Latest / MIDDLE GROUND - Real Conversations on Faith, Identity & Becoming — Through Brynne's LDS Lens of Curiosity, Love and Doubt / How to Create Flow in Your Life: Simple Systems for Busy Moms Who Want More Peace, Energy & Alignment
Transcript
- Brynne Erickson (00:27) Hey, happy November. We have made it to a new month, almost the end of the year, crazy. It's gone by so fast. I hope your holiday season is kicking off to a good start with Halloween and all the goodness coming forward. But today, I am really excited to be talking about flow and what I have learned about flow and how you can accomplish it in your life. So flow for me is being in alignment with your needs and desires every day, like all throughout the day. And it's going to look different. I have been observing my own flow lately and today I am really accomplishing a lot of the things that are meaningful to me. Then I have the past couple of days, like it's looked differently, like I've kind of been more. I'm as putting much as much emphasis on like my movement and even my eating. I've been enjoying Halloween candy and today I was ready to get back into more focus on my food goals and my movement goals and what I actually want them to look like at their highest. And that's been great. So I love that I've been able, as I've gotten more aware of what really matters to me and what I value. It's easier to let that pendulum kind of swing. Like today I'm gonna put less emphasis on my overall outcome that I want with my health or my finances or my relationships. Or today I'm going to put more emphasis on one of those areas and what matters to me and what my goals that I have. But flow essentially is you feel in control, it feels effortless, ⁓ it's easy, it's fun, even when it doesn't go exactly how you planned, and even if it feels hard, like you feel like you're handling it the way that you wanted to handle it. And I think it all starts with understanding what you value. And then the second thing is what you actually want to achieve in all areas of your life. So your hobbies, your finances, your health, your relationships, your service and contribution to the world. ⁓ What are the things that you want to accomplish in those areas of your life? What do want those areas of your life to look like? And what are your values that guide how you approach those goals? So big ones for me, I talk about this a lot, are making it as easy and simplifying as possible and simple as possible and fun and enjoyable and as peaceful as possible. So those are my big three, simplify, fun and peaceful. that guide a lot of how I accomplish things throughout the day and the feelings that I'm trying to achieve. And I've gotten clear on those. It's helped a lot in choosing how I'm going to accomplish those goals. So for example, a couple of things that I have to do a lot of and have ebbed and flowed and resentment and feeling a flow are laundry, groceries, and exercise. And meal planning that goes with groceries. So I'm going to talk about those for a minute and kind of show you how I apply my values and have allowed more flow and created more flow in my life with these areas. And it has been a lot of one, a lot of experimenting. So you try something and you evaluate and reflect on how that went. and how you would tweak it. And maybe it'll work for you for a while and then it doesn't work for you anymore. And then you do the process again. You evaluate, you remember what your values are and what you're trying to strive for, that feeling, that result that you actually want while accomplishing that goal. And how might you accomplish that? You get in problem solving mode and that's where it gets really fun. And you show yourself grace and you can change the way that looks at. Anytime just because you've done it one way for a while or even a long time If it's not working for you anymore change it up You have full permission and control to do that with your life, right? so with laundry I Now have an awesome system That it doesn't ideally I get it all washed dried Folded and put away within 24 hours. Sometimes it's 24 hours, sometimes it's four days, right? And that's okay. But everyone has enough clothes to get through 10 to 14 days. That's not very hard. Most of us have probably enough clothes for like two months, except maybe underwear and socks or whatever. But I make sure that everyone in my family, baby, everyone has enough clothes to get through 10 to 14 days. And that's how often I do laundry. And like I said, if it takes one to four days to get through the process of putting it away, then it does. But that has helped a ton. So I do laundry like only two to three times a month. And that is worked really well for me. And I'll have a movie or a show that I'm looking forward to watching while I'm folding or a podcast or an audio book or something. So that adds that element of fun. And I usually do it with my kids after I my kids to bed. I'll spend two to three hours just folding and watching stuff and that creates more peace and makes it easier. Sometimes I'll tackle a load or two throughout the day that is easier to do. in my kitchen, on my kitchen counter. And if that feels easy and it's achievable, then I'll do that. But if that feels more overwhelming and I just want to wait till later, I honor that. So again, I'm checking in with myself. Like, what do I feel like I can accomplish today? What is, what's going to be the easiest, simplest way to accomplish this goal and this task that I want to happen? You don't have to do laundry friends, right? Like we think we do. You really don't. You could wear dirty clothes over and over again. You could just go buy more clothes and get rid of the dirty stuff. Like there are lots of ways of doing laundry and clothes. And it just, once I realized what I value, which is having clean clothes, not having a gazillion clothes, my, we pretty much, especially my boys, they pretty much have enough. underwear, socks, just to get through that 14 days. Maybe we have a little extra like 16, but by the end of it, like one of them will be like, I don't have any more underwear. Like you need to do laundry, mom, right? Whereas I tend to have way more clothes. I like clothes. But that's laundry. Groceries and meal planning has been a big one too. I mean, you gotta eat, but that can look lots of different ways, right? So you ask yourself all the question, what do I value when it comes to my food? Where am I gonna shop? What's that gonna look like? Am I gonna do the shopping? Am I gonna pay for someone else to do shopping? Is it gonna be delivered to me? Am I going to pick it up? Are we going to eat out a lot more? Are we gonna have a box subscription that's delivered to us? So I've tried so many different things. I've done lots of experimenting in all these different ways that we can have meals and... Some of them have worked for a while and some of them have not. And I'm still tweaking it and refining it. But for me, at the beginning of the month, I budget and I plan out our month and I meal plan. And I meal plan for the whole month, but then I do grocery shopping for about three weeks worth of groceries. And I pick that up because that's just easier for me right now. I do like, grocery shopping, think it's fun. Well, I used to think it was fun pre-children. And now it's not so fun going into the store anymore. So pick up is the way I like to do it. And we do have two fridges. When my husband and only had one fridge and it was just the two of us, even with our first child, I could still grocery shop for three weeks and our fridge would be full, like no empty room. but we would use it all up and it would slowly get less food in it. But now that we have more kiddos and we do have an extra fridge, I can kind of spread food out more, which is nice. But it's kind of the same concept. And I supplement at our local grocery store with milk and eggs and cheese as needed and produce. But the bulk of my grocery shopping, like going to Costco or Sam's Club, I only do that once a month. And that has been super helpful. So I'll pick. I'll probably meal plan six to eight meals and then I'll buy for like five of them. And I like looking at my calendar and looking at our actual meal logistics. Like, when are we going to be eating with family? When would it be more conducive to eating out? When would it be best to eat like a freezer meal, like a quick frozen meal? And I've learned that I really only have to make like three meals a week. Cause then one of those nights is a leftover night. One of them is like an easy, maybe we're having grilled cheese sandwiches or we're having hot dogs or we're having something, we're having a family over. And I always plan on eating out day two, just one, I think it's fun. And two, I like to not cook. So when you get real, with your life, it saves you money, saves you time. And I am using up almost everything that I buy now, rather than just willy nilly buying things and things going bad, which I don't, love when things go bad in my fridge and we have to throw food out personally. And that has helped my meal planning and budget as well is getting really clear. on what meals are going to look like for us. And then the last thing is my movement, exercising. I've talked about this before, but simplifying it, what sounds like fun. And right now, I was even thinking about that today. I went on a walk this morning and then I came home and did a quick hit, 17 minute hit workout. I put my kiddo, my baby in the high chair. He ate snacks while I hurry and did that and watched me and I kind of engaged with him. And that isn't necessarily my favorite. It's not my favorite to have my kiddos around. It tends to cause me more stress, but I don't always love working out at night. ⁓ so that's, one ebbs and flows a lot and I kind of have to honor what I'm feeling that day when I wake up. But I have been really good about ⁓ moving in some way from a simple walk, that's 30 minutes, whether on my treadmill. or pushing kiddos in a stroller or doing a HIIT workout. But the past couple of weeks have really just been walking and I've been okay with that. That's what I've needed. I'm getting really good at going inside and asking my body and my mind and my heart, what do we need today? What's our movement gonna look like? What's gonna be easy and fun? And that has been a game changer in every way and I'm getting better and better at it. as I'm now, it's just basically I'm gonna walk and I'm gonna do this HIIT workout system that I bought that I love and maybe some stretching every other day. but it's been a lot of work to tweak it down to this much. There's so many options, right? On how you can move your body and programs and apps and trainers. And I've tried so many different things and that's part of the process. And that can be fun too. Like I'm in my experimenting face and I know that I'm going to find what's gonna work for me and just having that faith and that hope. Because I believe that what's important to us is important to the universe, to our higher power, to your heavenly parents. I think it's all conspiring for our good. And what's important to us is important to it or them. And I find evidence for that every day when an app or a program appears for me. I'm like, That kind of speaks to my soul. I'm gonna try that today. I'm gonna do the free week or the free month, and then I can unsubscribe at any time. Or I'm gonna try a trainer for a month and see how that goes. Like we're just constantly evolving. And as we embrace the process of becoming and evolving rather than resisting it, that's where we can find joy and peace and fun in this life experience. And we live in such an amazing age where we have gazillions of options on how to do this life. And it's just awesome. I choose to think it's awesome. ⁓ Another thing that I do every day to help me set up for success and to create more flow the next day is the night before. Typically when I get in bed, if you're not one to have your phone on you, then maybe sit in your living room or whatever. but pull up your calendar and go through what is happening the next day. Make sure you and your partner are on the same page with anything that you need to be. And I look at my to-do list and I'll pick two or three things. Maybe I need to add some things to my to-do list. And I used to fret a lot about how much I accomplished on my to-do list. And when I just sat back and I... realized if I'm gonna live till 90, I've got forever to work on this to-do list. Like, I don't understand why I feel like I have to accomplish seven things every day. Like, just waking up, getting my kiddos ready, spending time with them, making meals, like doing the basic things that I do. If I just did those every day with one extra thing, that would be amazing. And align with what I want to, what value, what I value, what matters to me. So I'm not gonna stress so much on how much I do on my to-do list. I'm gonna focus more on how I feel and doing what matters to me. And my people matter to me and I matter to me. And that's been super helpful. So looking at your calendar, looking at your to-do list, picking a few things, don't sweat it, okay? And think about my movement for the next day. what sounds like fun, when am I going to do that movement? Cause that varies on my schedule as well. And dinner, like when am I gonna make dinner? Sometimes I've started making, I tried something new the other night. I made dinner after my kids went to bed for the next day. So I cooked it, like I put it in the pan, I made it everything and then I put it in a container and put it in the fridge. And my thought process was, This was a lot easier because it's been hard lately having children screaming at me and yelling at each other and then whining and a baby clinging to my leg. And it has been really hard lately. And so I tried something new and I was like, by the time we all sit down and eat it, it's usually cold anyway. And we're having to warm it, rewarm it up in the microwave, reheat it. And so I made it the night before. And guess what? It was still delicious the next day. Go figure. It was amazing actually. I'm printing that one and putting it in my recipe book. Because it was so good. It was a marry me chicken with orzo. I'm obsessed with orzo lately. And that was really cool. That was fun. So I think about when I'm make dinner the next day or what that's gonna look like. Like tonight we're going to birthday party and they're feeding us dinner. Woohoo. So I do not have to make dinner tonight. So check. Didn't have to worry about that. Make sure everything's in my calendar where it needs to be. And then I like to visualize. I have been a visualizer my whole life I realized. And that's one of my superpowers. It's actually helped my days be so much more, much smoother because I lay there and I close my eyes and I picture myself going through my day. It's not like a 24 hour thing, but I just. Picture myself, okay, I wake up. All right, I'm getting dressed. I brush my teeth, I get my face routine done. I do my hair. I get my oldest off to school. I fed him breakfast. I got him ready. The baby has changed. The toddler has changed. We're going on a walk and then I come home. Like I just go through every step and it just feels easy and effortless. And then my day is done. I just find that really helpful. And then I like to reflect on my current day. Like, I really don't like how I blew up at my kiddo. I did not love that. All right, what am I gonna do differently when that situation arises again? ⁓ And then some form of gratitude, prayer, meditation, just going through your day and giving thanks. I think those are really important. So it's my nightly routine that also helps me set, that sets me up for success for the next day and creating as much flow as possible. And then you wake up and you assess how you feel, cause sometimes nights are rough, right? Maybe you have a lot of rough nights and you need to honor that. That's your body telling you that you need to take care of yourself in some way. and incorporating that into your day is important, honoring where you are and how much you can accomplish. And ⁓ if you need to add a nap to your schedule, then go ahead. Maybe you need to pick up a pizza for dinner, then do that, right? But always striving to accomplish what you actually want to accomplish. So the days that I need to pick up a pizza, then I think, okay, tomorrow we'll try again. or I'll make that meal that I still have all those ingredients for in my fridge and maybe it'll be easier to do it this time of day than this time of day. And being flexible, ⁓ plans can change and it doesn't have to mean anything about you or your worth, ⁓ Really learn to listen to what you need and honor that. And then the last thing is what do you do when things come up? that you can't control. Because it's gonna happen, right? Even within flow, you're gonna have things that are going to throw you off or could potentially thwart your flow. And that's when I think curiosity is extremely helpful. Like I'll be in the middle of something and I'm just feeling stressed or anxious. It just feels hard. and heavy. So then I take a deep breath. I'm like, why is this so hard? Why does this feel so hard? Why does this feel so heavy? What do I need to do to take care of myself right now? Usually when it's feeling hard and heavy, you need to do something for you before you can address everyone else. So it'll send my kids outside. I'll put a show on for them, something. And then I just take some deep breaths. If I can separate myself from my kids, great. That's not always an option. Hmm, right? Turn on some music for them. Ugh, it just, something. What can you do for yourself in that moment? And then after the kiddos are in bed, you can take care of yourself more. Whatever that looks like, take a soak bath. ⁓ do your nails, go watch a show. If you need to get out, you need to call a friend, whatever. But we do the best we can in the moment. Right. But acknowledging that this is hard, like acknowledging your truth can be really helpful. This feels really hard right now. And I don't want to be doing this, but I kind of actually do because I love these humans and I do want to take care of them. But this is really hard. and I will take care of myself later and I'm gonna do the best I can right now. And it's okay to tell your kids, like I think our kids, even as little ones, it's okay to be like, mom is really overwhelmed right now. Like this is really hard for me. I don't love what's going on, but I'm doing the best that I can. ⁓ Little two year old, talk to them on their level, but I think it's okay to be honest and make this as mom doesn't like that. Mom's having hard time with this. And as they get older, then it's easier for them to advocate for themselves because you're modeling it as well. Yeah, so acknowledging your truth, try and take care of yourself in the best way possible, either in the moment and later. things, yeah, just happen that you don't have control over when I'm running late for something. I heard this once from a mentor of mine, Jody Moore, and she's like, when I'm late to something, I get curious. I'm like, huh, it's so interesting that me being there 10 minutes late is actually exactly when I'm supposed to be there today. This is interesting. And I found that really helpful because you're always gonna lose if you're fighting against your reality. So to me, it's just not helpful or... It's not helpful to shame yourself or guilt yourself about what the reality is. You can always reevaluate later and then be like, okay, I didn't love being late for that or I don't love when I, the time I got there, but how could I change that differently next time? Cause you know, when you're on to like, you've left on time, like you should get there on time, but then things happen. You have to take a detour. You get in a wreck, you get pulled over, ⁓ the lights are not in your favor, and you are now late. Like rather than fighting with all of that reality, get curious. I'm like, this is fascinating that I was supposed to be late today. Huh, I bet this can still work out even though I'm And how could this actually be a part of my day? in the way it was supposed to go, because that's what's happened. So fighting with reality you'll always lose, but getting curious about it and reflecting on it empowers you. Okay, so I talked a lot about things, a lot of things with flow and how to accomplish more of it, that sense of alignment and effortlessness and helping you accomplish each day the way you actually would want to setting yourself up for success. So I hope that there was a nugget or two or three that was helpful in here. But I truly believe that this life can be full of joy and more peace, especially if we strive to intentionally create it. So make it a great day. You got this. Cheering you on.