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Are you idolizing your body? · SAY GRACE | Weight Loss + Health for Overwhelmed Women- Stress, Busy, Consistency, Realistic, Motivation, Starting Over, No Restrictions

0:39
Oh, y'all. Okay. Can we just say I'm proud of you if you clicked on this episode?
0:47
Because you know by the title that I'm probably going to step on some toes.
0:52
I also just want to say, y'all, the devil, he's out here.
0:56
He has been messing with my computer as I've been trying to record this.
0:59
So I'm just going to proclaim now in Jesus' name, Satan, you are not going to
1:05
ruin this episode because I know someone needs to hear it.
1:10
And if we're being honest, you know, this is a topic that I have needed to hear
1:13
in the past and probably still do, you know, periodically, you know, present day.
1:19
So today we are going to get a little deeper and talk about the reason behind
1:26
your commitment to certain health habits, okay?
1:30
And the reason behind certain goals that you want to reach, even if the habits
1:35
haven't shown up yet, you know, for reaching the goal.
1:38
And I think this topic is so important, especially right now,
1:45
right? Because if you look around, everybody's getting skinnier.
1:48
We've got all the options for ways to get skinnier. And it can be a really big,
1:56
pressure. You can feel pressure. You can feel like a weight on you about it.
2:02
It's hard enough right looking in the mirror every day like just us right just when it's just us,
2:09
but it's even harder now that you're looking around and seeing how easy it seems
2:14
to be for other people to lose weight and how other people are talking about
2:19
their weight loss so much more,
2:21
And so we can easily become,
2:25
someone who chases after,
2:27
a result out of our flesh, period. Okay?
2:34
And so I want to just kind of dive in on this today so that,
2:39
because I know from experience and I know from multiple clients' experience,
2:45
chasing something out of your flesh never ends the way you want it to, right?
2:52
Even though in those moments, we may feel that desperation in a way that is
2:57
just gut wrenching, the outcome, it may, the outcome may be the weight loss, right?
3:04
But you're not fulfilled in the way you hoped it would fulfill you.
3:09
Or life just seems to be harder in other ways.
3:13
And so it bears a question like, are we idolizing our body or are we honoring
3:21
our body? And so today we're going to kind of talk through...
3:25
How that may look, either way, right? And then some things that you can do to
3:32
kind of identify whether you might be in the idolizing boat.
3:39
And I think I want to start though and make sure that we all know that this comes without shame.
3:45
I think we become better people by hearing different perspectives and allowing
3:53
maybe the Holy Spirit to stir something in us about a certain perspective, right?
3:58
Like you can hear about, man, people be giving perspectives and opinions all
4:03
day, every day from every which way, right?
4:05
And so I think what is beautiful about being a Christ follower is sometimes
4:12
when those perspectives kind of stir in us, right?
4:16
When we're not just hearing it as somebody else running off at the mouth,
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but it actually stirs in us and prompts us to say, maybe I should examine that
4:24
a little bit more. Right.
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And so I have had this all throughout my life.
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I'm actually very, very thankful for all the women in my life that pour pour
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out and say things that may cause me some offense.
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Right. But eventually cause me to look, to look to turn around and look at myself
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and so and I also want to share that I.
4:48
I have experienced this recently right idolizing my body and,
4:55
I want to share that with you you know how how it's looked for me recently because
4:59
I don't think I think gosh in this culture right it's so easy to get caught
5:04
up in it it's so easy to do it without even noticing and like,
5:08
I feel like even though I've created a platform that really tries not to put,
5:12
the physical aspects of weight loss on a pedestal,
5:17
gosh, it can still sneak in.
5:19
So even just recently, my personal struggle with losing baby weight, okay?
5:27
After I had my first daughter, that was kind of really what the program was
5:31
born out of. And so I struggled, obviously, to lose weight, but I also struggled
5:36
to kind of figure out how I was going to do it and whatnot.
5:40
And so that was its own beast. Well, then I had Glory and I had built this program.
5:45
I knew my methodology. I had created it from, you know, out of how I lost my
5:50
weight with my first daughter.
5:52
And so lost weight using my method, right? Using my program and it was very
5:58
effective and I lost it very quickly.
6:01
And, you know, I was proud of that. And I felt no, like I didn't feel this.
6:08
Actually, I don't know. Maybe I did feel some pressure there,
6:10
but I just remember feeling like it was a flow. It was so easy.
6:15
I was able to do it. There wasn't anything that felt like it was a burden.
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I just I loved that process.
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And so this time around, after having Evie, like I've mentioned before,
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you know, I'm much older.
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And also I had some other things that,
6:32
had to become more of a priority in my life than being able to buckle down as
6:39
hard as I did after having Glory to lose this weight.
6:43
And I struggled a lot with like, it just felt like a burden.
6:49
Like I knew as a mom and as someone who has really had to practice laying down,
6:56
you know, a too long to do list, right? Like I knew I could not just put my
7:00
all into my post baby weight loss.
7:03
But at the same time, it felt like a failure that I couldn't.
7:08
Like I practically saw why I couldn't, but I still felt like a failure, you know.
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So I really had to examine like my motivation behind why am I trying to lose
7:18
weight and why does it feel so heavy to me, you know.
7:22
And I think it is easy to recognize that I felt like I had something to prove
7:28
as a weight loss coach, right. Like I needed to be able to strive and show the
7:32
world that I could lose this weight as fast as possible. And it was so easy
7:36
and it was so fabulous. But I didn't.
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Even though my season was different, right? I have three kids,
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had some recovery issues after having Evie.
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We just, our season was just jam packed.
7:50
Not to mention, I've got like, gosh, picky mouths to feed.
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You know, there was just a lot more going on in this season of having a baby,
8:00
than like a lot more things fighting against me in this season than there were
8:05
in the last seasons, You know,
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and so just recently, right, I had to like sit back and say,
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Constance, why are you wearing this with such weight, like burden?
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Why are you feeling so heavy about this topic?
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And it was because I was idolizing my body instead of honoring it.
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I wanted to look the way I wanted to look and I wanted it to happen now.
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And I wanted to show the world that this is how you can do it.
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And it's so easy because look at me. I'm a weight loss coach.
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And this is how I help people do it, you know?
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And so that was my perspective. But even thinking about like,
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okay, this one is a great example, maybe in your current life right now.
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Like, think about two friends, okay? You can have the same, like two best friends,
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right? Both eat healthy.
8:57
Both could be exercising daily. And both could be drinking their water every day, right?
9:02
But one makes it look effortless and she truly means it when she says it's part
9:07
of her daily routine to feel better, right?
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But the other one who's doing the exact same things,
9:15
could be so caught up in the striving of it all and hating each step of it every single day.
9:24
Constantly running to that scale, looking for the results and the smaller pants
9:29
and expecting that to tell her her worth, right? Instead of focusing on how she feels.
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So friend one is doing all these things out of the overflow of a grateful heart,
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of a comfortable heart, of, you know, a heart that loves how she feels when
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she is doing these health habits.
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And the other friend who's doing the exact same thing could be harboring a lot
9:56
of frustration, a lot of resentment, a lot of dread inside of her body,
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right? And they're both the same.
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But it could easily be said that one is her body and one is idolizing her body, right?
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The same habits are happening.
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The motives are just different. One is striving to prove and the other is supporting
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herself with her habits.
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So there is a difference between caring for your body because it has value versus
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trying to control your body so you'll finally feel valuable.
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Let me say it again. There's a difference between caring for your body because it has value, right?
10:43
And trying to control your body so you'll finally feel valuable, right?
10:49
So this verse in 1 Corinthians 6, 19 through 20, do you not know that your bodies
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are temples of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have received from God. You are not your own.
11:02
You were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies.
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Now, some can say that this is a verse used to encourage that good eating and physical habits.
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Y'all, I probably use it myself in that way to say like, you don't feel like
11:16
it, but do it anyway, because the Bible says to honor God, right?
11:19
Like I definitely, we can position that verse in that way.
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But if like deep down, it is still from a place of fleshly striving,
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if we're saying honor your body because it honors God, but really it's gonna
11:37
make me look good in this two piece in the summer, right?
11:41
That is from fleshly striving, then that means we've missed it.
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Right? Like we've missed it. I can honor my body.
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At 132 pounds or 122 pounds, right?
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I can honor, you can honor your body at 210 pounds or 140 pounds.
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Like it doesn't matter the weight, right?
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If we are honoring from a posture of true like eyes on the Lord instead of,
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oh, if I was smaller, things would be better.
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Oh, if I was smaller, I could honor God more easily in my actions throughout
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the day. Oh, oh, oh, like all these excuses.
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But really where it's coming from is not from the heart. It's from that fleshly desire, right?
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So if you are finding yourself in a place of like constant guilt
12:41
about not accomplishing everything you said you wanted to do,
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or if you find yourself like letting the scale tell you how you're going to
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feel about yourself today, like it's weigh-in Friday.
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And if you haven't lost the weight that you expected to lose,
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then you are like down on yourself. You have negative self-talk all day. Like, right.
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Or if you are striving out of fear of not seeing change instead of striving
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out of the overflow of wanting to support a healthy body and healthy habits.
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Or if you are striving out of telling yourself, like, okay, once I do this,
13:15
then I'll be happier, then you might be idolizing your body and idolizing those health goals.
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Because the difference is you are looking to a future body as the answer to
13:28
all your problems instead of looking to God to solve your problems right now.
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He got you right now. You know, you don't have to gain, lose,
13:38
whatever, a pound, right? Like he's got you right now. And then out of that,
13:43
surrender and that comfort, then you're able to serve your body well, right?
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Just today, I was reading in my Bible study.
13:52
I'm doing a Bible study with some other women in business. And so we're reading
13:57
a Bible study on rest and the Sabbath.
14:00
And, you know, it was really challenging. Like, okay, we say God's number one in our lives.
14:07
But if we choose an action that does not reflect that, then what does that say?
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If we truly feel like we cannot lay down whatever it is that has a hold on us,
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whether it's our work, whether it is.
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Social media, whether it is consumption in general, like consumption of things
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or food, excess spending, whatever it is.
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We're saying you know god's our our homie our number one right but if we,
14:38
when it comes down to the crossroads and we're still choosing to open the instagram
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app when we know we need to be you know doing something else we're still choosing
14:46
to work while it's supposed to be time with our family we're still choosing to,
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you know strive towards a specific body even though we feel that resistance,
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then like what is that really saying about us, right?
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And so two, like to take that even further, could this be the reason that regardless
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of your striving, your results always feel void?
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Like I have so many women that will go hard for a few weeks and then they just
15:16
fall off and like we don't hear from them. And I'm like, what's the deal, you know?
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And it's because their health habit choices came out of a desperation effort,
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a striving effort, right?
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We have said, I want to lose 10 pounds. So these are the things that I'm going
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to do to lose 10 pounds. But we have then taken the process and the outcome,
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out of God's hands and into our own, right?
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Instead of doing our best to honor our body in the way that we know how for
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him, we've made it about control and desperation for us and what we want to see, right?
15:58
And it's hard because, like I said, just like those two friends I just mentioned,
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they're doing the exact same thing, but one's heart is so different than the other's, right?
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And so all it is, is it's got to be a heart check and checking in with those health habits too.
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Like, is this miserable for me? And I'm forcing myself to do it out of a desperation
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versus I know God's got me. I'm going to do my best in these areas, right?
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In Exodus, it says to have no other gods before him. Okay, so think about that.
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Or are you looking at your girlfriend and seeing how she's dropped a pant size?
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And then all of a sudden, all your faith and all your trust and all your surrender, it's out the window.
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And you're researching weight loss possibilities or weight loss avenues that
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you otherwise would have never chosen. That's desperation.
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The Lord don't place desperation on our hearts, y'all. That's somebody different.
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And it ain't God. Okay. It's not the Holy Spirit.
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Put in desperation in our hearts, right? So have no other gods before him.
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In Matthew, Jesus says you cannot have two masters.
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Like you can't, it's either one or the other.
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Like, so who are we choosing and who are we trusting? Ourselves and our,
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you know, desperate desires to change by trying to control and do the things
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that the world tells us to do or him? Right.
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And then in Matthew, he goes on to say, do not worry about what you'll eat or
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drink or the clothes you wear. He says, look at the birds and the lilies,
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right? Like if he takes care of them, he'll surely take care of you.
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So seek him first and then all the things will be given to you.
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So like, what if we flipped it on our head, right? Like, what if we said,
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like, I'm going to choose instead of taking it all into my own hands,
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making myself a rigorous workout plan and, you know,
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meal prepping for the whole week and meal planning and, you know,
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only drinking water and not having the cake at my kid's birthday party and,
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you know, gosh, eating too little at Thanksgiving because we've got that coming up, right?
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Like, what if we flipped it on its head and said, you know what,
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God, like, I know that I've got struggles with food. I've got struggles with
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consistency. I've got struggles with whatever, whatever your struggles are related
18:28
to your health and your weight, right?
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Like I know these things about myself. So I am opening my hands.
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I'm giving it to you, God. I am trusting that you're going to meet me here and
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take care of me because that's what the Bible says, right?
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And trusting that whatever that looks like, like whatever the outcome is, right?
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It may not mean that you lose three pounds by the end of the week, right?
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That's what we want. We want to say, okay, God, I'm going to trust you.
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And the next thing you know, you got a six pack, you know, but it may not look
18:56
like that, But trusting him anyway, because, gosh, what if it just came with
19:00
a piece about food and about your body?
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Oh, my gosh, just that alone. Right. Like if we just got the piece,
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even if we didn't lose a pound, if we just got the piece, that'd be worth it
19:10
all. Right. Because we trying to lose pounds out here because we ain't got a
19:13
piece for, you know, for most of us. Right.
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Ecclesiastes 4.6 says, better one handful with tranquility than two handfuls
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with toil and chasing after the wind.
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So this means that striving extra hard out of trying to prove yourself or out
19:31
of envy, okay, out of control is literally going to get you nowhere.
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Like you are out there just chasing the wind. Jess and I were talking about
19:42
this on last week because this Bible verse came across in a study that I was doing.
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And we were talking about like our future and just how, you know,
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excessive the world can be and how, gosh, excessive in all ways,
19:57
right? Including weight loss and health, right?
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But this was, we were talking about something different.
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And I mentioned this verse in Ecclesiastes and I was like,
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babe, for the first time after reading this verse, I was like imagining myself
20:11
out here, out, we were sitting outside and I'm like, I was imagining myself
20:14
out here, like truly just running around, like chasing some wind.
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And like, I would just be running back and forth in the same area,
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you know, for the rest of my life, instead of just saying, like.
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That the one handful with tranquility, like, God, okay, like, it's yours.
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And so here's the piece that you're promising me, right? And like,
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I'm going to stop striving based on what the world says or what what the world
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looks like and just let you guide me in however that looks.
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I can tell you from experience, like the outcome is much more fruitful and you
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are much less exhausted, right? Like that's that, right?
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And so with this, I'm not saying to completely abandon your health, right?
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Like, don't come off of this podcast and say like, okay, well,
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then Constance said I can go on out here and eat these Oreos,
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you know, because if I don't, then I'm striving and I'm, you know,
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idolizing my body or whatever. No.
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I'm saying to make sure that your priorities and your motives are aligned.
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To make sure that you're not waking up every day,
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trying to strive, trying to do, trying to produce, perform, whatever out of,
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a heart that's telling you you're not enough and this is how you're going to become enough.
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This is the body you want. This is how you have to get it by hustle,
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by hustle, by killing yourself trying, right? Like that is what I'm trying to open your eyes to.
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If you are waking up every day saying, I need to get skinnier at all costs,
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and it's consuming your brain in a negative way so that out of that,
22:07
you are then depriving yourself.
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You are then doing things out of desperation. You are then withholding or restricting
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in a way that feels like punishment.
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Then maybe we just need to check that, you know?
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And it can feel really counterproductive. Like it's a really hard thing.
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Again, from experience, it's a really hard thing.
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But by placing the Lord first, He will help us with our desires so much more
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than us trying to control it ourselves if we just check ourselves, right?
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And then say, whoop, I've had it backwards.
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Lord, I'm gonna need your help here, you know?
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So three things that I just want to call you to okay to help you kind of walk through this,
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after hearing these words from me the first one is take some time like when
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you turn this pie I mean you've probably already got like a like a stirring
23:06
and like maybe your stomach feels a little nauseated after hearing some of this and so
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there's your sign you know but take some time to
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after this podcast is over to examine this about yourself right like again without
23:18
judgment without shame, right?
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Like noticing doesn't mean shame.
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Like we can notice and then we can move through that and shift without feeling
23:31
the guilt and the shame of what it was that we noticed, right?
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So notice your thoughts, notice your actions present day or maybe in the past,
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right? And ask yourself, like, am I doing this to support my body?
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Or because I'm trying to fix something that makes me unhappy about myself.
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Okay? Because nothing is going to fix your discontent-ness. Is that a word, discontent-ness?
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If it ain't through the Lord, right? Like that's what we out here in this world,
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spending all this money we don't have, doing all these things we shouldn't be
24:08
doing, seeking happiness essentially.
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But like, if we're bypassing the Lord, baby, you ain't never gonna find it, you know?
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So just take some time. Like what are some habits, some things in your life,
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strongholds even, right?
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That are happening out of striving instead of out of a place of contentment and peace.
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And for some people, this is going to look like some of the health habits we
24:36
talk about here, right? Like not everybody is comfortable with tracking their intake.
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Some people can track their intake and be like, well, all right,
24:46
well, that's what I ate today. See you later, my fitness pal. Catch you tomorrow.
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And they're so comfortable with it. But some people are so busy striving for
24:57
this ideal body or this ideal lifestyle or whatever it is they've got their heart set on.
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That it causes them extreme anxiety to track because it's never going to be good enough, right?
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So again, it could be health habits that we talk about here,
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but maybe they're just not right for you right now, you know? Yeah.
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The next step would be to notice how you respond when things don't go how you want them to.
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Okay, so like if you said, all right, this is how my day is going to go,
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or this is how I'm going to eat, or this is my meal plan, and then that doesn't happen today.
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Do you respond with a failure mentality?
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Does it turn into like one of those negative spirals where you tell yourself
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you can't do it, you're always going to fail, you're never going to lose this
25:39
weight, and the next thing you know, you quit trying at all, right?
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Or do you give yourself the grace and the encouragement that you think I would
25:49
give you or that you would give someone else, right?
25:53
Do you actually zoom out and say, okay, girl, I understand why maybe you didn't
25:56
stick to your meal plan today because work got crazy, your kid got sick,
26:01
your husband picked up pizza on the way home without knowing that you had planned,
26:05
to make salads for dinner or whatever, you know?
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Like, can you zoom out and take yourself out of the equation but still look
26:13
at what happened and say, gosh, that deserves some grace, right?
26:20
And then three, recognize that you can still have goals, right?
26:24
Like you can still work towards physical changes. Like it is not shameful to
26:28
try or it is not, you know, idolizing your body to try to physically improve, right?
26:36
But begin removing the foundation of doing specific things because it's what
26:41
you need to do to fix about yourself, right?
26:46
We are not doing things out of a fixing, right?
26:49
We are doing things out of, Lord, I know you made me perfect in your image,
26:56
but I do want to support my body in the way that I know I need to.
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I do want to support my body so
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that I can live a life and do the mission that you have called me to do.
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I do want to learn to support my body in a way that doesn't have me constantly
27:18
obsessing over food, over how I look, over the negative aspects of,
27:25
you know, my body, my food, my everything, you know, that has to do with me physically.
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Like, I do want to continue in this direction. I just want to do it with a different
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heart posture, right? Lord, can you show me how that's supposed to look for me?
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He may answer you with some wild stuff. I'm just,
27:48
Just recognizing like, okay, I know I don't have to stop with my goals,
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but I do want to align my goals with a lifestyle that he has,
27:58
for me that feels like a lifestyle of tranquility instead of chasing the dang wind, you know?
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Y'all, you can improve your health from a posture of ease and alignment.
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I've always said that. And I feel that way, you know, about other areas of my life.
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Like I've been able to improve my work ethic.
28:18
I've been able to improve my marriage, like from all these things,
28:21
from a posture of ease and alignment, just from growth over time in the Word
28:26
and growth, again, by things people have poured into me that I otherwise would
28:30
not have known, right? By learning, learning.
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But even in this season for me I have been able to improve my health to get
28:40
closer to that pre-baby weight to physically you know feel better,
28:47
through ease and alignment by just laying it down laying that pressure of getting
28:52
back down to my baby weight in a certain amount of time right or getting back
28:55
down to my pre-baby weight,
28:57
as quickly as I deal with glory or get back down to my pre-baby weight so that
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I can tell everybody that I did it.
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And, you know, here's why my program's amazing, right?
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Like, even in this season, I've like learned a whole nother layer of this for
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myself that like, okay, yeah, I'm still steadily losing weight.
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But gosh, it's not from that striving. You want to know it's funny?
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And like, the first little bit where I was like,
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trying to get back down from a from a place of striving was like this the slowest
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weight loss I was having you know and so then when I was finally like you know
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what Laura whatever we're gonna figure this out you know when it comes and,
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my hands are open right I'm gonna stop striving because I know it's not serving
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me or you well like well then it's just felt so much easier to lose and I and
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the smaller you get the harder it is to lose y'all that's like,
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science so it scientifically it doesn't even make sense that I've lost weight, but then it's,
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easier coming off as I'm losing.
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I don't know. It's wild. It's totally the Lord. That's all I'm saying.
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And so just with that, you can still work to improve, right?
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The Lord wants us to do that. He wants us to like put forth good effort, right?
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But just from a posture of comfort and not pressure and striving, right?
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You can make strides every day without running from the guilt that you feel.
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Like the guilt is the reason you're making strides. That doesn't have to be
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the case. You can just make strides out of ease, out of alignment, out of comfort, right?
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And without doing it perfectly because you're doing your best.
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But it does take that time to examine your heart, right? And see where maybe
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we need to zoom in a little bit, right? And then also praying for the change.
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Really like, man, spiritual warfare is such a thing.
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And so the minute that you recognize this in yourself, the devil won't come
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after it 10 times harder, right?
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And so really being adamant about praying for that change and praying for, you know,
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protection and continuing to show up in that headspace day in and day out,
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right? So that the Lord don't take you out.
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I mean, sorry, so that the devil don't take you out, right? Yeah.
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So, I know this, again, this one's a little different. I told y'all we were
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going to start bringing a little bit different topics here. And by no means am I perfect.
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If you had told me five years ago that I would have been getting on a podcast
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talking about idolatry and reading Bible verses, I would have probably like thrown up in my lap.
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It makes me very nervous, right? Because it's not, I mean, I'm real good at
31:51
getting out here talking about food and weight loss and encouragement and all
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that. But this is a newer thing for me.
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But I am feeling really called to kind of tie it all together because it is.
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It's not one or the other. It's not Jesus or a skinny body, right?
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It's not Jesus or a healthy person.
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It is both and, right? We cannot live a healthy lifestyle without full surrender
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and without realizing that God comes first.
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Then comes whatever he has for you for that health improvement you know there's
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a lot of other things that come in between but you know what I'm saying.
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A great resource, if you're like, okay, I'd love a little more help with this.
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So a great resource is our Consistency Over Chaos Week.
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In this week, we teach you how to like stop that noise, the pressure, right?
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The overwhelm, the push to lose weight. And this is how you do it.
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And this is what this one, an influencer said. And this is, you know,
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what I read and whatever, right?
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We teach you how to stop it, how to like get still, how to find peace in your
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day so that then you're able to lose the weight from a place of ease.
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And create a more aligned rhythm, right, of putting God first and everything else next, right?
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And so again, this takes practice, but this week really introduces you to how,
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how to put that practice into place.
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So if you're interested in that, check out, it's our website,
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it's perfectfitnutrition.com backslash C over C, and we'll put it in the description as well.
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But as always, I hope you guys, especially, especially today with this topic, remember to say great.