Latest / She Resets: Mindset, Fitness, Confidence / Ep 11: Goal Setting

Transcript

Ep 11: Goal Setting · She Resets: Mindset, Fitness, Confidence

• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, I cannot believe another week has gone past, and it is time to record a new episode of TV Sets.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm excited to do something a little bit different.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know if this is what people do on podcasts, and I don't see why not.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to do something that I've done with members, I've done with clients, that I think might help you make a really decent shift on something that's maybe stopping you, or maybe you don't know how to get started with.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: So what I want to do is talk about a goal.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: A goal that you would like to set for yourself.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: And this goal could be absolutely anything.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't have to be to do with weight loss, it doesn't have to be to do with fitness, it can be anything.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: It can be creating a new habit, it could be doing a specific something for yourself.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: But what we want you to do is take the pressure off.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: We always want everything by yesterday lunchtime, and life just doesn't work like that.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's the world we live in.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: We all want results, we want them snappy, we want them fast.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: But actually, results take time if they're worth having.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: So I am wondering, if you're wondering, why I'm saying 12 weeks.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: Well, 12 weeks is a pretty decent chunk of time to make real plans and get tangible results.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: I think a couple of weeks isn't really enough.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: I think a month goes by and before you know it, you've you know been pulled here, there, and everywhere.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: But I think 12 weeks, that's three months, is a really, really good chunk of time to set yourself a goal and achieve it.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm waffling now, so let me crack on.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: So we need to have a goal.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: You need to state your intention, and then you can really keep it rolling through three months into real results.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: So I'd love for you to have a little think about what you want to achieve in 12 weeks.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: So, like I said a couple of minutes ago, it doesn't have to be a weight loss, it can be a feeling, it can be a habit change, a lifestyle change, it could be you achieving something that you have always thought out of reach.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: It could just be making time for you to do something specific that you would like to do.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: So if you don't have a goal, you've got nothing to work towards.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: You don't know where you're going, you don't know what you're achieving.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: So I want you to have a think about what your goal is, and I want you to write it down somewhere.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to do it just now because you might be listening to this while you're out walking or driving, whatever.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: So have a think about it, and then when you get somewhere where you can make a note, write your goal down.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you're anything like me, you'll forget.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: Because there might be quite a few things that you want to achieve, but I want you to just pick one, okay?
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: So have a little think about it, and when you get to a point where you can, just write it down.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: Use the note section in your phone.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: I find that really handy because I always have my phone with me, it's like an extension of myself.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: So write your goal down, and now that you know what you want, then we can start to look at what it's going to take to get you there.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: So you must have heard of the SMART method to make your goal specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timed.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to, you could use the heart method, which is quite nice.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: Make your goal heartfelt, make it energizing, aligned, relevant, and timed.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: So both of them end with timed, okay?
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: And the time is 12 weeks, okay?
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: So the clock is ticking.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna ask you a few questions to just get you thinking about that goal, okay?
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: So your goal's got to be realistic, it's got to be achievable.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: Because if it's not, you're setting yourself up to fail.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: And then when you don't get there, you'll start that downward spiral of being disappointed with yourself and wishing you'd tried harder and wishing you'd done things differently.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm such a good podcaster, I've just realized that my microphone isn't poked in.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: Just let me do that.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: The volume might change.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: That noise was me pulling my table closer.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, let me know if it makes a difference.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so let's start by helping you to think about what you really want to achieve, okay?
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: And then we're gonna start putting the steps in place over the coming weeks to get you there.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: So you need a goal.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: In NLP, we call it a well-formed outcome because that what that does is it gives you something clear to work towards and it helps you really hone in, pay attention, and focus on what it is that you truly want.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: A well-formed outcome also gets you thinking about the bigger picture and not just the goal itself.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: So it gives you direction, it gives you purpose, which is quite exciting.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: And actually, once you know what a well-come formed outcome is, and once you know the questions to ask yourself, you can apply it to anything, okay?
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: So you can apply it to anything in your life.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: So you've got your goal.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: Now you need to think about the intention behind that goal.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: Is it positive?
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: So on a scale of one to ten, how important is this goal to you?
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because if it's only a two, then you're not going to achieve it.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas if it's a ten, you're way more likely to.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: What will achieving this goal do for you?
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: What are the benefits of achieving this goal?
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: How is it going to change you?
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: Or how is it going to impact the people around you?
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then I want you to start thinking about how you're going to know that you're actually achieving your goal.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: Not achieved, because that's not going to happen for 12 weeks.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: I want to know how you are going to know that you're going to be achieving your goal.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: So, what are the signs?
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: What are the landmarks?
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: What is there to look forward to?
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: When you set out on this journey to achieve your goal in 12 weeks' time, what are you going to be celebrating along the way?
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: Because there absolutely have to be lots of celebrations.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: It keeps your motivation going, it keeps you focused, it keeps you wanting to build and build and build.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: Then you can look to the future and ask yourself, what will be happening to show me that I have achieved my goal?
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: How will I feel?
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: What will I be saying to myself?
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: What will I be saying to other people?
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: What will other people be saying to me?
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: And once you've identified those things, then you can start to visualize yourself having achieved your goal.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: And that is huge.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: If you can visualize yourself doing what you set out to do, achieving what you set out to achieve, then you're way, way more likely to get there.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: Then I want you to think about, and this is a bit of a tricky question, are there any uh problems that are going to arise from you achieving your goal?
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: Are there any situations, any places, any times where achieving this goal could be a problem?
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: Might you have someone in your life who doesn't want you to achieve to achieve this goal?
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: And how are you gonna impact that?
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: What are you gonna do?
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: Because this is your goal, no one else's.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: This is important to you.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: So whether you achieve it or not is is up to nobody else.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: But you might care about the impact having achieved your goal might have on someone else.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you can foresee the problems, then you can put plans in place to ensure that they're not problems.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: You can prepare for them.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: Forewarned is forearmed, I think is the saying.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: Have a think about the consequences of achieving your goal.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: How is it gonna affect the wider system of your life?
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: How might it impact your social life, your work life, your family life?
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: How are you gonna confirm to yourself that this goal is for you and no one else?
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, when other people say something or comment, you can't control their feelings.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: You can accept them, but you can't control them.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: However, this might have a bearing on your success or the degree of your success on achieving this goal that you're gonna set for yourself.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: But then what are the benefits of doing nothing?
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: What are the benefits of not achieving your goal?
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: And which is stronger?
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: And then have a little think about what you need to achieve your goal.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: What have you already got?
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: What skills have you got?
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: What knowledge have you got?
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: What experience have you got that's going to help you achieve your goal?
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: And what do you need?
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: What do you need from yourself?
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: What do you need from other people?
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: And how are you going to get it?
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: So these are all really important questions to ask yourself before you even set out on working towards this goal.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: Because actually, what you think you want by the end of this podcast might be completely different to what you thought you wanted.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: You might have realized that you're in it for the wrong reasons.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: That this goal actually is something you thought you wanted but isn't aligned.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: And your original goal might have been replaced with something else.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: Which is is brilliant.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because then it means that that new goal that you're working towards is true.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: And just to finish today's episode, I'd love you to take a few minutes.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: And again, you can do it in the notes section of your phone, you can do it in a diary, on a piece of paper, the back of a napkin.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: Write a letter from your 12-week future self to your current self.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: It is such a lovely thing to do.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: Sit down and write to yourself as if 12 weeks has gone by and you've achieved what you wanted to achieve.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: Talk about how it feels.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: Talk about what it's done for you, the impact it's had on you and your nearest and dearest.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: Because on the tough days, you can read that and it'll reinforce that deeper motivation and keep you heading towards that goal.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: So when you hear from me next week, it'll be because you've got your goal, you've done all your thinking, you've realized that it's definitely what you want to do, and you will be ready for the first step in working towards and achieving that goal.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: And that's really, really exciting.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: I can't wait for 12 weeks' time.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: I want to hear from you, I want to know what your goal is.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: And then I want you to tell me in 12 weeks that you've achieved it because I know you can do it.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: So goals written down, ready to roll next week, and I'll speak to you then.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: Bye bye.