Latest / JOY LOVING HOME - SAHM, Productivity, Home Organization, Declutter, ADHD Mom, ADHD SAHM, ADHD Brain / 251: Dream Big Without Burning Out Your All or Nothing ADHD Brain

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251: Dream Big Without Burning Out Your All or Nothing ADHD Brain · JOY LOVING HOME - SAHM, Productivity, Home Organization, Declutter, ADHD Mom, ADHD SAHM, ADHD Brain

• 0:00
  Welcome or welcome back to the Joy Loving Home podcast.
• 0:02
  We are on part two of a series this week that started with episode 250,
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  where we are building a runway to launch ourselves nicely into the new year
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  with all of our new year energy and goals and excitement and all the things
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  that we want to tackle to make this year different than past years.
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  And we're trying to harness all of that energy, but we want to set ourselves
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  up to do things in the right way, quote unquote, so that we don't feel defeated two days in.
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  And I know we're already six days in if you're listening to this in real time.
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  And that's okay because that's the whole point of building the runway is there
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  isn't this magical thing that happens January 1st, yet your magic can start
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  January 10th if you want to. It can start February 12th.
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  Whatever the case is we're going to slow down and take some steps so that we
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  feel really ready to hit the ground running.
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  I'm mixing a whole lot of analogies here. Just bear with me.
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  But if you didn't tune in yesterday, I would suggest possibly going back starting
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  at 250 and picking back up.
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  But yesterday we talked about figuring out our five W's, the who,
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  what, when, where, why of getting our year going.
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  And we know the how is going to not be as important. And we're going to tackle
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  that as the year progresses.
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  But now we're on day two. And right after this, we're going to dig into the
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  fact that it's okay to dream.
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  Today's just kind of the fun day, the part where all that, that excitement and
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  energy gets harnessed. So let's dig into that right now.
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  A wise person once said, everybody is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its
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  ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it's stupid.
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  Well, Fish, quit trying to climb trees while getting advice from well-intentioned monkeys.
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  It's time to jump in the water and learn how to swim with the current of your life.
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  I'm Joy, a professional organizer, mom of four, and fellow Fishbrain.
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  If you're looking for a place to get understanding, encouragement and ideas
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  for your home that actually fit how your brain thinks then i'm glad you're here
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  let's ditch the type a advice and embrace what makes our brains and our homes
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  unique together we could have a joy loving home.
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  I'm going to actually give myself permission to digress for half a second.
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  I am recording this podcast right now for the third time today,
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  which is why it's going to appear to have been published very late in the day.
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  And I apologize for that.
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  If I am an example of anything, it is going to be that in spite of setbacks
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  and not being able to do things perfectly, please just keep pushing.
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  Just keep taking a step forward because we are going to have many,
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  many setbacks and we are not going to live by the all or nothing.
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  It would be very easy for me at this point to just go scrap it.
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  It's not meant to be today, but I am determined because I'm excited about our
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  topic and I am going to get this published, but I have had, I'm on step three of technical problems.
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  Think I have it fixed now. So if you are having a tough day or you're listening
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  to this so late in the day that you're like, what is the point? There is a point.
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  So just jump in, harness that excitement again, and let's go with it.
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  So today is all about having the fun, the stuff that you see people who set
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  goals and work towards them and create the vision boards and do all the little goal setting.
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  Like today's the day you're allowed to have fun with it. We're just going to
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  tweak it a little bit so it suits our brains a little bit better.
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  Than a lot of the stuff you see.
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  One of the main things we will see out there this time of year is that you pick
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  your word of the year and you create your vision board and you set your goals
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  and then you put them in a calendar and then you'll do them.
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  Where I don't think it's quite that easy. Our brains don't necessarily obey
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  something that's scheduled a calendar.
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  We just don't. If we even remember to check the calendar.
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  So we're going to do things a little bit differently. We are going to go ahead,
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  if you feel like you want a word for the year, go for it. Have a word of the year.
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  My suggestion with your word of the year is possibly pair it with something
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  that is a visual because our brains are very visual.
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  If you're not the type of person who's like, I'm not going to make a vision
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  board because I don't believe in those things, but I do want to feel like I
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  have sort of this word of the year because that's kind of fun.
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  And I think it's totally cool if
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  your word is something like jump into the new year or then find a little frog
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  stuffed animal of your kids or a little kangaroo and put it somewhere and move
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  it around kind of like you did the elf on the shelf so that it's in your sight
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  and it makes you smile because only you know that's your push.
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  Or if it's something about taking steps and you can find some random old baby
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  shoe that you loved that makes you still smile but you were supposed to donate it,
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  move it around, put it somewhere like by the kitchen sink. Maybe we don't have
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  shoes by the kitchen sink.
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  I can tell this is the third time I'm recording it. I feel like the other two
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  times made more sense but I think you get my point.
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  If you can find a physical representation of what your goal was,
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  then, or your word of the year is, then go for it, because that's a really great
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  way to keep it in our brains. All right.
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  Secondly, I want you to focus really strongly on this finite 26 for 26 list.
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  This is not a goal like I am going to walk 10,000 steps every day.
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  If that's one of your goals, that's awesome. And I'm not saying don't do that,
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  but I don't want it to be where we have to track it every day and we're going
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  to possibly have days that don't work so that then we get let down and then
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  we don't pick it back up when we miss a day. I want us to have things that are...
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  Concrete, and checkoffable, because that's a word.
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  Anyway, let me give you an example. Let's say improved health is one of your
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  sort of overall goals for 2026.
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  We're going to call all of our goals aims, because when we aim at the target,
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  we might not hit exactly what we wanted, but we're going to be in the right
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  direction, and being in the right direction is really awesome.
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  So if you, for instance, are saying to yourself,
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  I want to be healthier, but that's really vague and sort of odd and weird,
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  then maybe you say a finite goal is, I am going to buy a new outfit after I
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  have gone to 30 workouts.
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  Gone to can be anything you want to. It can be that you signed yourself up to try a new yoga studio.
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  It can be that you did 30 Orange Theory workouts.
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  It can be that you walked out of your door and took a thousand steps.
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  And each one of those days that you do that counts as one of your 30.
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  But the point being, the concrete thing that you're going to check off the list
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  is that you got to buy yourself a new outfit.
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  And the buying yourself new outfit doesn't happen unless you did whatever your
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  equivalent of 30 workouts is or 30 movement exercises or whatever. you don't have to say 30.
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  It doesn't have to be buying something new. It can be whatever.
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  I think you're getting the point. I'm just trying to give you concrete illustrations.
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  Or instead of saying we're going to be healthier this year as this vague weird thing,
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  you're going to say I will this month call and set all the pediatrician appointments for the year and.
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  Put those on the calendar. I'm going to make all the dentist appointments for the year.
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  I'm going to, or you already know you made them, but that was six months ago.
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  You're going to go and call the dentist and say, when were those appointments?
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  I just got a new calendar and I want to get them down.
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  Whatever the case is, those are concrete things you can do that you can check off.
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  It can make you stop and say, gosh, I'm of an age where I maybe I'm supposed
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  to be having a mammogram.
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  Or I worry about all the pediatrician appointments, but I never make one for myself.
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  Maybe that's your January goal is that all the appointments get made.
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  That is a step in the correct healthy direction, and it's concrete, and we can check it off.
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  We don't have to feel like, oh, we missed a day and now we can't.
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  Or if it's something like, I want to clean with more natural cleaners, then you say,
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  I will clean out my cleaners and because I refuse to be wasteful and I can't
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  bring myself to throw them out, I'm going to line them all up in the hallway.
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  Okay, don't do it where your kids are not safe. I'm going to line them all up
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  on the sink and I'm going to have to keep noticing them then.
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  They're in my way until I use them all up and then I have permission to go out
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  and get all natural cleaners or glass bottles to just use vinegar and baking soda in.
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  I hope that these make sense as you're just sitting here today as daydreaming.
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  Like what have I always said I've wanted to do? I've wanted to use natural cleaners,
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  but every time I want to go do the natural cleaner thing, I don't have the bottles
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  to put them in or I'm still have all those like,
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  chemical-y ones sitting in the cupboard, and I feel bad getting rid of those.
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  So get them where you have to literally like be annoyed by them so that you will use them up, right?
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  If the side bonus is all of a sudden you're cleaning your bathrooms every day
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  because you're trying to use those up, then bonus. That's like awesome.
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  I'm going to literally pause this right now because I am actually in the middle
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  of accountability session with my membership group, and my timer went off,
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  which was the beep you heard.
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  And then I'm going to start recording again. Okay, I'm back.
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  Briefly interrupted. I'm going to make my own little commercial here.
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  I have a membership group. Inside the membership group, the whole point is that
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  we have these accountability sessions so that we can have all these dreams and
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  then have them fall flat.
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  We never actually act on them because we need some help with the accountability.
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  And so my membership group is just fellow fish brains like me,
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  who will set a timer and we work together over Zoom.
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  I mean, we're each doing our own thing, but we're checking in with each other
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  every 15 minutes to go, you know, what did you get done? Did you get sidetracked?
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  What are you working on the next 15? What do you want me to ask you about?
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  Things like that, so that we are actually accomplishing things.
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  If you are curious about that, I'm sort of shifting things up and around about the membership.
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  But if you go to my website, which is joylivinghome.com slash membership,
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  you end up at the membership page.
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  There is a waitlist bucket and bucket button.
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  There you go. There's a waitlist button. If you want to be put on that, it will open soon.
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  I'm just trying to get some other things in place before I open it. So.
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  Stay tuned. Keep listening to the podcast. I will announce when all the new
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  changes are happening when I'm welcoming new members in.
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  But in the meantime, I will say this has been endlessly helpful to all of us that are in there.
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  And there's some of the greatest ladies you'll ever meet because they're all just like us.
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  So anyway, I digress again, but I did want to swing back through and say,
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  as we're creating our 26 for 26 list, nothing is off the table.
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  Get all the thoughts down.
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  You might have more than 26. You might have to bundle some things together.
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  You might decide, yeah, I don't think so.
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  I will say as a way of tips, put some things in that are really quick,
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  almost already in place as a way of accomplishing them so that you can get some quick wins.
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  That's not cheating. That's encouraging ourselves to work within ourselves to be successful.
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  The whole goal is to be successful. And every time we get a win,
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  we get that hit of dopamine that wants us to keep going.
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  So instead of laying out this, I'm going to work out.
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  57 times during the course of the year, and we have to wait to the end of the
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  year to celebrate, we're celebrating quick wins much earlier because we have
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  these finite things that we can check off.
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  So here's another example. I really want to go through all of my linens.
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  I want only two sets of sheets per bed in my house.
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  I want to have the ones that are in really great quality are the ones that I
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  want to keep and the ones that are awful or, you know, don't need to be on anybody's bed.
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  I mean, I can donate the ones that are still in decent shape if I just have too many.
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  If I have ones that aren't in great shape, I want to donate them to an animal
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  shelter along with old towels.
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  And I have too many rags now that I use to clean with.
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  I don't need all of these things, but an animal shelter can use them.
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  So in that sense, I can get myself two great wins to check off by saying,
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  organize linen closets, make a donation to an animal shelter.
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  I can do two things off my list. And the trick,
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  I guess, or the tip or the hack of making myself get all of those excess linens
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  all the way out of my house and not just,
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  well, yeah, I bundled them up and they're still sitting in the corner of the
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  garage or they're still in my trunk and I drive around with them is that I can't
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  check it off the list until I actually go through with the donation part.
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  And now I get to check that off the list too, which is a twofer.
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  Another great way as you are brain dumping and you're trying to figure out how
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  to pair all these things together is to find some accountability through something you.
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  Struggle to do with something you look forward to doing.
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  So if it's, I never think about doing anything in the maintenance of my home,
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  but I love to listen to podcasts,
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  make yourself only listen to podcasts if you're vacuuming with your headphones
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  on or if you're scrubbing bathrooms.
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  Or in my case, I really, really want to exercise more this year.
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  And I really want to pick up the hobby of watercoloring. I gave myself permission
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  over the holidays to start this online watercolor course that I'm loving.
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  And now I want to do, she has this like 30 days in your practice book series.
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  And I want to do those so much. Like I'm so excited to start that series.
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  So I am letting myself no I cannot
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  do a scrapbook series
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  lesson unless I've
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  done some sort of movement and I've qualified
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  what those movements are for myself so it's the the
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  jump on my little mini trampoline for at least
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  10 minutes or walk at least
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  two miles or do at least a
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  10 minute weight routine those three things give
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  me permission to allow myself to go sit down and do mine in my watercolor lessons
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  so those are the pairings of things that you can do as you're having fun thinking
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  through your 26 for 26 list so recapping because I feel like I got very scattered here but.
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  Today is the day to dream. You've thought about who you're doing this for and
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  why you're doing it, but now you're taking the time to go, I want a word of
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  the year and I want some symbol for it.
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  I want to start thinking about categories first.
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  I want there to be something about health and something about nutrition and
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  something about home and something about decluttering and something about hobby
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  and something about time with family and carving out actual date nights,
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  whatever your categories are, then you can start thinking about how do I make
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  these concrete and get them into a list of 26 things.
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  And when I say list, I say that word very lightly because I only like to use
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  non-linear pending lists.
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  And we're going to dig into that and how to do those types of plans tomorrow.
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  I hope you'll join me again as we are building our runway series.
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  All right, until then, continue to choose joy.