Latest / STOPTIME: Live in the Moment. / Finding Light When the Holidays Feel Heavy

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Finding Light When the Holidays Feel Heavy · STOPTIME: Live in the Moment.

• 0:23
  Lisa Hopkins: Hey there.
• 0:24
  Lisa Hopkins: As joyful as the holiday season always presumes to be, the limiting beliefs of how things are supposed to be are so ingrained in us that we practically set ourselves up for failure before we even begin.
• 0:39
  Lisa Hopkins: I don't know about you, but I know that sometimes we place such high expectations on ourselves and others this time of year that if we aren't feeling festive on cue for whatever reason, we feel cheated, as if we're missing out on the joy that everybody else seems to be engaging in.
• 0:57
  Lisa Hopkins: It's pretty much a sink-or-swim, win-or-lose affair, complete with regrets of things you wished you had or hadn't said, a countdown to the inevitable holiday hangover.
• 1:08
  Lisa Hopkins: Welcome back to the podcast, guys.
• 1:11
  Lisa Hopkins: I'm going to share with you today a chapter 58 from my book called Holiday Hangovers.
• 1:18
  Lisa Hopkins: Again, this is an excerpt from the places where there are spaces, cultivating a life of creative possibilities.
• 1:24
  Lisa Hopkins: And it just seemed like an apt reading for today.
• 1:29
  Lisa Hopkins: I don't know about you, but there's a lot of stress associated with this time of year.
• 1:34
  Lisa Hopkins: And well, with your permission, I'm going to go ahead and read this little excerpt from my book.
• 1:39
  Lisa Hopkins: It was nearing the holiday season, and after a perfectly lovely hike in the snow, I was inexplicably overcome by the kind of feeling that can be best described as malaise.
• 1:52
  Lisa Hopkins: I just love it when a word perfectly fits the feeling.
• 1:57
  Lisa Hopkins: The fact that it's a French word and that I was in La Belle Province makes it even more of a bon mot.
• 2:03
  Lisa Hopkins: The Oxford Dictionary defines malaise as a general feeling of discomfort, illness, or uneasiness whose exact cause is difficult to identify.
• 2:16
  Lisa Hopkins: And it arrived unannounced and without notice or provocation, and instead of just noticing it was there, and contrary to everything I know as a coach, I acted upon it.
• 2:28
  Lisa Hopkins: I lashed out at my husband.
• 2:30
  Lisa Hopkins: I was negative, confrontational, and just plain ugly, which, as defined by the Oxford English Dictionary, means unpleasant or repulsive, especially in appearance.
• 2:42
  Lisa Hopkins: It's an apt description of my behavior that day.
• 2:47
  Lisa Hopkins: So my husband has no problem not thinking about holiday preparations until the last minute, whereas I find myself trying to perfect everything ahead of time.
• 2:57
  Lisa Hopkins: Maybe it's my theater background.
• 3:00
  Lisa Hopkins: I just love staging and take pride in creating spaces for others to experience, to host, produce, and direct.
• 3:08
  Lisa Hopkins: Our different approaches to holiday preparation have the potential to create tension between us when I'm in the mood and he is not.
• 3:17
  Lisa Hopkins: Like when he's busy with non-festive activities, and I would rather him help me string the lights outside.
• 3:24
  Lisa Hopkins: And look, to be honest, the irony is it's not actually his help I'm after.
• 3:30
  Lisa Hopkins: I'm perfectly capable of doing it myself.
• 3:33
  Lisa Hopkins: It's my expectations of what decking the halls is supposed to look like, all wrapped up and delivered courtesy of the media.
• 3:42
  Lisa Hopkins: Making things worse, when I'm stressed, I'm not tapped into knowing what I truly want or need, let alone communicating it to others.
• 3:52
  Lisa Hopkins: I sometimes fall into the trap of disguising my expectations by hinting and dropping clues, testing my loved ones and setting them up for failure.
• 4:04
  Lisa Hopkins: And all to the tune of it's the most wonderful time of the year.
• 4:09
  Lisa Hopkins: As each calendar year comes to an end, it's easy to become hijacked by the fear of time running out.
• 4:17
  Lisa Hopkins: In our quest to show up joyfully with all the fixings, holidays can become hotboxes for expectations, exhaustion, and overwhelm.
• 4:28
  Lisa Hopkins: Our inner critics and self-sapoteurs crank up the volume in our heads like a song on repeat, replaying all the things we said we would do, reminding us of what we haven't done.
• 4:42
  Lisa Hopkins: All those expectations you hold for yourself, for the season, and for those you love are normal.
• 4:50
  Lisa Hopkins: But just because they're normal does not mean they are required.
• 4:56
  Lisa Hopkins: Remember that snowy day when I was wrapped up in my malaise and I lashed out at my husband because he wasn't helping me decorate?
• 5:05
  Lisa Hopkins: Well, when I took a moment to stop and breathe, my malaise began to transform into its antithesis.
• 5:14
  Lisa Hopkins: Do you know what the opposite of malaise is?
• 5:17
  Lisa Hopkins: Comfort and well-being.
• 5:20
  Lisa Hopkins: When I allowed myself enough space simply to stop for a moment and breathe, it transported me back to the present to reconnect with gratitude for what truly is.
• 5:36
  Lisa Hopkins: All my expectations fell away because I realized that I had already had everything I needed in that moment.
• 5:45
  Lisa Hopkins: I realized how incredibly grateful I was for my husband, and to be able to celebrate with loved ones.
• 5:52
  Lisa Hopkins: I also came to appreciate that if I didn't string another row of lights or hang another wreath, I'm already enough.
• 6:00
  Lisa Hopkins: I have everything I need for a joyous holiday season.
• 6:05
  Lisa Hopkins: The only light needed is the light that shines inside of me.
• 6:10
  Lisa Hopkins: And I wanted to remind you the same.
• 6:13
  Lisa Hopkins: To give yourself the gift of living in the moment and allow yourself access to connecting to all the joy that you have inside you already.
• 6:24
  Lisa Hopkins: And when those expectations threaten to take you down, remember that you are enough.
• 6:33
  Lisa Hopkins: So that was an excerpt from one of my brief chapters from the book, and each chapter is its own little morsel of mindfulness.
• 6:45
  Lisa Hopkins: And at the end of each chapter is a prompt.
• 6:47
  Lisa Hopkins: And the prompt that I'd like you to consider for this reading is this Make a list of all the reasons why you are grateful for yourself.
• 7:01
  Lisa Hopkins: Again, make a list of all the reasons why you are grateful in this moment for yourself.
• 7:12
  Lisa Hopkins: My friends, that's where the bright light of joy begins today and all season long from within you.
• 7:24
  Lisa Hopkins: Thank you so much for spending time with me today as I shared an excerpt from the places where there are spaces.
• 7:30
  Lisa Hopkins: My hope is that it brought you a little moment of reflection and inspiration.
• 7:34
  Lisa Hopkins: This holiday season, why not gift yourself or someone you love the opportunity to pause, reflect, and savor life's unplanned moments?
• 7:43
  Lisa Hopkins: It's the perfect way to share the gift of mindfulness and creative possibilities.
• 7:48
  Lisa Hopkins: You can find the link to the book in the show notes, or pick up a copy anywhere you buy books online.
• 7:54
  Lisa Hopkins: I'm Lisa Hopkins.
• 7:56
  Lisa Hopkins: Thanks so much for listening.
• 7:57
  Lisa Hopkins: Stay safe and healthy, everyone, and remember to live in the moment.