Latest / Becoming Flame: Where Sensuality, Sovereignty, and Sacred Power Ignite / True Receivership Requires Embodiment and Body Safety

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True Receivership Requires Embodiment and Body Safety · Becoming Flame: Where Sensuality, Sovereignty, and Sacred Power Ignite

• Kait Tregenza: This episode of Becoming Flame is brought to you by Phenxx. Phenxx is a ritual luxury house devoted to erotic feminine embodiment. We create alchemical intimacy oils and functional fragrances infused with spagyric botanicals designed to soften the nervous system, open the body, and awaken life force vitality. Our formulations are crafted as tools of self-initiation. They are not cosmetic. They are not decorative. They are designed to be felt. They are designed to shift. Each oil facilitates a cellular shift into relaxation and receptivity, activating and opening up an archetypal femininity that your body knows and is yearning to step into. These oils allow the body to open safely into sensual intelligence, magnetism and creative power. They open the libido and open creative sexual energy. When the body is safe, it softens. When it softens, it receives. When it receives, it creates. And when it creates, the entire world shifts. Hi and welcome to another episode of Becoming Flame podcast. I am Kate Tregenza and I'm your host today. I'm just having a little bit of a fun play around with background Today, ⁓ topic that I want to talk to you about is something that has been so personally challenging for me, which is why I'm talking from a place of what I've had to do, what I've had to open into, what I've had to learn. And I'm hoping that that will be really beneficial and valuable for you as a listener, for you as a woman on this pathway to embodiments, to opening, to receiving. And so today's episode is all around receiving. We believe that women who sit deeply in their bodies, in their erotic intelligence and sovereignty, become powerful creators of their lives and the environments around them. Our products are initiations into that coherence. Luxury in experience. Devotional in use. Transformational in effect. Get yours now at phenxx.com That's P-H-E-N. And I think we first need to understand what receiving may even mean. xx.com For me, it's about, it's the capacity to stay open enough to register support, sensation, emotion, nourishment, love, rest, and even the reality that you're living in, to open to that enough without collapsing, without armoring, without controlling it in any way. also being open enough to a reality that is deeper than the one that you're living, you know, in your physical situation outside of yourself. It's also being able to be open enough to change, to opportunity, to grow bigger than that. And it's also being open enough to receiving yourself in both situations, right? It's like, Here's where I am. Here's where I'm starting. I'm not trying to change it, control it, any of that, but... I am also open to receiving myself in a bigger life, in a bigger version of myself. I think where women, where myself, where people in general. get a little bit confused is when they understand the idea from a really spiritual lens. So it's around the receptivity, the yin, the open heart or surrender into what life is giving you then rather than forcing it through, which can be very useful, which can be very ⁓ soothing. For example, yin in Taoist ideology or Taos thought, I should say, is explicitly associated with absorption, inwardness, the earth, the receptivity, the principle of receiving and Sufi teachings place knowing and loving through the heart at the center of spiritual life. So there's a lot of trust, there's a lot of faith, there's a lot of like body technology. and receiving of your body technology in order to allow what is to unfold to unfold. I want to sort of talk about my own journey of learning to receive after major collapse, after major trauma, because I think it's really easy to talk about receiving when you're not rebuilding from nervous system collapse, when just the idea of getting out of bed every day doesn't seem to be overwhelming. Cause I think a lot of coaches and a lot of people who are on you know, their Instagram. ⁓ to talk about deep issues. And that's why that's a platform that suits a lot of surface level coaches and ⁓ unqualified people. Because if you were able to really go into something deep with them, you would see very quickly the lack of depth there. So first of all, It's a suitable platform for people who don't have foundational depth because they don't have to give you foundational depth, right? They don't have to give that to you. I think the, for me, the way that I first received or came back into a receiving state is that safety must come first. Safety. has to be the foundation for everything in your life. A woman in my opinion, in my experience, in my knowledge, in my world. I am not a trauma informed coach. I'm not a psychologist. I'm not a psychiatrist. I am a woman who has rebuilt her life. I think one of the things that was most challenging for me when I was rebuilding, when I had no safety in my body anymore, when I had no safety in my external life, when all of my friendships felt unsafe, when my family members felt unsafe, when ⁓ everyone whom I had trusted more than anything. Who were my people... All of a sudden I realized, ⁓ these people are actually the reason I'm here. These people are unsafe. I am not safe with these people. Can I find safety within myself? I rebuild safety ⁓ Cause my experience as a woman, at least myself, I couldn't receive deeply when my nervous system was bracing for danger. When I was not safe in my felt sense of body, my felt sense of relationships, in my felt sense of exterior, and I needed to build that safety in my interior, I couldn't receive anything. I wasn't available to receive that which was coming for me. You you couldn't talk to me at that time about building a bigger life, about being a bigger version of myself, about stepping into my ultimate identity. about even stepping into my former identity, which was much bigger, which was much more solid than the one that I was finding. And so for me to register support, register sensation, emotion, nourishment, love, rest, any kind of reality bigger than what I was in collapsed me. So receiving anything at all was absolutely unavailable. When you're bracing for danger and you're bracing for survival, when you're bracing in that moment of like, this is all I can do. Like all I can do right now is receive breath. And even that I'm not receiving, I'm clenching my jaw, my jaw is tight. I'm breathing up here. Everything is hard. I don't know how to relax. I don't know how to receive my life in my body. That's where you start. is, you know, let's start there. I hope for the listeners that you aren't in this place or haven't been. You're tuning into my field and you're tuning into where I have been and I have moved out of, and I can bring that. ability to see you and know you from there. For me, I would sit with counselors or with psychologists or whatever who had never experienced what I had experienced, but might've done some kind of course and they called themselves trauma informed. And I can tell you that being informed about trauma from a textbook or from, I don't know, stories. is so different and it is such a lived experience than having been there. And so even the relational supports that were so-called being offered to me, I couldn't receive them because, and you might have experienced this before, but when someone is so far out of your reality and the proposed help that they are providing you is so far off the mark. You can't receive it because even that doesn't feel safe. You don't feel understood. And I don't think you can really start to reestablish your life in a safe psychological or counseling style environment. If you don't think that the person who's sitting next to you has any understanding of you. When they can't receive you, you can't receive anything that they have to offer you. So I think that's why my first point is that in order to receive, in order to come back into receiving and opening to a life that is bigger than you, how do you receive safety first? How do you soften the body long enough? to receive the body rather than. validate the experiences that you have and the challenges that you've been in and the unsafety that you feel while still trying to develop a secure base. And I think that's the real challenge here. How that receptivity comes through the body really depends on enough safety being felt in the body. And my challenge and the value that I was receiving from other people at that time was so limited that it kept forcing me into a lack of safety. kept forcing me into a feeling of not being held, not being received, not being safe, not being... Nobody could sit down and say, I know what you're going through. I've been there too. And... This is not necessarily a reflection on an inability for someone to empathize. It's not even somebody's lack of training or maybe somebody's lack of training. wasn't that. So first of all, I thought I wanted to work with counselors who would like get me, who would be around that place and who would be like, okay, I empathize. These are the steps that you need to take to get out of that. But even being in somebody's presence where they wanted to move me out of my current state of being faster than I could actually hold for that moment would collapse me. And so the really interesting thing about complex PTSD or PTSD in general is that it needs to be body led. My mind wanted to be 10 years in advance. It wanted to be beyond. where I was receiving everything back again, getting the accolades, getting the awards, getting the money, getting the whatever else, receiving all the love, receiving all the money, receiving all the safety, receiving, receiving, receiving. I wanted to be my prime feminine essence of just being like, I'm magnetic. I receive it all. Here I am. but I wasn't there. I wasn't available for that yet. And so for me... It was this very humbling experience of how do I move from a body first, from a safety first, from a security base, from a security foundation. I learned that the body receives when it no longer believes everything must be survived alone. one of the ways in which I was able to do that were through these plant teachers. So through the activations of the codes within me that helped me to connect back into my place in a far bigger, far more loving, far more contained, holding, universally loving reality. that I helped myself bit by bit, day by day, receive and to back into, accept the codes of my plant teachers, you know, in this spagyrics that were creating and that I was being initiated into ⁓ this wisdom, understanding this teacher. So, you know, had I come at any other point, this. role at Phenxx to this job that I accepted far before I even understood the company, far before I even understood what I was being initiated into. I came to that role at the highest point of my life. And I remember there was this question, there was this initiation portal and a point in time that was asked to me "Are you willing to really unlearn everything you think you know, in order to learn what we have to teach you? And the thing is about an ambiguous question like that. It sounds so Hollywood, right? It sounds so sci-fi. It sounds so like, ⁓ let's go on this mystical quest. And you in your mind, in your lived reality, when you're watching that movie, you're still in your house. You're still in the comfort. You're still sitting on your couch. You're still eating your popcorn, whatever it is that you're doing. Maybe you're still in the movie theater. It's warm. It's cozy. It's dark. It's pleasant. You're having an enjoyable entertainment experience, right? So you're like, Oh, If that happened to me in real life where I was like asked to go on the hero, the heroine's quest. ⁓ my God. I would so do that. I would so do that. But in the reality of that. And for so many of us, so many, many, many of us women right now who are on this precipice of this point, this shift in time, this shift in error, this shift in energy. And we all know that we're here for it. And we've been saying that for such a long time. I'm here for these times. I'm here for these times. When these times then come, we go, holy shit, these times, there's so much. And part of the reason I think that there's so much is that we're trying to hold onto the image of what our mind has been telling us is the right way forward. So you're supposed to have these external things to dictate your success to other people, to show that, to perform that. capitalist engendering is very, very, very strong. So that even though we know at the very core of us, capitalism cannot continue, the patriarchy cannot continue. We are here to dismantle these systems. We are here to bring them down and to usher in a new way that is far more loving, far more open, ⁓ far more capable. So when we know we are in. We are here for these times. We know that capitalism cannot continue. We know that patriarchy cannot continue. We know that we are here for these times to usher in a new, to dismantle this old system and to usher in a new system that is far more based on loving principles of unity, of love, of connectedness, of togetherness, of everything that in the core of us, in the core of feminine embodied power, love, and truth, coherence to nature is the foundational role that we carry in the bodies. We carry in our bodies. Unless we are in the safety of our body, we cannot receive that information from a place that is far deeper than us, far more beyond us. And safety in the body became a really layered, ⁓ such a very, very, very, very, very layered conversation to me. Because when I first entered into this work and I first said, yeah, I'm going to, I'm going to say yes to that quest. I'm going to do that. Of course, everything starts dismantling. Of course, everything starts unraveling because that is the work. That's what I'm showing up to do. how do we dismantle external systems? We keep thinking that there's going to be some kind of tirade into the, you know, into the. capital of what? Where is the capital of capitalism? You know, it's so easy to say, it's Washington, D.C., but it's not. The capital of capitalism is here within ourselves. Every time we accept those rules, those stigmas, those requirements, those limitations, that limited reality constricts us. and it constricts our power. My Plant teachers helped me to unravel the intense lived unsafety of living outside of nature, of living outside of feminine embodiment, of living outside of embodiment in general. When you put humanity so far down the line in your value system in a society that does not value human life, that does not value connectedness, togetherness, love, unity. When all of those words that I just said become woo woo nonsense only for the hippies, only for women, only for children. There's something very, very sick about that society. And there's something inherently unsafe. Because in a society that values love, connection, unity, togetherness, coherence. That society doesn't allow wars to happen, humans to be trafficked, humans to matter so little. It doesn't allow artificial life to take center stage over human life. That doesn't exist in a world where mothers birth in coherence to nature and in truth, in alignment to who they are. And so what I unraveled in the receiving. was that I had never received anything. I was fighting. for that I had. Tooth the nail in competition. Receivership allows a being, a person, to simply exist on the planet and receive that which they are. To receive not only the mirror of them, but the external reality of who they are. And so when I started on this journey, I was doing all the right things. to straddle these worlds. I wasn't fully committed to one and I wasn't fully against the other. And I want to explain that because the role that it took for me to receive who I be. required the acceptance of the complete disillusion, decimation. of every aspect of me that was linked into a system where I didn't just exist and therefore receive. Does that make sense? This is not about the status quo of everything that is and then just simply opening to receive. And I think that's a very common marketing message that we hear. from non-initiates, from the uninitiated. And that's not a judgment. I used to say the same thing. I used to think the same thing. It is not fun being where I am. I don't know if it's wisdom yet, or if it's just trauma, or if it's just pain. And so as I keep showing up. taking these, taking these tinctures, taking my medicine, working with my teacher. they hold a mirror that is so unwavering in its reflection, that it burns, it's almost like it burns deep into the core of you to see the parts of you that have tentacles into this world that is literally killing you, that is literally enforcing your own safety. So for me, learning about safety from the body, Yes, it started in a psychological way. It started in a spiritual way, actually, in many ways. ⁓ This simple, completely simple way of saying, open yourself to receive, open yourself to the universe as an all abundant, you know, if you want to say God, if you want to say source, it doesn't matter. These are interchangeable terms. And don't let the language You know, take you out of the very. consistent information and part of the way that I've understood that we live out of coherence in such a felt way, in such a fundamental way. Because even our brains, even our minds conceive of the I self before it conceives of the universal connection. And we see that incredibly slow shift happening from ancient Egypt where all was one. We were coherent animal or nature. deities was simply an expression of the all that is in each aspect of ⁓ when we talked about archetypal goddesses or gods or deities or aspects of that religion at that time, it was very understood that that archetype was understood in the entire connectivity of all it was and that the coherence of that archetype could be connected into in a very holistic body connection place because your body was an antenna, that entity or deity was an antenna all connecting into the coherence of all that is, which is why the technology systems of ancient Egypt were all about holding, emitting, And maintaining harmony, our technology and the things that we worship today are all about taking the body completely out of itself. EMFs alone, you know, could be an entire reason why we have no connection into our body. And so when you have no connection into your body in the subtle ways in which it creates, in which it's which it's technology exists. Well, millennial in a way that coherently creates in collaboration with the harmonic resonance of the earth and of all those beings on the earth, you have this incredible felt safety in the body to soften because there's no defense there. In that space, what my plant teachers have helped me to feel is, ⁓ This is unlike anything. This is not body safety from a psychological perspective. This is not body safety from there are no aggressors or you know, things I need to defend against. It brings you into a much subtler, much more. unfelt, invisible sense of safety where actually we're all unsafe if we live on the planet at this time. Because even if we go to the top of Everest or the bottom of the deepest ocean at the moment, EMF radiation interference has been measured at levels enough to reduce the effectiveness of the human body's technology system. And so there's an incredible inability to ever feel true safety. So what does that mean? Well, you need to feel the unsafety to such an extent that the rage, that the injustice, that the miscarriage of justice. spikes enough determination because if we continue to try to be palatable, to be pleasant, to be good girls, to be the kinds of women that simply sit, smile and ask for less, to make ourselves smaller and smaller and smaller and and our needs less and less and less and less. That is a form of misogynistic capitalistic patriarchy. Women are not designed to be smaller. And as we continue to downplay the power of our creative bodies, and as we continue to actively collaborate with the turning off of our capacities to create, to change, to produce new worlds. We won't produce them. It won't happen in at the speed that it could at the level of ease that it could. If 4 billion women tomorrow stepped up and said, I'm going to be my biggest, most powerful, most loving, most creative, most inspired, most connected, most deeply felt and deeply receiving version of me. The entire world would crumble overnight with the energetic shift in frequency that that would create. Four billion women, half the planet's population and you know you would have the children following you because any child resonates at the frequency of their mother. So you've got more than four billion. And then there are many men who would follow women very happily into that world. And so all of a sudden you've gone from the majority of people in struggle. In unsafety, in dysregulation and anxiety and fear into we own this earth and we shall create it ourselves. That is a frequency shift that we can't even conceive of at this moment in time because we don't know. in our bodies, our, in our, the epigenetics of us can be felt only seven generations back. And we've been in this cycle for so much longer than seven generations now. but a deeper part of you remembers. Because a deeper part of me remembers what that feels like to have actual safety in the body. And again, not against a threat, not against somebody, but safety that comes from knowing your true creative capacity. We have systems of doctors that universally convince women they cannot birth a child. And we have women who believe them. Now that's not a judgment. That is a, that is a symptom of a sick and disconnected and unsafe society where your wisdom isn't in your body, where your sense of safety isn't in your body. And your sense of safety cannot exist in your mind because your mind is not a vessel for safety. Your mind is not the biotechnology of creation. Your mind doesn't hold that capacity. Your body does. So this is moving all far beyond attachment theories or, you know, nervous system regulation or dysregulation. This is about knowing that at a level of, of true organized crime on this planet, we have been sanctioning technologies that at the same time are connecting you and I right now, and that I am using it. in this broadcast to you and you are using it to listen to it. So it is not simple. It is not a matter of like, just don't use it. For some people they've chosen that and for others they haven't. But it is about what your body says is right for you. It is about how do I therefore approach the problem. And not in a way that I am trying to uphold the systems that are making me sick. But how do I approach the problem in the knowing, in the knowledge that as I come more and more and more into the desire to receive on this planet, I need to unwind myself from the systems through which I used to receive. But that are making me sick that are not. giving me infinite receivership, giving me very trickled, very controlled, very minimal and very linear receiving. This topic is not an easy thing to talk about, right? I accept and I fully understand because this is the journey that I have been on. So as I received the business and the Spagyrics and the mission, when I first heard it, I thought I was going to go into sex tech, right? Like, ⁓ lubricants and intimacy oils. Okay, that would be fun. Like I can do a lot of marketing around that. That'll be like a really fun little business to do. And that's not this business. That's not what I'm doing at all. The plants will stop me any time that I go off in the wrong direction. Any time. And so I have had to learn about receiving in the most incredible way. Imagine that you work for plant intelligence. That's not something that I go out and just talk about, you know, to Cheryl. Oh, what do you do? Okay. Oh, Cheryl, I'm so glad you asked. I'm just shifting the axis of the planet through plant intelligence and covert operations through feminine embodiment work. What do you do? Oh, just... Good for you, Cheryl. Cheryl and I have a lot to talk about. But how do you explain this in a way that makes sense to the mind? The answer is you don't. The answer is you don't. The answer is you activate the codes within the body that must be listened to and not overridden. The answer is that you need to, you need to tell women that they just need to become willing to allow. They just need to accept that they are made for this. Their body is made for this in the same way that these women's bodies are made to birth. You don't know how to make a baby. You don't know how to birth a baby, but your body does. And if you were relying on your mind for any of this information, we would all be stuck. And so that is why we have been oscillating and circling this for way longer, in my opinion, than, than we've needed to. Another, another way of thinking about it is no, we haven't, we've been developing the, the We've been developing the activation codes. We've been developing all of the correct. foundation for success. We've been growing these women, you know, into the, from girls into the women. We've been having them travel around the world, activated by all of these different lands. We've given women of this generation, Gen X, millennials and Gen Z, more opportunity to travel the world, to connect with other women than any other time on the planet. And every time we connect into one another, physically or digitally, we still feel each other. We are still activating the resonance. We are still activating the network. We are the trees coming back online. We are the social networks coming back online. The bros built it, but the women have the opportunity to use it in a way that no one ever knew possible. We can make movements, not by rallying in the street, not by, you know, protesting or continuing in that same hate and vilification of others or competition or us versus them. That is in the same frequency of what we are trying to dismantle. You dismantle it in yourself. you unhook that which is linked into this unsafety, linked into this. And that's for me, that's what I discovered. It's like, I don't have a problem with receiving. I have a problem with what I could receive from you. That's a congested system afterwards. If you have something of value to give me and not by just value, like something that's valuable to me, something that's usable to me. If you have the codes, if you have the experience, if you have the activation, if you have the light, if you have, if you're holding your note so beautifully and I know how to harmonize with your note. and we are meant to be in harmony together, I'm receiving it. But if not, I'm using that which I'm rejecting, which my body is like, no thanks, as instant feedback now. And that's why it's so, so, so important to get rid of that good girl, that people pleaser. Because if your intention is that every single person that you ever meet loves you, thinks you're great, compliments you, tells you how great it was to meet you, to talk to you. You have come out of the intelligence system of did that person have the right codes? Did that person need, you know, and I need to connect further. if every single experience that you have with every single person on the, on the planet is you're outside of your body and you're just performing as a good girl people pleaser, you are missing the opportunity to actually see did our paths cross for a reason? Is there something here? You cannot activate codes if you're out of your body. So again, body safety is paramount because if you don't feel safe within the body to receive the codes, to receive the information, to receive the activation, to receive those insights with spontaneities, those synchronicities, those opportunities for ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. The nodes are on. We're all tapping into each other. And equally in the plant kingdom, in nature, if you are being taken to all of these locations across the world to activate the ley lines, the spirit lines, the song lines, the whatever lines that you're in of the country that you're being pulled into. If you're not available, to receive it, then you travel. Maybe you got something, but you didn't do the fullness of the work. If you are more concerned with the Instagram ability of your trip and not the life changing code altering safety foundation of receivership so that you can come into the fullness of you into the power of you into the embodiment of you. Then you're missing. what true receivership is, receptivity based on the body's antennae. And this is everything that my plant teachers have told me. This is everything. When they first said to me, you don't have any safety within your body. was like, yeah. Like, obviously I just left the f****g abuser and I'm shattered. I'm on the floor. I have no idea how I even got into this position. How did I go from where I was to where I am? Like the mind boggles. have no memory of this to that. And then it was like, you don't need a memory of this or that your body holds. Now you're now you're in your body. Now you feel, now you feel the absolute torture that this earth is in. Now you feel the absolute pain that this earth is in. You actually feel it. You're not performing feeling anymore. And I was like, I'm not performing feeling like. I'm psychic as fuck. feel everyone, everything all the time. And they're like, exactly. So what do you do? What's your native thing to do? Leave the body. Too much. Gotta get out. Gotta get out. Gotta just focus on my job. Get out. I was like, okay, I can't probably deny that. So receptivity had to come at the same time with this built safety. So how do you not be overridden, overburdened, overwhelmed, over felt? How do you have the distinction of what I do need to feel in order to alchemize that, in order to open that, in order to change that, in order to dismantle that, bring in the new, create from a new place versus Be so soft and feminine, just feel it all, just be in the flow like in the flow And, and, and this is, this was the work for me because if you oscillate between, feel everything to, feel nothing and I'm numb and I'm frozen on the floor and I can't get a, you know, I can't get out of my, ⁓ ⁓ Versus then I'm going in and I'm everything and I'm now I'm hyper vigilant and I'm scanning the room and I'm using my out tuition, not my intuition. And I'm knowing what everybody else is thinking and everybody else is feeling and I'm, I'm scanning the exits and I am in my trauma response. And that's what I started to realize. I was like, wow. So there's a lot of body unsafety in knowing what everybody on the planet feels. When you are. so sensitive to everybody else's situation, everybody else's emotional ⁓ reactivity. You're in defense, you're in hyper vigilance, you're in over reactivity, you're in embracing for what's about to come. And so I oscillated between these two extremes, ⁓ thinking that I was highly empathetic or empathic and therefore it's like my superpower and I got to lean into it, which all it did was deplete me because it's out tuition. It's just scanning the room for safety. Right. So I'm still not in my body. I knew what everybody. else was thinking, what everybody else was feeling, how I had to manage everybody else's reactions to the world and how to make sure that as long as everybody else is happy, I'll be safe. That's not body safety. That's learned. hyper vigilance, first of all, but it's learned trauma response of how do I keep the world around me safe? Because it's not. People aren't safe. The world isn't safe. There's wars, there's competition. Everybody is literally at each other. When we look into the technologies that are now so ever present the ⁓ and the harmonics of every single room that you're in, The average person, if they're not doing the kind of work of, of connecting into the subtle energies of, of the emotional resonance of each and every individual, then they just react and they just be who they are. Right. And so when you are hypersensitive and you can feel everything and your, your literal body is come here, advanced feeling technology, advanced alchemical technology. Advanced receiving technology. At first, you don't know what to receive and what not to receive. So you're like, receive it all. love and light. And this is why the spiritual like recent, like last 20, 30 years of spiritual training, I think has been so, so, so tapped into the opposite agenda of what it's been preaching, because what it's done is it is tailored. It's teaching to these women like me, like us. that are highly sensitive, highly feeling, highly receptive and naturally wired to alchemize, naturally wired to take it all in to alchemize it and to create from that space. Right? So if you flood their system with only things that they don't know have that, and they don't have like necessarily the, the skillset to process that, to, to, to alchemize that and the time of the planetary alignment to support that isn't yet available. We become these burned out hyper vigilant people pleases with fried nervous systems going, I really just don't care about the world and the state of it anymore. I tried live in this shit. If you want to, I'm done. And then we have kids and then they're like, ⁓ God, have to make it better for the kids. ⁓ Like seriously, I just want to die. Like, can I just do this? Like, can I just come back when it's done? And the problem has been that we didn't get back into the body. We didn't find safety back in there. I'm really laboring on this point and explaining it from every single direction. And I hope this is making sense because I had, I had like seven points to go through in this one. Topic and as per usual, like we've gone. one hour on the one like foundational base, but I realized this was the first and biggest point for me. When you start to actually understand that body safety is not a mental exercise, it's not even a spiritual exercise. It's not even in many ways a somatic exercise. It is your functionality. It is your function as a woman who was here for these times, who find the level of safety that was required. Now I personally couldn't find that with another person because I didn't feel the safety that they had in their body. didn't feel like I can come and like be collapsed within you and you hold me while I absorb the codes that you have. and then I can activate that in myself. But the plants and the way that plants hold the capacity to regulate back into the actual nature, into actually what is happening in our biotechnology system to find not survivability, but thriving in coherent connection to that safety in the connection of all that is. And you either have it and you feel it and you know it or you don't. In my case, I'm, building that every day. But now that I know what it is and what it isn't, it's very easy to bring myself continuously back into it. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. And for me, I don't try to do this all by myself now because it's actually inherently against the nature of receivership to do the receiving by yourself. From whom will you receive if you are doing this by yourself? Right? So all of that hyper capability, all of that hyper vigilance that, you know, capable, hyper independent kind of rhetoric that we all got fed along the same line as the people please a good girl who can do it all herself. That is the such unique and such effective trap. That so many of us who are here for these times have been caught in, right? You are an old soul, you know everything, you feel it in your body and you yet know that you're outside of it, that you can't tap into it. And you're like, I'm here for these extraordinary things. here, like literally can do what I can do better than anyone else in the world. It is so easy for me. I'm so there and yet it's also so out of reach. I'm hoping that I'm hoping that this illuminates some of the initial journey that I've been on. This is an unfolding journey. This is something that I am not transmitting from a future point and back into a teaching role. That is not who I am here for. That is not what my role is. ⁓ sharing what I am learning as I am going because I have been so desperately alone in this plight. I have been so desperately desiring someone else to hold me and when I couldn't find it the teacher arrived and the teacher arrived in a form I was not expecting and I initially didn't know how to work with. So let's pick up this time next week. And I'm excited to continue to share this journey because it's very unique and it's not normal. And that's the point, I think, is that I just have had to come into a sense of okayness with. You know, the heretic that I am now, you know, and I think that the world is at a time where we all need this information. We all need to share with each other what's going on. And I think obviously there's a lot of people on social media claiming quantum leaps and just do this and just do that. And it's all marketing speech. And the reason I use long form podcasts instead of that short form is I don't want to make promises that aren't true. want to give a transmission from a place of truth, from a place of deep sharing and commitment to this journey and commitment to this goal. And that's my, that's my, that's my gift is that I can share a little bit of this as I go along. And hopefully as I go along, it helps and it benefits. Okay. So see you next week.