Latest / Your Enriched Self / 93. Your Worst Enemy

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93. Your Worst Enemy · Your Enriched Self

• 0:00
  I heard a quote that blew my mind. Friends ask questions, enemies question
• 0:07
  you. I'm going to repeat that, Friends, ask questions, enemies question
• 0:14
  you. If you ever wanted to know if you are dealing with a person
• 0:19
  that is truly your friend, think about how that is positioned. Are they
• 0:24
  asking you questions or are they questioning you? When I started thinking about that,
• 0:30
  it had me go to the Genesis of how those questions began. And
• 0:36
  I went to the Book of Genesis. And in the book of Genesis,
• 0:40
  there is a story if you know the story of Adam and Eve, and
• 0:44
  as the story goes on, you learn about a serpent, and in fact,
• 0:50
  the serpent does exactly what we just talked about. And what was his
• 0:56
  first activity? To question Eve? Not to ask instead what were some of
• 1:03
  the things you enjoyed in this garden? What are some of the things you're
• 1:07
  looking forward to? Instead to question her on her knowledge of what was said.
• 1:14
  We can liken this to the enemies that are external in our lives,
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  the people that question you and tell you that are you sure do you think
• 1:25
  you can? Lots of questions about what you can do, and not asking
• 1:30
  you how you can do it? Right now there's another battle that's going on,
• 1:37
  and that's the battle in your mind, because there are doubts that creep
• 1:42
  up. Just like it does externally, internally we have a battle of our
• 1:49
  minds and if we're not careful, we are going to hear those same battle
• 1:56
  christ from the enemy. And oh, by the way, that inspired me
• 2:00
  to create my own quote around out and that is doubt is a shout from
• 2:07
  the enemy. My question to you is who or what is shouting at you.
• 2:23
  Hello, my friends from all across the globe, and welcome to the
• 2:27
  Urine Ritzel Podcast. I am your host, Mile Noir. I am a
• 2:30
  mindset coach and your mindset advocate, and all that means is listen. We
• 2:37
  are in the middle of the second Quarterer, and I know you're out there
• 2:40
  working. I know you're out there putting in the time, the talent and
• 2:45
  the treasure, and if you haven't started, I know that you can get
• 2:49
  started. And so that's what this is all about. I've created this safe
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  space so each and every week we can talk about and walk through all the
• 2:58
  things that you're dealing with and some of the things you're probably not even thinking
• 3:01
  about, but I'm here to bring it to the forefront because I want you
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  to operate in this world as the best version of yourself. And we're going
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  care, intentional thinking, and making sure that you curate your words because we
• 3:22
  know that the words are inspired by the thoughts and that generates the action.
• 3:28
  And if you're listening to this podcast, I know that you are here on
• 3:32
  purpose for a purpose. So I want to welcome any new listeners to this
• 3:37
  podcast, to this platform. You're in for a treat. This week.
• 3:40
  We're talking about a very important thing that we all have dealt with and I'm
• 3:46
  talking universal, okay, And I just want to welcome you to this podcast,
• 3:51
  and I know you're going to find value. And if you are a
• 3:53
  repeat listener, if you've been coming to this for I think we're on ninety
• 3:57
  three weeks. We have been rocking together for ninety plus weeks on this podcast,
• 4:03
  and I want to thank you because we are creating legacy. We are
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  doing the thing and talking about the things that I'm sure we're getting a lot
• 4:12
  of pop culture feeds and a lot of business stuff, but it's all about
• 4:17
  your mindset. And I want to make sure that you become more of your
• 4:21
  in yourself. So I want to thank you all, my writer dies,
• 4:25
  the people that have been here from the start. We have a great show
• 4:29
  this week, and I just want to make sure that you are buckled in
• 4:32
  to get into this now before we start this episode. If you know,
• 4:39
  you know, I start the podcast off by making the deposit in the bank
• 4:45
  of you, and I do so by way of affirmations. Affirmations are a
• 4:50
  great way to start your day and to command your morning. And this week's
• 4:58
  affirmation is in times of doubt, I remember I am capable and strong.
• 5:06
  In times of doubt, I remember I am capable and strong. In times
• 5:15
  of doubt, I remember I am capable and strong. Now, let's get
• 5:24
  ready for this week's episode of the Your Enriched Self podcast. Since I got
• 5:32
  caught up into another deception mechanism. This time I was clickbait, so it
• 5:40
  was actually pretty safe. Nobody got into my accounts. I didn't get hacked,
• 5:43
  none of those things we've been there before. This time I clicked on
• 5:47
  an article. And you know, if you listen to this podcast, how
• 5:53
  much I loved the william sisters and I talk a lot about Serena because I've
• 5:57
  seen and been inspired by so much of what she's done in her career,
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  not just as an athlete, but just as a person trying to enrich her
• 6:04
  life. And I saw an article that popped up on my Google notifications and
• 6:13
  it said the pest is back, annoyed by the constant intervention of Serena Williams.
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  Forty two year old Venus Williams hits back at her legendary sister. So,
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  because you know how I feel about the Williams sisters, I clicked on
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  the article. It was what I was hoping it would be. Because these
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  sisters, if you follow them in their career on and off the court,
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  they've been very cheeky. They kind of tease each other quite a bit,
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  and this was just another example of that. Now, I thought it was
• 6:45
  going to be some drama and some mess, but it wasn't that. It
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  was instead a situation where Venus was talking to her audience, her fans.
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  Because both these sisters are of course successful in their careers on the court,
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  but also off the chord, they have various business adventures. Venus has a
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  clothing line called eleven and it's like a sports where kind of like a Lulu
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  Lemon, but it's a Venus. Okay, it's eleven, so check it
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  out. But anyway, she's on there talking to her fans and talking to
• 7:15
  her base and answering questions about like work life balance, at all the different
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  things you want to ask somebody in that with that level of caliber. So
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  along came her sister, Serena, and she interrupted this Q andata had been
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  going on with Venus and her fans. And what did Venus do? She
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  said, and announced to her audience, the pest is back. And I
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  thought that was so funny and cheeky, and that's what they do all the
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  time. And so the clickbait article it got me, but in the end
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  it was all fun and games. But what that leads me to is there
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  are pests in our lives. I like, what Venus did. She simply
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  acknowledged that this thing had shown up again, and it happened to be her
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  sister. Of course, the article would go on to say that she went
• 8:13
  back to answering questions. She didn't freeze, she didn't get into a tiff
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  with her sister, she didn't even really acknowledge her sister. She just said
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  what she said, which is the pestis back. She didn't overthink it.
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  And so when I thought about this week's episode on doubt, which is our
• 8:33
  enemy? Okay, doubt is your enemy. If you didn't know that you
• 8:35
  had an enemy called doubt, you know now, And I thought, why
• 8:41
  wouldn't we have the same approach when doubt showed up in our lives. I
• 8:46
  was talking to a friend the other day and they said to me, they
• 8:48
  said, you know what things go. Things are going along well, and
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  I feel positive, and I feel like I'm ready to take it to the
• 8:54
  next step. And here comes this negative thing, here comes this conversation,
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  here comes this thing, and I feel like all that work has been erased.
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  And that's what doubt can do. And that's what doubt has done.
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  If you even think about your life the minute doubt comes in, and you
• 9:13
  don't need a lot of it. It's one of those things where it doesn't
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  even have to be enough to remove the stain off your clothing, but it's
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  enough to leave the remnants that something happened here. It's enough to leave the
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  frustration that something happened here. And I'm still here trying to get this thing
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  fixed. I want to challenge you that when life throws doubt on your court,
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  do what Venus did, acknowledge it and then keep moving on, which
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  is exactly what she did. Now, before we get all up into this
• 9:50
  episode about doubt, I want to dissect doubt for you for a minute because
• 9:54
  I want to make sure we understand what does it mean to have Doubt is
• 10:00
  a feeling of uncertainty and it is a lack of conviction. Along came and
• 10:05
  along comes fear when you start dealing with doubt. Doubt also comes packaged with
• 10:09
  limiting beliefs. And how do you create that? How are those limiting beliefs
• 10:16
  created? What sets the stage for doubt to act out? Overthinking? Yeah,
• 10:22
  overthinking does it rejection? And we all face rejection. Indecision sometimes taken
• 10:31
  way too long to get to a decision. It makes you go into overthinking
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  and then doubt. Obstacles everyone, if you're listening to this podcast, either
• 10:43
  you're dealing with an obstacle now there's one down the road, or you've dealt
• 10:48
  with one in the past. However you've done that, there is a possibility
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  that doubt can creep in, just like Serena did on that Q and a
• 10:58
  session. A lack mindset. And that's why we talk so heavily about mindset
• 11:03
  on this podcast, because you know that the battlefield of whatever you're dealing with,
• 11:09
  it starts in the mind. It's one in the mind, and it's
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  end in the mind. So mindset is a critical piece of all this.
• 11:18
  And believe it or not, what can create doubt is winning or losing.
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  And I've mentioned this before on the podcast, where there are people that become
• 11:33
  fearful when they get to a winning streak, and what I mean by that
• 11:39
  is they start to think, what if I can't maintain this? They start
• 11:45
  to doubt all their success. I've literally dealt with people who have had successful
• 11:52
  years. They've won accolade after accolade, They've been recognized by their peers,
• 11:56
  leadership, coaches, all the things, but when they get behind closed doors,
• 12:03
  it's still not enough. It's still not enough. They want to get
• 12:07
  to the next level. So all the levels before have never been acknowledged.
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  That's dangerous. The other thing, of course, is losing. And like
• 12:16
  I say on this podcast, I don't believe that we need to pack our
• 12:20
  bags for losing. I know there's winners and losers. I'm not in the
• 12:26
  culture of everybody gets a trophy, but I do believe that there are some
• 12:30
  blessings in losses. There are some lessons in losses, and oftentimes we just
• 12:37
  see the l and we move on. I say, take the lesson out
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  of it and make that moment that didn't count on the scoreboard or in social
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  media or wherever it is supposed to count, and make a count in your
• 12:48
  life. And that's where we start to define for ourselves what successes. And
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  that's what you have to do for yourself. You See, the thing about
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  doubt is that it can become a d fault for you. So be careful
• 13:03
  when you're living life, working through the things that you're working through right now.
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  And if you're not working through some things right now, some things right
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  now, you will be working through some things coming soon. At a theater
• 13:15
  near you, in a house near you, at a job near you.
• 13:18
  You will be working through some things. And when you're working through those things,
• 13:22
  doubt will show up. And I'm not saying that to scare you.
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  I'm being real with you, because everybody deals with doubt. Yes, the
• 13:33
  person next to you, the person that just won ahead of you, your
• 13:37
  boss, your mentor the person you look up to. They all have dealt
• 13:41
  with doubt. And if you don't know that, go ask them. Don't
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  take my word for it, go ask them, because they've dealt with it.
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  But again, when doubt becomes your default, what happens is you stop
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  showing up in your life. You go into hiding, and it almost keeps
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  you captive from purpose, from passion, from people, from productivity. You
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  are captive and held back from living the life you know you can live because
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  of that five letter word. Doubt doesn't take a lot, but it's enough
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  to leave a stain. Doubts that are not acted upon, they're going to
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  grow up. Everything grows up. We're growing up, our kids are growing
• 14:37
  up. Everything's on a grow pattern. Then the positive things in your life
• 14:41
  are going to grow. If you're building your bank account and you're doing the
• 14:46
  things that you need to do, taking those necessary steps, it's going to
• 14:48
  grow. If you're doing the opposite and spending without managing, that's gonna grow
• 14:54
  in a different direction, but it's gonna grow. It's gonna give you negative
• 14:58
  results. So it's important that you don't let those doubts grow up and become
• 15:07
  fear, because that can really cripple you. So the question you might be
• 15:13
  asking is, well, then how do I erase doubt? And I'll be
• 15:16
  honest with you. When I was going through this episode, I remember writing
• 15:20
  down an equation for this in my mentor and program. I work with a
• 15:24
  coach and she used to do this really cool mathematical thing with thinking and processing,
• 15:33
  and it all came down to these equations she would create. And one
• 15:37
  day I started thinking about this was back. This is back before I was
• 15:41
  thinking about what I would talk about at my event last year, I thought,
• 15:45
  well, what prevents us from showing up? And doubt is the thing
• 15:48
  that prevents us from showing up because we're overthinking, we're dealing with the obstacles,
• 15:52
  and then we just stopped showing up because it's like, oh my god,
• 15:54
  I've missed the gym several times, I forget about it, and that
• 15:58
  you doubt yourself for going back. And there's countless examples of that, I'm
• 16:00
  sure in your life that you can point out. And so I went back
• 16:06
  to my notes, and I keep lots of journals. Okay, I have
• 16:10
  all kinds of journals up in here. I had written out a formula to
• 16:15
  canceled out. I literally created a formula to canceled out. So this is
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  how you do it, right, This is how you do it. You
• 16:23
  need discipline plus belief. When you have discipline and you have belief, that's
• 16:32
  going to take you to acting or action. Because you're gonna act. You're
• 16:37
  gonna be acting on the thing that you believe in, that you believe you
• 16:41
  can do, and you're going to have the discipline to keep that activated and
• 16:47
  in motion to the point where it becomes a habit. So that's what the
• 16:52
  discipline then grows into. Right. I don't want to confuse you, but
• 16:56
  discipline plus belief eat qual's action. And then when you act on or you
• 17:07
  take action, you are now a doer. You're not just thinking about it,
• 17:15
  you're not just writing about it. You actually become a doer. So
• 17:19
  action equals do follow me, and when you do it cancels the out.
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  So the word doubt d oubt, you cancel that last piece that ou bt
• 17:40
  and you're left with do. So at the end of the day, how
• 17:44
  you cancel out doubt is by doing, becoming a doer, taking action.
• 17:52
  It didn't say complete because what a lot of us think is that we have
• 17:56
  to go from zero to a thousand. I'm saying, you can take a
• 18:00
  step. You can go from zero to one, zero to two, zero
• 18:04
  to ten. You just need to take a step. Act your activity removes
• 18:12
  doubt. I was talking to a co worker had reached out to me recently
• 18:18
  about wanting to understand like process for project management, right, which is what
• 18:22
  I do in my day job. And we were talking and I was just
• 18:27
  sharing some things that I had learned along the way, right trial by fire
• 18:32
  and showing up and trying things and it didn't work, and also looking at
• 18:37
  what success look like for me, and how I interpreted success based on other
• 18:44
  projects I've worked on with other PMS project managers. All that to say,
• 18:49
  as we're talking and she's given me affirmations like, man, this is what
• 18:53
  I needed to know all of the things. But I can literally hear the
• 18:59
  doubt being canceled out of her mind. And why did that happen is because
• 19:04
  she instead of just taking and leaving it all to chance, which she booked
• 19:11
  some time with me, she said, Hey, I need to talk to
• 19:14
  you about how you do this. And in the end she said, you
• 19:18
  know what I had never taken a time to do this right now. But
• 19:22
  it has opened me up to so much more than I thought I needed to
• 19:27
  know, and some of the things I know I needed to know, but
• 19:32
  the way you put it together in a package, and I felt so good
• 19:34
  about that, But I know what it was. It wasn't necessarily what I
• 19:37
  had said. It was the fact that she took a step. She took
• 19:44
  action, and when you take action, you always are going to cancel out
• 19:49
  the doubt. And I just thought that was so awesome. So kudos to
• 19:53
  her for doing that. And they are going to be places in your life
• 19:56
  where you need to take that action for things you've never done before, and
• 20:00
  I'm going to encourage you to go do it because that is going to cancel
• 20:06
  the doubt and get you into being a doer and not a doubter. So
• 20:12
  belief is a powerful part of this equation. Belief is going to give you
• 20:18
  hope and faith. It's going to allow you to take the risk that you
• 20:22
  need to try the new thing, and it's going to help us connect with
• 20:26
  other people relationships building, and that's exactly what happened with me and this person
• 20:32
  that we had a chance to connect. Now, Doubt is going to do
• 20:36
  the opposite. It's going to hold you back, is going to prevent you
• 20:40
  from taking action or pursuing the thing that you want to pursue. And sometimes
• 20:45
  it can lead to kind of that mental the mental gymnastics that leaves you exhausted
• 20:52
  and then filled with anxiety and unfortunately sometimes depression. So what I'm going to
• 20:57
  encourage you to do as part of this equation is one thing, but I
• 21:03
  need you to become a doubt disruptor, a doubt disruptor. And I want
• 21:08
  you to go back to the Venus and Serena example. Do exactly how Venus
• 21:14
  did it. She acknowledged that doubt had showed up. Right, we're gonna
• 21:18
  use that example, and she went on and kept moving. I'd like to
• 21:23
  say that keep moving. She kept moving like I know you're here, Okay,
• 21:26
  great, And I want you to know Venus, Serena, anyone you
• 21:33
  can think of in your life, people you've looked at, admired. Every
• 21:38
  person that is successful has had to deal with fears, They've had to deal
• 21:45
  with worries, they've had to deal with doubt. The difference between the successful
• 21:51
  person that's dealt with that and sometimes us is that they don't let it stop
• 21:56
  them. And I'm going to encourage you now to let doubt stop you.
• 22:03
  Don't let it stop you. And I think sometimes we get exhausted because we
• 22:08
  spend more time trying to wrestle the doubt, we try to fight at it.
• 22:15
  Think about Venus getting on that call, as cheeky as they are with
• 22:19
  each other, that could have gone in a very negative direction if she started
• 22:26
  complaining and saying, well, why are you doing this? And she started
• 22:29
  having this contentious tussle on the call in front of this audience, taking away
• 22:36
  the message, taking away the mission of what everybody was there for. To
• 22:40
  spend more time addressing the doubt, addressing the pest than to address the people.
• 22:47
  And so I don't want you to spend time trying to avoid the doubt.
• 22:52
  I instead want you to spend time learning how to acknowledge it and overcoming
• 22:57
  it, because that is your formula for success. I hope you enjoyed at
• 23:07
  this week's episode of the Your and rit Self podcast. And the only way
• 23:12
  I'm gonna know this is if you leave me some feedback. Feedback is a
• 23:15
  gift is free to give, and I'm looking for some gifts. So all
• 23:19
  twenty twenty three. Go down to the platform where you listen to this podcast
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  podcast out to more people. And I know you know somebody this week that
• 23:49
  needs to understand who their real enemy is because it's doubt. Now, while
• 23:56
  you're at it, go ahead and send this podcast right from the plast form
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  h E, D S E l F. Get it and go ahead,
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  leave me a DM tell me what you want to hear, and then also
• 25:03
  check out the details in the show notes. That's where I leave all the
• 25:07
  goodies, the quote of the week, the affirmation of the week, and
• 25:11
  also how you can get in contact with me if you are looking for that
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  mindset coach, or if you know somebody that is, go ahead and share
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  that information with them. Check me out and book me for a consultation.
• 25:23
  Finally, this has been such a great episode, I want you to take
• 25:27
  what you can from it and do what you must in the next one hundred
• 25:33
  and sixty eight hours to become more of your enriched itself. Until