Latest / The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook / No More Accepting the Scraps, It’s Time to Choose YOU: Self-Worth, Boundaries & Women’s Empowerment with Melissa Crook

Transcript

No More Accepting the Scraps, It’s Time to Choose YOU: Self-Worth, Boundaries & Women’s Empowerment with Melissa Crook · The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook

• 0:12
  Hello, Melissa Crook here. Welcome back to the Field
• 0:15
  podcast today. You've heard me talk a lot about
• 0:20
  in the first two months of this year, 2026, the resources that I
• 0:26
  have available for you via my field framework on the Embracing
• 0:30
  Layers Network. I have broken them down and
• 0:34
  shared with you the insights and how they can support you and the
• 0:38
  women in your life. But what I realized as I was
• 0:42
  going through this and having a conversation with another friend
• 0:46
  of mine here in the podcast industry who also has her own
• 0:49
  business as a woman, that in order to invest in ourselves, we
• 0:57
  have to realize as women that it's no longer acceptable for us
• 1:02
  to just accept the scraps of what's leftover after we've
• 1:06
  given our resources to everybody else.
• 1:09
  And that starts with me. And I've been really kind of
• 1:14
  more vocal the last couple of months, especially this last few
• 1:19
  weeks, about the fact that women being paid what they're worth
• 1:24
  and their work being honored and recognized as something that's
• 1:28
  worth paying for starts with us as women not asking each other
• 1:33
  to continually show up for free. But really, just like in the
• 1:38
  FUEL framework, when we're doing work on ourselves and it starts
• 1:41
  with knowing our own value, that also is true when it comes to us
• 1:48
  not settling for the scraps or the leftovers and being willing
• 1:52
  to set aside something of value for us first.
• 1:57
  So when I started all of this, it, it did start as a passion
• 2:00
  project. And it wasn't until about a year
• 2:02
  and a half to two years in, but I started offering opportunities
• 2:08
  for people to support our work through sponsorships, through
• 2:11
  our book, through our radio show, those kinds of ways.
• 2:15
  But I'm what I realized about a year, year and a half ago is
• 2:20
  that I had this whole list of resources on my link tray that I
• 2:26
  was offering it for free. And it really got my attention
• 2:28
  to my husband kept bringing that up to me.
• 2:30
  And he kept saying no one that I know in my world of male friends
• 2:38
  would ever have all these resources for free and no one
• 2:41
  would ask them to. There's a real issue with women
• 2:46
  being afraid to ask to be paid for their work.
• 2:50
  And then and if that just sets the trajectory of what it is
• 2:54
  people think you will do for them.
• 2:57
  And so when this friend actually specifically, I was at a
• 3:02
  networking event here where I live.
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  And if a woman that I'd met through this event came up to my
• 3:08
  husband and I and made this comment about, Oh my gosh,
• 3:11
  incredible resources that you have for free.
• 3:14
  And my intention was that I, you know, I wanted to make sure
• 3:17
  women, no matter what level they were at, had access to things.
• 3:22
  But what I realized is that turned into being almost
• 3:25
  everything. And so what's never going to
• 3:28
  change on this platform? And they tell you to never say
• 3:31
  never. But I feel confidently about
• 3:32
  this, that the podcast that we, that we record, that are
• 3:36
  available on our website are always going to be available to
• 3:39
  you for free to go listen to, to get insights from, to go to our
• 3:44
  website and choose which resources apply.
• 3:46
  But the podcast themselves always going to be that way.
• 3:49
  But there's a lot of other work that I've created that I set
• 3:54
  that expectation that it was all going to be free early on.
• 3:57
  And as I tried to switch, I realized people weren't used to
• 4:00
  me showing up that way. And I and millions of women do
• 4:05
  this around the world to ourselves every day.
• 4:09
  And So what I'm going to talk about today is when you are
• 4:15
  planning out your calendar each year, when you are planning out
• 4:19
  your budget, I will tell you that for the 1st 50 years of my
• 4:25
  life, I would plan out our budget and I would make sure my
• 4:30
  daughters had all the resources they needed for their things.
• 4:34
  My husband had all the resources he needed, my in laws, I mean
• 4:39
  whoever it was that I was giving to and then if there was
• 4:43
  anything leftover for me then I would invest in that.
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  Whether it was a women's conference, usually I will tell
• 4:49
  you because I waited till I was last.
• 4:52
  There were many things I said no to because I didn't have the
• 4:55
  money or the resources or the time because I neglected to 1st
• 5:01
  put myself in my calendar. Look at the list of activities
• 5:06
  that nourish me and make sure I plugged those in first and that
• 5:11
  there wasn't scraps that I was pulling from The the worthy
• 5:16
  amount of full resources to invest in me, which then allows
• 5:23
  me to show up more healthy, more present, more engaged, and the
• 5:28
  kind of version of myself that I want my loved ones and Co
• 5:33
  workers and neighbors to experience of me.
• 5:37
  But that doesn't magically happen.
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  It requires an investment. It requires putting yourself
• 5:44
  first in your calendar on the broader sense, not just and
• 5:48
  starting with investing in yourself.
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  So it starts with me and I've been doing that the last five
• 5:56
  years. But what I've missed is that
• 5:59
  that's also true when I'm creating work and creating
• 6:03
  resources. I pay my team, but I don't pay
• 6:06
  myself. And so I'm telling women to do
• 6:09
  this, but yet I'm not even doing it for me.
• 6:12
  And so stepping back and realizing I have to start with
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  me and sending the message and in inviting other women to do
• 6:21
  the same. We deserve more than the scraps.
• 6:25
  We deserve to invest in US. And that starts with us not
• 6:30
  being afraid to ask for what we're worth.
• 6:33
  Not being afraid. So instead of me putting the
• 6:37
  hundreds of thousands of dollars into, let's go back 1015 years
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  ago when my kids were at home and involved, my husband and I
• 6:45
  put everything there first. And instead of going into our
• 6:52
  calendars and saying, OK, what do we need to show up well this
• 6:56
  year to show up healthy, to show up consistently rested,
• 7:02
  resourced so that we then can show up well.
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  I will guarantee you that if I'd taken the time to do that first,
• 7:09
  there would still had been plenty leftover for the rest.
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  And I would have not shown up feeling tattered and irritable
• 7:18
  and worn out because I would not have only made the time for that
• 7:22
  physical and emotional mental, you know, you know, work and,
• 7:28
  and time that I put into myself every day.
• 7:30
  But I would have made room for that, that retreat that was
• 7:33
  really going to refresh me. That book club that was really
• 7:37
  going to connect me with other women.
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  I would have had I would have bought that book first.
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  I would have scheduled that retreat 1st.
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  And they're like, OK from there. How do we plan to hit the rest
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  of this? And how much less of a martyr I
• 7:52
  would have shown up as. So I'm encouraging you all now
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  to think about that. When you're doing your work,
• 8:01
  don't undersell yourself. When you're investing in
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  yourself, don't put yourself last and only save the scraps
• 8:10
  for you. That's not selfish, that is self
• 8:13
  preservation. That is setting an example to
• 8:18
  those around you of what you will and won't accept as being
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  honorable to you. And that includes sometimes
• 8:30
  time, sometimes energy, and sometimes money.
• 8:35
  And in saving a little for you each time.
• 8:39
  And if you do that in a way that we're planning it out and you're
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  not because if you wait till it's just like putting your
• 8:46
  exercise or your quiet time in your calendar.
• 8:49
  If it doesn't get in your calendar, it's going to be the
• 8:52
  first thing to go. It's not going to be seen as a
• 8:55
  priority. We put the things in our
• 8:57
  calendar that are priority. And that includes a little bit
• 9:00
  of resources money wise for you to invest in you, whatever that
• 9:05
  looks like, whether it's the yoga class, the gym membership,
• 9:09
  the book club that I mentioned, that yearly retreat, that online
• 9:14
  course that your therapy, whatever it is, it goes first so
• 9:19
  you can show up healthy and well for you.
• 9:23
  And so that's why I titled today's episode No More
• 9:28
  Accepting the Scraps. It's time to choose you.
• 9:31
  And that starts with me. And you're going to, like I
• 9:34
  said, this is going to be an ongoing theme as I learned to do
• 9:37
  this, as I adopt this into my own life.
• 9:40
  And I invite you all into it as well.
• 9:42
  So it's not too late. It's we're early in 2026 or
• 9:47
  whatever time you choose to listen to this in your life,
• 9:49
  wherever you are, go look at that calendar and see and put in
• 9:54
  something for you. It and, and and and notice how
• 10:00
  it feels to invest in you. And yes, because of all the
• 10:03
  narratives we've heard as women, it might feel a little selfish
• 10:07
  at first, But if you take, think about how you feel when you get
• 10:11
  home from that, taking that time to refill the patience, the
• 10:16
  renewal, the rest, the presence, the mindfulness that is present
• 10:22
  rather than being tired and worn out and strung out because you
• 10:27
  didn't leave anything for you except for the scraps or less
• 10:30
  than the scraps. So that is something that I
• 10:33
  really want us to take into the rest of this, this week, this
• 10:37
  month, this year, as we seriously consider moving
• 10:42
  forward into no more accepting the scraps.
• 10:45
  It's time to choose you. If you want some more support,
• 10:49
  go to embracinglayers.com. Let's schedule a third.
• 10:52
  Go to our contact format, schedule a 30 minute empowerment
• 10:54
  session and just talk through it.
• 10:56
  Talk through what that looks like for you and how we can
• 10:58
  support you in that. I know I'm going to be much more
• 11:01
  mindful and making sure I'm doing this for me.
• 11:04
  So my messaging isn't just sent out to you.
• 11:07
  You see it embodied and modeled with it.
• 11:09
  Be in me as well. We're all learning and growing
• 11:11
  together. Stay curious, not judgmental.
• 11:14
  This is a marathon. It's not a Sprint and it's just
• 11:18
  another opportunity to grow. So take good care of yourselves
• 11:21
  this week. No more accepting the scraps.
• 11:24
  It's time to choose you. You are valuable, you are
• 11:27
  worthy, and you get to choose. Take good care of yourselves.
• 11:31
  And I'll see you here next time on the Field podcast.