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Grounding Practices for Mental Health: How to Center Yourself and Strengthen Your Self-Relationship · Stacked Intent: Your Guide to Authentic, Intentional Living

0:00
SPEAKER_01: Hello and welcome to the Stacked Intent Podcast.
0:03
SPEAKER_01: We are going to discuss and drop the tips on how you can intentionally stack your life.
0:08
SPEAKER_01: I'm Becca Stackhouse Morrison, the CEO and founder of Stacked Intent, and I look forward to having you join us each week during our episodes.
0:16
SPEAKER_01: Stacked Intent is a family life education business that is resonating with individuals who aspire to rediscover or discover their most authentic version of themselves.
0:29
SPEAKER_01: Too often our society beautifies a relationship via romantic family or friendship, but that doesn't teach the true meaning of healthy relationship boundaries.
0:40
SPEAKER_01: This led a passion to share with individuals through each transition that it is truly possible to live an understanding that is healthy and it's possible when you understand your most authentic version of yourself.
0:53
SPEAKER_01: From a place of pain, of losing friendships, becoming one-directional friendships, or simply these two were temporary along life's road.
1:03
SPEAKER_01: It is important to know and practice the keys to creating well-balanced and healthy relationships.
1:09
SPEAKER_01: There are relationship breakups and choosing to be single with much reflection to develop of the authentic version of self.
1:17
SPEAKER_01: From all these places, stacked intent was created to provide these research resources through research-based information.
1:26
SPEAKER_01: We're going to look at the ways that you can be your most authentic self and be intentional with yourself.
1:33
SPEAKER_01: You'll laugh, you'll cry, and you're going to finish each episode being motivated to live your life more authentically.
1:40
SPEAKER_01: Be with it.
1:41
SPEAKER_01: But with each episode, we're going to have a special co-host, and I'm going to let her introduce herself.
1:49
SPEAKER_00: Hi, I'm Sarah Bradley, a licensed marriage and family therapist and owner of Hope Grows Therapy and Consultation.
1:56
SPEAKER_00: My practice is located in beautiful downtown Wakamka, Alabama.
1:59
SPEAKER_00: I grew up in rural Alabama, and my passion is investing in my community by investing in its people.
2:05
SPEAKER_00: At Hope Grows, we seek to do this by working to help people improve the health of their relationships, their families, their businesses, and themselves.
2:12
SPEAKER_00: In addition to talk therapy, we offer consultation services to organizations like churches and businesses to help them improve their organizational health through workshops, conferences, and intensives.
2:22
SPEAKER_00: I'm really excited to be here today and looking forward to talking about some of the most common issues that come up in my therapy session.
2:28
SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Stacked and Tip Podcast.
2:32
SPEAKER_01: Welcome back to our relationship tip segment of Stacked and Pit.
2:37
SPEAKER_01: And today we're going to talk about ways that you can ground your self-relationship because we're still building on what that healthy self-relationship looks like and giving you some tools in your toolbox to help you.
2:50
SPEAKER_01: So we're going to talk about ways grounding matters for self-relationships.
2:54
SPEAKER_01: We're going to look at what internal grounding practices can look like and how you might be able to exercise them and reflect with yourself.
3:01
SPEAKER_01: And we're going to even look at some external grounding practices.
3:04
SPEAKER_01: So today we're going to dive into those ways to ground with yourself.
3:09
SPEAKER_01: And so this is looking at how you cultivate that deep relationship with your inner self.
3:15
SPEAKER_01: And this is looking at some thoughts, feelings, desires that are without judgment and the way that you might be treating you.
3:25
SPEAKER_01: And so this is learning to tap into yourself through some grounding versions of how that can be healthy.
3:33
SPEAKER_01: So Sarah and I are going to chat today and we're going to talk about how you might be able to reflect on yourself and those relationships throughout the years of the healthy self.
3:44
SPEAKER_01: And so think about the moments that you have for some self-awareness, maybe focus in a space that keeps you rooted, centered, and helps.
3:56
SPEAKER_01: So we are going to chat and we're going to look at that grounding and practice so that you can really look at how you consider yourself.
4:04
SPEAKER_01: So we're going to start with our first topic, which is why does grounding matter for a self-relationship?
4:12
SPEAKER_00: So I think that one thing that's important is for us to actually define what grounding is.
4:17
SPEAKER_00: And many of us know what grounding is.
4:19
SPEAKER_00: It's something that's been bandied about in common parlance over the last few years of as mental health culture has kind of risen to more prominence.
4:27
SPEAKER_00: But let's let's let's really get down to it.
4:30
SPEAKER_00: So grounding is bringing yourself back to emotional stability and self-connection when you feel scattered, stressed, or disconnected.
4:38
SPEAKER_00: So when you feel scattered, stressed, you feel um sometimes it can feel like we call it depersonalization or derealization, right?
4:46
SPEAKER_00: It feels like you're viewing yourself from you feel like there's so many thoughts in your head you can't hear what's going on in your present environment.
4:54
SPEAKER_00: I've even had people who have um blacked out when they've gotten a severe, more severe form of dissociation.
5:01
SPEAKER_00: I've had people say it feels like I'm looking down at the room from, you know, the top corner of the room where I'm viewing what's going on from outside my body.
5:07
SPEAKER_00: And those are more severe cases, obviously, but we all feel that sort of level of dissociation or scatteredness or disconnectedness on a semi-regular basis.
5:17
SPEAKER_00: That's a human, that's a human response to things, right?
5:19
SPEAKER_00: Stuff's getting really tough.
5:20
SPEAKER_00: That's our brain's way of pulling us back a little bit to see if it can give us a little bit of a breather.
5:25
SPEAKER_00: And sometimes it can be helpful, and sometimes it can make things worse.
5:29
SPEAKER_00: So, grounding is the idea of putting your feet literally back on the ground and remembering I'm standing here, I'm sitting here, this is where I am, I'm in my environment.
5:40
SPEAKER_00: I'm pulling my head out of the clouds, out of my stress and sticking it right back where it belongs on my shoulders and in the present space.
5:51
SPEAKER_01: And so there's lots of ways that you can do that.
5:53
SPEAKER_01: Grounding, there's ways that you're looking, and it can be a self-soothing skill that you develop for your good days, but you develop for what your bad days look like.
6:04
SPEAKER_01: And so that can look in how you're able to resettle and what your moment is.
6:09
SPEAKER_01: Because even in our hardest days, we can find something to help bring us back.
6:14
SPEAKER_01: And so one of the ways that we'll talk about later a little bit more, but one way is you can do a five-four-three-two-one of seeing five things, feeling four things, hearing three things, smelling two, and even tasting one.
6:28
SPEAKER_01: And so it might look like you take in some solid breath and you look at what's beneath your feet, and it applies to you as an individual and finding what your personal peace looks like.
6:41
SPEAKER_01: And in a couple relationships, it's looking at making sure you're understood, supported, and connected there.
6:48
SPEAKER_01: So it's being able to prevent some of that stressful time.
6:53
SPEAKER_01: So, how do we do that?
6:55
SPEAKER_00: I mean, you know, one way that we can think about if we if we sort of look at it in reality, what's happening to us in those moments when we are stressed and disconnected, it's it can be a form of self-abandonment.
7:06
SPEAKER_00: We can we forget ourselves in our bodies when we're under stress.
7:09
SPEAKER_00: And sometimes that's really helpful and beneficial, right?
7:12
SPEAKER_00: Like those moms who lift cars off of their babies in, you know, in severe situations when, you know, you have that adrenaline rush and you're in the thick of the crisis and you're getting stuff done, and it's only after the fact that you feel pain or you feel, you know, the next day, mom's like, Why are my shoulders dislocated?
7:30
SPEAKER_00: Well, you lifted a car yesterday.
7:32
SPEAKER_00: That's that's why you saved your baby and you dislocated your shoulders.
7:36
SPEAKER_00: So congratulations, you did good.
7:38
SPEAKER_00: Um, we can forget ourselves, and like I said, that can be helpful and beneficial until it isn't.
7:44
SPEAKER_00: And when we're in a severe crisis like that, where there's a spike of crisis and then everything relaxes and we go back to a sense of normalcy or stasis, then your body relaxes, you go back to a sense of normalcy, you're good.
7:55
SPEAKER_00: Um, but if you're under chronic stress or under chronic psychological stress, particularly, you're you don't you don't return to that place of peace and calm and stasis.
8:04
SPEAKER_00: Your stasis becomes stress.
8:07
SPEAKER_00: So we we stay in that place of forgetting what our bodies need, forgetting what our emotional needs are, and not really paying attention to what's going on in our hearts and in our heads until we run into something that forces us to do so.
8:20
SPEAKER_00: And now we've got everything piled up and we're in a tough spot.
8:23
SPEAKER_00: So when you do a grounding exercise or you make grounding a part of your regular routine, then it can help regulate your emotions before they get so high and piled up that they start to spill into your relationships or decision making.
8:36
SPEAKER_00: Um, and it also builds trust with yourself.
8:38
SPEAKER_00: Like I can bring myself back, is what you sort of say.
8:40
SPEAKER_00: Like I can bring myself back when I'm feeling scattered, stressed, or disconnected.
8:44
SPEAKER_00: I can, you know, I can feel stressed and it's not a threat because I know that when I have a moment, I'm gonna ground myself and I'm gonna be okay.
8:51
SPEAKER_00: And so I can I have the strength and the capacity to push a little bit or to exist in a period of heightened activation because I know that in a few minutes I can trust myself to self-soothe and reground and calm myself and bring myself back every time.
9:07
SPEAKER_00: So I have a sort of an increased flexibility and confidence in my own ability to take care of myself.
9:14
SPEAKER_01: Helping you and your truest self be able to get the strength and the vulnerability of the feelings that you might be having.
9:22
SPEAKER_01: And it's a skill.
9:23
SPEAKER_01: This is a skill that you have to build.
9:25
SPEAKER_01: And so being one of those, it's really, really tough in the beginning, but you're able to build to it and you're able to get into that self-regulation.
9:35
SPEAKER_01: And it's remembering that you have space, you have the space to grow, you have the space to accept, and you you've got to just look at what your goal is of how you want to work towards being able to ground yourself.
9:48
SPEAKER_01: And it's thinking about looking at self-connection, it's cultivating that you've got it, you have to cultivate it, you have to give your space to, which is sometimes why you've got to have some quiet space.
10:01
SPEAKER_01: Always turning on the TV or always turning out music or always picking up the phone to call somebody.
10:08
SPEAKER_01: Those are ways that you're gonna have struggle to find some self-regulation because you're looking for outside sources to help you in that regulation.
10:17
SPEAKER_01: So it's finding that space to be able to trust yourself, give yourself that ability to bring yourself back to a community.
10:27
SPEAKER_01: And so we look at that through some internal grounding practices.
10:31
SPEAKER_01: So, how does that start?
10:33
SPEAKER_01: Why isn't ground internal grounding practices important for us?
10:37
SPEAKER_00: Because, like you just said, we need to be able to, we need to have a toolbox we carry with us.
10:42
SPEAKER_00: And we recognize that, you know, if I'm I I can't do, I can't do a lot of external grounding practices, which we'll talk about in a moment, um, when I'm sitting in my office all day.
10:52
SPEAKER_00: Or what if I'm in therapy and something happens to activate me and I can't just be like, excuse me, I'm gonna go on a walk outside for a moment to soothe myself.
11:01
SPEAKER_00: I could, um, and there are some therapists who engage in that kind of therapy, uh, but that's not typically how we work over here.
11:08
SPEAKER_00: So I need to be able to regulate myself.
11:10
SPEAKER_00: Um, or if I'm if I'm home with my kids and my kids are hollering and you know, being children and having a rough time, and I need to be able to regulate myself so I can help them regulate, then I need to have that toolbox on my hip, right?
11:23
SPEAKER_00: I need to be able to do something inside my head and inside my body that I can access instantly in any given point.
11:31
SPEAKER_00: And so one of the first things that you need in order to be able to do that is to recognize that you need it.
11:37
SPEAKER_00: So recognize when you're becoming overwhelmed or stuck in your head.
11:40
SPEAKER_00: What does that feel like?
11:41
SPEAKER_00: What does it feel like in your head?
11:42
SPEAKER_00: What does it feel like in your body?
11:44
SPEAKER_00: Um, for me personally, I get a tight feeling in my chest or my I get foggy in my brain.
11:50
SPEAKER_00: I get a lot of thoughts just swirling around my head, and all of a sudden I recognize I've been standing or sitting still and sort of lost in thought for several seconds, if not a minute or two.
11:59
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, oh, okay, I'm probably a little overwhelmed or stuck.
12:02
SPEAKER_00: What do I need to do to kind of reground myself physically and psychologically so that I can move forward here?
12:09
SPEAKER_00: Some people describe um feeling nauseous or there's a tightness in their stomach or their shoulders are really tense or their back's really tense, they clench their hands, um, they clench their jaw.
12:20
SPEAKER_00: Uh, you know, just recognize for you personally what is the feeling in your body and what is the feeling in your mind when you start to feel overwhelmed or stuck.
12:28
SPEAKER_00: When you've when you've lost your sense of grounding, what does it feel like?
12:32
SPEAKER_00: And once you, once you've got that pinned down, you can sort of set little, you can start setting little alarms in your head, like, oh, I feel this way.
12:39
SPEAKER_00: We talked about that.
12:40
SPEAKER_00: I know what that means.
12:41
SPEAKER_00: That means now I need to initiate my grounding procedures and practices.
12:46
SPEAKER_00: So what do I need to do first?
12:48
SPEAKER_00: Um, and some of the things that we do that are great internal grounding practices are like you mentioned earlier, Becca, mindful breathing.
12:55
SPEAKER_00: So taking a breath, deep breath in and out as long and slow and deep as you can, and paying attention to the way it feels.
13:03
SPEAKER_00: How does it feel coming in through your mouth or your nose?
13:05
SPEAKER_00: How does it feel in your throat?
13:06
SPEAKER_00: How does it feel in your chest?
13:08
SPEAKER_00: Um, can you feel your heartbeat?
13:10
SPEAKER_00: How does it feel when you exhale?
13:12
SPEAKER_00: Right.
13:12
SPEAKER_00: So I'm I'm not being mindful about something just means I am paying my whole attention to a thing.
13:19
SPEAKER_00: Is that I'm drinking tea mindfully?
13:22
SPEAKER_00: Is that I'm breathing mindfully?
13:23
SPEAKER_00: Is that I'm eating mindfully, right?
13:25
SPEAKER_00: It's what I'm doing and using my full mind to pay attention to it.
13:29
SPEAKER_00: Um, and uh just a word of caution with the mindful breathing.
13:33
SPEAKER_00: For some people, that's very effective.
13:35
SPEAKER_00: For some people, it's not.
13:36
SPEAKER_00: There are some people, especially if you're having a panic attack or you're on the verge of having a panic attack or your heart rate is really elevated, that if you pay close attention to your breathing, where's your trachea?
13:47
SPEAKER_00: Right near your heart.
13:48
SPEAKER_00: And so you're paying attention to your breathing and you're also paying attention to the way your heart is racing, and that is anxiety provoking for you.
13:56
SPEAKER_00: So if that is the case, mindful breathing probably is not something you need to do when you're in that particular state.
14:02
SPEAKER_00: When you're a little stressed and you take some deep mindful breaths, great, maybe that works for you.
14:06
SPEAKER_00: But when you're really, really intensely stressed, maybe we go for a different grounding technique.
14:12
SPEAKER_00: Just if it doesn't work for you, don't give up on the whole thing.
14:15
SPEAKER_00: Try something else.
14:16
SPEAKER_00: Um, and so like Becca said, the 54321, the sensory awareness techniques are really helpful.
14:21
SPEAKER_00: Um, the 54321 can be a little complicated for some people.
14:24
SPEAKER_00: So I personally in my office, I use a lot of, I call it the three things.
14:28
SPEAKER_00: So it's a different version of that.
14:30
SPEAKER_00: It's three things you can see, three things you can hear, and three things you can physically feel, not emotionally feel.
14:35
SPEAKER_00: We already know what we're feeling, but physically feel, right?
14:38
SPEAKER_00: So, you know, my feet, the pressure of my feet against the floor, the feeling of my clothes on my skin, the pressure of the chair against my back, right?
14:45
SPEAKER_00: Things I can feel, a breeze in the room, that kind of thing.
14:48
SPEAKER_00: Um, and that it's great to do those kind of sensory awareness things outside as well, but you can do them inside.
14:54
SPEAKER_00: And it can be a little bit tougher, which can be a little more helpful because it takes a little bit more concentration to be able to think of three things you can hear in a quiet office space.
15:02
SPEAKER_00: So that's that's kind of a fun one to kind of figure out.
15:08
SPEAKER_01: And it's it's looking at being able to, okay, if the breathing doesn't work for you, that's part of that building that healthy self-relationship.
15:17
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
15:18
SPEAKER_01: In this panic state, this does not work for me.
15:21
SPEAKER_01: But if I'm able to go in on a two-minute walk outside, it works for me.
15:26
SPEAKER_01: And so it's finding those things that work, it's finding what is good.
15:31
SPEAKER_01: And so it's looking at stabilizing your emotions and being present and being mindful and learning what those states of mind look like for you.
15:40
SPEAKER_01: And so it's knowing that being grounded, it's understanding what your need is, self-soothing, self-soothing affirmations, grounding truths of I'm safe, I'm here, I can do this hard thing.
15:56
SPEAKER_01: And so it's like we were talking about of maybe that you keep a journal of the hard things that you're able to accomplish, and when you look back on it, you're able to reflect on I made it through that hard.
16:08
SPEAKER_01: I can make it through this hard.
16:14
SPEAKER_01: Or you can help in that present.
16:16
SPEAKER_01: And it might even be this is when you talk to somebody in your circle, a therapist, a coach, and you are they might be able to help you look at some of those browning practices, or look at what you have been able to do.
16:32
SPEAKER_01: And so once you've learned that, you may be able to find those better ways in resolving your conflict.
16:40
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
16:44
SPEAKER_00: I mean, and other things that are helpful as well are things like body scans.
16:48
SPEAKER_00: Um, and that I encourage you to go on YouTube and look up a good body scan.
16:52
SPEAKER_00: Everybody has different preferences as far as who's walking you through it.
16:54
SPEAKER_00: Some people prefer a quiet male voice or a quiet female voice.
16:58
SPEAKER_00: It's everybody's got their own jam.
16:59
SPEAKER_00: And if you want it, they got it on the YouTube.
17:02
SPEAKER_00: So, um, and a body scan is just a a walkthrough of intentionally doing mindful breathing and relaxing each portion of your body in a slow way, usually from your feet all the way up through your head, and then just doing one final sweep.
17:16
SPEAKER_00: Um, those can be super helpful, and that's something you can do personally alone in your own head.
17:20
SPEAKER_00: Um, you can do that if, especially if you're struggling with chronic pain, a body scan, and intentionally relaxing those tense muscles can be really helpful.
17:28
SPEAKER_00: And noticing those tension points.
17:30
SPEAKER_00: I know that I carry tension in the back of my neck, my shoulders, and my jaw.
17:35
SPEAKER_00: So when I'm stressed out or when I have a migraine, I know that those points particularly are going to be radiating tension and pain.
17:41
SPEAKER_00: And so I focus my intentional grounding on those points and relaxing those muscles and giving those muscles attention.
17:48
SPEAKER_00: But like you said, Becca, you have to know what you need.
17:51
SPEAKER_00: You have to be aware of those things in yourself in order to be able to address them.
17:55
SPEAKER_00: And when you're talking about self-affirmation, you know, like you said, that I'm safe.
17:59
SPEAKER_00: I'm here, I'm present in this moment.
18:01
SPEAKER_00: I'm not in my head in my trauma, right?
18:04
SPEAKER_00: If I'm thinking, if I'm stuck in a traumatic moment mentally, where grounding can be really helpful because, hey, I'm here.
18:09
SPEAKER_00: I'm not in that room where this thing happened.
18:11
SPEAKER_00: I'm not in my childhood home where this thing happened.
18:14
SPEAKER_00: I'm not in a car that I had a car accident, right?
18:17
SPEAKER_00: I'm here.
18:18
SPEAKER_00: I'm sitting here, I'm in this moment, my feet are on the ground in this room.
18:21
SPEAKER_00: I'm not there.
18:22
SPEAKER_00: And so grounding can be really helpful, especially when you're dealing with issues of trauma.
18:27
SPEAKER_00: And also when you're speaking to yourself, reminding yourself, this thing, this moment will not end me.
18:33
SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes that's what anxiety whispers to you is that I'm not gonna make it through this, right?
18:38
SPEAKER_00: This thing is gonna be so bad that X, Y, Z is gonna happen.
18:41
SPEAKER_00: And if we take a moment and insert some reality into those distorted cognitions, we can go, actually, probably not.
18:48
SPEAKER_00: That's probably not the case.
18:50
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to be okay.
18:51
SPEAKER_00: This will not end me right now.
18:53
SPEAKER_00: And I can ask for help if I need to.
18:55
SPEAKER_00: I'm not doing this by myself.
18:57
SPEAKER_00: I can ask for help if I need to.
18:59
SPEAKER_00: So I can get through this moment and I can call my friend or my parent or my spouse or my therapist or whoever and ask for their my the assistance of my community in getting through things.
19:10
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
19:11
SPEAKER_01: The internal grounding and finding those ways of staying the safe.
19:15
SPEAKER_01: I'd say that my husband and I really just practice this.
19:19
SPEAKER_01: And it even came to NICU nurses of like having a baby that was in a NICU.
19:25
SPEAKER_01: We had to keep reminding ourselves of like he's here, but he's safely here.
19:31
SPEAKER_01: Yes, his lungs weren't fully developed, but he's still here and he's able to still be here.
19:38
SPEAKER_01: And we even had the pediatrician at the hospital remind us of I mean, he was a preemie, but he was a seven-pound preemie, so he didn't look like a preemie baby that was five weeks early.
19:49
SPEAKER_01: And so using some of these grounding of, yeah, we're here, but we're safe, we're okay, we're able to be here, and we can get through the hard things.
20:01
SPEAKER_01: We got through the hard things of his first few days, and then the hard things of continuing that development.
20:06
SPEAKER_01: And so it's looking at what's your situation right now and finding how you can be that internal grounding, because you have to you have to find some of that self-soothing for yourself, and that way you can be there for the other person, or even in a friendship, or wherever you're showing up, once you're able to find your your own self-soothing soothing internal grounding practices, you can turn around and help the people around you.
20:43
SPEAKER_01: How does this play into our external grounding practices?
20:47
SPEAKER_00: So, internal grounding is just what we can do ourselves, right?
20:50
SPEAKER_00: What happens inside of our own heads and in our own bodies?
20:53
SPEAKER_00: What can I do self-contained without any outside resources?
20:57
SPEAKER_00: Um, and so external is going to be the opposite.
21:00
SPEAKER_00: What can I do that connects me to my environment and my community?
21:03
SPEAKER_00: So, nature connection is an ancient one and it's an excellent one.
21:08
SPEAKER_00: So, walking, walking outside in your yard, walking barefoot outside in your yard, right?
21:14
SPEAKER_00: That's that's a whole different level of sensation.
21:16
SPEAKER_00: And some people hate that and some people love it.
21:19
SPEAKER_00: So just sort of up again, watching yourself, paying attention to yourself.
21:23
SPEAKER_00: Is this something that's beneficial to me to go put my feet in the nice, healthy grass in my front yard?
21:29
SPEAKER_00: Or is my yard full of sticks and rocks and pine cones and it hurts?
21:33
SPEAKER_00: And I should just wear my shoes.
21:35
SPEAKER_00: Um, let's just, you know, pay attention to that.
21:38
SPEAKER_00: Um, noticing sights and sounds, right?
21:40
SPEAKER_00: What does it sound like when my feet crunch on the ground?
21:43
SPEAKER_00: What do I hear?
21:44
SPEAKER_00: Are there birds in the trees?
21:45
SPEAKER_00: Is there wind?
21:46
SPEAKER_00: Is there, you know, road noise?
21:47
SPEAKER_00: Am I near a highway?
21:48
SPEAKER_00: What can I hear?
21:49
SPEAKER_00: What can I see?
21:50
SPEAKER_00: What can I smell?
21:51
SPEAKER_00: Right?
21:51
SPEAKER_00: Don't be tasting stuff outside in the environment.
21:54
SPEAKER_00: Don't do that unless you're a forager and you know what you're doing.
21:58
SPEAKER_00: Um, but you know, my In my herb garden, and I can rub the mint between my fingers or the rosemary, and I love the way it smells.
22:05
SPEAKER_00: Um, and then mindful walking, which is again, we talked about mindfulness.
22:09
SPEAKER_00: What does that mean?
22:10
SPEAKER_00: Being fully mindful in the moment, being thoughtful in the moment, and walking slowly and thinking about this is what my foot feels on the ground, this is the breeze on my face, this is what I'm hearing, this is what I'm seeing, this is what I'm experiencing.
22:23
SPEAKER_00: Which leads to sort of movement and tactile grounding, like yoga, stretching things, stretching, stretching your muscles, stretching with objects, holding on to an object, um, like sort of asking yourself, what do I feel?
22:38
SPEAKER_00: Um, oh, there's a jet flying over the office.
22:41
SPEAKER_00: Hopefully that doesn't come through the audio.
22:44
SPEAKER_00: Love those F-35s.
22:46
SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, walking, like I have, I have, I was very intentional in my office with things that we can touch, right?
22:53
SPEAKER_00: I have velvet pillows, I have a velvet couch, I have a soft blanket, I have hard things as well.
22:59
SPEAKER_00: I have coasters that are made of wood that have texture on them, so you can touch them, rub your fingers over them.
23:04
SPEAKER_00: Um, texture is I'm kind of I'm a tactile person, so touch is important to me.
23:08
SPEAKER_00: My clothing is all natural fibers and it's comfortable.
23:12
SPEAKER_00: I don't buy things that aren't comfortable because who needs that?
23:16
SPEAKER_00: Life is too short.
23:18
SPEAKER_00: Um, so what how can you ground yourself in a tactile sense?
23:23
SPEAKER_00: I an exercise I did with a group a long time ago was it was fall, and we had loads of beautiful Bradford pear leaves that were turning these vibrant shades of red and orange and yellow.
23:32
SPEAKER_00: And I went out in the yard and gathered a basket full of leaves and passed them out to the group and said, Okay, we're gonna spend five minutes and you're gonna tell me everything you notice about this leaf.
23:40
SPEAKER_00: And so they spent five minutes in silence, touching and smelling and looking, and nobody tasted, thankfully, because gross.
23:48
SPEAKER_00: But they were, you know, I had somebody say, There are there are 76 little um points on the edge of this leaf, like the border of it is ridged, and these are all the ridges that I counted, and I was like, wow, that's awesome.
24:00
SPEAKER_00: Um, and you know, they I can see the light when I hold it up this way, and the veins do this, and it smells like this, and it feels like that.
24:07
SPEAKER_00: Um, and being paying attention to things in your environment, but moving, stretching, noticing the way that your body feels when you do that.
24:16
SPEAKER_00: Does your body feel strained?
24:18
SPEAKER_00: Does it feel invigorated?
24:20
SPEAKER_00: How's your breathing?
24:21
SPEAKER_00: What's going on with that?
24:22
SPEAKER_00: Um, and that can be obviously we all know that exercise is very helpful to us just as humans in general, especially if you're living a sedentary life.
24:30
SPEAKER_00: But introducing those kinds of grounding practices can be really helpful as well.
24:34
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
24:35
SPEAKER_01: And when we talk about movement and grounding, one that has helped me is in jujitsu.
24:41
SPEAKER_01: In jujitsu, that movement of grounding of when you get in a really, really tough spot, going, taking the deep breath and being able to work the puzzle to get out of the tough spot.
24:54
SPEAKER_01: You can do that, and my that's why I love to start my day with that, because when you can do that and you've gotten out from a guy that's 50 or 60 pounds heavier than you, nothing else in the day seems challenging.
25:09
SPEAKER_01: Really hard spot of somebody that's a lot bigger.
25:13
SPEAKER_01: And so it's that's it's grounding, and so it's finding the movements that ground you.
25:18
SPEAKER_01: If yoga and stretching don't do it for you, is it walking?
25:22
SPEAKER_01: Is it swimming?
25:24
SPEAKER_01: Is it or is it your exercise?
25:26
SPEAKER_01: And so it's going back to what does that relationship with yourself look like?
25:31
SPEAKER_01: Of what are the movements that help?
25:33
SPEAKER_01: And the next one's just great.
25:35
SPEAKER_01: It's creative of creative grounding.
25:38
SPEAKER_01: So that can be an art, a hobby, a music, something that's hands-on.
25:43
SPEAKER_01: One that for me has been really, really helpful is I've done it in two ways.
25:48
SPEAKER_01: When years ago, when I worked as a county extension agent, I went to a class to paint door hangers.
25:55
SPEAKER_01: So I now have dozens of door hangers, but it was that creative grounding of being able to just be creative in the end of my day.
26:03
SPEAKER_01: No matter what my day was, I could at the end of the day not look at a screen, not talk to anybody if I didn't want to.
26:10
SPEAKER_01: But I got to be creative with what my door hangers look like.
26:13
SPEAKER_01: So creative grounding is important.
26:15
SPEAKER_01: And now I live down the road from a floral workshop, a floral boutique.
26:20
SPEAKER_01: And so she does classes all month long of different workshops, whether it's just floral design in the workshop or floral design and painting, or there's she's got lots of different ones she's doing.
26:33
SPEAKER_01: And so it's being creative with floral design, it's being creative with putting bouquets together.
26:39
SPEAKER_01: And the fun thing with that one is you then get to take the bouquet home and enjoy it.
26:43
SPEAKER_01: So I like that.
26:45
SPEAKER_01: It is so much fun.
26:46
SPEAKER_01: So creative grounding is just important, and it's it's one of those that's healthy.
26:52
SPEAKER_00: It is, and I think that you know we're we're very classically minded people, and there's a lot of emphasis in classical literature and art on beauty.
27:03
SPEAKER_00: Um, what is what is beauty and and why is it necessary to human existence?
27:08
SPEAKER_00: There's a there's a I think it's a Chinese proverb that says, when you have um, when you have two pennies left, buy a loaf of bread with one and a lily with the other, the idea that that beauty itself is nourishing and life-giving in in a very necessary sort of way.
27:23
SPEAKER_00: And so doing things that, you know, going to the art, going to an art gallery, right?
27:27
SPEAKER_00: Engaging in art that is creative.
27:29
SPEAKER_00: It speaks to something within our humanity that is international, it's universal, it's something that that we all have different forms of art and expression that touch parts of ourselves that normally get locked away in the drudgery of everyday life.
27:43
SPEAKER_00: But what is it, what does it do when you have access to that that is beyond the mundane?
27:50
SPEAKER_00: And how does it pull you beyond yourself in a sense that that even though you're thinking beyond yourself and you're thinking bigger than yourself, it is very grounding because it is a connection between you and something larger than you.
28:02
SPEAKER_00: And and hobbies are wonderful.
28:04
SPEAKER_00: They're they're mindful activities that that give us joy or give us peace or just give us quiet.
28:09
SPEAKER_00: Um, I've recently gotten into baking, and I have a a mill, so I grind my own wheat now, and we I bake bread, and my family loves it, and I love it.
28:20
SPEAKER_00: And it's it's this sense of I baked bread and it rose and it did what it was supposed to do, and that's a victory for me.
28:26
SPEAKER_00: And even if it doesn't rise and that's disappointing, it still tastes good.
28:30
SPEAKER_00: It's just dense.
28:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
28:33
SPEAKER_00: And so I I love it.
28:34
SPEAKER_00: I have an atts, you know, okay.
28:36
SPEAKER_00: Well, I know that for this six-hour period of grinding and rising and you know, all that kind of stuff, I can't leave the house.
28:43
SPEAKER_00: So I interweave that into my day.
28:45
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, okay, well, on Friday I can do go somewhere in the morning, but Friday afternoon I'm baking bread.
28:50
SPEAKER_00: So what am I gonna do with my kids and how we're gonna do schoolwork and we're gonna do laundry here and we're gonna nourish each other and spend time together.
28:56
SPEAKER_00: And they help me with it.
28:58
SPEAKER_00: They love helping with, especially my daughter.
28:59
SPEAKER_00: Loves, she said, Can I get my hands dirty, mama?
29:02
SPEAKER_00: Is it time for me to get my hands dirty yet?
29:04
SPEAKER_00: And um, it's it's a form of connection, it's a it's a different type of grounding.
29:09
SPEAKER_01: So cool.
29:10
SPEAKER_01: I haven't gotten into doing flower just because I know what's gonna happen when I start doing that.
29:16
SPEAKER_01: So fun, that's cool.
29:19
SPEAKER_01: So it's finding what your hobby is, and you said something that I think is so important.
29:24
SPEAKER_01: How can you incorporate those others in your life?
29:26
SPEAKER_01: Of like she gets to come in and help you.
29:28
SPEAKER_01: And so sometimes your hobbies or your creative grounding may depend on the stage of life you're in, and it may be a self-relationship where you do bring in others into that because it's important, and your creative grounding does not necessarily look like what your partners might or what your friend might, or it may be one that looks different, and that's okay.
29:55
SPEAKER_01: And I heard somebody say recently of, well, I'm just in the stage of having kids, and so hobbies just aren't important and aren't needed.
30:04
SPEAKER_01: And it's something that I think I totally disagree with.
30:07
SPEAKER_01: Of like, yeah, you might be in the throes of raising kids, but it's just as important for those kids to see you doing some things that you love.
30:16
SPEAKER_01: Like when I look back on my childhood, my dad doesn't necessarily have tons of hobbies outside of work because he just he loves his job, he loves what he does, and it it feeds him.
30:29
SPEAKER_01: But as kids, he put an outdoor love into us each in kind of different ways.
30:37
SPEAKER_01: But he took us down the Coosa River.
30:39
SPEAKER_01: Like we went kayaking a lot after we'd go to church and go straight to the river, and it didn't include my mom.
30:45
SPEAKER_01: My mom loved it when we went because she had the whole day to herself.
30:50
SPEAKER_01: My dad included us in that hobby of he wanted to do it, and so he kind of created taking us along.
30:57
SPEAKER_01: My husband was telling me the other day, he's really gotten into climbing with a friend, and he was telling me that it's funny to look around and see how many strollers are just sitting on the edge because either mom or dad or both parents are doing climbing, and so they just bring their kids along and they have strollers sitting along the edge so they can see them and tend to them if they need to, but they're doing their hobby, and so even if you're in the throes of being a parent, I do believe it's very hard, helpful, and important to find a hobby that you can put time into that might even include your kids.
31:36
SPEAKER_00: Right.
31:37
SPEAKER_00: And you know, we talked about, I think it was the previous episode, we talked about flexibility and self-awareness and knowing what you're capable of in different stages of life and what you're not.
31:45
SPEAKER_00: And in college and grad school, I loved quilting.
31:48
SPEAKER_00: That was a huge, it was a hobby that I loved to do.
31:50
SPEAKER_00: It felt like painting with fabric, and that was something that my great-grandmother had passed on to me.
31:55
SPEAKER_00: And so it was a connection with my memories of her and sort of her legacy of me being able to do those things because it reminded me of doing them with her.
32:02
SPEAKER_00: And when I had kids, you know, couldn't do that anymore because you have to quilt, you lay out all your fabric and it takes up a lot of space and they mess stuff up.
32:10
SPEAKER_00: And and you just we don't we don't have a big house, so I don't have the capacity to have a room I can dedicate to quilting and just take it and leave it whenever I can.
32:18
SPEAKER_00: So I had to kind of adapt and find different hobbies that that touch that same place within me or a similar place and just be patient and wait.
32:26
SPEAKER_00: And a month or so ago, we were upstairs and I got the bug and I said, Hey, let's do this.
32:31
SPEAKER_00: And we made a little quilted pillow.
32:33
SPEAKER_00: I made one for each of the kids and they got to help me cut out the fabric and they picked their own fabric out and we sewed it together.
32:39
SPEAKER_00: And it was very precious and wonderful for me because she did the exact same thing for me when I was that age.
32:45
SPEAKER_00: And I probably still have that little pillow with that tacky 90s fabric somewhere in a box that I will never throw away because it reminds me of her.
32:54
SPEAKER_00: And it was such a precious thing for me to be able to share that with them in a way that's not, you know, me making a big, beautiful wall-hanging quilt.
33:02
SPEAKER_00: It's a little pillow they're gonna go toss in their bed and get dirty and muck around with.
33:06
SPEAKER_00: And and I loved it.
33:07
SPEAKER_00: It felt great, but it just looked different.
33:10
SPEAKER_00: And um it would, but it was equally rewarding.
33:12
SPEAKER_00: So being flexible and knowing what needs to change and and taking the initiative to do that.
33:17
SPEAKER_01: And it's knowing sometimes like what you just kind of shared of like it may be one that you have to put away for a time.
33:26
SPEAKER_01: Doesn't mean that it's always put away, but it might have to be put away for a moment or a season, or and it might, and it will get to come back around if you stay in that connection with yourself of what it's this external grounding, and now they get to help you, which is something you're gonna get to do.
33:46
SPEAKER_01: That's cool.
33:46
SPEAKER_01: I've always wanted to be able to quilt, it's not something I've ever sat down and be able to been able to learn, but you get to pass it, you get to that's fun.
33:57
SPEAKER_01: One of those other aspects of external grounding is nourishing your body, and this is one that it's so amazing to me to watch people not realize how connected food is to nourishing your bodies.
34:10
SPEAKER_01: So, why is nourishing our bodies important?
34:13
SPEAKER_00: Well, not only if we're talking about nutrition, right?
34:15
SPEAKER_00: And you have a whole nutrition segment where she is licensed in these things and way more knowledgeable about this than I am, but um, you know, your body needs proper nutrition in order for your brain to work.
34:26
SPEAKER_00: Your body needs proper sleep in order for your brain to work.
34:28
SPEAKER_00: The correlation between sleep and mental health is very powerful, very well researched, and very visible immediately.
34:36
SPEAKER_00: You can you can get poor sleep for a day or two, and immediately you notice a decline in your mental health and your ability to think and function properly.
34:42
SPEAKER_00: Um, but beyond even those baseline things, in a moment of stress or crisis, having a healthy snack or having a sip of cold water, especially, can be grounding.
34:53
SPEAKER_00: There's um one of my professors in grad school used to talk about um people going, plenty of people go to the ER thinking they're having a heart attack and they're actually having a panic attack.
35:02
SPEAKER_00: And they say, Okay, well, eat this cracker.
35:04
SPEAKER_00: And they hand them a pack of saltine crackers and the panic attack symptoms go away because it stimulates a response in your body that your body really doesn't want to focus on two things at once in that sense.
35:15
SPEAKER_00: So when you're eating, your body wants to focus on that, and it can really help bring your stress levels down when you're eating.
35:21
SPEAKER_00: Also, eating is something that you typically do in a moment of safety.
35:25
SPEAKER_00: So your body associates that with, if not totally safe, right, with more safety.
35:31
SPEAKER_00: If you're historically speaking, if our ancestors were running through the woods from a pack of wild dogs, they're not gonna pause for a snack.
35:38
SPEAKER_00: They're gonna wait until they are at a moment of peace and safety, and then they're gonna dig around and they're gonna find something to eat.
35:44
SPEAKER_00: And that's, I think our bodies, our bodies are primal in that sense, and they haven't forgotten that eating is something we associate with safety and nourishment.
35:51
SPEAKER_00: And a simple cold water too, it stimulates the vagus nerve in your body, and that can help sort of rewire you in that moment to go, okay, wait, I'm safe, I'm okay, I'm grounded.
36:01
SPEAKER_00: My cold water in my throat feels this way, and it pulls us out of that place of disconnectedness and overwhelmedness.
36:08
SPEAKER_01: And when you're talking about nourishing your body through nutrition, it's the snacks that you choose.
36:14
SPEAKER_01: So going to have something like a donut or a cookie or a candy, those sometimes are important and those can be sensations to help you.
36:25
SPEAKER_01: You need to also make sure that you're taking care of your body.
36:28
SPEAKER_01: Of in this stressful moment, maybe a fruit is gonna be the best option.
36:35
SPEAKER_01: Eating a peach is gonna help you, or eating strawberries, or it's finding those ways.
36:42
SPEAKER_01: Like I know for me, when have in having Crohn's, if I don't nourish my body well, then anything else is not gonna help.
36:52
SPEAKER_01: Because if then my body is not regulated in the knee in the way it needs to, and I learned that through going through college in the stressful of grades and courses and writing things and getting the research projects done of the way I nourish my body was really important.
37:13
SPEAKER_01: And so understanding that relationship with your body needs because your healthy snack is not the same as somebody else's.
37:21
SPEAKER_01: Like I can drink a smoothie and it's packed with all kinds of fruits and vegetables, and it can satisfy that nutrition need that I have.
37:30
SPEAKER_01: My husband's not the same, he can drink a smoothie, but he may also need a like chewable snack too.
37:38
SPEAKER_00: Right.
37:40
SPEAKER_01: A smoothie is great, but he may also need something to eat.
37:44
SPEAKER_01: And so it's knowing what your needs are in that section of nourishing your body.
37:53
SPEAKER_00: Right.
37:53
SPEAKER_00: I'm the same way.
37:54
SPEAKER_00: I uh smoothies are are tasty, but it's a it's a texture thing for me.
37:58
SPEAKER_00: It's a tactile thing.
37:59
SPEAKER_00: I need to be able to chew something.
38:01
SPEAKER_00: And and also I I tend to prefer hot food, especially for lunch.
38:05
SPEAKER_00: I want a hot lunch.
38:06
SPEAKER_00: I'm not super keen on sandwiches.
38:09
SPEAKER_00: I've had great sandwiches.
38:11
SPEAKER_00: Um, and they're like, oh wow, this is actually surprisingly delicious.
38:14
SPEAKER_00: But I like hot food that I can chew and that that nourishes me, that satisfies me.
38:19
SPEAKER_00: Um, and so, like you said, being aware of your particular eccentricities and running with it.
38:25
SPEAKER_01: And that's what understanding that self-relationship is.
38:28
SPEAKER_01: And so in today's discussion, that we hope that you are able to reflect on how grounding back to yourself through your internal and external factors is important and how this is designed to help you reflect on how you ground back to that self-relationship.
38:47
SPEAKER_01: And so it's coming in on keen on looking at what are some of those and understanding when you're in a positive state, so that when you may be in a hard situation or you might be in a crisis, being able to know these are the three or four things that help me.
39:09
SPEAKER_01: So, what would you say is our call to action to our listeners for our ways to help keep yourself grounded in your self-relationship today?
39:18
SPEAKER_00: I would say that first we need to pay attention to when to deploy that.
39:21
SPEAKER_00: So a good way of doing that, especially if you're not used to it, is to notice one or two times in the last couple of days when you did feel that overwhelmed, disconnected, stuck in your head kind of feeling.
39:32
SPEAKER_00: And think back and go, okay, what led to that?
39:36
SPEAKER_00: How did that feel?
39:37
SPEAKER_00: And then thinking with everything that we just discussed, what is one of these grounding practices that I can try if that happens again?
39:44
SPEAKER_00: Um what is one grounding practice that I can try today?
39:46
SPEAKER_00: This is not just something we do reactively, right?
39:51
SPEAKER_00: This is not, I'm feeling overwhelmed and so I'm gonna implement a grounding technique.
39:54
SPEAKER_00: But what can I try proactively?
39:56
SPEAKER_00: How can I ground myself throughout the day so that maybe I get to that overwhelmed place less often?
40:02
SPEAKER_00: That I am just more overall, more regulated, not very activated, and I'm just more centered-subed so that I don't get to that icky place.
40:10
SPEAKER_00: So what is one practice I can commit to trying to do?
40:14
SPEAKER_01: Thank you guys for joining us, and we look forward to continuing this journey with you.
40:22
SPEAKER_01: That brings us to the end of this episode of Dapin T.
40:26
SPEAKER_01: If you love this episode enough to add it, head on over and like and subscribe so you never miss an episode.
40:34
SPEAKER_01: New episodes are going to be dropped on Thursdays.
40:37
SPEAKER_01: Until then, this is Beckett and don't forget, enrich your life by being.
40:45
SPEAKER_01: This podcast was created, produced, and recorded and edited by Staff Dente.