Latest / Callum Walker | Figuring It Out / Episode 58: Why Fear Holds You Back - And How to Break Free [Pt 2]

Transcript

Episode 58: Why Fear Holds You Back - And How to Break Free [Pt 2] · Callum Walker | Figuring It Out

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: If fear is the only thing stopping us from achieving our dreams and we only fear what we don't understand, then the antidote to fear is knowledge.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: All we have to do is find out who
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: has the knowledge that we need to conquer our fears and achieve our entrepreneurial dreams. My name is Callum Walker, and welcome to the podcast that will help you figure it out and conquer this lonely entrepreneurial journey.
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: Hello, everyone, and welcome to the podcast and specifically to part two of this episode where in the last episode, I really kinda ran through how the only thing stopping you from achieving your dreams is this fear. And this fear can manifest itself in your mind but it can also manifest itself physically in the form of anxiety crippling you stopping you from being able to achieve all of the dreams and the goals that you want. And I really kind of spoke to you about how you know, I really do view it as just before you're about to achieve whatever it is that you have set your heart to achieve, that this fear and this anxiety and this dread will present itself just before and the price that you have to pay to achieve that that specific goal that you have asked for is to overcome the fear and the anxiety. And what I'm gonna kind of share with you is specifically how I've been able to do that myself when being fully overtaken by that anxiety and been overwhelmed by the fear, overwhelmed by the anxiety previously, and off the back of that it has then torn me down and caused me to fail.
• 1:51
  And what I wanna share with you is the difference between what I did and how I operated when this same fear, the same anxiety was there and tore me down and caused me to fail versus when that same fear, that same anxiety was present, but I was able to overcome it and use it to actually achieve success. So again, like why am I really kind of sharing this? Well I'm sharing this because, you know, I really think that entire inside of you that there is this tug, there is this drive internally to to achieve a specific goal, that there is something that you wanna do, there's something that you really, really wanna do and either maybe you're you're scared to do it, which is fine, or you're doing it and you're getting closer to it becoming a reality and that fear has began to present itself less from a mental point of view, but now it's starting to really reveal itself and manifest itself physically. Maybe you feel nauseous, maybe you're not sleeping, maybe you just feel like this just I know for me, it was this ultimate kind of it's not even tingling, but it kinda was tingling just taking over my whole body.
• 3:23
  And right before you're about to achieve whatever it is that you want to achieve, fear is going to begin to manifest itself. It starts from a mentality point of view in terms of revealing itself in the form of alibis that I couldn't do this. I wish that it wasn't happening. What happens if it doesn't work? If I were if it if I do put it out there, I'm going to fail, then I am a failure and I will ruin my life, and then everyone will think that I'm a failure as well and and life will be shit.
• 3:54
  But then as you get closer to it, the the anxiety and the fear starts to manifest itself more in the form of a physical presence that physically it manifests itself and presents itself there for you. Now how do we how do we allow this to not screw us over? Well, I'll tell you the one thing that you don't do, you don't wish it wasn't there in the first place. Okay. Now why do I say that?
• 4:29
  Because it is there for a reason. It is there for a reason. And I think that first of all, if we look at like the purpose of that fear from a spirituality point of view because I think that that is really really important. I mentioned on the last episode that that I believe that the reason that that fear is there is because it's that one last test. It's that one last hurdle that you are presented with, and it's effectively you know, I'm not religious myself.
• 5:05
  I do believe that there is something there. You can call it a you know, maybe I would refer to it as a god or but not in the form of Christianity. For me, I've never really fully connected with Christianity myself. You know, did go to a church school and but I just I just I don't know. I've just never really kind of connected with it.
• 5:27
  It sounds really really mad because it's not really religion, but I've really kind of connected more with like Napoleon Hill's book, Think and Grow Rich, Paulo Coelho's book, The Alchemist of you know, they refer to it as I know, you know, Paulo Coelho refers to it as the hand that wrote it all. Napoleon Hill, Infinite Intelligence. And and a couple of his books, he's referred to it as God. Maxwell Malz has referred to it as God Israel. So, you know, I do feel that there is a a creator.
• 5:58
  And I think that for me that that that brings me peace, that there is a creator and there is something or someone looking over us who is saying like, hey. You can achieve whatever you want. Go and live your best life, but along the way, you need to become the person capable of of achieving that. And and I think that fundamentally that, the one thing that has always kinda given me an element of peace when I've been presented with these specific challenges actually comes from a scene from the film, Evan Almighty. Now if you've seen the film Bruce Almighty, this is a spin off.
• 6:41
  I believe this is the sequel to Bruce Almighty. Now the film itself was pretty average. Yeah. I can't believe that I'm actually comparing Evan Almighty and religion here, but it's the way that kind of my mind sort of works. But in Evan almighty, Morgan Freeman plays God, and there's a scene there where he says something which is so profound, where he says, if you pray for courage, do you think God gives you courage or situations to be courageous in?
• 7:17
  Now if you look at courage, courage is the thing that you need in order to go and make your dreams a reality because what is courage? Courage isn't the absence of fear, it's the presence of fear. It's the fact that you did it despite the presence of that fear, despite being shit scared, despite feeling the overwhelming weight of that fear, doubt, and anxiety, you still went and did it. And really, I really believe that just before you're about to achieve whatever you want, you're going to be given that test and that test is going to be of your courage. Now how do you have courage?
• 8:00
  Because you have belief that you are good enough to overcome that doubt, to override that doubt, to say whatever you are telling me right now, shitty little voice, whatever you are telling me right now, yes that voice is loud but I don't believe it. I don't believe it because I know that I am good enough to do it, because I am the person capable of being able to do it. And I think that's why things are hardest the most when you first try it because you haven't got an abundance of evidence that you are good enough to be able to do it. You're kinda just sticking yourself out there and you're trialing to do it. But the second time you are better at doing it so that fear is a little bit, like, quieter.
• 8:50
  That anxiety is a little bit less loud. And the more and more you do it, the better you become, the easier it becomes, and that fear starts to kinda dissipate itself. So I think the first thing is that it's seeing that fear and that anxiety as nothing more than a test. That this is my test. This is my test for me to get over this hurdle and I need to be the person capable of being able to jump over this specific hurdle.
• 9:19
  So what are the skills that I need in order to overcome this hurdle? And truthfully, do you know the way that you really acquire the skills to overcome that hurdle? The the way you do it is by having fucking fallen flat on your face so many times when trying to do it and look at it through the lens. Okay. Why did I fall flat on my face last time?
• 9:43
  See for me, whenever I failed on a speaking engagement, it was because I'd allowed that fear and that anxiety to overwhelm me. But secondly, the other reason why it had overwhelmed me was because I was kind of trying to recite a script whereas I don't do my best work when I'm reciting a script. I do my best work when I've got a fucking whiteboard next to me and I just go off track. I have a kind of like clear direction that I'm taking the talk in, but that's how I'm doing it. So it was like for example, this year when I was speaking at the summit in the morning, I froze.
• 10:20
  I was practicing my lines and I froze. Now previously, that caused me to panic and really to kinda go to, like, absolute ruin and just, like, fall to shit. But this time, I didn't. Why? Because I just saw it as, you know what, Cal, the reason why you're fucking freezing here is because you're you're trying to recite a script.
• 10:44
  Just get rid of half of these slides and just get to the whiteboard as fast as you possibly can. And that's what I did. And as soon as I did that, I actually stopped practicing. So was like, I know what I'm talking about. I've done this a thousand times.
• 10:54
  I can do it. Now that nerve and that anxiety was still there. So I think the the reason I'm kind of bringing all this up is that part one. So step one in this is first of all seeing it as it's just a test. It's just a test and it is normal.
• 11:11
  And I need to get clear on like, okay, if I have failed previously, why have I failed? Who was I previously and who do I need to become in order to overcome this hurdle? But secondly, even when you see it as a test, that fear and that anxiety is still going to be there from a physical point of view. It is still going to be there. Why?
• 11:38
  Well the first step in making sure that it doesn't overcome you and overwhelm you is to realize what it actually is. So when you're experiencing anxiety, when you're experiencing this fear and this sensation to run away, the important thing to see it as, you know, you have this fight or flight response. K? That's what it is. Yeah?
• 12:05
  It's sympathetic nervous system going into overdrive and you are being pumped full of everything that you need to either run away or to fight. But there's a key thing there. You can use it to run away or you can use it to fight. So you can use it to get away from the situation in terms of fear or you can use it as energy to execute the specific task in front of you. Now one of the big shifts that allowed me to overcome the overwhelming sensation of dread, worry, and fear associated with when I was getting on a stage was actually seeing it for what it is.
• 12:51
  First of all, instead of going I'm anxious and I'm nervous, I switched it to I'm excited. This is just the body presenting me with everything that I need in order to go and execute that task. And what is that anxiety and that fear from a physiological chemical point of view? Do you know what it is? It's adrenaline.
• 13:14
  That's all it is. It is adrenaline. The body is basically pumping you full of adrenaline right now. Why does the body pump you full of adrenaline? Because it is ready and it knows that there is a specific task coming up that is going to require energy.
• 13:33
  So what is the adrenaline? The provision of the energy necessary to go and execute that specific task. When you can see it solely as I am not anxious, I'm just feeling feelings of anxiety which is actually the presence of adrenaline, which is actually the presence of the energy necessary to achieve this specific task, well, then it doesn't have power over you. You have power over it because then you can use the energy as opposed to being used by the energy. How do you do that?
• 14:13
  Take a deep fucking breath and get yourself in control of your mind by going it is just energy. Energy. I feel the energy. I feel it there. I feel the tingling.
• 14:29
  I feel the sensation. I don't want it to go away because I need this. This is what I need to achieve the task. If I have first tee nerves on the golf course, if I'm scared on the golf course, well, actually, I could see it one of two ways. I can see it as, oh my god.
• 14:47
  Like, I'm absolutely panicking, and I'm gonna afford shit, and I'm gonna be shaking, and all of that nerve in my hand is gonna cause me to hit the ball like a dickhead. Or I can go, well, actually, is the energy I need to go and absolutely smoke it down the fairway. This is the energy I need to go and step onto the stage and finally achieve the thing that I want to, to step on the stage and deliver deliver this amazing talk, which is what I was born to do, which is the only thing I've ever known that I wanna do. The the the the god infinite intelligence, the hand that wrote it all, whatever it is, has given me the energy to say, here you go, son. Go and fucking nail it.
• 15:30
  Go and fucking nail it. This is your moment. Go and do it. This is your time. Go and be the hero.
• 15:39
  That shift is how you can use it. Go and do it. So again, in any form of fearful situation, you can do one of two things, you can run away from it or and again, you know, I'm not gonna share this specifically because it's very deeply personal, but you know, we've been in kind of like I've been in situations in my life where it genuinely has been kind of a life or death, not specifically for me but for, you know, people in the situation around me. And during that time, I could do one of two things, fucking meltdown and turn to a puddle or take a breath and go, right. I need to figure something out here because if I allow this to overwhelm me, then this is gonna go to shit versus actually we need to make sure that we can figure out a solution here.
• 16:38
  And that fear, that anxiety, that energy is there to allow me to come up with the solution. You look at adrenaline. Adrenaline does multiple things in the body. One, can give you the physical energy necessary to execute a task, but also it can give you the mental energy necessary to execute a task. Because we look at neuroplasticity, for example, the brain's ability to change, but the brain's ability to learn to think and be creative, we require adrenaline to do that.
• 17:11
  That's partly why caffeine, I was about to call it caffeine, from the American form, that caffeine is necessary for us to have the cognitive energy necessary to come up with specific solutions. So don't run away from it, use it and run towards it. And when you do that, it's really, really amazing because you start to yeah, you start to operate with a different energy, you start to view yourself differently and you start to see yourself as powerful versus powerless. You start to see yourself as someone who is able to use that energy and I'm in charge and I am powerful and I am fucking capable and I am the fucking man and I can do this. So when you have these situations present themselves and they will, see it as an opportunity to become the person that you've known that you're always were worthy of becoming.
• 18:10
  And I think really it's only really started to kind of dawn on me that that is how you really kind of step into the shoes of the person that you know that you actually are worthy of becoming by seeing it through the lens of all of those past experiences when you have had success, when you have gone, do you know what? Actually, even when shit hit the fan, my back was against the wall, I made it work. That is someone of substance. So I think that life is very, very boring when we know exactly what is happening and we're not growing. Remember the whole point of growing.
• 18:46
  The whole point of growing is to go and get up to that next level. So actively seek, actively seek opportunities to get to that next level. How do you do that? By having fearful situations put in front of you, but don't see it as fear. See it as excitement.
• 19:07
  See it as an opportunity to step into the shoes of that person who is capable of doing it. I feel very excited. I feel really excited and you should too. So yeah, I've, you know, kind of shared with you mainly kind of the psychological tools. There are physiological tools that you can use to to utilize, to be able to kind of allow yourself to overcome the potential overwhelm of fear and anxiety.
• 19:38
  But I'm gonna save that for another episode. So never forget, if every single one of your clients gave you just one new client, you've doubled your business.