Latest / She Resets: Mindset, Fitness, Confidence / Ep 17: Willpower doesn't exist!

Transcript

Ep 17: Willpower doesn't exist! · She Resets: Mindset, Fitness, Confidence

• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the 12-week reset and week seven.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: So, week seven of our mini series, and this is all about stop making willpower do all the work.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: So, so far we've talked about setting your goal, we've talked about letting go of perfection and embracing progress, we've talked about managing all the overwhelm and the overthinking that with a new goal.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: We've talked about dealing with life's curbs, finding your deeper motivation, so the real why behind the what.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: And then last week we talked about discipline and habits and autopilots.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: So this week I want to take that one step further.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you've ever said I just need more willpower, I want you to stop for a minute.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I have mentioned this before, and I'm not repeating myself, I'm fully aware that I've mentioned this before, but it is really important because I don't actually think you need more willpower, as you well know, because I don't think willpower exists because it's a limited supply.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're probably expecting willpower to do a job, it might never have been designed to do that job.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: You know, willpower is not some sort of magic superpower.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: And we tend to talk about it as though some people have loads of it and some people don't.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: Well, she's really good, she is.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: She got so much willpower.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: When she puts her mind to it, then yeah, she gets it done.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: She doesn't get it done because of willpower, she gets it done because of discipline and motivation.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: And oh, I've got no willpower, I just can't do it.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'll never do it, I've just not got any willpower.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: A load of rubbish.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: You can train that discipline, you can train that habit, that want.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, you might hear people say, Oh, she's disciplined, she's motivated, she's got loads of willpower, and I'm rubbish.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: I can't stick to anything.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: But think about it.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: If willpower was the answer, you'd be able to make yourself do anything at any time.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: You'd never ever procrastinate, you'd never scroll through your phone and get stuck in that scroll hole when you've got something important to do.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: You'd never stay up too late.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: That's me.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: I always stay up too late, and I wake up in the morning like that exhausted pigeon.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: That if you've ever seen that meme and about being that permanently exhausted pigeon, that's me.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: But it's me and fault, I could go to bed a bit earlier.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: Or you'd never put off the gym, you'd never eat something because you're stressed or you're bored.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the thing: you're all human, I'm human.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: You know, as I said last week, our brains are designed to look for the easiest, quickest, most familiar option.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Which you know now is why habits become habits.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: Because your brain loves shortcuts.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: And we know that that's actually quite useful.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: If you had to consciously think about every single thing you did all day.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: How do I brush my teeth?
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: I can't remember.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: How do I make a cup of tea?
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: How do I put my shoes on and tie my laces?
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: How do I drive?
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: How do I get from here to work?
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: You'd be exhausted.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: So your brain automates things.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: The problem is it doesn't matter, it doesn't it doesn't care whether the habit is particularly helpful.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: It just cares that it's familiar.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: So say that a lot, don't I?
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: So let's stop making life harder than it needs to be.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to build that new habit, don't constantly put yourself in a situation where you have to fight yourself.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Make the behaviour easier.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to walk more, put your trainers by the door.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to drink more water, have a bottle of water beside you all the time.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to train in the morning, get your clothes ready the night before.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to spend less time scrolling, don't have your phone permanently attached to your hand.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: Put it in another room.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: Put it on do not disturb.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: Very often I find that pick up my phone to look at a message, I reply, click out the message straight into Facebook or Instagram.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: But if I wasn't checking a message, I wouldn't end up in the scroll hole.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: So put your phone somewhere else or turn it put it on do not disturb.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: Then when that message comes through, you don't know.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I know this all sounds ridiculously simple, which it is, but simple is so effective.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: How many times have we gone round and round and round the houses only to end up with the simplest, most blindingly obvious solution to something?
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: So let's move on to looking at your environment.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: So I want you to think about the goal that you set seven weeks ago, the goal that you've chosen for your 12-week mini-series, and ask yourself, what in my environment is making this easier?
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: And what is making it harder?
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: So let me give you an example.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're trying to build an exercise regime, but actually you've chosen a time that just doesn't fit, it doesn't work.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: And then you only realize when you get to that time and realise you can't do it.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: Then you think, oh, right, I've missed it today, but I'll do it then.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: And the same thing happens, you get to that time and you can't do it, and you've not quite put two and two together that the timing isn't right.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe that's what you need to look at.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe you're trying to eat more regularly, but you're leaving the house every morning without having your breakfast.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not saying you have to have breakfast, but it does break the overnight fast.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: Breakfast, it does replenish fuel that you lose overnight.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: It does get your metabolism going in the morning.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe you're trying to go to bed earlier, but holding my hand up now, you're still scrolling in bed till late.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe you're trying to spend more time on yourself, but every evening gets swallowed up by household jobs.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: You've got to do the dishes after tea.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: Then you've got to fold all the washing, and then you need to sort out that mail.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: And that's all when the kids have gone to bed.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: So don't just keep saying to yourself, I need to be more disciplined, I need more willpower.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: Ask yourself, actually, how could I make this easier?
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: Design a plan for the woman that you actually are.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: And this is huge.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: Don't create a plan for the woman who you think you should be.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: Create one for the woman that you actually are.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: If you know you're absolutely shattered by eight o'clock, don't plan your workout for eight o'clock.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: If mornings in your house are utter chaos, don't decide that you're gonna meditate for 30 minutes before everyone else gets up.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: And if you hate complicated cooking, don't create a meal plan that requires 10 billion ingredients and four hours of prepping.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: Because then when you don't follow it, you think, see, can't stick to anything.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: When actually the plan was unstickable to.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, what could I remove?
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: And number three, what could I prepare in advance?
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: I know for me that Wednesdays and Thursdays are tricky because I work at my friend's coffee shop and I start at 7:30 in the morning, and I would rather have an extra 20 minutes in bed than eat breakfast.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: So I know that I need to prepare my breakfast to take with me.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: So I have yogurt, oats, and berries.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: But that's not happening in the morning before I leave the house.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: That needs to happen the night before.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: I'll pack myself a potato that I can cook up in the oven and some cheese and some salad bits, but I have to do it the night before because it will not happen in the morning.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: And then I'm setting myself up for failure because then I start snacking on whatever's at the coffee shop.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: So remember, you don't need to become more disciplined before you can change your life.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: You can change the environment around you so that the behaviours that you want become easier to repeat.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: And remember, repeatable behaviours become habits.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what we're looking for.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: Not some big effort, just making the next good choice a little easier.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: And then when something becomes easier to repeat, it becomes easier to maintain.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: And when you repeat something often enough, it starts to become who you are.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: And that's dead exciting.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: So please, if you need accountability, get in touch with me, I can do that for you.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: If you're celebrating something, get in touch with me, I want to celebrate with you.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: And if you need a bit of a new plan, get in touch and I'll help you.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I will see you next time.