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Transcript

Why the words you use REALLY matter · #BeMoreLobster

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Sacrifice or investment?
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: Today's podcast is offering you a tiny shift that can change the way that you feel, the way that you act, and how long you're able to stick at something that's really important to you.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: And it all comes down to the words that you use.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're ready, let's dive right in.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's fair to say that most of us don't get taught how to communicate effectively.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: When we go to school, we learn how to learn, we don't necessarily learn how to think.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: And at no point do we really get taught the power of effective language.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, there is no more important language than the language that you use with yourself, the way that you direct your brain, the way that you choose to think, and the way that you choose to communicate, because that is what is curating your external experience.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I was thinking about the clients that I'm going to be serving this week ahead of time.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: So I was thinking about them at the weekend.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I was thinking about the energy that different people come to the table with and how when they come to the table thinking that they have to sacrifice something versus the language that happens and the feelings that happen when they think about investing something, it's two very different outcomes.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to take you through some tangible ways for you to look at this so that you can be aware of where you're choosing sacrifice over investment, how you can literally transform the way that you show up for your goals, your dreams, your transformation by using this tiny shift, and also ensure that you have the ability to choose your words much more effectively for anything that you want to create in your life.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: So let's start with identity and self-concept.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: Because the words that we choose don't just describe the actions that we do, they really shape what we feel while we're doing them and who we believe where we are that we sorry, who we believe we are when we're doing them.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're telling yourself that you're sacrificing of the little bit of free time that you have to do this thing versus I'm investing this precious time that I have in this thing, can you see there's two different identities coming at that?
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's not just choosing different words, you're actually being different people in those two different choices.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: The identity shift happens here is that sacrifice often paints us at the victim, like, well, I don't really have a choice and I'm losing something because of doing that.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas when we go into the investment frame, it allows us to step into that place of empowered creator.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: I am making a choice because this other thing is actually really important to me.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: So that whole identity and self-concept is so important because something I've been telling my clients so much in the last week or so is we've heard that saying, if you want something different, do something different.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to rephrase that and say, if you want something different, I'm gonna be someone different.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's the someone that does the different thing consistently that gets the change that lasts forever.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: When we just do something different and we don't match that with an identity shift, oftentimes we end up falling back into the same patterns of behaviour and we invariably create the same results.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: So identity and self-concept is where we realize that in the choosing of our words, we're actually choosing a different self-concept.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: The next thing is the emotional and energetic state.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: So if you think about this, when you think about sacrifice and you get a picture of that in your brain, it feels like you're losing something.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: And who are you when you think you're losing something?
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: Do you get resentful?
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: Does it make you tired?
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: Do you get a little bit angry?
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: Does it kind of like rob you of your vava vum, your motivation?
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: Now let's flip the script on that.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: When you choose to use the word investment, is it fair to say that that picture is of you gaining something?
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: And when we believe we're working towards something meaningful where we're going to gain, that that actually amplifies our enthusiasm, our commitment, our persistence, our dedication, our discipline.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: And this is why language choice really matters for motivation because your body literally responds to those different cues.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: Every belief that you have has a picture associated with it, and that is going to determine how you feel when you're doing something.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: So changing your language is a huge like feeling state thing, it's a brain thing, it's a body thing.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so being able to kind of anchor into new energetic and emotional states by using language is quick and it's powerful and it's available to you right now.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: You haven't even got to wait for anything.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: How good is that?
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: And then we're looking at, we're adding on to that a little bit about the long-term sustainability.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: Sacrifice can feel really short term.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: Who wants to spend their life constantly in sacrifice?
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: You're going to have to rely so heavily on willpower.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: You're going to feel like you're constantly in a state of discomfort.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: Without that reframe away from sacrifice, it's always going to feel like you're at this kind of like you're this martyr.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's like carrying weight and resistance.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's going to feel so much harder for you to keep creating something new.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: Now, investment, on the other hand, you know that this is far more sustainable because it keeps you connected to the reason that you're doing it.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: It keeps you connected to your higher vision, to your purpose.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: It keeps reminding you why this is important to you.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm the person that wants this better health, this better relationship, more money in my business, more freedom, more choice.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like whatever it is, when you recognize that you're investing in that particular bank, it can buoy your motivation because you're framing it in a way that serves resourcefulness, you're framing it positively.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: And now let's look at the perception of the cost versus the return.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: Think about sacrifice.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: What does that word mean?
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: It implies that there is a loss.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: The focus is on what is lost.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Investment is a focus on what is gained.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: And when you choose the investment mentality, you're going to be able to ask yourself a really empowering question like, where else is this investment paying off?
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: When I cut down an alcohol, not only do I drop body fat, but I get more energy, I'm a nicer person around my family.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um I've got I'm more productive.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like you can choose to seek other ways of seeing your investment.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: And you can also realize that we've got compound interest, right?
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: So you can have a look at immediate gains as well as gains that you're going to create in the future.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: This is such a subtle mindset shift, but it really changes how we evaluate in our brain whether something is worth it.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why I always say to my clients, find some kind of short-term quick gain.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: So when we look for investment, we're going to be able to find that short-term quick gain to keep us to keep ourselves motivated towards moving on.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: It also allows us to create different uh language around self-trust and decision ownership.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: So when we say I'm investing in this, we're literally signaling, signaling, got my to put my teeth back in.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: We're signalling that we believe in our ability to make good choices and reap the benefits of that.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: This in itself is going to reinforce that commitment energy because it's self-led rather than obligation-led.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: When you think about sacrifice, you feel more obligated.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: When you feel like sacrifice, you feel like you have less choice.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: And you feel like sacrifice, you're feeling like a victim or a martyr.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: But that self-trust and decision ownership is because you are choosing to find the investment every single day.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: So I want you to think about how you can create your own language audit.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: Listen to the words that you use on the like daily.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: Now, you probably know this already, but I'm going to remind you.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: You have about 95% of the same thoughts every single day.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: Repetitive thoughts every single day.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: And over 80% of those, if you don't choose otherwise, are going to be negative in their bias.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: If we have 95% of thoughts, 80% of which are negative, and you don't change that, what do you think your life's going to be creating?
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: Using your language as the first point of call to create a new future is simple.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: You can start it now, you don't need any training, and it is absolutely life-transforming.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: So listen to the words that you use every day, not just with big decisions, but with everyday ones, and with the language that you speak to the people that you love, and with the language of the people that you work with, and most importantly, that language that you use with yourself over and over again.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: Simple swaps like I have to to I choose to.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: Something where you say, like, I'm giving up on this versus I'm creating space for, I'm losing, I'm gaining, I'm sacrificing, I'm investing.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: Get curious about how you can just very simply use this tiny shift to create big change by changing your language.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: Because changing your language is a full-body experience.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: This doesn't just happen in your brain.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you enjoyed this super short episode of the Seeking Simplicity Podcast.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: And if you did, please, please, please, I would love for you to subscribe.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: I would love even more if you could leave me a short review and help me reach more people.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: And please do share away on social media and tag me.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I will speak to you again in the next episode of the Seeking Simplicity Podcast.