Latest / Cameron's Conversations: The last weight loss podcast you'll ever need. / Episode 95: What is online coaching?
Transcript
- Cameron: Welcome to the Cameron's Conversations Podcast. And in today's episode, I have got Harry back on as well. So we're gonna talk all about what one-to-one coaching involved, what it is, what it isn't, and just a little bit of the things you might expect from one-to-one coaching. So this is more of a kind of just like informative talk about it episode. We're not gonna sit here and tell you to sign up, although, although I'm gonna caveat this because I had some terrible news today, which is my ⁓ first ever car has ⁓ broken down. And well not broken down, that's not true. It went for its MOT and it has failed its MOT catastrophically. So I'm now I'm now opening 73 new coaching spaces. No, I'm joking. It's like I was literally joking about this to to a friend. I was like, so currently I'm I'm full for coaching spaces. So I've got a little waiting list going for it like until until July. But I was joking, I was like, if my car finit fails its MOT, I'll be like that next day I'll be like that really dodgy like salesman who's like the next day, like, ⁓ I actually spontaneously have twenty more spaces for For b is it busy professionals? That's the line you always think PTs use, isn't it? They they have sp they have five spaces for busy professionals. But but the thing that baffles me is it's always five and it's always busy professionals. Like, do they do they not have it for people that are not busy and professional or you know, I don't know. Anyway, it just cracks me up. So ⁓ that's very sad news. So of course I might get to the end of this episode and go back on my word and open up seventy-three new spaces rather than saying fully booked, so maybe that'll change. Harry: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, always. it Cameron: But what we wanted to talk a little bit about was this, is what's involved with coaching and and we're gonna just start off a little bit with from your kind of perspective, what's the main reason people come into one to one coaching? Harry: I would say, ⁓ god that is a question. Accountability is probably the first point that I would say. ⁓ That is a huge... part of this and lots of things fall into the category of accountability whether it's goal setting, whether it's being consistent, whether it's reassurance, that's a real big one that people don't understand the value of is that a big chunk of our time is reassuring people are doing a great job because we are notoriously way too hard on ourselves. So having someone in your corner to go no no no this is awesome stuff or like helping you see the bigger picture where one week the scales don't move but then you can go yeah but look over the last six weeks they've moved this much and all of this kind of ⁓ perspective I suppose is the big bit so I would say probably the biggest one is people being concerned about especially if they're coming from sort and six drop in accountability that can be a real game changer so I would say that's probably the biggest reason I hear is people wanting to either continue or gain accountability with their goals. Cameron: Yeah, I agree with that. I think a lot of people that we see are kind of in one of two places. They are mindful that they need to start. So they're kind of like in that place where they're like, I want to lose some weight. I need to make a change. I need to make a change. That's really very much on their mind. Or they've kind of started moving forward, but it's very like stuttery. Like they kind of keep tripping over. So it's like, ⁓ three steps in the right direction, the weekend hits. Okay, now I've I've toppled back down the hill. Like, okay, I'm picking myself back up. Four days, ⁓ that was really good. ⁓ no, I had a work lunch. And I went full send at that work lunch and back down the hill I go. And it and they're kind of in that weird spot where now I often say this is the sucky thing about dieting, is you can put 70% of the effort in and get like very little return, not even 30% of the return. That's the sucky thing about dieting. Like if Harry's really good Monday to Saturday and an absolute idiot on Sunday and just goes full send. like and just eats way over his calories at every meal of the day and feels a bit sorry for himself because he's been on a big night out, which I don't really know if that's Harry's thing to be quite honest. You've never mentioned a night out to date, so definitely not mine. We're too old for that now, mate. That's the problem. We're no fun anymore. But like if you are a bit of a numpty one day a week, and I don't mean that to be like in a mean way, because look, I've done that. I've been the absolute weekend warrior where I was really good during the week and then mm absolutely atrocious come the weekend So this is very much me like saying that to myself more than saying it to you guys listening to this. But like that is a big thing. I think we get a lot of people in that position where they are sick fed up of tripping themselves up and feeling like they're in this never ending loop of like make a little bit of progress, lose a pound or two, gain three pounds, then maybe lose those three pounds again and just repeat. So I I would agree. I think a lot of people come in there. I think as well, most people now with the amount of information online have a sense of what to do. I would almost say that there's a slightly different problem we see a lot of now. And I'll be interested to see what you think of this, Harry, is like I think a lot of people are also completely overwhelmed. It's like more information's good until it's not, and then all of a sudden you've got people worrying about like really particular things, like really specific things that just don't matter all that much. Harry: Hmm. Yeah, I think there's a... I literally had a conversation with someone actually three days ago I think about this because he was very clued up with a lot of things but he was saying he just doesn't know the way he worded it is that he didn't know what data to pay attention to and what needed to be ignored and that is a huge one because I mean you go on Instagram now if you were to just search fat loss on Instagram you're gonna get a million different things people saying one thing eat this the next person saying don't eat that and then saying it's quarters That's the problem next person is insulin and then it's you know, and you just don't know where to go So that is a real big one where you know people want to and I think that's with a lot of things now like, you information is just so accessible for anything right and we all use an AI for everything and it helps to have like a point of call that is like, okay, I kind of relate to this person's ideas and opinions. Let me listen to what they're going to say. And that's the, that's the big part of it as well, for sure. Cameron: Yeah, I think that simplifying it down is really important also sometimes, and this is like again, if I was speaking to my my sort of previous self, and this isn't just true of nutrition as well, I can think of other instances where this is true, is like consumption of information feels productive and that's sometimes a problem. Like sometimes that's not a good thing. Like, yes, if you actually need to know what to do, that's great. Consume some information about it, find out about it. Harry: Hmm. Cameron: But if you're six months on and you're listening to your 78th podcast on a calorie deficit, guess what? You already know what the calorie deficit is. You already know you probably need to be sticking to it to lose weight. You already know that. And at a certain threshold, like it is just like it's just procrastination, but it feels good, right? Because it's not like it's not like scrolling on TikTok going down an absolute like rabbit hole of nonsense. Like it's not looking at silly cat videos. But at the same time, it's not really truly productive either, is it? Because like in that half hour of like listening to yet another thing or consuming another kind of like video on whatever it is, you could have actually just started getting organized with your food. You could have started tracking. You could have spent three to five minutes tracking all the calories in your day. So even if you're not hitting your calorie target, you're getting good at tracking because you've practiced it. But I think this is something else that's like a bit of a sentiment for a lot of people. It's like they're right on the threshold of taking action. But they're just struggling to do it themselves. And something I often say to people is like, let's normalize the fact that it is weight loss is hard. And what I mean by that is like people they're like they'll say things like, ⁓ but I know I sh I know what to do, I should just do it. It's like, well, if we look at like statistics, not that BMI is everything right, but look at statistics on how many UK adults are overweight, how many UK adults are obese, right? The average is to struggle with your weight. And even within that, people that are healthy weight, probably there's some people that still struggle with it. But Like the average is very much heavily in favour of the average being like struggling with your weight. That's reality, right? Most people are struggling. It's not the case that most people are are doing well. Like i I know I'm thirty one there, and I even speak to I went on a a stag due recently, and a few of the guys were mentioning about weight loss and stuff. I didn't bring it up, so the last thing I'm gonna talk about on a on a stag do is weight loss, right? Like Harry's laughing 'cause he'll know exactly what I mean by this. It's not gonna be the first thing I'm gonna be like, right, lads, well Let's all talk about like losing weight whilst we smash back tequila's. Probably not. Probably not. Yet that was a cot topical conversation that probably came up like twice a day a across like different different lads kind of talking about it. So it tells you how prevalent that internal dialogue and that conversation actually is. So the reason I say that is to just remind people that like if you are struggling with it, it's n more normal to struggle than it is not. It's actually probably abnormal to not struggle with your weight in some way, right? That's probably very unusual for most people. And I think that can be a good reminder as well. That's why coaching is so important for a lot of people is like it is a struggle to do it on your own. Because a lot of the time, if the average is that most people are struggling with it, most people also have behaviors that mean they're struggling with it. So they maybe don't eat very well, they drink too much, or they, you know, say they're gonna do one thing and then they don't do it. ⁓ I'm gonna eat healthy and then don't stick to it. If everyone around you is doing that, it doesn't make it easy, right? If me and Harry are like sharing the same household and we're both focused on nutrition, it's probably easier. If one of us is like way off piste and then have n we individually have no accountability. It's not very easy to stick to, is it? Like really, your environment matters and your work, your home life, like all these places, your friends, it's all impactful, isn't it? Harry: 100 % there's two sayings that I quite often find myself saying that you've kind of like... Mentioned both there and I quite often will be speaking to people and you know doing it wrong. Some people aren't They might not know what a calorie deficit is. They they need that education. It doesn't happen often A lot of people do know by the time they get to us they do know about it And I quite often will say to people look it's not you don't have an education problem. You have an implementation problem It's being able to take that knowledge and apply it which is difficult and the other thing that I say to a lot of people and this relates back to kind of like averages and things like that, that a lot of people don't have a weight loss problem. A lot of people can and have successfully lost weight. What they have is a weight maintenance problem and it's this idea of removing those ideas of weight loss and diet on, diet off and yo-yoing and things like that and it's the process of learning to lose the weight, you know, we can help people do it in a better way than they probably have done before but... It's then how do you maintain those results? Because that's one of the big things that will impact those statistics around obesity and things like that is a lot of those people have probably been a good weight at some point and then regained. So it's like if we can get you down and then be able to maintain that, that's also a huge improvement there as well. Cameron: Yeah, a hundred percent. I I agree with that sentiment. And I think it's just it is helpful sometimes to hear that and be like, it's not just to you. Like very often, you know, a a client will say to me in some like in a in a when they get their one-to-one feedback it from me, it's like they'll say, ⁓ like you it's like you've read my mind and it's like because I have been through these things before and because I have worked with people that struggle with these same things, because we all feel like it's just us and we all have our own version of it. Like there's no doubt that Harry and I will have struggled with similar things at different times in different ways. But there's probably a lot of crossover as well. And I think that's something that's quite important is that sometimes just having someone who actually gets it, because it's all well and good talking about it academically, but like I know what it's hungry like to be hungry on a diet. Like I know what it's like to not make the best food choices and then start and try and stick to my calories and struggle. I know what it's like to get to weekend, have great intentions and make an utter, utter arse of it as well. Like I've been there and I've done that. I'm sure Harry's too as well. And that that's really important because it allows it to be kind of like normalized. And then we can shortcut our clients going from struggling with that to getting into good place. So yeah, I think that's an interesting one. I definitely think the information overload's another reason that people start ⁓ with us as well. And sometimes like people will know that off the bat that they need accountability. Sometimes they think they just need the structure. And and then as time goes on, it's the accountability they often value more and more. But yeah, that's that's definitely the case. So talk to me a little bit about What does a normal like if if someone's working with you, if I was working with you this week, Harry, what would it look like? Like what are g my first couple of weeks of coaching gonna look like? What type of things might I expect from you? Harry: Yeah. So for me, you know, some coaches will have kind of set plans and programs and structures that they kind of work through. you kind of enter into their program and go through the structure of their program. I'm not saying that's a bad thing at all, but for me, it's all down to the individual. So having conversations with the client shapes what the next few. weeks and months look like. I'm very much kind of assessing lots of things in the first two weeks really, ⁓ regarding everything. So regarding, yes, of course, nutrition, exercise and stuff, but also lifestyle, understanding work schedules, routines at home. I wanna know all of these things because what I need to try and do is put myself... in your position so that I can figure out because there's no point me trying to force things into your life that don't fit. It's putting a square thing in a round hole or whatever the saying is. ⁓ So for me, the initial few weeks are for me to kind of see where you're at. So for example, even with tracking, if you're tracking your food, I'm not even going to give you targets. I just want to see what you're currently doing. That's going to help me understand one, the amount of energy you're consuming, what those meals look like. Cameron: Yeah, square square peg, round hole, that's the one. Harry: how regular they are or irregular, how many snacks are coming in, all of these things that I've got a real nice idea so that when I start actioning goals and targets, it's not me plucking something out of thin air. That might be this monumental like lifestyle change that is just massively overwhelming. It might be me saying, look, I can see quite often you're having lunch at buried hours and then when you have it really late, it kind of throws the rest of your day off and then that leads to a poor day and poor choices. What I want to see is try and have things at a more regular time. Try and have your lunch within this window. Let's try and work on this this week, you know, or it might be just setting calories for a specific meal or a specific, you know, whatever. ⁓ but it's all about building it step by step for me, because then in my mind, what happens is we're building this plan around your current lifestyle of improving all of these different elements, which compound together and make a huge difference rather than me just trying to make you fit into this way of life that I think everyone should be living. which doesn't exist, right? Everyone has different lives and different priorities and time scales and capacity is another big one where people will say, I don't have time for this. And I'm like, okay, you might have, you might not have time, but you might have time, but you might not have capacity. That is a different thing. And it's not to challenge someone on that aspect. It's to go, let's just make sure we're mentioning the right thing that, you know, I don't have capacity to do that right now. Okay, cool. Let's switch it and move over here. All of these kind of. things are super important, I think, for the initial stages of coaching. Cameron: Yeah, I agree. I think probably so much from our side, if we were purely talking for talking from like coaching side, is is trying to figure out the person sitting in front of us as such, right? Like we want to get an understanding of what that person likes, dislikes, struggles with, ⁓ maybe is stronger at as well. Because one of the things that I often find is actually most people have got a bunch of stuff they're doing really bloody good at as well. You'll have clients that are excellent at hitting their steps and they're really good at that already. And it's the nutrition that's letting them down or you know vice versa and there's always there's always something there's always something that we're tripping over but there's also a lot of things that people are better at and I think picking up on that's really really useful because it starts to allow us to figure out okay what what is the weakest link here as well because like we've talked about already like there are some people where I've kind of literally said to mum like look your Monday to Friday right now if I changed nothing about it like that would be fine. We'd be we'd probably pretty okay. But your weekends are carnage Like absolute carnage. I'm like it's like looking at a uni student's like subject, but no. Like, you know, we're we're kind of looking at it's like how can we then like tackle that? And what we'll figure out is like we'll start to look at it, be be kind of specific about it and be like, Okay, right, what what's going on here? Where where is it we're struggling with the weekend? Is it that when we're kind of going out into a social situation we have no plan at all? And then you get two minutes in and you feel really guilty because you feel like you've failed, and then you go overboard. 'Cause I I've had clients where that's the biggest problem. It it's not even a knowledge issue, it's That they are like if they go and have two drinks, they're kind of like, ⁓ I failed my diet. And I'm like, why though? Like, why why have you failed? And and we actually, I I can't say this like jokingly, but obviously we go into it in detail and kind of talk about, well, let's challenge that. Are you failing? And then often as not, they don't feel like they're failing and they start making much better decisions, not perfect decisions, but they no longer feel crushed by, you know, like guilt or whatever it is, for example. But that's one of the things that I would say we I heavily focus on in the first few weeks of coaching is. Giving people a structure to follow so they know where to start is useful. So then you know, you need input to kind of know, okay, like I need to structure my days out a little bit better. How do I do that? So we get very practical, but then we also get very practical in tackling the things that you are struggling with as well. And I think that's a huge deal because everybody is different. And even if the behavior is the same, the intention behind it or the reason behind it isn't always the same. Harry and I could both be lethal evening snackers, right? We could be super good at evening snacking, but it could be for two different reasons. Harry could be stressed out of his mind because he's had to rescue three cats from trees that day. Whereas I could just be like, I could just be in like the habit of it, right? It could just be something that like me and my partner do, and we just snack in the evening, and that's just normal. And the the ways you tackle that, even although they are both instances of evening snacking, we probably would both say, Harry: Thanks. Cameron: ⁓ yeah, just struggle with snacking in the evening. It sounds the same at face value, but it's not. And a large part of coaching is kind of unpacking a little bit of that and then giving you strategies. Because it could also be that s the next person along the line might say, I really struggle with hunger in the evening. And then you'll have find this too, Harry. I've looked at food diaries and been like, Yeah, I can see that. I I'm looking at your dinner and it's not filling enough. Like there's things that we could take that same meal. make it 30% more filling and all of a sudden they're like, ⁓ I'm not really snacking in the evening and they've used no extra willpower, it's just because they're full now. So I think that's a big thing as well. What do you think moving on to the kind of next bit then as well? I mean w there's there's lots of bits actually that kind of go into coaching. What do you think people get out of one to one coaching that they don't expect sometimes? What do you think is something that maybe takes people a little bit off guard or perhaps they come down to the line they value more than they initially thought they would? Harry: Yeah. God, it's, I almost want to answer and say everything because people will come very much kind of like, okay, I want to lose weight and they'll have their reasons to do that. But then it's like a bit of an analogy that I always use is, and this is fairly fitting for Cameron, but it's like when you go on a big hike and it's like, people come to us with looking at the peak, looking at the peak of the mountain and they go, and that's where I need to get to, I want to get to the top. That's where I'm going. And then it's like, they just expect to be going through that walk, just staring at the peak the whole time. And it's like, you get so many amazing moments throughout that walk, throughout that hike that you need to stop and go, Oh my God, this is amazing. And throughout your journey, when you're doing this kind of stuff, it's the same thing. you know, We're very fortunate in what we do that like on a weekly occurrence or daily occurrence, we have clients going, this thing happened this week and it was amazing and I felt really good and this was wonderful and that was wonderful. And they're the moments that I'm like, this, this is, this is it. This is, this is why you're doing this. You know, I don't conversation with a client who was saying about going kayaking with her family. And it was like this really incredible experience that she had where she was able to go on this kayak with her family, go out for the day and have the best time. And she was acknowledging that before that she wouldn't have touched it because she would have been so self-conscious about tipping over or getting in and all these things. mean, this client's lost an incredible amount of weight. But it's like moments like that. Other important bits like short weight loss great seeing a lower number of the scales fantastic fit into it Smaller set of clothes or whatever great, you know, we're not taking anything away from that. It's fantastic But for me, it's like what what are you gonna be able to do that? gonna add to the quality of your life and make you enjoy life better and That is the part of it that I think is often overlooked until it starts happening and when people start realizing they're enjoying life so much more that for me, I'm like Job done. Do you know I mean that's the that's the magic bit Cameron: Yeah, a hundred percent. I think this is a thing, like people often come to the door for weight loss and then they get weight loss, which is great because well ultimately that is what they pay us for coaching for. So that seems that seems pretty reasonable that they get that. But then also they get everything that comes with it, that massive upswing in confidence, that feeling of just being comfortable in their own skin. I think one of the things I find for a lot of people is that What they like is mindset-wise, they tend to feel more calm and more rational around everything from body image to food choices to like and I see it. I see it in the way clients message me. So like when someone maybe first starts, there's a lot of like they have a scale spike and they're like, ⁓ I'm so annoyed at this scale spike. I can't believe that's gone up. I've done so well yesterday. And that's kind of the internal dialogue. And then like two months on, they're like, Yeah, scale's bumped up a little bit, but my moving average is still going lor my average is still going down nicely and my my clothes fit much. better so feeling pretty good. That's a totally different thing. But actually It's the same thing that's happened on the scales. Like they said the same point four kilo jump in both instances, but they're just in this this a slightly different mindset where they're not so reactive to it. And that's important because a lot of clients come to us with like really not a great relationship with the scales. And what I mean by that is it's not that going on the scales even stresses them. That will be the case for some people, but it's that when things go up, they just get really bloody miffed with it. And and they can really like this is a really common thing is people get so frustrated, and people get most frustrated. frustrated when they do things right and the scales go up. That's the bit that catches people. Like look, if you go way overboard at the weekend and you're annoyed that the scale's going up on a Monday, like it's it's annoying but it's predictable. But sometimes the scales go up for reasons like that are not immediately clear, right? You can have a great week for four days, you're dropping, and then out of the blue on like Friday your weight spikes up and you What have done wrong? Nothing. You've done nothing wrong. And we're not going to talk about the reasons they fluctuate, because that's that's we've done probably about three or four podcasts on that already, I'm sure. I'm sure I've done a few solo episodes on the scale. So you can go back and listen to those. But the thing that I kinda want to take from this is like I think a big thing is that is a bit of a sense of calmness is quite important. like a bit more rationality around weight fluctuations and I I can they're almost get to a point where you'll see it in the language they say it's just what I would say in terms of like, look, this is probably why and then they know that and y you they're almost like reciting that back and like that's a good thing in terms of like they're processing it and being like, Okay, I actually had really salty food last night and I had dinner an hour later than normal. And actually it's that point in my cycle I see a spike. So I'm not gonna worry about it. Whereas at the start they see a spike related to their cycle and they're so annoyed because they feel bloated and crappy. So I think that's a big thing is like a bit of mindset but also perhaps a little bit less stress. 'Cause I often think like it's so time consuming and and mental energy consuming being stressed all the time about your nutrition, right? So time consuming and energy consuming. Harry: 100 % Yeah, I think one of the biggest frustrations I get is when clients... feel so bad about something they don't need to. So it's like they'll do a check in or they'll speak to me and they'll go, you know what, last two days I've been struggling. I'm just feeling really down because there was a spike up and I've gone, I've gone back two weeks and I look at that stuff and I'm like, no, no, no, no. Like that's not what's happening. That's not reality. And I explained things and whatever. And then, you know, you're sat there thinking, God, you felt horrible for this amount of time because you were looking at things wrong or, you know, whatever, you know, and then once they do kind of take that turn and do exactly as you said, where they'll go, you know what I was going out this day and I knew there was going to be a spike up in the morning. I had some pasta at dinner and I knew it was going to be a more carby. So I had it a bit later as well. So I knew there was going to be a spike. It came up by 0.8 of a kilo, which I knew. So I didn't worry about it. Three days later, it came back down. So it's all good. And they'll say it so casually. I'm like, wait, hold on a minute. Wait up. Let's have a little look at that again. Cause that is bloody awesome. And it's like being able to kind of, cause that's thing. I mean, I could probably count on one hand. And I'm even struggling to find anyone in my memory that has come to me for coaching and hasn't needed to improve their relationship with the scales. I don't. Yeah. Cameron: Hard to find, isn't it? Yeah. And it and in for some people it rears their head its head later on than others. Like you you sometimes find as well when someone's dropping weight quite quickly at the start, because some people will be quite responsive. Maybe the nutrition hasn't been fantastic like the months leading up to it, or they've come back from a holiday. So you get like two, three weeks where it's like, ⁓ smooth sailing, like weight's dropping really nicely. And then the first time they're like, My weight hasn't dropped in three days. And then it's like it feels like an absolute disaster. And you're No, no, no, like this is part of the process as well. Like a weight bounces about a whole bloody lot. I think that's important because also from our perspective, like people come in very focused on weight loss and that's normal. And we will get them there with weight loss. that part's really, really like it's important and it's critical, but it's only the start because actually what we want is people to walk ⁓ out the door down the line with a really good mindset around these things too. Because if I snap my fingers and and make someone the right sort of weight in terms of where they want to be or their goals say right. I don't really mean right being where they want to be weight wise, that's cool. But if they are stressed out about what the scales say every day or even although they're a good place and they feel in shape and they feel quite happy until they step on the scales or they Are picking things apart and they're beating themselves up about stuff. That doesn't really, that's not really success to me. Like it's it's only partial success. Like weight loss is one element of it, but actually, you do need to get in the right mindset. Cause like I've seen it before where people will be dialed in for like six weeks, they will be focused, and then it comes to the end of that four, six-week period, whatever parameter they've set, and then it's just chaos after that because they just like lose that focus and it completely goes, and then they're beating themselves up and it becomes like a bit like the emotional eating stuff. Rears its head again. So actually, a big part of coaching is helping people tackle the downstream issues that come up as well. For some people, literally they'll walk in the door and they'll be stressed the scales. And in some ways, that's kind of good because it helps you tackle out the gate. For some people, it'll be like month in, and then they can that comes up, it's like, ⁓ I'm really annoyed at this has happened. And it's like, well, look at all this progress we've made already. So yeah, I think those are some really good things as well. And I think within that, like there's obviously a lot that goes into coaching. We've not talked about the kind of nuts and bolts of it. We'll perhaps talk a little bit about that in in another episode about how actually the structure works because there is a little bit more that goes into that side of it but we like to cap the episodes at 30 minutes so we'll limit that there but hopefully that was helpful and gives you a bit of an insight in terms of how we think about coaching and what people's experience of coaching tends to be like as well. If you are interested in want to coaching with Myself you will see a link in the show notes and to book a chat for that or you can pop me a little WhatsApp message. That link is also in the show notes of the description. Otherwise have a great day and we'll speak to you soon. Mm-hmm. Harry: See you later. Cameron: No play.