Latest / The Art of Love With Lucia / Episode 600: What If Your Ex Is Also Doing No Contact / Who Should Reach Out First?

Transcript

Episode 600: What If Your Ex Is Also Doing No Contact / Who Should Reach Out First? · The Art of Love With Lucia

• 0:00
  Hi, this is Lucia with yard of love.
• 0:02
  I'm a dating and relationship, experts specializing in helping
• 0:05
  you get your ex back or to get over your ex this week.
• 0:08
  I want to answer the question. What if my ex is also doing no
• 0:13
  contact? Oh, no.
• 0:15
  This is one of the most asked questions in the comments.
• 0:18
  I see it every week. So I had actually previously
• 0:22
  done a video where I discussed this but that was over four
• 0:25
  years ago and the video is only three minutes long.
• 0:30
  So I figured it's time to revisit this topic.
• 0:33
  But first, I want to welcome back my beautiful.
• 0:35
  No contact Army. Have you been a good little
• 0:37
  soldier or a bad little soldier and you've been good.
• 0:41
  Then you have downloaded, my app silencio to have you stay in, no
• 0:44
  contact. The link is underneath every
• 0:45
  single video and every single podcast.
• 0:48
  And if you chew would like to join our army, We would love to
• 0:51
  have you. All you have to do is hit the
• 0:53
  Subscribe button and the bell notification and you're in and
• 0:58
  to read our manual, go to no contact, secrets.com, where you
• 1:02
  can read to free chapters before purchasing the book, okay?
• 1:06
  So sometimes when people ask the question of, what if my ex is
• 1:10
  also do we know contact, what they're really doing is they're
• 1:13
  looking for permission to break. No contact and reach out and
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  that's because of the stories that you're telling yourself,
• 1:20
  you're Saying oh but they're an avoidance are not going to reach
• 1:23
  out. Well I've done a video on that
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  and I will put the link in the upper right-hand corner on
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  YouTube or you might be saying, oh well they're stubborn.
• 1:31
  They're not going to reach out. I've done a video on that too.
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  I'll put the link up in the right-hand corner.
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  I pretty much done a video on everything you just have to look
• 1:40
  through the videos. So whatever other reason you
• 1:43
  think that your ex may not reach out, it doesn't matter.
• 1:49
  If they're the ones who are supposed to reach out, then you
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  have to stay no contact no matter what.
• 1:55
  Avoidant exes have come back, stubborn exes have come back.
• 1:59
  Okay, so if you broke up with them because they took you for
• 2:02
  granted or cheated. So even though you were the one
• 2:06
  who actually said, the words even though you didn't want to,
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  so you pulled the trigger, you pulled the plug and ended the
• 2:14
  relationship in essence. They didn't really give you much
• 2:18
  choice. Ice.
• 2:19
  So they actually initiated The Break-Up through their actions
• 2:24
  and actions have consequences and when they cheated or started
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  to not prioritize you and the relationship and took you for
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  granted, they actually initiated The Break-Up through their
• 2:36
  actions. So your only other choice was to
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  stay in a relationship with someone who cheated on you or
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  took you for granted. And most people are not going to
• 2:45
  do that. So if that's the case, it's up
• 2:47
  to them to reach out. To use you, get you back.
• 2:51
  So if you're listening to this and you were broken up with
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  because you cheated, or you took your eggs for granted, then you
• 2:59
  should not be in no contact. Now, as I've said before, you
• 3:03
  need to give your ex at least 30 days of space.
• 3:07
  If you did either of those two things because no one is going
• 3:10
  to take you back right away when they break up with you, even
• 3:13
  though, if they want you, they still have their pride and their
• 3:16
  ego under hurt feelings. So give them some space.
• 3:19
  Ice and then reach out and of course, I've done videos on that
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  and I will put one of the links in the upper right hand corner
• 3:27
  here, but how to get them back if you took them for granted and
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  by the way, before I go further, if you're finding this video
• 3:34
  helpful so far, then please give it a like that way other people
• 3:38
  who are also going through a painful time of a breakup will
• 3:42
  be able to find it just like you did.
• 3:44
  Thank you. So and if you're not sure, if
• 3:48
  you took your ex for Outed. I would suggest you do a
• 3:51
  coaching session with me because sometimes I've had clients, who
• 3:57
  they thought that they took their EX for granted and they
• 4:00
  want to reach out and it turned out that they didn't and then
• 4:03
  other times they were in no contact.
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  They're like well I'm not reaching out and I go well you
• 4:08
  took your ex for granted, so you need to reach out.
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  So if you're not sure, then it's best to be sure.
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  Otherwise you may be sitting around doing know contact when
• 4:20
  You shouldn't be or you may be reaching out when you shouldn't
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  be. Now also you to ask yourself,
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  how do you know they're doing no contact just because you haven't
• 4:33
  heard from them, you're just assuming that they're doing no
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  contact. My maybe you haven't waited long
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  enough. Like I said, most people reach
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  out within 60 days but some they wait longer.
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  So don't just assume that they're doing no contact.
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  Or they may know that they should contact you but they're
• 4:53
  still trying to get you to reach out and so they're going to try
• 4:57
  and wait and wait and see if you reach out even though they know
• 5:02
  that they should be reaching out.
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  So if you're both in no contact and your ex should be reaching
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  out, but refuses to for whatever reason, then obviously it means
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  that you'll never talk again unless you break no contact
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  which you know, you shouldn't. Unless you run into each other.
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  So, that's one thing that you can do.
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  If you see that they are not reaching out, you can try to
• 5:27
  arrange a run-in but I can't think of a single client who
• 5:33
  never heard from their EX at some point.
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  So don't worry. Even if you think your ex is
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  doing no contact or even if they are, if you stay the course and
• 5:43
  don't give up, then there's a very good chance that they will
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  eventually. Contact you, especially if you
• 5:50
  use some of the tricks that I've talked about, in my other
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  videos, such as the to drink trick, you know, you pull the
• 5:56
  jealousy card or other things. We have the Manifest text from
• 6:02
  your ex remote seduction. Listen, there's lots of things
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  you can do to bring them out of no contact if they're in it and
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  they shouldn't be okay. So I want to hear from you, are
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  you sure that you are supposed to be in?
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  No. And how do you know?
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  And if you would like my help to get your ex back or to determine
• 6:23
  whether you should even be in your contact, you can contact me
• 6:27
  at the art of love dotnet and we will send you the rates we
• 6:31
  respond to all emails within 24 hours and if you don't hear from
• 6:35
  us and you've checked all your Spam folders then contact us
• 6:38
  again from another email because it means that your email
• 6:42
  provider is blocking us. Mmm, and if you found this video
• 6:46
  helpful, please like, subscribe and share.
• 6:49
  If you're listening to this as a podcast, please rate and review
• 6:51
  and finally remember that love inspires and powers uplifts and
• 6:56
  enlightens.