Latest / Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot / Living in Alignment 5/7: Completion Without Pressure — Why Calm Finishes What Force Can’t, and How to Close the Loop #FinishStrongFriday

Transcript

Living in Alignment 5/7: Completion Without Pressure — Why Calm Finishes What Force Can’t, and How to Close the Loop #FinishStrongFriday · Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot

• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Greetings, beautiful souls.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Greetings and welcome.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the sweet spot.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: It is Finish Strong Friday.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Can you believe it?
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: Already Friday, and you're in it.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: You've been in a series with me called Living in Alignment.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: Derek Sweet.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host here on The Sweet Spot.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: As you know, I'm a born certified psychiatrist.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: I work with high performance individuals, and more than that, I enjoy sitting with you and discussing how do we live the best life we ever can live while we're on this side of eternity.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: Beautiful souls.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: Let's talk about how we finish things.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: Not how we start, not how we plan, not about setting intentions, but how do we carry something all the way through?
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: You know, most of us are pretty good at beginnings.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: We open the document, we start the project, we have the conversation, we make the plan, we take the first step.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: But following things through can sometimes feel a little bit heavier than it should.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: And we usually tell ourselves it's a motivation problem or a discipline problem or a focus problem or a fatigue problem.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of times it's none of those.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of times, Loki is an alignment problem.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: When something feels out of sync with who you are, where you are, or what you care about, your system can be very quiet about resisting it, and it will.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: Not in a dramatic way, but in a tired way, in an avoiding way, a distracted way, a let's do it later kind of way.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: Now, don't get me wrong, this is not because you're lazy or because something's wrong with you or you're broken or something like that.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's not even because you don't care.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: From a scientific psychological perspective, it could be that your nervous system feels pressure instead of purpose.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: And when a task feels forced, rushed, disconnected from meaning or emotionally heavy, your body reads it as stress.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: And stressed-out systems don't like to move, they don't move forward too easily, they tighten up.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: Stressed-out systems hesitate, they're looking for relief, they're looking for comfort.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: That's why you end up with certain kinds of habits when you're under stress.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: Because getting to the finish line can feel exhausting, not because the task is hard, but because your system hasn't settled down yet.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: So when something feels aligned, it's completely different, right?
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: The finishing is different when you have the alignment.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: Everything feels calmer, clearer, more natural, more doable.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, not necessarily easy, but steady, not rushed.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: Because the system isn't fighting the action when it's aligned.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: The ancient wisdom always understood this.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: Things are completed through steadiness in the ancient wisdom, not pressure, through presence and not force when you study the ancient wisdom, through meaning, not urgency.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: Beloved, I give you rest.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: So let's make this come home.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: Let's make this land for us today for a second.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: Think about one small thing you've been carrying this week or maybe this month that hasn't been finished yet.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing overwhelming, nothing dramatic, just something unfinished that's been sitting quietly in the background of your mind.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: For me, it's the book that I'm writing that seems to be taking forever, right?
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: Notice what happens in your body when you think about it.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: Not when, not what you think about it, but but when you think about it, what happens?
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: Whether or not there's a contention, a tightness, a heaviness, a resistance, a fatigue, something that comes up.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: And then you have to ask yourself, well, huh.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: Is this hard because it's difficult?
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: Or is it hard because I'm sort of out of alignment?
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we don't finish because we're overwhelmed.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's because we're tired.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: Other times it's because the meaning is sort of gone.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's because the task itself no longer fits with our values because we're carrying emotional weight and not task weight, if that makes sense.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes what we really need isn't more of a push.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: We need to step back and get aligned again.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: So today, Finish Strong Friday isn't about forcing you to produce, isn't about forcing me to write another chapter.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's about clearing the list and trying to find a way not to prove anything, but to do one tiny thing, one small step, one action that moves me into alignment that's honest and not forced, steady and not rushed.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: Not to impress anyone, not to just say that I finished it, but to give my system the experience of completing something small.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: One thing without all that stress.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: Because finishing isn't really about productivity, it's about closure, it's about peace, it's about relief, it's about integrity, it's even about letting your mind rest so you can finish.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's about relaxing your shoulders so you can finish.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe taking a deep breath so that you can finish.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's about not carrying the unfinished energy and the judgment and the self-criticism into everything.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: And when you get aligned, things become possible.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: So don't just try to finish everything today just to see how I finished it.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: Finish one thing in the direction of what you have to get done in a way that feels kind to your system.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: Let your body feel what it's like to complete something without pressure.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: Let your mind feel what it's like to close the loop without stress, without judgment.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: Let your spirit feel what it's like to follow through without force.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's a finished strong Friday.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: Not grinding, not hustling, not pressure hustling.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: Just aligning so that you can be complete.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: So think about the one small thing you can finish today, one small thing that would let you breathe a little easier tonight and this weekend.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: And then come back tomorrow, self-care Saturday, and we'll talk all about it.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: Derek Sweet.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: You've been listening to The Sweet Spot.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: This is Finish Strong Friday.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's all about alignment.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: Please share this with somebody you care about, somebody who needs to hear this.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: And if you haven't signed up or subscribed, it's free.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: Do it today.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: Love and blessings, and I'll see you for self care saturda tomorrow.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: Don't miss it!