Latest / The Hypnotist / Reclaiming the Room Hypnosis for Betrayal Trauma Recovery

Transcript

Reclaiming the Room Hypnosis for Betrayal Trauma Recovery · The Hypnotist

0:05
Welcome to The Hypnotist, the show that gives you inside
0:09
access to cutting edge hypnosis with real clients facing
0:12
genuine. Issues.
0:13
Brought to you by The Hypnotherapist, demanded by
0:16
celebrities CE OS and even royalty Adam Cox, these
0:21
recordings took place live from Evans Clinic in London's world
0:24
famous Harley Street. So get yourself comfortable and
0:31
enjoy today's episode of The Hypnotist.
0:39
Hi. It's Adam here.
0:41
This is a hypnosis session all about betrayal.
0:45
And I was working with a client that was very, very intelligent,
0:51
very, very capable and very knowledgeable about the way that
0:56
the mind works. And they themselves had a lot of
0:59
experience in the world of therapy.
1:01
They were on the receiving end of a betrayal.
1:05
They there was infidelity. Within their relationship and
1:09
there was a breach of. Trust on more than one occasion,
1:12
and the way they were dealing with that was a quest for the
1:17
truth of really digging deep and finding what happened.
1:21
And they found out an incredible amount of what happened.
1:24
They were still in that relationship, Things were
1:27
starting to be restored, but there was still a feeling of
1:30
anger and resentment, and they were still thinking a lot about
1:33
the other person that got involved in that infidelity.
1:38
This is really a session about acceptance, not forgiveness.
1:44
Forgiveness can always come later, if at all, but acceptance
1:48
that actually, if you continue to invest in the painful
1:52
element, you actually lose what you really want, which is a good
1:57
quality life and a good quality relationship.
2:00
And it uses a metaphor of a squatter.
2:02
A squatter is a term we use in England if someone illegally
2:06
starts living in a place that isn't theirs.
2:10
So just imagine that you've got this big apartment building or a
2:13
big house and someone illegally starts living in that room and
2:16
they're living rent free and they're using electricity and
2:19
water and they're watching the TV, they're watching Netflix and
2:21
they're not paying a thing. Just imagine that.
2:24
That is a metaphor for someone else that was involved in your
2:30
relationship as the other person and they're living rent free in
2:34
your head. It's about time to evict them.
2:37
And that's really the essence of this hypnosis session.
2:42
Now, if you like the idea of working with me and you're not
2:45
sure where to start, I would encourage you to watch a webinar
2:48
that I've created. And the webinar is called Why
2:51
Hypnotherapy Works When Everything else or lots of other
2:55
things aren't working. And the reason for that is that
2:58
a lot of people that try hypnosis have tried other things
3:01
first and they haven't got the result that they're looking for.
3:04
So I've created a webinar to kind of explain.
3:06
All of the. Questions that normally come up
3:09
when people are considering working with me, so if that's of
3:12
interest, check that out. That's going to be in the
3:15
comments in the description of the show notes.
3:18
Check that out. For now though, you might get
3:20
some value from this session. So find a quiet, comfortable
3:23
place where you won't be distracted or disturbed.
3:26
Relax and enjoy the session. Take a deep breath in, and as
3:58
you breathe in, breathe in that slow, long, relaxing breath.
4:05
And as you exhale, allow your eyes to close and with your eyes
4:14
closed feel a wonderful ripple of release your eyes down into
4:20
your jaw, neck and then shoulders.
4:25
Breathing in a wonderful feeling of resourceful relaxation and
4:33
exhaling just releasing any pent up pressure stress.
4:42
Imagine every outward breath is a release valve.
4:49
So allow yourself to let go with every exhale.
5:01
And as you breathe in and breathe down, give yourself the
5:08
acknowledgement, the acceptance that for a period of time, ever
5:19
since something was revealed to you, a betrayal of trust, new
5:31
knowledge that once known, couldn't be unknown.
5:38
And that part within you awakened some part of you that
5:44
has been on watch, scanning, picking at threads and pulling
5:57
at them, following them, checking for more.
6:02
And that part has been doing exactly what it was asked to do.
6:10
It's been protecting you, seeking reassurance, checking
6:20
that there isn't anything left unknown, searching for the very
6:26
information that would finally allow you to make sense of
6:31
things or for you to feel safe. But just here, right now, in
6:42
this particular time, I'm going to gently ask that that part
6:49
stand down. Not forever, just for now.
6:56
Because right now there is nothing to investigate, nothing
7:02
to discover, nothing to verify. Just this space, just your
7:11
breath. Just the rare permission to
7:15
simply stop. And I want you to scan your body
7:22
for any changes that you feel when you give yourself that
7:27
permission to stand down. Maybe it's a slight looseness or
7:35
heaviness in the shoulders. Maybe it's a release somewhere
7:40
in the chest, tension in the jaw softening or loosening, the eyes
7:49
resting completely behind those closed lids, And you've been the
7:57
most alert person in the room for a long time, vigilant, on
8:04
guard. And that alertness is
8:09
exhausting. But rest is not weakness.
8:16
Rest is what allows you to do everything else better,
8:21
including the things that actually matter.
8:27
I'd like you to imagine a staircase taking you from your
8:32
conscious to your unconscious mind.
8:36
And as I count down from 12:50, just imagine walking down that
8:41
staircase from the conscious to the unconscious. 10 That first
8:49
step. 9 the second step, as you allow each number to carry you
8:57
further from the scanning and the searching, 87 deeper into
9:05
your own stillness and peace, six then five halfway down the
9:14
staircase now. 4 The investigation can wait.
9:20
It has waited long enough, and the most important thing now is
9:27
to give yourself permission to reflect from where you are now,
9:33
not where you have been. 321 And as you leave the staircase, I
9:42
want you to find yourself here in your own space, your own
9:48
quiet. And everything we do from here
9:53
belongs to you. There's something that needs to
10:02
be said, acknowledged and accepted, Not just heard but
10:08
understood at a deep level. What you have navigated and
10:14
experienced, not through desire and choice, but you were forced
10:21
to go through, is genuinely extraordinary.
10:27
And not in that way that gets casually used, but in its actual
10:33
meaning. You've gone through something
10:37
outside the ordinary, beyond what most people are asked to
10:43
endure, more simultaneously managing other responsibilities.
10:51
You were already spinning planes and then had to spin many more.
11:01
I want you to look back on the past from where you are now.
11:07
The initial discovery, those subsequent lies told while
11:12
looking you in the face. The gradual, painful extraction
11:18
of truth through your own sheer determination.
11:25
The multiple layers of revelation and the professional
11:30
consequences that caused a ripple through your world and
11:37
theirs. And even that decision to stay
11:42
made not from weakness, but from a desire to hold on to something
11:49
that once was good and real. And you know more than most what
11:57
most people do when they discover what you discovered.
12:03
When the toothpaste is outside of that tube, it can never go
12:07
back. And you know that.
12:10
What you have done, that level of honest engagement you've
12:15
demanded, the accountability you have required and the scrutiny
12:22
you've maintained is genuinely exceptional.
12:28
It would be too much trouble or too much pain for most.
12:34
But you did that anyway. So you know more than anyone
12:41
else what the emotional, intellectual and even physical
12:47
cost of that level of sustained engagement is.
12:54
You've sat with people like you. You are carrying what you are
13:00
carrying. The pain of betrayal, a
13:06
breakdown in trust. And you've understood from the
13:12
outside just how heavy it is, because it is as heavy as you
13:26
have found it to be. And that's not a sign that
13:30
you're handling it poorly. It's the honest weight of the
13:35
thing itself. But sometimes you get to see
13:45
things different from a different perspective.
13:52
Deep down, you already know. It's not an accident that you
13:57
found yourself helping others going through similar pains that
14:03
you've experienced. You've heard their stories.
14:08
You've understood their anguish, feelings of betrayal and trauma
14:13
from the inside out, and sometimes you've wondered why
14:21
the advice insides that you've given them don't always work
14:32
when you think about it for yourself.
14:38
But from that professional place, that wise experience part
14:44
of you, the part that's genuinely helped people through
14:50
difficulties, I'd like you to bring to mind the version of you
15:00
as if they were a client of yours, sitting across from you
15:04
right now and see those qualities, see that they are
15:12
intelligent, accomplished, deeply loyal.
15:19
You're observing yourself as if you're someone else, a client of
15:24
yours, someone that has fought hard of the truth and
15:29
accountability. But also notice that they are
15:34
exhausted not from weakness, but from the sheer sustained effort
15:43
of carrying this almost entirely alone while appearing to
15:50
function normally to the outside world.
15:56
And I want you to feel empathy, connection, but also inspiration
16:06
for that version of you. And I wonder what that version
16:13
needs to hear from you, from that wise place.
16:19
Not the platitudes and not the general assurances that time
16:23
heals, but the honest, grounded wisdom that you actually carry.
16:34
What would you say to that version of you?
16:40
Would you encourage them to investigate even more?
16:46
Still carry that doubt, to never forgive, never accept?
16:53
Maybe you would ask about the energy it's consumed, about what
16:59
it is, and it's not going to give them.
17:08
Sometimes there's an unconscious desire for revenge, fairness,
17:14
truth, and understanding, but that version of you already has
17:20
that information. The core facts have been
17:25
established, and additional details, if they do exist, will
17:32
not dramatically change the fundamental shape of what
17:35
happened. And every hour spent digging,
17:42
asking, continuing to figure out what happened is an hour not
17:50
spent the very life that that version of you actually wants to
17:56
be living. What would you tell her that?
18:04
Gently but honestly Maybe it's enough is enough.
18:42
Maybe it's it is time now to move on and you can tell
18:50
yourself whatever that version of you needed to hear, but hear
18:56
it and feel it from that same place of professional clarity.
19:04
It's not a reprimand or a criticism.
19:07
It's not losing experience. It as the honest counsel of
19:12
someone who genuinely wants and wishes you well.
19:16
And there's a person who's been occupying space in your mind,
19:29
rent free, taking up square footage in your thoughts, your
19:34
energy, your attention, without your invitation and without your
19:40
permission. And I want you to reflect, think
19:46
and notice clearly what that occupancy has cost you.
19:54
Hours spent thinking, probing, replaying the mental energy
20:02
directed towards someone who is not in your life.
20:07
Think of the emotional bandwidth that could be available for the
20:10
people and the work and the future that actually matter to
20:14
you. What if all of that time, energy
20:20
and emotion was redirected instead towards someone who
20:26
deserves none of it? Some people believe that
20:35
forgiveness is necessary to move on, but forgiveness is not what
20:41
is being asked. If you hear Forgiveness is a
20:46
destination some people reach eventually on their own timeline
20:51
in their own way, and it's not required for what comes next.
20:59
What is available to you right now is something more
21:05
immediately useful. Indifference, ambivalence, the
21:13
psychological eviction of someone who was never entitled
21:18
to the space they took. I want you to imagine that you
21:25
are the owner of a building, a valuable building with limited
21:32
rooms, and somehow, without your agreement, someone moved into
21:38
one of those rooms and began using your resources, your
21:43
utilities, your attention. There they were, living rent
21:51
free. But what if today you are
21:55
completing the eviction? Not with anger.
22:01
Anger keeps people present. They remain, and not with the
22:09
performance of forgiveness. A cockroach has not earned that.
22:16
An illegal squatter has not earned that, but with the final
22:22
quiet administrative act of removing someone who was never
22:28
supposed to be there from the space that was never supposed to
22:34
be theirs, this was an opportunist.
22:43
It's time to end, end that emotional drain.
22:50
It's time to starve the cockroach, starve the parasite.
22:56
And I want you to imagine that room, that space is being
22:59
cleared. Utilities like electricity and
23:04
water and gas all disconnected, the attention that was feeding
23:09
their presence being redirected, and what remains is simply an
23:16
empty room that you are choosing to repurpose for something or
23:24
someone that belongs to your actual life.
23:31
It is something interesting about this process.
23:35
Indifference is not achieved through effort, it is achieved
23:40
through withdrawal. Every time you have reviewed
23:47
what they did or imagined what they did, or considered what
23:52
justice or a confrontation would look like, you've been giving
23:59
the attention. They kept them present in that
24:03
room rent free in your mind, and withdrawal of that attention is
24:10
the act that makes them small. A plant need oxygen and sunshine
24:17
and water and if they are starved of it, they will shrivel
24:22
and die. So imagine them becoming
24:28
smaller, less significant. With every hour you spend
24:34
thinking about your own life rather than hers.
24:39
With every conversation you have that focuses on your future, A
24:46
happy future together rather than a painful past.
24:53
With every morning you wake up and give your first thoughts to
24:56
something empowering and positive that belongs to you.
25:02
What if that is the actual justice?
25:07
Not a consequence that they suffer, but a life you build
25:13
where they have no place in and no power over.
25:23
Because there's a version of moving forward that requires you
25:28
to pretend the past didn't happen, to manufacture feelings
25:38
of trust that aren't yet real, to perform an act of forgiveness
25:43
that hasn't arrived. But that version doesn't work
25:49
because you can't sincerely produce what isn't there.
25:57
But there is another version, the one that's actually
26:00
available to you right now. Not forgiveness, but acceptance.
26:08
Acceptance is not forgetting you remember clearly.
26:14
Acceptance is not excusing what happened is not excused.
26:22
And acceptance is not the removal of vigilance.
26:26
You retain the right to watch and to assess and to adjust
26:32
based on what you see and what you notice.
26:39
Acceptance is the decision to stop spending today's energy
26:44
fighting yesterday's facts. It's the recognition that what
26:50
has happened has already happened, that the energy
26:55
directed at changing something that cannot be changed is
27:00
changing and taking energy from the life that still can be
27:05
shaped. Think of your partner and
27:13
acknowledge they've made choices in the past that cause genuine
27:17
damaged, but has also made choices since.
27:26
Those choices are nothing. Damage to relationships, an
27:34
early end to a career, a changing relationship with
27:39
drink. I want you to acknowledge it may
27:47
not be perfect, but it is evidence.
27:54
Evidence of some accountability, recognition and natural
28:03
consequences that just come from that cause and effect in life.
28:10
And these choices don't erase the damage, but they are real
28:15
too. And that wise professional in
28:20
you knows how to hold the pain and the progress simultaneously,
28:31
Acceptance says. I see what happened clearly.
28:37
I see what has changed clearly. I have decided with open eyes to
28:45
remain. And that decision deserves the
28:49
energy that that investigation and probing has been consuming.
29:00
You will never fill the void of that black hole, but you don't
29:06
have to. In fact, the more you direct
29:12
your time, energy, and emotions elsewhere, that black hole
29:17
collapses into itself. You to think of the future.
29:25
You actually want to allow your mind to travel forward.
29:33
Not far. Just far enough to be genuinely
29:39
on the other side of this particular season, after a
29:45
period of truth and reconciliation, after a period
29:51
where anything that needs to be said has had an opportunity to
29:56
be said. The line in the sand.
30:00
Imagine the future beyond that line, and think of how you want
30:08
it to be in your relationship with your family, with yourself.
30:17
Imagine a future where you have a quality of life that feels
30:24
good. You can enjoy vacations you
30:32
don't have to forget. But imagine a future where
30:37
you've moved on and see your partner as your partner, not as
30:47
a probationer, not as a defendant in a case, and not as
30:51
a criminal still paying the price.
30:57
See them as the man you chose, again with full information.
31:03
And what that choice makes possible is something that
31:06
neither of you have been able to fully find out yet.
31:14
And you can't until you cross that line.
31:18
And I want you to allow all of the unconscious resources to
31:29
know what it will be when you cross that line.
31:33
And only you can decide when and how that line gets crossed.
31:42
So as you hold that thought, it's time to return with a sense
31:47
of new perspective, new clarity, and a feeling of impending
31:53
acceptance. So take a deep breath in through
31:56
your nose and down through your nose and wiggle your fingers and
32:02
wiggle your toes, connecting and calibrating into the here and
32:06
now as I count from 1:00 to 10:00 to awaken you.
32:10
Starting to count 123 waking up 456, more alert. 7-8.
32:18
Open your eyes. Open your eyes, 910.
32:22
Wide awake, wide awake, wide awake.
32:29
Thank you. So much for.
32:31
Joining me on today's episode of The Hypnotist if you've enjoyed
32:35
this episode or got some value from it.
32:38
Please give it a five star rating and review.
32:41
And maybe you know someone that would.
32:43
Also benefit. From this particular episode, in
32:46
which case share the episode with them so they can also.
32:50
Get the benefit too. And if you would like to.
32:53
Listen to this. Episode where it's just the
32:56
hypnosis. So no intro, no outro, no
33:00
explanation, just the hypnosis and completely ad free.
33:04
There will be a link in the description where.
33:06
You can subscribe. At a very low cost and only get
33:09
access. To the hypnosis O if that's of
33:12
interest. Please check that out.
33:14
Thank you again. For being a.
33:17
Regular listener of the hypnotist and I'll see you again
33:20
soon. For more.