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The Night of Something Strange — We Are So Sorry | Horror Movie Review · Two Cents: We See Scary Movies

• 0:00
  Welcome to Two Cents. We see Scary Movies, the podcast
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  where you watch horror movies, break them down, and
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  occasionally question the life choices that led us here.
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  This month's theme is You Make Me Sick, which usually means
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  movies that deal with disease, infection, bodily horror, or
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  things that just crawl into your skin in a fun, effective way.
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  And then there's this movie, which interpreted that theme as
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  a personal challenge. I'm Talon, the one who values
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  story, logic and characters behaving like recognizable human
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  beings. And I'm here with Dan, who was
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  the reason I had to sit through this shit and should probably
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  apologize. Well, I mean, I apologize
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  several times. I didn't know what you were
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  doing. I pre apologize I.
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  Pre apologize so I am all out of apologies.
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  Right. So I'm just all out of apologies
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  at this. I'm taking the Kevin Hart route.
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  I've already apologized. This week's movie is the Night
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  of something Strange. A God awful, horrible movie that
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  was cringe worthy from the moment it started to the moment
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  it mercifully ended. I could not wait for it to be
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  over. Let's get into it.
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  This this movie just punches you right from the beginning.
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  Oh my God, right from the fucking start. 1st 4 minutes and
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  some odd seconds. That's when I texted you first
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  and I was like holy shit, what the fuck is going on?
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  And little did you know, it was only going to get worse from
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  there. Yeah, that was even the worst
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  part. Like what the fuck?
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  Who wrote this? Why?
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  What? OK, so it it opens with a mop
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  bucket. You see, you end up seeing the
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  guy who's attached to the mop bucket.
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  He's just a a stereotypical like uneducated redneck sort of
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  person. Not to sound crude, but I mean
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  that that's just the best way you can put it.
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  And then certainly believe that that's how this movie made it
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  seem. So that's the best way to
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  describe this character only because it really seems like
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  that's what the writers wanted you to feel about him.
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  He is working as we end up learning in a morgue and he's
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  mopping the floor and he comes across 2 bodies a male and a
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  female and he looks at the well he doesn't know it's the female
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  yet but he goes in. He starts feeling a little Randy
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  and takes the sheet off of the off the woman and he gets a
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  little excited. We see a pan over to the the toe
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  tag and it says radiation leak like a victim of radiation maybe
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  an STD. This this doesn't stop.
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  I mean he didn't read it. What I mean, it doesn't stop him
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  at all because he ends up going to town on it, cooking the other
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  body. You know, he's just sitting
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  there watching, or at least laying there.
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  Yeah, he's dead. He's dead.
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  I just figured, you know, it's it's a cuck situation.
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  As as soon as I saw this, I was like, God, I know this movie's
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  going. And that is the opening scene.
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  Yay. And then we cut to a scene of
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  sausages cooking. There's a woman there and she's
• 3:26
  yelling for the man to come to dinner.
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  His name is Cornelius. We see Cornelius in the bed and
• 3:32
  he's like rivering in pain, like he's doubled over and he's just
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  not feeling good. He ends up rolling over in the
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  bed, making you believe that he's dead because the way he
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  looks, it looks like he may have died from whatever is going on.
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  Now see, I thought he was masturbating.
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  I did not to get any indication that he was dead because he was
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  moving a lot and I just thought he was masturbating.
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  No, I mean honestly, when when men masturbate they typically
• 3:59
  don't go in the fetal position. No, but I thought he was just
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  like, comfortable. I thought he was really into it,
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  like in a major way. I was like, good God guy, you
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  just did it to some dead person. I was like, I have a feeling
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  this is going to be a movie that I just wish I'd never watched.
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  Shit I was confused at 1st and I still not really sure.
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  Was that his girlfriend, wife or mom?
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  I don't know. I think she may have been his
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  mother. That's why she seemed older.
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  Yeah. But so anyway, she goes into his
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  bedroom to go get him, and he's standing on the bed.
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  Apparently she's not dead and he's urinating all over it.
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  She yells at him and we see that he's turned around and he's an
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  atypical zombie. What I mean by that he's he's
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  got like red eyes and I mean he's got the maniacal face and
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  everything. Maniacal.
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  Maniacal. Maniacal is better.
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  You say maniacal every time and I have to correct it.
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  He ends up going after her. He knocks her down in the
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  bedroom and she ends up reaching over and grabs an alarm clock
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  and hits him in the head to get away.
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  He does end up getting a hold of her and he has his way with her
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  unconsensually and she gets away.
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  She goes down to the kitchen, grabs a knife, he's running down
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  after her. She gets him right in the
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  shoulder and he turns and he falls.
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  What is spurting everywhere? I don't know why people do this,
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  like in horror movies. Like, I don't know if like this
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  happens in real life or not, but she just stabbed the guy and
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  she's walking over to make sure that he's either dead or alive
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  or whatever. And she's standing over him and
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  all of a sudden he jumps to life, looks up at her really
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  fast and jams his fists up her coochie.
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  And it's either, I'm assuming you could have been her uterus
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  because it was some organ that he ended up pulling out of her.
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  And he starts eating it. Yeah, we're going to have to
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  definitely put a disclaimer on the video and then show notes.
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  There's It gets worse. So he pulls a knife on and
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  starts walking and the woman's left behind.
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  Now we see some headlights on the road.
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  Then something gets hit by a truck, you pretty much know that
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  it's a it's a body, but you don't know who it is.
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  And there's two guys that are in the truck and they're confused
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  and you know, like, did I hit a bear?
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  And the other one's like, no, I think it was a man and the other
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  guy's like a man bear. And, and, and yes, kids, this
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  movie is trying to be a gross out comedy, right?
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  The joke? I thought I was trying to be.
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  I thought I was trying to be horror porn.
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  That's what I was thinking. It could have been, it could
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  have been that as well. Horror porn with, you know, some
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  elements of gross out comedy. Right.
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  I can tell you none of the jokes really land.
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  I mean, they were placed well, but they just did not.
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  Hit. They were so sophomorish, like
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  just so like kids wrote it. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
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  So there's a little bit more, you know, banter between the
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  two. And we hear a bang and they're
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  still stopped, like they hit a tree or a pole or something.
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  And the back of the truck, we see an arm that just falls onto
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  it. Well, the arm is still attached
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  to a body, but, you know, it's flopping onto the truck.
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  And all of a sudden, Corneus Cornelius pulls himself out.
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  So Cornelius is walking away from the truck and they end up
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  backing up and hitting him and he falls into the bed of the
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  truck. And we see from the initial
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  accident that his face is pretty jacked up.
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  And I got to say, later in the movie, the special effects of
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  that doesn't really work out so well because he ends up eating
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  something. We'll get there.
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  He ends up eating something and you can see like the the makeup
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  wasn't really attached to his face.
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  Right. Yeah, that happened to a few
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  characters that were even that before they got weird.
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  You could tell the makeup on their face was it was not quite
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  sitting right. Right.
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  Yeah. Well, not the makeup
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  necessarily. It's what the what's the stuff
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  they put on your face? The vinyl and the vinyl, the
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  latex or whatever. Latex.
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  Yeah. You could see that it was coming
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  up. Yeah.
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  So they end up driving off with him in the back.
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  I don't know if you caught it, but I don't know where the tarp
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  came from. Yeah, well, the tarp was on the
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  bottom of the car, of the bed, and next thing you know.
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  It's on top of of Cornelius. OK.
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  So I just wanted to make sure that I didn't miss something on
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  there because. You know, I thought that there
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  was a lot of shit in this movie that they fucked up and didn't
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  make any sense that just whoever the guy was that was supposed to
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  do continuity sucked. So we have an overhead shot of
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  him in the back of the truck and he comes back to life again and
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  he roars. So now we're in a high school
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  classroom and there's a girl that we later learned as
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  Christine. You're, you're going to notice
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  the theme of the names. I'll I'll let you figure it out.
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  Oh yeah, I figured it out. They stole from a lot of movies,
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  by the way. Yes.
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  So we have Christine, who's running in her journal with a
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  very poor narration talking about how she can't wait for
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  beach week. And you know, she's talking
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  about with all her friends and they'll be with her, including
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  her BFF Carrie, which is behind her in the classroom, and her
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  boyfriend Freddie, who walks in and he's like the the resident
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  douchebag. Christine doesn't really like
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  him all that much, but he's just going to their little get
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  together because of Carrie. And then she introduces Jason,
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  who Freddie immediately hits in the back of the head.
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  Right. And she explains that Jason is
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  her half cousin who still tries to get with her and it's kind of
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  gross and I'm not really sure why she hangs out with him if
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  that's the case, but she does. Then we have Brooklyn.
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  OK, guess who Brooklyn is? Guess what race Brooklyn is?
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  He happens to be black, so Brooklyn, he he's there.
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  Christine also doesn't really like him all that much but he's
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  going again because Samara, who we never meet in the movie, is
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  his girlfriend and reason why she's going.
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  And apparently again, you know this girl was her other BFF but
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  she ends up not going on the trip.
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  We don't even know who she is, so I don't even know why they
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  introduced her. She was in the movie for like 5
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  seconds. They met at the locker.
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  She was all pissed off. She was like that's why I'm not
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  going and that was it. She stormed up.
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  And also Brooklyn is, is very original in his character
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  because not only is he black, he's from New York and he's the
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  only one that does that, that has drugs on him.
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  Right. So there's some stereotypes
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  there. Not that I'm trying to go woke,
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  but there's some, there's some, you know, stereotypes going on
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  there. After the introductions, the
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  bell rings and I got to tell you that there's a very long time
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  between bells in this school because I remember only having
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  like 2 minutes to get from your class.
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  Right. She was able to like, do an
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  entire monologue before the bell rings and the teacher is talking
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  about the reading assignment, talking about like proteins
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  moving around. And Freddie makes a joke like,
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  oh, you know, you can move some of my protein around.
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  The teachers like, oh, you know, you can also go to the office
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  and he stops. You know, back, back in my day,
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  my teachers were to shut me to the office if I said something
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  like that. I mean, I'm surprised I'm not in
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  front of HR half the time, but anyway.
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  This teacher was pretty LAX. Yeah, she very much was.
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  Now we're back to Christine and there's a weird silence, like
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  it's just also those quiet. And she like looks outside and
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  but it's very quiet. It made no sense.
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  And a car pulls. Up.
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  They're reading. That's why it's quiet.
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  Oh, true. But I mean, for a movie, though,
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  you would think that there'd be something which we'll get into a
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  little bit later too, you know, you would think that you'd hear
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  like gum or like a rustle or something like that.
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  So a car pulls up on the outside that Christine is staring out
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  at, and we have the tough guy that comes out, you know, the
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  bad ass that's driving like the fancy sports muscle car, you
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  know? And he gets out.
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  We later learned that his name is.
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  Dirk, right? Dirk.
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  Dirk. We know he's he's the badass of
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  the group because he's the muscle car man.
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  And there's also music playing in the background that he's a
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  mean motherfucker. Right.
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  So this is how we know that he's the bad guy.
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  Well, not the bad guy, but the tough guy.
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  The tough guy, yeah. He ends up texting somebody, we
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  don't know who until it goes back to class.
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  And there's another girl whose name is Pam.
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  She ends up asking to go to the restroom.
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  Coincidentally, she ends up meeting up with Dirk and then
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  they take off. I, I, I have to say like this,
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  this whole thing because like, they leave and they're still
• 13:02
  being awkwardly stared at by a couple people.
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  And these are the some of the worst school scenes I've ever
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  seen. And that is taking like, what
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  was that one? Lake Fear.
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  No, not lake fear. Oh, come on.
• 13:15
  What's the name of that movie that we keep making fun of
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  throughout this entire thing? Fever Lake.
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  Oh, Fever Lake. I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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  I mean, were school scenes worse than that?
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  And that was pretty bad. Right.
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  Oh, they were horrible. Yeah.
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  Yeah. Fever Lake is a masterpiece
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  compared to the Compared to this, Yeah.
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  I mean, even with the touching. Even with the touching.
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  Because we, because we get there, too.
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  Yeah. Christine and Kerry meet upside
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  outside because they're going. They're getting a ride to
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  wherever they were going. They're going to spring break,
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  right? They're leaving right from
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  school. They have no bags, no nothing.
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  They don't go home. They just leave right from
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  school. They head to spring break.
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  Brooklyn, Freddie and Jason are outside and Christine's like not
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  happy that that Brooklyn's there.
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  And Freddie's like, well, he's got the drugs, right?
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  That typical situation that we were talking about.
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  So now we just randomly see a mailman going up to a trailer,
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  sees a mailbox on the ground. That's not normal for a mailman
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  to see. So he approaches to the door and
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  knocks on it. We see movement, and then all of
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  a sudden, glass shatters and his mouth starts to bleed.
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  And the woman from earlier whose uterus was ripped out is is now
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  a zombie and punches him in the chest.
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  He falls. She walks over him, and she
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  allows coochie blood to drip into his mouth.
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  Yeah. Yeah.
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  That that's where this is going. So now we're back to Dirk.
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  He pulls into a gas station and we see an older woman behind the
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  counter. I didn't catch her name.
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  I didn't watch with subtitles on, so I didn't catch her name.
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  I just am referring to her as the clerk throughout the movie.
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  Yeah, that's what I I just call it a convenience store lady.
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  I didn't know what her name was. And I don't know why some of
• 15:06
  these people, they made them look the way they did.
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  And my only guess is they did not want to go through all the
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  hell of prosthetics, like stopping and putting on, like
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  having a normal face and then prosthetics.
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  They just already kind of put them on.
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  They didn't exaggerate them, and they waited until they needed to
• 15:23
  exaggerate them. So I was like, why are they
• 15:25
  making her look like this? Right?
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  I was like, she looks like shit. I was like, but so many of them
• 15:31
  did. They already looked like they
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  were dead. Right.
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  Maybe they had like contact paper covering and they just
• 15:39
  pulled it off when they needed it.
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  So when they get to the the gas station, Pam gets out to to go
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  into the store and you have to remember that Pam is supposed to
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  be a teenager in this and there's a really long awkward
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  shot of her ass. Right, although she looked
• 15:56
  distinctly older than the other girls.
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  Oh, she, she, she certainly did. But she's supposed to be
• 16:03
  portraying, you know, a younger teen.
• 16:06
  Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, it was really like, you
• 16:09
  know, in the 80s when you had a porn star in teen movies like,
• 16:14
  oh, I'm 18 and she looks 45. So that's kind of like what this
• 16:18
  was, you know, not that I know anything about that, right?
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  So she ends up using, she ends up going in and asking the clerk
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  to use the bathroom, and she gets the key.
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  Now, at the same time, the two guys with the truck end up
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  pulling in and for hitting a tree, that truck looks at
• 16:38
  remarkably in good shape. I think one of them, I think the
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  name, like his name was Woody. I didn't catch their names
• 16:45
  either because they're not in the movie for very long, but I
• 16:48
  think his name was Woody. He enters the store and he
• 16:51
  immediately goes over to the beer thing and starts stealing
• 16:54
  beer. Right.
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  He really packed that, his jacket full of beer.
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  I was like, how are you going to get out of here?
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  Oh, he really did, and there's no way she didn't know.
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  Yeah. I mean if if it was reality,
• 17:05
  there was no way she didn't know.
• 17:07
  No, she was, but she was just so into smoking her cigarettes that
• 17:11
  she just couldn't pay attention. I guess because that one was a
• 17:13
  chain smoker from hell. Oh, absolutely.
• 17:15
  Literally. Yeah.
• 17:18
  So in the bathroom we have a view of the toilet.
• 17:21
  Like we're inside the toilet when a used tampon is dropped
• 17:25
  inside. Yeah.
• 17:27
  Yeah, that was that was a fun scene.
• 17:30
  It's better. So Pam pops up and preps
• 17:34
  herself, and then she leaves. There's a scene between Dirk and
• 17:38
  the truck driver because the truck drivers like staring at
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  Pam and Dirk's like oh, I'm going to fight you and and shit.
• 17:46
  So they Dirk ends up going to getting into the car and they
• 17:49
  drive off. Now we see that Cornelius is no
• 17:53
  longer under the tarp or in the truck.
• 17:55
  He's in the bathroom and he begins to throw up into the
• 18:00
  toilet and he ends up you're needing blood.
• 18:03
  OK hold on. So I have a comment about this
• 18:05
  part where he throws up in the toilet.
• 18:08
  So this guy who has, you know, got some crazy disease, he's
• 18:14
  turned into a zombie. He has been hit by a truck and
• 18:19
  he goes into the bathroom to throw up and to pee.
• 18:23
  He has the sense to do this. I'm like, why?
• 18:27
  He's been stabbed. He's been, I mean, it's like,
• 18:31
  why would you even think with your zombie like being now to
• 18:35
  just, oh, I need to go in the bathroom and do this?
• 18:37
  Like it didn't seem to make any sense.
• 18:39
  It's like we just throw up or it's wherever in your pants.
• 18:42
  If you wanted to like just why you have to go in the bathroom
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  and do this? Why?
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  What are you doing? Who's why are you worried about
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  it? What doesn't make any sense to
• 18:53
  me. I was like, OK, whatever.
• 18:56
  Right, OK, so now the guy Woody, he's still in the store loading
• 19:00
  beers and there was Jacket there's.
• 19:02
  Some time between. Yeah, it was a lot of.
• 19:04
  Going in there. So he ends up waving to the lady
• 19:07
  and he leaves. She's too busy reading a book
• 19:10
  and smoking. Yeah.
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  And then she looks at the beer cooler, looks at the guy as he's
• 19:15
  leaving. She steps out.
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  And then those two guys end up driving off.
• 19:21
  We're back to Cornelius, and he looks down into the toilet and
• 19:24
  he reaches down into the bloody puke water, picks out the
• 19:29
  tampon. He smells it, and then he puts
• 19:34
  it in his mouth to chew on it. He steps outside and then he
• 19:40
  spits it out. At first I thought he ate it,
• 19:44
  but then so. So at least he had enough sense
• 19:48
  to do that. Well, he's got a lot of sense.
• 19:51
  He does. Apparently.
• 19:52
  He does. So now we're back to the kids
• 19:55
  and they're having their typical, you know, teenage
• 19:57
  banter and. Just bullshit stuff.
• 20:00
  This is another scene where there's absolutely no ambient
• 20:03
  noise. Yeah, no, there's no.
• 20:06
  Music. Noise.
• 20:07
  There's no rock music. There's the only thing I can
• 20:11
  think of is like, maybe they had some music but they couldn't use
• 20:14
  it for licensing or the artist is like, yeah, fuck that.
• 20:17
  Yeah. After seeing the movie, you
• 20:20
  know, but there's like absolutely no ambient noise.
• 20:23
  It's just them talking into a microphone.
• 20:26
  Yeah. I mean, that's what it sounds
• 20:27
  like. Right.
• 20:29
  Kind of like what we're doing right now, right?
• 20:32
  Except, you know, I have the ambient noise of my furnace
• 20:35
  kicking on and off. So right now, Jason is driving.
• 20:41
  Like a psycho. Yes, like a psycho and he.
• 20:44
  Drives out of the top of his head like he has his head tilted
• 20:47
  down, his eyes up. He looks like a nut.
• 20:50
  Like what the fuck why is he driving like that?
• 20:52
  But yeah, he looks like a total psycho.
• 20:54
  Brooklyn's in the in the passenger seat, and Freddie and
• 20:57
  Carrie and Christine are in the back.
• 21:00
  Freddie and Carrie start making out.
• 21:02
  Brooklyn's smoking weed and Christine is just sitting there.
• 21:05
  She's she's the the, the pristine one.
• 21:09
  She's the one that survives because she doesn't have sex.
• 21:13
  Yeah. Well.
• 21:14
  Kind of. And Jason adjusts the rear view
• 21:18
  mirror so he can get a better look and he sees Freddie and and
• 21:22
  Carrie getting on and watching where Freddie's hand is.
• 21:25
  Freddie sees him and he gets mad at him, starts yelling at him,
• 21:29
  and then Brooklyn looks over and he sees that Jason's got a hard
• 21:32
  on. He starts making fun of him.
• 21:34
  So at this point you're realizing Jason is the punching
• 21:37
  bag of the group, and he's like, Oh no, no, I'm not.
• 21:39
  But he's trying to hide it at the same time.
• 21:42
  Yeah, he's definitely the dorky guy.
• 21:44
  Right. Yeah.
• 21:45
  And so at this point, Carrie says that she needs to go to the
• 21:47
  bathroom. So before they get there, we see
• 21:51
  the woman, the clerk, in what I would call a weird, useless shot
• 21:55
  because she goes outside. She's throwing away trash.
• 21:57
  Yeah. And then she picks up the
• 21:59
  tampon. That very.
• 22:01
  Finds it. That tampon by the way.
• 22:04
  And again, this is some weird continuity shit.
• 22:06
  That thing was in a disgusting blood filled toilet.
• 22:10
  Had blood on it already and vomit and then went in that
• 22:13
  guy's mouth, but it was the whole the string, the top of it
• 22:18
  pure white and the rest was just blood.
• 22:21
  I was like what? OK.
• 22:26
  So she again, she sees it, she picks it up and she tosses it
• 22:30
  into the dumpster, but she's about 10 feet away from the
• 22:33
  dumpster. Right.
• 22:35
  She played football, I don't. I don't know anything about
• 22:38
  tampons, but do they have enough weight to be able to fly 10 feet
• 22:41
  into a dumpster? Well, it depends on how much
• 22:46
  blood is in them. OK.
• 22:49
  And everything might be. I don't know, I don't know how
• 22:52
  the continuity with that. Works and it was supposedly in a
• 22:56
  toilet so it should have been soaked.
• 22:58
  Soaked, right? True, true.
• 23:00
  I didn't think about that it. Didn't look it, but it should
• 23:02
  have been right? Maybe like throwing a mouse
• 23:05
  basically. So now we're back at the
• 23:08
  original trailer and the mailman pops up.
• 23:11
  He looks around and he growls because now he's one of those
• 23:14
  zombie people. And The thing is like, they
• 23:16
  don't really call them zombies in this.
• 23:18
  No, it's. Zombie.
• 23:20
  Ask people near the end, Christine when she's yelling at
• 23:24
  the cops. She calls it zombie, she calls
• 23:26
  it zombies, but nobody else really calls them zombies.
• 23:29
  Yeah, nobody else really did. And I wasn't even sure myself.
• 23:32
  Because, yeah, because I mean, they, they they survive more
• 23:35
  than zombies do. Yeah, that and they're cognitive
• 23:39
  of certain things. And I was like, you know, they
• 23:42
  weren't just aimlessly running around, right?
• 23:45
  Yeah. So I wasn't sure if there were
• 23:46
  zombies either. Right, so now the kids pull into
• 23:50
  the gas station and they go all going except for Brooklyn and
• 23:53
  Brooklyn's putting in his order. Oh, I need some sweet tea or
• 23:55
  some shit. He does that a couple times.
• 23:58
  I say that he's putting in his order because he's not doing
• 24:00
  Jack shit but smoking weed. Right.
• 24:03
  So Kerry asks the woman and the clerk to use the bathroom, and
• 24:08
  she starts walking out when she says yes.
• 24:10
  And the woman's like, oh, you have to get in the key.
• 24:13
  So Kerry comes back and she goes to grab the key.
• 24:16
  And the woman grabs her hand. And she starts like this long
• 24:20
  diatribe of don't throw your tampon into the water, throw it
• 24:25
  in the trash because I know all you high school girls and how
• 24:28
  you bleed. And yeah, it was going on like
• 24:31
  this crazy, crazy rant. It was just unneeded.
• 24:37
  Yeah, it was so long. And Carrie says, yes, ma'am.
• 24:40
  And then she ends up going to the bathroom.
• 24:43
  Now she ends up in the bathroom and the toilet is covered in
• 24:48
  blood, dirty puke, water. Blood is on the mirror.
• 24:52
  And it's not like a little splatter, like little tiny
• 24:55
  droplets of blood. I mean, we're talking like
• 24:57
  smeared across the toilet. Yeah, with the vomit too.
• 25:01
  And it's one of those things with the vomit, you wouldn't
• 25:03
  even want to wipe it off and still sit on it.
• 25:05
  It's like. Oh no, no, not at all.
• 25:07
  Not unless you had like 4 gallons of bleach, right?
• 25:10
  And even then, and. I don't think there were any.
• 25:14
  I think she looked at the toilet paper and there wasn't any, so
• 25:16
  she didn't have anything to really wipe it off with anyway.
• 25:17
  But even if you did no right. So while she's doing that, we're
• 25:23
  back at the car. Brooklyn's asleep.
• 25:25
  Freddie pulls down his pants, farts in Brooklyn's face, and
• 25:29
  someone else takes a picture and they're have a moral compass of
• 25:33
  telling him that what he was doing is wrong.
• 25:35
  But it wasn't just he didn't just fart, he what they call it,
• 25:39
  he sharted. Oh, I didn't realize that.
• 25:42
  Yeah, brown liquid came out of his ass and onto his and onto
• 25:45
  Brooklyn's face. Yeah, yeah.
• 25:49
  I was like, you got to be kidding me.
• 25:51
  I was like what the fuck? So we're back at the toilet and
• 25:55
  we have another pleasant shot of the bloody puke water, and it's
• 25:59
  bubbling like little tiny bubbles, like something's living
• 26:02
  in it, right? And, and it's a nice close up, I
• 26:07
  might add. You know it was.
• 26:08
  Oh yeah, it was great. It was.
• 26:09
  One of the best close up shots I've ever seen.
• 26:12
  And Carrie stares at it and this is when she realizes that
• 26:15
  there's no toilet paper. And, you know, I'm assuming that
• 26:19
  she's tired and she's been in the car for a while and she just
• 26:22
  needs to pee. Right.
• 26:24
  I would have fucking gone outside, right?
• 26:27
  Freddie's Freddie's getting impatient, but she, she goes in,
• 26:31
  she's trying to like before that.
• 26:33
  She's trying to position herself so she's hovering over the
• 26:35
  toilet. Right?
• 26:37
  Because the zombies in this movie have more cognitive
• 26:42
  ability than these kids. Yeah, because after seeing all
• 26:46
  this bloody shit, literally, she turns around and girls to sit on
• 26:52
  the toilet. Now mind you, she's not lifting
• 26:54
  up a dress, so maybe that was like some sort of protection for
• 26:56
  her. Yeah, I was like, because she
• 26:59
  was, she did hover over the toilet and she had her hands on
• 27:01
  the, she had her hand on the sink, one hand on the sink, one
• 27:03
  hand on the wall to try and hover over it.
• 27:06
  But she wasn't trying to hold her top up either.
• 27:09
  She had pants on or something underneath there.
• 27:11
  Was this a longer shirt? She wasn't trying to hold it up.
• 27:14
  I'm like, you're not worried about that touching it or peeing
• 27:16
  on your shirt, like what? But I mean, I guess she couldn't
• 27:20
  do all of it at the same time. I don't.
• 27:23
  Know she had to sacrifice something.
• 27:25
  I suppose. So as she's hovering, she ends
• 27:28
  up slipping and she ends up sitting in the blood.
• 27:32
  Yeah, and vomit. And vomit.
• 27:34
  Yes. She finishes up and she rejoins
• 27:37
  the group. She doesn't say anything about
• 27:40
  her experience. That'd be the first thing I
• 27:42
  would say when I got to the car. Absolutely.
• 27:44
  I mean, I would poke my head and be like, yeah, fuck.
• 27:46
  Nah, that's. Actually I would look look at
• 27:49
  this. Exactly.
• 27:51
  Or take a picture and send it to everybody.
• 27:53
  But something like I would make some sort of attention to it.
• 27:56
  Right. So now we're back at dark and
• 27:58
  Pam and they're driving. They pull over the side of the
• 28:01
  road, Pam points out, and she ends up peeing on the leaf.
• 28:06
  There's a lot of peeing in this movie.
• 28:08
  Yeah, there is, and there's a very specific reason why they
• 28:11
  show the leaf, and we'll get to that in a second.
• 28:13
  Yeah. While she's doing that, Dirk is
• 28:16
  looking through her phone and it says something like, hey, babe,
• 28:19
  you know I miss you, and he misses you too.
• 28:22
  And there's a picture of a fucking elephant trunk.
• 28:27
  That was cute. You know Dirk is pissed at this
• 28:30
  point. He gets angry and he lightly
• 28:32
  punches the car steering wheel. I'm assuming because there's a
• 28:37
  lot of steering wheel punching and I'm thinking it's because
• 28:40
  they it was light. So I'm assuming that they told
• 28:43
  the kids to do that in order not to ruin the car because the
• 28:46
  budgetary reasons. Or it could have been someone's
• 28:48
  personal car. We're just leasing this vehicle.
• 28:51
  Be careful. Right, so he's fantasizing about
• 28:54
  confronting her and shooting her for cheating on him.
• 28:58
  But he didn't. Now, because he had been six
• 29:00
  weeks since he had sex, so right, it was more important.
• 29:04
  Right, Yes. They drive off and we have a
• 29:07
  close up of the leaf again. We see a hand reached down, put
• 29:12
  two fingers in, lift up. And then we see like a little
• 29:15
  bit of blood. And then the hand goes down,
• 29:18
  picks up the leaf and it's Cornelius.
• 29:20
  And he puts the leaf in his mouth and he starts chewing on
• 29:22
  it like it's gum, right? And he was also while she was
• 29:29
  peeing, he was masturbating in the trees.
• 29:32
  Yes, yes, yeah. Yeah, he was.
• 29:34
  Yeah. Again, wherewithal.
• 29:36
  Like why didn't you just attack her if you're a zombie?
• 29:38
  Like this is where I I was. And and I think I blocked that
• 29:42
  part out. I would love to.
• 29:48
  All right, so now they're back in the car and Carrie's starting
• 29:51
  to feel, you know, sick. She's feeling nauseous and you
• 29:55
  know she's she needs to throw up so they end up pulling over so
• 29:58
  she can do so. Although she did throw up in the
• 30:01
  car, she threw up on Brooklyn. Yeah, that's right.
• 30:03
  She did throw up a little bit in Brooklyn.
• 30:04
  She ends up throwing up. I don't know why it took so long
• 30:07
  for her to throw up because when she got it on Brooklyn, Brooklyn
• 30:10
  threw up immediately. Yeah, but he kept his shirt on.
• 30:14
  He did? Yeah.
• 30:15
  And it was fine later. Right, Yeah.
• 30:18
  And we see Cornelius watching from the woods again.
• 30:21
  Like Cornelius really gets around.
• 30:23
  He really? Does I mean he, I don't know how
• 30:24
  he's going so fast. Yeah.
• 30:26
  Right. So again, after some banter, the
• 30:28
  kids get back in the car. And he's masturbating at that
• 30:31
  when she's throwing up too. Yes.
• 30:33
  Yeah, that's all this man does. Well, see, I think that scene, I
• 30:37
  thought he was mad because like, like because there was a long
• 30:40
  shot of him groaning, but it doesn't make sense.
• 30:42
  Although I did put in my notes that it could be jerking off the
• 30:45
  way this movie is going. So the kids take off and
• 30:48
  Cornelius starts on his way as well.
• 30:50
  Well, Cornelius has a tell by the way, every time he has a
• 30:55
  tell from the get go from the start when he was when he had
• 30:59
  sex with a dead body, when he comes, he his head tilts up, he
• 31:04
  almost howls kind of his eyes go back so and he does this every
• 31:08
  that's how you know every time that he is doing that.
• 31:12
  I am so glad I know that now. Yeah, you're welcome.
• 31:17
  I hated this movie but I paid attention for this fucking
• 31:19
  podcast. So now we're back at the
• 31:23
  convenience store and the woman, the clerk, is there.
• 31:26
  She puts out a cigarette and lights another one immediately.
• 31:30
  All right, And I have to point out, she's doing this in the
• 31:33
  store. Yeah, it's been decades since
• 31:36
  you've been allowed to smoke in public places in pretty much
• 31:38
  every state. Right, this was being 2016.
• 31:42
  Yeah, 2016. I think this is supposed to be
• 31:44
  Virginia I. Believe it was.
• 31:46
  She hears a noise and she looks over the counter and it's a can
• 31:50
  rolling on the floor. We're not supposed to know this,
• 31:53
  but it's Old El Paso refried beans.
• 31:55
  The only reason why we know this is because the the logo was
• 31:59
  partially covered, right? So Old El Paso, if you want to
• 32:02
  cut, if you want to throw some, some money our way for plugging
• 32:06
  you in this wonderful movie. So she picks it up and she goes
• 32:09
  to put it away and the mailman is actually now behind her and
• 32:13
  they're doing this weird, I don't know if it's supposed to
• 32:16
  be artistic shot of of them in the store and then the security
• 32:21
  footage at the same time at the same very, very same angle.
• 32:24
  So yeah, you're getting two shots, one in color, one in
• 32:27
  black and white. So she's part of the can away.
• 32:30
  She turns around and the mailman ends up hitting her.
• 32:32
  She falls to the ground and she's slowly walking towards her
• 32:36
  and she's crawling. And still smoking.
• 32:40
  And still smoking at the same time, like she is not putting
• 32:43
  out this cigarette to save her life, literally.
• 32:45
  Way I'm going to die smoking. So he ends up falling on top of
• 32:52
  her and with that he ends up assaulting her.
• 32:55
  So right, this is There's as much sexual assault in this
• 32:59
  movie as there is peeing. Yes.
• 33:03
  But that's what it feels like. Yep.
• 33:05
  So there's definitely a trigger warning.
• 33:07
  We probably should have said it in the beginning, but there's a
• 33:10
  trigger warning after a lot of this shit has happened.
• 33:15
  So we we're back at the kids driving.
• 33:17
  We don't see them in the car this time, but they find a home,
• 33:20
  a motel, and there's a flickering Rd. sign.
• 33:23
  There is a a scene of the motel sign that's buzzing and it's
• 33:31
  excruciatingly too long. It's about 5 or 6 seconds, but
• 33:35
  that's a long time to show a buzzing sign, and that's all it
• 33:39
  is. That's where they decide to put
• 33:40
  all of their ambient noise. It was their ambient noise
• 33:43
  budget. Yes, it was just in that sign.
• 33:46
  So they pull in and at the door we see a view of someone
• 33:52
  watching them through the shade. It was an ominous view.
• 33:55
  I had to work that in somewhere. Yeah, I'll be ominous every
• 33:58
  episode. Freddie and Jason have an
• 34:01
  argument, you know, kind of figures.
• 34:03
  Freddie versus Jason, ha ha ha ha ha.
• 34:06
  Yeah. Jason gets up, Christina's still
• 34:09
  in the car. Ask Kerry if she's OK.
• 34:11
  Brooklyn is sleeping on her and she says that she's doing
• 34:14
  better, and at this point she does seem like she's feeling OK.
• 34:17
  And Christine's asking all you know, are you sick or have you
• 34:22
  started yet? I don't know.
• 34:23
  Do girls ask each other that? Oh yeah, yeah.
• 34:26
  Okay, I I just wasn't sure, you know, because guys don't ask
• 34:30
  like when they had the last hard on, so I just wasn't sure.
• 34:33
  No, but men do it too. Men are like, are you on your
• 34:35
  period or something? Everybody asks women if they're
• 34:40
  on their period. All right, so now we have Dirk
• 34:47
  and Pam in a hotel in, I believe, the same motel.
• 34:50
  Yeah, the same motel room, or motel, rather.
• 34:53
  And they're in the room and they're like, enthusiastically
• 34:57
  fucking yeah. Like, I mean, I don't even know
• 35:00
  how this was pleasurable the way they were going at it.
• 35:04
  She was bouncing all over the place.
• 35:06
  Oh absolutely. Like it was like one of those
• 35:08
  bouncy balls. Right, she was on some kind of
• 35:11
  ride. Well, I guess she wasn't right.
• 35:15
  Dirk reaches up and chokes her, and she likes it, but it gets a
• 35:19
  little tight, probably because he's a little angry about the
• 35:22
  the monster deck. Yeah.
• 35:24
  And she lightens up and, you know, she finishes and she's
• 35:27
  like, Oh my God, you know, that was the best thing and it was so
• 35:30
  Kiki. And she goes to the bathroom.
• 35:33
  Guess to do what P. Yeah.
• 35:38
  And he looks down and asks, are you on the rag?
• 35:42
  And she's like, yeah, And he pulls off a bloody condom.
• 35:47
  Yeah. And as he does so, he gets a
• 35:48
  little in his eye. So the other kids end up in the
• 35:51
  lobby. And it looks like a altogether
• 35:53
  could have been like a different horror movie sort of thing, you
• 35:56
  know, cuz while peeling and it's all weird and backwards and.
• 36:01
  And eventually it does become another horror movie.
• 36:02
  It does Motel. I was like what the fuck are
• 36:05
  they doing? But we do have to have spoiler
• 36:08
  alerts when you're going to give something away because I'm.
• 36:11
  What do? People want to watch this
• 36:12
  masterpiece. Don't.
• 36:15
  Don't do it. I'm begging you.
• 36:19
  Do not watch this movie. I guess we know how many cents
• 36:25
  she's giving it. I won't give it away.
• 36:29
  No spoilers here. But so Freddie and Jason asked
• 36:35
  for for 2:00 rooms and the guy was like, oh, you know, you guys
• 36:38
  can have the king size bed and they're like, oh, you know,
• 36:42
  we're not gay. He's like, oh, you're not gay.
• 36:44
  No. And the guy's like, well, you
• 36:46
  know, I don't really want to scrape cheese and shit off the
• 36:48
  walls in the ceiling. Yeah, I mean, they asked for
• 36:52
  2:00 rooms, dumb ass. Why would they ask for 2:00
• 36:55
  rooms if they're together? And then he was also like, and
• 36:58
  there's no connecting door. Well, no shit, they don't need a
• 37:00
  connecting door. They're not together.
• 37:04
  So when they when they pay he's like Yep here's 2 non gay rooms.
• 37:10
  And as I do that, Jason looks into a room and he sees what I
• 37:14
  believe to be a kid in a clown mask.
• 37:18
  Yeah, playing with like, an older woman.
• 37:20
  Could have been a sister, could have been mother, don't know.
• 37:23
  I thought it was Alanis Morissette.
• 37:26
  Well, you want to know? So as they're settling the bill,
• 37:35
  the man asks, do you want to lick my balls?
• 37:37
  They're like, what Do you want to lick my balls?
• 37:41
  And they're like, what is it? Do you want to wake up?
• 37:43
  Call? Yeah.
• 37:45
  They're like, oh, haha, no, like, oh, that's all.
• 37:49
  That's the whole thing, is what he said.
• 37:51
  Right, so they. So Freddie and Jason go to get
• 37:56
  the rest, but before that, they're having a conversation.
• 37:58
  Freddie wants Jason to sleep in the car and leave him alone with
• 38:02
  Carrie, and Carrie reminds them that she smells of puking corn
• 38:06
  dogs. Freddie's like, yeah, that's
• 38:08
  fine. Give me 10 minutes, I'll be all
• 38:10
  done. And Jason's like now.
• 38:12
  And Freddie grabs his balls and Jason agrees.
• 38:16
  At that point they get out of the car and they briefly talk
• 38:19
  about the beach. Like there's maybe 3 mentions of
• 38:22
  a beach in this movie, right? About 3.
• 38:25
  But that's where they're supposed to be going.
• 38:26
  So I believe it's Christine asks why Jason's staying in the car.
• 38:31
  And Freddie's like, oh, he probably just wants to jerk off
• 38:33
  or something. And you know, if you're trying
• 38:37
  to get with somebody and you're being a Dick.
• 38:40
  Yeah. Don't you think the person being
• 38:42
  a Dick to is going to be just the same?
• 38:44
  So Jason informs the group that Freddie plans on fucking Jerry,
• 38:50
  right? Jerry's grossed out, Freddie's
• 38:52
  mad at Jason, Christina's grossed out to Freddie's mad at
• 38:57
  Jason. And so Jason gets out of the car
• 38:59
  and Freddie walks out to him and softly punches him in the
• 39:02
  stomach. He threatens Jason if he goes
• 39:05
  into the room, You know, he'll, they'll beat them up.
• 39:08
  So Jason goes back into the car and gently hits the wheel.
• 39:12
  So now from there, Carrie is laying on a bed.
• 39:15
  Freddie sits on the bed and they have a conversation.
• 39:18
  Freddie's trying to convince Carrie to have sex with him, You
• 39:21
  know, because he's being like, all kind and sweet, all this
• 39:25
  other stuff, right? And, you know, she's still not
• 39:27
  feeling well. You know, she's like, no, I'm
• 39:29
  not feeling well. He's like, oh, I got blue balls.
• 39:32
  You know, she's like, you know, that's just some shit guys
• 39:34
  made-up to get laid. I told her I'm not feeling good.
• 39:37
  It's not going to happen. Freddie is still concerned about
• 39:39
  his blue balls. I need to have sex at least 10
• 39:42
  times a day or my balls are going to blow up, right?
• 39:45
  You know, Carrie gets mad at him, tells him to leave.
• 39:48
  And she's like, oh, you're a lost bitch, right?
• 39:51
  You know, And The thing is, I mean, that's probably like the
• 39:53
  most realistic line in this whole thing because I've read
• 39:55
  read it and the nice guys that are on there, you know, the
• 39:58
  whole I'm a nice guy, you fucking bitch.
• 40:01
  That's kind of like how this worked out.
• 40:02
  Right. So as he's walking out the door,
• 40:06
  she's then very politely asks, can I at least jerk off on your
• 40:10
  ass? Right.
• 40:11
  She tells me to leave and he leaves.
• 40:13
  He ends up going over to the dumpster and the innkeeper turns
• 40:17
  on his car lights and asks what he's doing.
• 40:19
  Afraid he's like, I'm just going to take a leak.
• 40:21
  The innkeeper says, oh, you know, if you shake it more than
• 40:24
  three times, you're playing with it.
• 40:26
  With these jokes. I literally like, it's just like
• 40:30
  with my eyes up in the air, like really?
• 40:33
  No. And Freddy's like, Oh well, I'm
• 40:35
  good because I'm only on #2 and he's like, Oh yeah, that's fine.
• 40:39
  And then at this point by the dumpster and with the guy not
• 40:45
  even gone 2 seconds. Yeah, he literally just turned
• 40:49
  around. Yeah, he starts jerking off.
• 40:53
  I'm not sure exactly what happened.
• 40:55
  I think it's when he finishes, he ends up like marching
• 40:59
  forward, hits his head on the garbage on the on the dumpster
• 41:03
  and he falls over. I'm not exactly sure what
• 41:05
  happened there, but I think that's what happened.
• 41:07
  Because also he he was in the midst of doing it and then he
• 41:11
  dropped something and he went to bend over to pick it up and we
• 41:15
  did. He hit the some edge or
• 41:17
  something of the dumpster and it knocked him out.
• 41:20
  So yeah, he's flat on the ground now.
• 41:22
  That makes a little bit more sense.
• 41:25
  So now Jason is back at the car, and again he lightly punches the
• 41:29
  wheel when the zombie clerk bursts through the window.
• 41:34
  I don't know why they're worried about the steering wheel when
• 41:36
  they're breaking windows. Yeah, I don't know.
• 41:40
  How will these people end up at the fucking motel?
• 41:43
  I know every single one of them. Every one of them ends up at the
• 41:46
  fucking hotel. I'm like, how did she get here?
• 41:49
  They drove in a car. I was like, she walked.
• 41:52
  I was like, what? I was like, OK.
• 41:55
  Maybe, again, the way this movie is going, maybe she followed
• 41:58
  their scent. Oh, she must have the scent of
• 42:01
  blood and the tampon. And she followed it like a
• 42:05
  greyhound. Not a greyhound, a Bloodhound or
• 42:08
  a. Bloodhound So Jason is able to
• 42:11
  get out of the car and he runs to one of the rooms and he's
• 42:14
  able to slam the door and he sees her through the peephole
• 42:17
  because apparently she moved just as fast as he did.
• 42:20
  Yeah, apparently. Harry pops up behind him, and
• 42:25
  she's starting to look a little rough.
• 42:27
  Yeah. And you know, He asks.
• 42:28
  You know, are you all right? She's like, oh, you know, do I?
• 42:32
  Do I not look OK? And do I not look good?
• 42:35
  You know, he's like, no, you, you look good.
• 42:37
  You just look a little off. And she's like, fuck me as hard
• 42:40
  as you can. He's like, why?
• 42:43
  And she has a couple times and then she finally throws herself
• 42:46
  at him. Right.
• 42:47
  All right. Yeah, he's super excited because
• 42:51
  he was definitely a virgin. Correct.
• 42:53
  Yeah. So now Christine is in the
• 42:56
  bathroom in the room that she's at.
• 42:58
  Now, I'm also noticing that Christine is the only one that's
• 43:01
  not pissing somewhere. So maybe that's why she's OK in
• 43:07
  this, too. So we see that she's in the room
• 43:10
  with Brooklyn, who's smoking more pot.
• 43:12
  And she's like, oh, you're smoking that already?
• 43:14
  And he's like, yeah, I'm trying to get sex out of the sex smell
• 43:17
  out of the room. She's like, there isn't any, not
• 43:19
  yet. And he he smokes pot for the
• 43:22
  rest of this movie. Oh yeah, absolutely.
• 43:24
  That's I was like, damn, that thing lasts a long time.
• 43:27
  Yeah, I know, because he never really rolls another one.
• 43:29
  No. Christine tells him, you know,
• 43:32
  we're not having sex. And Brooklyn is like pushing and
• 43:35
  he's trying to convince her. And she's like, yeah, now this
• 43:37
  isn't going to happen. So now Pam to Dirk, Pam is
• 43:41
  texting somebody with a smile on her face.
• 43:43
  And Dirk asks, who you texting? I mean, he knows full well, oh,
• 43:46
  just a girlfriend. She's sending pics of her puppy.
• 43:49
  And he's like, oh, you know, can I see them?
• 43:51
  She's like no I deleted them because I needed to space on my
• 43:55
  phone. Right.
• 43:57
  Although he was sitting right there beside her, laying up
• 44:00
  against the bed, he could have easily seen whatever pictures
• 44:02
  she had. Absolutely.
• 44:03
  And so she hurricanes up confronting her about Mongodic
• 44:07
  and she gets mad at him about going through his phone more
• 44:11
  than the cheating, which I never understood.
• 44:14
  She's getting what? Oh, she's mad at him for going
• 44:16
  through her phone more than she's got him for Cheat for him
• 44:19
  accusing her of cheating. OK, Yeah.
• 44:21
  And that always has confused me is why are you more upset about
• 44:26
  the phone than you are about getting caught cheating?
• 44:31
  Well, she's trying to deflect. I mean, it's a.
• 44:33
  Oh, no, I know. But it's it's.
• 44:36
  Like we're going to suddenly forget.
• 44:37
  We're going to forget you're cheating.
• 44:39
  Right. You know, and it's so
• 44:41
  stereotypical. I mean, it's, it's a thing, you
• 44:44
  know, like almost every single person that you come across and
• 44:46
  go, oh, you looked through my phone.
• 44:49
  Oh, I saw you fucking somebody. Yeah, you're worse.
• 44:53
  We're looking through my phone. Right?
• 44:55
  Right. Yeah.
• 44:56
  Well, technically, you know, it is his.
• 44:57
  It is his fault, because if he hadn't looked at the phone, he
• 45:00
  wouldn't have known she was cheating.
• 45:01
  Yeah, exactly. So it's his fault that he knows
• 45:04
  she's cheating? That's.
• 45:05
  True. So there you go.
• 45:07
  You make sense. Yeah.
• 45:11
  So Dirk leaves the room and he gets down pretty far down the
• 45:14
  hallway and she's like, oh, if you don't come back, I'll never
• 45:17
  have sex with you again. And he's like, sweet, I've had
• 45:21
  better sex in boot camp. Yeah, good comeback.
• 45:24
  What? What boot camp is nothing but
• 45:27
  guys with you? I mean, it's OK if you're gay,
• 45:30
  but what that's. Probably the funniest line in
• 45:32
  the whole movie. Yeah, yeah, I would say so.
• 45:35
  So he's he continues to walk and Cornelius comes from nowhere and
• 45:41
  pushes her into the bedroom and closes the door and he's
• 45:44
  attacking her. He takes ATV off the wall and
• 45:47
  smacks her across the head. Doesn't really do much, but.
• 45:49
  No, I mean it was a big old ass TV like it was, you know, the
• 45:53
  big tube kind. I think those things are heavy.
• 45:56
  Yeah, and the cracks are pretty hard too.
• 45:58
  Yes. So Dirk, Dirk.
• 46:01
  Dirk hears a little bit of the scuffle, but he keeps on
• 46:04
  walking. The innkeeper is out there and
• 46:11
  he's like, hey, Dick. Like, what was it?
• 46:12
  Dick bag? Yeah, yeah.
• 46:14
  It's like Dick bag, you know, where you going?
• 46:17
  And he's like, what? He's like, is everything OK?
• 46:20
  And he's like, yeah, he's like, everything OK with your room?
• 46:23
  He's like, yeah, room is fine, but not the bitch that's in it.
• 46:26
  And he turns around and the innkeepers looking at his back,
• 46:29
  he's we see that there's a bloody that the bloody condom is
• 46:31
  attacked. Yeah.
• 46:33
  Attached to him. Not attacked, attached to him.
• 46:37
  And he ends up helping him remove it with a broom because
• 46:41
  you know, he can't see it, he can't grab it.
• 46:43
  So the guy helps him out with the broom.
• 46:45
  Right, well, that's why he called him Dick Bag.
• 46:47
  He called him Dick Bag when he turned back around because he
• 46:49
  could see it. He's like Dick Bag.
• 46:51
  And Dirk, would you call me? He's like, right, You've got
• 46:54
  something on your back. Bloody condom.
• 46:56
  So he brings it to the dumpster with like on the on the broom
• 47:02
  and he flings it, but it misses a dumpster that lands on
• 47:05
  Freddy's face. Yeah, because he's still back
• 47:07
  there, passed out. Yes, And we go back to
• 47:10
  Cornelius, who is still attacking Pam.
• 47:12
  And the final blow that he does is he bites down on her couch
• 47:17
  and is like shaking it like a dog and then tosses her off to
• 47:21
  the side. Yeah.
• 47:23
  Yeah. So meanwhile, Jason has given it
• 47:26
  to Christine. Like she, I mean, they're going
• 47:28
  at it. And she keeps saying, oh, fuck
• 47:31
  me, fuck me, fuck me. He's like, I'm trying, I'm
• 47:33
  trying. And he's like really trying to
• 47:34
  keep up with her. Right.
• 47:37
  And he finishes. He's calling her name, calling
• 47:39
  her name. And you know, it appears that
• 47:41
  she has died. You know, because that's the way
• 47:43
  it appears. And now she wakes up.
• 47:45
  Now she's super zombie because now she's got red eye.
• 47:49
  Yeah. So she's she's transforming into
• 47:52
  something that they don't ever really go further than a human
• 47:55
  form, but they just keep having like these changes to their face
• 47:58
  and their eyes and stuff. Yeah.
• 48:01
  So when she becomes a zombie, she starts to fuck him back,
• 48:05
  right? Like, I mean, she's like trying
• 48:06
  to go to town with him, like from from below.
• 48:09
  And yeah, then she sits up and bites his nipple off.
• 48:14
  And then she just randomly bites his chin off.
• 48:18
  Like what? I mean, I thought it was like
• 48:19
  his cheek or his nose, but it was his fucking chin.
• 48:24
  His whole lower lip, chin area, yeah.
• 48:26
  Yeah, and so a brief fight ensues, and now we're back at
• 48:32
  Freddie wakes up and the condoms on his face.
• 48:35
  He rolls over, it falls off, and he immediately jerks off.
• 48:39
  Yeah, he's like, Oh yeah, I forgot.
• 48:40
  I did. I had this going on.
• 48:41
  He didn't even realize the condom was on his face.
• 48:44
  Right. You know, bloody condom on his
• 48:45
  face, he doesn't know and then he's by a dumpster and that's a
• 48:48
  good spot to masturbate. Yeah.
• 48:51
  So at that point, he opens his eyes, because he kept his eyes
• 48:54
  close to this whole whole moment, opens his eyes, the
• 48:57
  innkeeper standing over him and he comments all you know, that
• 49:00
  egg in your head, you know, he looks really bad.
• 49:02
  You know, the missus can help. And Fred as I can now.
• 49:05
  And he just leaves. They're really, really trying
• 49:07
  hard to make the innkeeper look devious in some way.
• 49:12
  Yeah, he's got this weird creepiness about him, Yeah.
• 49:14
  Yeah, so Freddie goes into the room where he believes he left
• 49:18
  Carrie, right? And so he starts talking to her,
• 49:23
  ends up laying on top of her and she just ends up having starts
• 49:27
  to have sex and she's realizing that she's dry.
• 49:30
  So, you know, he goes down and he starts, you know, looking
• 49:33
  around and he's commenting on, you know, the corn and the
• 49:38
  peanuts And and then he goes down and he's like, you know, I
• 49:42
  didn't know that you had two clits.
• 49:45
  And dumbass, we're starting to realize because of the way this
• 49:49
  movie's going and because of the crude jokes that it's been
• 49:53
  having, that is Jason. Right.
• 49:55
  Yeah. And I don't know how he didn't
• 49:57
  know because, of course, totally, totally different body
• 50:00
  shape. He was a bigger boy and he
• 50:05
  doesn't have long because the girl, Carrie, she had long
• 50:09
  flowing blonde hair. This kid has short brown hair.
• 50:14
  But I was like. And she was fairly thin.
• 50:17
  Yeah, yeah. And he's fairly larger, right?
• 50:20
  And you know, just because the lights are off like you, you
• 50:24
  have no idea. And then you're when you're down
• 50:26
  there, you're like, oh, you're pretty stinky tonight.
• 50:29
  But I love how but but. But I love the way you stink.
• 50:32
  Yeah, I love the way you stink. And then all the extras down
• 50:34
  there, and then he's trying to make excuses for all the extra
• 50:36
  stuff down there and it's like, quits.
• 50:39
  What the fuck? And by the way, where the fuck
• 50:41
  was Carrie? Where did she go?
• 50:44
  She should have been in that room because that's where she
• 50:48
  she last was. They do this a lot in this
• 50:50
  movie, where people or things should be where they once were,
• 50:54
  and they're suddenly not there anymore.
• 50:55
  But she's just gone. She's not in the room at all.
• 50:58
  So now at this point, Freddie is just on top of Jason and he's
• 51:03
  just fucking him at this point, right?
• 51:07
  And unknowingly. And I must say that this scene
• 51:11
  was relatively excessively long. Yes, it.
• 51:15
  Was it went on for way too long? I stopped watching.
• 51:18
  Just, you know, I just stopped looking at the television.
• 51:21
  It's like, OK, let's go, hurry up.
• 51:24
  It's like we got the point. There's a lot of times where I
• 51:27
  stopped looking at the television this movie or threw,
• 51:29
  or I'd have my hand over my face or my whole face was in a like
• 51:34
  the whole movie. I was like this way.
• 51:39
  Right, so now Freddy finishes and he lays down and starts
• 51:44
  spooning Jason. So now we're back with Christine
• 51:47
  in Brooklyn, and they're talking about Samara, who invited
• 51:51
  Brooklyn, but she didn't come because they broke up.
• 51:54
  And so Brooklyn came anyway. And Brooklyn's like, you know,
• 51:57
  I'm here for your protection. You know, my hands are lethal
• 52:00
  weapons and, and he's just going on and on and on about stupid
• 52:04
  tough guy bullshit. So Christine leaves, and
• 52:08
  Brooklyn again puts in his order for Ginger, Snap and Sweet.
• 52:12
  Tea, right? Back to Freddie and Jason.
• 52:15
  Freddie is still due spooning Jason while he's quote UN quote
• 52:19
  asleep and Freddie wakes up and he starts fucking again.
• 52:23
  Because he's still in there. Correct.
• 52:25
  He's like, oh, you're tight. Yep, yeah, no shit.
• 52:30
  And he's. Stuck now.
• 52:32
  Right. Apparently the the anus
• 52:34
  constricted around the penis and so now he can't get unlocked
• 52:39
  right? So he reaches over and he turns
• 52:41
  on the light and that's when he realizes that it's Jason.
• 52:45
  I do have to say that he did not freak out as much as somebody
• 52:49
  else probably would. Yeah, I mean, he was pissed
• 52:52
  about it, but he. Right.
• 52:54
  But he wasn't like, I'm upset about it.
• 52:56
  Right, right. Yeah.
• 52:57
  You know, like there's no mental anguish.
• 53:00
  It was just fucking A yeah, it slipped.
• 53:07
  So Freddy's strike, trying to pull away and it's not working.
• 53:11
  And so they end up both falling on the floor.
• 53:14
  Christina is now outside. She's trying to get sodas, but
• 53:17
  the machine ate her money. And she starts walking off.
• 53:21
  Dirk comes up and he hits the machine and the soda comes out.
• 53:25
  Christina's still there. She looks over at him and, you
• 53:29
  know, they start flirting. You know, they, they have a bit
• 53:32
  of a bit of a time here and Christine's kind of into it, but
• 53:37
  she's like, aren't you and Pam together?
• 53:40
  And he's like, you know, Pam and I broke up.
• 53:42
  And so now the conversation starts going on about random
• 53:45
  things and you know. This conversation was way too
• 53:48
  long. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 53:49
  That's why I didn't really detail any of it except.
• 53:51
  For. Christine making a joke asking
• 53:54
  are you a psychotic rapist? Yeah.
• 53:57
  You know, as if if he was as if he would say, yeah, I am.
• 54:01
  Yeah. So back to Freddie and Jason
• 54:03
  after about like, a 45 minute, you know, flirt session.
• 54:07
  At least that's what it felt like.
• 54:09
  Yeah. Back to Freddie and Jason.
• 54:11
  They're still stuck together. The sore clerk ends up breaking
• 54:14
  into the room and starts choking Freddie while she's smoking.
• 54:19
  Right, she smokes the whole time.
• 54:21
  This whole time, even as a zombie, she ends up standing
• 54:25
  over them and she ends up queefing.
• 54:28
  Yeah. Like it was a smoke machine.
• 54:31
  Right. And it was green, like toxic.
• 54:34
  Green Yeah. And, you know, Freddy's, like,
• 54:37
  really choking on it and everything.
• 54:39
  And he reaches over. He grabs the bedroom lamp and
• 54:43
  stabs her with it. Yeah, she's like.
• 54:45
  Yeah, and she gets electrocuted and falls over.
• 54:49
  Right. I've never seen a light be used
• 54:52
  as a sword of some sort. Right.
• 54:58
  And The funny thing is with that door, because when Freddie went
• 55:00
  in that room initially, he locked and changed that door.
• 55:04
  Yes, he did. And so did Jason when he went in
• 55:08
  initially. But somehow everybody keeps
• 55:10
  getting in this door. It's a very poor lock.
• 55:14
  And out. And then when they get out they
• 55:16
  re lock it somehow with the chain.
• 55:18
  It's crazy. So now we're again back to
• 55:22
  Christy and Dirk with still more flirting.
• 55:26
  They end up carrying a scream, just random scream and they run
• 55:31
  to the back of the building and there's a girl walking with
• 55:34
  blood dripping down her leg. Christine rails out Carrie and
• 55:37
  she's walking towards the dumpster and she's just
• 55:40
  continuously screaming and there's no rhyme or reason,
• 55:43
  she's just screaming. Christine puts a hand on her
• 55:45
  shoulder and she turns around. Christine, not Christine, but
• 55:49
  Carrie turns around and now she's full zombie mode.
• 55:53
  Yeah, like, she's got the red eye.
• 55:55
  Her face is really messed up. And, like, she is just, you
• 55:59
  know, zombie mode, right? She runs after Christine, and
• 56:03
  Dark ends up clocking her in the face.
• 56:05
  She falls down immediately, pops back up again.
• 56:09
  Christine and Dark gets to the car.
• 56:11
  Christine jumps. I'm not Christine.
• 56:14
  Kerry jumps onto the car and mocks the keys out of Dirk's
• 56:18
  hands, which they end up skidding across down underneath
• 56:22
  the car. Oh, I missed that part because I
• 56:24
  thought he was in the car trying to put the keys in and he
• 56:27
  dropped them and then I was like how did they end up under the
• 56:30
  fucking car? Like is this Brad Flintstone
• 56:32
  car? Is it open on the bottom?
• 56:34
  I was trying to save the scene. You're saving the scene.
• 56:38
  Oh, so it did happen that way. No, no, it didn't.
• 56:42
  It happened the way you thought. That's what I'm saying.
• 56:45
  It did happen that way, OK, Because I was like.
• 56:47
  That's what I'm saying. I'm trying, I'm trying to save
• 56:49
  the scene. Like, you know, he found them
• 56:51
  underneath the car, so we'll just say it underneath the car.
• 56:54
  Oh we'll see. I had a whole comment on this
• 56:55
  scene and that was that he was in the car trying to start it.
• 56:59
  He dropped the keys while in the car, then ended up out of the
• 57:02
  car and then at some point had to find the keys and they were
• 57:05
  under the car. I was like fuck who is who is
• 57:08
  doing this movie? Like what did they forget what
• 57:11
  they wrote just 5 seconds ago? What the fuck?
• 57:15
  They had no quality assurance. No, not at all.
• 57:19
  God, it was awful. So bad.
• 57:21
  So yes, the the key does fall down onto the floor of the car
• 57:25
  and he's trying to get it, but he can't.
• 57:27
  And that's when Chris Carey starts hitting the glass and
• 57:31
  Dirk now is all of a sudden is out of the car with the gun
• 57:36
  right now. He did introduce the gun
• 57:38
  earlier, but it was in in a fantasy scene.
• 57:41
  So we weren't really sure if the gun was there or not, but
• 57:43
  apparently it was right? He shoots a couple times and she
• 57:47
  falls over and gets back in the car and Christine is crying
• 57:51
  because, you know, carries her best friend and he's like, oh,
• 57:54
  she's not your best friend anymore, right?
• 57:56
  Cornelius comes running towards the car breaks the window and
• 57:59
  pulls Dirk out. As he's walking towards Dirk.
• 58:03
  Dirk is pull like trying to pull himself away and Cornelius is
• 58:09
  unzipping his overalls and he starts peeing on Dirk.
• 58:14
  Let me flip Dirk over and pulls the pants out.
• 58:17
  Christine shoots him before he can do anything to Dirk.
• 58:21
  So, Christine, to save the day. Right.
• 58:24
  And then this Cornelius pissed all over Dirk like a ton.
• 58:29
  Yeah. Oh yeah.
• 58:30
  Dirk gets back to the car, totally dry.
• 58:33
  Yeah. No, no, no, drop a pee on.
• 58:36
  It and that's the thing too, like this movie, it's appears to
• 58:40
  be like all taken in like 1 day. I guess.
• 58:44
  And they are pissing way too much for people who aren't
• 58:50
  drinking anything. It was just like earlier when
• 58:53
  they when Pam and Dirk stopped at the convenience store, she
• 58:57
  went in there to pee, then next thing you know they have to pull
• 59:00
  over the side the road so she can pee.
• 59:01
  What the fuck? You got diabetes?
• 59:03
  What's going on? Go see a doctor honey, you
• 59:07
  literally speed. It's diabetes.
• 59:10
  Yeah, diabetes. So Christine shoots shoots
• 59:14
  Cornelius before Durkin do anything and she's kind of
• 59:17
  freaked out because she just shot somebody.
• 59:20
  So she throws the gun onto the ground and it falls with a
• 59:23
  plastic Sud. Yeah, like, why do you get rid
• 59:26
  of that gun? That's like, right?
• 59:28
  Why don't we keep doing this? But you could definitely tell
• 59:30
  that it was a fake gun because it really sounded like plastic
• 59:33
  falling on the ground. Yeah, it had no oomph.
• 59:36
  Look at the ground as big as that gun was.
• 59:38
  Yeah, right. So obviously Christine and Dirk
• 59:42
  were upset and so they called the police and she tells the
• 59:44
  police my friend tried to kill me, she must have eaten
• 59:47
  something or she's on her period, as if the police really
• 59:49
  need to know that. And then she tells the police
• 59:51
  where they are and Dirk is looking for his keys, which are
• 59:54
  now under the car. Right.
• 59:57
  Somehow. Some some wonderful writing
• 1:00:00
  here. Christine walks over to Carrie
• 1:00:03
  in disbelief that she's actually gone now.
• 1:00:07
  Dirk is trying to get the keys but he really can't reach them
• 1:00:10
  and Cornelius jumps up and pulls him from out from under the car.
• 1:00:14
  Dirk kicks him in the balls when we see Christine trying to get
• 1:00:18
  the gun to shoot Cornelius again, but Carrie jumps up and
• 1:00:21
  grabs her wrist. So Carrie wasn't really dead.
• 1:00:24
  So her BFF is still here. Thank God.
• 1:00:28
  Dirk kicks Cornelius in the balls a couple more times, which
• 1:00:31
  is really painful for Cornelius because apparently, I guess just
• 1:00:36
  like in real life, his strengths and his his weakness are both of
• 1:00:40
  his genitals. Right.
• 1:00:42
  It was his kryptonite, apparently.
• 1:00:44
  The. The the Nads and the badge right
• 1:00:49
  Kryptonite. You know, it was just a little
• 1:00:51
  extra sensitive. So now Carrie's choking
• 1:00:53
  Christine and and Dark tells her, you know, oh, kick her in
• 1:00:56
  the vag. Yeah.
• 1:00:58
  So she does, and her fork gets stuck and Carrie's like flipping
• 1:01:04
  her tongue, like like she's getting turned on by it.
• 1:01:08
  Christine breaks away, but her shoe is still stuck inside
• 1:01:12
  Carrie. That was what held the kick.
• 1:01:14
  It was and Carrie pulls it out and then just throws it at her.
• 1:01:20
  Right. And and it wasn't like a heavy
• 1:01:22
  thick shoe. It was a very, I mean it was
• 1:01:26
  almost slipper like. Yeah, It was like she threw it
• 1:01:28
  at her. It was a low top bands,
• 1:01:31
  whatever, Like low regular band sneakers.
• 1:01:34
  Yeah. Yeah, or like Converse or
• 1:01:36
  something like a low ride. Whatever called, well, it didn't
• 1:01:39
  have any kind of like it didn't go with the leg at all.
• 1:01:41
  It was just like a regular sneaker.
• 1:01:42
  But it was definitely like a Vans, like Vans or something.
• 1:01:45
  So Dirk kicks Cornelius yet again and is able to get the
• 1:01:49
  gun. He shoots Carrie, who lands on
• 1:01:52
  Christine and she's lands face first into Christine's crotch,
• 1:01:56
  Right. So Dirk and Christine meet up
• 1:01:59
  and Carrie's still alive. They go into a motel room and
• 1:02:03
  Brooklyn is asking about snacks and like who the fuck is this
• 1:02:06
  guy? Christine tells them, oh,
• 1:02:08
  Carrie's dead, but she's trying to kill us.
• 1:02:11
  And he's like, who the fuck is Carrie?
• 1:02:15
  You know, now he threw up on her.
• 1:02:16
  And, you know, well, she threw up on him and then he threw up
• 1:02:20
  next to her. And they're like, oh, you know,
• 1:02:21
  go look outside and he does it first.
• 1:02:23
  But even this jump scare, because you're a jump scare, you
• 1:02:28
  typically have like a little bit of like a little bit of suspense
• 1:02:32
  to it. It looks out the window, sees
• 1:02:34
  nothing. Jump scare.
• 1:02:36
  Right. You know you couldn't give it
• 1:02:37
  like a couple extra seconds, right?
• 1:02:39
  Kind of like what you did with the motel sign.
• 1:02:42
  You could have added that in this time wise.
• 1:02:46
  Right. Yeah.
• 1:02:47
  Then he jumps back again and asks again who Dirk is.
• 1:02:51
  We have a close up of Dirk's face and he puts the gun on his
• 1:02:55
  shoulder and says I'm Dirk. Yeah.
• 1:02:59
  Really. So the police show up and he
• 1:03:02
  doesn't really seem to know where he's supposed to be.
• 1:03:04
  He's like, where's that address? You know, it's probably like the
• 1:03:08
  only hotel in this in this God forsake in town anyway.
• 1:03:11
  And it's apparently right next to the convenience store.
• 1:03:14
  Right. Yeah.
• 1:03:17
  The only two places in town just go there.
• 1:03:19
  And, you know, he's like, we have the right address because
• 1:03:21
  there's nothing going on here. And the clerk is watching him
• 1:03:25
  from the woods. I don't really know why that
• 1:03:27
  scene was in there, but. How did she get out there?
• 1:03:31
  How did she get out there? It was another one of those
• 1:03:34
  things, like why is she outside? She was just in the room,
• 1:03:37
  knocked out with Freddie and Jason.
• 1:03:39
  Now she's outside in the woods and we just get a shot of her
• 1:03:43
  face like when the cop's there she does nothing, maybe smokes,
• 1:03:48
  but how the fuck is she there? Because the door is locked from
• 1:03:54
  the inside with a chain still. This is true.
• 1:04:00
  And now we're back at Freddie and Jason.
• 1:04:04
  Freddie's lubing up, trying to separate from from Jason, and
• 1:04:07
  he's just like, I'm not gay. I'm going to need to talk to my
• 1:04:11
  priest after this, right? And so the police start knocking
• 1:04:15
  on Freddie's door. He's like open up police.
• 1:04:17
  And Freddie's like, oh, just one minute.
• 1:04:19
  He's trying to clean up, you know, the blood and the stains
• 1:04:23
  and everything, trying to get Jason back up in bed and.
• 1:04:25
  You know they're still attached. She's still attached, you know.
• 1:04:29
  And so after a while, the police policeman gets pissed off.
• 1:04:33
  He kicks in the door. He sees Jason on the bed with
• 1:04:36
  Freddie, and he's like Sir. And Freddie's like he's dead
• 1:04:40
  tired. Right.
• 1:04:42
  Pause for laughter. Right.
• 1:04:47
  The cop is looking at them. He's like, why are you guys
• 1:04:50
  together? Like why are you guys laying
• 1:04:52
  together? Why so close?
• 1:04:54
  Yeah, why so close? And Freddie's like, oh, well, we
• 1:04:56
  just finished. And the cop laughs at them, and
• 1:05:00
  he starts questioning about the events of the evening.
• 1:05:02
  And they're like, he's like, oh. And Jason moans a little bit,
• 1:05:06
  and cop looks back. And I don't know why that, you
• 1:05:09
  know, made the cop like, you know, take a double take.
• 1:05:13
  Yeah, it wasn't even like he said anything weird or he just
• 1:05:15
  kind of groaned, like, you know, would grow maybe in their sleep,
• 1:05:18
  like turning over or something. And then Freddie's just like,
• 1:05:21
  oh, it's been a bad night. So now we're back with Dark
• 1:05:25
  Christine in Brooklyn. They leave the room.
• 1:05:27
  I do want to say real quick about that scene.
• 1:05:29
  Freddie did not have to respond to that cop at the door because
• 1:05:34
  no. He didn't.
• 1:05:34
  It could have been an empty room.
• 1:05:36
  I mean, he didn't have to say anything.
• 1:05:38
  He could have just let it pretend like there was empty or
• 1:05:41
  they were fucking sleeping. It's the middle of the night,
• 1:05:43
  but he chose to and the and the cop when after he was, you know,
• 1:05:48
  said, oh, we just finished or whatever.
• 1:05:49
  The cop did this stupid like floppy hands.
• 1:05:54
  Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:05:55
  Are you guys gay or whatever? And I'm like, really?
• 1:05:58
  I was like, what the fuck? This is 2016.
• 1:06:02
  I was. Going to say that's so 1984.
• 1:06:05
  I know I was like what the fuck is this?
• 1:06:08
  So Dirk Christina Brooklyn leaves the room.
• 1:06:11
  They still have the gun. As they're leaving, the police
• 1:06:14
  see them. And he has, you know, he ends up
• 1:06:16
  pulling his gun because he sees theirs and Christine is trying
• 1:06:21
  to explain to them that they're the ones that called.
• 1:06:24
  So the police isn't, he's not listening to them at all.
• 1:06:26
  And he still has the gun pointed on him.
• 1:06:28
  He calls dispatch like, oh, I don't know what's going on.
• 1:06:31
  And Christine drops her hands. Is like, how stupid are you?
• 1:06:34
  I am trying to tell you what's going on.
• 1:06:37
  It's like you need backup or SWAT team or something.
• 1:06:40
  This is where she says that they have zombies.
• 1:06:42
  They're zombies or whatever. This is the only time it's
• 1:06:44
  mentioned. Dirk sees something off camera
• 1:06:47
  behind the cop, but we don't really see what it is
• 1:06:49
  immediately, but we realize it's Cornelius.
• 1:06:53
  Dirk is trying to tell him, you know, hey, you know, something's
• 1:06:55
  behind you. Cop again, isn't listening.
• 1:06:58
  He finally turns around and Cornelius is jerking off behind
• 1:07:02
  him. Shocking.
• 1:07:04
  And when he finishes? This is ridiculous.
• 1:07:08
  Like fucking gallons of milk. Right.
• 1:07:13
  Just fly out of this man. That was great that you don't
• 1:07:17
  see it coming out of his Dick, but that's where it's coming
• 1:07:19
  from. Yeah, and apparently it's acid
• 1:07:21
  because it starts eating away at the cop.
• 1:07:24
  Right. Well, it's all radioactive, I'm
• 1:07:26
  guessing. Right, so now again, Freddie and
• 1:07:30
  Jason, they are still stuck. Jason is finally starting to
• 1:07:35
  move around and you know now he is a zombie.
• 1:07:39
  He's trying to get up, but Freddie's stuck in his ass, so
• 1:07:41
  he's just crawling to the door. Freddie is not happy about
• 1:07:45
  anything that's going on right now.
• 1:07:47
  Yeah, he's really worried about everybody seeing them like this
• 1:07:49
  because he doesn't want to think he's gay.
• 1:07:51
  Yeah. Right.
• 1:07:52
  Not. Not the fact that his dead
• 1:07:53
  friend just woke up and is like dragging him.
• 1:07:56
  Yeah. And it's like Jason continues
• 1:07:58
  on. Freddie is, you know, stretched
• 1:08:00
  across the door as Jason is walking through or crawling
• 1:08:05
  through. Freddy's head is by one door jam
• 1:08:07
  and is feeded by the other door jam.
• 1:08:10
  And honestly, the way he's going through his knees would have
• 1:08:13
  bent just fine. Yeah, well, I.
• 1:08:16
  It would have been a little comfortable.
• 1:08:18
  Yeah, I'm just glad they did it the way they did it right.
• 1:08:21
  So I thought it was going to go another way.
• 1:08:24
  I was going to tear his Dick off.
• 1:08:26
  Yeah, it could have gone that way, right?
• 1:08:28
  I thought the same thing too. I'm surprised they didn't do it
• 1:08:30
  that way. Right.
• 1:08:32
  Maybe that was maybe that was too extreme.
• 1:08:35
  I guess maybe. So they eventually get through
• 1:08:38
  the door, but Freddy gets broken in half, right?
• 1:08:41
  But as I said, his legs are in such a manner where they just
• 1:08:45
  would have bent, you know, because he would have bent at
• 1:08:47
  the knee. Yeah, he wasn't backwards.
• 1:08:50
  Right. And he may have been right.
• 1:08:54
  He may have been a little uncomfortable, like having like
• 1:08:57
  his legs and and face being dragged across the door jam,
• 1:09:00
  but. He wasn't dead, Yeah.
• 1:09:02
  All right, so now after the cop is burning with acid, come Dirk,
• 1:09:10
  Christine and Brooklyn run to the car and and we might add
• 1:09:14
  also that it's getting near the end of the movie and Brooklyn is
• 1:09:17
  still alive. Yep.
• 1:09:18
  I was like, Oh well, at least he's making it.
• 1:09:23
  And, and, and, and we learned that that's not the case because
• 1:09:26
  the clerk catches up to them, gets a hold of Brooklyn.
• 1:09:30
  No, this was the mom. Was it the mom?
• 1:09:33
  Yeah, it was the I don't know how she got there, but suddenly.
• 1:09:35
  Oh yeah, it. Was the mom?
• 1:09:36
  One of these motherfuckers showed up at this fucking hotel
• 1:09:39
  motel, and it was the mom, and she was on top of the Jeep or
• 1:09:42
  whatever their car was and from Cornelius's mom or whatever she
• 1:09:46
  was, Yeah. Yeah, it was the mom.
• 1:09:48
  That's right, I because at this point I forgot about her because
• 1:09:51
  we haven't seen her since like forever.
• 1:09:54
  Ago, right? So the mom ends up sticking
• 1:09:59
  Brooklyn's head up her vag. Right, and she also has the
• 1:10:04
  Misty stuff. Right.
• 1:10:06
  And and also he ends up getting burned.
• 1:10:09
  Dirk shoots her because this time she doesn't fall, but her,
• 1:10:13
  her, her grip on Brooklyn does let her let him go.
• 1:10:19
  Cornelius is now running away from the cop and punches Dirk
• 1:10:23
  down. Dirk gets up again and runs.
• 1:10:26
  Christine already ran away. She ends up tripping over
• 1:10:29
  Freddie and as she does the mailman hits her in the head
• 1:10:33
  against the wall. When she's like she's running
• 1:10:35
  around the corner, he grabs her and slams her against the wall.
• 1:10:41
  Did you have something? No, I just preparing.
• 1:10:44
  Oh, oh, oh, oh, I thought, I thought you were getting
• 1:10:47
  excited. No.
• 1:10:49
  No, not. At all.
• 1:10:52
  Dirk goes to the room that he was in and he sees Pam is dead
• 1:10:56
  on the floor and as he's going through Carrie jumps on his back
• 1:10:59
  and bites him and he tosses her down to the ground and he also
• 1:11:02
  really curb stomps her head into the floor.
• 1:11:06
  The mailman is standing over Christine with a super long but
• 1:11:10
  really skinny penis in her face. But the end was like huge it.
• 1:11:15
  Was a big, definitely big head. It was so gross.
• 1:11:20
  The worst fucking movie ever. Dirk.
• 1:11:24
  Dirk is looking down at Carrier and behind him.
• 1:11:29
  Was it the clerk this time? Was the mother again?
• 1:11:33
  I think this is the clerk. I think the clerk, she does come
• 1:11:35
  back at some point. Right, so the clerk approaches
• 1:11:38
  the door and Dirk closes it and locks it behind him again.
• 1:11:42
  Carrie is still not dead because her body turns towards him and
• 1:11:46
  spreads her legs. So apparently her bottom half is
• 1:11:49
  still alive, but not her top half.
• 1:11:51
  And so Dirk looks in. And now we have a close up of a
• 1:11:56
  massive bloody vag with teeth. Yeah.
• 1:12:01
  And apparently a tongue, because it shoots out and wraps around
• 1:12:05
  his neck and pulls him really close, right?
• 1:12:09
  I mean, I mean, I I'm not necessarily new to anatomy, but
• 1:12:13
  I could have missed that part. Me too, I've had it my whole
• 1:12:18
  life like. That could have been so much fun
• 1:12:21
  you. Would need a man at that point
• 1:12:24
  like. So he's, he's really fighting
• 1:12:26
  and trying to pull away and, you know, the vag wants to eat him
• 1:12:29
  and he's really contemplating what he needs to do to get out
• 1:12:32
  of the situation. So he ends up biting the tongue
• 1:12:35
  thing. Yeah.
• 1:12:37
  And he grabs the gun and the vag says fuck me when Dirk ends up
• 1:12:45
  putting the gun into the vag and fires.
• 1:12:49
  Right now Kerry is dead. Yeah, we have now figured out
• 1:12:53
  how to kill these things. Yes.
• 1:12:55
  The mailman is still standing over Christine when the
• 1:12:58
  innkeeper comes up and hits him in the head.
• 1:13:01
  Christine thanks him. I didn't catch what he says.
• 1:13:03
  But I can't either. But the mailman's penis pops up
• 1:13:07
  again, and it appears that they cut it off.
• 1:13:11
  At least that's what it seems like.
• 1:13:13
  Because he hit him in the head with a shovel.
• 1:13:16
  So she grabbed the shovel when it came back up again and she
• 1:13:19
  slammed it down on his groin area.
• 1:13:22
  Cut it off. I'm assuming he cut it off.
• 1:13:25
  Right. And so then the innkeeper hits
• 1:13:27
  Christine in the head with the shovel, knocking her out.
• 1:13:31
  I don't know how the shovel keeps changing hands, but yeah,
• 1:13:33
  Dirk is nursing his wounds. When Pam gets up.
• 1:13:36
  She stares at him longingly, and you know, he stares in return,
• 1:13:40
  not so longingly. And he ends up shooting her in
• 1:13:44
  the vag, and she falls down pretty violently.
• 1:13:47
  So we can assume that she's no longer with us.
• 1:13:51
  Right. He is washing blood off his face
• 1:13:55
  when he ends up getting hit in the face with a shovel.
• 1:13:59
  This person looks like they had some sort of like robe or or
• 1:14:04
  hood over his head so you can see who he was and he ends up
• 1:14:08
  falling on top of Pam and of course it's in the 69 position.
• 1:14:14
  Right, any way they can. Any way they can get a good sex
• 1:14:18
  joke in? Oh, absolutely.
• 1:14:20
  Yeah. So now there's a room with
• 1:14:22
  plastic sheets, kind of like a Dexter situation with blood on
• 1:14:26
  it. Christine's like waking up and
• 1:14:29
  we see both Christine and Dirk, they're duct taped to a table
• 1:14:33
  and a chair with the innkeeper where where the innkeeper is
• 1:14:38
  cutting an ear off from a a rotting dead head.
• 1:14:41
  And he ends up eating it. And he and his family are
• 1:14:44
  sitting around the table laughing as Dirk and Christine
• 1:14:48
  are screaming. So that kid with the mask is
• 1:14:51
  still sitting there and his at this point, I believe his
• 1:14:55
  mother's there. And she looked young.
• 1:14:58
  I thought it was the daughter she did.
• 1:14:59
  She looked like Alanis Morissette.
• 1:15:00
  That that's why I said it. Really.
• 1:15:01
  And who knows? I mean the the way this movie is
• 1:15:05
  has went it could be like an incestuous relationship.
• 1:15:10
  Right. Because the girl herself doesn't
• 1:15:12
  seem like she knows how to talk. Yeah, or.
• 1:15:15
  Something because like she does have like quote UN quote
• 1:15:18
  speaking roles but you can't understand her.
• 1:15:20
  Right, this is where it becomes a totally different movie.
• 1:15:24
  Yes. Yeah.
• 1:15:25
  The innkeeper reaches over and it looks like he's going to cut
• 1:15:29
  either a finger or Dirk's hand, and he's talking about, oh, you
• 1:15:32
  know, we can finally have fresh meat or something to that
• 1:15:34
  effect. And Dark sees a gun that's
• 1:15:36
  sitting by the innkeeper. Now when Cornelius comes in and
• 1:15:41
  saves the day. Yeah, he breaks in and he rips
• 1:15:46
  out the innkeeper's throat and then he punches the clown mask
• 1:15:50
  kid and Dark tells Christine that they have the gun.
• 1:15:54
  I don't know how they got themselves out of the table,
• 1:15:56
  because they're pretty duct taped down to the table, but
• 1:15:59
  Christine got the guns and Dark tells her to shoot Cornelius in
• 1:16:03
  the brain. I don't know why, because
• 1:16:05
  Cornelius Cornelius just saved them and she doesn't fall down
• 1:16:12
  and Dirk says the other brain referencing his.
• 1:16:16
  Testicles. This was so dumb.
• 1:16:18
  I was like, you just wasted so much time by saying it that way
• 1:16:23
  only to put in the line the other no the other brain like
• 1:16:27
  come on what the fuck. And this was a revolver which
• 1:16:31
  they had been using the whole show.
• 1:16:33
  I was like, how many fucking rounds they have in this gun
• 1:16:37
  because they shot a lot of people.
• 1:16:38
  A lot of times they didn't go down.
• 1:16:40
  They, they, they weren't like regular zombies where you could
• 1:16:42
  shoot them in the head and they'd die.
• 1:16:43
  They would just get knocked out for a minute and then they'd be
• 1:16:45
  back. Right, she ends up shooting him
• 1:16:48
  in in the testicles and Cornelius is standing there for
• 1:16:51
  a minute in pain when one testicle falls out and Cornelius
• 1:16:56
  falls over and Dark and Christine are able to make the
• 1:16:59
  mistake. Their escape rather.
• 1:17:01
  I mean mistake also is a good word for this movie.
• 1:17:05
  Right. They get in the car and this
• 1:17:11
  time they have the keys and it starts just fine.
• 1:17:16
  I think this is the first movie I've ever seen where the car
• 1:17:20
  starts on the first turn and doesn't get into an immediate
• 1:17:23
  accident, Dirk says. Let's check the fuck out right
• 1:17:28
  when he ends up becoming attacked by Jason.
• 1:17:31
  Yeah. And and the clerk, because this
• 1:17:36
  Dirk gets attacked by Jason and Christine gets attacked by the
• 1:17:39
  clerk. So there's a lot of like, weird
• 1:17:42
  yelling and choking going on and a pipe from somewhere falls to
• 1:17:46
  the ground. It's the God pipe and the God
• 1:17:50
  from the. God, right, That's right, we
• 1:17:52
  have the we do have the God pipe don't.
• 1:17:54
  We right, yeah. And I was like, did they just
• 1:17:58
  forget that that was supposed to be there?
• 1:17:59
  And they threw it in? Like it literally just fell from
• 1:18:03
  nowhere. And they both looked at it like,
• 1:18:05
  oh, this spell from nowhere. Oh, there it is.
• 1:18:07
  Yeah, I was like, what the hell is this stupid shit?
• 1:18:12
  So Dirk hits Jason in the head a couple times and now we're back
• 1:18:16
  at the clerk and and Christine and Christine pulls her ovaries
• 1:18:20
  out. Yeah.
• 1:18:22
  She jams her fist up into her crotch and pulls out her
• 1:18:25
  ovaries. Huge fucking ovaries.
• 1:18:28
  Huge. Ovaries, but they did have
• 1:18:30
  mouths on them. Yes, yes, and and this does end
• 1:18:33
  up killing the the clerk finally.
• 1:18:36
  Yeah, and they're like angry cherries.
• 1:18:38
  Yes, Dirk is standing over Jason and Jason is like saying
• 1:18:43
  something like penis and like, yeah, he's whispering something
• 1:18:48
  but I can only make out the word penis.
• 1:18:50
  I couldn't make out what are we saying.
• 1:18:52
  And Dirk starts beating him in the chest again.
• 1:18:55
  Don't know why? Because he knows how to kill.
• 1:18:56
  Yes, at the whole time I was like, this is taking way too
• 1:18:59
  long. Why is he beating him in the
• 1:19:01
  chest over and over when he knows he just needs to get him
• 1:19:05
  in the Dick? Like it took forever.
• 1:19:07
  I was like, just want this movie to be over.
• 1:19:09
  They knew. They knew I wanted to be over
• 1:19:11
  and they weren't just taunting me.
• 1:19:13
  Jason finally does the final blow and he stabs his dog.
• 1:19:19
  That's pretty funny. So Dirk is in a little bit of
• 1:19:24
  shock at this point. He stands up and Christine's
• 1:19:27
  like, I want to go home. Dirk offers to drive, and they
• 1:19:32
  end up driving off, running over Cornelius's lonely testicle.
• 1:19:37
  Where it came from I don't fucking know because it was
• 1:19:41
  somewhere else in the building. No, it was.
• 1:19:44
  Those were the ovaries. Oh yeah, you can cut my rant
• 1:19:47
  out. So now we have tea light and
• 1:19:53
  Dirk is standing out on the grass and Christine is sleeping
• 1:19:58
  in the car. And then all of a sudden she has
• 1:19:59
  a flash dream about Cornelius's face and she jumps up.
• 1:20:03
  She walks over to Dirk and grabs his hand.
• 1:20:06
  She thanks Dirk, and then they kiss.
• 1:20:10
  Right. And they're filthy, gross,
• 1:20:12
  bloody disgusting. Oh yeah, absolutely.
• 1:20:14
  Like they they look like the toilet from the beginning.
• 1:20:17
  Right, but they are in a nice big romantic fields with the
• 1:20:23
  sun. They are.
• 1:20:25
  I mean, why waste the fields in the daylight?
• 1:20:27
  Right, what else you going to do?
• 1:20:29
  So they separate from each other and Dirk looks at her and it's
• 1:20:32
  like Oh my God. And she's like what?
• 1:20:34
  She runs over the car and looks in the mirror and she has super
• 1:20:38
  herpes. Yeah, her lips are all crazy.
• 1:20:41
  Yeah, and Dirk's like, oh, maybe I'm immune.
• 1:20:44
  I'm so sorry. And she's like stay away from
• 1:20:48
  me. And she's like walking away and
• 1:20:50
  the car comes by and hits her and a couple buckets of blood
• 1:20:53
  fly all over Dirk. Right.
• 1:20:55
  So then we have the two guys from the beginning come up in
• 1:20:59
  their truck again, looks Immaculate because again, this
• 1:21:02
  whole thing seemed like it happened, started like the day
• 1:21:05
  before. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it did.
• 1:21:08
  Yeah. And it was funny because right
• 1:21:09
  before these guys showed up, I was like, well, I guess those
• 1:21:12
  other guys, what happened to them?
• 1:21:13
  They I guess they aren't ever coming back.
• 1:21:15
  They made to the beach or wherever they were going.
• 1:21:17
  Honestly, it was the only part of the story that had complete
• 1:21:21
  continuity. Right.
• 1:21:25
  So one of the guys gets out with the guy is like, are you one of
• 1:21:27
  them? Dirk says no.
• 1:21:30
  Christine gets up and they shoot her in the match.
• 1:21:33
  Now I don't know how she gets up considering the amount of blood
• 1:21:36
  that she would have lost. I mean because there was more
• 1:21:39
  blood than the human body could possibly carry.
• 1:21:43
  And the, the fact that in order to kill them, you have to shoot
• 1:21:46
  them in their genital area, right?
• 1:21:49
  She was slammed by a car. I'm sure it probably hit her
• 1:21:53
  genitals in some way, shape or form, right?
• 1:21:56
  That didn't kill her. They have to shoot them.
• 1:21:58
  Right. Yeah, and then she gets up
• 1:22:01
  miraculously. Now she's dead and they ask, was
• 1:22:05
  she one of them? She was awfully pretty.
• 1:22:08
  That matters. And so, so they ask you, oh,
• 1:22:12
  what are you going to do? Is like, I'm going to go South.
• 1:22:14
  They're like, oh, we've already been there.
• 1:22:15
  There's nobody there. You know, there's more of these
• 1:22:17
  things walking around. And Dirk says I'm still going to
• 1:22:21
  go South. I'll just take my chances.
• 1:22:24
  And he says he says Earth just googled a hero and my name came
• 1:22:30
  up as #1 As an ambulance plows into him.
• 1:22:34
  Right. The credits roll, thank God, and
• 1:22:38
  I have to say in the credits there are some bloopers.
• 1:22:43
  Yeah. They look like they had fun
• 1:22:45
  making the movie. They really did like the
• 1:22:48
  bloopers in the movie they make. They they look like they had
• 1:22:51
  that complete blast making the movie right and that alone was
• 1:22:56
  worth like watching the credits for.
• 1:23:05
  But they did, they looked like they had fun.
• 1:23:06
  So I mean, that made me feel good about the movie, at least
• 1:23:10
  in that respect, that they at least enjoyed it, even though it
• 1:23:14
  was terrible to watch. They had fun making.
• 1:23:17
  Right, right. Well, the whole movie should
• 1:23:18
  have been a blooper. I mean, geez.
• 1:23:20
  So what are your thoughts? Where do I begin?
• 1:23:24
  So I hated this movie in case anybody wants to know.
• 1:23:29
  Couldn't figure it out. I absolutely fucking hated this
• 1:23:31
  movie from the jump all the way through.
• 1:23:35
  Fucking hated it. And I hated the fact that, OK,
• 1:23:40
  so I watched the credits too, and I watched them all the way
• 1:23:41
  through because I, regardless of the movie, I watched the credits
• 1:23:44
  all the way through. Doesn't matter.
• 1:23:45
  At the end of the credits, whoever it was that wrote it or
• 1:23:49
  directed or whatever, he thanked a whole shit ton of people.
• 1:23:53
  Just yeah, I saw that. And and explained why he was
• 1:23:56
  thanking them. The first one was God.
• 1:23:57
  And it said God, I found you again and I was like and you
• 1:24:00
  made this shit. I was like, what?
• 1:24:04
  I missed. That part, it was the very first
• 1:24:07
  one. And so I felt a little bad about
• 1:24:10
  hating this movie so much because obviously this movie
• 1:24:13
  must have meant a lot to him. It was a labor of love of some
• 1:24:17
  sort. So I felt a little bit bad for
• 1:24:19
  hating it, but I still hate it. It's a it's such a trash movie
• 1:24:23
  that he for someone to care so much that he writes all those
• 1:24:27
  thank yous to I I swear it had to be like 30 people.
• 1:24:31
  You didn't put that much care into writing the story.
• 1:24:34
  The incontinuity alone drove me fucking crazy.
• 1:24:39
  I was like, how do you forget where people are?
• 1:24:42
  What's going on? Like, what the fuck is this
• 1:24:45
  mess? And then just the gross.
• 1:24:48
  Like, I mean, I'm not one to away from gore like I, I, I gore
• 1:24:53
  doesn't bother me. But it was just so much and it
• 1:24:57
  was so over the top and it was so overly sexualized.
• 1:25:01
  It was just so disgusting. I was like, so it's a bad story,
• 1:25:06
  bad directing, bad continuity, gross out for no reason.
• 1:25:12
  And the only thing that I thought maybe because especially
• 1:25:16
  when the pipe dropped out of nowhere and I was like, maybe
• 1:25:20
  this is supposed to be a spoof movie of some sort.
• 1:25:23
  And some kind of weird way, like not in as good a way as like
• 1:25:28
  other spoof movies that we've seen, like a scary movie or
• 1:25:31
  whatever, even though those are kind of whatever.
• 1:25:33
  But there, you know for sure those are spoof movies.
• 1:25:36
  They're very specific. You know that this is what it
• 1:25:40
  is. But this one was like it, it
• 1:25:43
  could have been a spoof movie. And if they had put it out as a
• 1:25:46
  spoof movie, like they were spoofing 80s slashers in some
• 1:25:50
  sort of way or whatever, OK, I can give it some grace.
• 1:25:55
  I, I, I be like, OK, I get it. But they, I don't think they
• 1:25:58
  were, I think he this was serious.
• 1:26:00
  And they stole so much shit from so many other movies.
• 1:26:05
  Between the names of the people, there were so many scenes that
• 1:26:07
  reminded me of so many other movies.
• 1:26:09
  Like even the part where the family at the end that for no
• 1:26:13
  reason, the innkeeper guy, he's suddenly, oh, it was weird
• 1:26:17
  psycho. It had feelings of Texas
• 1:26:19
  Chainsaw Massacre, stuff like that.
• 1:26:21
  It just kind of gave me that kind of feeling.
• 1:26:23
  And then when they got hit by the cars it made me think of
• 1:26:26
  shit Rob zombies movie. Final destination.
• 1:26:29
  Well, Final Destination was one, but also a little bit of Rob
• 1:26:33
  Zombies movie. What the fuck?
• 1:26:35
  House of 1000 Corpses where the girl gets hit.
• 1:26:38
  I mean, not quite like that, but I mean, I thought of Destination
• 1:26:41
  and and rob zombies movie because whenever somebody gets
• 1:26:44
  hit by a car like that, that's what I think of.
• 1:26:46
  But they they just used a bunch of other stuff like I don't
• 1:26:50
  know, I I absolutely just hate this movie.
• 1:26:54
  I don't recommend anybody ever watch this movie.
• 1:26:58
  Do not watch this movie with children around.
• 1:27:01
  Or pets. Anybody like don't, just don't
• 1:27:04
  watch it, don't do it, don't do it.
• 1:27:08
  It's God awful. So how many cents would you give
• 1:27:10
  it? Zero negative -10 can I give
• 1:27:14
  negative tents? Can they pay me for watching
• 1:27:16
  that fucking movie? But and I and I looked at IMDb
• 1:27:19
  and they have a really low rating on their like they had
• 1:27:21
  like 4-4 out of 10 or whatever. And some people were comments,
• 1:27:25
  mostly comments were all negative.
• 1:27:26
  But some people, somebody was like, I bet whoever made this
• 1:27:28
  movie had their friends go in and their four friends, I guess
• 1:27:34
  like this movie because it was awful.
• 1:27:36
  And so hopefully this is an agreement with the vast majority
• 1:27:42
  of people and we don't get a bunch of shit for talking shit
• 1:27:44
  out of this movie. But yeah, it's sucked.
• 1:27:47
  It was so bad. The acting wasn't great.
• 1:27:49
  Like there was nothing good about this movie.
• 1:27:51
  Like there was no they had they've had like two or three
• 1:27:54
  songs obviously sung by the same band.
• 1:27:56
  I think they had two songs sung by the same band, but there was
• 1:27:59
  no music. There was nothing like you were
• 1:28:02
  talking about, no ambience of any sort, just in general
• 1:28:06
  background even like they're. And who the fuck has a horror
• 1:28:10
  movie with a car montage scene and no fucking rock music?
• 1:28:19
  Where were the where was the hay?
• 1:28:21
  Where were the trees? Where were the rocks?
• 1:28:25
  Fever Lake. If if Fever Lake had to go up
• 1:28:28
  against this movie for Oscar contention, Fever Lake would win
• 1:28:32
  every single one. This favorite lake was way
• 1:28:37
  better than this movie. I was like, I'll after I
• 1:28:42
  finished it, I was like, OK, I can't wait.
• 1:28:44
  I almost messaged you. I was like, can we just go ahead
• 1:28:46
  and do this now and get this out of the way?
• 1:28:48
  I want this out of my head. I want this over and done with.
• 1:28:52
  The fact that I have to sit through listening to it again.
• 1:28:54
  That's awesome. And I'm glad I didn't have to.
• 1:28:57
  I didn't watch it twice. And I'm glad I because sometimes
• 1:28:59
  I'll watch a movie, even if it's not my lead, I'll watch the
• 1:29:02
  movie twice. I'll watch it once and then I'll
• 1:29:04
  watch it twice and get my comments.
• 1:29:06
  And I for some reason I must have been God talking to me.
• 1:29:10
  I did not. I was like, no, I'm just going
• 1:29:13
  to watch it and give my comments at the same time.
• 1:29:16
  Holy Hallelujah. Good God, I'd have been so
• 1:29:19
  pissed if I had to watch that twice.
• 1:29:23
  So June 9, Beaver Lake, all way better than this movie.
• 1:29:28
  So yeah, what are your thoughts? OK.
• 1:29:31
  So I want the passion, the passion for of the hate, unless
• 1:29:35
  you don't have it, unless you love.
• 1:29:37
  This movie. Honestly tried watching this
• 1:29:40
  movie a couple of years ago. I could not get past the eating
• 1:29:45
  of the tampon. I lost it.
• 1:29:47
  I mean, don't get me wrong, I was struggling with it.
• 1:29:50
  Yeah, but that was the the straw that broke the camel's back.
• 1:29:54
  Right. And you thought, you know what?
• 1:29:56
  This would be a great movie to do on the podcast.
• 1:30:00
  Let's ruin Talon's Life, OK? That was that was the goal.
• 1:30:08
  But I mean, I don't really have much different to say than what
• 1:30:13
  you did because the continuity was terrible.
• 1:30:16
  I mean, and I see your point as far as it possibly being a
• 1:30:19
  spoof, but it was, it was doing way too much for that to be.
• 1:30:25
  Right. To be a Thing because it was
• 1:30:27
  trying to be a gross out comedy, a horror movie, a slapstick
• 1:30:32
  comedy movie, and they were trying to roll it all into one.
• 1:30:35
  Like, I guess I can say that I appreciate what they were trying
• 1:30:40
  to do, but they failed miserably.
• 1:30:42
  Yeah. You know, there was nothing
• 1:30:44
  about it that was that was fun other than the bloopers in the
• 1:30:47
  end, right. And no, I could never watch this
• 1:30:51
  movie again. And also what you're talking
• 1:30:53
  about too. It's like far as gore and stuff
• 1:30:55
  like that, like this movie wasn't gory at all because I I
• 1:30:59
  think gory like blood and guts and shit like that.
• 1:31:02
  Well, it was sexually gory, I felt like, in that way.
• 1:31:06
  Yeah, I mean, it was, it was definitely, you know, feeling
• 1:31:10
  like it was going back to like the 70s, like exploitation, like
• 1:31:13
  the Yeah stuff. Right.
• 1:31:16
  But it it wasn't gory in the sense of like, blood and guts.
• 1:31:20
  But no, it was a lot of like, gross toilet humor using body
• 1:31:25
  functions, which to me is far grosser than, yeah, you know,
• 1:31:30
  watching blood. Yeah.
• 1:31:33
  Yeah, it's a totally different thing.
• 1:31:34
  And I don't know why that is, but, you know, I would rather
• 1:31:37
  watch like, you know, gallons of blood than, you know, watching,
• 1:31:41
  like, people shitting and eating tampons and.
• 1:31:44
  Stuff, Well, yeah, it it's like blood and guts and that kind of
• 1:31:48
  gore is different. But it was just this overly
• 1:31:51
  sexual gory thing going on. And it was just, I just felt
• 1:31:56
  gross and dirty for watching it. And I was just like, it was
• 1:32:01
  nauseating the how over the how over the top it was and how how
• 1:32:06
  much they just played into it non-stop.
• 1:32:09
  And also with the whole spoof thing, when you, when you have a
• 1:32:12
  spoof movie like say Scary movie, The spoofing is
• 1:32:16
  incredibly obvious as to what they're spoofing, whereas this
• 1:32:21
  one wasn't, which is why I feel like it wasn't a spoof movie.
• 1:32:25
  It was more of a gore comedy, gore horror porn thing like, but
• 1:32:32
  it just was, it didn't play well.
• 1:32:33
  It was, I mean, I like what, what would?
• 1:32:36
  And I think I remember actually seeing trailers for this movie
• 1:32:42
  when it was out. And I was like, did they put
• 1:32:45
  this in theater? Because when I was watching I
• 1:32:46
  was like, I feel like I know this.
• 1:32:49
  And of course I, I don't know what parts of this movie could
• 1:32:51
  have possibly put in a trailer 5 seconds of it maybe.
• 1:32:56
  But I do remember because I remember the, the motel part of
• 1:33:01
  it and, and a couple of the characters.
• 1:33:03
  And I was like, I remember these ads and I remember thinking, oh,
• 1:33:06
  this is looks like it might be a fun movie to watch.
• 1:33:08
  Because I thought it was going to be a fun horror movie, kind
• 1:33:11
  of like a little campy maybe. But no, I didn't go see it.
• 1:33:16
  And I, if they had this in theaters, I, I, I just, I can't
• 1:33:20
  imagine. Honestly I'm surprised it wasn't
• 1:33:24
  rated X for for content. Yeah, that's yeah, actually
• 1:33:28
  you're right. Well, what was it RI guess?
• 1:33:31
  Yeah, I think it was. R assuming, yeah.
• 1:33:33
  If it says MA, I'll be pissed. No, I'm I was the only to see if
• 1:33:37
  it ever went into theaters. What is the name of this movie?
• 1:33:40
  What? The night is something strange
• 1:33:42
  the. Night is something strange.
• 1:33:43
  What I'm getting is just it was a budget of $40,000.
• 1:33:47
  Shocking. Holy shit, yeah.
• 1:33:49
  And also at one point I thought, oh, are they doing some kind of
• 1:33:52
  weird version of It Follows or did you see that movie?
• 1:33:56
  Yeah. Which was like sexually
• 1:33:57
  transmitted diseases or? Oh my God, Rotten Tomatoes gives
• 1:34:01
  it a 60%. What?
• 1:34:04
  Yeah, how it was, but only in a very limited way.
• 1:34:10
  It did not get a wide theatrical release.
• 1:34:12
  Instead it had a small limited theatrical run in 2016.
• 1:34:15
  Mostly midnight screenings, genre festivals and select indie
• 1:34:19
  theaters. Some festival play on the
• 1:34:22
  underground genre circuit. It's real audience came later
• 1:34:25
  through VOD and streaming and physical media were found a cult
• 1:34:30
  following. Who?
• 1:34:32
  Why? It's TVMA.
• 1:34:36
  Oh, OK. So anyway, I give this also zero
• 1:34:42
  cents. Thank God, I was hoping we
• 1:34:45
  weren't. You weren't going to give at
• 1:34:46
  least one cent for something, for existence.
• 1:34:49
  I don't. Know.
• 1:34:50
  No. I mean, I almost did for the
• 1:34:53
  bloopers, but even they can't really save it.
• 1:34:56
  Yeah. Yeah, because even though the
• 1:34:58
  bloopers were the best part, it's still right.
• 1:35:00
  I still can't bring myself to to give it any anything more than
• 1:35:05
  0. Yeah.
• 1:35:07
  Have we given anything else a 0? I don't think so.
• 1:35:10
  We've given, we've given really low ratings, but.
• 1:35:13
  Right. I don't believe that we've ever
• 1:35:15
  done a zero and I think this is the only time that we've
• 1:35:20
  actually had like a dead on how same.
• 1:35:23
  Oh yeah. Same thing because usually it's
• 1:35:25
  like, oh, I'll do it a three, I'll do it a 3 1/2.
• 1:35:28
  Right. You know.
• 1:35:30
  Yeah, this was bad. All right.
• 1:35:33
  Do you have anything you'd like to add?
• 1:35:35
  We need to put a condom on this one.
• 1:35:37
  Yes, we're going to go that way. And that was the night of
• 1:35:47
  something Strange, a movie that somehow managed to be
• 1:35:50
  exhausting, confusing, and unpleasant all at the same time.
• 1:35:54
  If the goal was to make me sick, congratulations, mission
• 1:35:57
  accomplished. If the goal was to tell a
• 1:35:59
  coherent story or make literally any of this make sense, well,
• 1:36:03
  we've already established how that went.
• 1:36:06
  As always, thank you for listening and for sticking with
• 1:36:08
  us through whatever that was. If you watched along with us, we
• 1:36:11
  are so, so fucking sorry. If you didn't, honestly, you
• 1:36:15
  made the right call. Next month we're moving on to a
• 1:36:18
  brand new theme. Spring break, Bloody bodies
• 1:36:21
  because nothing says sun, sand and bad decisions like horror
• 1:36:25
  movies where vacations go violently sideways.
• 1:36:28
  And we're kicking that off with Piranha from 2010, which
• 1:36:31
  promises blood in the water, chaos on the lake, and most
• 1:36:35
  importantly, a much better time than whatever just happened.
• 1:36:39
  It is available on Flex. Until then, be scared, be
• 1:36:43
  prepared, and don't get caught in the dark.
• 1:36:47
  Thank God that's over.