Latest / Becoming Anchored / Becoming Anchored S2E9: How to Navigate Parenting and Body Image Concerns with Sarah Torti
Transcript
- 0:06Hey everyone.
- 0:07Welcome back to the Becoming Anchored podcast.
- 0:10We're so glad that you're here with us today.
- 0:12We're so excited.
- 0:13We've got a super fun guest.
- 0:15We're very thrilled to have her.
- 0:17We'll introduce her in just a minute, but we just wanted to, um, kind of
- 0:21bring you back along the ride with us.
- 0:24So we are a couple of therapists in the Nashville area.
- 0:27Um, we have a group private practice.
- 0:29We work with a lot of different presenting concerns, such as body image,
- 0:33eating disorders, anxiety, depression.
- 0:36Um, if you're a local to the area, we'd love to connect with you.
- 0:40Um, as you're listening to this podcast, if you realize that maybe you benefit from
- 0:44therapy, like I said, reach out to us.
- 0:46Um, if you're not local to us, reach out to someone near you who is licensed.
- 0:51Um, and just as a quick disclaimer, this is not meant to be therapy for you.
- 0:56It's really meant to just.
- 0:57Be informational and entertaining and just a conversation for you
- 1:03all to be a part of with us.
- 1:06Thanks, Lauren.
- 1:07So yeah, this is my co host, Lauren Jackson.
- 1:09My name is Laura Dineen, and we have the lovely Sarah Tortai
- 1:13on the show with us today.
- 1:15And Sarah is so dear to us and we're just so thankful for her wisdom.
- 1:20Um, and so thank you, Sarah, for being here.
- 1:22If you're new to the show, Lauren actually had the idea of starting a podcast.
- 1:26Um, a little over a year ago, and we really are just here to, we talk about
- 1:30riding the waves of life with y'all.
- 1:32And so what that means is sharing in our humanness and, um, humanity
- 1:37and vulnerability with y'all.
- 1:38Some of the kind of life lessons that we've learned and some of our lived
- 1:42experiences that we might be going through in any given season of life.
- 1:46And then we also have the amazing privilege of sitting with clients.
- 1:51on a regular basis and what a gift that is.
- 1:53And so Sarah is also a therapist and I know that she would
- 1:56fully agree with that as well.
- 1:58It's such sacred work.
- 1:59It's such, um, important work.
- 2:01And so really that's the purpose of this podcast is to share in
- 2:05our humanity and also to offer hopefully some nuggets of wisdom.
- 2:08And so Sarah, thank you so much for being here.
- 2:11We're so thrilled to have you and yeah, we're just so
- 2:15excited to learn from you today.
- 2:17Yes.
- 2:17Thank you guys so much.
- 2:19I'm just honored to share space with you guys.
- 2:22And I know we both, uh, all of us are very passionate about a lot of the same things.
- 2:27So thank you.
- 2:28Of course, of course.
- 2:30And so at the end of the show, Sarah will be sharing more about her
- 2:34practice and ways to connect with her.
- 2:36Um, but let's go ahead and get started.
- 2:55So today we're We are going to be talking about parenting and how to
- 3:00parent with the nuances of body image concerns that may arise in your children.
- 3:06And so let's just go ahead and dive right in.
- 3:09I know that this is a big topic.
- 3:11It's one I feel that needs to be addressed.
- 3:14And, um, so yeah, thank you Sarah for being here and let's
- 3:17go ahead and just dive right in.
- 3:19Thank you.
- 3:19So I know that all of us are parents.
- 3:23Sarah, I think that you are the longest, um, term parent.
- 3:28I'm trying to find the word, but you've been parenting the longest
- 3:31and then followed by Lauren and then followed by myself.
- 3:34And so, um, yeah, I would love to hear a little bit more about You as
- 3:38a person, as a parent, um, I know that I have a little, I guess she's
- 3:42almost 19 months at this point.
- 3:44Lauren has a little two and a half year old boy, and you have
- 3:46a little boy and little girl.
- 3:48Yep.
- 3:49And so, yes.
- 3:51This is just something I feel like a lot of parents in the practice, a lot
- 3:54of families that we work with, I get asked, how do I raise my children in
- 4:00this culture, in this world that we live in, in a way to almost be proactive?
- 4:05Maybe you're trying to prevent your child from developing poor
- 4:09body image or developing, God forbid, an eating disorder.
- 4:13Or maybe you are walking with your child through the throes of an eating disorder
- 4:17or perhaps disordered eating and you're wanting more support and so that's why
- 4:21you're listening to this episode today.
- 4:22So no matter where you are on your journey, we are here for it and we're here
- 4:25to share some of the things that we've learned both as parents and as teachers.
- 4:31And so Sarah, I'm like, just throwing the ball over to you.
- 4:34I'm like, yeah,
- 4:38it's such a loaded and broad topic.
- 4:41And I think, um, I think a few different things come to mind.
- 4:45I think that.
- 4:47Full disclosure, I have not successfully raised and have had my children leave
- 4:53the nest yet, but um, I think, I think it starts young in just setting an intention.
- 5:01Um, whether it's just you as a mom or ideally if you have a partner
- 5:07with your partner, what kind of culture do we want our home to have?
- 5:12You know, I think that, um,
- 5:17we have limited time where we have full control of what we
- 5:22pour into our kids before other influences start to infiltrate.
- 5:26And I think when it comes to bodies, um, having a unique family culture
- 5:34around one that values, uh, body diversity and, um, a safe place, uh,
- 5:43uh, To be loved no matter what you look like, no matter what you feel
- 5:48like, no matter what other friends say.
- 5:51Um, I think it's complicated, and I think a lot of it really
- 5:55starts beyond body image, but just the foundation of being human.
- 6:01a safe place for your kid.
- 6:03Um, I think, uh, I think about like, uh, y'all know Dan Siegel's four S's.
- 6:09Um, he talks about being, uh, seen, safe, secure, and soothed.
- 6:16And I think that even for just laying a foundation for a child's
- 6:23relationship with their body, those ingredients are so important.
- 6:28Um, for them to develop with you, but also if something does happen
- 6:34that's hard with their body, for them to be able to know you're a
- 6:37safe place to go to, to process it.
- 6:40Um, yeah, there's, there's so much more I could say.
- 6:44Yeah.
- 6:45Yeah.
- 6:46I mean, and I'm with you and gosh, it just begs the question of like, Yeah.
- 6:51How more specifically, I love what you shared that word intention just
- 6:56feels so fundamental when we're talking about this foundation, right?
- 7:01Along with kind of this idea of like prepping your, your kids that even if
- 7:06there is something hard that happens and it's not if, right, it's when
- 7:10something hard that happens with their bodies or maybe they overhear another
- 7:14child on the playground speaking poorly about their bodies and how
- 7:17does, how do they respond to that?
- 7:19Right.
- 7:19And being able to come.
- 7:21Home and dissect that and process that with you that does require
- 7:26such safety And it's like even us it begs the question of like, okay,
- 7:31how do we cultivate that at home?
- 7:34What does that tangibly?
- 7:36Look like for our listeners.
- 7:37I think as therapists, I don't know about y'all But sometimes I can be
- 7:40like, oh, yeah Like we're creating safety and clients will ask me like
- 7:43what that actually means and what that actually looks like which is an
- 7:46important follow up question Yeah.
- 7:51Yeah.
- 7:52And Sarah, I, I like the point that you make around what if it's like,
- 7:57what if there's something that has to happen before, before body image, right?
- 8:03Because we are, we are, we have a body.
- 8:07Um, and we are bodies, but like the, there's a lot more to us.
- 8:15Than that, and I think that that's such a foundational part in our relationship
- 8:20with our kids and that kind of foundation we're setting, the culture of our
- 8:24family, the values of our family, um, and then yeah, Laura, to your point,
- 8:29safety can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people,
- 8:32and so you're kind of developing what that means in your family culture.
- 8:36And helping your children kind of grow in that or, you know, help you
- 8:44discover what that is for your family.
- 8:46Right.
- 8:46So, um, um, yeah, I think before we can instill or help develop in our kids
- 8:55what healthy body image is, I think we have to have, a relation, like a, a
- 9:00good, safe relationship with them first.
- 9:03I think that's like, so yeah, important.
- 9:06Um, um, yeah.
- 9:09Yeah.
- 9:10Lauren's talking about that, like that attachment, right.
- 9:13That we do so much work around in the therapy.
- 9:16um, space that's just so pivotal and so important.
- 9:19Yeah, I mean, I think one of the things that I encourage parents that I'm working
- 9:23with or families or one of the grief components that I'm doing with maybe older
- 9:29clients as a clinician is really talking through even their own relationship with
- 9:35their body, like my relationship with my body before I'm even talking about Mary
- 9:41Ann's relationship with her body, right?
- 9:43So that's my daughter.
- 9:43And of course, we want her to have a healthy body image, but I think it, it
- 9:48really starts like when I'm thinking about even that question, Sarah, like
- 9:50what makes this environment safe?
- 9:54It's first and foremost, like looking at as parents, this is my challenge to you.
- 9:59What your own relationship is like with body, with self, capital S, right?
- 10:05And then.
- 10:06I think this goes along with like your relationship with food too because
- 10:09we need food and hydration and all the things to nourish ourselves.
- 10:13But yeah, I mean, that's really the first kind of tangible tool because I
- 10:17certainly want our listeners today to have practical takeaways from today's session.
- 10:21And so that's really the first fundamental piece that goes into
- 10:24creating safety in the home.
- 10:25I think at least is challenging parents to do their own work around how they're
- 10:30speaking about their own bodies.
- 10:31And with that also comes how they're speaking about other
- 10:34people's bodies because like.
- 10:36Kids are such sponges.
- 10:37Like I can tell Marianne is just watching everything I do.
- 10:40Like she wants to wear my headbands.
- 10:42Lauren, I know you'll appreciate this because you're wearing a headband today
- 10:45and you're a headband guru, but she loves, she loves when I wear headbands
- 10:49and she's like trying to put it on her little baby head and it's so cute.
- 10:52Um, but yeah, I mean, she's watching everything I'm doing
- 10:56at 19 months old, which is wild.
- 10:58And so I know that y'all have some thoughts on what I'm sharing, but that
- 11:02feels just so important is like, Hey.
- 11:04We've got to work on our own body image as parents first before we can even ask
- 11:07our children to have healthy body image.
- 11:10Totally.
- 11:11Yeah.
- 11:12Yeah.
- 11:13Yeah, I'm thinking about
- 11:17even as a parent to a toddler how sometimes I'll catch myself In language
- 11:27I'm using to describe my son like with other people or when he's around because
- 11:32you know when they're taller they're growing so fast and they're changing
- 11:35so quickly and I swear he's been going through this growth spurt and he just
- 11:40looks I feel like every week he looks like a different little person in the face and
- 11:44it's like I'll stop growing up but I'll like find myself being like You Oh my
- 11:49gosh, he's getting so big or, you know, just the language that I'm using that I'm,
- 11:55I find myself kind of wanting to pause and be like, is that, is that helpful?
- 12:01Like is that, is that actually helpful language to use?
- 12:06Is there something different that I could say that could also place
- 12:10value on how he's growing and he's learning and he's developing in a
- 12:16way that will keep body neutral.
- 12:19Um, because Laura, like you said, they literally soak up every single
- 12:24little thing, everything it's wild.
- 12:26It's so wild.
- 12:27So, and I'm speaking to from being a boy mom.
- 12:31And I think a lot of the times maybe in our culture and with body image
- 12:34and whatever, we think that, Oh, only girls struggle with body image
- 12:37or only females, or you only have to worry about that with daughters.
- 12:41And, um, You know, just with the work that we do, we know that that's just not true.
- 12:45We, we, we know that body image, negative body image, eating disorders,
- 12:49disordered eating, mental health, whatever, it doesn't discriminate.
- 12:52And so being, being mindful of that, even with my two and a half
- 12:55year old son, just feels really significant and important to me.
- 13:00And so, um, and so even like just typical language we use around, you know,
- 13:08talking about like a toddler's body.
- 13:10I just, I, I find and.
- 13:12You know, I find that I pause when I use some of that language and want to
- 13:16be mindful of he's hearing this His ears are hearing this Yeah, so Yeah, gosh,
- 13:27I think it's so it's so tricky right because I think we're In developing,
- 13:33like, your own family's culture for how we view certain language that at
- 13:39school or out in the world, they might have a different experience, right?
- 13:42And, um, I know in our home, one thing we have really tried to do
- 13:49is, normalize words like big, fat, larger body as just normal parts of
- 13:56the beautiful world that we live in.
- 13:59Um, and so I think like representation does matter in what, what is happening
- 14:08in your social circles, the kind of books that you read, how you
- 14:12talk about bodies and how, um, Um, there's not just like exposure, but
- 14:19appreciation, right, for the differences, for, for the complexities of it.
- 14:24And yet your kid might still be getting a different message outside.
- 14:31And so how do we, how do we bridge that, um, gap to have some of
- 14:35those conversations, obviously in like age appropriate ways.
- 14:39over the course of time.
- 14:41Um, we were, we were driving in the car the other day and my six,
- 14:46almost seven year old boy, there, there was a turkey on the road and
- 14:49he was like out with his feathers.
- 14:51And he was like, look at that fat turkey.
- 14:54And like, just like celebrating the wonder of it.
- 14:58And, uh, you know, I think that that, that shift hasn't happened yet.
- 15:05Right.
- 15:05And, um, y'all know just living in this world with such, um, fat
- 15:11phobia and negative attitudes about different shapes and sizes.
- 15:18Like it's only a matter of time before they start to pick up on things.
- 15:22Um, I, I think another thing too that, uh, feels important with
- 15:30body image is just, As a mom, as a therapist, like widening the lens
- 15:38in that it's also about embodiment.
- 15:41Like embodiment knows no size limit and helping your child experience the wonder
- 15:49of their body through their senses.
- 15:51And nurturing and growing an appreciation for Not just the functionality of
- 15:58their body, but just the beauty of feeling the sun on their face.
- 16:03And, um, I think even those little things start to really
- 16:11build, wow, this is so cool.
- 16:14So cool to be in a body.
- 16:16Um, and I think there's a million ways you can do that.
- 16:20Right.
- 16:21But I think it's like how you model, uh, yeah.
- 16:25moving and being in a body in a way that's, uh, alive and fun.
- 16:32And, uh, like with what you're talking about, Laura, that requires,
- 16:38um, doing some deeper work, right?
- 16:42We all have a story.
- 16:43That we carry about, um, our bodies and what embodiment's a lot about
- 16:48like what you were allowed to be to, you know, and so, um, yeah,
- 16:55it's just complicated, right?
- 16:57Yeah.
- 16:58Yeah.
- 16:59Yeah.
- 16:59And I love what you talked about using this word embodiment.
- 17:02And of course, this can mean so many different things to
- 17:06so many different people.
- 17:07But it really, it is countercultural in the sense that.
- 17:11of We Are Taught, and I think I actually learned this from you, Sarah, but
- 17:15we're taught to self abandon, right?
- 17:18Which is essentially like if I'm here, if you're watching this on YouTube, right?
- 17:21Like I'm making a circle with my hands and I kind of walk away from myself.
- 17:25And that can mean so many different things, whether it's using disordered
- 17:29eating behaviors or eating disorder behaviors, or Um, not grabbing a sip of
- 17:34water if I'm thirsty or not going to the restroom if I need to go to the bathroom.
- 17:37It's, so there's lots of different ways that we are taught and I would
- 17:41say even encouraged to self abandon and the beautiful part of embodiment is
- 17:48really like coming home to ourselves.
- 17:50And so back to this like circle of my hands, right?
- 17:52It's like I walked back home to myself and And of course, this is an analogy
- 17:57that I'm using, but it's really looking at how do I walk back home to myself?
- 18:02Am I worthy of getting my needs met?
- 18:05And that is, of course, all of the body image work as well.
- 18:08It's not just like what I see in the mirror.
- 18:10And so it's that deeper kind of component that you're referencing, Sarah.
- 18:14Yeah.
- 18:16So good.
- 18:17And I think that takes like a lot of practice, right?
- 18:20Like a lot of mindfulness skills, a lot of awareness.
- 18:23There's, uh, Cynthia Bulick at, she's at a UNC.
- 18:28She's done a lot of work with eating disorders, written books.
- 18:31She wrote a book many moons ago, I think it's called Woman in the Mirror, and she
- 18:36has an activity in there, um, where she has you like map out your house, like
- 18:44each room of your house, and explore some of, the body narrative in each room.
- 18:52And I think about that, I think about that as a mom, as a therapist, just, not just
- 18:57whether it be around the mirror or food, but like, what do I notice in my body?
- 19:03In each space in my house that I go, what am I creating for my child?
- 19:08In this place, right?
- 19:10I think it's like, not to like put pressure on everyone to like, Light
- 19:15some incense in the, in your room or whatever, but I think there's, there's
- 19:19a lot of, there's a lot of layer and a lot of space for play and permission
- 19:27to, if, if this, these are things you're not thinking about it to start now.
- 19:33Like there's small ways to start.
- 19:35Looking at it through a wider lens.
- 19:37Um, yeah, Lauren actually uses that, that kind of framework for
- 19:45a lot of the work that she does.
- 19:47She quite frequently talks about opening perspective.
- 19:49And I've actually snagged that from you are not used it the
- 19:52other day with the client.
- 19:53I thought of you.
- 19:54I'm going to tell you that I'm like, let's open perspective.
- 19:57And I'm like, yeah.
- 19:57Yeah.
- 20:02Yeah.
- 20:02But it's really that idea of like the flexibility in thought processes
- 20:07and just even our worldview and opening up some of that perspective
- 20:12versus like this diet culture and fat phobia and need to kind of always be
- 20:16changing something about our bodies.
- 20:18Those are all the messages that we get on a really on a daily basis.
- 20:22And so.
- 20:23Yeah.
- 20:23with that comes like starting to be aware of.
- 20:26I think that's one piece that I'm encouraging parents to, to work on as
- 20:29well as like just starting to be aware of how many things you're interacting
- 20:32with on a daily basis, whether that's your social media feed or like you're
- 20:36in the line at the grocery store.
- 20:37I bring this example a lot.
- 20:39I have like a lot of feelings about it, but it's like you're
- 20:41seeing the magazines and they're advertising some of you fad diet or.
- 20:46However many kind of interactions, I think just starting to raise awareness
- 20:49for your own self as a parent and how your child might be experiencing
- 20:53different forms of diet culture and how that might be connected to body
- 20:57image concerns or that kind of thing just can be something to totally now.
- 21:01And that starts so young, like, I think, like, even with food,
- 21:05maybe even more than bodies, right?
- 21:07Which it all kind of is woven together.
- 21:09But, uh, You know, like how people talk about good food, bad food, and
- 21:15messages that kids get, like, Are they allowed to have this lollipop?
- 21:20Well, yeah, we, we, we eat a lot of sugar in our house, like, you know.
- 21:25Yeah, you know, I think, uh, Yeah, it's, it's, Helping people develop
- 21:34more critical thinking, right?
- 21:35About their exposure of certain inputs.
- 21:40And, uh, I think that's necessary in order to really build that family
- 21:47culture, family philosophy on doing things a little bit differently.
- 21:51Yeah.
- 21:52Yeah.
- 21:54I think something that is pretty cool about, and hopefully this feels
- 22:00encouraging to people You know, people who are listening because it feels
- 22:03encouraging to me, um, about being, you know, a parent to anybody, but
- 22:11like, especially young ones is the opportunity that we do have to help
- 22:20to really encourage them to our little ones to stay connected with, you know,
- 22:25themselves or to stay or to not, Laura, like you said earlier, self abandoned,
- 22:30because I, I, I think, or I wonder, and I wonder what you guys think about this
- 22:35too, is, you know, The more that we are disconnected from ourselves or abandoned
- 22:41from selves, probably the less positive or compassionate our body image is.
- 22:50We probably don't have the greatest view, you know, emotionally, physically,
- 22:58whatever of our bodies than when we are like fully connected, fully
- 23:03embodied, fully aware of what's going on and what our needs are.
- 23:07And so I think it's cool that as, that we can really part of that kind of family
- 23:12culture, the way we use our language and the way we talk about our bodies
- 23:16and then how we help our kids talk about their bodies, is we can really
- 23:19foster this like, hey, like, let's say, Stay connected to our, to ourselves.
- 23:24You can, you can have needs, you can cry.
- 23:27I hear you.
- 23:28You can, you can be upset.
- 23:30You can need to go to the bathroom right now.
- 23:31And I'm going to take you to the bathroom right now.
- 23:33Right.
- 23:33It's like, just like little things like that, but it's like these little moments
- 23:36really are instilling this sense of like trust with, Oh, I can trust myself when
- 23:41I need to do this thing or when I feel this way and I can get that need met.
- 23:45Um, which I think then down the line does, does foster a more positive
- 23:54image, if you will, of body.
- 23:56Um, so I think that's cool, right?
- 23:59That like, even if we didn't necessarily get that growing up, or if that wasn't
- 24:03part of our family culture growing up, that that's something that we really do
- 24:07get the opportunity to Um, help our kids learn and grow it because, you know,
- 24:16I mean, when we're born, we're we're, I think we're born pretty embodied.
- 24:20Like, I think that's kind of naturally coming to the world,
- 24:22just like crying and I need this.
- 24:25And this is how I feel.
- 24:26And so just this is, I just think it's really cool that like we
- 24:30can continue that, like we can continue, like, really helping them.
- 24:36Like grow that muscle and, and, and stay really connected with themselves.
- 24:40And that just feels super encouraging to me.
- 24:44Um, Yeah.
- 24:45We talk a lot about like hope on the, on the podcast.
- 24:48Right.
- 24:48And it's just like encouragement, hope those are.
- 24:51Interchangeable in some ways, right?
- 24:52And yeah, I love I love what you're sharing, Warren.
- 24:56And I do agree with this being born embodied, you know, just to speak to that.
- 25:02The other day we went to dinner with Marianne and then we went to
- 25:05Jenny's ice cream afterwards and she pushed it away when she was finished.
- 25:10Sorry, I've got something in my throat.
- 25:12And Sean remarked, he was like, Oh my gosh, she is such an intuitive eater.
- 25:16And it's so funny, like, you know, it's just, and we love Jenny's ice cream,
- 25:20but just to see her have that experience of like having had enough and full
- 25:26permission, we got like quesadillas and guac for dinner I think at Mojo's and
- 25:30then we went to Jenny's afterwards, but full permission to like eat to her heart's
- 25:34content and then push it away when she's finished and so I do agree with you that
- 25:38we are born embodied and then Somehow along the way we, you know, we get lost
- 25:44and there's a lot of grief and of course pain and suffering that comes with that.
- 25:49But I love this piece of encouragement and I would add to that hope that
- 25:53you're offering our listeners today.
- 25:56Yeah.
- 25:57Yeah.
- 25:58Yeah.
- 25:59That's important, right?
- 26:00Like,
- 26:03just all of our capacity to continue to learn and grow and change as we're
- 26:08growing ourselves, supporting our kids, and I think even being a student of our
- 26:13kids and really studying their unique expressions of themselves, right?
- 26:22Like I have a little one that has some sensory challenges.
- 26:25And so some of that embodiment piece is a little, there's some,
- 26:30there's some deficits there that we're trying to support him with.
- 26:33But like, again, being that space that I think as a parent always just
- 26:40Being willing to stay curious and, um,
- 26:46whether it be with stuff going on in their bodies, stuff that's happening that
- 26:50you see impacting them, kind of going back to the attachment stuff, right?
- 26:55Like the withness and, um, safety is,
- 27:04is hopeful and we're going to mess up.
- 27:07And then there's repair, right?
- 27:09Like, I think that, I think that's a big part of safety too, is When we do
- 27:16mess up as we do, as we will, uh, that they also know that, that there's still
- 27:23repair there and that connection isn't lost and, um, they don't have to be a
- 27:29certain way in order to, to be secure.
- 27:33In our love and, um, connection.
- 27:38Yeah.
- 27:39Ash, yes.
- 27:41And I know Lauren does such a beautiful job of this too, um, just with her
- 27:45clients, you know, and, and one thing that she'll do is like, Hey, we
- 27:48have safety right here in this room.
- 27:50And I understand that you may not have experienced.
- 27:53safety outside of here, or maybe have had not as many experiences
- 27:57as we would like you to have had.
- 27:59And we're going to start here.
- 28:00And I think that's such a beautiful kind of picture about to hold just
- 28:03even in our parenting journeys as well, like, and, and repair.
- 28:08And as a recovering perfectionist, I'm like, I don't want to mess up,
- 28:11but I also know that messing up like logically, I know that messing up.
- 28:17As a parent already has happened and will happen again.
- 28:21And so I love this kind of piece of hope that you're
- 28:25offering our listeners as well.
- 28:26And yeah, I think, I think this worthiness and lovability and enoughness
- 28:33in the context of body image is really important too, because I know
- 28:37that all three of us have had, and currently have clients that have felt
- 28:43that they are not worthy of love.
- 28:46Unfortunately, from their primary caregivers because of the way they
- 28:49look and like how horrific is that?
- 28:52And, um, so that I think is just really an important message that you're
- 28:56talking about today, Sarah, is like, Hey, no matter what you look like
- 29:00and no matter what your body shape or size is, you are loved and you are
- 29:04enough and you are worthy of love.
- 29:06And there's a lot of grief if you maybe are a parent and you didn't have
- 29:11that, like Warren was talking about in your family of origin to begin with.
- 29:19Yeah, a lot of sadness.
- 29:20And, and there's also an opportunity to, to always course correct.
- 29:25Right?
- 29:25So if you're someone listening and you have, you know, you know,
- 29:28said these things to your kids that are maybe hurtful or harmful.
- 29:31We can always, like Sarah's talked about, we can always course correct.
- 29:34And there's so much encouragement in that as well.
- 29:37And so the purpose of this podcast is certainly not to shame you or to, um,
- 29:43you know, ridicule or any of that.
- 29:44It's more to offer a different perspective.
- 29:46Like we've talked about.
- 29:49Yeah.
- 29:51Thank you, Sarah, for your time today.
- 29:53It has just been a joy talking to you.
- 29:55And I know that We could have like you back for part two on parenting
- 29:59with body image and all the different Ways that that is important.
- 30:05There's so much.
- 30:07Yeah.
- 30:08Yeah.
- 30:09So thank you for being here.
- 30:10I'm curious before we wrap with homework and an affirmation, how can
- 30:14our listeners find you anything that you want to highlight or anything
- 30:18that you want to share about yourself?
- 30:20Yeah.
- 30:20Um, so.
- 30:22I have a website, SarahTortai.
- 30:25com.
- 30:26Um, and then you can find me on, on Instagram.
- 30:29That's kind of a newer endeavor at Sarah Tortai Counseling.
- 30:33Um, my practice is in Franklin.
- 30:36So a little South of you guys.
- 30:38Um, yeah.
- 30:41Amazing.
- 30:42Y'all Sarah is just the cream of the crop and she is so wise and
- 30:50she Has been such a gift to me.
- 30:52I know to Lauren, we're just, I cannot speak highly enough of
- 30:57Sarah and the work that she does.
- 30:59And, um, I am just forever grateful for you, Sarah.
- 31:03And so I'm so glad that you've been on the show today.
- 31:05And, um, we'll, we'll certainly have you back.
- 31:08Um, and so so much.
- 31:10I'd love that.
- 31:11Thank you guys.
- 31:13Yeah.
- 31:13So Sarah, I think is actually going to close with homework.
- 31:15And then.
- 31:16Lauren is going to close with our affirmation.
- 31:18So Sarah, what homework do you have for our listeners?
- 31:20Yeah.
- 31:24I would, I would encourage if a lot of this stuff is resonating with you, or
- 31:28if you're trying to be more intentional about, um, implementing some of these
- 31:34things to, to sit down and write out just.
- 31:39core values, core, uh, descriptions of what your family culture, your philosophy
- 31:48on how we view bodies in our family.
- 31:52Um, whether it be accepting, nurturing, self compassionate, whatever comes
- 31:59up, but just, I think there's power in like putting words to paper with it.
- 32:05I love that so much.
- 32:06I'm like, I'm going to do that tonight.
- 32:09Like with Sean, I'm like, hey honey, we have some homework from Sarah.
- 32:15And I think it's, it's allowed to evolve, right?
- 32:17Like as your kids needs change or new things come up, I think, um, it's
- 32:24allowed to change and grow with you.
- 32:30Lauren, what's our, what's our affirmation to hold on to today?
- 32:32Oh, gosh.
- 32:34You know, Laura, you, what you were saying earlier, I felt like
- 32:38was a beautiful affirmation.
- 32:39Just how we're all, no matter what we look like, we're all worthy of
- 32:44love and safety and connection.
- 32:46And so I, I want to just repeat that to everybody listening, whoever is
- 32:51listening, no matter what you look like or your shape or your size or your
- 32:56color or whatever, you are so deeply worthy of love and safety, right?
- 33:02Safety's been a big thing in our conversation.
- 33:04Um, and you are capable of creating that environment for
- 33:11your family and for your kids.
- 33:13Um, so I'm going to leave that with you guys.
- 33:16Yeah, what a sweet time today.
- 33:17Thank you Sarah for being here.
- 33:19Thank you guys Thank you for being on the show.
- 33:23And yeah, we will see you next time for the Becoming Anchor podcast.
- 33:26Y'all take care.
- 33:28Bye