Latest / The Daily Sarcast / July 29th, 2026: Disney Music Protecting Women, The Double Meteor Shower This Week And My Life These Days

Transcript

July 29th, 2026: Disney Music Protecting Women, The Double Meteor Shower This Week And My Life These Days · The Daily Sarcast

• 0:00
  Are you tired of seeing the world without a little robot judging it for you?
• 0:05
  Introducing MetaHuman Smart Eyeballs. Why look at something when AI can immediately
• 0:11
  ruin the experience for you?
• 0:13
  Walking down the street, your smart eyeballs identify the restaurant,
• 0:18
  show you all of the reviews, and remind you that you said before that you were saving money.
• 0:24
  On a date, they can analyze his face, detect red flags, and tell you you're
• 0:29
  ignoring the fact that he has thousands of dollars in three different cryptocurrencies.
• 0:34
  At a family dinner, they'll remind
• 0:36
  you that your brother still hasn't apologized for Thanksgiving 2019.
• 0:40
  MetaHuman smart eyeballs. Because seeing the world yourself was a little too much freedom.
• 0:46
  The third time will be better yet. Trump's possible joke at the White House
• 0:51
  Correspondents Dinner the other day.
• 0:53
  Insert theme song here. This is the Daily Starcast. I'll give you the news and media laugh.
• 0:58
  I'm Lindsay Wernick and today is July 29th, 2026.
• 1:02
  Okay, so yesterday I was like so excited that I officially got ads on the podcast.
• 1:07
  So if you've heard one, I'm sorry.
• 1:10
  I'm like really trying to differentiate now my fake ad versus the regular ones.
• 1:14
  And I was like so excited I told some family and friends and they're like I
• 1:19
  didn't hear an ad like well that's awkward this is really awkward.
• 1:24
  But yeah I'm sorry if you now have to listen to ads on the daily sarcasm but,
• 1:29
  what can I say it's growing,
• 1:32
  so in real news so women have a new self-defense strategy if they think they're
• 1:37
  being secretly recorded by meta smart glasses worn by men or just anybody.
• 1:43
  Don't use pepper spray. Don't yell at them. Just start playing Disney music.
• 1:49
  Seriously, people on the internet are saying if you think someone's filming
• 1:53
  you with AI glasses, start just blasting Disney music.
• 1:57
  Why? Because Disney protects its copyrights like it's guarding the nuclear codes.
• 2:03
  The hope is that when the creep uploads the video, TikTok or YouTube will hear
• 2:07
  part of your world and immediately say, no, absolutely not. Like, how insane is this?
• 2:14
  Like, as women, we're putting more faith in Disney's legal department than,
• 2:18
  like, the police or literally anything else.
• 2:21
  I mean, this doesn't stop someone from recording you, of course,
• 2:25
  but it might make their video harder to post online.
• 2:29
  So our best defense right now against surveillance technology is copyright law.
• 2:34
  Forget calling Batman. Call Mickey Mouse.
• 2:37
  A woman in Utah was just arrested because she set fire to the church where she
• 2:44
  was supposed to get married the day before her wedding.
• 2:48
  Apparently, this girl stole cigarette lighters from an Ace Hardware earlier
• 2:52
  in the day and then used one to start a fire inside the church while her family
• 2:57
  members were, like, inside, actively setting up for her wedding ceremony.
• 3:03
  Thankfully, everyone got out safely, and people nearby put the fire out before
• 3:08
  it was actually able to spread.
• 3:10
  But I mean, still, the church was damaged more than $100,000, Werdas.
• 3:15
  Talk about getting cold feet. She literally didn't need to call off the venue.
• 3:20
  She could have just called off the wedding.
• 3:23
  I feel bad for the groom. That's like such a shitty way to find out your wedding is called off.
• 3:27
  Not from the bride telling you that she doesn't want to marry you anymore,
• 3:31
  but just that she lit the church on fire instead.
• 3:34
  This week, two meteor showers are peaking at the same time. Whoa.
• 3:39
  The Delta Aquarides and the Alpha Capricornids are putting on a double show
• 3:46
  for us, with the potential for dozens of meters an hour and especially bright
• 3:51
  fireballs streaking across the night sky.
• 3:55
  But bad news, the best time to watch all of this is like between midnight and 4 a.m.
• 4:00
  Oh, and there's also one like little kind of problem to see this too.
• 4:04
  There's the moon, and it's pretty full this week.
• 4:08
  So there's going to be a lot of smaller meteors, and they're going to be washed out by the moonlight.
• 4:14
  This all feels very on brand right now for 2026. Even the universe is like,
• 4:18
  here's something incredible, but with a catch.
• 4:22
  Astronomers say you should get as far away from city lights as possible.
• 4:26
  Let your eyes adjust and keep the moon behind you for the best view.
• 4:30
  So just like be out in the field in the middle of nowhere which,
• 4:33
  is pretty impossible for most of us so instead you could do what the rest of
• 4:38
  us will be doing see one shooting star,
• 4:41
  but is actually a plane immediately make a wish on it and then spend the next
• 4:46
  45 minutes wondering if you should have just wished for a lower run instead,
• 4:51
  in Lindsay life one minute I'm producing a dating show I'm emailing luxury resorts
• 4:58
  on the phone with celebrity chefs,
• 5:01
  I'm booking restaurants all that good stuff and then the next minute I'm standing
• 5:06
  in my kitchen asking chat,
• 5:08
  wait how long does chicken actually last in the fridge for?
• 5:13
  There's literally no middle ground here.
• 5:15
  Things I'm thinking about, how passive aggressive my aura ring is when I tell it what I ate.
• 5:21
  Okay, so I just got an aura ring and a lot of people don't know this,
• 5:26
  but you can track like your food and nutrition on it, right?
• 5:30
  Like it will, it's literally AI generated. You take a picture of what you're
• 5:34
  eating or drinking and it'll rate it on a scale and tell you what is good and
• 5:39
  bad about what you're eating.
• 5:41
  So for example, the other day I was like quick, I was working,
• 5:46
  so I needed a quick lunch.
• 5:47
  So I just made some frozen chicken tenders and like truffle aioli because,
• 5:52
  you know, I always talk about that in my cooking tips. It's my favorite.
• 5:55
  And I took a picture of it and it goes, okay, it's good that you're eating protein,
• 6:00
  but like everything that you're eating right now is processed.
• 6:03
  Occasional treats are fine.
• 6:05
  A chicken tender isn't a treat. Okay, wait, actually it is a treat. Okay.
• 6:11
  Cooking tip of the day it only takes a few ingredients to make something good
• 6:16
  but apparently not chicken tenders feedback comments questions a nice jewish boy looking for a date
• 6:22
  email me at lindsay at the daily starcast.com thanks so much for listening don't
• 6:26
  remember don't oh my god remember to sign up for the daily starcast summer residency
• 6:32
  if you haven't already so you too can host your own episode of the daily starcast
• 6:36
  thanks so much for listening and i'll talk to you guys tomorrow.