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She's an Imposter! · She's On The Money

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: She's on the Money.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: She's on the Money. Hello, and welcome to She's on
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: the Money, the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: Have you ever not gone for a job because you
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: don't think you're qualified enough, even though you have stacks
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: of experience? Have you ever stopped yourself from asking for
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: a pay rise because you don't really think you're worthy,
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: even though your colleagues say that you're pretty great? Do
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: you ever feel like a fraud in your job and
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: that eventually you'll get found out?
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: Yes?
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: Well, if like us, you answered yes to any or
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: maybe all of those questions, then it's likely you have
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: imposter syndrome, a phenomenon that's holding us back, not only professionally,
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: but financially. And we think it's about time that changed.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: Yesterday exactly right.
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: My name is Georgia King and joining me today for
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: what I think is going to be quite an empowering
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: little chat.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: I think it will be my friends.
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: We've got ved on.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: The MIC's over here.
• 1:06
  Speaker 4: And why'd I say friends not friend?
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: Georgia, I'm a surprise.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: We have the.
• 1:13
  Speaker 4: Illustrious Tony Lodge joining us today because I thought that
• 1:17
  Speaker 4: tuning into a conversation between three pals is going to
• 1:20
  Speaker 4: be a lot more empowering and a lot more relatable
• 1:23
  Speaker 4: than just Georgia King and I are going, yeah, cool,
• 1:25
  Speaker 4: this makes sense. Here are the stats and facts, because
• 1:28
  Speaker 4: last week Tony and I were having a great chat
• 1:31
  Speaker 4: about imposter syndrome and how we both suffer from it,
• 1:34
  Speaker 4: and you probably heard part of that in one of
• 1:36
  Speaker 4: our most recent money diaries, and we were like, what
• 1:38
  Speaker 4: a better time to drag Tony into the chat talk
• 1:41
  Speaker 4: about impostera syndrome.
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: I'm here for it, You're here for it. I feel
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: like I already even don't belong in this, Like, oh
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: my god, Jae King so intimidated.
• 1:51
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Georgia is really scary PAFA jacket as well, and
• 1:56
  Speaker 4: I'm like, I need She's so well dressed, just like all.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: The I'm wearing my active way guy.
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: But who looks that good inactive ways?
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: So rude.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: So let's get into it, guys. It's not just the
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: three of us that feel imposter syndrome. According to a
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: study in the journal a General Internal Medicine US Study,
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  Speaker 2: eighty two percent of the population feels imposter syndrome at
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: some stage of their career. For anyone who isn't familiar
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: with this concept, be can you outline exactly what we're
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: talking about absolutely so.
• 2:29
  Speaker 4: As spoken about before, imposter syndrome is when you feel
• 2:32
  Speaker 4: like a fraud, usually in the professional space, where you
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: feel as though you're going to get found out in
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: any moment.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: Now, if you're in.
• 2:40
  Speaker 4: The situation where maybe you did lie about your credentials
• 2:43
  Speaker 4: and your university degrees and stuff, that theory is probably
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: incredibly well warranted and I'd probably out myself now, and then.
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: It's also probably not imposter syndrome.
• 2:52
  Speaker 4: If it's actually yeah, yeah, I actually believe that is
• 2:56
  Speaker 4: called fraud full like it's not imposter syndrome, but hoster
• 3:00
  Speaker 4: syndromes where you just feel as though you aren't deserving
• 3:03
  Speaker 4: of the role or the place or the position that
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: you're currently in. And it often manifests itself as a
• 3:08
  Speaker 4: fear of the success that you're going to achieve all
• 3:12
  Speaker 4: the failure that you might inevitably come up against. And
• 3:15
  Speaker 4: it also manifests itself in a way that often leans
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: towards a tendency to be quite self depreciating and to
• 3:21
  Speaker 4: also self sabotage, and because of that, it can really
• 3:24
  Speaker 4: hinder our careers and our progression and our personal development,
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: which is why.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: It has to get out, like get out the door,
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: put it in the bin. Ce bye.
• 3:31
  Speaker 4: That's the end of the podcast. We've just decided it
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: shouldn't exist anymore, so therefore it doesn't. But most of
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: us probably think as a relatively new concept, when in
• 3:38
  Speaker 4: reality it is not. Imposter syndrome was first articulated by
• 3:42
  Speaker 4: researchers Aims and Clans back in nineteen seventy eight, which
• 3:46
  Speaker 4: is much further away than we thought it was, because
• 3:49
  Speaker 4: if you ask me, in nineteen ninety was ten years
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: ago and it was actually like thirty so true. Yes,
• 3:55
  Speaker 4: But they found out that people who had experienced imposter
• 3:58
  Speaker 4: syndrome would attribute this success to knowing the right people,
• 4:02
  Speaker 4: or to luck, or to being in the right place
• 4:04
  Speaker 4: at the right time, rather than to any real skill.
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  Speaker 4: And this is something that really frustrates me because I
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: hear it a lot, and you guys would hear in
• 4:12
  Speaker 4: the office often if anybody says I'm so lucky, I
• 4:16
  Speaker 4: jump down their throats quite literally, like I probably need
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: to tone it down a bit. I'm like, well, Tony,
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  Speaker 4: it is not lucky that you are here. You are
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: here because you are skill. And I hate when people
• 4:24
  Speaker 4: just go, oh yeah, it's so lucky, Like you know
• 4:26
  Speaker 4: what lucky is. Lucky's finding two dollars on the ground.
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  Speaker 4: You don't accidentally stumble into a career. It wasn't a mistake,
• 4:32
  Speaker 4: it was a choice and you were chosen. And I
• 4:34
  Speaker 4: think that in Australia, with tall poppy syndrome being so prevalent,
• 4:38
  Speaker 4: it's so easy to inflict those things on ourselves because
• 4:42
  Speaker 4: it's not often you hear another woman, especially stand up
• 4:45
  Speaker 4: and say I'm really proud of myself.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: I do really well.
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  Speaker 4: Like nobody says that because you kind of side eye
• 4:51
  Speaker 4: them and go oh okay.
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: People don't like to hear that.
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  Speaker 4: People don't like to hear it, and I love to
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  Speaker 4: hear that. And I always ask.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: People are you proud of yourself? Did such a great job?
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: Are you proud?
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  Speaker 4: Because it's one thing to say, hey gee, I'm really
• 5:04
  Speaker 4: proud of that thing you did last week and another
• 5:07
  Speaker 4: to be like, hey gee, that was sick.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: Are you proud of what you did?
• 5:10
  Speaker 4: Like, just changing the narrative around how we actually value
• 5:14
  Speaker 4: ourselves is.
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  Speaker 3: So important, especially as women. I feel that if you
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: do come out and say I'm really proud of what
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: I did, or did you see that I did that
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  Speaker 3: and I did a great job? People are like, wow, tickets. Yeah, yeah,
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  Speaker 3: You're not actually allowed to say those things because it
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: means that you're cocky, when actually I think, oh nice, Yeah,
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: I want to be like a really good job, but
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: I just feel comfortable doing that.
• 5:34
  Speaker 4: Most say exactly, and I think there's you know, I
• 5:36
  Speaker 4: don't want to say there's right and wrong ways to
• 5:38
  Speaker 4: do that, because I don't believe that there is a
• 5:40
  Speaker 4: right or a wrong way to celebrate yourself. But I
• 5:43
  Speaker 4: think that a lot of people just assume that it's
• 5:45
  Speaker 4: all wrong, when in reality that's not the case. Like,
• 5:48
  Speaker 4: you're not wrong in celebrating your successes, no matter how
• 5:51
  Speaker 4: big or small. But getting back to the ims and
• 5:53
  Speaker 4: clants for research from nineteen seventy eight, they also established
• 5:57
  Speaker 4: that those who experienced imposter syndrome had difficulty accepting compliments
• 6:02
  Speaker 4: and recognition. They would often dwell instead on negative feedback,
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  Speaker 4: and that people with imposter syndrome overestimate the intellect and
• 6:09
  Speaker 4: competence of those around them and would compare their areas
• 6:13
  Speaker 4: of weakness with the strengths.
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: Of others as if you're describing me. Oh really, yeah, definitely,
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: I feel but I.
• 6:20
  Speaker 4: Think so I feel like so many people do that,
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  Speaker 4: and I've been really guilty of that as well. I
• 6:26
  Speaker 4: just assume everybody around me is so much smarter than me,
• 6:29
  Speaker 4: and I think it's really nice to be able to say, no,
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  Speaker 4: I deserve to be here.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: I'm going to drag my own seat up to.
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: The table and I'm going to sit at the table
• 6:36
  Speaker 4: because I deserve to be here. Like, we are intelligent people,
• 6:40
  Speaker 4: and it actually breaks my heart to think that the
• 6:42
  Speaker 4: people that I love the most are actually feeling like
• 6:44
  Speaker 4: they're not competent.
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  Speaker 1: What you deserve so much better than that.
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  Speaker 4: Like, I think it's one thing for people to say, oh, yeah,
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  Speaker 4: you know, I've just joined a new company.
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  Speaker 1: I'm twenty years old.
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  Speaker 4: The average age of the employees here is fifty and
• 6:57
  Speaker 4: they all have eight degrees and I don't even have one.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: And yet I understand why you.
• 7:01
  Speaker 4: Might feel a little bit out of your league. But
• 7:04
  Speaker 4: you know, even for people like Tony right, Tony's so intelligent,
• 7:08
  Speaker 4: so well regarded in this space, and I thought I
• 7:10
  Speaker 4: lucked out when I got her stole her from radio.
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  Speaker 4: I genuinely was so impressed. And the people that I
• 7:16
  Speaker 4: spoke to, because we obviously have a really close association
• 7:19
  Speaker 4: with the radio station that I stole Tony from, they
• 7:22
  Speaker 4: were all like, oh, my gosh, she's the best.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: You're going to be so happy stuff. Yeah, But then
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: to hear.
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  Speaker 4: That you then say something like, oh, I feel like
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  Speaker 4: I shouldn't be here. It's like wow, like nobody else
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  Speaker 4: thinks that of you. And I guarantee that those experiencing
• 7:37
  Speaker 4: imposter synchrome don't have people going, oh, they're the wrong
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  Speaker 4: person for the job. Absolutely not, because we have people
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  Speaker 4: pleasers and we're trying to hu Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: That's why everybody loves us.
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  Speaker 4: Going back to the research, instead of going off on
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  Speaker 4: my tangents, which I feel like I'm going to be
• 7:51
  Speaker 4: really good at this episode, i'ms and clants found that
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  Speaker 4: it also disproportionately impacts high achievers, women, people have color,
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  Speaker 4: and minority groups, and it's really common in millennials, who
• 8:03
  Speaker 4: incidentally are the main demographic of our podcast, which is
• 8:06
  Speaker 4: a huge reason why we have to talk about this
• 8:09
  Speaker 4: more often.
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  Speaker 2: So you have a background in behavioral psychology that we
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: do draw on quite a bit in these conversations.
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  Speaker 1: I feel like finance is psychology. Yeah, well it's it's.
• 8:20
  Speaker 4: A close psychology linked right, Yeah, I mean it's psychology
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  Speaker 4: with numbers.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah. So why does this happen? I think it's just
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  Speaker 1: in our nature.
• 8:30
  Speaker 4: You know, it's really sad, But I think it's something
• 8:33
  Speaker 4: that has been pushed on us that we just don't
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  Speaker 4: feel deserving of the accolades and the successes that we have,
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  Speaker 4: and therefore we doubt that people have given them to us.
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  Speaker 4: And I feel it. I do it all the time,
• 8:44
  Speaker 4: and I feel so grateful to have achieved the success
• 8:48
  Speaker 4: that I have.
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  Speaker 1: I know it's not luck.
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  Speaker 4: I deeply know it's not luck, because I work my
• 8:53
  Speaker 4: butt off to be in the position that I'm in,
• 8:55
  Speaker 4: and I care so deeply about our community, and I
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: care so deeply about the causes and my team, and
• 9:00
  Speaker 4: you know, if I pragmatically look at it, I know
• 9:02
  Speaker 4: why I'm where I am.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: It's not luck.
• 9:04
  Speaker 4: It was I created this. But even saying those words
• 9:08
  Speaker 4: makes me feel a little bit icky because I feel like, oh,
• 9:10
  Speaker 4: are people going to listen to this and think I've
• 9:12
  Speaker 4: got tickets on myself? Because I don't think I'm lucky
• 9:15
  Speaker 4: for being in the position.
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: But that's exactly exact same.
• 9:18
  Speaker 4: It makes me feel icky, and it makes me feel
• 9:21
  Speaker 4: like I shouldn't be having this conversation or celebrating my
• 9:23
  Speaker 4: own successes or using examples about myself in this particular situation.
• 9:28
  Speaker 4: But the amount of times I felt out of my
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: depth and out of my realm in this space, it's crazy.
• 9:34
  Speaker 4: But it's not what I know our community sees. And
• 9:37
  Speaker 4: I'm so grateful that they don't see that, because we've
• 9:39
  Speaker 4: being a whole heap of trouble. If you guys saw
• 9:41
  Speaker 4: me the way I see me.
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: But why do you think that of all of those
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: groups of people that suffer from imposter syndrome at higher percentages,
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: why do you think millennials are among those? Because I
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: can understand, I mean, speaking from my own experience as
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: a woman, I know that that's why I feel it,
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: because I think, oh, I don't deserve to be here,
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: and I've previously worked in very male dominated workplaces and industries.
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: But why a millennials? Is it just because we're young
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: and we don't think we're in.
• 10:11
  Speaker 4: I think it's because we are young. Obviously, the research
• 10:14
  Speaker 4: stretches back way before millennials. We're even in existence. It
• 10:18
  Speaker 4: was before our parents actually met to create us. I
• 10:20
  Speaker 4: think there are a couple of reasons for this one.
• 10:22
  Speaker 4: It's the stories we tell ourselves, right, So if we
• 10:24
  Speaker 4: repeatedly tell ourselves a story that we're a fraud, we
• 10:27
  Speaker 4: are going to believe it after a certain period of time,
• 10:30
  Speaker 4: and it's a really vicious cycle. But then on the
• 10:32
  Speaker 4: flip side, I think as millennials, we have been afforded
• 10:35
  Speaker 4: the opportunity to be far more successful than any other
• 10:38
  Speaker 4: generation because we're now living in an era where it's
• 10:41
  Speaker 4: okay to be young and in power, and it's okay
• 10:43
  Speaker 4: to be young and in leadership positions, and that's being
• 10:46
  Speaker 4: far more embraced, whereas, if you take it back to
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: nineteen seventy eight, was actually really uncommon for there to
• 10:51
  Speaker 4: be working mums. And you know, we're more empowered these days.
• 10:54
  Speaker 4: But that then perpetuates us because we compare our circumstances
• 10:58
  Speaker 4: to the circumstances of people we look up too and
• 11:00
  Speaker 4: people that we've had experiences with.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: And you know, my parents have.
• 11:04
  Speaker 4: Had great careers, but they've had a lot of longevity
• 11:06
  Speaker 4: in their careers, whereas me I bounced around jobs and
• 11:09
  Speaker 4: found the right fit for me, and that seems to
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: be looked down upon. And I think that, you know,
• 11:13
  Speaker 4: we just have a completely different experience. But in the
• 11:17
  Speaker 4: age of technology, which makes me sound really old, we're
• 11:20
  Speaker 4: able to learn so much easier.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: Like we had.
• 11:24
  Speaker 4: Google doing university assignments, and you know, Tony, you could
• 11:27
  Speaker 4: jump into a job and not know something, but it's
• 11:30
  Speaker 4: actually okay because you can google it find a way
• 11:31
  Speaker 4: to solve that problem. And I think that in twenty
• 11:34
  Speaker 4: twenty one, millennials are better a problem solving than gathering knowledge,
• 11:38
  Speaker 4: whereas historically careers were about okay, well you needed thirty
• 11:42
  Speaker 4: years experience to gather all the knowledge that you needed
• 11:44
  Speaker 4: to do that specific job. So I would say we're
• 11:47
  Speaker 4: more problem solvers these days than historically, not because we're smarter,
• 11:50
  Speaker 4: but because we have access to the resources. And that
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: therefore means we feel as though that thirty years experience
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: that a tech person had, we don't actually need that
• 11:59
  Speaker 4: to say solve the problem, because that person with the
• 12:01
  Speaker 4: thirty years of knowledge actually made us a YouTube video.
• 12:04
  Speaker 4: We went and looked at it and solved our issue ourselves. Yeah,
• 12:07
  Speaker 4: and then we feel maybe not as competent because you know,
• 12:10
  Speaker 4: that was the way it worked.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: What about with women vs?
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: So they were in another group that we chatted about
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: just before. Why do you think that women are impacted
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: more adversely than men?
• 12:22
  Speaker 4: Let's jump back into stats and give you some hot tips.
• 12:25
  Speaker 4: But we've all heard a thousand times this, but it's
• 12:28
  Speaker 4: really important to reiterate again. But women go for jobs
• 12:31
  Speaker 4: when they are one hundred percent qualified for that job,
• 12:34
  Speaker 4: whereas men will apply for them if they are sixty
• 12:37
  Speaker 4: percent qualified for them, because they just go, yeah, I'll
• 12:39
  Speaker 4: work it out, no problems. They genuinely just have more
• 12:42
  Speaker 4: confidence at an underlying base level than we do, whereas
• 12:45
  Speaker 4: we want to tick all the boxes and dot all
• 12:47
  Speaker 4: the i's and cross all the t's, and whereas I
• 12:49
  Speaker 4: would want to go into a job and know one
• 12:52
  Speaker 4: hundred percent of it instead of relying on the fact
• 12:54
  Speaker 4: that you can learn a lot on the job, whereas
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: men are more likely to be like, yeah, I'll pick
• 12:58
  Speaker 4: that stuff up. It'll be quite easy. And that really
• 13:00
  Speaker 4: upsets me because it's not fair, like, how come they
• 13:03
  Speaker 4: got that level of confidence? Where can I get some
• 13:05
  Speaker 4: of that? Because no one told me I wasn't confident.
• 13:07
  Speaker 4: But my risk tolerance is less than men. I'm less
• 13:10
  Speaker 4: likely to want to take risk, whereas men are far
• 13:13
  Speaker 4: more risky, and I think that that underlyingly just plays
• 13:15
  Speaker 4: into it. Unfortunately, when it comes to most workplaces, men
• 13:19
  Speaker 4: specifically white straight men, are able to glide through because
• 13:24
  Speaker 4: of the system that has been designed by them is
• 13:27
  Speaker 4: actually for them. So that's really nice for them, and
• 13:30
  Speaker 4: they don't doubt their inclusion at the table because they
• 13:32
  Speaker 4: already build a belief system that they belong and because
• 13:35
  Speaker 4: generally speaking, they've never really been made to feel like
• 13:38
  Speaker 4: they shouldn't be at that table, Like the table was
• 13:40
  Speaker 4: built by men, and they always sat around their own table,
• 13:43
  Speaker 4: and now we're asking to join a table that we
• 13:46
  Speaker 4: weren't always welcome at. Of course we're feeling apprehensive about
• 13:49
  Speaker 4: knocking on that door. Yeah, this is also worsened for
• 13:52
  Speaker 4: people of color and other minority groups who have to
• 13:54
  Speaker 4: fight much harder to get a seat at that table
• 13:56
  Speaker 4: and who already deal with added adversity, which is wildly
• 13:59
  Speaker 4: under fair. Again, like we talk about this, you know,
• 14:02
  Speaker 4: we're a room of white women and we are privileged
• 14:05
  Speaker 4: to be in that position, but it was through no
• 14:07
  Speaker 4: choice of our own. And the same if you're a
• 14:09
  Speaker 4: minority group or a person of color, like, it makes
• 14:11
  Speaker 4: no sense to not be allowed at table because you're
• 14:14
  Speaker 4: just as smart, just as competent, and just as you know,
• 14:17
  Speaker 4: deserving of that seat as we are, and it just
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: baffles me. Then in twenty twenty one, we're still fighting
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: for these chairs that are rightfully yours. And we have
• 14:25
  Speaker 4: beautiful conversations about this all the time in our community,
• 14:28
  Speaker 4: in our DMS, particularly about people saying, hey, like, this
• 14:32
  Speaker 4: is my situation and i just feel like I'm not
• 14:33
  Speaker 4: deserving and I'm not this, and I'm not that, and
• 14:35
  Speaker 4: it's just like so heartbreaking to hear your stories. But
• 14:39
  Speaker 4: I'm also just so grateful that you're willing to share
• 14:41
  Speaker 4: them with me, and you know, want to open up
• 14:44
  Speaker 4: and ask for some guidance, because you do deserve that
• 14:46
  Speaker 4: seat at that table, and sometimes you just need someone
• 14:50
  Speaker 4: to say no, you deserve it for you to feel
• 14:52
  Speaker 4: like you can go and open that door, you can
• 14:54
  Speaker 4: apply for that job, And let us today be that
• 14:56
  Speaker 4: person that says.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: No, you deserve this.
• 14:58
  Speaker 4: No, you've worked hard, We've done a really good job,
• 15:01
  Speaker 4: and we are so damn proud of you, because too
• 15:04
  Speaker 4: often we forget to tell the people that surround us,
• 15:07
  Speaker 4: that we're proud of them, that they are doing a
• 15:09
  Speaker 4: good job, and that I think plays into it as well,
• 15:11
  Speaker 4: where we just you don't hear that we're really good
• 15:14
  Speaker 4: at forgetting that and only hearing the negative feedback, Like
• 15:17
  Speaker 4: how many times do we You know? You and I
• 15:20
  Speaker 4: do it in the office all the time, Tony, Like
• 15:21
  Speaker 4: we'll HiPE each other up and we'll be excited about
• 15:24
  Speaker 4: stuff we're doing and I'll be like, that's sick or
• 15:26
  Speaker 4: this is sick, and then we make one small mistake
• 15:28
  Speaker 4: and we ruminate over the oh, I'm so sorry about
• 15:30
  Speaker 4: that for ages, and it's like stop, Like, who cares?
• 15:33
  Speaker 4: Look at all the good stuff you're doing.
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: That tiny mistake doesn't actually remove all the amazing stuff
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: that you've been doing.
• 15:39
  Speaker 4: No, but somehow mentally it derails all of those positive
• 15:43
  Speaker 4: comments and they fly straight out of our brains and
• 15:45
  Speaker 4: onto the floor, and the only thing taking up space
• 15:48
  Speaker 4: in our brain is that one thing that we did
• 15:50
  Speaker 4: that probably wasn't even that big of a deal. So
• 15:53
  Speaker 4: I think that it's also important to remember that what
• 15:55
  Speaker 4: you're placing priority on might not be the right thing.
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so moving on it exactly the crux of this podcast, right, Yeah, well,
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: I mean it's a money podcast. So how is this
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: impacting our finances significantly?
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: My friends?
• 16:09
  Speaker 4: So it's holding us back from bigger and better career opportunities,
• 16:13
  Speaker 4: be that a new job or a potential promotion at
• 16:16
  Speaker 4: our current workplace, or even the idea that we don't
• 16:20
  Speaker 4: deserve a pay rise that we should be asking for.
• 16:22
  Speaker 4: So often it's also not asking for what we are worth.
• 16:25
  Speaker 4: And this is big for freelancers who are trying to
• 16:28
  Speaker 4: work out their hourly rate, but also people who haven't
• 16:30
  Speaker 4: had pay rises in a significant period of time, because
• 16:34
  Speaker 4: often bigger corporations are going to rely on the fact
• 16:37
  Speaker 4: that they're just loading through, like we don't need to
• 16:40
  Speaker 4: give them a pay rise because they haven't asked, and
• 16:42
  Speaker 4: sometimes we just don't have the confidence, so they let
• 16:45
  Speaker 4: us cruise through for years, and then when we finally
• 16:47
  Speaker 4: do ask, they act like it's a level of audacity.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: That we shouldn't have.
• 16:51
  Speaker 4: So I think it's impacting our finances significantly because one
• 16:55
  Speaker 4: we don't think we deserve it, but two other people
• 16:58
  Speaker 4: start to feel comfortable with the fact that you haven't
• 17:01
  Speaker 4: asked or haven't asserted any level of dominance around the
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: fact that you do have a great amount of capability. Now.
• 17:08
  Speaker 4: The other day I saw a post, it was back
• 17:10
  Speaker 4: in March from a person called Alice in our community
• 17:13
  Speaker 4: who had a job offer come up, but she was
• 17:15
  Speaker 4: really confused about how much money to ask for. The
• 17:17
  Speaker 4: job was a massive step up from what she'd been
• 17:19
  Speaker 4: doing previously, and then when she googled the average range
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: for what people in that kind of job were making,
• 17:24
  Speaker 4: it was so so so much more than what she
• 17:27
  Speaker 4: was currently on and she felt like an impostor for asking.
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: For that much.
• 17:31
  Speaker 4: But fortunately, in true she's on the money community form.
• 17:34
  Speaker 4: We rallied behind her and encouraged her to shoot for
• 17:36
  Speaker 4: that high number. Really proud of you, but that's something
• 17:39
  Speaker 4: I see a lot. And by the way, she did
• 17:41
  Speaker 4: get that high number, which is job Alice.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: I know, cheers Alice.
• 17:45
  Speaker 4: But I think it's also really important to remember that
• 17:47
  Speaker 4: if you're going for a new job, whether it is
• 17:49
  Speaker 4: in the same industry or not, let's value that new job,
• 17:53
  Speaker 4: not what your current salary was.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: Like.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: That new job has a value. What is it?
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: Don't you think it's hardly v as someone with imposter
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: syndrome when you're going for those jobs you're just like,
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: I'm just lucky to be here. Just have like pay me,
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: don't even pay like, don't worry about like you you
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: want to pay me because you don't want to miss
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: out on that opportunity because you don't really believe that
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: you're worth anything, you know what I mean?
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: Like yeah, and that how do you come back?
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: My heart?
• 18:15
  Speaker 4: But everything in this episode is but I think you
• 18:18
  Speaker 4: need to remember it's not luck.
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: Let's stop.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: Let's stop using the word lucky. Nobody is lucky. People
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: are worthy of You're lucky if you win the lottery.
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: You're not lucky.
• 18:26
  Speaker 4: If you're awarded a job interview because someone chose to
• 18:29
  Speaker 4: have you there, it was a choice. And a job
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: interview is actually two ways. You're not just there to
• 18:34
  Speaker 4: impress them. You're there to work out if that's the right.
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: Fit for you.
• 18:38
  Speaker 4: And you need to remember that you need to do
• 18:39
  Speaker 4: the right thing for you because at the end of
• 18:41
  Speaker 4: the day, money is not the key indicator of happiness.
• 18:45
  Speaker 4: And there's actually a cap and I think it's about
• 18:46
  Speaker 4: seventy five thousand dollars a year where the more you
• 18:50
  Speaker 4: once you earn more than that, you actually don't get happier.
• 18:53
  Speaker 4: You get more stressed. And it's not to say that
• 18:55
  Speaker 4: money doesn't buy happiness. It absolutely can, because it affords
• 18:59
  Speaker 4: you a level of financial security. But I think it's
• 19:03
  Speaker 4: really important to remember that find the right role for you,
• 19:06
  Speaker 4: feel comfortable in it, and also remember it's a two
• 19:08
  Speaker 4: way street, so imposter syndrome can really set us back.
• 19:11
  Speaker 4: But it's also just not fair that we have it
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: full stop.
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: End of story.
• 19:14
  Speaker 4: And I think it's a lot about mindset and some
• 19:17
  Speaker 4: of the best people. You know, We had a money
• 19:21
  Speaker 4: diarist the other day and that was the one that
• 19:23
  Speaker 4: you and I did. And she didn't have a degree.
• 19:25
  Speaker 4: She was the only one in the room in her
• 19:26
  Speaker 4: career that didn't have a degree. Was she any less
• 19:29
  Speaker 4: deserving of being there?
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: Tony?
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: Absolutely not exactly. She worked really hard, she'd been working
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: through lots of jobs for years and years, and she
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: said she had a great boss who gave her heaps
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: of support, and she still didn't feel like she deserved
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: to be there. And if we can't even accept the
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: praise from the people that are literally signing our paychecks
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: every bactly, then what are we up to?
• 19:49
  Speaker 4: Yeah, And something that I have as a little bit
• 19:52
  Speaker 4: of a mantra, especially when things get hard or I
• 19:55
  Speaker 4: don't feel like I'm in the right room, or I
• 19:57
  Speaker 4: just feel like, you know, oh, and you know, get
• 19:59
  Speaker 4: this a fair bit. When I get offered a new opportunity,
• 20:02
  Speaker 4: I'm like, I've never done this before. Oh my gosh,
• 20:04
  Speaker 4: it's going to be so hard. And that is that
• 20:06
  Speaker 4: effort will not betray you. And if you are putting in,
• 20:09
  Speaker 4: that effort is never going to betray you. You are
• 20:12
  Speaker 4: always in the right room. And I think that that
• 20:14
  Speaker 4: is a really important piece of it, because if you're putting.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: In the effort, I'm sorry, you're not in the wrong room.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: That's why you're there.
• 20:21
  Speaker 4: Whereas you know, some people do experience a bit of
• 20:24
  Speaker 4: imposter syndrome, and have spoken to them before and this
• 20:27
  Speaker 4: is probably you know, less sexy. It's because they're not
• 20:30
  Speaker 4: trying hard enough and they're not actually doing the job
• 20:33
  Speaker 4: there therefore, and that's where it becomes not a surprise
• 20:35
  Speaker 4: to them when they do end up, you know, maybe
• 20:37
  Speaker 4: losing that job because they're not putting in that time
• 20:39
  Speaker 4: and that effort. But the things that make good employees
• 20:42
  Speaker 4: have nothing to do with intelligence and everything to do
• 20:45
  Speaker 4: with the tenacity and the energy and the person that
• 20:48
  Speaker 4: they bring to work every day. It's nothing to do
• 20:50
  Speaker 4: with am I smart enough? Do I have enough degrees?
• 20:53
  Speaker 4: No one cares about that. And I think with that,
• 20:55
  Speaker 4: let's take a really short break because we are deep
• 20:57
  Speaker 4: in conversation and I know we'll get back into more
• 21:00
  Speaker 4: deep conversation. So let's continue this conversation after a quick break.
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: Don't go anywhere, alrighty bass?
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: So how do we go about combating imposter syndrome?
• 21:18
  Speaker 4: So first things first, I think the important thing is
• 21:21
  Speaker 4: to surround yourself with people you love and care about.
• 21:24
  Speaker 4: Build a community of people who support you both professionally
• 21:27
  Speaker 4: and personally. And I am genuinely so grateful to have
• 21:31
  Speaker 4: so many beautiful people who support me in my personal life.
• 21:34
  Speaker 4: But on top of that, I also have a group
• 21:36
  Speaker 4: of women who I think is kind of like my
• 21:38
  Speaker 4: business mates. And I'm actually excited because I'm going off.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: To lunch with them I love.
• 21:42
  Speaker 4: I know, I know you're also fancy, no, but they're not.
• 21:46
  Speaker 4: And it's funny because you know, you've only been here
• 21:49
  Speaker 4: a month, so you haven't met them, but they're all
• 21:50
  Speaker 4: exactly like me. And when you break down other people,
• 21:54
  Speaker 4: you're like, oh, you look really joiny on Instagram, but
• 21:56
  Speaker 4: you're actually just the type of gal who stuffs the
• 21:58
  Speaker 4: whole profferal in her mouth.
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: I love that, and that's why I want to meet them.
• 22:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Like they're my people, Like I love them, and
• 22:05
  Speaker 4: we rally around each other and we really build each
• 22:08
  Speaker 4: other up and encourage each other to take risks. So
• 22:10
  Speaker 4: find your people and love them hard. And if you
• 22:12
  Speaker 4: can't find those people they chose on the money community
• 22:15
  Speaker 4: is here to do that for you. But finding those
• 22:17
  Speaker 4: people also helps you realize that other people who you
• 22:20
  Speaker 4: think of is really confident and successful and shiny just
• 22:24
  Speaker 4: really feel exactly the same way. It's funny how often
• 22:27
  Speaker 4: imposter syndrome comes up as an underlying theme in the
• 22:30
  Speaker 4: conversations that I have with these women who own businesses
• 22:33
  Speaker 4: and successful ones. And you know, one of them's been
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: on the front of the AFR.
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: Magazine and you just go, what do you mean? You're
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: not good enough?
• 22:40
  Speaker 4: It just baffles me that these incredible people still harbor
• 22:44
  Speaker 4: so much self doubt. And so I think it's really
• 22:46
  Speaker 4: important to remember that doesn't matter how high you climb,
• 22:49
  Speaker 4: you still feel like a fraud and it's not good
• 22:52
  Speaker 4: and it's not just you and your grad role, it's
• 22:55
  Speaker 4: not just you in your career. It's not because you
• 22:57
  Speaker 4: went on matt leave and you've come back. It's none
• 22:59
  Speaker 4: of those things. That is an underlying piece of self
• 23:02
  Speaker 4: belief that you actually need to change the narrative around,
• 23:04
  Speaker 4: and you're going to experience it consistently until you decide
• 23:08
  Speaker 4: to change your mindset because no one else can change.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: That for you.
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: Isn't there something called like a rival fallacy or something
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: like that? Away I feel fellos I think so it's
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: like you think, when you get this big job, that
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: you'll finally be happy, that you'll set yeah, that you'll
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: finally feel that confidence. But the fallacy is that you
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: don't feel that way. You feel exactly the same, which
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: is why we need to change our mindsets right.
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: Exactly what Georgia said, Because we're basically sitting here gaslighting
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: ourselves into thinking that we aren't good enough to be
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: where we are or be where we want to be.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: Why will we gaslight ourselves? Exactly? Yeah, let's not do
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: that anymore.
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: Exactly. So the end of the podcast, let's.
• 23:46
  Speaker 4: Sep Well, I've still got some tips, and the next
• 23:49
  Speaker 4: one is say yes, to stop holding yourself back. When
• 23:52
  Speaker 4: we say no to opportunities because we're afraid of failure
• 23:55
  Speaker 4: or because we don't think that we qualified enough for
• 23:57
  Speaker 4: the role, we are immediately shutting ourselves off from any form.
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: Of growth that we could achieve.
• 24:02
  Speaker 4: And it's common to not only think the worst possible
• 24:05
  Speaker 4: outcomes in these situations, but let's start focusing on what
• 24:08
  Speaker 4: could happen instead of what could go wrong. And that's
• 24:11
  Speaker 4: kind of the quote that you know I have. I
• 24:13
  Speaker 4: think it's on my phone. I screenshot it sometimes to
• 24:15
  Speaker 4: remind myself when I say it on Instagram and it's like, well,
• 24:17
  Speaker 4: what if I fail?
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: And it's like, yes, but what if you fly?
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: I was literally about to say, really, I see it.
• 24:24
  Speaker 4: And I always screenshot things I want to remember, and
• 24:26
  Speaker 4: that's why I have like three thousand screenshots on my
• 24:28
  Speaker 4: phone that I actually never.
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: Look at all the time. It makes you feel like
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: you're like really taking anything.
• 24:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you've do you think there's some kind of app
• 24:37
  Speaker 4: I could get that could just delete my screenshots for
• 24:40
  Speaker 4: me when I take them and they're useless.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, just like a two month thing.
• 24:45
  Speaker 4: And it's like, yep, she never came back and looked
• 24:47
  Speaker 4: at that, so it's gone.
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: You just lost it. The It's fine.
• 24:50
  Speaker 4: The next thing I want literally everybody in our community
• 24:53
  Speaker 4: to do is cut out any form of negative language
• 24:55
  Speaker 4: that we use to describe ourselves and alter the stories
• 24:58
  Speaker 4: that we tell ourselves. As I was saying earlier, G
• 25:01
  Speaker 4: and T.
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: Saggy and tasty, so cute. These tasty ladies are coming
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: right up.
• 25:09
  Speaker 4: But as I said to you guys earlier, the stories
• 25:11
  Speaker 4: we tell ourselves are a massive part of imposter syndrome
• 25:14
  Speaker 4: and why it exists.
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: So let's just stop.
• 25:16
  Speaker 4: And ask ourselves if we know that is factually true.
• 25:20
  Speaker 4: I mean, taking on feedback.
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: Is really important.
• 25:22
  Speaker 4: It's not to say that we should just stop accepting
• 25:24
  Speaker 4: any level of negative feedback because that can help us grow.
• 25:27
  Speaker 4: But what we're telling ourselves is that true and correct,
• 25:30
  Speaker 4: and let's go from there. We need to just be
• 25:32
  Speaker 4: kinder to ourselves and our bodies and the people that
• 25:35
  Speaker 4: are around us. And something I found to be really
• 25:38
  Speaker 4: helpful is actually to just use kinder language in general,
• 25:41
  Speaker 4: because often it's really hard to start with ourselves. So
• 25:44
  Speaker 4: start with the people that surround you, whether that is
• 25:46
  Speaker 4: your friends or your family, or even just leaving really
• 25:49
  Speaker 4: kind comments on people's posts on Instagram. That starts to
• 25:52
  Speaker 4: become a part of your everyday language. You can set
• 25:55
  Speaker 4: a habit, you can set a trait. I say it
• 25:57
  Speaker 4: all the time. Oh my gosh, I'm so kind to myself.
• 25:59
  Speaker 4: I'm so kind to others. I didn't always talk about kindness,
• 26:02
  Speaker 4: But I think the more you talk about it extrovertedly,
• 26:05
  Speaker 4: the more it actually starts to internally become a part
• 26:08
  Speaker 4: of your internal dialogue and monologue. And I think that
• 26:11
  Speaker 4: that's really important as well. So the biggest tip there
• 26:13
  Speaker 4: would be start showering it on other people because once
• 26:16
  Speaker 4: you do that, it starts to internalize, right, It starts
• 26:20
  Speaker 4: to soak in, and that's when you can start growing.
• 26:23
  Speaker 4: And then the last thing here, gee is keep a
• 26:26
  Speaker 4: list on your phone of everything you've achieved and the
• 26:28
  Speaker 4: positive things people have said about you, all good reviews
• 26:31
  Speaker 4: from your podcast, because so.
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: Easily leave a good review.
• 26:35
  Speaker 4: Yeahs, so easily, Like it's easy to forget that one
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: way people, But two, it's easy to forget all the
• 26:41
  Speaker 4: good reviews when you read one negative one calling you
• 26:44
  Speaker 4: out for something that you never believed you were.
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, wow, they think I'm that.
• 26:48
  Speaker 4: Oh that's awful, Like that's horrendous, Like that makes me
• 26:51
  Speaker 4: feel sick, Whereas I don't spend nearly the same amount
• 26:55
  Speaker 4: of time ruminating over someone who says us my faith podcast.
• 26:58
  Speaker 4: That's such a beautiful comment. But I go, oh, cool,
• 27:00
  Speaker 4: and then I move on.
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: What Victoria, We had this conversation when I've started on
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: the podcast, Yeah, which was like a year and a
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: half ago. Those reviews were devastating, they.
• 27:13
  Speaker 4: Were, and I told you not to read them, and
• 27:14
  Speaker 4: you kept reading them.
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: You never listen, it's so hard not to and you
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: you only focus on the negative things that people say.
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: And that's exactly what you said, was like, gee, but
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: we're getting so much positive feedback and all of this,
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: but it.
• 27:27
  Speaker 4: Takes one rotten egg to spoil the patter.
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I read a really cool quote. It was actually
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: another meme that I screenshotted and able to find if
• 27:35
  Speaker 3: I looked for it right now.
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: Fair, And it said, don't accept criticism from somebody you
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: wouldn't ask advice from. Yeah, Oh, I love so like
• 27:45
  Speaker 3: if this random person on the internet meet lover sixty
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: nine or whatever.
• 27:50
  Speaker 4: No, it's not, it's great, that's great. Is that your
• 27:53
  Speaker 4: fake us probably you.
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: See that it's me. But if you see them saying
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: like oh victorious rude and I hate her hair or something,
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: not true.
• 28:04
  Speaker 4: I didn't actually ask you meet lover sixty n exactly.
• 28:07
  Speaker 4: I don't remember asking for your opinion, and.
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: You're not going to call up meat Lover sixty nine
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: and be like, hey, what do you think about this?
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: Or like do you think you need me on this?
• 28:16
  Speaker 4: Like but also also I couldn't call that person because
• 28:20
  Speaker 4: they're anonymous and they are choosing not to put their
• 28:22
  Speaker 4: real name against their feedback because they don't have the
• 28:24
  Speaker 4: guts to do that, which is horrendous. And I think
• 28:26
  Speaker 4: it's funny because I've seen people before leave negative feedback
• 28:30
  Speaker 4: or message our Facebook group and I remember one time
• 28:33
  Speaker 4: we did a Q and A on that on our
• 28:37
  Speaker 4: stories on Instagram and we said, you know, we'll share
• 28:40
  Speaker 4: your posts anonymously, and so someone took it as this
• 28:44
  Speaker 4: is anonymous, and so obviously I could see who had
• 28:47
  Speaker 4: messaged us, and I was like, wow, okay, so like
• 28:50
  Speaker 4: I obviously replied, I didn't post it publicly, and I
• 28:52
  Speaker 4: just said, hey, like I'm so sorry that that's your experience,
• 28:55
  Speaker 4: Like I don't know where this is coming from And
• 28:56
  Speaker 4: they replied immediately like how did you work out who
• 28:59
  Speaker 4: sent that? And I was like, well, it wasn't anonymous.
• 29:01
  Speaker 4: It was going to be posted anonymous. Like I would
• 29:03
  Speaker 4: never out you to the community and out you to
• 29:05
  Speaker 4: other people. I just wanted people to have a safe
• 29:07
  Speaker 4: space to ask some questions and see what's going on.
• 29:11
  Speaker 4: And they were like, oh my god, I'm so sorry. Wait,
• 29:14
  Speaker 4: you're sorry because I now know who you are you're
• 29:16
  Speaker 4: providing that feedback, or you're sorry that you said it, Like,
• 29:19
  Speaker 4: in which case, why did you think that typing that
• 29:21
  Speaker 4: literal essay out was realistic to begin with?
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: And it's really.
• 29:26
  Speaker 4: Interesting because these people do tend to be keyboard warriors
• 29:29
  Speaker 4: who just genuinely don't like to see you being successful.
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: And then you click on their profile and they've got
• 29:35
  Speaker 3: two daughters or something, and you go, oh wow, imagine
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: if you're going to put themselves out online, you know,
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: they were trying to be a creator or whatever and
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: someone wrote that, you would be so angry. You'd be like, hey,
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: that's my daughter. You can't write that. I'm like, but
• 29:49
  Speaker 3: you're perpetuating this horrible cycle ananimity online where you're allowed
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: to just have a go at someone.
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: Internet's weird.
• 29:57
  Speaker 4: Yes, the Internet is such a weird place to be,
• 30:00
  Speaker 4: and it's kind of like the way people expect you
• 30:03
  Speaker 4: to use Like, for example, we're still talking about Instagram.
• 30:06
  Speaker 4: I see Instagram kind of like my house, right, Like
• 30:08
  Speaker 4: I have decorated my Instagram and my house in the
• 30:12
  Speaker 4: way I want like it, And you wouldn't come into
• 30:14
  Speaker 4: my house Tony and be like that art works horrible.
• 30:16
  Speaker 4: I cannot believe you have those books. Why why haven't
• 30:19
  Speaker 4: you got more books on color and art and this
• 30:22
  Speaker 4: and that? Whereas people seem to come on Instagram sometime
• 30:25
  Speaker 4: and they're like, why haven't you got more posts on
• 30:26
  Speaker 4: this or that? And it's like, don't come into my
• 30:29
  Speaker 4: house and tell me what I need to decorate.
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: It with or what I should be doing.
• 30:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and scream at me like, you chose to come here,
• 30:35
  Speaker 4: you chose to follow me.
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: You don't have to. It's actually a choice, So don't
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: do it.
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 30:40
  Speaker 4: And I think it's just really interesting that so many
• 30:43
  Speaker 4: people have this audacity, but they're not willing to back
• 30:46
  Speaker 4: it up. And often when you start to look into it,
• 30:49
  Speaker 4: the things people say about you are not a reflection
• 30:53
  Speaker 4: of you. They are a reflection of their insecurities, and
• 30:56
  Speaker 4: when you start to look deeply into it, it's definitely
• 30:59
  Speaker 4: not about It was actually about you, and it was
• 31:01
  Speaker 4: about that, you know, their two daughters and the things
• 31:04
  Speaker 4: that they're struggling with that it's often people projecting their
• 31:07
  Speaker 4: fears and their failure is onto you, and it's so
• 31:09
  Speaker 4: important to remember that. And I know this is meant
• 31:11
  Speaker 4: to be about imposter syndrome, but a lot of people
• 31:14
  Speaker 4: who suffer incredibly severely with imposter syndrome also deflect onto
• 31:20
  Speaker 4: other people their issues like I'm not successful enough.
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: To be here, or I'm not you know this, that
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: or the other.
• 31:26
  Speaker 4: So then they're upset when other people seem to be
• 31:28
  Speaker 4: achieving the things they think they're deserving of, which is
• 31:31
  Speaker 4: you know, it's really sad, and we live in a
• 31:32
  Speaker 4: world where our success should not be detrimental to somebody else's.
• 31:37
  Speaker 4: And Ryan John who's a producer of this show, and
• 31:40
  Speaker 4: you guys would have heard him on our pods before,
• 31:43
  Speaker 4: but he has this quote that I think is really
• 31:44
  Speaker 4: beautiful and probably a really great place to end this conversation.
• 31:48
  Speaker 4: But a rising tide lifts aulships. Oh, it's cute isn't it?
• 31:52
  Speaker 4: And he actually uses it all the time when talking
• 31:54
  Speaker 4: about community or what we should do or you know,
• 31:57
  Speaker 4: who we should share things with. He's like, no, there's
• 31:59
  Speaker 4: no such thing as gone like arising ties.
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: This whole ship's victoria.
• 32:02
  Speaker 4: And I'm like, oh, I've never heard that before, but
• 32:04
  Speaker 4: it's really true, and like we are all going to
• 32:06
  Speaker 4: be higher because arising tide.
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: It's all ships.
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: He's such a good egg.
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: He's a good egg. He's a good egg. We are
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: lucky to have him.
• 32:16
  Speaker 4: Okay, I think that that is a nice little empowering
• 32:19
  Speaker 4: place to leave.
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: It all, my friends.
• 32:21
  Speaker 4: So just before we head off, we'd like to acknowledge
• 32:24
  Speaker 4: and pay respect to Australia's Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people's,
• 32:28
  Speaker 4: the traditional custodians of the lands, the waterways and the
• 32:31
  Speaker 4: skies are all across Australia. We thank you for sharing
• 32:34
  Speaker 4: and for caring for the land on which we are
• 32:36
  Speaker 4: able to learn. We pay respects to elders past and present,
• 32:39
  Speaker 4: and we share our friendship and our kindness.
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: The advice shared on She's on the Money is general
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: is on the money exists purely for educational purposes and
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: should not be relied upon to make an investment or
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: a financial decision. And we promise Victoria Divine is not
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: an impostor. She is an author. Guy's legit and she
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: needs to believe it. Victoria Devine is an authorized representative
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: of Australia Civic Funds Management Proprior.
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: Pitty Little Pity, Little Pity.
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: Litted a BN three four one three two four six
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: three two five seven AFSL three three nine one five
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: one And with that I believe we will see you
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: next week.
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: Guys by friends, have a good week.