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How Do I Stop Worrying About My Grown Kids? Trusting God Through Anxiety · Still Well Podcast

• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, my friend, and welcome back to another episode of Stillwell Podcast.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: I am Brooke Stillwell, your host, and I'm so glad you're here.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: If you happen to be watching me on YouTube, you will see that the background has changed.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's a little different.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: Summer is over-ish, I guess.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: I hate to say that.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: Right now I'm recording it.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: It has not been Labor Day yet.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: So we still have some summer.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: And actually, summer in New England is actually beautiful.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: September is the most beautiful month.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm trying to remember that and hold on to that and hold on to a little more summer.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: But for most of us, things are winding down.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: We're getting back into a maybe a little bit of a tighter schedule or more of a schedule.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm definitely feeling that.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: The kids, if you have kids going back to college or leaving home, they're probably out now.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe your house is feeling a little more quiet.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot going on.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: This is a big, can be a big time of transition.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: And we addressed that a little bit two episodes ago that, you know, this time of year, just with the change of seasons alone, can be a transition.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: And then on top of that, it just changes, right?
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: Back to school.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought I was going to do something else today.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: I had in mind, and that topic is going to come up down the road, but I just had something come up for me just yesterday.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I wanted to unpack it with you all a little bit because I am guessing, once again, that if I'm thinking through this stuff and struggling with some of these things, then probably at least some of you are too.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so I just wonder, I guess I'll start off by asking you all this question.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: Do any of you lay in bed at night with your mind racing and wondering?
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: That's a loaded question.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm guessing a lot of you do.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: For me, I don't have a lot of trouble falling asleep.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Some of you will probably say the trouble for you is falling asleep that you lay there and your mind races.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: But me, I usually fall asleep.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm actually much better because I've been doing so much work on my sleep.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: But I still from time to time, especially if I'm stressed out, will fall asleep, but then wake up through the night with just random thoughts and worries and struggle going through my mind.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I wonder if you can relate.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because I'm guessing for you as a mom and as a woman in general, are probably probably do the same thing.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: And so I found myself, I have been doing really well recently with sleep.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Again, because I've been working on it so much.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: But let's see, two nights ago.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so today is Wednesday.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: So Monday, my gosh, I had not a good night's sleep.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: I woke up Tuesday with a headache.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: I just tossed and turned.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: I almost felt like I was wrestling with God a little bit, which sounds probably so weird, but I felt like I was like, it just was it just I had all of these fears and concerns on my mind.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: I was in and out of sleep, and I was like partially like trying to calm my own mind and also crying out to God.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: I do that sometime because if I'm waking up and having trouble sleeping and I know like there's some fearful thoughts or things that I'm thinking on, I'll just in my mind pray and try to give it to God, even in the midst of all that.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, but what what came up for me, and I'll just share why I was up worrying, is because yesterday night, I dropped my oldest son off at the airport who was traveling overseas to be abroad until December 19th.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: And actually, you guys, I didn't even know it was till December 19th.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: You can believe it, till we were on our way to the airport.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: I knew he was there till December, but I thought it was earlier.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: And even though it's a couple more weeks longer, it just the 19th, that's feels like a lot more for some reason.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: But at any rate, I dropped him off to go abroad and he won't be back home.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: He won't be back in the States for what?
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: Three months, four months, October, November, December, three months.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I know three months is nothing and it'll fly by, but for my own mother's heart, it's it's the longest time that he has been away from us.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: And this is the farthest away that he'll be.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I can only, my heart goes out to anyone listening again who has children that are in the service or have lost children because you're dealing with this on a regular basis, and probably this conversation sounds a little bit silly.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: But also, as moms, we have these feelings and we struggle with these things.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm laying in bed the night before he was leaving, and just every single bad thing that could possibly happen when he was there, I'm pretty sure I thought about literally everything.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't want to name the things I was thinking about because I don't like to speak that out loud or speak it over him.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: Our words are very important, but the thoughts, and sometimes it can feel like we our thoughts just get away from us and we can't control them, doesn't it?
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: That that's like the heart of this conversation is what do we do with this worry and this fear and the thoughts?
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: At night, I feel like at night it's a little trickier.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like for me, there's nothing worse than being in a sound sleep and then waking up with like either from a nightmare or just a thought that wakes you up.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: You're not even sure why you wake up, but then the thoughts just start and you just can't, you can't get comfortable.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe your heart's racing a little bit.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: That is such a tough thing.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, those things can carry on through the day as well.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's not easy during the day either.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: But at night, for me at least, it's particularly tricky.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I have shared with you all in the past that I do deal with some anxiety and even OCD, more on like the obsessive thought side.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: So getting my thoughts under control is a constant practice for me, um, and a constant like just leaning in on God and faith and courage.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: But I think regardless of whether you deal with any type of like anxiety or OCD type stuff or intrusive thoughts, to some extent, we all have fearful thoughts, right?
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: About whatever, as moms, especially our kids, as they get older, just because we, again, so much of the control that we had of them, we don't have anymore.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: We're kind of watching them quietly and cheering them on, but they're not under our thumb as much, and we can't ensure their safety like we used to.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I hope this conversation is not getting redundant because I know I've been talking about this a lot, and I hesitated to even talk with you all about this again today.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: But it's just, it's so much on my mind.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I, and even though it's a a little bit about, you know, my son leaving again, because I already dropped the middle one off at college, this the oldest one is out now too.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: Even though it's that conversation, it's a different conversation.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: Because what I really want to unpack with you and what I want to talk about is what do we do with the fears and the worries?
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: Because if our overarching conversation within the Stillwell podcast and the Stillwell mom community is to live a flourishing, fruitful, productive next phase of life and live out our calling for God in a really healthy and great way, fear can really get in the way of that and worry can get in the way of that, and and our thought life can get in the way of that.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I really truly believe that very often what takes us, what derails us from from just living more joyfully, even what derails us is distraction, right?
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: Distractions can take us away from seeing all the great things in our life and all the things that we have to be grateful for and all the blessings that we have, and also the things that God is wanting to do in us.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I also really believe that if God is calling you to something, if he has something in store for you and where he is asking you to walk into the next thing, uh, and you have a heart for that and you are mindful of wanting to live your life for him, sometimes those distractions from the enemy become even bigger and those worries and fears become even bigger to create more distraction.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: And so I want you to be mindful of that.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I try to be really mindful of that too, because for sure, what can get me down more than anything is things that I fabricate in my own head.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what I would really like to know is why I'm sure you have this issue too.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: Why do we go to worst case scenario?
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: I tend to be now an Enneagram six, so I'm think that way anyway.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: But I think a lot of us do that when it comes to our kids.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, me and a couple of the moms whose kids are all abroad together have a group text.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: And even that next morning, which was yesterday, when I woke up and I was, I was, you know, a little bit, I was actually feeling better, and I'll share with you why.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: But one of them sent over a screenshot of like insurance that we need to get for the trip and just checking to see if we had all got it, and it had listened.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: She said, Did you see the list of all this insurance covers?
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: And literally every single thing that had been on my mind the night before, every single worst case scenario was on that list.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, so just all that to say, I'm not the only one, I don't, I don't think, when it comes to our kids, we just worry because we love them so much and we want the best for them, right?
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: We want to just keep them safe and protected from all things.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: And so, you know, her even sending that and being concerned.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I take a step back, and obviously that's what insurance is there for, for worst-case things that are very likely not to happen.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: But still, seeing it in writing was tough.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: But, you know, here's the question that I think we need to ask, and that I definitely need to ask myself.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: As much as I love my kids and want to protect them and want good things for them, I have to remind myself that God loves them even more, that he wants good things for them even more, and he has even better plans than I have for them.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: So why, why am I constantly worrying?
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: Why am I so slow to give that over into God's hands?
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: And why do I get myself so in an uproar?
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's just we have to be mindful and remember that that before they were our kids, they're God's kids.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: They're his kids first and foremost.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: And we have to give that over into his hands.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: And through the night, as I was in and out of sleep and worrying, and I woke up with this sense as well that what are you believing?
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: What are you believing, Brooke?
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: And what, what, where is what is your faith?
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: What what are you believing right now and what you say that you believe in, do you really believe it?
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I felt.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's it that that to unpack that a little bit more is just like for me, the perspective that I had that I think God was putting on my heart is that, you know, Brooke, if you talking to me regularly and you want a relationship with me and you believe in me and you believe me for good things and you know my character and my heart, then like you have to take another step of faith and really, really trust me.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: You can't say that you trust me with everything.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: You can't pray and put your kids' lives into my hands and then continue to worry, because what am I doing when I'm worrying?
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: What are we doing when we're worrying?
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: Are we questioning whether or not God really has them?
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: You know, so what do we really believe?
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: Do we really believe that if that worst case scenario, whatever it is that we're thinking happened, what what do we believe in that event?
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: Do if we really believe and trust God, and we have to ask ourselves this question.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: If our heart believes and trusts God and we believe who he says he is and we believe what the Bible says, then we have to start to ask ourselves in order to let go of the fear that we have and the worry we have, if that worst case scenario happened, do we then believe that he is big enough and strong enough and loving enough and gracious enough and merciful enough to get us through those times?
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: That is the question.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes for me, because of the obsessive types of thoughts, like when I think things, it can actually feel real.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like I feel it like it's real and happening and it can be very scary.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: And so to take a step back from that and go, if that worst thing happened, like do you believe or do you not believe that God has you and God has your kids?
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I think that because it can feel so uncomfortable when we're in a fear mode or worrying about our kids, it can feel so uncomfortable just to think like, oh my gosh, if something happened, what would I do?
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: I I could I would never, I wouldn't survive this or that, or how would I, how would I be there to help them through it, or whatever the case.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: And and the thing is, like, God's grace is always, always, always sufficient for us.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to hear that and remember it.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm saying it to myself, God's grace is always sufficient, but God's grace is not necessarily sufficient for things in the future that haven't even happened, for things that we're fabricating in our mind, and that's why they feel so awful.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: That doesn't mean that we're gonna walk through and skip through any struggle in life with like blah di-dah, it's not gonna be a big deal, but it does mean that like the savior of the world is never gonna let us down and will always be in anything that comes our way in our family's way or our kids' way with us.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I know for me, from my own mother's heart, as my kids get older, I need to just hold on to that with every fiber of my being and believe that.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: I just need to trust that and I need to let go.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I think we probably all need to do a little more of that because I really do believe that one of the biggest thiefs of joy in this face of life is the worry that we have over our kids.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's there are so many things I I can name the list.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think I need to because you are all moms and you know, like the older they get, the bigger the worries.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: Are they safe?
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: What's their health gonna be like?
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: Are they gonna have kids?
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: Are they, you know, what's it gonna be like with their partner when they get married?
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: How are they gonna live near us?
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: Well, all of these things.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: What about drugs?
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: What about alcohol?
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: Are they with the right crowd?
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: How's their faith?
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, the list can go on and on and on.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: And being able to take a step back and trust God with that is so important, you know?
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: And that for me too, just as I'm talking through the those things that I just listed, like I know that my kids have faith that seed was planted in them when they were kids, but also they're they're living their best 20-something lives right now, and not necessarily in a way that I would want them to live.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: And probably a lot of things, if I'm being honest, that are not pleasing to God.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I know that they know Jesus and they love him.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: I also know that he probably needs to do some work on their heart and calling them back to him.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, that's probably my biggest fear.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: My biggest worry for my kids is that no matter what happens, that they will be an eternity.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: And so again, that's something that we just have to give to God.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, there's only so much that we can do.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: We have to believe and trust that God can meet our kids in any place that they are and he can pull them, call them back to himself regardless of what they're going through, or regardless of what decisions or choices that they make.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: And that's, you know, a daily prayer for me over my kids.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: And and there's another thing too, as I'm talking, like, do not discount the power of prayer.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure I've said this before, but I will continue saying it.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: It just we can't discount how powerful prayer really is.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: And the blessing for us to be able to actually talk to the creator of the universe anytime we want, and to know that he's listening because he's omniscient and omnipresent is just sometimes that really blows my mind to think about that.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't think that we remind ourselves of that enough that to know that literally we can talk to God at any time, anywhere.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: We don't have to be in church, we don't have to be in front of a priest or a pastor.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: He's he is listening.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: We are his his child.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: He's listening.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: He wants us to come to him.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: And our prayers are powerful and he answers them.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: They're not always answered in the way that we would hope them to be.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: And that's something I struggle with too.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: That's probably a conversation to have with a pastor or somebody who has more education theologically.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: But I know, like, one thing that I feel so strongly, and I can be overwhelmed in when I spend my quiet time with God in the morning is just to think about and look around.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: Cause a lot of times I will be outside when I spend that time, that as big as God is, that He actually cares enough to listen to me and to the cries of my heart.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: It just, it's overwhelming.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: And it just like the gratitude that I have for that to know that that I can take anything that's on my heart and anything, any fear that I have about my kids to him or about my family or about my marriage or anything, and that he's listening is just so comforting.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: So don't, don't discount those prayers.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: Don't discount the power of prayer and be diligent.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like the Bible says that there's that parable about talking about the woman who went to the, I think it was a judge.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm sorry, I'm not great with I I can get you the notation in the scripture if you want it.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: Email me and I'll send it to you.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'll look it up.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: But they're saying that here's a woman who needed something with one of her kids, I think it was, and she was talking to the judge and the judge ignored her, or the leader, and she kept going back and back and back, and finally he didn't want to help her, but because she was so diligent and coming to him, he was like, Okay, fine, like what do you want?
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'll give it to you.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: So he and then God follows by saying, or the apostle that was talking about follows it by saying, if that human being is answering her, just because she's diligent and because she keeps going back and because she is just so committed to that ask and to what she needs, and he listened to her, how much more so, God our Father, who loves us so much?
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: So be diligent in your prayers over your kids.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: Uh from the time I knew that Anthony was going to be going abroad, I have been praying for them.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: But this summer it really hit me.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I think just about every single day I have been praying over him and all of these kids, praying specifically for their safety, for their protection, for them to get there safely, to come home safely, to be for them to be safe and around the right crowds while they're there and the right people, for them even to be called stronger and deeper in their faith and get to know Jesus more and to be run into leaders and and people and and even other students that love Jesus and for them to get to know him.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm praying all of these things over him because God can do anything.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: And you never know what situation or scenario God will use to draw our kids towards him.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: And so that is really an encouragement for me.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's just when we feel, I think, I think the thing here is when we feel out of control, like we have no control, like our kids are away from us.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: For example, right now, me with my son, I can't even get to him anytime quickly.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: The one thing that I can do, again, I always say, like, try to not focus on the things you can't control, but be diligent about the things you can control and what you can focus on.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: And what we can control and what we can focus on is how much and how regularly we pray for our kids.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: That is something that's within our power and with within our grasp, to pray over them, to even speak truth over them.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: I've been, you know, speaking to Anthony about that.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm also praying for God to give them discernment and discretion and for him to keep them safe, but for them also to make the right decisions to keep themselves safe.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, these are such important and powerful prayers, I think.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: I say this with humility, I don't know everything, but for me, it it just it feels like really important things to be praying over our kids.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: The other thing that is really helpful for me when I start to get fearful or spin out of control is to remember Romans 8.28, which says God is working together all things for our good.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I probably messed up the order of those words.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: So look it up for yourself.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: But it's Romans 8.28.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: I actually have it right here on my on my computer so that I see it in the morning when I I get up.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: But, you know, do we really believe that?
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_00: We have to believe that.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: We have to hold on to that.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: I remember years ago when we were still living in Pennsylvania, my kids were little, and I had joined a mom's group.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: We'd have a guest speaker, and then we'd have small group and coffee and tea and treats.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember talking in the small group that I was with one day and mentioning Romans 8.28 and saying, you know, it really hit me because that verse doesn't say God is using good things for our good.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_00: That verse says God is using all things, all things together for our good.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_00: All things, not just good things.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: That means he's using the hard things.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: He's using worry that we have or any struggle that comes up for us or that comes up for our kids or for our spouses or for our family or whatever that looks like.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: He is in that and he is using that for he can take those things and use them for our good.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: So even that is just encouraging to know that he doesn't mean harm for us or harm for our kids in anything that happens.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: He's in it and working it together for our good.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: And to me, that just allows me to breathe a sigh of relief.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I pray that over my kids and my family often.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: I also pray them over them, Ephesians 3 20.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: I I beg God do Ephesians 3.20, my kids and our family, where he can do infinitely and exceedingly abundantly more and better than anything we can ever hope or dream for them.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: And for our own lives, I think that verse is so important for us to hold on to and remember, not only for our kids, but as we go to build this next chapter of life and we rediscover ourselves and who we are in Jesus and what his calling is on our lives, like to remember that whatever we're thinking about doing, he can do exceedingly abundantly more and better than we could ever ask or or dream.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: And to give that to him and to expect big things from him in our life, that he can take the small, obedient baby steps, the small prayers and and grow them beyond our wildest dreams and use us in sometimes small ways, but big ways.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes we don't know about it till down the road.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, I think that that's just such a powerful thing for me too.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: Our pastor ends our service always praying that over us.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_00: And again, I probably messed up the order of those words.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm paraphrasing.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: So look, look up Ephesians 3.20 on your own, but that might be one that you want to write down and keep close to you and just and just remind yourself of that.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: For me, Romans 8.28 comforts me.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_00: I would say that Ephesians 3.20 excites me because it allows me to dream bigger or just trust God with what I'm doing, to just in the moments where I'm wanting to be a good steward and lean in on him and really seek in moments of quiet and stillness where I should be headed and what I should be doing, and know that every act of faith and obedience that I take, he can just grow bigger.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: And and to me, that's that's so exciting to think about being able to partner with him in those ways.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: And then the other verse that is on my heart a lot and that I think is very, very important, not only in this phase of life, as we're building new things and we're transitioning into a new phase and life is starting to look different, and also as we worry about our families and our kids, is t 2 Timothy 1 7.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_00: And this is like My, this is probably my life verse, and I want us to remember this with all of our hearts for Stillwell moms to remember this.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_00: And Second Timothy 1:7 says, For God did not give you a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and of sound mind.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I have to remind myself and recall that scripture to me on the regular, many times a day.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: And often when I'm asleep and fear creeps up, like it did the other night.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_00: I have to remember that.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_00: And that was really on my heart the other night, too, you guys, is that you're laying here in fear, and this fear is not from God.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: God didn't give me the spirit.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: God is not making me lie awake at night in fear.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_00: God is not placing these thoughts in my head about my kids.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: He's not trying to tell me or warn me that something bad's gonna happen because God does not give us a spirit of fear that's not from God.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_00: And if I want the things of God and I want my mind to be more like Jesus and I want to think his thoughts, when fear comes up, I am responsible for actively and over and over again squashing it and saying, nope, nope, not today, because I am not living in fear, because fear is not from God.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_00: It it just, it's so hard.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: I am not claiming that it's easy to just say that and move on and like la da-da, like you're not gonna think another bad thought.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_00: It maybe that's that it works that way for you.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: I've heard people say that they'll, you know, if they're feeling anxious or a little bit worried or down, they can quote scripture and it's like a weight lifts from them.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_00: And that is wonderful.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I know God has the power to do it.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: That doesn't always happen that way for me.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_00: I probably because I get so anxious and because of the workings of my brain with the obsessiveness, which we can talk about down the road.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: That's a conversation for another day.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm just telling you that it's not always easy.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're listening and saying, Oh, I wish it were that easy, I get it.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's not.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: But we have to be, even if it's not easy, we have to remember, A, that with Jesus we can do hard things and B, it's worth it.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: So what are what are our choices?
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_00: To just live in fear and constant worry?
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_00: Are we gonna choose that every time that comes up to say nope and to remember scripture and to remember truth and to remember that fear is not from God and we don't have to live in it, that there is something better that the Holy Spirit can guide us out of that and keep us strong.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think that's so important.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_00: And then to also to remember like fear isn't from God.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_00: We don't have to stay there, but what is from God is power.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_00: Power, love, and sound mind.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, what greater gifts?
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, eternal life obviously is greater than that.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_00: But I mean, power, love, and sound mind while we're on this earth.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: And that trumps any circumstance or anything that happens, we can have, and God gives us power, love, and sound mind.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_00: So let me unpack that a little bit for you when I was doing just a little bit of research.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I know early on, if you listen to the first podcast, I told you that I wasn't gonna plan and prepare at all.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_00: So apologies because now it sounds like I'm lying, but I I'm finding that a tiny bit of preparation, I don't want this to be manufactured for you, but a tiny bit of preparation feels like it keeps me on track because otherwise I tend to just talk in circles and all over the place because that's how my brain goes.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_00: So at any rate, I just want to unpack this.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_00: What I I came across in just a tiny bit of research that I just think is so powerful with 2 Timothy 1, 7.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_00: Power, love and sound minds.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_00: Power is strength in hard things.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_00: So remember that God gives us power.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_00: Anything that you're worried about, when things get hard, when actual things come up beyond just our worries, we have power in God.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_00: We have strength in hard things.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_00: Love.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_00: We have the ability to care for others without selfishness.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_00: We have the ability to love beyond our own selfish wants and needs, to love our kids, to love those around us, to love ourselves and to love God.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_00: And then sound mind, you guys, sound mind in a world where we're just so battered all the time with just fear and worry.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like just get on Instagram and scroll through for a couple of seconds or get on Netflix and see all the scary things, or or then, I mean, I don't watch the news, but the news, I mean, we are constantly inundated with fear and stress.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's like that's the overarching message of all this fear and stress beyond the things that we have to the things we worry about with our kids as moms and our families, the state of the world.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_00: But we can have in the midst of all of that sound mind, in the midst of all of the emotional issues and the health crises and just the distractions that go on in the world today, we can have sound mind, self-control, and clear thinking instead of panic.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_00: Wrap your brain around that for a second.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm holding on to that with all my heart.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I I just I I felt that as I was sleeping the night before Anthony was leaving.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this is not from God.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_00: What who are you trusting and what do you believe?
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I just, I mean, you guys, do we realize how big God is?
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_00: Do we remember that?
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if we do enough.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, at least it's one thing for me to read my Bible and spend time with him and be in prayer and meditate and say that I trust him and tell him I believe, but like to put that into action and actually grasp that and hold on to it and to know how big he is and how he's got me and my kids no matter what.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's a whole different thing.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_00: But man, when we can start to do that, that's where the real joy is, right?
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's where the real freedom is.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_00: But it's just not an easy thing.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_00: I think there's a reason why the man in the Bible, uh, again, the scripture, I have to look this up for you, but he prayed, I believe, Lord, but help me with my unbelief.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's okay for us to do that too.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I do pray that regularly, Lord, help me with my unbelief.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_00: You are the author and perfecter of my faith, perfect it in me.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_00: Because he he has the capacity to grow our faith when we don't.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_00: I pray that over my kids too, to take that seed of faith that was planted in them in their youth and grow it like a mustard seed.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_00: And man, you know, so I went out to dinner with one of the moms who's my one of my my son's actually like one of his best friends, their roommate.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_00: So we went to dinner after they went to the airport and I was talking with her, and we were talking about this like revival with young men and just seeing it even on social media, like, and some of these people, even I listen to that my kids know of, like, that there's just they're talking about Jesus, they're talking about faith, they're talking about real hard things, they want to be leaders, they want to be faithful.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I think we're gonna see a lot more of this.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm talking from a perspective of men because I have three boys, but like if you have uh adult girls, like Girls Gone Bible, I've listened to some of them and they're I think they're like 20 something or maybe very early 30s, but man, they're so faithful.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_00: And then for the boys, there's people, there's just it's unbelievable like what's out there that you can point your kids to as well.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_00: So if you want any of those names or links, let me know and I'm happy to share those as well.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_00: But it's an exciting time to see.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm believing big things for this next generation.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_00: I really am.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'm really, really hopeful for them.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, I just have to keep my fears checked.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's an important thing.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_00: We have to constantly lay down those fears to God and we have to walk in his peace and his strength.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's for me is the message here of the day.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_00: And that that comforts me.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I thank you for indulging me to have this conversation with you.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_00: I needed to unpack what was in my brain and what I was thinking through.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I will tell you then to bring this full circle that as much worrying as I did, um, when I dropped Anthony off at the airport, I just I had like, I didn't know how I was gonna feel.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_00: I was so anxious through not so anxious, that's dramatic, but through the summer, off and on, worried and just thinking about like, oh, it's coming.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_00: Don't you feel that way sometimes?
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like the days leading up and the anticipation is worse than the real thing.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_00: So by the time I got to the day, I was, I was really yesterday, you know, at peace.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I didn't know how I'd feel saying goodbye to him at the airport, but I really had a very strong sense of peace that God has my son and God wants best for him and and he's gonna be great.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I think the last thing to just touch on is like, and I've said this before, but really, as I had talked about Ephesians 3.20, why is it?
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_00: Why do we want to be so quick to jump to the worst case scenarios?
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_00: And instead, why don't we think more about like the amazing things that God can do and the amazing experiences and what all the amazing and wonderful things that could happen?
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why was I so quick to jump to every single thing that could go wrong while he's away instead of believing for and just praying for and and thinking about the experiences that he's gonna have and the places he's gonna get to see and the people that he's gonna get to meet, how his faith will have the opportunity to grow while he's there.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, why wasn't I thinking about any of that?
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_00: Being a mom is hard.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_00: Being a mom is hard, but thank goodness, like, thank goodness we have Jesus.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_00: Thank goodness.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_00: And thank goodness he's a good father and he loves our kids even more than we do, and he loves us more than I think we can even possibly wrap our brain around.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_00: And so thank goodness for that.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_00: Thank God for that.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_00: Well, ladies, thank you again for joining me today.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, I hope this resonated with you.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_00: Again, please reach out to me.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_00: I had somebody else um reach out to me, a couple people reach out to me, but last week I talked to one woman in particular that shared some things she was growing, going through, and we chatted via email, and I'm going to be sharing some of that conversation.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_00: I won't mention her specifically, but I'm gonna share the conversation and talk through that with you in an up episode that's coming up.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_00: And so I I just encourage you, again, I say this after every episode, but reach out and let me know how you're feeling and what's what's going on, how you're feeling about the podcast, if you have any advice, if you have any feedback, if there's something that you're dealing with that you would like me to talk about, if you have struggled, like whatever, whatever it is, I'm building this community for not me, for all of us.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_00: That we can be there for each other, that we have a safe space to be, to grow in our faith, to talk about how we can be the best moms in this next phase of life and the the best spouses and friends, like all of the things, all of these different rules we play, but most importantly, how we can walk this life in this next chapter faithfully for the Lord and with a lot of joy, just a lot of joy.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so I want us to be able to do that together, and that's what this space is for.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_00: So don't hesitate to reach out.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_00: The email is Brooke with an e on the end at thestillwellmom.com.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_00: You can also go to the website, www.thestillwellmom.com, for everything that's going on there.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_00: If you are enjoying this podcast, it would mean so much to me.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_00: A, if you would share it with somebody that might enjoy it, and B, if you would take just a quick moment to rate and review it.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_00: It gives so much for me for just visibility and growing the audience.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_00: It'll allow more women like us to tune in and listen.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_00: Also make sure you check out and follow me on Instagram and Facebook.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_00: If you prefer to watch this instead of listen, I'm over on YouTube.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_00: And again, you know, just remember that you don't have to do midlife alone.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_00: You can always choose stewardship over striving, and you can be strong in body, steady in mind, and rooted in faith.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time.