Latest / Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage / Dark

Transcript

Dark · Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage

0:01
Oh, God. Oh, my God. Dark was filmed in 2013
0:30
and released in 2014 under the title Dying of
0:34
the Light. The film was taken from me after the
0:36
first director's cut, re -edited, scored and
0:39
mixed without my input. I offered to revisit
0:42
the film, cut and mix a new version at my own
0:45
expense, but was denied permission by the producers.
0:49
This cut was created using work print DVDs. I
0:52
had no access to the original high -res footage
0:54
and unmixed sounds. I used those limitations
0:56
to my advantage when creating this new film.
0:59
I was working toward a more aggressive editing
1:01
style when Dying of the Light was taken away
1:03
from me. Dark represents the direction I was
1:05
hoping to go. Dark was not created for exhibition
1:08
or personal gain. It is for historical record.
1:17
Yeah, Nick and I are having a little sake. Kanpai.
1:22
I got, uh, Ooh, I got a freem Japanese lager.
1:27
Hey, perfect. You're very on theme. Jenna, what
1:30
are you drinking? Nothing. Coward. Uh, nature's
1:33
finest, which means something different in Michigan
1:36
than Washington. Just water. It's it's 10 o 'clock,
1:40
man. I'm in college. I should be drinking a beer
1:43
then I guess, but Hey, you know, that ladle,
1:46
that ladle really, you know, slow you down. Oh,
1:50
I feel it straight straight to the nipples, just
1:53
like this movie. That's where you felt it. That's
1:56
not where I felt it. Where did you feel it? In
2:00
my sadness bones, mostly. That's what I call
2:03
my penis. Yeah, your sadness bone. OK, so for
2:07
everyone who's listening, this is our second
2:09
time recording this episode. We had some tech
2:10
issues, so we're back and this time funnier than
2:14
before. i don't know what you're talking about
2:16
i've completely blocked any memory of this out
2:18
of my brain so as far as i'm concerned this is
2:20
the first time this is also true for most of
2:22
our records like i'll forget something we talked
2:26
about like three days previously about a movie
2:28
i had just watched do you have frontotemporal
2:32
dementia i might oh topical um I was going to
2:38
watch it again because I had so much time and
2:41
this is a tidy 75 minutes. And then I was like,
2:44
why the fuck would I do that? So I just let it
2:46
run because I was so afraid my audio would fuck
2:49
up again. I wanted to leave it in my headphones.
2:51
So I watched maybe half an hour of it while I
2:55
listened to Outkast and danced around. It is.
3:01
Happy birthday. What's the album? Aquamini? Oh,
3:04
yeah. It came out, yeah, on this day. What year
3:09
is it? 2026? The year of our Lord, 2026. Yeah.
3:13
I'm not going to math it out. But that's how
3:16
I decided artist storytelling part two would
3:20
have been the perfect needle drop for the end
3:21
of this movie. Oh, interesting. I should have
3:25
thought about that more. Well, I watched it a
3:28
second time. i'm impressed that you did and i
3:31
watched it in normal speed like i watch every
3:35
film wow look at you wait do you what speed do
3:39
you normally watch normal speed i can i can really
3:44
actually get through a movie at about two and
3:46
a half speed and and grok it like pretty well
3:50
like i'm i'm following for the most part like
3:52
but how do you follow the emotion i'm not following
3:56
the emotion but some of the ones that i do at
3:58
that speed don't have that that's that's not
4:02
how you process your emotions the movie we watched
4:05
uh with laurence fishburne which one was that
4:07
bringing out the dead no no oh sorry running
4:10
with the devil yeah running with the devil yeah
4:12
similar similar concept when we recorded that
4:15
one uh my friend kindra was on kindra forgot
4:18
we were recording that day so an hour before
4:20
record we came in here and watched that shit
4:21
at two and a half times speed and she did great
4:23
yeah there you go She got the feel of that movie
4:27
real quick. I slowed it down for the important
4:29
bits, mostly when the sex workers had their tops
4:31
off. Wait, who was the black guy in Bringing
4:34
Out the Dead? Ving Rhames. Oh, yeah, Ving Rhames.
4:38
Ving Rhames. Oh, yeah. What a babe. I said it,
4:43
then I was worried that I was wrong. I'm like,
4:44
oh, I'm going to look very sick. You did a good
4:46
shot. Don't worry. It's a fine. You didn't call
4:48
him Lawrence Fishburne. Yeah. Yeah, Larry Fish
4:52
and Ving Rhames have very different vibes. speaking
4:55
of speaking of uncomfortable things i wish i
4:57
could forget um welcome back to cage magical
4:59
and around about way of meeting nicholas cage
5:01
we weren't gonna get there i just needed to get
5:04
i just want this good enough this is round two
5:07
anyway go for it good enough is what i come here
5:09
for uh i'm forced transitions are fucking stupid
5:12
i i think go on peter cuts peter cuts me to shit
5:17
anyway Not anymore. Never the parts where you're
5:20
wrong. Yeah, doubled. Only whenever I'm right.
5:24
Which is always. I'm here with, I'm Sean. I'm
5:28
here with my co -host. I'm Nick. And our producer.
5:32
Peter, hello. And we have special guest. Super
5:36
special. For the first time. For the first time
5:38
ever on microphone. Thirsty friend of a friend
5:43
who begged her way onto this podcast because
5:45
we have. never met, and I just now figured out
5:48
who goes with who. Three white dudes with glasses.
5:52
I just learned your names. Sean's right. Nice
5:55
to meet you. Hey, you know what? That's the half
5:59
that got me into college. Actually, no. It was
6:03
the other half that got me into college. That's
6:05
probably true. It certainly wasn't my Italian
6:09
half. I'm the swarthy one in that most of my
6:13
buttons don't seem to work. you're italian too
6:16
so who are you uh like i said thirsty friend
6:21
of a friend um basically your friend and my friend
6:25
who's been on this podcast i think five times
6:28
we gave him the fist well named uh he introduced
6:35
me to the cast and i listened to it uh and i
6:38
was immediately hooked by the concept because
6:40
i love nicholas cage and i just begged to be
6:43
on it and then i think i had an unknown trial
6:46
he sent me a text and apparently uh i responded
6:50
funnily enough and he showed it to you guys and
6:53
then i was uh approved sight unseen and then
6:56
what we did was give you one of the worst movies
6:59
yeah you sure did i do have to say i am impressed
7:04
in that i think the first person who's ever asked
7:06
to be on our podcast No, that can't be true,
7:11
but it is. It's fewer and far between. Usually
7:14
we are the ones being like, would you? Yeah.
7:17
I mean, how do you normally select guests? Is
7:20
it just friends? Is it fans? I usually just get
7:23
like a good erection and kind of point it somewhere
7:25
like a dousing rod. That's nice. That's nice.
7:28
Yeah. What's a dousing rod? Are you not familiar
7:30
with a dousing rod? oh man it's like if you if
7:33
you're trying to find water in like old times
7:35
you want to get wet if you want to get wet you
7:38
get wet stick yeah you gotta get wet stick it's
7:40
like a y shape it's a dousing rod kind of hold
7:43
it by your hips give it to ben shapiro's wife
7:45
and then you uh you you find yourself some water
7:48
and the the rod goes down when you're close to
7:51
getting wet yeah and dig there it's it's how
7:55
people used to dig wells yeah I imagine they
7:58
were wrong. Or it was just like a big joke. I
8:03
bet we had more water back then. There was probably
8:05
more water. Before fucking Utah. Fuck. Golf courses.
8:12
My search history can't get weirder than this
8:15
fucking movie, so we'll throw dowsing rod in
8:17
and see where it goes. For those of us just joining
8:20
us, we are discussing dowsing rods. talking about
8:27
dick tech dick tech we are talking about the
8:30
movie dark the uh unofficial director's cut of
8:36
dying of the light by paul schrader uh which
8:38
he didn't have the official like he didn't have
8:41
the dailies like this is a rough cut he did based
8:44
on like a screener dvd Yeah, so like the basic
8:48
idea of this is that he signed a bad contract
8:51
and he's like a notoriously bad to work with
8:53
director. Like he's an auteur or whatever. He
8:56
wrote some pretty good movies. His directorial
8:59
stuff, pretty fucking bad. But he like clearly
9:03
didn't read whatever the contract was for this
9:05
movie that was going to be straight to video
9:07
on demand. You know, regardless, it was never
9:09
going to be a theatrical release. So they they
9:12
take it away from him because he's. up his own
9:15
ass um and then they decide to release it without
9:20
his final cut nick cage and anton yelchin are
9:23
like we don't you know we support artists like
9:26
we're not into this you know nonsense we don't
9:28
approve the the cut dying of the light and then
9:31
they made through as sean pointed out like dvd
9:36
cuts that he had that were like dailies you know
9:40
like random stuff where the audio is all messed
9:42
up the video is not particularly good it's not
9:44
all that well you know color corrected anything
9:47
and they cobbled together this movie as his original
9:53
intended vision which movie doing a lot of heavy
9:57
lifting yeah could never possibly have been the
10:02
original intended vision because he just didn't
10:05
have everything no yeah And no access to reshoots.
10:09
The editing wasn't aggressive enough. Yeah. They
10:12
needed to give him like $50 million so he could
10:14
Zack Snyder that shit. I would just add super
10:17
slow -mo to everything. I want neither of those
10:19
things. Yeah. Make it five hours long. I want
10:24
that. What we ended up with was... We can get
10:27
into what was left in and what was chopped out.
10:30
Thankfully. It is a shorter movie. The original
10:32
movie is a 90 -minute type movie. It's not great,
10:36
but it's... a vod movie and then we got a 75
10:40
minute artist frankenstein this is fucking frankenstein
10:46
together this is a raggedy ass movie for a video
10:48
on demand movie this one had a lot less penetration
10:50
than i'm used to okay so i talked about this
10:55
the last time we recorded but like i actually
10:57
kind of liked both versions of this movie like
11:00
i don't think that the plot line is bad like
11:02
it's kind of interesting it's a cia agent who's
11:05
losing his mind because of a degenerative brain
11:07
disease that's worse than alzheimer's so he's
11:11
a unreliable narrator which is you know can be
11:14
a lame tactic for a movie but it's set up that
11:18
way from the beginning so you know that you can't
11:20
trust what this guy's thinking and saying He's
11:23
going up against his rival terrorists who is
11:26
now an old decrepit fuck with a blood disease.
11:30
But he thinks he's like still an active terrorist.
11:33
So like in theory, the concept of this is good.
11:38
You know, it's a guy chasing a ghost. I mean,
11:41
I don't even like he's not even I don't even
11:42
think he thinks he's active. He's just he wants
11:44
personal revenge because he was tortured by his
11:46
dad. That's probably true, too. Which they're
11:48
basically working in mirrors for each other.
11:51
No, right. I mean, Lake still thinks he's he's
11:55
trying to get off the desk like that's how we
11:57
need him. He's like, put me back in the field,
11:59
even though the CIA director is completely aware
12:03
of the fact that he's losing his fucking mind.
12:05
Right. Because he's been trying to be sneaky,
12:07
but is not. Yeah. Yeah. And they try and like
12:10
give him a respectful like out the door and,
12:13
you know, keep his good name. And it's like.
12:16
his pension and his benefits and he we get we
12:19
get a good yeah we get a good nick cage rant
12:22
out of it yeah freak out oh his recruitment rant
12:25
i mean that's how we open with him talking to
12:28
new recruits right uh was is that where he drops
12:31
his first slur help me out no his slurs come
12:34
later um what what were those slurs no we'll
12:39
get there because they that's one of the few
12:41
things that paul schrader put back into this
12:43
movie yeah He added in a couple of slurs. He
12:46
removed arguably the worst scene, but also my
12:50
favorite scene, which is at the end of the movie
12:52
where Nick Cage is like a weird badass for two
12:54
seconds. But the horniest of the scene. Yeah.
12:58
The one where he fucks with his pants on. I never
13:02
disrobe before a gunfight. Now, see, that's the
13:08
trouble with this movie. It's such a fever drain
13:10
that for a second I was like, wait, I don't remember
13:12
that scene. And then flash, flash of the belt
13:17
knife. I have hallucinated the ending to a movie
13:21
before, and I made a better ending. You did.
13:25
Than whatever piece of shit we were watching.
13:28
What one was that? What was it? It was the one
13:30
with the exploding Jessica Biel, wasn't it? Oh
13:33
my God. Because I totally forgot the end of it.
13:36
I still don't remember the end of it now. Certainly
13:38
not Blade Trinity, right? Or is it the airplane
13:40
movie, Stealth? No. You mean Knowing? We only
13:45
talk about Nick Cage movies. I haven't seen many
13:47
other movies. I don't know. I don't know how
13:50
broad of a brush I'm painting with. We were discussing
13:52
Knowing. No, it wasn't Knowing, it was Next.
13:56
Next? Con Air. Con Air. Right, so Knowing is
14:00
the one with the airplane. So Left Behind. Yes,
14:02
okay. Knowing, Left Behind, Con Air. Con Air.
14:06
You could make a case that Wicker Man has an
14:09
airplane theme, because they have to use that.
14:11
airplane to get there and also the seaplane guy
14:13
gets killed and he has to go get there and try
14:17
and find shit it's a stretch we're really struggling
14:20
we'll throw it in there just a pad the point
14:23
of the story is when we did next when I described
14:26
the ending Nick was like what the fuck are you
14:28
talking about because Nick completely like static
14:30
brained out the last 10 minutes and I gave you
14:33
a better ending and everybody agreed it was a
14:35
better ending I don't remember it that way but
14:38
you're probably correct And that I don't remember
14:40
anything that episode. Pull it up. We're doing
14:44
a clip show. That episode is my favorite because
14:47
Peter loses his fucking shit. That is my favorite.
14:51
Yeah. The D &D episodes are really solid. But
14:55
if I want to, like, make myself laugh about me
14:58
laughing, that one is really solid. OK, so this
15:02
movie, like, OK, plot line. Do we want to talk
15:04
plot line? Does it matter? No one's going to
15:07
fact check our asses if we just make up this
15:10
whole quote. I think I can get through it real
15:12
quick. Okay, Nick. Hit us. Okay. Fugue state.
15:15
Take us through. So, Nicolas Cage plays Evan
15:18
Lake, who is a CIA guy, but he's behind a desk
15:23
because once upon a time, he was captured and
15:27
tortured by a terrorist in Benghazi or some shit.
15:31
Benghazi. And they got him real good. Snipped
15:37
his ear. Yeah, but then in the extraction, there
15:39
was an explosion. Everybody thinks that Beneers,
15:42
the terrorist, is dead. Except for Evan Lake.
15:46
He does not believe. Because he never saw the
15:48
head. He's not a believer. I, too, like looking
15:53
at head. Then he... Don't force it. What does
16:00
cum do? The head's always forced. And the cum?
16:04
No. i can't i can't stop that you guys are doing
16:07
it wrong nope should be coming to you just slaps
16:10
right out um all right this is going to turn
16:13
into a real circle jerk let's keep it on hey
16:16
you said you've listened to our podcast before
16:19
you just sit there in your little round two your
16:21
college cuck chair and you just watch us record
16:24
before i mute you um wow that got dark OK, but
16:31
I got distracted. I can't remember where I was.
16:34
I got brain disease. Evan Lake's got brain disease.
16:38
And the doctor said, hey, you're going to be
16:42
worthless. And then he's like, well, I'm not
16:46
going to tell my boss. So he pretends like nothing
16:50
happened. But then they're like, oh, call in
16:52
the doctor. And the doctor is like, hey, I told
16:54
you to come by before you're worthless. And they're
16:58
like, we're going to let you go. before you are
17:02
embarrassing to us uh like like the new bay of
17:06
pigs or something and so they he like shits the
17:11
bed he's like no i'm not gonna do it because
17:13
i have this ftd that makes me angry so i'm gonna
17:16
have a fit yeah you're all up obama's ass Yeah,
17:19
Obama's ass. So far up his ass so you can see
17:22
his shit. Yeah, Benghazi. I think that's where
17:25
he says Benghazi. He says he's not going to take
17:29
any drugs like SSRIs because he says that's for
17:32
crazies. That's not who I am! As he's showing
17:35
us. So he gets laid off. Unceremoniously. Quite.
17:40
And then later he's at like a fucking Ruby Tuesday's
17:47
like doesn't know why or how and milt is like
17:52
hey man i got something that came across my desk
17:54
let me talk at you right milt by anton yelchin
17:56
oh yeah anton yelchin r .i .p uh with bad hair
18:00
i don't like it at all it's very distracting
18:02
but yeah it's like a weird sort of like are you
18:04
there nobody's got the real hair shoot i have
18:07
a question about drinking out of ruby tuesdays
18:10
okay oh let's just let me dip into my anecdotal
18:13
experience i just like i i go into like you go
18:16
to a place like that and you Like, over in Olive
18:18
Garden, you know that that's somebody's local
18:21
bar. so okay yeah a ruby tuesdays is a weird
18:27
spot to have be your local bar yeah i agree with
18:30
that none of you are from the midwest it's showing
18:33
right off the bat i am i i also like worked at
18:36
a chili's for a long time i know exactly what
18:38
these things are it's a weird spot former hostess
18:41
at a tgr friday is it i have a i have a friend
18:44
out here who was living he at one point he was
18:46
living the midwest for a couple years just for
18:48
work and he was like i'm gonna make like I'm
18:53
going to make Friday's my neighborhood bar. Cause
18:56
it was like, and he was near it. He's like, I
18:58
went there twice. I saw the same guy there. And
19:00
I'm like, no. Yeah. So, so what's your question?
19:04
Just like, why is it your regular bar? Why would
19:07
anyone make that their regular bar? Oh, I mean,
19:10
it's truly a convenience issue because I mean.
19:13
There's great dive bars, of course, usually,
19:16
that are better haunts, but in the end, it's
19:18
what's close and you become a creature of habit.
19:21
I mean, once your bartender knows your drink
19:23
and it's waiting for you by the time you get
19:26
there. You can also get blasted at a TGI Fridays
19:28
or a Ruby Tuesdays or a Chili's for like $25.
19:33
Yeah, it's pretty cheap. I imagine. Not anymore.
19:37
Well, I haven't been to one in like a decade.
19:39
I don't know. I got pretty fucked up at an Applebee's
19:41
not terribly long ago. Just fun. I stayed at
19:47
my first McMinimins for a little staycation a
19:49
couple weeks ago. Oh, McMinimins is great. And
19:51
I'm like, no McMinimins is great. They're fine.
19:54
They're a solid 70%. I mean, I've been there
19:57
once, and so it remains great and untouched and
20:00
frozen in time. I was staying there, so I drank
20:03
in the bar in the building, and I'm looking around,
20:07
and I'm just like, This place has like these
20:10
these people are just here to drink. People came
20:12
to the edge of town where I'm sure there are
20:16
bars to drink at a McMinimins. Like this is this
20:19
is this makes me sad. Yeah. See, it's not shocking
20:23
to me because that's the water I'm swimming in
20:25
both right now in Kalamazoo, Michigan. And it's
20:27
a lot of what I grew up with. I mean, I just
20:30
spent the last five years in Seattle. So it's
20:34
just different strokes, you know. Speaking of
20:36
strokes. Let's finish this plot before I do.
20:40
Nope. Even when I lived right behind the Queen
20:43
Anne McMinimins, I would walk multiple blocks
20:48
further to drink elsewhere. Where would you go?
20:51
Aussies? No. What was that? It's now the Streamliner.
20:57
It's green. Oh, Streamline Tavern? Yeah. It was
21:02
that. Yeah, so what it used to be started with
21:05
a T. tgi fridays what tgi fridays that's it yeah
21:12
you got it we got back i forgot about that lower
21:15
queen and tgi fridays so anton yelchin just comes
21:19
in and he's like hey this guy needs some waffles
21:22
and then he proceeds to be like hey uh like years
21:27
ago i was just putting out feelers looking for
21:31
this medical thing and somebody finally bit and
21:35
then they go through it and it's like oh it could
21:37
be oh it could be family history but here's has
21:40
like a dumb disease now they cut he basically
21:43
has like mediterranean anemia yeah basically
21:46
yeah wait they they show him googling it we get
21:50
the name um did you all catch yeah that's it
21:55
i looked it up i can't believe i remembered that
21:57
Hey, no frontotemporal dementia here, bitch.
22:00
So is Mediterranean anemia just like you don't
22:04
have enough olive oil in your blood system? Olive
22:06
oil. He's going to make an olive oil joke. Yeah.
22:09
I'm a simple man. I go for the easy ones. I know.
22:15
I got this whole podcast thing happening. Why
22:18
his eyes are so like wide set. It's so I can
22:23
keep an eye out for predators. Sean, shut up.
22:26
You know this hot piece of ass is just constantly
22:29
being grabbed on? Look for predators. Oh, God.
22:34
Yeah, he's got too much or not enough olive oil.
22:38
Not enough olive oil. So he needs medicine. They
22:40
find him because of the medicine. They track
22:42
it all down to some doctor. Somebody requests
22:45
the medicine. That's how they find out, right?
22:49
Yelkin tracks the request for this. medicine
22:52
and the reason it has flown under the radar so
22:54
long is because the doctor who is requesting
22:58
it uh is a researcher so he's like using the
23:01
guise of it being experimental treat he's just
23:03
doing research on experimental treatment but
23:06
in actuality he's getting these drugs and getting
23:08
them to veneer who's in like a safe house yeah
23:11
no that's good because the beginning of the movie
23:13
one of the things that ask you on this show to
23:15
talk usually we make you do this part but um
23:20
I'm just going to keep chugging my olive oil.
23:23
That way you don't get blood diseases. The movie
23:27
starts with this, like, he's supposed to be Kenyan,
23:31
but he's clearly not. And he jumps off of a bridge
23:34
and they end up catching his, you know, thumb
23:37
drive or whatever. It's full of porn and, you
23:39
know, prayers. In Romania. Porn and prayers.
23:43
As it is, you know. And also this, like, information
23:48
about this drug. So that's what gives the initial
23:51
red flag that gets the whole ball rolling. Yeah.
23:55
So they go to Romania to go talk to this doctor.
23:58
Right. And then there's the second like shitty
24:00
cut scene. And I didn't talk about the first
24:03
one, so I won't talk about the second one anymore.
24:05
And consistent is the cut scene. What are you
24:09
talking about? I talked about it in the last
24:11
episode. I'm not doing it twice. Oh. Just like
24:14
the time I karate chopped Dustin. I'm not talking
24:17
about that again tonight. It was so good, though.
24:21
I was truly in disbelief at that story. Oh, no.
24:25
I live a wild life. And it turns out you can
24:29
karate chop a person one time and make them pass
24:32
out. You probably do need to just tell that story.
24:37
Well, no, we'll talk about it when we get to
24:39
the bathroom scene. I'll let somebody else try
24:41
to remember and tell my story for me. Yeah, why
24:44
don't you let all of us together each take a
24:47
sentence? We're going to wash them on this thing.
24:49
Yeah, I could go in the other room. You guys
24:51
could speculate and then present me with what
24:54
your theory is. So Nick killed a child. He was
24:57
also a child. So that's it. Nailing it so far.
25:01
Done. Okay, so then they're like, oh, we got
25:04
to go to Romania. And it's like, well, it's going
25:07
to take a couple of days for bathrooms. Okay,
25:09
exposition. Also, shit, my ex -girlfriend lives
25:11
there. yeah oh shucks oh no my contact wait what
25:16
do you guys remember how yelkin asked him he's
25:18
like do you two have a history and he's like
25:19
don't ask and like that's all we find out pretty
25:23
much which actually i kind of like that i kind
25:26
of like the economy of that storytelling i don't
25:29
i don't need to know i mean also they didn't
25:31
have any sort of chemistry at all No, not a lick.
25:35
Him and Yelchin have more chemistry. That's hot.
25:38
I'd watch that. Oh, especially that scene when
25:41
Anton's like, so when are you going to do it?
25:45
Ethan's just like, or Evan's like, I don't know,
25:47
what are you talking about? Lean over this table,
25:49
kiss me. Give me that kiss. Give me a mouth stuff.
25:53
Oh, fucking Anton. Get a screen grab of that.
25:58
So they go out there to Romania and Nicolas Cage
26:01
gets told not to smoke. And he has a fit. And
26:05
then Anton's cool. Best line. This whole country's
26:08
a smoking section. And then he puts his cigarette
26:11
out in his water, which is always gross to me.
26:14
But that's irrelevant. I drank bong water once.
26:18
That's my karate chapter kid anecdote. On purpose?
26:23
Yeah, I was 12. You get up to trouble fast in
26:28
the Midwest. were you just like looking for a
26:30
drink and you're just like i'll just drink out
26:32
of this vase or did someone like uh no my older
26:36
sister and her friends were high and they were
26:39
like taking bong rips and uh they were like we
26:42
dare you to drink the bong water and i was 12
26:45
and i was like okay nice nice when i was 12 i
26:49
almost burned down my neighbor's garage so i
26:51
mean i think you did better see that's pretty
26:54
we all make weird choices for peer approval in
26:56
middle school i blamed my 40 year old neighbor
26:58
for burning the juniper bush in front of our
27:01
house when i was like four good job no i set
27:06
that thing on fire hard i believe it did did
27:09
did your pin stick on him though No. Turns out
27:13
my parents did not believe that Jim was burning
27:16
our juniper bushes for no reason. They thought
27:20
it was a sign from the Lord. Wait, so what happens
27:25
next after he puts his cigarette out in that
27:27
water? Well, Anton goes to bed and then there's
27:30
kissing. Nick Cage gives a bad kiss. And then
27:33
he goes to bed and Anton's like, don't worry
27:36
about me. I wasn't awake or I wasn't asleep while
27:39
he's laying on the bed. It's like, well, that's
27:42
a weird just if you want to if you want to have
27:44
a family, don't put it off. Just cryptically,
27:48
he says. There's so much that must have been
27:50
edited out that I have no desire to try to figure.
27:55
I can tell you. So I watched both of these movies
27:58
back to back on Friday. So I. did see the differences
28:04
between the two movies and you do not get a lot
28:07
of extra stuff in dying of the light you also
28:09
don't get anything extra that's worthwhile for
28:13
the most part in dark so they both are kind of
28:17
bad for their own reasons in an additive and
28:19
subtractive way sell it so yeah well maybe we
28:23
should run through the rest of the plot but i
28:25
am really curious because i haven't seen uh dying
28:28
of the light but we're like 40 minutes in let's
28:30
let's hit this plot yeah what What the major
28:33
differences are. Yeah. Real soon. Okay. As soon
28:36
as I can get through some of the garbage, we'll
28:37
get to the plot. I will tell you the, the major
28:41
differences is that the psychological breakdown
28:44
shit is way more in dark. Like, I think that's
28:48
the thing that, that traitor maybe actually had
28:50
a good idea on. Well, that was my biggest critique
28:53
of dying of the light was like, we have a movie.
28:57
Well, like we have a movie where like the whole
28:59
premise of his disease is he will have wild mood
29:01
swings. And in Dying of Light, from what I remember,
29:04
the only mood swing we see is the cigarette scene.
29:08
The rest of the time, he's pretty tame. He has
29:11
a couple of other explosions, but none of them
29:13
are really that big. Yeah. He has the getting
29:16
fired scene, because he still makes a stink there.
29:19
Right. After the hotel, when he gets lost at
29:25
the hotel. Right. But that's not a very big one.
29:28
Yeah, it's not a loud kind of thing. Do they
29:31
use the shots of blood and brain and that voiceover
29:36
as a way to convey? They don't at all? They explain
29:41
that diegetically. They just have the doctor
29:44
tell them what's going on. We don't need to hear
29:47
about the protagonist's brain is dying. Real
29:50
heavy -handed, Schrader. You know, they never
29:54
tell me when the audience tuned out. The audience
29:57
has checked out. you can see him leaning back
30:01
after about smoking weed one minute they do they
30:04
have any kind of introduction that's as explicit
30:08
as the one in this movie that like contextualizes
30:11
the whole thing because we get this like fucking
30:13
star wars text that just rolls in i recorded
30:16
it earlier before you got here oh good yeah but
30:20
so i think the thing about like the the brain
30:22
stuff is that they show a lot more in dark about
30:25
like this this idea of like fucking sound and
30:29
time skipping and all this like it's going through
30:32
his torture and those flashbacks and everything
30:34
even this is you know 20 something years later
30:37
whatever his brain is falling apart those things
30:40
where he like breaks down listening to a doctor
30:42
and then calls him the wrong name and then forgets
30:44
it and forgets it and forgets it like those are
30:46
amplified in dark whereas in dying the light
30:48
it's kind of like he's being weird right now
30:50
but they're not doing anything with it there's
30:53
not even like a sound cue i did like the visual
30:56
cue in dark of like he'd be having a conversation
31:00
and the audio wouldn't necessarily be synced
31:02
up with the visuals like there'd be dialogue
31:05
of talking and no one's lips were moving. Which
31:07
I also was wondering if that was intentional
31:10
or just what they had with footage. I'll take
31:13
it. At this point, I'll take anything this movie
31:14
gives me that's, you know, somewhat clever. I
31:17
mean, it's interesting. Yeah, that's what I feel
31:20
like there was a nugget of an idea there, right?
31:23
Like you mentioned the reliable narrator, which
31:25
is a super common trope. And I thought maybe
31:29
he was going to do something interesting with
31:30
the fact that that reliability is not just contingent
31:33
on the disease. We have him fucking drinking
31:36
in several parts of the movie. We have the fact
31:41
that he's fucking riddled with PTSD. Any reason
31:44
he could be unreliable, right? Any of those things,
31:47
not just his disease. So I was like, oh, there's
31:50
layers to this. Maybe we'll peel some back and
31:52
we'll get some interplay. And then I just felt
31:55
like I was trying to fucking force meaning. out
31:58
of it and then we get that awesome uh ending
32:00
uh we'll talk about the end oh i still have like
32:04
35 minutes of movie to describe to describe well
32:07
before that we're going to talk about a slur
32:09
oh yeah slur slur slur slur slur oh yeah one
32:14
of the few things i mean one of the few things
32:17
that was actually added into this movie was nick
32:20
cage at ruby tuesday saying raghead like three
32:24
times in a row for no reason you know he's like
32:28
i'm actually kind of a fan of the ragheads you
32:30
know it's like oh my god all right why are you
32:32
saying there's too many of them god like uh why
32:36
don't we just speed run to the inevitable confrontation
32:39
like we know they're in kenya and uh nick cage
32:44
is undercover after what i was hoping would have
32:46
been a longer makeover scene he disguises himself
32:49
as the doctor that is originally supposed to
32:51
meet with veneer's guys and bring him this medicine
32:56
uh did you ever watch clone high what's clone
33:00
high oh yeah the cartoon with like the abraham
33:03
lincoln clone and like yeah yeah and everything
33:06
there's one episode that's a gandhi was such
33:10
a bitch there was a makeover episode but anytime
33:12
i hear makeover now i just hear the makeover
33:14
song makeover makeover makeover makeover makeover
33:19
makeover I have no reference point for this.
33:22
When was this created? Oh, 2002. I don't know.
33:27
Oh, we did. We forgot to mention when Milton
33:31
Milton Schultz murders a dude in broad daylight.
33:36
Yeah, he fucking just and there's like people
33:38
in that alley too when he fucking slits his throat.
33:41
It doesn't matter. It's Romania. It's Romania.
33:42
You can't smoke inside anymore. Yeah. but you
33:45
can't smoke inside can't call people gypsies
33:49
what the fuck are we even supposed to do in romania
33:52
i think it's travelers now we get to say slurs
33:55
on this episode peter started it that's why i'm
33:59
here only i'm only gonna say a slur if it's part
34:02
of the movie so so am i they were in romania
34:05
i'm only gonna get to say i'm only saying slurs
34:07
if i get to direct them at sean is it nick that
34:11
one's nick that one's you don't know who's i
34:13
don't fucking know I can't. You're all blending
34:15
together like Cerberus. Nick's the one in the
34:18
pretty blouse. Also, like... Sean's the one with
34:21
the... That is. The video chat has names on it.
34:26
Does it? Not my name. Bold of you to assume someone
34:29
who teaches the children literacy knows how to
34:32
read. Yeah, it's a big reach. Well, the kids
34:34
don't read so good, so this explains a lot. Okay,
34:37
so Yelchin's killed a guy in broad daylight.
34:40
They're now in Kenya. Nick Cage has had a makeover
34:42
makeover. It was just the guy that was supposed
34:45
to shuttle the doctor back. Yes, exactly. Makeover.
34:51
I just want to be part of it. Thank you for finishing,
34:54
Jenna. No accountability. Heard that before.
34:57
Like this podcast. Yeah, because the guy is supposed
35:00
to bring the doctor's family. So he's going to
35:05
bring him to Kenya. Yeah, because his wife's
35:07
Kenyan. So he's like, we're going to kill your
35:08
wife and her whole family. So they just they
35:11
figure the way they're going to get Evan Lake
35:14
to meet. But here is to disguise him with like
35:19
go to that pube beard and an ear cover for his
35:24
other prosthetic ear, which I really liked that
35:27
concept. I love when he takes it off and it's
35:29
like clearly just like, OK, this is the fake
35:34
ear now. And then later it's like, oh, that's
35:37
just your real ear. Yeah. Whole ear, real ear.
35:40
Wait, sorry. I know we're fucking limping through
35:42
this plot, but we forgot... It's a classic episode.
35:46
You've never heard one of our brief summaries?
35:50
No. You've been muted this entire time, actually,
35:53
for my own ears' sake. No, we forgot one of the
35:57
best lines of the whole movie, or best line deliveries,
36:00
when him and Yelkin are talking and... They're
36:03
talking about how he's going to kill Benir, right?
36:06
Because we know. We know that's the inevitable
36:08
end. And he goes, maybe I'll slice him and let
36:10
his blood wash over me. And then they just laugh.
36:13
God. And they have that fucking unhinged smirk
36:17
or cackling together. Do you guys remember that?
36:21
I don't know. I'm taking this off for reals.
36:24
You've been thinking about this a lot, haven't
36:26
you? Only once a day. I couldn't tell if that
36:29
was supposed to be, again, like... I had so much
36:31
trouble trying to tell what was distortion for
36:34
the sake of mimicking what's going on with Evan
36:37
Lake or if this is just a fuck -ass movie. I
36:39
think it's just a fuck -ass movie. It's mostly
36:41
a fuck -ass movie. I think I never got a very
36:45
strong impression of the unreliability of the
36:50
character's senses. There were only a few occasions
36:53
like with a phone ringing or something like that
36:56
where it felt like in the scene. we were actually
36:59
presented with him like being discombobulated
37:03
a lot of times it's like there's some confusion
37:06
but i never feel out of place that was actually
37:10
a tense scene oh yeah like when he's in the hotel
37:13
room like that's actually a tense scene when
37:15
he's in the hotel room with the phone that connects
37:18
to be here and like that they got off yeah the
37:20
dead guy's body and like evan's hearing a phone
37:23
ring and then like he picks it up and then milton
37:27
walks in the room there's no one there but it's
37:29
also presenting as if it's like the call to prayer
37:32
sound in the background but it's like as if someone
37:34
is there and speaking the distance like also
37:36
it's like did he just fuck up their entire operation
37:38
because right yeah so that was actually you know
37:41
thanks for reminding me of that actually good
37:43
scene yeah there was there was sprinkles in there
37:45
my favorite part of the movie fucking that sick
37:48
ass fur hat he's got when he's freezing his ass
37:50
off with this park bench i wasn't sure one of
37:52
those the fucking his I said, fuck ass fur hat.
37:57
That was a great fur hat. His bench scene is
37:59
interesting because he's very like childlike
38:02
in it. Yeah. Don't put a bib on me. I mean, well,
38:06
that's common with if you've ever had experience
38:08
with someone with any neuro, the cognitive decline,
38:11
right? Of a neurodegenerative disease. Nope.
38:14
That shit happens. When I wear layers, I just
38:17
start taking my clothes off. If I'm topless,
38:20
it means I've had a rough day. There was, there
38:23
was one scene that got cut. that was right around
38:25
this point where it's, it's been near and he's
38:29
just sitting in his like dialysis chair, like
38:31
hanging out. And then he calls over his like
38:34
second in command buoy. And he like pulls him
38:39
onto his lap and holds a knife at his throat.
38:42
And he's got these like disgusting teeth. He's
38:43
like, don't forget. I can still fuck you up,
38:46
bitch. Like, don't forget who I am. Who's the,
38:50
who's the rat, you know, that kind of thing.
38:52
And that was not in dark at all, which, probably
38:55
didn't need to be in there at all yeah well i
38:58
mean i enjoy the fact that with dark they are
39:00
both largely incompetent like they like uh i
39:06
mean they're both dying veneer is like veneer
39:11
is like cannot like he's stuck to a dialysis
39:13
machine he's stuck in a chair he can't do anything
39:15
he can't move so the big showdown in dark is
39:18
then lake confronting him at his home yeah pretending
39:22
to be a doctor Beats a guy up in the toilet.
39:25
Karate chops him out. Which apparently Nick did
39:28
as a child. I did it once. Was it a school bus?
39:32
Do you remember? No, it was in class. Oh, it
39:36
was science class. Yeah, it was middle school
39:37
science class. That's right. So Nick knocked
39:39
out a kid. Bus duty is chock full of slurs, man.
39:42
As soon as those kids get out of school. Oh,
39:44
I remember. I remember being on the bus. That's
39:48
where I learned all my good slurs. I'm going
39:50
to go hang out and pick up some new ones, I guess.
39:52
Yeah, go hang out on a school bus. You think
39:54
that's going to fly? If I just hang out? You
39:57
should do that. Find the closest school. I'll
40:00
wear a bald face wig. And just go crawl into
40:02
the back of the bus. Which is just a bald cap
40:04
for my lower face. I was going to say, when you
40:07
are shaved, you do look like a giant mutant third
40:10
grader. Gross. Except for my sweet, sweet grays.
40:15
Why is that six -year -old like... Five foot
40:17
eight and have cancer. How tall do you think
40:20
I am? I mean, aside from five foot eight, apparently.
40:23
I don't know. Based on just being able to see
40:26
you from the tits up, I'm going to say five nine.
40:29
Okay. Okay. My posture sucks. Yeah. Am I close?
40:34
I'm six one. Oh, all right. Sean is under your
40:40
five six. Exactly. Me too. Peter is. Five, ten.
40:48
Yeah. Good job. This guy owns a tape measure
40:52
and measures things regularly. You are able to
40:55
evaluate stuff. Where do you start from top or
40:58
bottom? I well, OK, clearly for personal records
41:03
top, but obviously. Now, man, you got to measure
41:07
from belly button up and then belly button down
41:10
and add them together. Oh, that's what we're
41:11
talking about. I think Sean and I are measuring
41:14
from the same. focal point same origin i measure
41:19
mine from that point too yeah okay yeah obviously
41:22
i measure from the back of my ball sack to the
41:24
crown of my head and then top of schlong down
41:28
every time sack to crown just like your father's
41:34
uh sack to crown god bless america uh take us
41:41
through this final fight we're at the ending
41:44
of dark and kiss they kiss they practically do
41:48
so honestly i wish like finally reveals he's
41:52
like look guess what it's me i'm not this doctor
41:56
and you're about to die and then veneer and he
41:59
have like this weird dissonant conversation where
42:03
veneer is just talking about how like all the
42:04
shit that he's done in his life hasn't really
42:06
mattered all the things that evan lake has done
42:08
don't really matter like they're just sort of
42:10
like inept old men he asks him where is your
42:14
backup which is i think a callback to when he's
42:17
in the doctor's office at the very beginning
42:18
and he's like giving him his diagnosis and he's
42:21
like you came alone you have no family here and
42:24
he's like my work is my family it's uh i think
42:27
there was more of his torture in dying of the
42:30
light yes they do show more of the torture i
42:34
think it calls back more to the questioning that
42:37
he was getting yeah because they were always
42:40
like oh we're who's coming to get you but who's
42:43
the informant he was disagree i like my answer
42:46
better it's more cerebral you never saw yeah
42:48
you never saw the source material actually that's
42:52
a good point you saw you're right and i'm not
42:54
gonna fucking watch it because it's gonna be
42:56
another way you saw schrader's true vision so
42:59
you understand this better than us yeah i mean
43:02
i'm the only one here without fucking glasses
43:04
so whose vision is truest so the the whole thing
43:08
sort of like devolves into like colors and noise
43:12
and repetitive sounds and it just sort of fades
43:17
into like static and then it ends and then there's
43:20
a little thing where it's like this was directed
43:22
and written by paul schrader and edited by this
43:24
one guy and then end credits it's like maybe
43:26
oh no they show his headstone too oh they do
43:30
show his headstone wait it's basically a fucking
43:33
seizure the end of this movie is a seizure and
43:36
then we see On a sunny, gorgeous, placid day,
43:41
we get a shot of his headstone. 1957 to 2014.
43:46
Heavenly. I'm curious, because I'm guessing he
43:51
went home at some point, or maybe none of that
43:55
actually happened. Maybe he just died in his
43:58
home, and he just got an honorable burial. I
44:01
have a hard time imagining if he died in... Kenya?
44:05
in kenya that like his body would be returned
44:08
and like given a proper like oh i mean yeah my
44:12
assumption is like whatever happened because
44:15
he was getting very oh my god i don't want to
44:17
talk about this movie uh whatever happened like
44:21
uh veneer was getting him super worked up kind
44:24
of triggering a lot of his like ptsd he was hearing
44:28
the songs that he was like singing or like they
44:32
would play i think is what it was they would
44:33
play this one like singing in the rain bullshit
44:36
or something or uh white christmas i don't know
44:39
fucking both songs suck where he had a little
44:41
lamb it wasn't that that's a banger um then like
44:45
from cradle to grave that's he just keeps repeating
44:48
like oh charles whatever whatever which was his
44:51
name his cover yeah his alias and like the company
44:55
he worked for and like all this other stuff and
44:58
he was just getting like really freaked out i
45:00
assume that he had either a stroke or a heart
45:06
attack or something during that like brain color
45:10
scene. And Milt came in and in my brain, Milt
45:16
Pops been here and then brings. Ah, get me out
45:20
of there. I don't want to go in there. Nope,
45:22
you're in there. Your brain. I knew exactly what
45:25
you meant. It's too late. so i mean i think that's
45:27
that's an interesting take overall because what
45:29
ends up happening in the original best director's
45:31
cut sorry sorry not the director's cut the original
45:34
studio cut is they he has this breakdown and
45:39
veneer sort of like fucks with his head enough
45:40
and then he runs out of there and is like i can't
45:44
handle this and then he and milt are just like
45:46
he's an old man he's gonna die anyway it doesn't
45:48
fucking matter and then there's this huge fucking
45:50
gunfight at a resort We're like a Kenyan kid
45:54
gets shot. There's like a lady who gets shot.
45:56
And then Nick Cage helps Yelchin after he gets
46:00
hit and shoots fucking Mumbui. And then just
46:05
shoots Mumbui all over the place. He does. And
46:07
then Mumbui. And then he goes back and confronts
46:11
Benir one more time. And my favorite part, he
46:16
kicks the fucking door down. As -salamu alaykum,
46:19
asshole. Yes. They then have like an old man.
46:23
sick body fight just like rolling around on the
46:25
ground somebody bites somebody's face and then
46:29
evan lake splits his finger into veneer's eyeball
46:35
and into his brain and that's the end of it and
46:39
he's like that's it bitch and he walks away and
46:41
then the next scene is them being like and evan
46:44
lake died i still appreciate how that how Dine
46:49
of the Light and Army of One more or less have
46:52
the same. So very similar vibes. Yeah, except
46:55
Gary lives. Yeah, Gary lives. Still tight. Jenna,
47:00
I'm assuming do yourself a favor and watch a
47:02
Dine or not Dine of Light. Yeah, watch Dine of
47:05
the Light. Army of One. Because it ends with
47:08
it ends with it ends with Dialysis Swordfight.
47:12
Dialysis Swordfight. Is that our band name? Yes,
47:15
that is our band name. So like, I mean, between
47:19
those two endings, like I, the, the one that
47:22
they showed for the VOD, I think was fun, but
47:27
it was stupid. It made no sense. None of these
47:29
characters were action heroes. The like hyper
47:32
violence of putting a finger into a guy's eyeball
47:35
into his brain is like way over the top for this
47:38
fucking movie. I think that only really plays
47:41
if you end the movie where it kind of starts
47:44
with him visiting his friend. Who's like, just,
47:47
a drooling vegetable right if you just like cut
47:49
to him in that place and like yelchin visited
47:52
him that's the only way the action and it's like
47:55
is he just fantasizing this yeah yeah that's
47:58
the only way the action ending plays as like
48:01
a viable yeah or i mean you could have made the
48:04
violence like hyper stylized i don't know that
48:07
would have been to me that would have taken a
48:09
budget i mean it could have just been cut into
48:12
their color scree that they had also like little
48:15
confusing flashes of it like maybe some rolling
48:19
on the ground and like alternating takes of like
48:22
people struggling either with them their own
48:25
diseases or like with each other and uh things
48:29
that kind of make you like even question at the
48:31
end like did one kill the other like what is
48:35
the outcome and like leave yourself still unsure
48:38
about it and then go to evan's fucking sad boy
48:42
graveyard right so i fucking hate paul schrader
48:47
i think he sucks yeah yeah so bad okay will you
48:52
guys tell me why he's such a fucking ding dong
48:54
because i like did a little bit of research but
48:57
i don't really know part of a lot of good things
49:00
that have been created yeah right he's a good
49:02
writer he's a good writer he's a good writer
49:04
i think he's a shitty driver and raging yeah
49:07
taxi driver raging bull um he's worked with a
49:10
lot of really amazing directors over the years
49:12
i just think that he's up his own ass and his
49:15
movies are not that good And he's just such a
49:18
fucking booer. There's a lot of people who are
49:21
up their own ass who make great art. I mean,
49:23
up your own assness is... Sometimes can be a
49:27
boon. But yeah, no, I just think he, like, what
49:30
he wants to tell as a story, nobody gives a shit
49:34
about. It just, it doesn't resonate. I don't
49:37
even remember the plot for Dog Eat Dog. They
49:40
like... i don't know willem defoe kills a kid
49:44
for some reason and then they're like that's
49:46
trying to rob the first two minutes yeah that's
49:49
true yeah they're trying to like rob some they're
49:52
trying to rob a gang it goes wrong And they all
49:57
kind of wind up turning on each other eventually.
49:59
Yeah, they're like in an abandoned building.
50:02
Nick Cage drops the N -bomb a lot. Yeah. Okay.
50:06
I think somebody said recently, like the Wikipedia
50:09
for it is like three guys have a very bad day
50:11
or something like that. It's like, yeah, all
50:13
right. I said it when we recorded this the first
50:16
time. There are very few things that I actually
50:17
care about that Paul Schrader has done. And one
50:22
of them is that in Making Dark. he like got it
50:25
released to like an archive but you can't really
50:27
go and see that if you're a regular person so
50:30
then he really pushed for it to go into torrenting
50:33
he's like pirate it pirate my movie and as far
50:37
as as far as i say like fuck companies i can
50:39
get behind that yeah that's good i you know i
50:41
appreciate it i am good on him that he got to
50:44
like make something he's proud of but i am very
50:47
much in the camp of you know you don't get to
50:51
own your art like your art especially especially
50:54
in a commercial field like you don't get to own
50:57
your art so it's one of those things where i'm
50:59
like you tried it didn't work move on make something
51:03
new don't don't wallow i agree with that um as
51:07
far as ownership goes from like an interpretation
51:09
standpoint right like once you make a thing and
51:12
you release it out into the world everyone else
51:15
is going to tell you what they think it means
51:16
and that's the fucking deal everyone's going
51:18
to tell you you're a racist no matter what you
51:20
do i mean i think there's a nugget of a good
51:23
idea again when you were like he made oh i don't
51:26
know i don't know why i'm trying to be generous
51:27
let's just have a bad faith fucking dunk fest
51:30
on this guy it's more fun he did also direct
51:33
cat people we talked about this last time but
51:36
cat people is oh yeah i gotta where can i find
51:39
cat people you can find it i i will send you
51:41
a link um we'll pirate it uh i do yeah he's pro
51:45
that I don't know. I think it's interesting because
51:47
you have a movie like this that is very... Pirate
51:49
his opus. Maybe he's too much of a boomer to
51:53
want that. That's true. He's like, pirate my
51:55
other shit. Not that one. He is in his, what,
52:00
late 60s or something? I don't know. I don't
52:04
know. I'm not doing any more... He looks like
52:07
he's 5 ,000 years old and about to turn into
52:11
dust. I'm not looking this motherfucker up anymore.
52:14
Go on. I mean, one nice charitable thing to say
52:16
about this movie, it's like it does pose a lot
52:18
of questions and it does pose a lot of interesting
52:20
ideas for a story that the brain will want to
52:26
like, you know, generously think are intentional.
52:29
So you start trying to find connections that
52:30
just aren't there. The source itself doesn't
52:33
really have the source itself doesn't necessarily
52:35
back any of it up. It's all just like headcanon
52:38
at a certain point. I mean, this is going to
52:41
sound. ridiculous but i don't give a shit you
52:43
all had me on twice in fact um so i'll i'll make
52:48
fools of you and me but like he's he's asking
52:52
questions that descartes was asking dare i say
52:56
it yeah i went off on a fucking tangent about
52:59
like tell us more well i mean the whole movie
53:03
is about you know how i feel about the french
53:05
Oh, I thought there was more. I was waiting for
53:07
you to tell us. Like they need to be karate chopped?
53:10
No, no. We established early on three things.
53:13
Peeps, Canada, or the French. And we don't talk
53:17
about that. Oh, yeah. Okay. I got to go back
53:19
to the Canada lore. I know the Peeps lore. But
53:23
okay. So he's basically asking, can we trust
53:25
our senses? Which is interesting on its face,
53:29
I think. I don't know. You guys don't need to
53:32
hear my fucking three pages on this shit. But
53:35
I do want to hear your, like, put a button on
53:37
this movie experience for you. Like, you watched
53:40
a very, very weird, fractured, bizarro Nick Cage
53:45
movie. Like, what did you think of it? I mean,
53:48
okay, so I told you, like, I picked up a pen
53:51
and I immediately started writing. Yeah, it kicked
53:54
off, like, a fever dream's worth of notes for
53:57
me about... Descartes questioned in the meditations
54:01
of like, can you trust the senses to really give
54:05
you an accurate picture of reality? And like,
54:08
can you trust a fact, a belief forming faculty
54:12
at all? Right. Cause there's another sort of
54:16
point in this movie about like, he's a fucking
54:19
died in the wool. Like he has drank the Kool
54:22
-Aid. He's an ex CIA guy. And can we trust him?
54:26
Not just because he's fucking. brain dead because
54:30
also because he's basically a cop yeah like thank
54:34
you man see i should just read from my notebook
54:37
it would come out a lot smoother um but yeah
54:39
so like in the end does it even matter if your
54:43
mental faculties are together can you trust a
54:46
faculty that's forming beliefs can you trust
54:49
your beliefs about beliefs so i went down this
54:51
fucking toilet of like my mind and just furiously
54:55
was writing So then I had a lot more appreciation
54:58
for this movie. But I'm not sure if it says more
55:01
about how I watch movies or how Schrader made
55:03
this. Because I just tend to be a really intense
55:06
consumer, even passively. So yeah, like I took
55:10
a bunch of notes. I made a whole playlist with
55:13
a lot of Prodigy, Chemical Brothers. Nice. Tierra
55:16
Whack. So this sparked something creatively for
55:20
me. So in that way, I will appreciate this movie.
55:23
And I will never, ever fucking watch it again.
55:26
uh which title for this film do you think is
55:31
better dying of the light or dark both are fairly
55:33
generic i have an easier time i have an easier
55:36
time finding dying of the light on uh on imdb
55:39
yeah you have to put in like dying of the light
55:41
director's cut otherwise you can tell he thought
55:45
he was edgier when he was like dark like my movie
55:49
but also this isn't so studio shit This movie's
55:53
dark. I appreciate a literary illusion in my
55:57
movie titles, right? Dying of the Light. But
56:00
I think they both suck. So neither. I think both
56:03
titles are trash. Yeah. I think they should have
56:06
just called it Tempo Obo. Tempo Obo. Tempo Obo.
56:10
Tempo Obo. Tempo Obo. Tempo Obo. Tempo Obo. Tempo
56:18
Obo. If I believed in slurs, this would be the
56:23
perfect time for one. We're not doing a slur.
56:27
I'm not doing slurs. We're going to edit yours
56:29
in from last time. Yeah. Turns out we recorded
56:32
that one slur. This was all a ploy just to get
56:36
that part. Everyone's going to be shocked when
56:39
we play it. Yeah. We already emailed your mom.
56:47
No, I'm not going to take us in that direction.
56:51
She's still got an AOL account, but my mother
56:54
is a fucking saint. I love moms. They got the
56:58
best emails. My family knows exactly what kind
57:02
of weird pervert I am, so they wouldn't be shocked
57:05
in the least. Guess what email hosting uh i see
57:11
a lot of in my line of work i work in senior
57:13
living marketing we get a lot of emails from
57:15
earthlink yeah whoa still i was gonna say spc
57:19
what about spc global we see some of those too
57:22
i've never seen an spc global who uses that aside
57:27
from old people that one's weird because that
57:29
one has ads wait the emails have movers and shakers
57:32
old money baby yeah seriously yeah yes well like
57:38
Like what you get halfway through and there's
57:40
a pop up or like. No, there's just banners. I
57:43
think it's just banners all over the place. Do
57:45
they just add in like something about Coca -Cola?
57:47
And it's like, oh, yeah, it's all fucking AI
57:50
in there. Your mom is writing you a message and
57:52
it's like, well, also, did you know? Oh, man.
57:56
OK, I think that's all there is to say about
57:59
Dark. how are we gonna put a bow on this i mean
58:03
let's all say something nice about the movie
58:05
i'll start it's shorter than dying of the light
58:07
nice it's got nicholas cage in it that's a loaded
58:12
one i don't know how many people i actually liked
58:14
his performance so i i like that one but i think
58:16
it's shaky his performance yeah there were a
58:20
couple times where it felt like there just wasn't
58:23
anything more than a provided line read given
58:26
yeah that's like we need this from you it's like
58:29
okay well that's what you get I mean, it is the
58:31
era of him just sort of like cashing the check
58:33
to a certain point, but I still liked him. Shit,
58:38
you know what? Speaking of, you said it was the
58:40
era of him cashing the check. So I found this
58:43
IndieWire article and like, yeah, Cage and is
58:48
it Yelchin or Yelchin? Does it matter? I think
58:50
we both use both. We don't care. Anton, sure.
58:53
Anton and Cage absolutely had Schrader's back.
58:57
And of course, they were interviewed ad nauseum
58:59
after this. And Cage said, thanks to his run
59:06
of action movies, he's like, great, I can do
59:09
whatever I want. I'm lucky, blah, blah, blah.
59:11
And he described the movie as beleaguered. And
59:15
that was all he would say about it. And then
59:17
they sent Schrader clips. uh you know and he's
59:21
obviously furious he's lost control of his art
59:24
and uh one of the producers is sending him clips
59:27
and trader replies why the fuck are you sending
59:30
me this you slime ball you stole my life's work
59:32
i will never forget or forgive my life's work
59:35
now that's my new favorite thing about this movie
59:38
is that fucking favorite quote that's my favorite
59:41
quote from this film you stole my life's work
59:44
and bring back Who needs slurs when you can call
59:47
him a slime ball? It's a classic right there
59:49
for you. My favorite thing about this movie is
59:52
that it just continues to affirm the fact that
59:55
Paul Schrader sucks. And it's like, it's fine.
59:57
Like I, I know that there are people who like
1:00:00
him. I know that there are people who like his
1:00:02
films, but he just sucks. And this is just, again,
1:00:05
it's like, you're a sad boy who like lost your
1:00:07
toy. And then you were like, I'm going to do
1:00:09
it myself. And then you're what you created.
1:00:12
Wasn't good. No matter how much he did for the
1:00:16
director's cut and how much there are improvements
1:00:20
or whatever, the fact of the matter is this movie
1:00:23
is bad. Still just a bad movie. An improved bad
1:00:29
movie. Shorter bad movie. My question for you
1:00:32
guys, is there any director who could have saved
1:00:35
this? Is there anyone you guys have in mind?
1:00:39
Simon West. Yeah, if I had to choose a Nick Cage
1:00:42
director, I would choose Simon West because I
1:00:44
think the guy who gave us Con Air could do no
1:00:48
wrong in this. He can do whatever he wants. That's
1:00:51
true. He can give me five different endings and
1:00:54
I'll love every one of them. I'll say Scorsese.
1:00:56
You think Scorsese? But then this movie would
1:00:59
be so long. Well, are you prepared for three
1:01:02
hours of dying of the light? But bringing out
1:01:04
the dead was a pretty like reasonable cut. And
1:01:08
that's a great movie. And that's a Paul Schrader
1:01:09
script. One of the best things I did find while
1:01:14
researching this movie on IMDb, it got a four
1:01:18
-star review from Mason Fisk. I'm just going
1:01:22
to read you the title of his review. Bad Cage.
1:01:26
Bad. Succinct. I would have said, I think, keep
1:01:33
it in the family. Get Sofia Coppola in there.
1:01:36
Oh, let's not put her in anything. That could
1:01:39
be three hours. No, not acting. Okay. Directing.
1:01:42
Directing, yeah. Ugh. And that wasn't her fault.
1:01:45
Teenagers. Fucking come on, man. I was going
1:01:47
to say, what was that thing she said in fucking
1:01:50
Peggy Suga? Teenagers. Teenagers. Teenagers are
1:01:55
weird. Oh my God. Okay. I actually, you know
1:01:59
what? I like Peggy Suga. Oh, sure do we. It's
1:02:03
watchable. It's watchable. We bag on it. We bag
1:02:06
on it for sure. Sorry, we. We bag on Sofia Coppola.
1:02:09
That's really it. I don't. All right. So next
1:02:13
up, I think we're going to be watching industrial
1:02:15
symphony number one, which is the wild at heart
1:02:19
musical symphony that David Lynch created leading
1:02:24
up to making that movie. which has a very small
1:02:27
you couldn't have me on for that well now we
1:02:30
have people worth guessing on so bill panks we
1:02:34
have actual friends we want shut up bill panks
1:02:39
who created our theme music um he he's interested
1:02:43
in talking about that one he's a musician friend
1:02:45
of ours he Watched it actually already for our
1:02:49
interview. When can I listen to this? When is
1:02:51
this being, when is this airing? Two weeks and
1:02:55
two days from right now. Okay. And when are you
1:02:59
guys doing adaptation? Didn't you say you were
1:03:01
going to have a show? If anyone is in Seattle,
1:03:05
you can come join us at the beacon at five o
1:03:08
'clock on November 7th to watch adaptation. Um,
1:03:12
we'll post a link for the ticket sales for that
1:03:15
and it'd be great. It's fun. We've done five
1:03:18
showings there now. Yeah. Ish. Something like
1:03:22
that. I mean, we count the double feature as
1:03:24
one. Yeah. Yeah. So this will be five. Yeah.
1:03:27
This is our fifth showing. We're going to fist
1:03:29
the beacon. We're fisting the beacon. Come fist
1:03:31
the beacon with us. Oh, Hey, dude. I'm sorry
1:03:34
to miss that. The beacon's my favorite theater
1:03:37
in Seattle. It's such a nice place. I also am
1:03:39
bummed that I'm going to miss it, but I'm going
1:03:40
to be in Hawaii, so I don't fucking care. Oh,
1:03:43
your plans changed then? No, I'm going to be
1:03:45
in Hawaii. I texted this. I was probably stoned.
1:03:54
Did you get bong water all over your life? I
1:03:56
did get bong water all over me this week. You
1:03:59
know what? I was so upset when I spilled that
1:04:02
bong water all over. On that note, I'm going
1:04:06
to go fucking eat a gummy. and uh finish finish
1:04:10
outcast and go to bed definitely watch outcast
1:04:14
that's a good film i'm gonna have some freaky
1:04:17
fucking stone dreams uh well thank you for being
1:04:21
here jenna for the second time take us out of
1:04:23
here all right thank you to our sparkle buddies
1:04:25
josh josie matt adam bill stewart and willow
1:04:28
and to our cage dancers john freeman nathan and
1:04:31
cameron and to bill panks for our intro music
1:04:33
hopefully we will be hearing from bill panks
1:04:35
in two weeks for our next episode yay oh man
1:04:40
fuck paul schrader and his do -rag did you set
1:04:55
your bass guitars up behind you to tempt me into
1:04:58
9 -11 jokes like just two of them just sticking
1:05:03
up like little towers it's all i see now rosie
1:05:05
knock one over someone's gonna just take down
1:05:07
the north base i was practicing before we got
1:05:11
on that's rosie Look at that. Oh, my God. Is
1:05:14
she a chewini? What the fuck is that thing? She's
1:05:17
a chewini. Close. Put it on a cracker. Let me
1:05:20
eat it. She is a chihuahua pug. She might be
1:05:24
kind of tough at this point. She's in a moo's
1:05:25
booze.