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Can You Feel Two Emotions at Once? Understanding Mixed Feelings & Emotional Awareness | Let’s Get Emotional · Let's Get Emotional

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Let's Get Emotional.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Tatiana Rojas, and these mini episodes are a little bit different because it's just me today.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to take a few minutes to talk through some of the ways emotions show up in everyday life.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: So hopefully you'll get something out of this little episode today.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever had something happen that you thought you were supposed to feel one way about, but you didn't?
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: We tend to expect our feelings to make sense based on what happened.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: If the news is good, we expect to feel good.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: If we made the decision ourselves, we expect to feel settled about it.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: But real reactions can be layered and so much more than that.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: You can know something is good for you and still have a hard time with it.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: You can be ready for something to end and still miss what it used to be.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's usually where the confusion comes in.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: We start questioning ourselves because our reaction doesn't match what we expected to feel.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of allowing more than one feeling to exist, we try to decide which one makes the most sense.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Am I actually happy about this?
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: Did I make the wrong decision?
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: Why am I sad if this is what I wanted?
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: Having mixed reactions doesn't automatically mean something is wrong.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: It may mean the situation matters to you in more than one way.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: Think about starting a new job.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: You may have spent months hoping for the opportunity, and when the offer finally comes, you're excited.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: Then the first day gets closer and the nerves start to show up too.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: You start thinking about everything you don't know yet.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: You may miss the people from your old job or find yourself questioning whether leaving was the best decision.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: That doesn't mean you don't want the new job.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: The change is bringing up more than one reaction.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: That can happen even when we're the ones who made the decision.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: We can want something and still need to adjust to it.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: We can feel good about where we're going while still having feelings about what we're leaving behind.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: The difficulty comes when we start treating those reactions like they're competing with each other.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: We tell ourselves, I shouldn't be nervous if I'm excited about this.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Or if I'm sad, does that mean I made the wrong choice?
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: But one reaction doesn't have to erase the other.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: This can show up in relationships too.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: Caring about someone doesn't mean you'll never need space from them.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: Understanding why someone made a decision doesn't mean it can't still hurt.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: You can understand where another person is coming from and still disagree with what happened.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: The relationship can matter to you while something about it still needs to change.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: When we stop trying to make one feeling win, there's more room to recognize what the experience is bringing up for us.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: That doesn't mean every reaction needs to be analyzed.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: There are times when it's enough to recognize that your response is more complicated than you expected.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: So if you've been trying to decide how you're supposed to feel about something, try shifting the question.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of asking which feeling makes the most sense, ask, can more than one reaction make sense here?
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: Before we wrap up, I want to give a few minutes to think about where this might be showing up in your life.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're driving, keep your attention on the road and listen along.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: If you're somewhere you can settle in, get comfortable, and give yourself just a few minutes to focus on this guided reflection.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: Think about something happening in your life right now that has brought up more than one reaction.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: Keep it manageable.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: It can be a change you're adjusting to, a decision you recently made, something happening in a relationship or an experience you've been thinking about.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: Bring that situation to mind.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: Start by noticing the reaction that feels easiest to recognize.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: What comes up first when you think about it?
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: Give yourself a moment with that.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: And now ask yourself Is there another reaction here that I haven't given as much attention to?
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: You could feel excited about what's ahead while still feeling nervous about the change.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: You could know a decision makes sense and still feel sad about part of it.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: You could care deeply about someone while also feeling frustrated, disappointed, or unsure about what comes next.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: Notice what fits your experience.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: Now think about whether you've been judging one of those reactions.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: Have you been telling yourself you shouldn't feel that way?
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: Have you been using one feeling as evidence that the other one isn't real?
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: Sit with that for a moment.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: Now ask yourself, what changes if I allow both reactions to be there?
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to choose between them and you don't have to make one more important than the other.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: Just notice what it feels like to acknowledge that both can exist.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: Take a slow breath if that feels comfortable.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: Think about the situation one more time.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: What makes more sense now that you've made room for more than one reaction?
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: You might notice that the experience feels less confusing.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: You might recognize why part of you feels pulled in one direction while another part feels differently.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: Or you may still be working through it and that's okay.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: As you move through the rest of your day and the next few days, pay attention to the moments when you're catching yourself asking how you're supposed to feel.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: And try replacing that question with can more than one reaction make sense here or more than one feeling?
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: That can give you more room to understand what the experience is bringing up for you.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: So if this reflection brought up the thought, I wish I understood this part of myself a little bit better.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: That's also part of why I created the Let's Get Emotional, Emotional Fluency, Learning the Language of Feelings course.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: In this course, we spend more time exploring how emotions show up, how we can better understand our emotional experiences, and how to put what we're experiencing into words so that we can communicate those not only to ourselves but to others.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: These many episodes give you a place to pause and think about some of those ideas.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: The course gives you more space to explore them and work through them at your own pace.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: So let's get emotional.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: The emotional fluency, learning the language of feelings, will launch in September through Own Your Bloom.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to keep up with the course and what I'm creating there, you can follow Own Your Bloom on Instagram and TikTok.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'll be sharing more about the course as we get closer to launch.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: But until next time, if you're not sure what you're feeling, that's okay.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: Give yourself some time to make sense of it.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: You can figure out the rest as you go.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: Have a great rest of your day.