Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap PODCAST: Eagle Outfitters

Transcript

Phone Tap PODCAST: Eagle Outfitters · Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Jubles phone taps are hilarious, but being charged with duy
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: is no laughing matter. Trust Jubles friends at one eight
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: hundred dy away. If you're charged with a criminal offense,
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: your one call is one eight hundred d uy away.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Proud supporters of Jubles phone taps, what eight hundred day?
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Can you go? Outsiders? Tous? Gina? Well, hello, Gina, Hi,
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: how can I help you? That's an interesting question. I
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: recently ordered some clothes from your establishment, and I am
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: extremely disappointed. Okay, well, I'm really sorry to hear that.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: What how are you? Are you? Are you though? Yes?
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: What seems to be the problem, Well, nothing fits, not
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: even remotely clothes. Okay, I'm so sorry. What would you
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: mind just being more specific? Were they the wrong size?
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: Or not only were they the wrong size, but they're
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: the entirely wrong species? Excuse me? I tried putting them
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: on Hector and there was literally no way to get
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: his wings through the sleeves, no way at all. I'm sorry,
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: I'm not really following you with my eagle, Hector. The
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: clothes don't fit him at all? Do your eagles? Yes,
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: you know the birds that you claim to make clothing
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: for um, sir, We don't make clothes for eagles. Okay,
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: all right, don't sass me. Your store is called Eagle Outfitters,
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: and you're trying to tell me it's not a store
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: for eagle clothes. It's the name of the store. I know.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: It's the name of the store. That is my point.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: That's why I was excited to purchase some cardigans and
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: a nice leather jacket for my eagle. He has a
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: big date this weekend. Nothing to wear. I'm trying to
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: mate him and I need him to look his best.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: You own, you own him eagles. I own four eagles.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: But the eagle we're talking about here is named Hector.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: Are you serious? Are you? Are you serious? Sir? Do
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: I sound like I'm Joe? No, I'm I'm okay. I
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: want to help you, really I do. I We don't
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: sell clothes for eagles or birds. It's for people. Excuse me, Yeah, sir,
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: it's a brand name. It's not literal. I'm sorry for
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: the misunderstanding with the with the name, but it's not
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: for That's ridiculous. Tell me something. Why would you name
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: the store Eagle Outfitters if you don't actually outfit Eagles.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: Don't you think that's false advertising? I think I have
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: a kid. I don't. I didn't. I didn't select the
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: name of the store. I just work here, and that's
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: that's just the store's name. I don't think they're trying
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: to exactly. Yes, that's the store's name, and a store's
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: name tells customers what you buy there, creates and Beryl sells,
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: creates and barrels, Burger King sells burgers. Simple, Well, sir,
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: with all due respect to what you're saying, I think
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: you know Banana Republic doesn't sell bananas. Oh okay, Wisenheimer,
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: you're gonna just make up store names now to try
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: and play me as a fool. Is that what you're doing? Oh? Hey,
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: I'm just gonna make it. That's a real store. There's
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: another one in our mall. If you've been to our mall,
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: Banana Republic, yes, and you're telling me they don't sell bananas? No,
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: then what do they sell? Se so close for bananas? Look,
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: what are you trying to pull here? I have never
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: seen a clothing store for bananas. Bananas don't wear clothes.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: They already have little clothes outside of their inside. Please,
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: I don't know you. I'm just an employee and I
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: don't know what to tell you. How about would you
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: like to just speak to my manager about this? I
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: would like to speak to your ranking ornithologist. Please, what
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: you're ranking ornithologist? Oh my god? You know a person
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: who's an expert on birds like eagles? I would like
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: to talk to them, because I don't feel like you're
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: telling so we don't have an eagle expert. It's a
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: clothing store for people. I keep me more queer than that.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, it's for humans. It's human clothes. Well why
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: don't you name it human outfitters then, so people like
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: me don't get confused? You know, that's a great question,
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: and I just I apologize that I really cannot rename
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: the store for you. I'm sorry. Well, now I'm out
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: a bunch of money and I've got a big box
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: of clothes with big holes in it. Now right, okay? Well,
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: I can't do anything else for you. I would love to.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: All I can suggest is that you bring the clothes
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: back to the store and maybe it's get a refund
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: or some store credit. But how about you just let
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: me talk to your boyfriend Nathan. Then he'll know exactly
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: what I'm talking about. Is he there? I'm sorry, who
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: did you say you were? What was your name? My
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: name is actually Jewel from brook and Jewel in the
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: morning doing a phone tap on you and your boyfriend
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: Nathan set you up. I'm confused. What is this? It's
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: a prank phone call. Your boyfriend Nathan said that you
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: just started this brand new job and you want to
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: to prank you. It's a joke. Oh my god. Oh okay,
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: oh thank god. Welcome to your new job. Oh thank you.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: Even if you don't sell the thing that you actually
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: advertise that you sell, Yeah, okay, I guess we're gonna
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: get some close reactor for you that all right. Now,
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: I'm off to call Banana Republic because I've got some
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: business to deal with there now too. I'm sure it
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: would be surprised by their inventory.