Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap PODCAST: SOAP Automated System
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: One eight hundred d ui Away now offering free remote
- 0:02Speaker 1: consultations by phone or video conference for any criminal offense.
- 0:06Speaker 1: Trust Brooke, Jeffrey and Jose's friends with a free remote
- 0:09Speaker 1: consultation from Bradley Johnson Lawyers. Visit one eight hundred d
- 0:12Speaker 1: Uyowa dot com or call eight hundred away. Wow, we're
- 0:16Speaker 1: finally here, the top ten phone taps of the year. Yeah.
- 0:22Speaker 1: I feel like I'm gonna cry. Yeah, we all made
- 0:25Speaker 1: it through the year, you guys. You know what, it's
- 0:28Speaker 1: not the holiday season until we counting down phone taps, right,
- 0:31Speaker 1: I mean, we still have another month to go, but
- 0:33Speaker 1: you know, let's this is the app for us. Yeah. Yeah,
- 0:36Speaker 1: and the top ten phone taps are powered by Xbox
- 0:39Speaker 1: Series X. Yeah. I would I would say all of
- 0:43Speaker 1: us are pretty competitive on this show, you know, all
- 0:46Speaker 1: each one of us, Brooke, Jose and I want to
- 0:48Speaker 1: be voted into the top ten, right because you know
- 0:51Speaker 1: that just shows that we did a good job. But um,
- 0:54Speaker 1: who is going to sneak in at number ten to
- 0:57Speaker 1: kick us off? Okay it's a lowest of the ten,
- 1:00Speaker 1: I mean still top ten, okay, sor right, I don't care.
- 1:04Speaker 1: Number ten is our own Brook five. I got participation ribbon.
- 1:12Speaker 1: This is just the first of ten. But in today's
- 1:16Speaker 1: she calls a guy who's getting pranked by his co
- 1:19Speaker 1: workers in a warehouse. Apparently he's been late a couple
- 1:23Speaker 1: times this year, and the new management aka Brook, is
- 1:27Speaker 1: about to give him a little surprise test. Oh yes,
- 1:32Speaker 1: I have a feeling he's not gonna pass. It's your
- 1:34Speaker 1: number ten phone tap of the year right now, and remember,
- 1:38Speaker 1: after you hear it, be calling number twenty five and
- 1:40Speaker 1: you'll win an awesome prize pack from Xbox Series X.
- 1:43Speaker 1: Yes number one hit music station Jeffreys ten Phone Taps
- 1:51Speaker 1: of Christmas pared bydy All New Xbox Series X number ten. Hello. Hi,
- 1:59Speaker 1: this is Lisa with Corporate HR. I'm looking for Keith. Yeah,
- 2:03Speaker 1: this is Keith. Oh hi Keith. Nice to officially speak
- 2:06Speaker 1: with you. I took over for Carrie after the merger. Okay, yeah, yeah,
- 2:11Speaker 1: thanks for talking with me today. I know everyone's trying
- 2:13Speaker 1: to get their bearings. I see here. Are you work
- 2:16Speaker 1: in the warehouse? How do you like that? Yeah? I
- 2:18Speaker 1: mean I like it. You know, I've been here for
- 2:20Speaker 1: almost three years, so yeah, I like it. That's good.
- 2:23Speaker 1: So I was just calling today because a new company
- 2:26Speaker 1: that we work for. They're really on the cutting edge
- 2:29Speaker 1: of technology and when it comes to their products. Oh cool. Yeah,
- 2:33Speaker 1: so they're looking for ways to implement it in the
- 2:35Speaker 1: workplace as well. Oh okay, that's cool, that's good. How
- 2:40Speaker 1: do they want to do that? Well, for example, all
- 2:44Speaker 1: of the employees here will be required to participate in
- 2:46Speaker 1: something we call SOAP. What was that? Oh? Excuse me,
- 2:52Speaker 1: it's a lingo thing. It stands for Skill Optimization Artificial
- 2:55Speaker 1: Intelligence Program SOAP. Oh all right, well that's that's kind
- 2:59Speaker 1: of a funny acronym. I've never heard that before. So
- 3:02Speaker 1: sure the guys are going to kick out of that totally.
- 3:05Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure they will, and in fact, it's
- 3:07Speaker 1: why I called today. See, the AI program has been
- 3:10Speaker 1: installed on our phone systems already. Oh I'm the company
- 3:14Speaker 1: for Yeah, I can start the automation if you're okay
- 3:17Speaker 1: with it. Okay, Yeah, I don't know exactly what's going
- 3:21Speaker 1: to happen, but I'm ready to get soaped. Okay, So
- 3:25Speaker 1: just answer a few questions and after you're done, I'll
- 3:27Speaker 1: be right back with you. No, okay, all right, Okay,
- 3:30Speaker 1: here we go. Hello Keith, Welcome to soap. How are
- 3:36Speaker 1: you doing today? I'm pretty good. That is good. My
- 3:43Speaker 1: name is Samantha. First off, can you tell me what
- 3:47Speaker 1: you think your biggest strength is when it comes to
- 3:49Speaker 1: your job. Oh? Yeah, my biggest strength, Well, I guess
- 3:56Speaker 1: it's my work ethic. I'm a pretty strong worker. I
- 4:00Speaker 1: just coordinated the soap database to access your time clock files.
- 4:04Speaker 1: And your statement regarding hard work appears to be untruthful.
- 4:11Speaker 1: I mean I do work pretty hard, I would say
- 4:13Speaker 1: a majority of the time. And I don't take a
- 4:17Speaker 1: lot of sick days either. In the last two years,
- 4:21Speaker 1: you've called in sick over twelve times. I didn't know
- 4:27Speaker 1: it's really that many, But everybody calls in sick every
- 4:31Speaker 1: now and then, you know, every once in a while,
- 4:33Speaker 1: So twelve times is three hundred percent greater than our
- 4:37Speaker 1: company average. I don't know what to say here. That's
- 4:43Speaker 1: just not very accurate. You don't have to say it.
- 4:47Speaker 1: Your records already speak for themselves, and the performance is
- 4:50Speaker 1: considered poor at best. Shame shame shame on you, Keith.
- 4:56Speaker 1: There's got to be some misunderstanding for coming in late
- 4:59Speaker 1: and abusing sick time privileges. You will need to pay
- 5:02Speaker 1: the company back two thousand, three hundred and fifteen dollars.
- 5:06Speaker 1: Make sure to tell your human resource contact that amount.
- 5:09Speaker 1: It has been a pleasure speaking with you. Whoa, whoa wait,
- 5:13Speaker 1: whoa whoa whoa. Hi, Hi, I'm back on This is Lisa.
- 5:17Speaker 1: How did it go? Yeah? Not not great? What do
- 5:23Speaker 1: you mean? I think there's been a mix up in
- 5:26Speaker 1: my records. The computer was saying that I owed the
- 5:30Speaker 1: company money for being late, which that that's not that
- 5:34Speaker 1: can't be true. Yeah. Well, I hate to tell you this, Keith,
- 5:37Speaker 1: but that computer is the AI and SOAP program is
- 5:41Speaker 1: ninety nine percent accurate. Well I must be that one
- 5:45Speaker 1: percent that it's not right because this is most certainly.
- 5:48Speaker 1: I mean, I've been here for three years. I've been
- 5:49Speaker 1: a loyal worker. No, maybe Siri can go back or
- 5:53Speaker 1: whatever her name was, Atha, Samantha is our AI. Oh
- 5:57Speaker 1: she's really been great. Yeah, you should give her a
- 6:00Speaker 1: raise for sure. Anyway, I gotta get back to work here,
- 6:03Speaker 1: you I mean, I'm actually technically i'll break now. Yeah,
- 6:05Speaker 1: you should definitely get back, and Samantha to record this.
- 6:08Speaker 1: Come on now, I'm sorry to laugh. You should definitely
- 6:11Speaker 1: get back to work. We've been wasting your time, Samantha
- 6:14Speaker 1: isn't real say that again. I'm sorry, this is actually
- 6:19Speaker 1: a prank phone call. What are you? What are you
- 6:21Speaker 1: talking about this sexually Brooke from the radio show Brook
- 6:25Speaker 1: and Jeffrey in the Morning, I'm doing a phone tap
- 6:28Speaker 1: on you. Man. Oh my god, you're so stressed out.
- 6:34Speaker 1: Your coworker Greg set you up. Oh my god, Greg. Yeah,
- 6:38Speaker 1: he said you were all worried about the new company
- 6:40Speaker 1: merger and he wanted to miss you Ti because you
- 6:42Speaker 1: don't know. I mean, with everything going on, it's like,
- 6:44Speaker 1: oh man, the robots are coming in. I'd watched that
- 6:47Speaker 1: sick time. Greg. I don't know how much lugger you're
- 6:49Speaker 1: going to have a job. I didn't want to admit
- 6:52Speaker 1: to it, but those percentages are pretty right on. So
- 6:57Speaker 1: you didn't give me a heart attack over you. That
- 7:00Speaker 1: was your number ten phone tap of twenty twenty