Latest / Healing Her Story with Riva Jean-Paul / Moon Phases & Feminine Power: Your Weekly Cycle Sync | The Premenstrual Shadow: What’s Really Behind PMS, Anxiety & the Inner Critic

Transcript

Moon Phases & Feminine Power: Your Weekly Cycle Sync | The Premenstrual Shadow: What’s Really Behind PMS, Anxiety & the Inner Critic · Healing Her Story with Riva Jean-Paul

• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, and welcome to today's episode of the Healing Her Story podcast.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: If this is your first time, welcome.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: I trust that you have found your way to today's episode in your perfect right time and way.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are returning, welcome back.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's so lovely to be reconnecting with you again this week.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: I know that we missed our cycle check-in last week, which felt quite significant to me.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: That was the first cycle check-in I have missed for this show since I have started it about almost two years ago.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: So if you are one of the people who have been tuning in every week, I send my apologies and I thank you for your patience because that was really about honoring me and where I was in my rhythm and where I am in this season of life that I'm in now.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: I've shared a little bit over the last few episodes, but if you didn't catch it, or again, if you're just tuning in here, I started a master's program in September.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: So I feel like this first quarter is going to be a period of readjustment and maybe even the first three quarters.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: So I'll have the winter one in the spring to really find what my rhythm is in this new season of life that I'm in.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll weave it a little bit more as it's relevant as we're going through today's episode.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: But I just wanted to start there warmly welcoming you into this space if this is your first time here and just acknowledging the um the gap in our episodes last week.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: It was not an easy decision, and also it was the most right decision for me at that time.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: But again, I'm I'm happy to be here with you again this week and really looking forward to another juicy episode as we are continuing to move through Scorpio season and we are exploring some of the shadow aspects that we can experience in different parts of the and the different phases of the cycle.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: And the one that we're in right now is a really rich fertile ground for growth and for reflection and for recalibration.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: So I invite you to maybe take a moment here to set yourself up for today's conversation.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe that's slowing down, maybe that's putting in some headphones, maybe that's moving into a different area in your home.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: Because I feel like this conversation is gonna bring up a lot of reflection for you, as it definitely brought up a lot of reflection for me feeling into today's episode.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I do want to take a moment before we dive into on it, uh honor, excuse me, where we are in the calendar right now.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: We have just moved through Sawan, which happened over the weekend.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: And today is Dio de los Muertos.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so, however, you may resonate with this time, there is a thinning of the veil, and we have more access to the other side, if you will.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: And this time for me is so potent and so ripe with a remembrance, with an honoring.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: So, I do want to take a moment here as we're getting started to acknowledge that.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: Because interestingly enough, this part of the cycle is about approaching death, to put it quite plainly, and that is what Sawan and Dio de los muertos are about, is honoring those who are not here.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll share a little bit more about my personal insights and reflections on this particular, but I think it's just really important to mark this time to honor this time, whether it's through your ancestry or through your spirituality, or simply through a felt sense that something is changing in the air right now.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: This is a really sacred time of year.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: So, in this minute of silence that we'll take here in a moment, I invite you to, of course, spin the moment however you would like to.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe seeing what it would be like to honor that which is no longer here.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe that's a loved one who has passed.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe that is something within you that is dying.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's an old version of yourself.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe you just want to sit with the idea of death for a moment here, which I know it can be a little uncomfortable for some.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: So again, feel free to take this time and to spend it however you may need.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: But that is what I'm gonna honor here in this moment.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: In this minute of silence is a minute of silence for my ancestors and for my loved ones who have passed this year.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: And when we come back, I'll share a little bit more about my personal um kind of experience with this time.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: Our one minute will begin now.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'll be honest.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: I was quite enjoying that time to sit, to be, and I find the quiet so supportive during this time.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: And it was also quite beautiful and meaningful to sit with the idea of death for a moment, and as I was noticing my breath, I felt into breath as life, and how beautiful, what a gift it is to just sit here and breathe.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: Simple yet profound.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: Life is incredibly short, and while there is a predictability to the functioning of our life, our next moments are not necessarily guaranteed.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: Death is walking by our side wherever we go.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: At any moment, life could change.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: At any moment, life could no longer be.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: And to reflect on what it means to live life in that way, knowing that our next moment is not guaranteed.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: I know that when I feel into that, I start to live my life in a very different way.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe that's why I, of course, am in a cycle uh phase of my cycle where I am starting to have my energy returning.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm cycle day eight today.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I did notice today just a more openness to presence and connection and really being with the people that I was with over the last several days.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe it was because of this really beautiful experience I had over the weekend.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: I hosted a sisterhood gathering, something that I do a few times a year for the women that I'm closest to.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: And we had what's called a dumb supper, where we invited in some of our ancestors and loved ones past, and we ate dinner in silence.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: And in that silence, we listened to some of the messages that our loved ones or ancestors wanted to share with us.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: And all of us received such beautiful and potent insights and messages.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: We had pen and paper by our sides, and we each had a page just filled with these beautiful insights and reflections.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: And it was such a meaningful and profound experience.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'll definitely be hosting it again.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: I hadn't realized how potent and powerful and how healing it would be.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I hope that however you may connect with this time, that you can take even just a moment or two, even if this is the moment, to reflect on these themes.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because as a society, we we really don't take the time to stop and sit with the idea of death and what a gift it is to experience life.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: That was quite the long intro today, not exactly as I'd planned, I feel like, because I had I wasn't here last week.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: I had a little bit more to share.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: But I hope that was helpful for you in some way.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: We'll start to transition now into the energy of the moon this week.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: This week we are tuning to the energy of the waning moon.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: The waning moon is associated with the season of autumn, which is the time of year that we're in right now in the northern hemisphere.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's associated with the element of metal in traditional Chinese medicine.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: And in the menstrual cycle, it's associated with the pre-menstrual or the luteal phase.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: And as I was just saying, we are right in this time seasonally.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: If you generally bleed around the new moon, which will be happening at the end of this week, then this is about where you are in your cycle right now.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think there can be enough conversation about this phase because this is one of the most overlooked and misunderstood parts of the cycle, both on a lunar, seasonal, um, and even on a menstrual cycle level as well.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: And in terms of the life cycle of a woman as well, because this time is also associated with pet um with perimenopause and the transition into menopause.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: And that is still, you know, despite some growing awareness, is a deeply underserved population.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: As a society, we do a real disservice to women and not preparing them for such a significant physiological and psycho-spiritual transition.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: So today, as we continue to move through Scorpio season, we're exploring the shadows of this time.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: And then at the end of the episode, I'm going to share some things that can be most supportive during this time.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: So be sure to stay until the end.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: We live in a culture that constantly tells us to perform, produce, to go, to show up, and to do.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: And the biggest shadow of the waning moon and the premenstrual phase is simply the resistance to slowing down.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: I see so many people who seem to have an inability or an unwillingness to slow down and to do less.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to be really clear about something.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: This is not your fault.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: This is not a character flaw.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: This is a byproduct of the environment that we live in.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: It is a failing of the patriarchal linear system by which we have all been conditioned to operate.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_00: If you struggle to slow down, to let go of things, to pull back, know that you are not broken, and that you are the product of a culture that has never given you the permission to do otherwise, or the blueprint to do otherwise.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel this in myself too.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: Last week, when I missed an episode, I was sick, I was stretched in, and yet there was still this voice saying, push through, get it done, just get just get the episode recorded, don't fall behind.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I listened to it, sure, I heard it, and I didn't allow it to drive me.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: That choice, that choice that I made to not let that voice win, that is one of the many beautiful things that menstrual psycho awareness has made available to me, knowing that this phase is coming, knowing what this phase is really offering to me, and then having enough self-trust to actually honor it.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: So if you've been white knuckling your way through this time of the cycle, maybe even this time of the year, or maybe this is something that you really struggle with each month, girl.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: I see you, and I want you to know that there's another way, and that your cycle is the blueprint.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_00: Beyond the cultural conditioning, there are some real physiological things that are happening during the premenstrual phase that are worth understanding.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_00: PMS and PMDD can bring on symptoms that are very intense and extreme.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I've been having some really interesting conversations with some of my peers lately about how significantly our trauma histories can influence the severity of what we experience here.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: This is not just in your head.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: And there is actually some limited but research to support this.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_00: As we talked about in last week's, not last week's, but in the last um cycle sync episode, unprocessed trauma can dysregulate, uh dysregulate the HPA access in ways that can make this part of the cycle especially activating.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: On a psycho-spiritual level, the inner critic also tends to get very loud during the premenstrual phase.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: This is that harsh, critical, judgmental voice that zeroes in on everything that hasn't worked, everything that still needs fixing, everything you think you should be that you aren't.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: I know this voice well, too well.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_00: And as I've learned both from experience and from science, that being critical and hard on ourselves, especially during this time, triggers the amygdala, which also spikes cortisol, so which is the stress hormone.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_00: So the self-criticism literally physiologically increases the anxiety.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: And now you're just in this perpetual loop.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so understanding that loop, becoming aware of that loop is the first step to getting out of it.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: Because of the decrease in estrogen, anxiety can also be really high during this part of the cycle because estrogen is that buffer to our nervous system that gives us that sense of I can, of feeling good, of feeling capable of taking on life's challenges.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_00: So as that decreases, our anxiety starts to go up.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: And we talked about this in the follicular phase episode as well.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's two sides of the same coin.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: And layered on top of all of this, as we move deeper into autumn, which is the season that we're in here in the northern hemisphere, seasonal depression can begin to creep in as the nights get longer.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_00: And just to stop it off, if you're on a fertility fertility journey wanting to conceive, this phase also carries its own particular kind of weight.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's this period of unknown or not knowing.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the profound invitations of menstrual psycho awareness is learning how to navigate the unknown.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: One of the dark arts.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_00: And this is a hormone of connection, touch, intimacy, and resourcing is a practice of really anchoring our awareness into what feels okay.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_00: And there's a somatic um, this is a a tool or technique or process, if you will, that I walk clients through.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: And it's also about becoming aware of what feels neutral.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: And then if we can get there, it's also about maybe feeling what's pleasurable and comforting.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_00: And what it's doing is it's giving the nervous system a counterweight to the discomfort.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: And this serves as an anchor for where you want to go and not just an endless dive into what's hard and uncomfortable.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not to say that we want to bypass the discomfort.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_00: We need to be able to sit with the discomfort.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_00: And in order to be able to sit with the discomfort, we need to be resourced enough to actually do it.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: Otherwise, if it's too much too soon, it'll completely overwhelm, flood the nervous system.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_00: And now we've maybe done more harm than good.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_00: This is also something that Dr.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_00: Peter Levine talks about, this idea of titration and the idea that we move toward the difficult material slowly in little doses with enough room to come back to what feels okay in between.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: We can't just stay in what I would call from one of my teachers the trauma vortex indefinitely.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_00: We need the resources, we need the anchors, and for the female nervous system specifically, this is not optional.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_00: It is essential to the healing process.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_00: The second thing that has really helped me specifically for the inner critic is a practice of reflecting and celebrating before I reach the part of my cycle where the inner critic gets real loud.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_00: Taking time to genuinely, genuinely look at what's going well.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_00: What can I be proud of?
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_00: What can I trust myself around?
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_00: Because when we are in that critical loop, being hard on ourselves, again, this spikes are cortisol and high cortisol levels do not help with anxiety.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: And again, this isn't about bypassing, it's about deliberately cultivating gratitude and self-acknowledgement because it helps to interrupt that loop on a physiological level.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_00: So they're not just feel-good interventions, these are um nervous system recalibration tools, if you will.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to offer you an invitation.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_00: If all this is resonating with you, next week I'm offering my monthly attunement call.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_00: This is a new offer that I'm going to be experimenting with for the next little bit.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm really excited about this space because I see so many women struggle with this aspect specifically, this curiosity around somatic work, about being connected to the body, and also like going about it in an intellectual way, which is quite ironic because insight alone isn't enough.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_00: We can talk about somatic work till the cows come home, but until you have actually had the experience in your body, in your nervous system, it's basically impossible to experience the benefits of it.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_00: So this is a space designed to come and experience somatic work rather than just reading about it online or trying some quick little tools that you might come across on TikTok.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_00: Because, like I said, I can explain resourcing to you in a hundred different ways, but until you actually feel and experience that resource in your body, it's not going to land the same way.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_00: So this is here for you if you're ready to take that next step.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna leave all of the details for you in the show notes.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_00: Again, if this is resonating, I would genuinely love to have you there.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_00: And as far as over here on the show, I plan to be back next week.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_00: We'll see what life has in store for me.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_00: I do have some really wonderful guest conversations on my calendar, so you can look out for those soon.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I will continue to follow my creative energy and share solo episodes as I feel inspired to do so.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for tuning in.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: Take good care.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_00: Bye for now.