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Episode 31: Healing Your Relationship with Sex and Self With Luci Lampe · Heal Yourself Podcast

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Heal Yourself Podcast, where we dive deep into all things healing.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: I'm Denise, a speech language pathologist and a self-love coach for adults and teens.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: And I'm Kira, a traditional naturopath and functional nutritionist, and we're here to guide you through the transformative process of healing your body, mind and soul From the latest in functional medicine, of healing your body, mind and soul, from the latest in functional medicine to nurturing your relationship with yourself, healing trauma and even transforming your money story.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: we're here to empower you with the knowledge and tools to create lasting change.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: So, whether you're looking to heal physically, emotionally or spiritually, join us as we explore the many paths to wholeness and wellness.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: Hello everyone, welcome back to another episode of Heal Yourself Podcast.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: Today you have me and Denise, and we are joined by special guest Lucy Lampe.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: So I'm going to introduce her.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: She is a mom of four, soon to be five, trauma-informed sex and relationship coach, award-winning singer and songwriter, commercial actress and print model and three-time author.
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: Her writing has been featured on the Huffington Post, forbes, entrepreneurcom, cbs and Fox.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: After overcoming an autoimmune disorder and embarking on a deep healing journey and spiritual awakening during her former husband's two-year disability and depression, lucy's work shifted deeper into the realms of erotic liberation and spiritual reclamation.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: I can't even say that Reclamation, reclamation, whatever.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: We're going with it, guys.
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: And now, after her journey of conscious uncoupling from a 17-year marriage and unexpectedly experiencing new love, she brings a new depth to the message of open-hearted living and relating to couples, women and men.
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: And that's a long one, but we needed to say it because Lucy's pretty epic.
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: Oh, thank you, Thank you, thank you.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: We've known you for a long, long, long time and I mean I've known Lucy for probably over 10 years or like 10, around 10 years, and I know, maybe with Kira it's, like you know, maybe close to six, seven, but it's just so crazy.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: I know we did something together so long ago.
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: Oh, it was like a lifetime ago.
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: Lifetimes ago, that's what it feels like.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: We're so excited to see you and to have you here.
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: Well, yeah, tell us.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: We love to start with you telling our audience how did you get to this place, because you have had a journey and we have witnessed some of it on social media, but other people aren't going to know.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: So, like, what brings you to the space?
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: Well, let's see in a nutshell how much can I condense this?
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: Basically, when, denise, when you and I met I remember it was in the entrepreneur context, right I was hosting my first event for mom entrepreneurs.
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: I was very much in my mompreneur brand era and which, interestingly, it was called the sexy mama movement, right.
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: But there was a part of me that I was like I don't feel sexy, I kind of resist.
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: I used that word because I resisted it.
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: I was like I need to reclaim this right.
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: I used that word because I resisted it and I was like I need to reclaim this right.
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: But that really was before going through deep sexual healing and erotic liberation and all of this and really reclaiming these more dark texture aspects of myself as well.
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: But yeah, at that time I was really just focused on finding peace and I just knew that I didn't have it and I knew that everything outside of me determined how I felt and that just wasn't sustainable and I was tired of it and I couldn't live like that anymore.
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: So during that period of time, ryan was going through my ex-husband was going through that period of depression and disability and I was figuring out how to navigate the next steps in my business as an entrepreneur, supporting a family of six already at that time, because our youngest was just a newborn and I was going through a lot of severe autoimmune issues in my body.
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: So just everything all at once.
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: It was the rock bottom that just activated a new path for me emotional intelligence, starting to kind of learn what shadow work was maybe a year or two after that and exploring more of the spiritual aspect of of all of this too.
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: The somatic healing that followed after that.
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: So the journey kind of started as I feel suffocated by life and I need some new tools and I started deconstructing my faith because the church tools weren't quite cutting it for me.
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: I'm like, how do I give it to God?
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: Like how, how is this God's plan?
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: Like, what do I?
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: What the fuck do I do in the meantime?
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: And then it kind of one thing led to another.
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: Then it went more into the relationship, the well, the personal sexual healing, self-pleasure practice, doing more embodied, somatic experiencing things like that, going deeper into the body.
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: And now it's kind of just this full circle moment where we hit all the things the nervous system, the karmic cycles, the soul path, the erotic embodiment and how it expresses in relationship, and that's kind of where I've landed right now.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: Love it, love it, love it, love it.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: Lucy, talk to us about embodiment.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: We hear this word a lot and I'm not going to deny that it can be confusing to a lot of people, like you said like, like, how the heck am I going to give it to god, right?
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: How is this the you know god's plan or whatever?
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: How the heck?
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: Because we hear it also be you first, gotta be you first gotta embody your true self.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: You gotta, but then one, you gotta remember who your freaking true self is and what it came here for who the hell am I right?
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: so I feel that there is.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: I want us to simplify it and that's how I.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: You know I love everything simple.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: That's why I remember I still remember your little book, the Sexy Mama Morning, and then when we did this challenge, this little tiny book was amazing because it was so simple, and I love how you simplify things.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: And I even remember I couldn't even get up before.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: Like back when I did the challenge with you, I couldn't get up before 10 and 11.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: And then I was waking up at 5 am, and now I have my routine of waking up between 5 am and 6 am, and this is where it sparked it, to be honest.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: So talk to us embodiment.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: Give us some tips, let's simplify.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: Embodiment, though, to somebody who is just I really want to do it, but girl, I can't.
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, okay.
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: So I want to also preface this with, like that, actually that morning practice that I shared in that in that morning book.
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: Thank you for.
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: Thank you for referencing that Cause oh my God, that was.
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: I was very much about simplifying, like how do we make this practical?
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: That's my Capricorn part.
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: It's like how do we just make it work?
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: Let's, let's just get get functional down to business.
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: That having a routine in place really is what set me up for this deeper stuff, because, in terms of, let's say, people talk about, you know the, the masculine and feminine energies we all have them.
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: They get a little bit muddled online, I think when we hear about them in simplified terms, there's only a really small deep.
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: You can go online, let's be honest.
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: But my masculine, inner masculine energy had been being refined.
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: I had a routine.
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: My shift was thinking of it as a routine of self-discipline and shifting that to.
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: These are my rituals.
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: These are my rituals, this is my devotion to love, this is my devotion to myself, to my heart, and that shift helped me to invite more of my feminine essence in.
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: So when we talk about embodiment, it's like what is embodiment?
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: It's not just like some hip circles that you do in the morning in a women's gathering, it's you literally becoming when you embody something you have become it.
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: You're not just at first see, the first layer of this is you kind of try it on right, like there's a part of you that you're not sure if that's you Like.
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: When I first got my pole five plus years ago, I said I think this is maybe fits me, I'm not sure, let me try it on.
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: I had a project in mind that I wanted to execute on in 30 days.
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: So I gave myself a goal I'm going to do these three pole moves in 30 days.
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: I'm going to be competent enough to look okay on video.
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: And so there's that of trying it on, like, oh, let me see, is there like an inner vixen in this form?
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: How does that feel?
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: You're not trying to become something that you're not.
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: You're curious about what parts of you you haven't met yet, what parts of you you haven't accessed yet.
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: And instead of just discarding like, well, that's not me, cause that's never been me and I don't know, it feels weird.
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: Sometimes the things that we feel the most resistance in or the most cringe or ick are exactly the things that, deep down, it's like that's the thing.
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: That's the thing.
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: So first it's just trying something on trying it on.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: You see somebody pole dancing.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: I, I should be getting paid for this shit.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: I get so many women into pole dancing, I should be getting paid by x pole.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: They're like where'd you get your pole?
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: Well, fyi, it's an exercise right now, like there are.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: There is a pole fitness place close to my house and they it's like um, it's more of a workout right now too.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: It's very, it's very mainstream, like I love it.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: I tried it a few times I did give up, but I can go again.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to lie to you, I was a little bit intimidated, because it does say beginning it was a beginner.
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: So I was so happy it's a beginner.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: And then I go in and I'm like you are not a beginner, my friend.
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: No, no, no, no.
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: So I totally want to like either a private or yeah take like, give it a chance for you, the way that I like to teach poland.
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: I'm actually creating a poll, course, course right now.
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: That's releasing in april, fyi, but a bit of that because it's more focused on the embodiment, on the like hey, where's your inner, your inner dark goddess, your inner slut, your inner dark goddess, your inner slut, your inner seductress, your inner Lilith, you know?
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: And, working with that energy, try it on, see what comes through.
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: So there is again, like that first layer of just trying something and seeing what feels awkward about this.
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: What part of me I'm like.
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: Oh, I don't know, I don't like it.
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: Just, this is the shadow work part of it, right, you look at the aspects of you that are confronting you that you don't necessarily love, and then there's an element of, okay, I'm going to keep showing up, there's something here for me.
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: So I'm going to keep showing up with this part of me.
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: I'm going to.
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: I'm going to keep, let's say, in the mornings.
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: To give you an example how my mornings shifted from what you read in the Sexy Mama Morning versus what it became six-ish years ago.
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: It went from being more about the emptiness and the meditation and the stillness.
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: Not that that's not valuable.
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: That's still very powerful and important.
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: But remember, I wanted to invoke more of this, like these feminine aspects of me, and be more full in my fullness.
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: So first thing, still to this day, that I do in the mornings is I get up and I dance.
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: It doesn't have to be crazy, I'm not doing pull tricks, I'm not upside down.
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: That's later.
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: If I do that that day, you know, I'm not like hanging up the stairs.
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: I just woke up five minutes ago and I'm like a sexy siren.
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: No, I have playlists that I have created over the years.
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: It's like what's the vibe right now?
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: And then I just dance for like 15 minutes.
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: That's simple.
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: That's simple.
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: And then, and then, once you kind of unblock and awaken the energy, you're a clearer channel to do something like meditate or drop in with your spirit guides or receive the downloads, the creative downloads, just to be in that stillness.
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: You're in the movement and then you're in the stillness and receiving open listening, soft, open listening, soft.
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: I like to also do a little brief yoga flow, while I'm kind of transitioning from the movement into this communion with spirit space, because it helps my body to cool down and to you know, it's not intense.
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: I mean we're talking eight minutes of yoga and then the body's on, the mind is open, things are coming in, spirits, like you know, communicating, and then to self-pleasure from that place.
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean you're talking a whole other level, like you're not just masturbating to take the edge off, you are going deep within yourself, like into the soft tissues of your vagina.
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: There are messages there, there's a lot of wisdom there, so, and a lot of healing.
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: And so that became my daily flow.
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: And imagine doing that.
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: When COVID happened, I had a lot more time to do that.
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: I would spend like two, sometimes three hours in my office while the kids were doing all their Zoom classes, and I'm like this is my, this is my ritual space and I'm just going to sit in the dark for an hour and listen.
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: So it's much more about just being present with what is when you do this from kind of a feminine perspective.
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: But very practically, it doesn't have to take two hours, it can take 30 minutes, but the main thing is like movement and then coming back into stillness and listening and then dropping into some form of a pleasure practice.
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: I have a question for you.
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: So for the listeners who are like what the hell is she talking about?
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: She said inner slut, inner goddess.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: Why would I want to embody that?
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: And what is sexual healing?
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: I didn't have a trauma, so this isn't for me.
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: Who needs this?
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: Thank you.
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: Thank you, yes, and you know your audience way better than I will know.
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: So these are exactly what we need to do More foundational things here.
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: So sexual healing is not limited to those who have had big T traumas.
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: Simply existing as a woman today is inherently traumatic on the body.
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: All these messages that we have internalized that it is unsafe to just exist in a woman's body, that if you dress provocatively and something happens to you, you were asking for it, that you know you don't want to attract unwanted attention, that it's unsafe to you know to wear the dress I want, because if I get unwanted attention by a man at the gas station, he might make an advance.
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: I would reject him, his ego would get hurt, he might hurt me.
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: You know these are the things that we have seen, whether we have the religious programming or not.
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: Now, if you have the religious background, that's a whole other layer.
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: Also, that was me, pastor's daughter.
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: You know Kara's like yeah, denise and I know we did an episode on religious trauma.
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: Oh girl, the whole.
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: We could do a whole episode just on religious trauma around the sexuality because there's a deep, deep, deep, deep wound around that.
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: I didn't have a big-.
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: Also growing up in a country where this whole thing is a taboo.
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes.
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: It's a lot.
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I'm so glad we're talking about this.
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: This is so amazing.
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, there's, there's, there's a lot to unpack there, a lot, so you don't have to have had sexual trauma.
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: The majority of women that I have ended up working with have come from religious backgrounds and, unfortunately, within that context, did experience sexual abuse.
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: But that's just another layer.
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: But the sexual healing is more about coming into wholeness with ourselves, our sexual energy.
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: The thing that we were taught was bad, that, oh my God, you can't masturbate.
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: You know Jesus is watching and you're going to be punished and you might go to If my soul is in danger of eternal damnation for touching myself because it feels good, there's something wrong there.
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: But I carried that, and I know a lot of women carry that, even if they weren't deep in the structure of the religion.
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: You kind of catch a splash of it just by existing in the societies that exist today, and so, yeah, this is really about reclaiming your sexual energy, the holy, the erotic or one, and that is something that most wouldn't even fathom.
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: How.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: Reclaiming all parts of ourselves.
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: Basically.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: Yes, you know, and just accepting ourselves for who we are and wanting more.
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: And I mean because I am in the business of simplifying and I Alice likes baby steps.
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: I do, I love baby steps, because I am in the business of simplifying I love baby steps.
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: I love baby steps Because, let's be real, yes, sometimes big steps lead to big changes.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: However, small steps lead to consistent changes that will last forever.
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: I feel.
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: I really love the idea of uncovering yourself, you know, through self-pleasure or whatever.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: Maybe kind of give us a baby step of how someone who may have a little bit of resistance to it maybe start or explore or maybe even read a book or something kind of like what would be the simple step, the first step to take on that ladder.
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: I mean, the very first step, I would say, is just to create space, to take up more space.
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: So if you had 10 or 15 minutes and I would even present this as a challenge, you know, for, let's say, 30 days for those who want to really try this on, and every day, 10, 15 minutes, and I would even present this as a challenge, you know, for, let's say, 30 days for those who want to really try this on, and every day 10-15 minutes.
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: Even if you don't feel like, oh, this isn't really doing much, I don't know what this is doing.
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: I could be being productive.
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: No, this is helping you open up the channels to be productive and and and introducing you to energies that maybe you don't usually get to feel in your day.
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: So, 10 or 15 minutes a day, listen to some music.
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: I have playlists, too that I can share, if you want to check those out that I have especially specifically curated.
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, for different vibes, like a dark kind of, like a taboo, the taboo vibe, the rage, the intense, that vibe, the more sensual soft vibe, and so just kind of playing with different activations in music, because music is activation and you don't want to just turn on shuffle on Spotify and be random about it, like we want to, you know, use something that is going to activate something and that's one baby step, like just literally that one thing.
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: Or if you want to start with a book and just kind of soften the resistance in the mind by bringing a little more intellectual understanding there is, let's see, one of my favorite books is especially for those who come from no religious backgrounds.
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: Especially is A Return to Eros by Mark Gaffney and Christina Kincaid.
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: That book it just helped so much click for me about bridging the gap between what's sacred and holy and godly and all of this and what's like erotic and sexual and supposed to be that.
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: So it's really purifying a lot of those distortions around that language there's also I also do have a self-pleasure course.
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: So if they're ready to actually go into practices and audios and visualizations and teachings on that, I have that.
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: It's called come as you are.
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: But yeah, there's three ways right there to get started.
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: I love it.
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: I've got a question that's going off on another, just another thing that came to me.
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: I'm curious, because you said you were dealing with autoimmune issues Back then.
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: Were you being who you are now?
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: Were you embodying you, or do you feel like there was a disconnect and that's what led to some of the health challenges?
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: Oh, absolutely.
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: I know that the massive disconnect between me and my heart was and how that played out in life is what led to that manifestation in my body A lot of times, with autoimmune think about this your body is attacking itself.
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: I don't like me.
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: I don't like who I am.
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: Fundamentally, I reject who I am.
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: I have to fight it, I have to resist it.
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: I have to try to destroy it.
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: I have to fight it.
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: I have to resist it.
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: I have to try to destroy it.
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: And so what?
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: What got me over that threshold of being in this hyperreactive state in my immune system was a combination of things, like it wasn't simply the physical, because the physical, the homeopathic remedies and the bone broth and all the things, the diet it didn't take me very far.
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: That was one piece that, yes, supported my body.
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: But also when I started doing the deep emotional purging, when I connected with my rage for the first time, when I yeah, when I went deeper into my grief, when I finally started to process the things that I've been, that I've been just deep down for about 20 years, at that point that opened the way I didn't again.
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: I wasn't yet exploring the sexual healing like reconnecting with this like infinite source of life.
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: Life, you know, force, energy.
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: But that's what?
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: That's what made it possible for me to explore that?
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: Because I was no longer afraid of my darkness.
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: I wasn't afraid of my rage, my grief, my feelings of resentment, my bitterness.
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: I'd met so many parts of me.
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's such a powerful reminder for people too, and Denise and I talk about this, and me especially, in my practice of like it's not just the diet, it's not just the supplements, and I wish people would let go of that.
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: I'm not saying go out and just eat shit, but it's like it's such a minor thing in the scheme of things, if you are not being authentically you, if you don't even know how to connect to your body.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: I have so many clients that come into me that are like I, you know cause?
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: I'll ask them well, what does your intuition say about this?
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: Because I want their feedback.
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: I don't want to be the one that's like do this, do this, do this?
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: They're like I don't, I don't know what my intuition says, I don't know how to listen anymore.
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: They're so disconnected.
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: And we also, um, I was having this conversation with someone at my last retreat.
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: She said you know what they say about listening to your gut feeling.
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, what about it?
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: I don't think it's reliable because if I go by my gut feeling it just feels like anxiety.
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: And I said, yeah, that's not your intuition, that's your fear.
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: And so how do you work with that?
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: You work with the body.
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: You don't just intellectualize and think about the shadow work.
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: This is part of the becoming.
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: The embodiment is if I could journey through a visual heart practice.
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: I don't know how to describe this without actually literally walking you through it, but I do these things where I guide people on these hard journeys and there's no plant medicine involved.
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: You know that will do it for you all on its own.
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: I'm like literally walking you through it and we're talking you through it, where you can feel deeper into your body, move with your body.
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: You know, maybe, maybe allow um, shaking or rattling loose of energy that's there and it's like that creates space for you to be able to tap into your intuition more.
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: So you define what your gut feeling actually is.
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: So you define what your gut feeling actually is.
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: It's not just your anxiety.
• 25:01
  Speaker 3: For me, my deep knowing, it's like if I had to physically place it in my body, it's right at the entrance of my womb, like right where my cervix meets my womb, like right there.
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: That's my wisdom center.
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: We'll call it so.
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: When I know, when I'm checking in with my body about something, that's where I get the yes and the no and I couldn't access that 10 years ago I'd be like how do I feel about this?
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: My stomach is a ball of anxiety because it's just fear, fear, fear, fear, fear.
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: So so much of this has to do with working with your nervous system too.
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: It's not just the diet and not just those things.
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: And then I love what you just said right now about.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: You know, I couldn't access that 10 years ago.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: How can you access it now is by constantly showing up for yourself and constantly practicing and constantly doing it.
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: So you know, kira and I always talking about with anything in any area in your life, and even with, like you know, with when I'm working with my kiddos.
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: There isn't a magic wand, you know like I work with parents all the time, and they, most of them, are the parents I work with.
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: They want to fix their children.
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: They are testing them up the ass so they figure out what the fuck is wrong with them.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: There's nothing wrong with them, you know.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: Sure, they have some issues, some things, some difficulties.
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: That we can help them, we can give them strategies, et cetera.
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: But, um, I just feel that you know, talk to us a little bit about that.
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: Like you know, talk to us a little bit about that.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: Like you know, what would you, what were you doing when you, when you had the moment of like fuck it, I want to give up, like nothing is showing up or whatever, because there will, there will be a moment like this right there, there is a divine timing, and that it ain't your timing right, sometimes it's the it is the divine timing that you got to trust.
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: However, that doesn't mean you're going to sit there, do nothing.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: That's me continuously going to show up.
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: So talk to us about this like, especially in moments of like, I don't want to yeah, yeah.
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: Well, one thing to remember is that not being in the mood to do something is not the same as not wanting to do it, and so I might not be in the mood to get up and move my body, but it's like, but I want this.
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: I want this not just because a I know how different I feel after I do it versus when I don't do it.
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: That initially did motivate my ass to get out of bed.
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: I would actually Denise, I appreciate this, I used to have to I would visualize just to get myself out of bed because I would just, you know, when I started doing these practices, it was I would be done before the kids would wake up for school.
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: So I had to get up really early.
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: Now, life is a little different, structures are different, everything's different, but I was just.
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: I was very committed to myself because I knew that if I had a visual of two paths, one path is I do this thing, I show up as this kind of mom, I'm this kind of partner and I feel like this creatively.
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: And the other path is I could see myself snapping at my kids.
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: I could see myself feeling frustrated, not being able to come up with something to write.
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: I could, you know, just, I could see the contrast and then I would like I'm getting out of bed, I'm doing this shit, you know.
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: Also.
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: I understand and I know not everyone has this, I guess, like foundation to work from initially, but I did understand already how it works to work towards something long term, when I used to be a long distance runner and I ran 100 miles a week.
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: I don't do that anymore.
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: A lot of those days are long, long, long, long, long long gone.
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: But we're talking high school.
• 28:31
  Speaker 3: You know, high school I was very, I was very structured with myself.
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: I had goals and I knew that there would be peaks and valleys and plateaus.
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: So there was something in me that was like, hey, if we hit a plateau, that's okay.
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: Hey, if we hit a plateau, that's okay, that's okay.
• 28:51
  Speaker 3: My invitation in this part of my journey was to see what is that initiating me into.
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: If I'm at a plateau, if I feel kind of bored, like I'm doing the same thing, okay Well, do the same practices, but open yourself to a different texture of energy.
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: Do the same practices, but work with different music, you know, do the same practices, but maybe in a different, slightly different order, you know, so kind of switching it up, because I think, human beings, we need that too, we need that consistency and we need a little bit of variety, otherwise it gets flat.
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: But there's an infinite number of different energies you can tap into.
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: You just have started creative.
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: I mean, but you said it.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: You gotta want this to yourself and you gotta be committed to yourself right, and this ties in with the piece of self-love that we always talk about.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: Love yourself enough to want to get out of your, get out of the bed and do the things, the rituals that you want to do, no matter what your mood.
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: Yes, and I love how you, you know, differentiate between not being in the mood, but then not wanting or wanting or whatever.
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: So you have a question Kira.
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: I feel, Can you tell by looking at my face?
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: I'm also curious because I think there's going to be a lot of misconceptions about embodiment, which you touched on.
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: But I'm wondering about the embodiment and the sexuality.
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: Are there misconceptions that you see out there of those together?
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: Yes, absolutely, and I think this is why, specifically, sexual shadow work can be so daunting for people to start, because they're scared of opening that kind of worms.
• 30:34
  Speaker 3: They're scared that, oh, if I start to look at my fantasies and my kinks and the things that arouse me in my mind space, then I'm going to be, I'm going to have to do that in real life, or I'm going to have to leave my family, or I'm going to have to go join a horror.
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: I mean, I was like no, you don't, I hear him.
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: However, you say that At a moment.
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, no, it's not that.
• 30:53
  Speaker 3: It's actually when we repress those parts of ourselves or we pretend that they don't exist, subconsciously they're driving.
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: They're driving our decisions, they're influencing more than we like to give them credit.
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: They're leading to disconnection and lack of arousal and lack of intimacy with the partner and lack of vibrance in ourselves in general.
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: So and this is part of the work that I do too Like, for example, the dark goddess, the dark feminine codes that I'm walking people through now.
• 31:23
  Speaker 3: It's very much about that.
• 31:24
  Speaker 3: Let's look at the taboo, and this means this has nothing to do with this part of you taking over your life.
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: It's not If that part of you is one of infinite parts of you that is on a bus and, let's say, your higher self is driving the bus and you and your current version of you is the passenger.
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: Any part of you that comes up and has something to say or needs to throw a tantrum and just be seen because you've been ignoring it for 40 years.
• 31:51
  Speaker 3: You know it.
• 31:52
  Speaker 3: Let it just listen to it.
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: Listen to her.
• 31:55
  Speaker 3: What does she need to feel safe?
• 31:56
  Speaker 3: What kind of space can you give her to express herself?
• 31:59
  Speaker 3: Maybe you do get up in the morning and put on your stilettos and dance like a stripper for 20 minutes.
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: Maybe that's what you need to express that part of yourself.
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: Maybe you do get a pole, you know?
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: Maybe you learn burlesque who knows Infinite number of things?
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: But then you send her back to her seat in your regular day-to-day life with her favorite snack and her music and the things that make her feel good and safe and happy and vibrant.
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: Okay, it's like she's not driving the bus with her munchies.
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, send her back with the I don't know a little bit of mushrooms or something, I don't know, I don't know whatever, whatever.
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: But it's just the point is she's not driving the, she's not driving the bus of your life.
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: And by you doing that, there's that, that extra part, that part of you that gives you an extra spark, that you're then like oh, there's this mystery about her, there's something, there's some like seductive and also reframing something like the word seductive, because it's not about manipulation at its core, it's about, it's about magnetism and playfulness, and I don't know about you, but I'm always being seduced by the universe.
• 33:10
  Speaker 3: Into the next step of my life.
• 33:11
  Speaker 3: It's like hey, look at this, do you like what you see?
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: Do you want some of that?
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: Okay, so the sexual aspect of this it's obviously more than what I can possibly address here, but what I really want to emphasize is that the key is to be willing to look at those parts of ourselves and kind of dance with it, play with it, explore what's there.
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: It helps to have safe spaces to where we can do this, whether that's an event, um a conscious kink community, um a coach or a mentor, a group of people, like at my retreats, we we explore this in depth as well, and it's a safe place and that in and of itself, is very healing.
• 34:00
  Speaker 3: So it's about dissolving the shame.
• 34:01
  Speaker 3: You know how, like bernie brown would say um, when you speak it, the shame shame loses its power.
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: So even just that, just having a conversation with someone about these things, helps.
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: Well, and I think what you're saying mostly goes back to awareness.
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: We don't know these things.
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: So if you're looking at your life and you're like I'm lacking over here, my sex life sucks, I'm embarrassed to wear that out, All of those things.
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: It goes back to awareness.
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: So when you can develop that, then you can start making changes.
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: But there's too many people just not wanting to be aware, I guess.
• 34:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, it's scary to have that awareness, because with that comes the responsibility.
• 34:44
  Speaker 3: And what are you going to do with that now?
• 34:47
  Speaker 3: You can't unknow it, you can't unknow it.
• 34:48
  Speaker 3: You can't unsee it, and there's something also to be said about living at your edge.
• 34:54
  Speaker 3: So there's all.
• 34:55
  Speaker 3: We all have an edge.
• 34:56
  Speaker 3: We all have a threshold.
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: There was a time where my threshold, my edge, was being naked at the beach, going to the nude beach or doing a nude shoot a little artistic, you know, shoot or or performing a certain way on stage when I did my music shows or talking about certain things online.
• 35:16
  Speaker 3: So for me, I think also with as much Scorpio as I have my chart too it's like we're going to go there, we're going to go there and we're going to see what's on that edge, and then that becomes a new normal, because you become that, you embody that, you welcome that into the fold, so it's no longer this taboo, crazy thing.
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: I love it because you're experimenting with yourself and you are worth it.
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: You're worth it 1000%, and that is what self-love is right and that's what we talk about all the time.
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: And I really love the bus example and that's a good reminder.
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: You know that.
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: Let those kiddos in the back, you know, throw the tantrum, ask them what they want.
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: What do you need?
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: We need a snack, we need this, and that's sometimes like I know that I talk to a lot of the parts of myself, you know, and I'm constantly, you know, talking to myself, so it's okay to look within.
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: And I also want to mention that you know we want to heal all parts of us.
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: This is this podcast called Heal Yourself Podcast.
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: So you just don't want to just be healing your health and your nervous system.
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: You do want to heal your sexuality.
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: You do want to heal, you know, everything that comes up.
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: And I mean I'm loving everything that we talked about today and I love the baby steps as we are nearing the end.
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: Do you mind, kind of like, you know, just maybe give us very tangible, quick, two things that someone can start with?
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: Or, you know, kind of like have the curiosity of it to get going with sexual healing yeah, with the sexual healing.
• 36:52
  Speaker 3: Oh, I also do want to say real quick, because kira did ask this, I didn't address this.
• 36:56
  Speaker 3: She said why would we want to basically liberate our inner slut?
• 36:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 37:00
  Speaker 3: So that specific question, why?
• 37:01
  Speaker 3: Because that is your connection with your life force.
• 37:04
  Speaker 3: Your sexual energy is your life force.
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: You're consistently, constantly, always being nourished by that.
• 37:09
  Speaker 3: This is where all my ideas come from, where my downloads or my creations, my courses, the book, you know everything, everything, everything.
• 37:15
  Speaker 3: It flows effortlessly from that space.
• 37:18
  Speaker 3: It's not like, oh, what am I going to make today, it's just flows, flows in.
• 37:22
  Speaker 3: So when you are tapped into that energy, you on a deeper level, it's not about being a slut, as in sleeping with everyone.
• 37:30
  Speaker 3: No, what was that insatiable part of me that I was denying that with my one partner I could go so deep, because that's my vision.
• 37:39
  Speaker 3: I have one partner and with one partner I can express all these different things of me and it's like, oh, and nobody else gets to see that Nobody.
• 37:47
  Speaker 3: But also that's nourishment for me, because I'm these different things of me and it's like, oh, and nobody else gets to see that nobody.
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: But also that's nourishment for me, because I'm always talking to that source and in a deeper level, I'm a slug for what the universe has to give me.
• 37:54
  Speaker 3: You know, I'm like give it all to me.
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: I want more, more, more.
• 37:58
  Speaker 3: So there's that.
• 38:00
  Speaker 3: So the sexual healing aspect.
• 38:01
  Speaker 3: I think one very practical thing is just to even just self-reflect and journal about what are the, what are the parts of my sexual nature or my desires, my fantasies that I'm, that I am afraid to tell anybody about, or that, or maybe sometimes they're so, so locked away that it's like I don't even have any, that that was also me for a very long time.
• 38:27
  Speaker 3: It's like, okay, well, what does kind of get my gears turning that makes me feel even a little bit of shame or a little bit of ick, or I feel like that's not okay, and then just kind of, and then just go deeper into that.
• 38:46
  Speaker 3: But it just begins with again, like kira was saying, the awareness of what's there and being willing to excavate that love it, love it.
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, start journaling, start being aware, start asking those questions that you haven't been wanting to ask, right, and I, I always tell my daughter and I tell myself that too, when you get offended or when you hear something that offends you or that triggers, we like to use the word activates here, not trigger.
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: We learned that from Dr.
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: Wood I like that too, whenever you activated or something's like oh my goodness, oh, they said that this is so insulting.
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: Look within, look, always look within and self-reflect, because it's something in there that's activating and it's making it sound offensive.
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: So if we said anything about healing or sexuality or whatever, you're like, oh hell, no, I'm not going to do that, or no, your girls are crazy.
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: Just start journaling about it and ask why?
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: Why are they?
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: crazy.
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: Why am I not wanting to?
• 39:51
  Speaker 3: hear it, yeah, and what is it about them that I wish I had?
• 39:54
  Speaker 3: Like, if you see someone who is sleeping with everybody and has no shame about it, it's like, how does she get everything she wants?
• 40:01
  Speaker 3: Like, who is she to think she can have whatever she wants on her terms?
• 40:04
  Speaker 3: And it's like, oh, that's me too, I want that, but in a different, different way.
• 40:07
  Speaker 3: Or who is she to think that you know, she can dress like that and and and, just you know, not worry about, oh, I want that too.
• 40:14
  Speaker 3: I want that level of freeness of expression.
• 40:16
  Speaker 3: I want to be seen too yeah, we all do.
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: We all do love it.
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: Anything else, miss kira or lucy, that you want to add toward the end that maybe we didn't talk about?
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: I think we talked about a lot of things.
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm good.
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: Lucy if there's anything you intuitively feel like needs to be said, have at it.
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: Otherwise it's been great.
• 40:42
  Speaker 3: I mean, there's so much there already, I know that people can really dissect what we shared already.
• 40:49
  Speaker 3: I think just one piece about right now the collective energy too.
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: I don't know how much you all talk about that really here in the space, but it's very dark, feminine, rising vibes, and there's a lot of opportunity for that to be very distorted and come out in a way of just destroying for the sake of destroying, vengeance, manipulation, and there is a way to channel this energy in a really purposeful and love-centered way.
• 41:25
  Speaker 3: That doesn't mean it looks pretty or that it's not messy, but there is a way to to work deeper with this energy.
• 41:32
  Speaker 3: So I am coming up with more resources every day right now for people who are ready to do that.
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: Awesome.
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: I also always add that always, always, always, give yourself grace and give yourself permission to be there for yourself and to make the mistakes and to mess up and love on yourself and be graceful with yourself, Just like you are with a best friend who comes to you who's in need.
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: You don't, you know, kick her while she's down.
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: You actually are there for her.
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: So I always we always kind of like end with this, but, lucy, tell us where can people find you and what is something that is on your website that they can start exploring, whether it's paid or free?
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: And I mean, I know you have a lot of amazing programs and and you still have I think you still have your books on Amazon.
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: I highly recommend them.
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: If they are on.
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: Amazon.
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: Buy them.
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: I have them actually, and I love the morning ones so much that I bought extra and I sent them to other people.
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: Tell us all the details.
• 42:39
  Speaker 3: I love this.
• 42:39
  Speaker 3: Well, all the current offerings will be at lucylampicom and right now, the things that are really front and center are the Dark F codes that force, and, as well as the retreat coming up in may, I have one more retreat this year in may here in Ecuador, the Amazon.
• 42:56
  Speaker 3: And then, finally, I have a bundle of eight different courses from self pleasure, wild feminine embodiment, sensual movement, voice activation and that is also on my website the Erotic Liberation Bundle.
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: Awesome.
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much for being here.
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: So many wonderful pearls, thank you for having me.
• 43:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: Well, guys, you know the drill Find us on Instagram, leave us some comments, let us know what you want to hear about, leave us a review and we'll see you on the next episode.