Latest / Midlife Rising / 44: How to Set Boundaries Without Guilt (and the Nervous System Secret No One Tells You)

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44: How to Set Boundaries Without Guilt (and the Nervous System Secret No One Tells You) · Midlife Rising

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: You're a woman over 40 who spent your life being the one who holds it all together.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: But now your body's changing and your soul is done pretending everything is fine.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Midlife Rising, where your hosts, Sherry and Jen, twin sisters and modern medicine women.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: Here to help you rewire your stress response, balance your hormones, and reclaim your feminine power.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: Every episode is a rebellion against the rules you never agreed to and a return to yourself.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: Join us where Midlife isn't a crisis, it's a catalyst.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome back.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's Jen here, and I am going solo today.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: I want to start with a question.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: I'm diving right in here.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: What is it like for you when you try to set boundaries?
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: The reason that I'm asking this question today is that I just keep getting asked by women how to set boundaries without feeling guilty.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: And so I thought it was time to show you how.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: Because there are some secrets to it.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: And most people that come to me don't know these secrets.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: Think about that.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: What is it like for you when somebody asks you to do something?
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's go somewhere, maybe it's help them with something.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: What do you do?
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: And if you're like me, or at least the way that I used to be and still am sometimes, it's a deer in the headlights moment, and you just say, okay.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: And then go, what in the world?
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: Why did I just say yes to that?
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to do that.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like a, maybe it's like a compulsion or like an automatic response.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm going to share with you today why it's so important to set boundaries.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: Cause I'm sure you've heard this before.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: So many, there's so much advice out there right now telling women to set stronger boundaries.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: So you know it.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: What they don't do in most cases is tell you how.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: And that's the hard part because we feel guilty setting boundaries.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_01: And it's more than just guilt.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: We'll get to that in a second.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm going to share with you why it is so important to set boundaries, especially when you hit your 40s and 50s.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: I am going to tell you why this is happening, why it's so hard to set them without feeling guilty.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: And then we are going to go through a little exercise to help you start setting them.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: And there are some counterintuitive things that you've got to do in here, some keys and secrets.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_01: So stay till the end because I am going to share all of that with you.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: So let's start with why it's so important right now in particular.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: So very top thing.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: It's going to affect your health if it hasn't already.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: So the chronic overcommitment to doing too much causes obviously more busyness than you probably want in your life, a sense of hurrying all the time because you're rushing from one thing to the next, trying to keep all the balls in the air, maybe struggling to stay above water, and a constant sense of urgency, which creates stress and probably burnout.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: So the busyness, though, is also it's not just a scheduling problem.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: This becomes a stress response.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: So the need to hurry and a sense of urgency causes a stress response in your body, which revs up your nervous system.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: And then you feel more exhausted than you are.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: You will feel more stressed.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_01: This is going to show up in your body in various ways.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_01: We talk about stress in our shoulders and our neck, but in reality, our nervous system will, when it causes a stress response, you will hold it in your body in various places.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: It can happen in your hips, which happens to many women.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: That shows up as hip pain, that keeps you up at night, and then you are exhausted because you're staying awake at night, and then you feel the brain fog.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: And even more importantly, when you say yes to things that you actually want to say no to, you are saying yes to things that aren't aligned with what you truly want.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: Call it what your soul truly wants, your intuition, whatever you want to call it.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_01: You're living out of alignment.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: And when you are not in alignment, that causes a physiological stress response that will sit in your body and eventually cause health issues.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: And this is something that I have learned from Gabor Mate, who's a physician and he's a prolific writer.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: He talks about three indications that someone will become ill.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: And actually, this applies to men and women.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: The first one is selflessness.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: So this is what I'm trying to say is that this is research-backed, that not setting boundaries has a direct impact on your health.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_01: So the first indication that someone will become ill, according to Gabor Mate, is selflessness, meaning sacrificing yourself for others and always putting others' needs above yours.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: And that is exactly what setting boundaries is about, right?
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: When we sacrifice ourselves by saying yes to something that we don't want to do, can't do, don't have time to do, we're sacrificing our own time, health, desire for another person's desires or needs.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, other ones are not expressing healthy anger.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_01: This is also related to boundaries because so many women push down anger and we bottle it up because we are told we need to be kind, we need to be nice.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: Anger is not a permitted emotion for women to express, typically, in at least the Western culture.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_01: Setting boundaries is about expressing what we feel is authentic and what we need to say in the moment.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: Now, of course, there are ways to say that.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: That's probably another whole podcast, but not expressing healthy anger is going to cause you to come to become ill.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: And the third reason he gives is oh, this is so interesting, being overly controlled or concerned about behaving the way society says we should.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_01: So this is about conforming to a specific role, maybe, as I'm a good mother, I'm the supermom, I'm a good wife, good daughter, good citizen, and which is essentially not expressing your authentic nature.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: And when we are overly controlled and concerned about behaving in certain ways that we so-called should behave, we often say yes when we should, or when we want to say no.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: Because we're behaving nicely.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: I should do this because I am going, because that's what mothers do.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: We put everyone before us and we come at the bottom of the list.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: That's what we're told.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: So we conform.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_01: So this is research fact that not setting boundaries leads to health issues, especially when you hit your 40s and 50s and you don't have estrogen, which is estrogen is like, and all our sex hormones are like super hormones.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: They help us stay healthy.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: They buffer all sorts of stress responses in the body and help us stay healthy.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: And now that that's either fluctuating if you're in perimenopause, or declining if you've hit, if you've gone through perimenopause and you're now in menopause.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: So it's even more important than ever.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: So what I want to say is to be the woman you are meant to be, you can stop apologizing for having your own needs because we come here to have desires and needs.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_01: We are meant to have desires and to fulfill those desires.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so let's talk about what these boundaries look like.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_01: At the beginning, I asked you to think about what happens when you set a boundary.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_01: So I want to first thing, let me describe what it feels like.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: And this comes from my own experience too.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_01: I have been there.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: Think about whether this is you, if this resonates.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: And if you feel guilty setting boundaries, I'm willing to bet that this will sound familiar.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_01: When you go to set a boundary, it is almost a moment where you know you should say no.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_01: There is like an intuitive feeling in your body where you know you don't want to do that, and you know that saying yes is a bad idea, and then suddenly you cave.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: And before you know it, you've said yes or you've agreed, or you're doing something that you didn't want to do.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_01: I can think of countless times in my life when I have done this.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: And it's hardest when it's like in real time.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's a little bit easier when you have the opportunity to delay your response.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like text messages, emails are so wonderful for that because it gives us a moment to decide.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: Whereas in real time, it's so tough.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_01: And this happened to me recently.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_01: I'll tell you a quick story.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_01: I feel a little bit vulnerable telling it, but I'm gonna tell you.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_01: I was working at my side hustle, which is I'm doing some admin work at a school right now, at my kids' school.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: I'm helping them out.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: And this kid saw that we had donuts for the staff in the kitchen and he asked me for one.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_01: And we had a ton of extras.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_01: He asked me for one.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, oh, no, no, no, this is a bad idea.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_01: He's gonna take it back to class, and there's gonna be other kids that are gonna see it.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_01: And before I knew it, I was like, okay, fine, have it.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_01: And in my mind, I'm like, no, no, no, this is a bad idea.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: And something compelled me to give it to him.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_01: And before I knew it, there were kids lining up at the door or coming to my desk asking me for one.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I gave one more kid one.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_01: And then I was like, oh my God, this is getting out of hand.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_01: This is snowballing into a bad situation.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_01: And this sounds like a ridiculous story.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_01: It is so silly.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_01: I feel silly even telling it.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm gonna tell, I'm telling it because I want to tell you what was happening in my body.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_01: I knew that there was, I knew that this was a bad idea.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_01: My intuition told me, uh-uh, not a good idea.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_01: In my body, I could almost watch it.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_01: My nervous system felt unsafe.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I later recognized that as I want to make this kid happy.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_01: And then I felt bad because the other kids were unhappy because it was unfair.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_01: And then I wanted to make them happy.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_01: And this is a program, a nervous system program, that has been stuck in my nervous system since I was young.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: I decided, and we do decide, our little tiny brains when we're young, decide that this is how we keep ourselves safe.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_01: So I decided, due to various circumstances of when I was a child, that if everybody's happy, I'm safe.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_01: And now that applies to anyone.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_01: When I was little, it was usually if mom and dad are happy, then I'm safe.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_01: I won't get punished for anything, I won't get shamed for anything.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_01: And now it's if everybody's happy in the world around me, then I'm safe.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: This is not a conscious decision.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_01: I want to reiterate that.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_01: So it is not your fault if you can't set boundaries or if you struggle with it.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_01: It is a nervous system response.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_01: So most women, they come to me and they focus on the boundary.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_01: They're trying to will themselves to set the boundary.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_01: They're maybe rehearsing what they want to say if they know that there's a boundary setting situation coming up.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_01: They want to know how to say it nicely so they don't feel guilty.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_01: So they ask me, how do I say it nicely?
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_01: That's the first thing they ask me.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I have those.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_01: And if you want some boundary setting scripts, I will give them to you for free.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_01: I will put them in the show notes, a link in the show notes, and you can have them.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_01: And that is that is a that is a step toward setting boundaries.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: But if you really want to set boundaries, what has to happen is two things.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_01: You need to release the subconscious program, like the one I have, that when everybody's happy, then I'm safe.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_01: That's a belief.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's also a nervous system program.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_01: So what helps with that is actually using somatic tools that calm your nervous system in the moment, if possible, afterward, before, and teaching our nervous system that it's safe.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_01: So subconscious reprogramming can start to happen just by becoming aware of that belief.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_01: So for me, it's if everybody's happy.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I can now sometimes catch myself.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: Actually, most times I catch myself in the moment and can stop it and go, no, in this particular case, the story that I just told you, this incredibly embarrassing story I just told you, um, I couldn't stop it that day.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_01: Most times I do.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_01: So obviously, that program is still sitting in my system, and I haven't done enough nervous system work to stop it with other beliefs that I have, because there are often multiple beliefs that keep us stuck in these kinds of programs.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_01: There are a few ways to do that.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_01: So becoming aware, as I've just said, um, shifting it.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_01: So understanding how it's benefiting you or how it's keeping you safe and what it's costing you, and then choosing a new belief.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_01: So I have some processes to go through that.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_01: I take women who are in our midlife red tent through that.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: So I have processes to do that.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_01: And then the next way to do that, if you really want to go deep, is through subconscious reprogramming through an energetic healing process.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_01: So the one that I, so it can be hypnosis.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_01: The one that I practice is very much like hypnosis.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_01: It's called theta healing.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_01: It uses the theta brainwave to speak directly to your subconscious and release those programs.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_01: Or I should say shift them, because we're not really releasing them, we are shifting them and rewiring your nervous system with a new program.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_01: So I want to sum that up by saying if you feel compelled to say yes, even when your intuition or even the your like your whole body wants to say no, it's not a character flaw and it's not a weakness.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_01: It is nervous system dysregulation, usually in a fauna-freeze response.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_01: So most people know what a freeze response is, and that is that sort of freeze during the headlights moment.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_01: And it happens in nature, so that's also not your fault.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_01: That is a natural physiological response.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_01: Fawning is a stress response that many people haven't heard about, it's less talked about, and that also occurs in nature.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_01: When you see the easiest way to see it is when you watch a dog who is not the alpha in the room.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: And so the dog will sort of bow its head.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_01: If it's meeting a new dog who's more of an alpha, then the dog who's fawning will bow its head and allow the other dog to sniff him or her first.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: It's a fawning response.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_01: It is a pleasing response.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's saying it's submissive.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so many woman women learn to be submissive in their childhood.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: So it's not your fault.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_01: It is a natural response.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_01: And the scripts don't work.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_01: Like boundary setting scripts, they're a good start, but they often don't work because the body in this physiological response overrides the brain, it overrides your intuition in this activated state.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: So the real work is subconscious and nervous system regulation.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_01: It's not rehearsal.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_01: The next thing that I want to do is give you some steps to start reflecting on what happens to you when you are trying to set a boundary, or when you are failing to set a boundary or didn't set a boundary.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_01: And these are some of the first steps that can get you back on the right track.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_01: So, first thing to notice is go back to that situation.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_01: So if you can think of a time when you wanted to set a boundary, one of the easiest things to figure out is what did my body feel like?
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_01: Because usually it's an anxious feeling.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's tightness in your chest, maybe it's shallow breathing or something, a feeling, sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_01: And this is easiest to notice when you have some time to delay the boundary.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_01: So I had this recently where my mom wanted me to do something, and mothers are really hard to set boundaries with sometimes.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_01: My mom wanted me to do something, and she sent it to me by text.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_01: And the minute I read the text, I could feel my whole core tightened up.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_01: So that's what we do when our nervous system goes into dysregulation is or activation, is we clench.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_01: We clench our stomachs, we clench our butt, clench our chest, shoulders go up sometimes.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_01: So where do you feel it in your body?
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_01: And the next thing is what emotions were pre were present.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_01: So one thing I didn't talk about yet is we you might be failing to set boundaries.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_01: It is a nervous system response, and saying yes keeps us safe from feeling negative emotions or emotions that we see as negative.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_01: So often women call it guilt.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_01: They come to me and they say, I feel guilty when I set boundaries.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_01: And that's not always actually the emotion.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_01: That's sort of a catch-all for the for the impermissible emotions that we feel when we set a boundary.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_01: We feel guilt afterwards.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_01: But sometimes it is more of an emotion of obligation, or we don't want to feel bad, like a bad person.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_01: Like guilt is slightly different from I'm a bad person, which is often what I feel.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_01: If people aren't happy, if I haven't made somebody happy or I've upset them, I'm a bad person.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's not just I did something wrong.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm actually, or I did something bad.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's not an action.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: Guilt is about an action that was taken.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes it's I feel like a bad person, or it's shame.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_01: If you felt shame as a child when you were unkind, or if you were made to feel shame as a child when you were unkind, you did something wrong, you made a mistake, you might feel shame when you set a boundary because that's being unkind and that's shameful.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: So more than one, feeling more than one emotion when you are trying to set a boundary is perfectly normal.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_01: So if you can, name them.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_01: Name the fears.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_01: Was it fear of conflict or was it a fear?
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Of an emotion that is either real or imagined.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_01: And the next step is what was the narrative?
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_01: And this is a hard part.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes to identify the actual narrative that was going through your mind is difficult because it's under the surface.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's running in the background like white noise.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_01: But it is the narratives that uncover the beliefs that you have stuck.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_01: So those are some steps.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_01: There are many more steps to this that can help you to shift your beliefs that are keeping you stuck.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_01: Saying yes when you want to say no.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I love talking about this because we we not only do this in our programs, but we do it in our live retreats.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_01: And at the time of this recording, we have a retreat coming up, an international retreat.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_01: It's our first international one.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_01: We're going to Peru.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_01: And one of the things that we are going to spend time on is shifting the beliefs that are keeping you from setting boundaries.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_01: So that by the end of the retreat, it's a nine-day retreat, you have let go of the things that aren't serving you so that you can step into your next chapter feeling powerful, not just like I'm a strong, capable woman, all armored up, but true power and you feel safe feeling powerful, confident stepping into your next chapter, which could look like anything.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_01: It could be just doing things slightly differently, or it could be completely changing your whole life and giving up your career and starting to do the things that you absolutely want to do.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_01: So, whatever that looks like for you, we are going on a journey over nine days in the heart of the sacred valley where we are going to let go, shift, set better boundaries, and step into your next chapter.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_01: So you go home from this retreat feeling, I shouldn't even say feeling, knowing that you are going to live differently when you get home.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_01: It's not a hot tub kind of experience where you feel all great on the retreat and you're all relaxed and you come home and you go back to the same patterns.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_01: So if you want that, go to our website, midlifewomenrising.com slash Peru.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I'll put that link in the show notes too.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_01: So I would love to hear from you if this resonated.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_01: I love hearing from my listeners.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_01: Sherry and I both do.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_01: We respond to all DMs.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_01: So DM us on Instagram.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_01: Our Instagram handles are in the show notes.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_01: Mine is Jen Rhymer Coaching.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_01: So send me a DM.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_01: I want to hear about your struggles to set boundaries.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_01: If any of this helped.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_01: And if you know that you have friends who have trouble setting boundaries and they're open to it, share this episode with them.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'll talk to you soon.