Latest / Notes to Her / Note 38: Your Only Competition Is You

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Note 38: Your Only Competition Is You · Notes to Her

• 0:17
  Hey,
• 0:18
  girl.
• 0:18
  Hey.
• 0:18
  Welcome
• 0:19
  back
• 0:19
  to
• 0:19
  notes
• 0:19
  to
• 0:19
  her
• 0:19
  the
• 0:20
  daily
• 0:20
  pep
• 0:20
  talk.
• 0:20
  I'm
• 0:21
  Yaya
• 0:21
  your
• 0:22
  confidence
• 0:22
  in
• 0:22
  mindset
• 0:23
  coach,
• 0:23
  here
• 0:23
  to
• 0:23
  help
• 0:24
  you
• 0:24
  trust
• 0:24
  yourself,
• 0:25
  stop
• 0:25
  shrinking
• 0:26
  and
• 0:26
  stop
• 0:26
  measuring
• 0:27
  your
• 0:27
  life
• 0:27
  against
• 0:27
  someone
• 0:28
  else's
• 0:28
  highlight
• 0:29
  reeling.
• 0:29
  Now,
• 0:30
  if
• 0:30
  we
• 0:30
  listen
• 0:30
  to
• 0:30
  the
• 0:30
  last
• 0:31
  note,
• 0:31
  we
• 0:31
  talked
• 0:31
  about
• 0:31
  the
• 0:32
  pressure
• 0:32
  that
• 0:32
  society
• 0:32
  puts
• 0:33
  on
• 0:33
  us
• 0:33
  and
• 0:34
  it
• 0:34
  has
• 0:34
  you
• 0:34
  feeling
• 0:34
  like
• 0:35
  you're
• 0:35
  behind
• 0:36
  and
• 0:36
  about
• 0:36
  releasing
• 0:37
  that
• 0:37
  pressure
• 0:38
  to
• 0:38
  catch
• 0:38
  up.
• 0:39
  Well,
• 0:40
  now
• 0:40
  we're
• 0:40
  going
• 0:40
  to
• 0:40
  take
• 0:40
  it
• 0:41
  one
• 0:41
  step
• 0:42
  further.
• 0:42
  Because
• 0:43
  even
• 0:43
  when
• 0:44
  you
• 0:44
  know
• 0:44
  that
• 0:44
  you're
• 0:44
  not
• 0:45
  behind,
• 0:45
  comparison
• 0:46
  will
• 0:46
  still
• 0:46
  creep
• 0:47
  in.
• 0:47
  And
• 0:48
  comparison
• 0:48
  has
• 0:48
  a
• 0:49
  sneaky
• 0:49
  way
• 0:49
  of
• 0:49
  making
• 0:50
  you
• 0:50
  stop
• 0:50
  trusting
• 0:51
  yourself.
• 0:52
  So
• 0:52
  today
• 0:52
  we're
• 0:53
  talking
• 0:53
  about
• 0:53
  self
• 0:53
  trust
• 0:54
  and
• 0:54
  why
• 0:54
  your
• 0:55
  real
• 0:55
  or
• 0:56
  only
• 0:56
  competition
• 0:57
  is
• 0:57
  the
• 0:57
  person
• 0:57
  that
• 0:58
  you
• 0:58
  see
• 0:58
  looking
• 0:58
  back
• 0:59
  at
• 0:59
  you
• 0:59
  in
• 0:59
  the
• 0:59
  mirror
• 1:00
  yourself.
• 1:13
  I
• 1:13
  used
• 1:13
  to
• 1:13
  scroll
• 1:13
  social
• 1:14
  media
• 1:14
  and
• 1:14
  see
• 1:15
  women
• 1:15
  doing
• 1:15
  things
• 1:16
  that
• 1:16
  were
• 1:16
  on
• 1:16
  my
• 1:16
  wish
• 1:16
  list.
• 1:17
  The
• 1:17
  business
• 1:18
  success,
• 1:18
  the
• 1:19
  lifestyle,
• 1:19
  the
• 1:20
  freedom.
• 1:20
  And
• 1:21
  while
• 1:21
  jealousy
• 1:21
  really
• 1:22
  is
• 1:22
  not
• 1:22
  my
• 1:22
  thing,
• 1:23
  I
• 1:23
  still
• 1:24
  felt
• 1:24
  a
• 1:24
  little
• 1:25
  tinge.
• 1:26
  Like,
• 1:26
  why
• 1:27
  not
• 1:27
  me?
• 1:29
  Especially
• 1:29
  in
• 1:30
  my
• 1:30
  first
• 1:30
  year
• 1:30
  of
• 1:30
  business,
• 1:31
  there
• 1:31
  were
• 1:31
  women
• 1:31
  who
• 1:32
  started
• 1:32
  at
• 1:32
  the
• 1:32
  same
• 1:32
  time
• 1:33
  as
• 1:33
  me
• 1:33
  and
• 1:34
  seemed
• 1:34
  to
• 1:34
  be
• 1:34
  flourishing.
• 1:35
  They
• 1:35
  were
• 1:35
  selling
• 1:36
  confidently,
• 1:36
  showing
• 1:37
  up
• 1:37
  boldly,
• 1:38
  and
• 1:38
  owning
• 1:38
  the
• 1:39
  expertise.
• 1:40
  Meanwhile,
• 1:41
  I
• 1:41
  was
• 1:41
  hiding
• 1:41
  mine,
• 1:42
  not
• 1:43
  because
• 1:43
  I
• 1:43
  didn't
• 1:43
  have
• 1:43
  it,
• 1:43
  but
• 1:44
  because
• 1:44
  I
• 1:44
  really
• 1:44
  didn't
• 1:44
  trust
• 1:45
  myself
• 1:45
  to
• 1:45
  stand
• 1:46
  in
• 1:47
  it.
• 1:48
  And
• 1:48
  comparison
• 1:48
  made
• 1:49
  that
• 1:49
  even
• 1:49
  worse.
• 1:50
  Because
• 1:51
  when
• 1:51
  you
• 1:51
  compare,
• 1:51
  you
• 1:52
  don't
• 1:52
  just
• 1:52
  admire.
• 1:53
  You
• 1:53
  measure.
• 1:53
  And
• 1:54
  when
• 1:54
  you
• 1:54
  measure,
• 1:54
  you
• 1:55
  start
• 1:55
  questioning
• 1:55
  your
• 1:56
  own
• 1:56
  instincts.
• 1:58
  Now,
• 1:58
  here's
• 1:58
  what
• 1:59
  comparison
• 1:59
  really
• 2:00
  does.
• 2:00
  It
• 2:00
  makes
• 2:00
  you
• 2:01
  second
• 2:01
  guess
• 2:01
  decisions
• 2:02
  you
• 2:02
  already
• 2:03
  felt
• 2:03
  good
• 2:03
  about.
• 2:04
  It
• 2:04
  makes
• 2:04
  you
• 2:05
  abandon
• 2:05
  timelines
• 2:06
  that
• 2:06
  were
• 2:07
  right
• 2:07
  for
• 2:07
  you.
• 2:08
  And
• 2:08
  it
• 2:08
  makes
• 2:08
  you
• 2:08
  look
• 2:09
  outward
• 2:09
  before
• 2:10
  you
• 2:10
  look
• 2:10
  inward.
• 2:11
  You
• 2:11
  start
• 2:12
  asking,
• 2:12
  am
• 2:13
  I
• 2:13
  doing
• 2:13
  this
• 2:13
  right?
• 2:14
  Should
• 2:14
  I
• 2:14
  wait?
• 2:15
  Should
• 2:15
  I
• 2:15
  be
• 2:16
  further
• 2:16
  along
• 2:16
  by
• 2:16
  now?
• 2:17
  And
• 2:18
  slowly,
• 2:18
  without
• 2:18
  realizing
• 2:19
  it,
• 2:19
  you
• 2:19
  stop
• 2:20
  trusting
• 2:20
  yourself.
• 2:21
  You
• 2:21
  outsource
• 2:22
  your
• 2:22
  knowing
• 2:23
  you.
• 2:23
  You
• 2:23
  defer
• 2:24
  your
• 2:24
  instincts
• 2:25
  and
• 2:25
  you
• 2:25
  abandon
• 2:26
  your
• 2:26
  own
• 2:26
  inner
• 2:27
  authority.
• 2:28
  And
• 2:28
  that's
• 2:28
  when
• 2:28
  competence
• 2:29
  starts
• 2:29
  to
• 2:30
  crack.
• 2:30
  Because
• 2:31
  competence
• 2:31
  isn't
• 2:32
  loud.
• 2:33
  Confidence
• 2:33
  is
• 2:33
  knowing
• 2:34
  you
• 2:34
  have
• 2:34
  your
• 2:35
  own
• 2:36
  back.
• 2:37
  Not
• 2:38
  trusting
• 2:38
  yourself
• 2:39
  can
• 2:39
  be
• 2:39
  really
• 2:40
  expensive.
• 2:41
  It'll
• 2:41
  cost
• 2:41
  you
• 2:41
  your
• 2:42
  confidence
• 2:42
  because
• 2:42
  you're
• 2:43
  constantly
• 2:43
  looking
• 2:43
  for
• 2:43
  validation.
• 2:44
  It
• 2:45
  costs
• 2:45
  you
• 2:45
  opportunities
• 2:46
  because
• 2:46
  you're
• 2:46
  afraid
• 2:47
  to
• 2:47
  take
• 2:47
  risks.
• 2:48
  It'll
• 2:48
  cost
• 2:49
  you
• 2:49
  time
• 2:49
  because
• 2:50
  you
• 2:50
  stay
• 2:50
  too
• 2:50
  long
• 2:50
  in
• 2:51
  jobs,
• 2:51
  relationships,
• 2:53
  and
• 2:53
  situations
• 2:53
  that
• 2:54
  don't
• 2:54
  feel
• 2:54
  right.
• 2:55
  And
• 2:55
  it
• 2:55
  keeps
• 2:56
  you
• 2:56
  playing
• 2:56
  small,
• 2:57
  keeps
• 2:58
  you
• 2:58
  quiet,
• 2:59
  staying
• 2:59
  in
• 2:59
  the
• 2:59
  background.
• 3:00
  And
• 3:01
  the
• 3:01
  hardest
• 3:01
  part,
• 3:01
  you
• 3:02
  don't
• 3:02
  even
• 3:02
  realize
• 3:02
  that
• 3:03
  it's
• 3:03
  happening.
• 3:03
  It
• 3:04
  just
• 3:04
  feels
• 3:04
  like
• 3:04
  hesitation,
• 3:05
  like
• 3:05
  being
• 3:06
  practical,
• 3:07
  like
• 3:07
  waiting
• 3:07
  for
• 3:08
  the
• 3:08
  right
• 3:08
  moment.
• 3:08
  But
• 3:09
  the
• 3:09
  truth
• 3:09
  is,
• 3:10
  self
• 3:10
  trust
• 3:11
  is
• 3:11
  what
• 3:11
  allows
• 3:12
  you
• 3:12
  to
• 3:12
  move
• 3:13
  when
• 3:13
  things
• 3:13
  aren't
• 3:14
  guaranteed.
• 3:16
  For
• 3:16
  me
• 3:16
  the
• 3:16
  shift
• 3:17
  came
• 3:17
  when
• 3:17
  I
• 3:17
  realized
• 3:18
  my
• 3:18
  scarcity.
• 3:18
  Thinking
• 3:19
  was
• 3:19
  not
• 3:19
  protecting
• 3:20
  me.
• 3:21
  I
• 3:21
  could
• 3:21
  look
• 3:22
  at
• 3:22
  other
• 3:22
  women's
• 3:22
  success
• 3:23
  and
• 3:23
  feel
• 3:23
  behind.
• 3:23
  Or
• 3:24
  I
• 3:24
  could
• 3:24
  let
• 3:24
  it
• 3:25
  remind
• 3:25
  me
• 3:25
  of
• 3:25
  what
• 3:26
  was
• 3:26
  possible.
• 3:27
  If
• 3:28
  she
• 3:28
  can
• 3:28
  do
• 3:28
  it,
• 3:29
  why
• 3:29
  couldn't
• 3:29
  I?
• 3:30
  And
• 3:30
  that
• 3:30
  required
• 3:31
  trusting
• 3:32
  myself,
• 3:32
  trusting
• 3:33
  my
• 3:33
  skills,
• 3:34
  trusting
• 3:35
  my
• 3:35
  instincts.
• 3:36
  Trusting
• 3:36
  that
• 3:36
  even
• 3:37
  if
• 3:37
  something
• 3:37
  didn't
• 3:38
  work
• 3:38
  out,
• 3:38
  I'd
• 3:39
  handle
• 3:39
  it.
• 3:39
  Because
• 3:40
  self
• 3:40
  trust
• 3:40
  isn't
• 3:41
  about
• 3:41
  being
• 3:41
  right
• 3:41
  all
• 3:42
  the
• 3:42
  time.
• 3:43
  It's
• 3:43
  about
• 3:43
  knowing
• 3:43
  that
• 3:44
  you're
• 3:44
  not
• 3:44
  going
• 3:44
  to
• 3:44
  abandon
• 3:45
  yourself
• 3:45
  when
• 3:45
  things
• 3:46
  don't
• 3:46
  go
• 3:46
  as
• 3:47
  planned.
• 3:48
  Now
• 3:48
  pause
• 3:49
  with
• 3:49
  me
• 3:49
  for
• 3:49
  a
• 3:49
  second.
• 3:50
  Think
• 3:50
  about
• 3:51
  the
• 3:51
  last
• 3:51
  time
• 3:52
  you
• 3:52
  made
• 3:52
  a
• 3:53
  decision
• 3:53
  that
• 3:53
  didn't
• 3:54
  feel
• 3:54
  right
• 3:54
  in
• 3:54
  your
• 3:54
  body.
• 3:56
  Maybe
• 3:56
  it
• 3:56
  was
• 3:56
  a
• 3:56
  yes
• 3:57
  when
• 3:57
  you
• 3:57
  wanted
• 3:58
  to
• 3:58
  say
• 3:58
  no.
• 3:59
  Maybe
• 3:59
  it
• 3:59
  was
• 4:00
  staying
• 4:00
  quiet
• 4:00
  when
• 4:00
  you
• 4:00
  wanted
• 4:01
  to
• 4:01
  speak.
• 4:02
  Or
• 4:02
  maybe
• 4:02
  it
• 4:02
  was
• 4:02
  ignoring
• 4:03
  that
• 4:03
  tight
• 4:04
  feeling
• 4:04
  in
• 4:04
  your
• 4:05
  chest.
• 4:06
  That
• 4:06
  feeling
• 4:07
  that
• 4:07
  was
• 4:08
  your
• 4:08
  self
• 4:08
  trust
• 4:09
  trying
• 4:09
  to
• 4:09
  speak.
• 4:10
  Self
• 4:11
  trust
• 4:11
  doesn't
• 4:11
  scream,
• 4:12
  it
• 4:12
  whispers.
• 4:14
  And
• 4:14
  the
• 4:14
  more
• 4:14
  you
• 4:15
  ignore
• 4:15
  it,
• 4:16
  the
• 4:16
  quieter
• 4:17
  it
• 4:17
  gets.
• 4:18
  So
• 4:18
  rebuilding
• 4:19
  self
• 4:19
  trust
• 4:19
  isn't
• 4:20
  about
• 4:20
  becoming
• 4:20
  fearless.
• 4:21
  It's
• 4:22
  about
• 4:22
  listening.
• 4:22
  Again.
• 4:23
  Choosing
• 4:24
  alignment,
• 4:24
  even
• 4:25
  when
• 4:25
  it's
• 4:25
  uncomfortable.
• 4:26
  Honoring
• 4:27
  yourself
• 4:28
  even
• 4:28
  when
• 4:28
  it's
• 4:28
  inconvenient.
• 4:31
  Now
• 4:31
  here's
• 4:31
  what
• 4:32
  I
• 4:32
  want
• 4:32
  you
• 4:32
  to
• 4:32
  walk
• 4:32
  away
• 4:32
  with.
• 4:33
  Your
• 4:33
  only
• 4:34
  competition
• 4:35
  is
• 4:36
  you.
• 4:37
  Not
• 4:38
  her
• 4:38
  timeline,
• 4:39
  not
• 4:39
  her
• 4:40
  success,
• 4:41
  not
• 4:41
  her
• 4:42
  chapter.
• 4:44
  Every
• 4:44
  time
• 4:45
  you
• 4:45
  keep
• 4:45
  a
• 4:45
  promise
• 4:46
  to
• 4:46
  yourself,
• 4:47
  you
• 4:47
  build
• 4:48
  trust.
• 4:49
  Every
• 4:50
  time
• 4:50
  you
• 4:50
  honor
• 4:50
  your
• 4:51
  intuition,
• 4:51
  you
• 4:52
  strengthen
• 4:52
  it.
• 4:54
  Every
• 4:55
  time
• 4:55
  you
• 4:55
  choose
• 4:55
  yourself
• 4:56
  over
• 4:56
  approval,
• 4:57
  you
• 4:57
  reclaim
• 4:58
  it.
• 4:59
  And
• 4:59
  if
• 4:59
  this
• 5:00
  note
• 5:00
  hits
• 5:00
  you,
• 5:01
  if
• 5:01
  you
• 5:01
  are
• 5:01
  realizing
• 5:02
  how
• 5:02
  much
• 5:03
  you've
• 5:03
  been
• 5:03
  doubting
• 5:04
  yourself
• 5:04
  and
• 5:05
  you
• 5:05
  need
• 5:05
  support
• 5:06
  right
• 5:06
  now,
• 5:07
  not
• 5:07
  someday,
• 5:08
  that.
• 5:08
  That's
• 5:08
  exactly
• 5:09
  what
• 5:09
  my
• 5:09
  confidence
• 5:10
  view
• 5:10
  sessions
• 5:10
  are
• 5:11
  for.
• 5:11
  It's
• 5:12
  just
• 5:12
  one
• 5:12
  hour.
• 5:13
  It's
• 5:13
  a
• 5:13
  focus
• 5:14
  session
• 5:14
  where
• 5:14
  we
• 5:14
  help
• 5:15
  you
• 5:15
  reconnect
• 5:15
  with
• 5:16
  your
• 5:16
  instincts,
• 5:17
  rebuild
• 5:17
  trust
• 5:18
  in
• 5:18
  yourself,
• 5:19
  and
• 5:19
  get
• 5:19
  grounded
• 5:20
  in
• 5:20
  your
• 5:20
  next
• 5:21
  step.
• 5:22
  So
• 5:22
  if
• 5:22
  you're
• 5:22
  interested,
• 5:23
  the
• 5:23
  link
• 5:23
  is
• 5:23
  in
• 5:24
  the
• 5:24
  show
• 5:24
  notes.
• 5:25
  And
• 5:25
  if
• 5:25
  this
• 5:25
  helped
• 5:26
  you
• 5:26
  even
• 5:26
  a
• 5:26
  little
• 5:27
  bit,
• 5:28
  share
• 5:28
  it
• 5:28
  with
• 5:28
  a
• 5:29
  friend.
• 5:29
  Or
• 5:29
  share
• 5:29
  it
• 5:29
  with
• 5:30
  a
• 5:30
  woman
• 5:30
  who's
• 5:30
  been
• 5:30
  comparing
• 5:31
  herself
• 5:31
  and
• 5:31
  forgetting
• 5:32
  how
• 5:32
  powerful
• 5:33
  she
• 5:33
  already
• 5:34
  is.
• 5:35
  And
• 5:35
  remember,
• 5:35
  you
• 5:36
  are
• 5:36
  not
• 5:36
  behind.
• 5:37
  You
• 5:38
  are
• 5:38
  learning
• 5:38
  to
• 5:38
  trust
• 5:39
  yourself
• 5:39
  again.
• 5:41
  I'll
• 5:41
  see
• 5:41
  you
• 5:41
  in
• 5:42
  the
• 5:42
  next
• 5:42
  no.
• 5:42
  And
• 5:43
  it's
• 5:43
  going
• 5:43
  to
• 5:43
  be
• 5:43
  a
• 5:44
  good
• 5:44
  one
• 5:44
  because
• 5:44
  I'm
• 5:45
  getting
• 5:45
  a
• 5:45
  little
• 5:45
  personal.