Latest / The Daily Sarcast / May 15th, 2026: Trump In China, The New Moon And Emily's Life Update

Transcript

May 15th, 2026: Trump In China, The New Moon And Emily's Life Update · The Daily Sarcast

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  Today's episode is brought to you by Headphones. Headphones.
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  We love them. We need them. We can't live without them. From helping us disassociate
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  in public to delivering audiobook smut, you can always count on headphones to
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  shield you from the thoughts inside your head.
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  Insert theme song here. This is the Daily Sarcast. I give you the news and maybe a laugh.
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  I am not Lindsay Vernick. I'm Emmeline Evans, and today is Friday, May 15th.
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  Starting off on a light note, Trump's visit to China this week has been surprisingly
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  uneventful by the president's standards.
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  This is Trump's first visit to China in nine years, and while discussions of
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  Iran and Taiwan took set her stage during the summit, Trump was excited to announce
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  China's successful purchase of 200 Boeing jets, or as Big Orange puts it, 200 big ones.
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  Meanwhile, FIFA President Gianni Infantino has announced that Madonna,
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  Shakira, and BTS are scheduled to perform in the World Cup final halftime show on July 19th.
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  This is the first time the soccer final will have a Super Bowl-style concert,
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  and what better arena to host it in than at the home stadium of two football
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  teams who have not been to the Super Bowl in over 10 years.
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  In weather news, scientists from the NOAA Climate Prediction Center have forecast
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  a very strong El Nino season on the horizon.
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  They predict an 82% chance in the next two to three months of a quote-unquote
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  super El Nino to rage across the tropical Pacific.
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  One scientist was quoted saying, who could have predicted all this wild weather happening?
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  Oh right, we did, the scientists. We told you this would happen.
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  In astrology news, the new moon in Taurus will be gracing the skies this weekend.
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  If you are sensitive to the stars, it's recommended by this astrologer to use
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  this regenerative transit to stay open to new ideas and keeping the faith for new beginnings.
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  With the new moon going exact on Saturday, May 16th at 4.01 p.m.
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  EST, use the evening for planning a road trip with loved ones or for world domination.
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  In Emily News, I'm happy to report that I am 265 days alcohol-free today.
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  Thank you, thank you.
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  I am so thankful to be sober and
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  I want to thank everyone who I have met during this chapter of my life.
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  This is the longest that I have gone alcohol-free and this isn't the first time
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  that I have given sobriety a shot and I am just so happy to not be drinking
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  alcohol. I never want to drink alcohol again.
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  In fact, I have nightmares about drinking alcohol and then I wake up and I'm
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  like, oh god thank god I'm sober and they only happen like when I'm anxious
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  so you know I'm kind of okay in that regard like I don't have any cravings in
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  my conscious life but I guess subconsciously,
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  my subconscious is like girl we need a drink but then consciously I'm like no we don't need that.
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  And if anyone's out there who is curious about being sober or giving up alcohol,
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  let me be the first to tell you that it's absolutely worth it.
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  Please give that to you. It's a gift.
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  And the second thing I'll say is, like, you kind of adopt this superiority complex
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  that you're better than everyone.
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  Just, you know, it's not as bad as, like, vegan superiority. You know what I mean?
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  If you are vegan, I don't want any smoke, but you guys know what I mean. It's a vibe.
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  This is emily from the future and i
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  just want to say to the vegans i love you guys there's so many
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  dishes that you have that i absolutely love and then others that i can't have
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  because like i have so many allergies every time i've tried to go vegan it's
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  i've never gone past like a year it's always like 10 months or nine months and
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  i'm like i can't do it i get so sick i know there's other solutions.
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  Maybe I just need to talk to you guys more, but like truly like, no, like I have tried.
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  I'm not trying to, I'm not trying to like, you know, pile onto the vegans.
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  You guys have a just cause. You're doing, you're doing hard work.
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  Feedback, comments, questions, a nice Jewish boy looking for a date,
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  email lindsay at lindsay at thedailystarcast.com, all lowercase.
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  Lindsay will be back Monday. Thank you all so much for listening and have a
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  great weekend. Stay safe.