Latest / Chatting with Cara - The Relationship with Food Podcast / If you've ever done a fitness photo shoot - this episode is for you!

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If you've ever done a fitness photo shoot - this episode is for you! · Chatting with Cara - The Relationship with Food Podcast

• 0:00
  Hello, welcome to Chatting with Carver.
• 0:02
  I'm Carver, your compassionate life coach, relationship with
• 0:05
  food specialist, and I'm here to help you understand yourself a
• 0:09
  little bit better each week. However you found your way here
• 0:13
  today, I'm glad you're listening.
• 0:14
  Maybe your friend sent you this episode, maybe you've been with
• 0:17
  me from the start, or maybe you're just curious about doing
• 0:20
  things differently when it comes to food, your body, and how you
• 0:24
  feel about yourself. Whatever brought you here,
• 0:27
  you're in the right place. Here's what I do on the show.
• 0:29
  I have honest, kind conversations about the stuff
• 0:33
  that's actually holding you back.
• 0:35
  Not the surface, several stuff, the deep stuff, the root causes.
• 0:39
  Because when you truly understand why you think and
• 0:42
  feel the way you do, then everything starts to change.
• 0:45
  It doesn't feel hard anymore. It just feels natural.
• 0:49
  So get comfortable, make yourself a group, and let's have
• 0:52
  a proper chat about the things that matter.
• 0:54
  This is chatting with Carver. Hello, welcome to this week's
• 1:00
  chatting with Carla. I hope you're all OK.
• 1:03
  I'm going to start this episode just by saying that it might be
• 1:05
  a bit of a noisy one. Han is trying her best with her
• 1:09
  sound. But I am in a different room to
• 1:11
  record today and they are building these awful houses
• 1:15
  across the Rd. from my house and my boyfriend is in the other
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  room. His his voice is so loud, so
• 1:21
  loud. Mind just talk quieter so you
• 1:25
  might be able to hear him, but I'm trying my best.
• 1:27
  I'm trying my best. So I know it's really annoying
• 1:29
  when people have really poor sound quality on podcasts, but
• 1:32
  try my best, which is all we can do anyway.
• 1:37
  Today's episode is quite a niche one.
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  It's quite niche, but I think one that really needs to be
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  said. Stay with me if you have never
• 1:45
  done a fitness photo shoot because some of this crosses
• 1:49
  over into chronic dieting. So if you're always on a diet,
• 1:52
  you're always like doing an 8 week thing or you're doing a
• 1:56
  three month thing, stay with me. But I'm mainly talking to you.
• 2:00
  If you have ever done a fitness photo shoot where you have
• 2:04
  dieted for three, three months, 8 weeks, whatever, and then you
• 2:08
  had a fitness photo shoot at the end of it.
• 2:12
  Because I've had a lot of clients who've done fitness
• 2:16
  photo shoots and have come to me and it was on one of my Mind
• 2:19
  fleeting workshops. Over half of the women on there
• 2:24
  had done a fitness photo shoot in the past.
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  So I need to talk about this because I know how these fitness
• 2:32
  photo shoots almost like pre, not pre empt.
• 2:35
  They come before the work on your relationship with food.
• 2:40
  So come with me. So with fitness photo shoots,
• 2:47
  it's the shoot at the end is like the destination, the peak.
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  It is like 8 weeks of discipline, of sacrifice, of
• 2:55
  saying no to things. It is like like you are going to
• 2:59
  look the best. Everything in this this eight
• 3:01
  weeks is all designed for you to look the best that you could
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  ever look like ever peak, peak, peak, peak, and I've spoken to
• 3:13
  lots of women and I think not that they've been mis sold, but
• 3:17
  it's kind of like, oh, actually, I thought it would last a bit
• 3:19
  longer because after the fitness photo shoot that peak it's
• 3:24
  extreme. That's when things start to
• 3:27
  unravel. They start to the the shoot is
• 3:31
  done, the goal is done and the body that they work so hard to
• 3:35
  achieve the lean depleted. The peak condition starts to
• 3:40
  change and nobody's visit psychologically told them how to
• 3:44
  handle that. So no one's done that.
• 3:49
  No one's told them. In six months time, you'll look
• 3:51
  back on those photos and you'll feel like a failure.
• 3:56
  That's what I'm talking about. Today.
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  I want to ask you a question. If you've ever done a fitness
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  photo, fitness photo shoot, I want to ask you, how did you
• 4:08
  feel the day after your shoot? Not the day off, not the day
• 4:12
  where you've got the nerves, the lights, the adrenaline, like the
• 4:16
  pride, like you've got the community around you.
• 4:19
  Like that bit's normally like, oh, you feel great.
• 4:22
  Like that's, that's good. But the day after when you've
• 4:26
  still got the tan on, but you've got like no structure, you've
• 4:30
  got no rules to follow. How did that feel?
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  Like, what did you do the day after?
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  What were you doing? How did you feel?
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  And then let's talk about when you got the photos back to you.
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  Were they what you expected? Was there like something
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  underneath, like a flatness, A void, a voice sort of saying,
• 4:54
  oh, is that it? I don't know about that already.
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  How were you picking yourself apart?
• 5:00
  Were you feeling pride in them? How were you feeling?
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  Because when I speak to women who do done fitness photo
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  shoots, never normally shoot this problem.
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  Like, people love the shoot. It's like, pretty good.
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  Like, you get your hair, your makeup done, you get your tongue
• 5:14
  done, and you thought about what clothes you're going to wear.
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  You've done like, yeah, like, that's a good bit.
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  But for the afterwards, it's like a loss of identity.
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  It's like you had a really clear goal.
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  You had really clear structure. You had a really clear purpose.
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  You almost had a really clear measure of worth.
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  And when it's over, no one prepares for that bit.
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  That's when I come in. That's when I come in.
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  Because when it's over, because you haven't got that really
• 5:46
  rigid structure, you just naturally, hormonally, healthily
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  start to change. You start to put weight back on.
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  You start, you just start to change.
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  Like that's to be expected because the shoot is peak, peak,
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  peak, peak. And by nature of a peak, it goes
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  up and then it comes out and the down bit is where I want to talk
• 6:12
  about it too. So if you're resonating with
• 6:13
  this, you're like, yeah, doesn't that I felt great on sheep, but
• 6:16
  then yeah, what I how was I feeling afterwards?
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  Like that's that's normal. That's normal.
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  And just because you didn't chat to, to about the same women who
• 6:27
  were there doesn't mean that they aren't experiencing the
• 6:30
  same thing. When you go through the cycle of
• 6:38
  really extreme dieting, the high volumes of training, the water
• 6:42
  manipulation, the so like probably the carb cycling, it's
• 6:49
  really, really restrictive. It's really quite severe.
• 6:53
  It's really quite, what's the word like It's, it's all
• 7:00
  consuming. I've never obviously ever done a
• 7:03
  photo shoot, but if I was to do a photo shoot, I would or coach
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  someone to do a photo shoot. I would go all in.
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  Absolutely. If I was a coach doing this, I
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  would go all in. I would be managing stress.
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  I would be managing water, I would be managing sleep, I would
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  be managing carbs, I would be managing protein.
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  I would be managing training load.
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  I would be managing cardio load. I would be managing steps.
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  I would go to the NTH degree to make sure that someone is in
• 7:31
  that peak, peak for that one day, just that one day.
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  Because it's not about sustainability, it's not about
• 7:42
  longevity. It's just that one day and I
• 7:47
  don't have that mindset, but other coaches do.
• 7:51
  And that's where it all comes from because the psychological
• 7:56
  damage happens when you have done that really, really, really
• 8:01
  restrictive, focused, structured work and focus on the aesthetic,
• 8:11
  focused on what you look like, focused on what that muscle's
• 8:15
  doing, focused on, well, that's your better angle, focused on
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  that's your better. You should focus on putting your
• 8:23
  back in there or turning around, putting your bum in there.
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  Like that's it's all focused on image.
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  And afterwards, that becomes your reference point.
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  That photo that you look fantastic in becomes your
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  reference point as that is like, right, that's where I want to
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  get back to. That was me feeling great.
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  I loved it. And when you start just being
• 8:50
  normal, when you start just being nourished, when you start
• 8:53
  just being like a normal, healthy human being, that's gets
• 8:57
  further and further away from you.
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  So it almost creates a new baseline.
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  So you've tried to get back to that, but even though actually
• 9:07
  you're like, oh, it was so hard to do the really restriction
• 9:11
  bit, they're like saying no to everything.
• 9:13
  They're not having a glass of wine when you're like with your
• 9:15
  mates, they're not having, they're counting every single
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  calorie. Like you don't want to do it,
• 9:21
  but you want to look the same as you did then.
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  And because the sheep was so good for you, you feel like that
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  like, Oh yeah, that was great. But actually it's not
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  achievable. It's not achievable and you know
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  that, you know, you don't want to go back to description, but
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  you've got this on your mind like, oh, actually that I looked
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  really good then. And this is when the shame comes
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  in because you think, oh, I don't look like that now.
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  Maybe I'm a bad person. Maybe I haven't got enough
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  willpower, maybe that I'm not determined enough anymore.
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  And that's when it will start strong level or start strong
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  level. So you might be thinking, oh,
• 10:02
  yeah. But I love my shoe.
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  I'm really proud of what I look like.
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  I'm really proud of what I achieved.
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  Does that mean that I was wrong to do it?
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  And I'm going to say absolutely not.
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  Totally not. Like photo shoots can be really
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  empowering. They can be really celebratory.
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  The thing isn't really the shoot itself.
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  It's like the bit that comes after for you, the psychological
• 10:24
  and physical aftermath. And also, you're probably
• 10:29
  thinking, oh, yeah, but I did it.
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  But other women, like, seem fine after their shoes.
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  Why am I struggling? And I totally get that.
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  But you don't know what's going on in their heads.
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  They might be listening to this podcast going like, yeah, that's
• 10:41
  me. Yeah, that's me, you.
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  They like, social media doesn't show somebody, like, panicking
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  over how many calories and crisps has got in it.
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  It doesn't show people standing in front of their fridge at 9:00
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  wondering what to eat. It doesn't show you like the 50
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  times that they've looked at the picture and then body checked
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  what her face, what her body looks like now doesn't show
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  that. So don't always think that you
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  are alone in this because trust me, I've seen the other side of
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  it and you're definitely not Definitely not.
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  There's a whole group of people out there who feel exactly the
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  same. And also, you don't need more
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  discipline to maintain it. If you have more discipline to
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  maintain it, it still won't be maintainable.
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  The whole thing is designed not to be maintainable.
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  It's to be shoot ready for that one day, not a healthy
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  sustainable body. It's a temporarily really
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  depleted body that is not going to serve you to live your life.
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  So don't think that you needed more discipline.
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  You don't ever. You never need more discipline.
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  You just need the right tools and strategies and the
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  relationship with boot coach like me.
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  And like I said, I've seen so many people who have done these
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  fitness shoots and come to me. So I'm going to talk you through
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  one of my clients who just stands out.
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  So she I'm not going to use her because obviously everything's
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  all anonymous for me. But she now can't look at one of
• 12:17
  those ALDI protein yoghurts because during her 12 weeks of
• 12:22
  preparation for this photo shoot, that was pretty much all
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  she was eating. She got the photos back and she
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  was, she looked incredible. She she'd like, loved them like
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  absolutely great. People were telling her how good
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  she looked like everything. She's getting lots of external
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  validation, getting lots of Oh my God, you're so dedicated.
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  You are. So your willpower's amazing.
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  Oh, I could never do that. I'm, I'm not as strong as you,
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  getting lots and knots of external validation for how she
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  looked. And then she got the photos back
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  like, OK, but then afterwards she was like, well, what do I
• 13:07
  do? She carried on tracking because
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  that's what felt safe for her, that structure, but then she
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  wasn't on as low with calories. She was like feeling guilty for
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  eating more calories. She wasn't burning as many
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  calories because it wasn't as restrictive and she wasn't being
• 13:26
  told to burn calories. She wasn't told to be really
• 13:28
  restrictive. She wasn't as a Type A.
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  She was an oldest daughter. She wasn't getting that sort of
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  like follow the plan and then getting that well done for
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  following the plan. She wasn't getting that anymore.
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  She wasn't getting that anymore. And then she started looking at
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  food, second guessing everything, tracking everything,
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  still tracking everything, but she wasn't getting the results
• 13:52
  in her body that she got before. So she was felt like she was
• 13:56
  doing loads of work but not losing weight.
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  But then she wasn't want to lose weight really.
• 14:00
  But then she wanted to look like she's doing the photos and the
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  whole thing like just culminating in her going like,
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  sod it, I'm going to stop tracking.
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  I'm going to eat what I want. And then the floodgates opened
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  and then that's when she literally pressed the focket
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  button and then she went into out of control the spiral.
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  And then she was like, oh, I've got to do something about this.
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  She came to me and we worked on her food rules.
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  We worked on that structure. We worked on actually giving her
• 14:34
  the tools to listen to her body again, because tracking so
• 14:38
  severely, you have to ignore what your body is is telling
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  you. You have to ignore your hunger
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  cues because that's what a photo shoot demands of you.
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  And we've got her back to listening to herself again.
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  And not only that, but trusting herself again, trusting herself
• 14:58
  around food that actually she could have a bit of a chocolate
• 15:02
  bar and leave the rest. She still doesn't have Bode
• 15:05
  yoghurts, but I'm fine with that.
• 15:07
  She's fine with that. We're like, yeah, you don't need
• 15:09
  to have them, That's fine. She just had normal yoghurts,
• 15:14
  but not the Bode ones. And we worked on her body image,
• 15:19
  so how she thought about her body.
• 15:21
  So what was good about her life? What was good about that?
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  Her body allowed her to do that. It didn't look like gave her
• 15:31
  somebody appreciation. And then she starts to think,
• 15:36
  oh, actually, yeah, that was peak.
• 15:39
  But I can't sustain. I couldn't have sustained that.
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  It's not me. It's the whole system that she
• 15:44
  was in. And now she's got a life where
• 15:49
  she doesn't track calories, where she appreciates her body
• 15:52
  and her training because she loved training in the 1st place.
• 15:54
  But when training is tied to what your body looks like,
• 15:58
  enjoyment diminishes. So she's back to enjoying her
• 16:01
  training. She's back to eating in a way
• 16:04
  that nourishes her body. And no, a nourish body gives her
• 16:09
  the life she wants to lead. And that's what we did.
• 16:12
  That's what we did over, I think it was about 5 to 6 months we
• 16:17
  did that. And she's come away and she will
• 16:21
  never do a photo shoot again. But she's OK with that and she
• 16:25
  will carry on with how we have set them up with mindful eating
• 16:31
  because she knows what to do. She just knows, knows what to do
• 16:34
  now. It worked really well.
• 16:39
  It worked really well. So if you are thinking I don't
• 16:41
  like protein Nuggets anymore or you've like nodded your head
• 16:46
  towards this in this episode, towards me, then yeah, I get it.
• 16:51
  I totally get it. You're sitting there going, Oh
• 16:53
  yeah, that's me, That's how I felt.
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  I know, I know. I've worked with women exactly
• 16:59
  the same as you who have done exactly the same thing as you,
• 17:02
  who have felt exactly the same way as you.
• 17:04
  And I know how to get you out of it totally.
• 17:07
  Do I just help people one to one, help them heal their
• 17:12
  relationship with food. And it's not through another
• 17:15
  programme. It's not through more rules,
• 17:17
  it's not through more structure. It's actually understanding what
• 17:21
  happened and why it happened and then building something really
• 17:26
  sustainable in its place. And when I say sustainable, I
• 17:29
  mean forever. Forever generationally as well
• 17:34
  because it's it goes into your children as well.
• 17:38
  If you can model the relationship with food that you
• 17:43
  want them to have, they will follow you.
• 17:45
  They will follow you, it's generational and it really fits
• 17:51
  around your life. You don't have to do anything
• 17:54
  special. You can finally put down your
• 17:56
  phone. You don't need to put anything
• 17:58
  into a phone. You don't need to have my
• 18:00
  fitness Val. You don't need to have need to
• 18:02
  check. You don't need to track your
• 18:03
  calories. You don't need to track your
• 18:04
  protein. You can have a ALDI protein nug
• 18:08
  if you want. If you don't, that's absolutely
• 18:10
  fine. But in one to one coaching, I
• 18:15
  yeah, help you heal your issue with food after photo shoots.
• 18:18
  It's doable. I've done it before.
• 18:20
  It's fine. If that sounds like you and
• 18:23
  you're like, Yep, I've done a photo shoot, I could do with
• 18:26
  this, then head over to the show notes, book yourself in for a
• 18:31
  free discovery call, a free consultation call, have a chat
• 18:34
  with me. I'll have a listen and I'll be
• 18:36
  like, Yep, I know exactly what we can do.
• 18:39
  And then we'll get a bespoke plan for you in the right order.
• 18:44
  And in six months time you will be free from the preoccupation
• 18:50
  food. You'll your diet will not be a
• 18:53
  diet anymore. Your body image will be yours.
• 18:56
  You will like what you see in the mirror and you won't have
• 18:59
  that preoccupation food. That's the main thing that I see
• 19:02
  with women who've done photo shoots.
• 19:04
  So yeah, head over to the show notes, book yourself in and we
• 19:09
  can have a chat and on that, Thank you very much ladies.
• 19:13
  I hope the sound has been OK. The bin.
• 19:15
  Now we did go past at one point. I hope you didn't hope you
• 19:18
  didn't listen to that bit. But anyway, if anyone's thinking
• 19:23
  of doing a photo shoot as welcome to me, have a little
• 19:26
  chat with me first, have a chat, chat with me first.
• 19:28
  It's not about shaming anyone who's done a photo shoot.
• 19:31
  I'd just seen the whole cycle. So yeah, thank you very much for
• 19:35
  listening. Thank you so much for listening
• 19:40
  to me today. If something in this episode
• 19:42
  landed for you, if you've had that moment when you thought,
• 19:44
  oh, that's me, I want you to do something with it.
• 19:47
  Don't just let it sit there. Share this episode with someone
• 19:51
  who needs to hear it. Send the link, tell them you
• 19:53
  need to start listening to Chatting with Karva because this
• 19:56
  work spreads when we talk about it.
• 19:59
  And if you're ready to stop cycling for the same patterns
• 20:02
  and actually do the deep work, it changes everything.
• 20:05
  I'd love to work with you one to one.
• 20:07
  Book yourself a free, no obligation consultation call in
• 20:11
  the show notes. We'll chat about what's going on
• 20:13
  for you, where you want to go, and I'll give you the road map
• 20:16
  to get there. If you love the show, hit
• 20:19
  subscribe so new episodes drop straight into your library every
• 20:22
  Friday. And please leave a review.
• 20:24
  It helps others find chatting with Cara and build this
• 20:27
  community. You can find me on Instagram and
• 20:31
  Facebook at Coach with Cara or e-mail me at Cara at Coach with
• 20:37
  Carl K dot Ek. Until next time.
• 20:40
  Thanks team.