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Why Restored FEELS Different · The MODERN YIN Podcast

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Restored feels different. Welcome to another episode of
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the Modern yen Podcast. I'm your host, Kimberly Roberts
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of Soulful yen Yoga, and I'm really happy you're here today.
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So today I want to talk about why restored feels different.
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Because there's a big difference between coping and being
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restored, and sometimes we confuse the two.
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We often think we're restored because, oh, I took a break.
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I slept in an extra 30 minutes today because I distracted
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myself really well. But sometimes you're not
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restored. Sometimes you're just less
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activated. Sometimes you're just a little
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less exhausted than you were before.
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Sometimes you're coping just a little bit better.
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And coping better is not the same as being regulated,
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restored. It feels different.
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So let's talk about that. The illusion of fine.
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Remember that just fine for so many women over 40, especially
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high functioning women, Fine or just fine becomes the baseline.
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It becomes the norm. We're productive, we're showing
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up, we're meeting deadlines, we're holding space for
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everybody else. So guess what?
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We assume I'm OK, I'm fine. But internally, that jaw is
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tight, that breath is shallow. The thoughts, they're racing to
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solve imaginary emergencies. You know, that imaginary bear
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that's always standing in front of you?
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You're not collapsing here. You're bracing and bracing.
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It can look very competent from the outside, but that's not
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restoration. So let's talk about, well, what
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does restoration actually feel like?
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Because restored feels different.
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Your breath, it deepens without you even forcing it.
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Those shoulders of yours, they drop naturally.
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Your jaw, It softens without you reminding it to do so.
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And your mind, it stops scanning for threats, not because your
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positive thought your way there, you know, toxic positivity, woo
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Hoo Hoo, but because your Physiology shifted.
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This drop isn't mindset, it's Physiology.
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Let that land for a minute here. When your nervous system moves
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out of chronic engagement, the body reorganizes itself.
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Clarity returns, energy stabilizes.
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You stop reacting to everything like it's urgent AF.
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This is what modern yin is all about.
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Where stillness does the real work.
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Not dramatic, not sweaty, not loud, but powerfully bold in a
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quiet way. Now I want to share a little
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personal story here, just to give a little bit more context.
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There was a season where I thought I was doing better.
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I was functioning, working, showing up, wasn't in crisis.
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So I told myself I was fine. But my jaw was still a little
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tight every once in a while, my shoulders sometimes still a
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little too close to those ears. My thoughts, they were
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constantly scanning ahead of time, and even in quiet moments,
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I wasn't resting fully. I was still in preparing mode,
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preparing for the next task, the next problem that I thought
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would show up, the next thing that needed my attention.
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And then there was this moment, and I don't exactly recall.
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Maybe it was after I had been sick, maybe it was during the
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pause from recording my podcast, maybe it was even when I was
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lying on the floor after a yen practice.
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But I remember noticing my breath drop without me even
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trying. My body, it felt heavy in such a
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good way, like not fatigued, settled my thoughts.
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They weren't solving anything. They weren't rehearsing, they
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weren't anticipating. There was just this space.
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And I realized, whoa, this is what restored feels like.
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I hadn't been restored fully like this before.
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I had just been coping more efficiently.
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I had just been optimizing my burnout.
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Yeah, I nailed the art of optimizing burnout because I was
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coping more efficiently. But here's the thing that kind
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of restored that kind of coping more efficiently, actually felt
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really different. And here's the insight around
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that. When we've been engaged for too
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long, we just normalize bracing. That's what becomes our
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baseline, our norm. And you know what?
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High functioning women, especially women over 40, are
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very good at bracing beautifully.
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They've nailed it. But restoration is not just the
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absence of crisis. Because here's the thing, life
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is going to life you. Restoration is the presence of
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regulation. It's when your system stops
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scanning, when your breath deepens without command, when
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your jaw softens without you reminding it to do so.
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And this drop. It's not mindset, it's
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Physiology. That's why yin, modern yin
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especially, matters because it's stillness that's not indulgent,
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it's corrective. It teaches the body that it's
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safe to stop bracing. And here's the really super cool
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part that a lot of women ask well, if I know all this, then
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why do I avoid being still? And I'll tell you the real
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reason, the simple reason why women avoid true restoration,
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It's because when the body finally slows down, what's
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underneath becomes visible. You know, all the stuff that you
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sweep under the carpet and you're like, oh, it's not there
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anymore. But then one day you lift the
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carpet and then all of a sudden everything is exposed.
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So when we do the same with our body, the grief shows up that's
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been stored underneath the carpet.
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The fatigue, the resentment, the truth.
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So instead of restoring, we want to distract because we're like,
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Nah, don't want to deal. So we scroll, we stay busy, we
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over schedule, we tell ourselves we're just fine.
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And here's the thing. You can say that all you want,
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but your nervous system knows better.
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Your nervous system knows the difference.
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You can feed your mind whatever you want, but your nervous
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system doesn't lie. So if your system has been
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engaged for too long, it doesn't need any more motivation.
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It already knows how to do that. It needs safety and safety.
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It's not created through intensity.
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It's created through consistent, gentle, regulated practice and
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stillness. This is why the work inside the
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Soulful Yan Yoga app and even some of my Deeper Mindset
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programs and seven and 14 Day Yin Yoga series are all about
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less pushing, more softening, more stillness.
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It's about recalibrating. It's about doing less, but done
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well. So if you've been listening and
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realizing, oh, I actually have been coping, I've been managing,
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I've been just fine. Notice your breath right now.
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Is it low or is it high in your chest?
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Notice your jaw, your shoulders. And again, this isn't an
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exercise in judging yourself. It's about awareness.
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And this is one thing that I say all the time.
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You cannot change what you are not aware of because you cannot
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restore what you refuse to notice.
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In the Soulfully in Yoga app, the practices that I have
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designed and curated are for this exact shift.
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Nervous system regulation, awareness.
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Not intensity, not sweat, not performance, not track, not
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check off a box, but consistent, grounded recalibration.
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Because restoration is built. It's built quietly and restored.
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It feels different. It feels steady.
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It feels spacious. It feels unhurried.
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It feels like you don't have to hold everything up anymore.
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You've been there. You've done that.
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You have the T-shirt to prove it restored.
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That feels different. This is modern yin, where
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stillness does the real work. So thank you so much for
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pressing play on today's episode.
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I hope this gave you some insight, some clarity, some
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awareness, and I'd love to see you inside the Soulfully in Yoga
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app Stay tuned for the next episode.