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What Really Happens During Perimenopause · The MODERN YIN Podcast

0:00
Well, hello, and welcome to the Modern Ian podcast.
0:05
I'm your host, Kimberly Roberts of Sulfian, and I am so glad
0:08
you're here. I want to take a moment to help
0:11
you understand what this space is all about, especially if
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you're new here, and how this podcast can support you.
0:20
This podcast is really geared for busy women, especially over
0:25
the age of 40, who feel like they're constantly on the go,
0:29
taking care of everything and everyone.
0:32
But you know what? Not taking care of themselves.
0:36
And over time, that can start to look like feeling burnt out,
0:40
overwhelmed, tense, tired, but wired or just disconnected.
0:47
What I share here is a different approach.
0:51
Instead of pushing harder or doing more, we focus on slowing
0:56
down, supporting your nervous system, and creating a sense of
1:00
safety in your body. Because here's the thing, when
1:05
your body feels safe, everything starts to shift.
1:09
Your energy improves, your mind becomes clear, your body
1:13
softens, and you begin to feel more like yourself again.
1:19
Inside this podcast, you'll find simple practices using in yoga,
1:23
acupressure, reflexology, breath work, mindfulness.
1:28
These are all designed to fit into what I call real life, even
1:33
when you only have a couple of minutes.
1:36
And if you're looking for more support, you can come and join
1:39
me inside my Patreon. That's where I share full yen,
1:43
yoga classes, guided practices for emotional support, nervous
1:47
system reset, and even nourishing recipes to support
1:51
your overall well-being. It's really a space where you
1:56
can go deeper at your own pace and in a way that feels
2:00
supportive, not overwhelming. So whether you're listening
2:05
while walking, resting, or just taking a moment for yourself,
2:10
I'm so glad you're here because you've landed in the right
2:12
place. Take a deep breath, let those
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shoulders soften, and let's begin.
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Well, if you were here for last week's episode, I dove in deep
2:23
about anxiety and menopause. This week, I want to shift gears
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a little bit. I want to talk about what really
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happens during perimenopause. So this is the part before
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menopause happens. OK, So grab yourself a bevy of
2:42
choice. Maybe sit on the couch.
2:45
Maybe you're outside walking as you listen to this episode.
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But let's get started. So there's a moment many women
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experience in perimenopause where they're thinking, what the
3:01
heck is happening to me? Like suddenly it's like, OK, I
3:07
slept well last night, but the night before I slept like crap.
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My anxiety, I didn't have any problems with what happened
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yesterday, but two days ago I got anxious for I don't know
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why. And let's talk about frustration
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or impatience that just like, bruise out of nowhere and your
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overall energy just becomes like less predictable and stable.
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And even things that never used to bother you before, suddenly
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you're like, this is pissing me off or this is overwhelming me.
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And so many women assume that, uh oh, like there's something
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wrong with me. But what I want to talk about
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today is this. I've said this before about
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menopause. Menopause is not just a hormonal
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transition. It's a nervous system transition
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too. So is perimenopause.
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And once you start to understand that, everything starts making a
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lot more sense. And if you go back to one of my
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older episodes where I talk about why high functioning women
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over 40 are still in survival mode, like this is going to make
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so much sense when we start talking about nervous system
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regulation. All right, OK, so let's get
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started here. So perimenopause is officially
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that transition that leads up to menopause.
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It's the beginning years before a woman's final menstrual cycle
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happens, right? And for some women, it can start
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late, like late 40s, early 50s. For some women it can start in
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their late 20s or early 30s. I know for me it started in my
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mid 30s. I started to notice shifts like
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with my sleep, energy levels, digestion even.
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And As for my nervous system being regulated, yeah, I was
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nowhere in near that zone back then.
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There was not a whole lot of nervous system regulation
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happening. But this is the time when your
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estrogen and progesterone start fluctuating.
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Now it's typically progesterone kind of starts to decline first,
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and that's why women often notice like the sleep
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irregularities. OK.
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But it's not like a straight linear path.
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It's not like, oh, well, estrogen declines this amount
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and progesterone declines that amount.
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Like, no, it's very unpredictable and it's different
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depending on the woman. And I will tell you, if I hadn't
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known what I know now, back when I was in perimenopause, I would
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have paid way more attention and been far more diligent about
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regulating my nervous system. Because I will tell you that
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your hormones can wreak havoc in your body if you're not
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regulating your nervous system. And I want to say that your
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hormones affect so much more than just your period.
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Like they influence your mood, your sleep, your stress
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resilience, brain function, emotional regulation, nervous
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system itself. Like a lot of women associate,
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you know, menopause and perimenopause with the physical
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changes in the body that happens.
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But it's not always that it's there's so much more.
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OK. And when all of these hormones
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start shifting during perimenopause, this is when your
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nervous system starts becoming more sensitive to.
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This is the beginning of like real transition in your nervous
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system and why regulating your nervous system is so important.
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So why does everything feel so much more intense?
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Like the anxiety, the irritability, the overwhelm, the
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emotional sensitivity? Like this is not weakness, it's
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literally Physiology, OK? It's the buffering system is
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changing. OK?
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Your nervous system has less tolerance for chronic stress,
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overstimulation and constant pushing, which again, for women
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over 40, especially if they're in a high functioning state.
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This is why regulating their nervous system is so important.
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And honestly, when women start to hit perimenopause, they
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realize, you know what, like this way that I've been living
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like this is just not sustainable anymore.
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Like I just can't do it. You don't have the energy, you
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don't have the patience, you don't have the drive.
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You don't even have the ambition to be like, keep pushing
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forward. You're like, I'm done.
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Like there's got to be something.
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And this is when often the high functioning woman crashes.
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OK, she's been in. Just think about it.
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She's been in survival mode for decades.
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OK, I can totally relate to that.
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When I was married to an alcoholic, I spent decades high
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functioning but not emotionally stable and certainly not
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regulated in my nervous system. So when these women have spent
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decades holding everything together, pushing through
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exhaustion because let's face it, you're a little bit younger
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than so you kind of have the energy to push it even though
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you really shouldn't be. This is where you're still
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prioritizing everybody else and you're overriding your own
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body's needs. So when perimenopause hits,
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finally the body says, yeah, we need a different approach here
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because what we've been doing for the last several decades is
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just not working anymore. And the body is always
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communicating with you, always 365247.
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So sometimes the way that the body communicates with you
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during this transition is anxiety heightens, sleep
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disrupts, you're more tired, fatigued, you burn out a lot
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faster, and there's a whole lot of emotional volatility, right?
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Like that one tiny little thing just makes you snap.
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And that's not all because your body is failing.
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It's because it's trying to tell you, hey, we need to regulate
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here. This is not sustainable way of
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living anymore. This is why nervous system
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regulation matters so much. Once you hit perimenopause and
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you start shifting to menopause. I'm telling you because I've
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already been through perimenopause and I'm in
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menopause now. Learn from what I made mistakes
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about. I did not prioritize nervous
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system regulation enough. I did at times, but I certainly
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didn't make it something regular or consistent when honestly, I
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hate to use the word should, but I should have given the
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situation and the climate I was in at the time.
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So let me say this really clearly, This is the time when
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nervous system regulation is foundational and it has to be
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that way, not optional, not whenever you feel like it.
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It has to be consistent and foundational in your life if you
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want to start to coast perimenopause in a much better
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way. And I will tell you this, and
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again, this is based on my own experience, If you don't start
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taking care of yourself during perimenopause, when you hit
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menopause, it's not going to be a fun roller coaster ride.
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And for me, and again, every woman is different, every
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woman's body is different. Everyone's lifestyle is
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different for, but for me, during perimenopause, I ended up
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having to go on bioidentical hormone replacement therapy and
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I really didn't want to go on it.
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But I didn't have a choice given the situation that I was in at
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the time. But I will tell you that if I
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had made my nervous system a higher priority, I can guarantee
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you because I know myself very well, I can guarantee you that I
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would not have had to go on bioidentical HRT.
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But again, we learn, right? So it is what it is.
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But you see, when your nervous system is already so stressed
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out, your hormonal fluctuations are more intense.
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But the body is like, well, it needs support.
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But then the symptoms, once you get, once the support starts
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being layered in regularly, consistently, the symptoms start
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to soften. This is why things like rest,
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making sure you're getting enough sleep, proper
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nourishment, OK, proper balance of protein to fiber to carbs, so
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important breath work, acupressure, meditation, just a
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slower rhythm to life. And of course, yin yoga.
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These become so important during during Menopauna perimenopause.
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Now when I was in perimenopause, I definitely did yin.
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I didn't do as much breath work as I do now.
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And I wish I had of because I just I there's nothing better
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for me then 5 minutes of breath work in the morning and 5
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minutes of breath work at night before I literally close my
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eyes. I certainly didn't get enough
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rest. I should have prioritized my
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sleep a lot more. Nourishment.
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I was, I was pretty good in terms of like I ate clean, but
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my ratio of protein to fiber was not the best.
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SO all of these things, they're not luxuries, they're nervous
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system support. I want you to start to think of
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it that way. This is why on my Patreon, I
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have nourishment included there. Like I put up free posts every
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week on food so recipes, but I also give you the why.
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Like why is this good to eat? What does this do for you?
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How does this help your nervous system?
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Because this is the type of stuff that I wish I would have
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had back when I was in perimenopause.
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I also have like insightful posts, you know, three times a
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week where it's like, you know what?
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Try this little tip and try this little technique.
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I even have like an entire free program called Ground and Glow.
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It's a menopause, 10 day menopause program.
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But I'm going to be honest with you, if you're in perimenopause,
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I would go and hop on that program anyway because it's
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foundational for supporting your nervous system and it's free and
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it's 10 days. And this is, again, why I'm so
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passionate about helping women over the age of 40.
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Because as you get older, what you can tolerate and what you
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can navigate really starts to shift.
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And also what women start to realize is that what they used
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to do that worked for them before, no longer does.
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And here's why. It's not that what you might be
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doing is wrong, it's not that it's because your body is asking
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for more force or push, it's actually asking for more
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support. So don't ditch anything that you
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might be doing currently, but start to think about layering on
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more things that help now. This is why the modern yin
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perspective for me, it's so important because it's really
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about learning how to work with your body during this transition
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in your life. Not trying to fight it, not
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trying to push through it, because we've all been there and
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we've all done that. And not because we're trying to
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treat symptoms like they're an inconvenience.
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They're not. They're communication, just like
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your emotions. Your emotions are indicators of
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where you were at. And we have to start listening
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more. We have to start pausing more to
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be able to listen. Because when you're just running
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around like a hamster on a wheel, guess what?
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There's no space for you to listen.
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So you got to pause and listen and start supporting and start
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regulating because you know what a lot of women start to think,
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oh, perimenopause, it's like the beginning of the end.
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It's the end of my vitality. No, it's not.
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It's just a recalibration season.
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And it's often an invitation into a more sustainable, stable
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way of living. And let's face it, when we start
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getting over 40, like we don't want to be on the emotional
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roller coaster ride anymore. We don't want to be physically
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up and down like a yo-yo. Like we want a slower pace.
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We want more time for ourselves, without the guilt, without the
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shame, without the punishment. And this is the kind of support
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that I focus on inside my Patreon.
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It's literally devoted for women over the age of 40.
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I am very much a proponent of nervous system regulation, if
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you haven't figured that out yet by either this podcast episode
19:22
or several of my podcast episodes, because I'm all about
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that. I'm all about deep sleep.
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Like when I was younger, I could push through getting a crappy
19:32
night's sleep, but now I don't have the patience for that.
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Like, sleep is my number one priority.
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Emotional balance, because again, I don't like being on an
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emotional roller coaster. Yes, I'm going to get angry.
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Yes, I'm going to worry. Yes, I'm going to be scared, but
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I don't want to live in those emotions all the time.
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I want to have some resilience there.
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And of course, Ioffer lots of yin yoga.
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I even have acupressure and reflexology to help you as well
20:06
with balance. And again, let's talk about the
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food. Because I feel like, you know
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what nervous system regulation very much includes how you eat
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because what you put in is what you get out.
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And I, I'll be honest with you, you're probably going to laugh
20:27
at this because I still laugh about this part.
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But when I was in high school, I remember like it was the year
20:34
where, OK, we start taking home economics, right?
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Like that's cooking and cleaning and sewing.
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And I was like, I remember saying to my, one of my
20:44
teachers, I was like, I don't want to take home act.
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What do I want to do that for? I, I think this is useless.
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I didn't want to take it. Of course I had to take it and I
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failed. I failed home act.
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I couldn't sew a button to save my life and I burnt everything
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that I made. But now I will tell you that,
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you know, you're probably wondering, well, how the heck
21:11
have you survived so long? Well, I'll tell you that when I
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met my husband, he was a chef. So guess who did all the
21:19
cooking? He did.
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And we had, we hired a cleaner. But when I moved out on my own,
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I very quickly realized I got to learn how to cook, and I got to
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learn how to cook well and inexpensively.
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But I want to be able to cook nutritious food like I was
21:45
having before. So I learned.
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Did I make lots of mistakes? Did I burn lots of things on the
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stove? Absolutely, at first.
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Did I make some stuff that I tasted afterwards and went, oh,
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my God, this is disgusting. This didn't work.
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Yeah. But now I will tell you, I'm
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going to pat myself on the back here.
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I love to cook. And what I cook is absolutely
22:06
phenomenal. So This is why I'm so passionate
22:11
about food. If you wonder why else I have
22:14
that on my Patreon. And I wanna say to you that this
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transition in your life, it's natural.
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You can't avoid it, but it needs support.
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It doesn't need silence and it doesn't need ignoring.
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So if perimenopause has made you feel like your bodily body is
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suddenly changed overnight, I want to tell you something.
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First of all, it didn't just change overnight.
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It's been changing for a while. It's just maybe you haven't been
22:52
noticing so much, but you're not imagining any transitions and
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your nervous system is adapting to a major transition.
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Perimenopause is a major transition, and then menopause
23:05
is even a greater transition. And so perimenopause requires
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you to be a little softer, a little steadier, and find a more
23:20
supportive way of living. And that means more rest, more
23:26
regulation, more compassion for yourself.
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OK. This is why I call it modern
23:33
yin, because it's where stillness does the real work.
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And perimenopause, it's often the season where the body stops
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tolerating the life that the nervous system was already
23:49
struggling to carry for so long. And I'm going to leave you with
23:55
that and let that sink in, and I'll see you in the next
23:59
episode. Today's episode supported you in
24:03
any way. The next best step is to come
24:06
practice with me. Inside my Patreon.
24:09
I share simple yin yoga, acupressure, reflexology, and
24:14
nervous system practices designed for busy women who want
24:18
to feel calm, grounded, and back in their bodies without needing
24:22
a ton of time. You'll also find full classes,
24:26
guided practices, and even nourishing recipes to support
24:30
your well-being. Until next time, take a deep
24:34
breath, slow things down, and take care of you, and I'll see
24:38
you in the next episode. Thanks so much for pressing play
24:43
today.