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How to Stop Feeling Guilty for Resting on Vacation: Self-Acceptance + Letting Go · Powerful Stuff

• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: Hello everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Powerful Stuff.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Guys, I am in Lombok in Indonesia.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: My first time being here.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: I went paragliding yesterday.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: I've done some surfing, some masterminding with friends, and I'm recording on my first ever Osmo little recording device.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's so fun.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's like the little camera follows me wherever I go.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: You can kind of see our unmade bed, you know.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's realness happening in the background, but maybe I will make the bed after this to hashtag win the day.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: And y'all, I was thinking about this funny conundrum that happens when we go on vacation.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I know it's happened for me in the past and is happening for me now because we all have our little monkey minds, and there are actually monkeys here.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Funny side note, um, they actually broke into our villa and they stole some bananas, and then once they figured out how to get into the villa, they were all like back, like, yeah, we had to secure the fort, hide all the food, and then they like pooped on the deck after as maybe maybe a sign of dominance or leaving us a little gift.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: But all of that's to say, I noticed myself in this trip to Lombok.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: You know, our son is being well beyond looked after with Spencer's mom, his grandma, they're like having a little summer camp back in LA.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: But I noticed myself like productizing my week while I was here, like not just like the work stuff that I still had to do while I was in Lombok, but then also like okay, I'm gonna journal and then I'm gonna meditate, and then after I meditate, I'm gonna like reflect on my next steps.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like my mind was like so like wired to be like, what do I do next?
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: That I couldn't even really drop into the being for a few days, which is so funny to admit as a coach and meditation and yoga teacher, right?
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's what I help people do for my living, and here I was being like, need to journal, need to do this, need to do that.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Okay, where is this coming from?
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's a little remnant of little Meredith feeling like she still has to earn her rest.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: And even though this is a breakthrough I've had before, I say the the greatest breakthroughs are our rememberings, they're not some novel peak new experience all the time.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes they are an unsexy, obvious remembering that we need to tell ourselves yet again, and so I was like, wow, this vacation is revealed to me again where I can soften more, where I can surrender more, where I can just allow and I don't need to, I don't need to earn.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: I can just wake up and just be.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, I found myself in this conundrum of um like either or either I'm like maximally relaxing on the trip or I'm not getting the most out of it, right?
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: Being like, yes, I can relax and I can also like take time to sink into it.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I can relax and I can have a little screen time.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's not gonna be the worst, you know.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: I think like even with relax maxing, like we then look to how we're optimizing something as if it's a success versus actually, can I just like chill and being relaxed and going with the flow?
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: Can that be the biggest sign of success?
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: And that might look messy.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: And it's been a big trip of yes and for me because it's the longest we've ever been away from our son, and I found myself really missing him and wanting to see him again, and so it's like this funny conundrum of having so much fun while I'm here, but then also really missing him, and then because it was such a big thing to you know, his Spencer's mom flew in with her friend, and we got our son all set up, and you know, it's like yeah, it's like yes, we can make a big effort to be here, and we don't need to optimize every second that we're here, and we can just allow for like the quiet moments and the nothingness, and we don't have to like really prove that we maxed out every corner of Lombok in order to make it worth it, you know, that we took this time away from our son, and yeah, it's been such a funny remembering for me because I feel like especially with all of my clients, this is something that I deal with all the time of like them feeling like they need to earn rest, we need to like earn our vacation versus like wait, I am just so enough.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: It is crazy how enough I am that I deserve to relax, and my relaxation doesn't have to be like maximal relax or whatever, it can just be what it is.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: And what does it look like to give myself more permission to just like enjoy without any KPI and enjoy without any um you know, need of like proving that I came back with this like profound breakthrough or got the most out of it or whatever.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: And so when I noticed myself doing these things the other day, I was like, okay, little Meredith needs a little reminder.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um I just let myself play boggle on my phone for like an hour because I'm like, okay, this is not um like productive, nor is it like you know, Meredith's and monk mode.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: But I just I'm on vacation.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: I can play boggle for an hour.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like the productivity police aren't gonna come and arrest me, and kind of just letting my mind wander like that and not meaning to um kind of like do more in that moment actually started to soften my grip, and it actually started to allow me to sink into the vacation more of just kind of the slowness, the going with the the energy of the group, the energy of what I needed.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's also a good reminder too when you come with a group, it's like you're gonna have moments of coming together and moments of needing to do your own thing, needing to reset, needing to take care of your inner world.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm like, wow, what a spiritual experience that boggle was.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you have an adjacent, you know, where you're like, okay, I'm just gonna allow myself to indulge in this, and it doesn't need to come because I did a certain thing or achieved a certain goal, but I can just allow myself to be.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: And when I did that, I yeah, found myself starting to just like slow down, which is kind of like why I wanted to come here in the first place, is like slowing down, resetting a new perspective, and maybe the new perspective, like I said, isn't some profound breakthrough, but it's just like I deserve to relax, I can play games when I want to.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: I don't need to like earn every second of rest, and every second of rest doesn't need to be like um optimized for like max rest.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um and yeah, I feel like that's been my kind of using of this trip, and I think also the the less grip we we hold on to something needing to be a certain way, and the more we like soften and the more we allow.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um, one of my friends um gave me this analogy that I love, which I've said on powerful stuff many times, is that then the instead of like chasing a butterfly, for example, chasing the beauty, chasing the whatever it might be, it ends up flying away when we chase it.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: If we kind of just loosen our grip, water our garden, and trust the butterfly, what does it do?
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: It ends up landing on one of our flowers anyways.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: And isn't that powerful stuff?
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: Isn't that powerful stuff?
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: So whatever you're maybe maybe you've committed to a vacation or just like something you were really looking forward to, and then you get to the thing and you find yourself not being able to fully relax, like ask yourself like what is the story coming up there?
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: Why like what is what is my monkey mind telling me that I should be doing?
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: Why is it telling me I should be doing that?
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: What do I fear if I don't do those things?
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: And what can I do to say, like, if I knew I was like so worthy of this right now, like how I'd be acting differently?
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: What would shift?
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: And surprise, surprise, when you do that, you're starting to send the message um to your subconscious, like, I actually am so worthy.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: This is a sign of high self-worth to be allowing myself this time of like rest, or like, mmm, what do I want to do right now?
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: And then acting on it, that is not only high self-worth, but also high self-trust because you are listening to your intuition and trusting it versus some nebulous outside societal whisper of what you feel like you should be doing.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: So, all of that's to say, guys, you know what that means that I'm doing today.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: I am making use of the beautiful spas in Lombok, getting another massage today, going to Reformer Pilates.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: Can you believe it?
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: They have Pilates here, that's crazy.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: And um, yeah, definitely gonna be playing some more boggle on table party.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: So if you go on table party, you can find me and we can play each other.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so let's just close out with a little quick meditation.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: So closing your eyes, taking a deep breath in.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: Exhale, let it go.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: Another deep breath in.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: And as you exhale, notice the thing, the event, the experience you're excited for.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you feel like you're having trouble sinking into.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: You're not sure why.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: Just notice where you feel that unease in your body.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: Or that ungroundedness.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: Is it in your gut, your heart, your throat?
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: Just breathing awareness to it.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: As you breathe awareness to it, asking it to speak.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: Asking it to tell you why it feels like it can't fully settle.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: What is the reason or the excuse, even though you your conscious mind might know it's not true?
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: And then letting that part of you know that that's totally valid, you understand.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: And what would it feel like to trust that you already deserve the thing in the moment?
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: What would you do differently?
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: How would you enjoy it differently?
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: And start to breathe into that now.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you feel your jaw unclench, something soften.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you'd give yourself more permission to do something that you haven't been giving yourself permission for.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: And in that softening and that permission, noticing an internal space being created, like a flower blossoming, radiating outward.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: Not needing to make sense of it or have some breakthrough with it, but just noticing that space.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: And in that space, feeling your intuition in the middle, guiding you like a beautiful light, just asking you what you need to relax even more into this today.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: Trusting whatever comes up, honoring that as you take a deep breath in.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: And as you exhale, feel this wisdom reverberate throughout your body as you open your eyes coming back into the space.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: I hope that you are able to relax and deepen into whatever you're excited for even more because you know what?
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: You deserve it, you're amazing, and I'm excited to hear what shifts this brought you in your enjoyment journey today.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: And also, you if you've been following powerful stuff, you know that I'm hosting my first flagship retreat, the upgrade experience, October 9th through 11th in the Santa Cruz Mountains.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: This will be an incredible way to go through my coaching methodology that I've led thousands of people through to help get them unstuck and stepping into their next vision, not only through coaching, but also through fun.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: It'll be very playful but also very powerful.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: So if you are interested, you can go to the upgraderetreat.com or message me for more information.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I will see you soon for more powerful stuff.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: Look at that view.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, that is powerful stuff.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: Hey you, thank you for coming on this powerful journey with me.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: I hope it was as powerful for you as it was for me.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: And if it was, it would mean the world to me if you read, review, and subscribe to powerful stuff so I can keep bringing you the goods.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: We can keep going on this transformative journey together.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: And if there's powerful stuff that you want to share with me, with the powerful stuff community, tag us on Instagram at that powerful stuff or the emeritus maker.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I look forward to seeing you next week for more powerful stuff.