Latest / Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage / Round of 32 Recap

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Round of 32 Recap · Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage

• 0:00
  Oh, God. Oh, my God.
• 0:12
  Also, they're great for lunch because they won't they don't advertise this,
• 0:15
  but you can just get a half sandwich on the side for like 12 bucks.
• 0:19
  What do I do for the rest of my lunch, then?
• 0:22
  I mean, or you can just get the full sandwich.
• 0:25
  But that's like $18.
• 0:27
  Gee, really sell me on going to Alehouse.
• 0:29
  Yeah, all right.
• 0:30
  Fair enough. We're going to get Alehouse as a sponsor.
• 0:34
  Then they're going to listen to this episode.
• 0:35
  Yeah. Pull it. Yep.
• 0:36
  Exactly. No one listens to the recap episodes.
• 0:38
  We're fine.
• 0:40
  Say whatever the fuck you go on tonight.
• 0:42
  Did we cross 600?
• 0:44
  No, 599.
• 0:46
  I was like, I should just have Rachel listen to it.
• 0:48
  And then that's that's inauthentic. Cheating.
• 0:50
  Yeah, I'm really mad about it.
• 0:52
  Oh, do you still have the photo of the wild poop knife you found?
• 0:56
  Yeah, I found a poop knife.
• 0:58
  Oh, somebody's going to be really sad. They lost that.
• 1:00
  No, no, it was in a bathroom still.
• 1:02
  It was like conveniently placed there.
• 1:04
  Oh, you mean you didn't take it?
• 1:06
  It might did not.
• 1:09
  I mean, it was basically just a butter knife that has been used to chop up poop.
• 1:12
  So you assume why else would that knife be in the bathroom?
• 1:16
  So seems reasonable.
• 1:17
  I'm actually surprised.
• 1:18
  I thought you were going to speak of like a commercial or rest area
• 1:21
  kind of restroom. Oh, yeah.
• 1:23
  No, this is a private residence.
• 1:25
  Yeah, this was a.
• 1:25
  That's someone's private poop knife.
• 1:27
  Well, I hope you didn't use it.
• 1:28
  No, no, I would never deign to use someone else's poop knife.
• 1:32
  Violate the sanctity of a poop knife.
• 1:34
  Yeah, man.
• 1:34
  Or Adam responded to this thread with what is dot dot dot a poop knife.
• 1:40
  I can't believe he didn't know.
• 1:41
  I responded, it's the knife you use to make a hearty poop smaller.
• 1:45
  What so it can be flushed.
• 1:46
  I am reticent to use the word bite sized, but this is the shitty
• 1:50
  pun intended language we have.
• 1:51
  Mm hmm.
• 1:53
  To which Peter responded, you fuck you, Sean.
• 1:56
  Yep. Well, hey, welcome to end of season.
• 2:01
  I don't know this season.
• 2:03
  Two part one. Yeah.
• 2:04
  The round of 32, the one that we didn't give a good name to the dirty spew.
• 2:08
  There you go.
• 2:09
  Also, yeah, basically, we're at our two year anniversary.
• 2:12
  So congrats to that.
• 2:13
  Yeah. What's the two?
• 2:14
  What's the second year anniversary?
• 2:17
  Weather.
• 2:18
  Each year.
• 2:20
  It's I'll be right back, guys.
• 2:21
  One second.
• 2:22
  There is low key excellent film
• 2:27
  Speed Racer, the Wachowski Speed Racer.
• 2:29
  I still haven't seen it.
• 2:29
  It's a lot of fun.
• 2:31
  But Racer X is full like tip to toe leather body suit.
• 2:37
  And I don't know if they just have him, Mike, or if the boom
• 2:40
  Mike's way too close, but whenever he moves, it's
• 2:42
  we are. I'm sure they did that on purpose.
• 2:46
  Yeah. Sound guy.
• 2:48
  I mean, they can edit that stuff out.
• 2:49
  They did not. Yeah. Perfect.
• 2:51
  I like that somebody probably had to do like actual mic recording
• 2:55
  for that suit in a soundstage somewhere.
• 2:58
  That makes me happy.
• 3:00
  Who was I talking to the other day about like the art of Foley?
• 3:03
  I was talking to someone about like Foley looking how much fun that must be.
• 3:06
  If it was you hit us up on Twitter.
• 3:08
  Yeah. Fucking let me know, because my fucking brain's going in.
• 3:11
  This is going to annoy me.
• 3:13
  We're crushing this episode so far.
• 3:16
  That's nice. A little dip your toes in warm.
• 3:18
  Oh, yeah.
• 3:19
  You're the only one with an agenda for this.
• 3:21
  I just brought alcohol and cupcakes.
• 3:23
  Yeah. I mean, that's a pretty good, pretty good bring.
• 3:25
  I provided the house.
• 3:27
  Welcome back to Caged Magic.
• 3:28
  Go on around about what we need.
• 3:29
  Nicholas Cage.
• 3:31
  I'm your host, Sean.
• 3:32
  You're with my co-host, Nick and Nick and our producer.
• 3:36
  Peter. Hello.
• 3:38
  I like that this is the sexy episode.
• 3:40
  Is it? I was going for more depressed.
• 3:42
  Well, it could be that is actually the sexiest thing you've ever done.
• 3:47
  Fucking you know what?
• 3:49
  Can we get my ex wife on this podcast again?
• 3:51
  They will probably agree with you.
• 3:53
  You know. Yeah.
• 3:54
  So speaking of depressing stats,
• 3:56
  we have watched now seven days, 20 hours and 30 minutes of Nick Cage movies.
• 4:01
  I want this final number on my fucking tombstone.
• 4:04
  Yeah. Just that should be your tattoo.
• 4:06
  We also have now.
• 4:07
  Fucking maybe. Yeah.
• 4:08
  I just put the final number.
• 4:10
  There you go.
• 4:11
  We also have now produced two days, five hours and 11 minutes of content.
• 4:15
  That's less than counting than how much Nick Cage we've watched.
• 4:17
  It is less impressive, but it's still a large amount of time
• 4:21
  that we have spent doing this.
• 4:23
  Oh, God, there's a metric for how much time we spend together.
• 4:26
  Practically a minimum.
• 4:27
  I have more because I look at your faces a lot, too.
• 4:30
  That's a treat for you, though.
• 4:32
  Did you bring your wig?
• 4:33
  I'm going to say yes. Good.
• 4:35
  Did you bring your gavel?
• 4:37
  Yes. Excellent.
• 4:39
  Everything is going to plan.
• 4:42
  So we are wrapping up
• 4:44
  our second round of 32 watches.
• 4:48
  So our second time around with most of these films, half these films,
• 4:52
  because that's how brackets work.
• 4:54
  Yeah. Uh huh.
• 4:55
  What did you think of this round, Nick?
• 4:57
  I you know, I this one had like some slow points
• 5:01
  because there were just some wieners that got into the winners.
• 5:04
  But we'll get into that.
• 5:05
  I was looking at the list today and I'm like, oh, man.
• 5:08
  Actually, we could start. Let's do wieners and winners.
• 5:11
  OK.
• 5:11
  Um, you know, I still am not a huge fan
• 5:16
  of mom and dad.
• 5:18
  That's a wiener to me.
• 5:20
  Totally not even like a cool hot dog wiener.
• 5:23
  No, that one.
• 5:23
  Now, yeah, that one's like rolled out of the bag onto like the floor
• 5:27
  and like the dog got it.
• 5:28
  Yeah.
• 5:29
  A little bit of hair before it went on the rollers.
• 5:32
  Cruells.
• 5:33
  So it baked in.
• 5:35
  Yeah. OK. I mean, that's a fair one.
• 5:37
  I think one that's kind of a wiener for me, as much as I like
• 5:40
  to find interesting aspects to it is Peggy Sue got married.
• 5:44
  Like I just I can't get into that movie that much.
• 5:47
  Yeah, it's I mean, it's fine.
• 5:52
  It's fine if you're just going to watch a romantic comedy,
• 5:55
  but a romantic comedy with Nicolas Cage in it is not.
• 5:59
  The best, though.
• 6:00
  Rosie Perez is fine.
• 6:03
  She's you're thinking of a different movie.
• 6:06
  Oh, yeah, no.
• 6:07
  I'm going to be.
• 6:09
  Yeah. Oh, man. Fuck that movie.
• 6:10
  You can also call it a wiener if you want.
• 6:12
  It's a wiener. It didn't make it this far, though, did it?
• 6:14
  It made it. Yeah. I made it this far.
• 6:16
  Yeah. It's lost to Army of One.
• 6:18
  Oh, thank God.
• 6:19
  Hey, let's talk about a winner for a second.
• 6:22
  Man is the fucking love army of one underdog story right there.
• 6:27
  It's going to keep going.
• 6:28
  An underdog at this.
• 6:28
  I mean, it is technically our only remaining 16 seed, but
• 6:33
  I forgot when that it was a 16.
• 6:36
  Yeah, it's a it fucking rules.
• 6:37
  I love that movie. It's so stupid.
• 6:40
  I was going to say in terms of the wiener category,
• 6:44
  the one matchup that I'm just like, this is
• 6:47
  there's a lot of stuff to like not be excited about here.
• 6:51
  Eight millimeter versus Captain Kareli.
• 6:53
  That episode turned out pretty well.
• 6:54
  It's a great episode.
• 6:56
  But that is like I was looking like, how did these two movies get through?
• 6:59
  And then I looked at what they went up against originally,
• 7:00
  which was Bad Lieutenant, Port of Call, New Orleans and Lord of War.
• 7:05
  Yeah, which makes sense.
• 7:06
  Are much worse films.
• 7:08
  I like eight millimeter.
• 7:09
  I'm going to stick to that one.
• 7:11
  Oh, I still I'm not saying I don't like it.
• 7:12
  I like it. It's just of everything we've seen.
• 7:15
  I'm like, this is this is an odd one to go back to time and again.
• 7:20
  Oh, I was wrong.
• 7:21
  There's one more 16 seed that made it through with her man.
• 7:24
  Yeah, I was going to say, how did that escape the bottom of the tier?
• 7:28
  That is that is a that is a healthy wiener.
• 7:31
  That is a winner.
• 7:33
  Yeah, right. That's a wiener that I want.
• 7:39
  Yeah, I'm I'm totally OK with fully engaging with that wiener.
• 7:47
  But controversially, I'm still going to say I'm not super into
• 7:52
  National Treasure.
• 7:53
  It's not that controversial.
• 7:54
  It's a long movie.
• 7:55
  I think it's a fun movie, but I'm with you.
• 7:58
  It's it's I'm still thinking Primal
• 8:00
  Primal. I love Primal.
• 8:03
  I watch Primal.
• 8:04
  I mean, at some point, I have to actually rewatch that, but I just don't.
• 8:08
  And watch it at normal speed like a fucking person.
• 8:11
  First time. Yeah, do it again.
• 8:13
  No, it'll be better.
• 8:15
  I think it might actually be better to speed.
• 8:17
  Yeah, no, I've got it on Blu Ray and you can watch it with me.
• 8:20
  OK, that's like, watch it with just as good as two times speed.
• 8:24
  I was looking at the match up with that National Treasure
• 8:26
  because that's in the next round because that went up against the rock.
• 8:30
  And I still stand by that National Treasure, the better Nicholas Cage film.
• 8:33
  Yeah, I hate to agree.
• 8:35
  Like it on principle, but National Treasure goes up against Red Rock West next.
• 8:39
  So from.
• 8:41
  Yeah, yeah.
• 8:44
  Not to call our shots too far in advance, but sorry, National Treasure.
• 8:49
  I guess that all depends on how the episode shakes out.
• 8:52
  That's a very good point.
• 8:53
  We may be swayed.
• 8:54
  Yeah.
• 8:55
  Any other winners that really stood out?
• 8:58
  I don't have the list.
• 8:59
  I was a wiener for sure.
• 9:01
  I still have like fondness for that movie.
• 9:04
  It's stupid. They slag gold.
• 9:05
  Whatever. Yeah. Oh, that's so weird.
• 9:07
  I love like how did he get that weird
• 9:11
  like plasma torch on a like Hallberg?
• 9:15
  Yeah, I don't know.
• 9:16
  He's a thief. I've seen those before on on Mythbusters.
• 9:19
  You can just find him like easily in an hour.
• 9:23
  People. OK, people generally lock those things up.
• 9:26
  And yeah, you can say he's a thief again, but.
• 9:30
  Like you can't.
• 9:32
  They're not just out.
• 9:34
  Like I couldn't walk onto any construction site and find a plasma torch.
• 9:38
  But thief.
• 9:40
  So what?
• 9:41
  He's got a yellow pages for where to steal things.
• 9:44
  That's how thieves work, right?
• 9:46
  You should know.
• 9:48
  I'm not going to give up all of our secrets to the thief.
• 9:50
  I'm not going to give up all of our secrets to this podcast.
• 9:54
  Having to having to do a another rewatch of Kiss of Death
• 10:00
  because of the stolen episode upsets me. Yeah.
• 10:04
  I enjoyed that movie the first time I watched it because it was a weird little thing,
• 10:07
  like a weird little eccentricity in his career.
• 10:10
  But the more I watch it, the more I hate it.
• 10:12
  I think one thing that stood out for me from season one, which was the round of 64.
• 10:17
  It was all so random.
• 10:19
  Like we watched shit that we would have never watched.
• 10:21
  You know, there's Prisoners of the Ghostland, weird shit
• 10:23
  that just like would never have crossed our paths.
• 10:26
  And with the round of 32, like we didn't get that same experience.
• 10:31
  It was the same shit again.
• 10:33
  And there was like definitely a period at the beginning for me
• 10:36
  where I was surly about watching these again and being like, right.
• 10:40
  The Ghost Rider episodes. Correct.
• 10:42
  It's been a vendetta still slaps. It does. I agree.
• 10:45
  And unfortunately, all Ghost Riders have been eliminated. Yeah. Yeah.
• 10:49
  I was really hoping for a Ghost Rider versus Face Off and Con Air was
• 10:53
  those were hard that they were never going to get past there.
• 10:55
  Yeah, no. And now Face Off goes up against Con Air,
• 10:58
  which will be our first actual episode of the Slick Steen. Yeah.
• 11:03
  Peter, why don't you tell us about what's going to happen in
• 11:07
  the next the Slick Steen?
• 11:10
  We've we've pretty traditionally had just us watching
• 11:12
  or with a guest this last season or the beginning of the season.
• 11:17
  We had a guest for every episode, which was awesome.
• 11:19
  We're going to do two guests per episode, but it will not be contentious
• 11:23
  head to head debate with them talking with each other.
• 11:26
  They will each sort of have their horse
• 11:30
  that they're backing of the two movies and fight for it
• 11:33
  and try and kind of convince Nick and Sean, which movie is better.
• 11:38
  Is this because we're too cheap to buy a fifth microphone?
• 11:41
  Yes. Nice. So, yeah, it'll be it'll be interesting.
• 11:45
  I think it'll be a little bit deeper dive on people who really have
• 11:50
  feelings and thoughts about a specific movie
• 11:54
  and then hopefully getting really to think about it in a different light.
• 11:58
  Because otherwise, we were just watching these movies
• 12:00
  again and again and again and again and going, yeah, Wicker Man.
• 12:04
  What was in that fucking bag? Was it a shark?
• 12:06
  I just want to know. I forgot about the shark bag.
• 12:08
  I do want to know what was the big guy all about?
• 12:11
  I don't know. I mean, was it sexy?
• 12:13
  It was probably sexy.
• 12:15
  He just needs to feel something.
• 12:17
  It's bee stings.
• 12:18
  Oh, man. It's studded for her pleasure.
• 12:24
  Gross. So, yeah, that's the general idea.
• 12:27
  We're going to see if it works. Hopefully, it is a fun time.
• 12:30
  You're going to get eight episodes of it, so let's hope it works.
• 12:33
  Yeah, that's that's the beauty of this listeners.
• 12:36
  The further we get, the less of it there is.
• 12:38
  That's true. We are actually amazing people.
• 12:40
  Amazingly enough, whittling it down and we have 15 episodes to go,
• 12:45
  not counting a couple bonus episodes that are going to come out.
• 12:47
  We've got USS Indianapolis
• 12:49
  Men of Courage that we watched on a lark with my neighbor
• 12:52
  who has a shark and whiskey semi annual, semi annual, biannual.
• 12:56
  I always fuck it up event.
• 12:58
  And we'll be reviewing Long Legs here in the next two weeks or so.
• 13:04
  And at some point, the surfer.
• 13:07
  Oh, yeah. Excited for that one, too.
• 13:09
  That's got a really good reception at Cairns.
• 13:13
  Can. Yeah. Yeah. OK.
• 13:15
  Cairns is a different thing.
• 13:19
  That's the adult film festival.
• 13:21
  Oh, nice.
• 13:22
  Are there any other matchups coming up that you're looking at?
• 13:25
  You're like, that's going to be a hard one.
• 13:29
  Hard and Joe.
• 13:30
  Yeah, hard in a like, this is difficult to watch.
• 13:33
  Or hard to dislike, hard to decide.
• 13:34
  Like you look at that and you just want both to go forward.
• 13:36
  Because for me.
• 13:37
  Vampires Kissing Mandy.
• 13:39
  That's a tough.
• 13:41
  There's going to be a couple that are like definitely good movies
• 13:43
  that I have already formed opinions on and that I'm
• 13:48
  kind of already biased about.
• 13:49
  Yeah, it's almost inevitable at this point, though.
• 13:52
  In terms of a matchup, that's just going to be a fucking hard week.
• 13:57
  Joe versus leaving Las Vegas.
• 13:59
  Yeah, it's going to be some sad boys.
• 14:02
  There will be a sad one.
• 14:03
  Did we decide if we're going to try and watch these together,
• 14:05
  if we can or not?
• 14:07
  I mean, we save that for the elite or the Master Eight.
• 14:09
  We definitely made that assertion about this round
• 14:12
  and we watched like two movies together.
• 14:14
  Yeah. So I've been down to do more watching together.
• 14:17
  We could try like three.
• 14:19
  Yeah, I mean, that's most of it at that point.
• 14:23
  I guess, yeah.
• 14:23
  Percentage wise, I mean, we're doing pretty well.
• 14:26
  So like Red Rock West and Army of One are like the two
• 14:31
  standout like surprises for me.
• 14:34
  I think Joe fits in that for me to as a movie that I didn't know much about
• 14:38
  or anything, certainly never heard of was surprised by how much I liked it
• 14:42
  and thought it was a really great flick.
• 14:43
  Yeah. Mm hmm.
• 14:44
  Like I knew of Joe, but I hadn't seen it.
• 14:47
  God, Captain Carly's mandolin.
• 14:49
  Fuck. So glad that's gone. Yeah.
• 14:52
  All right. No, there are no more Italians in our bracket, right?
• 14:54
  No, I don't think so. Good.
• 14:56
  What about our Patreon?
• 14:58
  Mm hmm. If you're Italian, you have to tell us.
• 15:00
  Yeah. And we'll charge you double.
• 15:05
  You're not supposed to tell them that.
• 15:07
  We'll just do it.
• 15:08
  Nobody looks at their credit card statements. True.
• 15:11
  You can't cancel us. Yeah, exactly.
• 15:14
  Have you been to hump lately?
• 15:16
  I feel like we've talked about this probably on the podcast before.
• 15:19
  Yeah, I still like hump. I'm pro hump. Yeah.
• 15:23
  I think that the big thing is that at one point it was really amateur
• 15:27
  and it was like truly local.
• 15:29
  And I think that it's become more national
• 15:32
  and there's higher production values, which isn't a bad thing,
• 15:36
  but it's lost a little bit of the like voyeuristic.
• 15:39
  Yeah. Pleasure. Exactly. Right.
• 15:41
  Like like you can watch normal porn at home. Yeah.
• 15:45
  But going to a theater
• 15:48
  and watching somebody from the next neighborhood over.
• 15:51
  Right. There's a little different angle to that, right?
• 15:54
  Mm hmm. Is that angle like between the legs right behind the balls?
• 15:57
  Usually, yeah. Classic.
• 16:00
  Neither of you are in the group chat with
• 16:03
  that we recently talked about the
• 16:06
  the guy casting to the TV at the Ale House.
• 16:09
  Are you? No. Oh, yeah.
• 16:11
  So no. Wait, what?
• 16:13
  So one of our friends was at the Ale House and some like,
• 16:19
  I don't know, late age Gen X or
• 16:23
  just casted from his phone up to the TV.
• 16:27
  But he casted like his like photo roll, his camera roll.
• 16:32
  And so for just enough time for people to see up
• 16:36
  on the TV was like shirtless photos of him at the gym.
• 16:41
  Like nice, like just flabby body and all.
• 16:45
  And then also presumably a bunch of photos of his girlfriend
• 16:50
  exposing his like fetish of like schoolgirl shit.
• 16:54
  Why was it? Why was this like, you just not knowing what he's doing?
• 16:58
  Is this just him trying to do a goof?
• 17:01
  Whatever it truly was, he tried to cover by saying
• 17:06
  that he was just exposing the flaw in their TV security.
• 17:12
  So this is not having just passed.
• 17:14
  This is his kink. Yeah, maybe. Maybe.
• 17:17
  Yeah, that actually makes more sense.
• 17:19
  There's some sort of exhibitionism thing going on.
• 17:22
  Humiliation kink. Yeah.
• 17:24
  I fucking hate people.
• 17:27
  I do too, but you know what?
• 17:29
  That's the best part about having them around.
• 17:31
  You get to see all the contemptible shit that they do. Yeah.
• 17:35
  Make up stories for why they do it.
• 17:37
  Tell them on your Nick Cage podcast. Yeah. Exactly.
• 17:42
  I love to low key shame this guy.
• 17:45
  I'm hoping that like through some wild chain of events,
• 17:49
  his buddy that was with him is somehow hears about this podcast
• 17:53
  and then is like, dude, dude, you got called out.
• 17:56
  They're talking about you. They're slandering your good name.
• 17:59
  No, it's just going to make him cum more.
• 18:02
  He loves that shit.
• 18:04
  No one tell that guy about this podcast.
• 18:06
  Unless he really likes Nick Cage
• 18:08
  because we needed one more listen this month.
• 18:09
  Yeah. Or you have a tarp ready.
• 18:14
  If you've got a tarp.
• 18:15
  Strong. Yeah.
• 18:17
  I'll show you the photo home later. OK.
• 18:18
  Oh, nice. We'll put it on the Patreon.
• 18:21
  I show it now. Let's get a good let's get a reaction.
• 18:23
  Maybe we'll know this guy. OK, hold on.
• 18:27
  I mean, yeah, you guys eat at this place.
• 18:28
  You might know.
• 18:29
  I do totally recognize that guy.
• 18:33
  I know that. I mean, I don't know him, but I recognize him too.
• 18:35
  Oh, man. Oh, I was just testing your television security.
• 18:40
  Oh, I saw that guy today.
• 18:44
  Anyone can put up a picture.
• 18:45
  Probably has come stinky fingers.
• 18:48
  Ew.
• 18:51
  I don't like this game anymore.
• 18:52
  No, I love it.
• 18:54
  All right. What's another reason I don't go to that place?
• 18:56
  What? Now? Now it's a reason.
• 18:58
  Fuck you.
• 19:00
  What's a matchup this next round that you guys are really looking forward to?
• 19:04
  I'm really looking forward to Joe.
• 19:07
  No.
• 19:09
  I mean, I'm looking forward to watching Joe, but yeah,
• 19:11
  I'm looking forward to watching Army of One and Moonstruck.
• 19:16
  Moonstruck. Yeah.
• 19:17
  That is just two movies that are going to be fun.
• 19:20
  And I'm going to be walking around saying shit like
• 19:25
  my hair, my bride.
• 19:30
  I'll be at work doing it.
• 19:31
  I'll be bugging telling people about chicken wings and me
• 19:37
  buying toilets made by people who don't have big American dumps.
• 19:42
  Yeah, that's true.
• 19:43
  It's never going to they don't they don't need a knife.
• 19:45
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 19:47
  Callback. Nice. Yeah.
• 19:49
  I'm looking forward to Wicker Man versus Wild at Heart,
• 19:51
  because that's just going to be unhinged.
• 19:52
  Yeah, that is going to be a really weird one.
• 19:54
  Another one that I'm kind of happy about.
• 19:56
  It's really just because I forgot how much I love Raising Arizona,
• 20:00
  but it comes up in my brain a lot now.
• 20:02
  I just haven't watched it since the last time.
• 20:03
  And I'm like excited to watch that in Wicker Man or not Wicker Man.
• 20:06
  That man, the weather man.
• 20:07
  Oh, yeah. Yeah.
• 20:09
  Yeah. This comedy.
• 20:11
  There's it's a wide it's a wide gap in what his comedies are.
• 20:16
  Yeah, he's trapped in paradise.
• 20:18
  Got great, obviously depth.
• 20:22
  Honeymoon in Vegas.
• 20:23
  Amazing. I forgot about Honeymoon.
• 20:25
  I think about skydiving Elvis's all the time now.
• 20:28
  And that guy with the big fucking teeth was his name, like Roy Montana or something.
• 20:34
  Just that that's a movie of just fully deplorable people.
• 20:37
  Like I didn't want anyone in that movie to be happy.
• 20:40
  Yeah, they all kind of suck shit in there.
• 20:41
  Except for Mr. Miyagi.
• 20:43
  Oh, he's cool. Yeah.
• 20:44
  I mean, he's kind of a dick.
• 20:45
  Oh, what about the chieftain?
• 20:48
  Oh, no, the chieftain's cool.
• 20:50
  But Ray Romano's dad.
• 20:52
  Yeah, just in South Pacific.
• 20:56
  Is it Henry Boyle?
• 20:58
  Peter Boyle. Peter Boyle. Yeah.
• 21:00
  Awesome. That was fantastic.
• 21:02
  Oh, I forgot about that.
• 21:04
  I'm excited to watch that movie again.
• 21:07
  I mean, that's on your own time.
• 21:08
  Oh, yeah, of course. That's fine.
• 21:09
  You own it. Yeah.
• 21:13
  I actually think the only other one that I'm like super, super jazzed
• 21:16
  to watch again is the Vampire's Kiss Mandy matchup.
• 21:19
  Yeah. I mean, I'm coming around to Mandy.
• 21:22
  I appreciate it for what it is more.
• 21:24
  So I think watching it a third time and having like more conversation
• 21:28
  about it is going to be pretty cool. Yeah.
• 21:29
  And I fucking will go to the mat for Vampire's Kiss.
• 21:33
  That movie rules.
• 21:34
  That's for me.
• 21:35
  That I think that's the hardest one, because I love both those movies
• 21:37
  for very different reasons. Yeah.
• 21:39
  You can watch Mandy over my place and we'll put on all the like
• 21:44
  drug lights and. Hell, yeah.
• 21:45
  Let's do it. Yeah.
• 21:47
  I want biker drugs. Yeah.
• 21:50
  I want the goop. Weird Satan acid.
• 21:52
  Give me the weird gray Vaseline.
• 21:55
  We might need a palate cleanser after that week.
• 21:57
  Maybe we'll just watch some John dies in the end.
• 22:00
  Yeah, there you go.
• 22:01
  It's similar vibe, but like.
• 22:05
  More fun. At this point,
• 22:10
  I don't think I can watch the core, otherwise the bits over.
• 22:13
  Oh, you'll still love it.
• 22:14
  Doesn't matter. You can pretend that you didn't watch it.
• 22:16
  Yeah, it helps you.
• 22:17
  Well, you'll end up just wanting to watch it again.
• 22:19
  You'll be like, damn, you know, we should watch the core.
• 22:23
  Yeah. Come back for our final episode where we just talk about the core.
• 22:27
  It's got the toot in it. He's got a wig. It's great.
• 22:31
  Is it a wig or a to pay?
• 22:33
  Mm hmm. Toot pay.
• 22:36
  Hmm. That's actually a good question.
• 22:38
  I can't remember if it's one of those things where it like comes off at one point.
• 22:41
  I think it's a wig. Yeah. OK.
• 22:43
  What's the difference between a wig and a to pay?
• 22:45
  I mean, a to pay is just like a portion of a wig. Right.
• 22:49
  Yeah. Kind of like a mercantil, but just for the top of your head.
• 22:53
  Yeah. For the top of your dome.
• 22:56
  You ever see just a really bad, bad wig out in the wild?
• 22:59
  I thought you were going to say mercantil in the wild.
• 23:00
  It's like not often.
• 23:02
  I'm going to bring that back. American. Yeah. Yeah.
• 23:06
  I'm going to start shaving because of the crabs and such.
• 23:08
  Well, that's good.
• 23:09
  And then I'll start wearing a wig above my dick.
• 23:13
  How did they attach it? Spirit come.
• 23:15
  Yeah, I imagine it's some kind of like tree sap.
• 23:19
  Yeah, that seems reasonable.
• 23:20
  That's all spirit.
• 23:21
  It's something something nice to put your genitals. Yeah.
• 23:25
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 23:26
  I mean, that eliminates the need for continued shaving.
• 23:30
  Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Perfect.
• 23:32
  Just rip. That could be my thing, too.
• 23:34
  I don't even know. Maybe just rip my market off.
• 23:37
  Like on the count of three, I'm about to bust.
• 23:41
  I'm about to bust the only way you bust, though, is at the.
• 23:45
  Yeah, the house for sure.
• 23:47
  So we're just going to move that on.
• 23:54
  Yeah, I don't know.
• 23:54
  There's not a ton left to say, I don't think.
• 23:57
  We've got great guests coming up, you know, as usual,
• 24:00
  we kind of have peppered in people that we know the usual idiots.
• 24:03
  Yeah, usual idiots.
• 24:04
  We've got people that are cage adjacent.
• 24:07
  We've got new people.
• 24:08
  OK, on the count of three,
• 24:11
  name the guests you're most excited to have back on one, two, three.
• 24:16
  All of them safe.
• 24:18
  Nice play.
• 24:19
  We did not participate.
• 24:20
  You guys are.
• 24:21
  I was just going to straight up say Darrell.
• 24:23
  Yeah.
• 24:25
  For some reason, I can only think of John because I just talked to John about this.
• 24:28
  John's great.
• 24:30
  Chris Coffle. That'll be fun.
• 24:31
  Yeah, he's coming back.
• 24:32
  Brian Kim McCormick's coming back.
• 24:33
  Oh, great. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
• 24:35
  He was great.
• 24:35
  Yeah. Shea's coming back for our first matchup, actually.
• 24:39
  Yeah, she's going to be fighting hard for Conair, which is fuck.
• 24:42
  Yeah. Oh, yeah.
• 24:42
  Who is our first matchup lineup?
• 24:44
  So we've got face off with Gary and rocks and Conair with Shea.
• 24:48
  Oh, that's a that's a good matchup.
• 24:49
  Yeah, that'll be fun.
• 24:50
  That'll be in one take.
• 24:51
  Yeah, perfect.
• 24:52
  Never fucked that up once.
• 24:54
  Prove me wrong.
• 24:56
  One, two, three, all of them.
• 24:59
  We do still need somebody for
• 25:02
  it looks like
• 25:04
  eight millimeter.
• 25:06
  No, wait, hang on.
• 25:07
  What's Freeman doing?
• 25:08
  No, Brian Kim McCormick's doing that.
• 25:09
  We need someone for.
• 25:12
  Moonstruck.
• 25:12
  No, that's not right either.
• 25:14
  This is terrible audio.
• 25:16
  No, that's Lauren Freeman.
• 25:18
  That'll be fun.
• 25:20
  Lauren and Freeman.
• 25:21
  No, no, I have a friend, Lauren Freeman.
• 25:23
  She's a actor, composer.
• 25:25
  That's something you need to clear with us before you start saying.
• 25:29
  Very confusing for us.
• 25:31
  Like that is a fucking wild matchup, Lauren and Freeman.
• 25:34
  Yeah.
• 25:34
  Two people who are weird.
• 25:36
  Yeah, that would be a strange one.
• 25:39
  We do still need somebody for Joe.
• 25:42
  So if you're listening and you're great at talking about Nick Cage movies
• 25:45
  and you want to give us more money, you want to watch a bummer movie
• 25:49
  that's fantastic and then talk about it in a hardcore way.
• 25:53
  Let us know.
• 25:54
  Send us money and let us know.
• 25:57
  Yeah, all applications will be considered by financial contribution.
• 26:02
  Yeah, it's perfect. It's the best system.
• 26:05
  Works for the Supreme Court.
• 26:06
  Mm hmm.
• 26:08
  Those are gratuities.
• 26:09
  Yeah, right.
• 26:11
  Yeah. You guys have any other thoughts, feelings about the last little leg of this?
• 26:15
  Can't believe it's been two years.
• 26:17
  Yeah, I can't believe we haven't missed a release date.
• 26:21
  I can't believe Primal's not in the bracket anymore.
• 26:24
  I can.
• 26:26
  All right. If you could swap one movie in
• 26:29
  and you have to punt one to what would you put in just a single movie?
• 26:34
  So in your case, I assume I would get rid of it.
• 26:38
  Doesn't have to be in the same bracket.
• 26:40
  Don't worry about that.
• 26:40
  I'm just trying to see like just in the just pick a movie to get rid of altogether.
• 26:46
  I would get rid of eight millimeter and I would put in flesh Gordon.
• 26:49
  It doesn't have Nicholas Cage in it, but it is a sexy reboot of Flash Gordon.
• 26:55
  And there's a deadly orgasm ray that's being shot all over this planet.
• 27:01
  And it's causing like planes to crash because orgies are breaking out.
• 27:05
  And then there's these robots with giant drill penises.
• 27:09
  You should have said better parameters.
• 27:11
  Yeah. So how about you answer the question for real?
• 27:14
  I would get rid of eight millimeter and replace it with adaptation.
• 27:18
  OK, that's fair.
• 27:20
  It's a shame adaptation got knocked out so early.
• 27:23
  Just the father was just going up against a heavy hitter.
• 27:27
  It was. I mean, I'm glad I've come around on Army of One
• 27:30
  and I'm glad it's still in the Bracken House.
• 27:31
  But just eight adaptations. Such a good movie.
• 27:35
  I would scratch eight millimeter and I would put in Valley Girl.
• 27:38
  I love that movie.
• 27:39
  So stupid, so fun, so weird, so early 80s.
• 27:44
  Nick Cage, bad teeth. Charming.
• 27:46
  Weird chest hair. Fantastic.
• 27:49
  It's got that song.
• 27:51
  Yeah. Fucking eaten by the monster of love.
• 27:53
  Hell, yeah, man.
• 27:54
  It's going to be my head all night.
• 27:55
  Thank you. You're welcome. Yeah.
• 27:58
  Wait, is it too late to vote for the guinea pig movie?
• 28:02
  Yes. It's always too late for G4.
• 28:04
  But that boom boom pow.
• 28:05
  No, the children went to bed 20 minutes ago.
• 28:09
  We're not doing that anymore.
• 28:10
  Crudes one in.
• 28:11
  Oh, yeah. Let's watch Crudes one.
• 28:13
  Let's do it right now.
• 28:14
  If we watch Crudes one, we also have to watch
• 28:17
  flesh Gordon afterwards.
• 28:19
  Yeah, good.
• 28:20
  Do you watch flesh Gordon after or before?
• 28:23
  I think before.
• 28:25
  No, after.
• 28:26
  No, I would do it before it,
• 28:27
  because then I need a refractory period.
• 28:29
  So Crudes works nicely.
• 28:32
  It's like no matter what, we're on a list if we do this.
• 28:34
  I feel like I would have checked out, though.
• 28:36
  Like if I was watching.
• 28:38
  Oh, once you. Crudes afterwards.
• 28:40
  Yeah, I'd be like, well, this is this is just crass.
• 28:46
  What's one franchise,
• 28:48
  one movie franchise or movie you wish Nick Cage was a first thing
• 28:51
  that popped into my mind was speed.
• 28:54
  And I think speed three or four or whatever with Nicholas Cage
• 28:59
  is the villain would be super cool.
• 29:00
  That's what's doing a lot of villain stuff.
• 29:02
  What do they got to keep going fast?
• 29:04
  What's fast these days?
• 29:06
  Women? Yeah, fast and loose. Yeah.
• 29:10
  It could be like the speed and Mission Impossible crossover.
• 29:15
  Tom Cruise is in a jet and he has to keep.
• 29:18
  Oh, but wait, what about Keanu?
• 29:21
  He wasn't in the second one, right?
• 29:22
  No. Willem Dafoe was, though.
• 29:24
  He was a bad guy.
• 29:25
  Was he? Yeah.
• 29:27
  Wow. Yeah.
• 29:29
  Oh, maybe RoboCop, too, though.
• 29:32
  Oh, all right.
• 29:32
  But you have to bring back the original cast.
• 29:34
  Peter Weller. Yeah.
• 29:35
  Yeah. Robo on Oreo. Yeah.
• 29:40
  Wait, who would cage be then?
• 29:42
  Probably some like Super Detroit, like politician.
• 29:47
  It was always about the Super Detroit politicians.
• 29:49
  True enough. What would I want to cage in?
• 29:53
  I want him to replace a Rick Moranis and Ghostbusters.
• 29:56
  Oh, you know what he would be? Sorry.
• 29:58
  I just came back to this in the RoboCop world.
• 30:02
  Nicholas Cage's villain would be a union boss
• 30:05
  because in the hyper capitalist, like cyberpunk future of RoboCop,
• 30:10
  unions would be a terrible thing.
• 30:12
  So they would weaponize the police against him, including Robert Copman.
• 30:17
  I do love Robert Copman.
• 30:19
  Yeah. I want this almost as much as I want human centipede for.
• 30:24
  Well, you're making that sound.
• 30:25
  He can be in that, too.
• 30:27
  I won't. I won't bring him down to my level.
• 30:30
  All right. That's fair. That's respectable.
• 30:33
  Peter, I can't think of anything right now.
• 30:36
  Do the bit.
• 30:37
  I want him to be a reboot of Dragonheart.
• 30:41
  Who has the night or the dragon?
• 30:43
  The dragon, obviously.
• 30:44
  Oh, yeah. No, both.
• 30:48
  I take it back.
• 30:49
  Doing a spooky dragon voice for the dragon.
• 30:51
  Yeah. And then the normal night voice.
• 30:54
  Yeah. He needs to do is he needs to do is a Boston cop.
• 30:57
  Boston cop for the dragon.
• 30:59
  Either one. Boston cop for the night.
• 31:01
  Yeah. Boston cop for the night and New Orleans guy for the dragon.
• 31:06
  That's good. Yeah.
• 31:07
  That's really fucking good.
• 31:11
  Yeah, I think we fucking nailed it.
• 31:12
  There we go. So RoboCop, Dragonheart and.
• 31:17
  So what did you say?
• 31:18
  I don't remember.
• 31:19
  Oh, Ghostbusters. He plays.
• 31:21
  He takes he plays a Louis Tully in Ghostbusters.
• 31:27
  Man. All right.
• 31:29
  Join us for our next podcast where we watch all of Will Sasso's filmography.
• 31:34
  Well, no, I like dumb shit.
• 31:38
  I'm not doing that.
• 31:40
  How? OK, just what's a Will Sasso?
• 31:42
  Is that a Paul Blart?
• 31:45
  How many? You're close.
• 31:46
  How many films?
• 31:47
  It was his buddy that gets hit in the shoulder with.
• 31:49
  Not including not including television.
• 31:51
  How many films? Oh, yeah.
• 31:52
  Sasso's in. 17.
• 31:54
  Wait, how many films is Will Sasso in?
• 31:56
  Not yeah, not including television.
• 31:57
  How much do you think Will Sasso's got on the IMDB?
• 32:00
  Uh, 15 Sasso flicks, zero leading roles.
• 32:09
  He's got 143 credits.
• 32:12
  Oh, more than 25 feature films, including Best in Show.
• 32:16
  I didn't know he was in Best in Show.
• 32:18
  What the fuck was he in Best in Show?
• 32:21
  I don't know.
• 32:22
  Well, he's been in more than I would have given him credit for.
• 32:25
  That's fair.
• 32:26
  But less than 10 more than I.
• 32:29
  He has credit for.
• 32:31
  So I was not terribly far off.
• 32:33
  He had an important role in Happy Gilmore as mover
• 32:36
  and in Malicious as fat guy answering phone.
• 32:39
  Love it.
• 32:41
  Well, I don't think we have to worry about Will Sasso coming at us.
• 32:45
  No, sorry, Sasso.
• 32:46
  But if you want, you know, we've got an opening on Joe.
• 32:50
  If you'd like to come talk to us about Joe.
• 32:53
  That might get us a few lessons.
• 32:54
  Oh, he was also in the weird like Doctor Who American pilot
• 32:59
  as like a nurse.
• 33:00
  They tried to they Americanize everything in BBC.
• 33:05
  Yeah, yeah, no, they tried.
• 33:07
  They did an American pilot for Doctor Who.
• 33:10
  It's where the eighth doctor, Paul McGann, is from.
• 33:13
  Like, it's his one time in that role,
• 33:15
  except for something for the 50th anniversary special and Jodie's end.
• 33:19
  But either way, it's shockingly not terrible.
• 33:22
  It's got Eric Roberts as the villain.
• 33:24
  Who's that? Julia Roberts, brother, who also has the most fucking
• 33:29
  acting credits to his name and feature film credits to his name.
• 33:31
  I just learned. Does he have a long face, too?
• 33:33
  Yes. Yeah, he does.
• 33:34
  They look like siblings. You. Yeah.
• 33:37
  Do you think they were kiss?
• 33:39
  Yes. There's no one else.
• 33:41
  Well, that's how they get their powers, man.
• 33:45
  He does have a weird face. He's a pretty weird looking.
• 33:47
  He has like a really wide chin.
• 33:49
  He was also in The Dark Knight. Oh, OK.
• 33:52
  Yeah, he was the bank manager. Yeah.
• 33:54
  You all know him. Yeah.
• 33:57
  Oh, yeah, he has 821 acting credits to his name.
• 34:01
  What the fuck?
• 34:03
  How many of them are fat guy fingering butthole?
• 34:05
  Eight hundred.
• 34:07
  Wow. I mean, the odds are good that it's at least one.
• 34:11
  At least one. Yeah. Well, then that's the franchise.
• 34:13
  I'm certain Nicholas Cage.
• 34:16
  Nicholas Cage.
• 34:20
  Nothing to do with the butthole.
• 34:22
  No, no.
• 34:23
  The kids doesn't seem like a man.
• 34:26
  I take it back. What if we make fun of it?
• 34:29
  But it's actually like a very like touching story about prostate cancer.
• 34:34
  Like he's the doctor who finds and cures prostate cancer.
• 34:37
  But there's only one way he can cure it.
• 34:40
  He's got the touch.
• 34:41
  He's got the power.
• 34:42
  He's got the minus touch for your butthole.
• 34:47
  He's he's he looks like ET all grown up.
• 34:51
  Yeah, Rachel, don't listen to this episode.
• 34:54
  Now I'm just thinking.
• 34:56
  Out.
• 34:59
  Turn your head and cough.
• 35:03
  You can find us on social media, Cage underscore match underscore pod.
• 35:07
  If you feel like supporting us, we are on Patreon Cage Match
• 35:10
  and special thanks to our sparkle buddies Josh, Sean, Josie, Rico,
• 35:13
  Matt, Adam and Bill and to our cage dancers, Ira, John, Freeman, Lance and Nathan.
• 35:18
  I feel the need to point out to our supporters and no takes these backsies.
• 35:22
  You're in it now. Yeah.
• 35:23
  Never cancel.
• 35:26
  I don't care about your financial situations.
• 35:28
  Think about us suffering here.
• 35:31
  Peter has a baby. Yeah.
• 35:32
  Think of me. Oh, look at Mr. Moneybags.
• 35:35
  Two babies.
• 35:37
  Three, if you count me. Yeah, there you go.
• 35:41
  Bye bye.
• 35:51
  There we go.
• 35:52
  Boof. That was a very tough one.
• 35:54
  Yeah, that took some effort.
• 35:56
  Some elbow grease.
• 35:58
  Hmm. Greasy elbow.
• 36:01
  Weeniswa.
• 36:02
  Yeah, that's a tough one.
• 36:04
  Greasy elbow. Weeniswa.
• 36:07
  You. I mean, necessary, but.
• 36:13
  I don't like it.
• 36:16
  I'm going to start calling you soy boy.
• 36:17
  Soy boy.
• 36:18
  Now it has a different connotation, I think.
• 36:22
  I don't know.
• 36:22
  I think I think it's like a woke snowflake.
• 36:25
  Fuck. Cuck.
• 36:27
  I mean, yeah, not super wrong.
• 36:31
  Is it like an opposite twink
• 36:33
  or like, yeah, like
• 36:37
  just an Asian specific twink?
• 36:40
  I don't know.
• 36:41
  That's kind of like that.
• 36:42
  Yeah. Go get my soy boy.
• 36:44
  Yeah. Me and my soy boys be rolling in hard.
• 36:47
  Got an American twink and a soy boy.
• 36:49
  We got that blue chew subscription.
• 36:51
  What's blue chew?
• 36:53
  I don't know, but I keep getting.
• 36:55
  I mean, I can.
• 36:56
  I can infer. I keep getting targeted ads.
• 36:58
  It's the boner pill. Yeah.
• 37:00
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 37:01
  But I guess a chewable one.
• 37:03
  For people who struggle to swallow.