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Transgender Youth: Tips on how to Support The People America Loves to Hate · Millennial Mental Health Channel

0:00
I'm looking to try and prevent kids from killing themselves, as crass as that
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sounds, and how we do that is we support these kids. We don't
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stigmatize them and tell them that they're wrong. We don't ban the treatments that
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they want to get. We support them, We say how do we help
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you, and we lift them up, we don't tear them down. This
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is Millennial Mental Health Channel. I'm doctor Justin Romano, a Child and Adolescent
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Psychiatry fellow, and I'm Eddie Creo, a licensed clinical therapist. Our podcast
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is here because we wanted to start a much needed conversation about mental health.
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Our goal is to teach you as much as we can by sharing our own
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experiences and interviewing experts in the mental health field. We will discuss topics like
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mood disorders, psychotic disorders, substance use, personality disorders, and many more.
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Millennial Mental Health Channel buy Millennials for everyone. We hope you enjoy today's
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episode. M MHC is a production of Spreaker from iHeartMedia. Ana. Welcome,
1:00
Welcome, Welcome, this is Millennial Mental Health Channel. That was my
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best John Oliver impression. We have a phenomenal episode for you guys today.
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Eddie, how you doing, brother? I always fucking freeze up, man,
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I want to say something funny. No, it's fine, I'm good.
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I am good. I'm not that important today. You and Dana are
1:23
more important because you have some news to tell us. I think you've mentioned
1:26
it before, but do you want me to tell I'll tell it. You
1:30
say it. Justin and Dana are parents now, and we're very excited for
1:34
them. Their son was born last week. It's just we have a new
1:38
co host to the Millennium Channel podcast. He's gonna be our co host.
1:45
He's gonna be our editor, our producer. Like he's got a lot of
1:48
responsibility already. He's gonna have to step up. He is. The show
1:53
is riding on his shoulders at this point and is very small baby shoulders.
2:00
He's so small, he's so cute. It has just been a whirlwind of
2:05
a five day period. Yeah, he was born on Friday and it's now
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a Wednesday. But oh my god, it has been amazing. It has
2:13
been spectacular. Everything that people tell you about becoming a parent and how great
2:17
it is, it's all true. It's it's just the craziest feeling in the
2:22
world to look down at this five pound or all six pound little human that
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you can hold in your hands and just think like, I made this with
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the person I love the most in the world, and it's just the craziest
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thing. Dam I will vouch for Justin and Dana. He's extremely cute.
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Like people sometimes will say that a baby's cute and then like it's a little
2:44
hit or miss, but no, I will. I will validate it right
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now. He's very cute. We took a picture before this and I'm gonna
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cherish it forever. So yeah, it was funny because when he was born,
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we were like only a couple hours in and we're like, Okay,
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I don't want to say it, but he's cute. Right. Most newborns
3:05
are kind of weird looking, but this baby is like full blown cute already.
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And I'm like, I don't want to jinx anything. You know,
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he's still got a long ways to go, but man, this kid is
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cute. Oh well, I'm very happy for you guys. I don't want
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to speak for all our friends, but I'll do it anyway. We're very
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happy for you guys. Thank you, thank you. It's been an amazing
3:27
experience. Well, in terms of other shout outs other than my new son
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Liam, big shout out to him, of course, shout obviously shout out.
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We got shoutouts. Want to say a big shout out the Spreaker are
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hosting platform who they actually just had me on one of their podcasts and so
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they're gonna be releasing that in May or June. We will give you guys
3:50
a link to that when it comes out, and also give a big shout
3:52
out to the Iowa PBS. I just did a TV program for them about
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sell phone addiction, kind of going off of my Ted Talks, so it
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was so much fun. We've got a lot of opportunities and a lot of
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stuff going on. Yeah, and Justin's Ted Talk, if you haven't seen
4:04
it yet, is racking up the views. It has I think over three
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thousand views. Now you know, a lot of good traction, a lot
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of good information. I'm extremely biased, but it's probably the best Ted Talk
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ever created. So if you haven't yet, go watch it. It's linked
4:19
in our link tree in all of our social media. Go watch it,
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go enjoy it. Well, thank you, Well, I wanted to do
4:28
something a little bit different. We're always tweaking and tampering with things. Let's
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do a little mindfulness moment at the beginning of our show, Eddie, what
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are some of your core values? Damn okay, okay, okay. You
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would think I have the script I should be ready. Core value authenticity.
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I think that's important. Passion, passion, like for the work that I
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do. And I don't know if it can be considered like a core value,
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but like family, but like not to the point of like related like
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blood relatives, but just like people that I consider in my familial pack.
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I think authenticity is maybe I don't know, I could probably think of something
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more important, but I think it is one that I resonate with a lot
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because it's something that I come back to at work when I'm teaching and things
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that I do, Like I tell people like you get me, and that's
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it, like I am one. Like there's no I don't. I don't
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switch it up too much when it comes to different groups of people, when
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it comes to like administration at work or bosses, right like it's it is
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you get one, Eddie. That is it basically take it or leave it.
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Most of the time people take it thankfully, but it makes me think
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back. There's a song that jay Z wrote. I don't remember the song
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at all, but there's a lyric in it that I think of like probably
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every few weeks. That's it goes a couple mistakes here and there, and
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I'm not always right, but I'm always real and that's how I sleep at
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night. And I like that just because, like, yeah, it's we
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don't need to be changing for people. And I think especially when it comes
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to being a therapist, Like I think a lot of therapists unfortunately, like
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take themselves too seriously and like try to be too like I don't know,
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prim and proper, and I just that just doesn't work for me. And
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for some people that works and that's great, but just for me, I
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think there's too much of an emphasis on that what you got for me?
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Oh, first, I want to comment on how much I admire your authenticity.
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And I think that's one of the reason why this show has grown so
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much is because people can relate to you, and you are an authentic person
6:43
and it's just easy to see your energy and your persona. Everything about you
6:47
is genuine and it's it's fun. It's fun to work with you. Yeah,
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I would say similar to yours. My core values are family, and
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like you said, and family mostly connections, the connections we make in this
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world. And love. It's very generic, it's it's very it's very John
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Lennon, but it's there is a lot of craziness in this world, and
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it just seems like every time I strip everything away and try and figure out
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what is life about, it's about the people. It's about the connections that
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you make, and the love that you give and the love that you get
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back. Those are the most important things and the most gratifying things in life.
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So yeah, I like the people. Yeah. Well, on that
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note, we're gonna be talking about transgender health today because this is a group
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of people that we love to connect with. Because transgender people are it's a
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political issue, and unfortunately their mental and physical health has become a political issue,
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and more than anything, we just want to emphasize that these are people
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that deserve love and connection. I work with a lot of transgender people.
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I have a whole clinic, gender and Sexual Minorities clinic where I see mostly
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transgender kids, and I've spoken to a lot of lgbt QIA two s plus
8:07
people on these issues. But we've never really dedicated a full episode to transgender
8:13
issues in general, so this is why we're doing that. I want to
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give my story, but I'm not going to give too much information because I
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told Justin about this earlier. But yes, I mean, I it's so
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it's all of this all the news. I mean there's something new, like
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every day of like DeSantis is dumb ass signing something, or different governors signing
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this, or like not wanting to allow gender affirming care or just well there
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was like one like a while back, or something like in Texas or something
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in sorry Texas if it was in Texas, but I feel like it was
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Texas. There's like trying to get like a bill in place where like if
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a therapist doesn't tell a family that their child has come out as parts as
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part of the LGBTQ pla community, that the therapist can be arrested, like
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just like stupid stuff, and like, yeah, to your point, like
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it has become a political issue when it shouldn't be. These are people just
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like you and I are trans teens that we work with. I feel like
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are getting the short end of the stick a lot of the time. And
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I think a lot of a lot of them have to almost live like in
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secret, and I hear a lot like the the argument that like, well
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everyone's trans, no dudes, Like this was never around when I was when
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I was younger, And we're going to debunk that here in a little bit.
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But it's like, so what what if that? What if that is
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true? What if? What if that is true that there weren't as many
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trans people when you were younger, Like this is like a new thing,
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So what people were people? We need to love all people and not be
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treating them like shit like they have been treated. I guess my story is
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just like the importance to me of like being a safe place for trans youth
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and are trans teen patients that we've had in the past. There was just
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one time where I was almost assigned well, I'll just leave it at this.
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There was a parent that I did not agree with because they were not
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supportive of their trans youth, and my boss wanted me to work with them,
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and I told my boss, if you make me work with this parent,
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I will physically fight them. And I was asked not to work with
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the family. So I don't know, that's just how important it is to
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me. There's no reason why anyone should be treated differently just because of who
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they are and what they represent. And we do want to give some resources
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for parents out there because it is a hard thing for a parent to It's
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a big transition, and even as a parent for the past five days,
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so much emotion and so much thought goes into names and expectations and everything you
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want for your child, and for all of that to change is hard on
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parents. So I get it from a parent perspective now more than ever.
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But one of the things that we want to emphasize as much as possible is
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that when young trans teens have support socially from their parents, they're much like
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much more likely to do better in terms of their mental health. So if
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there's one thing you can take from this episode, it's support your trans people,
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because that is the way that we help and right now they're struggling a
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little bit, they're more likely to have mental health issues. So I appreciate
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your story, and I'm glad you didn't fight that parents. I think the
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parents glad too, But also you gotta think, like something that I think
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about is like some unfortunately some minority groups can can can relate in our country,
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but just to like turn on the TV or to look on Twitter or
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to look on TikTok and just feel like every single day there's a new attack
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on your group of people and you don't even do anything to these people,
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Like what like the whole thing? What's the argument? Now? People are
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getting upset with like um drag drag reading at like libraries and like, what's
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the guy's name, George Santos from uh oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
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from New York. Yeah, I'm gonna leave with never mind, I'm not
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gonna I'm not gonna cuss up a storm. Yeah it is remember Eddie hypocrisy.
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These people are like attacking minority groups of people, And all right,
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next question, I gotta calm down. It is our job to educate and
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try and build empathy and connection. But I know it's easy to get really
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emotional about this stuff. And I actually I really like your emotion and your
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fire for helping these people. I got you, And I guess my story
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is a quick one. But I've had a couple of times where I have
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young trans kids who they don't want to be trans. They've had these thoughts
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since they were young, and they push them off and push them off and
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push them off and try and avoid it until they get to a point where
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they can't avoid it anymore. And then one of the things they tell me
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is like, I don't want to be trans because society hates me, and
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that just crushes my soul and it makes me feel sad on the inside.
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So think about that every time, you know, I don't think too many
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anti trans people listen to the show, but I mean every time you spread
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hate about transgender people, just understand that that hurts somebody and that makes them
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at a higher risk for having mental health problems and feeling inadequate and feeling like
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they have no place in society when they are people and everyone deserves a place
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in society. YEA, absolutely hit us with some history so we can dembunk
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these BS people. So some history for today. The actual first documented transgender
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people in history were from about four thousand, five hundred years ago in ancient
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Sumeria and Acadia. So that's a long time ago. And this is this
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has been around for a lot longer than most other people think. There was
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even a Roman emperor Ella Gabalus, who and you bet I practice that name
13:52
before we started. He was in two hundred and twenty two a d.
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And he was believed to be the first trans one or trans feminine ruler of
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Rome or Emperor Caesar, sorry that's the word. And she even desired sex
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reaffirmment surgery. I was looking up that she had tried to find a doctor
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who would attempted and like offered these large sums of money to try and get
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it done. Yeah, there are historical examples, and that's just a handful
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of them or two of them. That there are lots of them. Those
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are the kind of the big ones that I wanted to to say. But
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the main point there is when people say, like this wasn't around in my
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day, it absolutely was. It's been around for thousands of years. And
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you can kindly remind people that this issue these people have been around for millennia,
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or not kindly remind people exactly upsettingly remind people. I don't know.
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As far as history in America, many Native American tribes had people that did
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not fill the gender role of their sex assigned at birth. This is something
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that's been kind of charted throughout history. These people were seen as third enders
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that occupied different roles in society dependent on the tribe. In the year nineteen
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ninety, the term two spirit was created at the Indigenous Lesbian and Gay International
15:09
Gathering in a Winnipeg and quote specifically chosen to distinguish and distance Native American First
15:15
Nations people from non Native peoples. I thought that was interesting that. I
15:20
thought two spirit was something that really dated back a long time, but it's
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really only been around since nineteen ninety and that's a part of that. When
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I said to lgbtqia two S plus the two S is for two spirits,
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that's the Native American distinction. I didn't know that. Oh, that's interesting.
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The first documented transgender person in the in the White US was Thomasine Hall
15:45
born in sixteen oh three, who was likely intersected by today's terminology. They
15:50
were actually ordered to wear men's pants and women's apron by Virginia court. So
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this is an interesting example of government starting to try and control people's genders.
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Even four hundred years ago, the governments were trying to intervene in some of
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this stuff. Another interesting example that we have for you guys is Joseph Lobdel,
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who was born in eighteen twenty nine as Lucy Ann Lobdell, what we
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would call a dead name, lived as a man for sixty years, and
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due to this was actually, at the end of that run incarcerated and put
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in an insane asylum for being transgender. And while in the asylum that his
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doctor wrote an article called quote a case of sexual perversion. So, needless
16:38
to say, psychiatry doesn't have the most stellar history in the world of being
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like open and understanding, which of any profession I feel like it should be.
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But man, we're still trying to overcome and write some wrongs that our
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profession has done over the years. We've done some bad day let's just yeah,
17:00
good things. Anytime we talk about the bad history of psychology and psychiatry,
17:06
the two that stick out or the Stanford prison experiment and then the Milgrim
17:10
experiment where people like thought they were shocking somebody and like to the point where
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they like, you know what what I'm talking about, where they're like,
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yeah, if they get something wrong, you hit them with a shock.
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And the people thought they were actually shocking and like to the point where like
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nobody was like responding, like it's messed up. We thankfully there's the IRB
17:29
now, But I don't know man anyway. Another example we have for y'all
17:33
is Francis Thompson, a formerly in slight enslaved black trans woman, was one
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of five black women who testified before Congress's investigation of the Memphis Riots of eighteen
17:44
sixty six, during which a mob of white terrorists attacked in rape Thompson.
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Ten years later, Thompson was the one who was arrested for quote being dressed
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being a man dressed in women's clothing. There are a lot of instances of
17:56
people in America being trans. In some cases, it was not discovered that
17:59
people were until after they died because they were able to pass for so long.
18:03
Again to the point that justin made earlier of Like when people say this
18:06
wasn't a thing when I was younger, it was. And just because you
18:08
weren't aware of it, just because you didn't notice it, just because it
18:12
wasn't something that you paid attention to, doesn't mean that it doesn't count,
18:15
doesn't mean that it doesn't have historical importance, doesn't mean that your ignorance Trump's
18:22
over factual information bam boom. The first widely publicized case of someone being transgender
18:32
was in nineteen nineteen fifty two, when Christine Jorgensen got a sex reassignment surgery
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now called sex reaffirmment surgery, she was denied a marriage license to a man
18:44
and her fiance was actually fired because of the situation. So this guy got
18:48
fired just for being in love with the wrong person. And then in nineteen
18:53
sixty six there was a riot in a place called Compton's Cafeteria and San Francisco,
19:00
which really began the transactivism movement because a bunch of trans people were trying
19:07
to get into this this cafeteria, this cafe, and they would not let
19:10
in, and so that was kind of this that was seen as the beginning
19:14
of trying to fight for trans rights in America. So yeah, I mean
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this stuff has been around, but since Baby Boomerara, Yeah, I think
19:22
too, it was just easier for older generations to well, okay, let
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me come at it from a neutri angle. I'll try to. I'll try.
19:33
Like, I think it's easier for like older generations to potentially say like
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this wasn't around when when I was younger, or like this wasn't a thing,
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maybe because they didn't have access to as much information as we do now.
19:44
So if you're living, say in Omaha, Nebraska, you're not necessarily
19:49
getting the news that's going on in San Francisco, California. And if you
19:55
are getting the news about it, you're not getting it in real time.
19:57
So there's a chance has never see it or you never read it. So
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I guess from a neutral standpoint, I can try to understand that maybe older
20:07
generations think that it wasn't a thing because they didn't have access to the information,
20:11
But that doesn't mean that now that we do have access to the information,
20:15
you just say no, that still wasn't a thing because I never noticed
20:18
it, Like, no, you have information, now you're wrong. Takes
20:23
some time to try and understand the history a little bit. It really helps
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and helps build that empathy and understanding. Some more modern examples we want to
20:33
give you transgender people being completely accepted in society, no questions asked. In
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India and Bangladesh, there is a legally recognized third gender known as the Heijas,
20:45
and it is estimated that there's around a half million people living as heijas.
20:52
There's also the Afafina of the Polynesian Islands. There are another example of
20:56
transgender people that are born male but occupy more of a female role in society
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that just have They're totally normal, there's nothing different about them. The faugh
21:07
Off Afina people just see them as an important part of society and they typically
21:11
occupy or at least from what I've read, some of like the childcare roles.
21:17
And so there's just lots of examples, and there's even one in Thailand.
21:22
Thailand is a country that is a very open society to transgender people and
21:26
don't see it as anything different or absurd. So even in today's modern world,
21:33
there are multiple cultures and multiple societies where this is normal. The hard
21:37
part when we have situations like this where the trans community and the LGBTQ plus
21:44
community as a whole are like under attack, is when people don't like when
21:48
they don't understand something and then they latch onto they don't understand something, so
21:52
then they latch onto misinformation, or they latch onto like the one bad example.
22:00
Specifically, what I'm thinking about is like the argument that if if someone
22:03
who was born a male now identifies as a female and uses a female bathroom,
22:10
that the potential rates that someone is assaulted like a female bathroom patron is
22:15
assaulted by a said person somehow they assume that the rates are going to skyrocket,
22:22
and even though statistics do not support that, they'll choose the one time
22:26
where maybe it did happen, or the off chance that something did happen,
22:29
and they say, see, this is why we can't be doing this.
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This is why we can't have these kind of things in our community or in
22:34
our schools. People get so upset about like gender neutral bathrooms, which makes
22:40
no sense to me, Like it's it's just a one it's a one toilet,
22:45
it's a one shitter, that's it. I don't understand why people get
22:51
so upset, Like people will have legit arguments online of like why why does
22:56
my school have why do these schools have gender neutral bath What does it matter?
23:00
It's a bathroom with one toilet, one lock, one person can go
23:04
in it, that's it. I don't know. People just like to be
23:08
upset for no damn reason. Yeah, And I think that's a large part
23:14
of two things. The social media algorithms only really pumping information that is highly
23:22
inflammatory and supposed to get you riled up, and twenty four hour news media
23:27
cycle, and you know, you see examples it seems like almost anytime I
23:33
talk about transgender rights, I'm talking about government not trying to ban reaffirming care
23:41
or gender affirming care, that kind of stuff, But everyone else jumps right
23:44
to, well, well, they shouldn't be competing in sports. And there
23:48
are a few examples where, I mean, I've saw like a story of
23:52
an MMA fighter who is genetically a male competing as a female and was you
23:56
know, really maybe potentially hurting some the females. But it's like those stories
24:02
in actuality are very few and far between, and it's it's an example that's
24:07
just used to get an emotional reaction out of people a lot of the time
24:12
and get you to unfortunately judge and hate this group of people who aren't trying
24:19
to ruin sports. They're not trying to do anything, They're just trying to
24:23
live their lives. Yeah, I'm looking it up right now as we because
24:29
she deserves to have her actual name talked about. So it's Leah Thomas,
24:33
the swimmer, swimmer, right, and I want to at least highlight her
24:37
name because she deserves that she did nothing wrong except she participated, not even
24:41
except she did nothing wrong. She participated, and like collegiate swimming. I
24:45
think she got like eighth place or something in one of the competitions, you
24:51
know, got a trophy or fifth place or whatever it was. The issue
24:55
that's come of it is like there's one girl I don't and I don't remember
24:57
her name. I don't care about her name. She doesn't deserve any airtime.
25:00
But she's taken this thing that happened like a year ago, year and
25:04
a half ago and has totally run with it on like the conservative circuit of
25:08
like she this is why we can't let transgender people compete in sports. Blah
25:12
blah blah. Look what she did. And she's gone on to say like,
25:15
oh, she broke all these records this day. She you know,
25:19
completely blew everyone out of the water. It was like, no, she
25:22
didn't. She got like one time where she got to stand like on the
25:26
podium. She broke zero records that day. She just competed. And you're
25:30
and you're upset because I think apparently the Leah and the other person got like
25:37
the same time and tied basically, and this other person just upset because they
25:41
gave Leah the trophy. Because there's actual rules and the NCAA guidelines that I
25:48
think it was specifically whoever was older in the case of a tie got to
25:52
have the trophy that day, and that they would send the other person a
25:56
trophy later. But she was upset because she didn't get a troll and Leah
26:00
did, and wanted to use that as a point to attack Leah and the
26:03
trans community. There's a lot of hate, unfortunately, and that's what we're
26:07
trying to extinguish a little bit of And no greater way to extinguish hate than
26:14
with a nerd alert. Actually, I don't know where I was going with
26:18
that anyway, So this nerd that didn't really make any sense, but I
26:22
appreciate your willingness to laugh at my bad jokes. So this nerdal alert comes
26:30
from the Cleveland Cleveland Clinic and their website on a study that it was done
26:36
on transgender people. Factually speaking, there are structural differences between male and female
26:41
brains. We just know that they're different, and in nowhere we're saying that
26:45
either one is better or smarter. They're just physiologically anatomically a little bit different.
26:52
And the brains of transgender people tend to have a morphology that's somewhat in
26:56
the middle, they resemble more of the brain that they identify with and not
27:03
necessarily the brain that they were of this sex that they were born with.
27:08
Transgender brains tend to show traits of both male and female brains, and that
27:14
although this article did say that this is a really cool finding, we don't
27:18
have one evidence and surety on this, but it's just kind of a cool
27:22
thing to see that there is there is something going on with the brain in
27:26
terms of transgender people and to give it somewhat validity. Although we don't need
27:32
more validity. Their experiences and what they say should be valid enough. We
27:37
shouldn't just have to have proven with science. Hell yeah. So next section
27:52
then stats and facts. What do we know about transgender mental health? Also
27:56
from the Cleveland Clinic. We do have some stats and facts for you all,
27:59
but before we continue with that, it is important to note that not
28:02
all trans people have mental health issues, but they often experience a lot of
28:07
discrimination and because of it, are more likely to have mental health issues than
28:10
the general population. We've talked about this with other minority groups that experience discrimination,
28:17
prejudice, all these extremely negative things, they have a tendency to have
28:22
mental health issues. Because of that, not because of who they are,
28:26
but because of how people treat them, I think, is what I'm trying
28:29
to say. So again, being trans itself is not a mental health disorder.
28:33
So first point, psychiatrist have a tendency to pathologize the human experience.
28:37
Damn it, justin for example, just kidding, justin. For example,
28:45
being gay was a diagnosable mental health disorder up until the eighties. Again,
28:48
psychology and psychiatry. Man, we are not looking good, but it's okay.
28:52
We have people like us trying to make it better. We now know
28:56
how wrong and stigmatizing that was and how we should not have done that.
29:00
And there is a diagnosis of gender dysphoria in the DSM five, And I
29:06
know a lot of trans people with more of a gender incongruence, which is
29:11
not a diagnosable mental health problem. So what the difference there is If you
29:15
are transgender and being in the wrong body is causing you to feel terrible about
29:22
yourself, have a lot of self image issues and depression anxiety, that would
29:26
qualify as a gender dysphoria, But just wanting to be the other gender than
29:33
what you were assigned at birth is more of a gender incongruence, And I
29:37
know that sometimes names and terms they change in this arena fast for society,
29:42
and a lot of people have a hard time keeping up with it sometimes,
29:45
So we just want to give you what I believe are the most up to
29:49
date terms that we should be using with this population. So unfortunate stats include
29:53
that about half of school age trans kids experienced some type of verbal harassment of
30:00
at a quarter experience a physical attack from a peer one intent or sexually assaulted,
30:04
which I want to point out I feel like, what is like the
30:08
saying like I know we've talked about it, like on our schizophrenia episode,
30:11
where people are quick to assume that someone with schizophrenia is more likely to be
30:15
the perpetrator of violence than to be the victim. Similar vein in this situation
30:22
where I feel like I've seen a lot in misinformation media where people will claim
30:29
that trans individuals are more likely to sexually assault somebody or attack somebody, but
30:33
I think more likely they're they're more likely to be the victim than anything else.
30:38
And it sucks because if you're a part of a group where you are
30:41
the victim more often than not. But people don't believe you, you have
30:45
a hard time getting support and getting the actual care and help that you need.
30:51
For adults, It's also important to note that about fifty percent are verbally
30:55
harassed in a given year for being trans in the trans community. For the
30:57
overall transmunity. Because of these traumas, about thirty nine percent of trans people
31:03
report experienced severe experiencing severe psychological distress, and the rates of mental health disorders
31:08
like depression and anxiety are higher in those population compared to the general population.
31:15
And I want to talk about gender affirming care a little bit, and what
31:18
we mean by this is allowing young people to get hormones or even potentially surgeries
31:25
to better display on the outside what they feel on the inside. And this
31:30
is something that I have struggled with in terms of understanding and the ethics of
31:36
it. But especially when I first started this journey, I was like,
31:40
I don't know how I feel about it. I want to make sure I'm
31:41
doing the right thing. I want to make sure I'm not hurting kids.
31:45
Because I do see from time to time where a transgender young person does detransition,
31:51
it is rare. It is much more likely that they continue with their
31:56
journey on with the gender that they have chosen. But it's a tough decision.
32:01
It's not an easy thing. I will say that the evidence and data
32:07
and even my own personal experiences with this population is that gender affirming care reduces
32:15
the rates of depression, anxiety, and suicide. And people in this population
32:21
have higher rates of those things because of the stigma, because of discrimination,
32:24
because of that poor social support. So I'm looking to try and prevent kids
32:32
from killing themselves, as crass as that sounds. And how we do that
32:37
is we support these kids. We don't stigmatize them and tell them that they're
32:40
wrong. We don't ban the treatments that they want to get. We support
32:45
them, We say how do we help you, and we lift them up.
32:47
We don't tear them down from a person to person perspective at the very
32:53
minimum, I just have the hardest time understanding why people can not get that
33:00
through their head of like, if I can do one thing that can help
33:04
this person feel better and feel included and feel like a human being, why
33:08
would you not do it? If I could do this one thing that could
33:13
help this person not feel like they have these suicidal thoughts all the time,
33:16
not feel like they want to leave this planet not feel like they are just
33:22
the worst person ever, because I think that's how a lot of people make
33:24
the trans community feel. If you could do like one thing to make them
33:28
feel better, why would you not do it? Like I just that part
33:30
is so hard for me to understand, and I, oh, I'm gonna
33:35
say it. We're taking hot takes. And that's the part two where I
33:37
have a hard time where us as therapists or us in the mental health profession.
33:44
If you're a therapist, I'm gonna say this. This is not even
33:47
the show's perspective. This is my stance. If you're a therapist and you
33:53
can't support trans youth or trans adults, or just the trans community, or
33:58
really any minority population or that matter, you got to go find another job.
34:01
I've told this the students before in the past, like the students that
34:05
I teach in the summer. I make it a point to say, at
34:07
some point, if you are not able to be open and to care for
34:10
these people and to care for these minority populations that get treated like shit,
34:15
you gotta go find another job. Like, go do something else, Go
34:19
go take your bigotry somewhere else. Anyway, that's not on the script,
34:22
but I just want to share no, and I think you bring up a
34:28
really good point. If you can't support someone who is your patient just because
34:34
of something that they don't really have a choice over and we're born with,
34:37
then maybe you got into the profession for the wrong reasons. And I know,
34:42
unfortunately a big part of the anti trans movement is in the religious community,
34:47
and oftentimes in America at least the large part of the religious community are
34:52
Christians. And it just blows my mind that they are so ready to condemn
34:58
this group of people when Jesus's number one message was to love thy neighbor as
35:02
thyself. I mean, what would what would Jesus do? Jesus would love
35:08
them and support them, but it just seems like they get so much hate
35:12
from the Christian community. And that might also just be news media telling me
35:15
that the Christian community hates these people too. So it's a tough issue,
35:21
but yes, we got to support these people. So if you are a
35:25
family member who wants to be an ally, because this is a big transition,
35:31
and if you haven't ever met someone who's trans getting used to new pronouns
35:35
and everything, oh that's a big change. But if you're interested, here
35:38
are some tips of how you can support trans people the best. You can
35:44
always make an effort to use their chosen pronouns and name that above anything else,
35:50
just validates their experience and their preferences and their choices. That is the
35:55
number one thing, the first step that you can take to really supporting trans
36:00
people. You also don't want to share information about their gender or their transition
36:02
without their permission. This is a very sensitive and intimate topic for people,
36:07
so to put it out on out there in the open, to put it
36:10
on blast, is a no no. Please, do not do that.
36:14
Respect their privacy, just like you would want your own privacy respected. When
36:17
you do have permission to share that kind of stuff, then that's when you
36:21
know it's okay to share. Express your concern for their well being and your
36:23
desire for them to live a happy life. Now, I will say Americans
36:28
are just terrible at this. In general, no one ever expresses their concern
36:31
for someone else's well being and wants them to live a happy life. But
36:37
it's a good tip to follow. If you want to show someone that you
36:39
love them and care about them, tell them you can ask how you can
36:45
help them feel understood? Ask them what would be helpful? I know in
36:47
my sessions I try to ask like what can I do? Like what would
36:52
be helpful for you today, tomorrow, next week? What would make you
36:54
feel better? What would make you feel more comfortable? And not to the
36:58
point of like what I need to do to fix this, more of just
37:00
like what do you need right now? Is it just do you need someone
37:04
to listen? Do you need someone to bounce ideas off of? Do you
37:06
need me to take you to an appointment? Do you need me to make
37:07
an appointment for you? What is it? What would help you feel more
37:10
understood? Which is a good segue into the next one of offered to go
37:14
with them two appointments if they're okay with it, or check in afterward if
37:17
you can't be there in person, show some effort, put in some time,
37:22
tell them that you or show them with your actions that you are willing
37:24
to invest in them and willing to try and understand. You also want to
37:29
talk about their journey with them and help them process their feelings. This is
37:32
not something that I think people take lightly in the trans community, in the
37:36
LGBTQ plus community, this is not just a decision that they make in two
37:39
minutes. This is something that takes years and years of thought. It's not
37:44
an easy journey, it's not an easy process. So to help them work
37:46
through their own feelings I think can really have long and lasting positive effects on
37:52
them. And finally, last tip is don't tell trans people how to feel.
37:57
In fact, don't tell anyone to feel. And this is something that
38:01
I actually have a little bit of experience with and working with trans youth and
38:05
their parents, and overall I've actually found and I do have a little bit
38:09
of a selection bias because they probably wouldn't be seeing me unless their parents were
38:13
somewhat supportive. But I do have some parents that will say, like,
38:19
oh, well, just you know, don't worry about the trans stuff.
38:22
Just focus on school, maybe music, some of your hobbies, and you
38:25
know, all the gender and stuff that'll just fall into place, that'll just
38:29
happen. It's like, well, don't that doesn't really work. This is
38:34
a big deal to young people. Let them process it, and facilitate their
38:37
processing it and try and help them figure out ways that they could write about
38:43
it, talk about it. Talking about things with their parents is a huge
38:45
way for young people to be able to process big decisions in their life,
38:51
and the more open and honest and accepting you can be, the better for
38:54
their own mental health. Like most episodes, as we near the end,
38:58
we like to just share some famous people who can relate to today's topic.
39:02
The first one is Laverne Cox. They're an actor an LGBT LGBTQ plus advocate
39:09
who became famous with the role of Sophia Burssett on Netflix's Orange is the New
39:15
Black. I've never seen the show, but I am familiar that it is
39:17
a show. She actually has an identical twin brother who played her pre transition
39:22
self in the show. Growing up in Alabama, she received a lot of
39:25
hate and judgment for having a crush on a boy in school, which led
39:29
to an attempt to die by suicide at eleven years old. She was the
39:32
first ever trans person to start in her own show, which vh ones Transform
39:37
Me. And she was the first ever trans person to be on the cover
39:40
of Time magazine. And I just found out that she's fifty. She looks
39:45
great for fifty. I will be honest, justin definitely wrote that because I
39:50
don't know Google her right now. She's gorgeous. She's like one of the
39:55
most beautiful women I think I've ever seen. Well, we wait for Eddie
40:00
here. Oh yeah, I know who this is. Yeah, okay,
40:05
yeah, yeah, she's not fifty. There's no way I know, right
40:08
like she yeah, I was like, she's fifty, she looks maybe thirty
40:12
five. It's it's pretty unbelievable. You know what people age pretty well,
40:16
the ones who are not problematic and bigoted anyway. Next person, nothing makes
40:22
Rinkle's horse like hate and racism and racism. Next one we have is Elliot
40:29
Page, possibly the most recognizable person on this list because we got to see
40:34
that transition in real time. So. Elliott is a Canadian actor who starred
40:37
in the two thousand and seven hit movie Juno was also an inception the Umbrella
40:43
Academy trailer Park Boys and Whip It. He came out as a man in
40:47
December of twenty twenty and started going by he They pronounce. Elliot was also
40:53
featured on the cover of Time magazine They Time magazine apparently is all about transgender
40:59
people, and when Elliott Page made the announcement about his gender identity, he
41:05
was recovering from top surgery at the time that he actually described as life saving.
41:10
That is how important this is to people, This being able to reflect
41:15
who you are on the inside and be your most authentic and genuine self.
41:20
To throw it back to Eddie's point at the very beginning of the episode,
41:24
it just it helps so much. It helps with their physical health or mental
41:29
health or mental well being. And so I'm so glad that Elliott was able
41:31
to find that. And he says, or this is a quote from him,
41:37
he said that at the age of nine, he would say I felt
41:39
like a boy. I wanted to be a boy. I would ask my
41:43
mom if I could be a boy someday. So even at a very young
41:47
age, and we learn in a psychiatry and a lot of our literature and
41:52
textbooks that a lot of gender identity really starts forming around age four, and
41:58
actually it's pretty solidified by age four. So when people say like, oh,
42:01
these kids are too young to be making those decisions, that actually goes
42:05
against the data that it goes against the evidence that by age four kids have
42:09
a pretty good idea of who they are and who they want to be.
42:14
Yeah, take that science, science. I'll let you do the next one,
42:20
because I know you have some specific experience. I didn't want to like
42:22
read it and like I'd be lying because it says like anyway people will get
42:27
it, it's because you don't know who Chaz Bono isa, I'm sorry,
42:32
Eddie. Do I ever know why people like it? But I feel bad
42:38
You're sorry, Eddie. So Chaz Bono, this is the first trance person
42:44
I remember being exposed to be seeing on TV. My mom was all about
42:50
pop culture growing up. She was always watching Entertainment Tonight and ET loves Chaz
42:55
Bono. There were just tons of pieces with Chaz on there. And Chaz
43:00
is the son of the famed musicians Sonny Bono and Share so all Star our
43:06
parents, and he's been a huge proponent of transgender rights. So I wanted
43:12
to bring Chats on the show because this was my my foray into this topic.
43:15
And I think he's done so much for getting exposure in a time where
43:21
it was still very stigmatized to come out as trans. This was fifteen twenty
43:27
years ago, and a great quote from Chaz is that gender is between your
43:31
ears, not in between your legs. I thought that was pretty well.
43:39
We're gonna hit some resources and then we're gonna play us out. So let's
43:43
give you. We give you, guys all this information. You let me
43:45
yell for a little bit. I don't really yell. He let me be
43:47
upset for a little bit. We want to at least give you some resources.
43:50
So this is what we got. So the first one is is it
43:53
pflag or P flag? Is that just the easiest way to say, yeah,
43:58
P flag. So they offer resources for families and friends of trans people
44:02
and they focus on building a network of allies in communities across the country.
44:07
You can google and look up a p FLAG chapter near you and get some
44:10
help and support that way. The Trevor Project is a big one that we
44:15
like. We actually did a fundraiser and you know, we should probably do
44:17
another fundraiser because that was a lot of fun. Yeah, I was like
44:21
two years ago now we did that, but we raised up I think it
44:23
was over a thousand dollars for the Trevor Project, which has trained counselors to
44:28
help young It's primarily for trans youth of color and trying to get because oh
44:35
my gosh, that population just does not have nearly enough resources. So the
44:40
Trevor Project is awesome. They even have their own suicide hotline that if you
44:46
need it, if you need someone to talk to, it's one eight six
44:50
six four eight eight seven three eight six And it's a wonderful, wonderful thing,
44:57
and we are so so happy that they are take the lead and providing
45:00
support for that population. And then some other resources that we wanted to tell
45:07
you guys about if you are a parent, or if you are just someone
45:10
who knows a young trans person or an older transperson, if you just want
45:14
to be supportive, if you want to be that support person that helps someone.
45:17
Transparenthood dot com is a great website to give lots of resources and ways
45:22
to talk about this stuff. And then also the Family Project dot s FSU
45:29
dot edu and that's San Francisco State University, Go Bay area. So there
45:34
are some cool resources out there. Go Gators. I had a lot of
45:39
friends. I went to San Francisco State. I actually almost went there.
45:43
That's a story for a different day. Okay, they're the Gators, yeah
45:45
in California. Yeah, we have a huge Gator part. You know now
45:50
that you're I do this where I say something and now I am doubting it,
45:54
So hold on it, gas, No, No, it is it
45:59
is. Yep, it's the San Francisco State Gators. That's right, that's
46:02
hilarious, right, yeah, go Gators, the Gators, Baby Purple and
46:06
Gold. Okay. Last one, the trans Lifeline. They offer direct emotional
46:10
and financial support to trans people in crisis. It was created for the trans
46:15
community by the trans community, and if you are in crisis, you can
46:17
call the trans Lifeline at one eight seven seven five six five eight eight six
46:23
zero. And then I also just wanted to give one final shout out to
46:28
Nebraska Senator MICHAELA. Kavanaugh, who filibustered a bill in the Nebraska Senate that
46:35
would have made gender affirming care illegal in the state. She sat up there
46:39
and filibustered it by talking for eight straight hours. So what a badass.
46:45
Thank you for putting the health and mental health of children above a political agenda.
46:52
I respect the hell out of you, and man, I, yeah,
46:55
that's awesome what you did. Badass. Suck on that Ted Cruise.
47:01
He's Ted Cruise gone a long long time without getting some shit from us,
47:06
So for me, that's true. It has been a long time since Ted
47:09
Cruise. On that note, thank you all so much for listening to today's
47:15
episode. We hope it was helpful in some way, shape or form.
47:19
As always, you can find us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever you
47:22
get your podcasts. If you have Apple Podcasts, foofre, you leave us
47:24
a five star review, and you can also leave us a comment that we'd
47:27
love to read. On Spotify, you can leave us a five star review
47:30
and I guess post a question and hopefully we can answer it somehow. On
47:32
social media, you can find us at at Millennial MHC. You can also
47:37
email at us at Millennial mh channel at gmail dot com. Again, thank
47:43
you all for listening. We hope you're able to take a lot of good
47:45
information away from today's episode. Congrats again to Justin and Dana for their beautiful
47:49
baby boy Liam. Thank you all for listening, and as always, take
47:52
care of y'all mentals.