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118. Change in Perspective · Your Enriched Self

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It's November, and I'm sure you've heard people talk about all the reasons why
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we should be thankful, and I agree with that, and all the things
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we need to express gratitude for, and then coming up on this Thanksgiving holiday
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season really a month of Thanksgiving. People do Thanksgiving challenges. I know I've
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done them in the past, where I find something to be thankful for each
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and every day, gratitude challenges, happiness challenges, and the list goes on,
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and there's often in this month reminders of why we should be thankful and
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grateful. And I don't believe it's by accident, because if you notice,
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just think about your own experience around this time of year, Your energy,
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your mood, your motivation starts to take a nosedive. If you were someone
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who was active and going to the gym and you know, getting your work
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out on, you've noticed that, yeah, it's the cold weather, but
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also your motivation has dwindled. And I want to tell you something. It
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is very normal to have this experience. This is actually a seasonal disorder called
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SAD and you go through this starting in November and you kind of get back
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to your normal around April. And what's sad is characterized as a condition that
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brings depression, exhaustion, and lack of interest and activity. So if you're
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feeling this, and some of you might think, oh my goodness, I've
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been feeling this sad thing all year, I promise you it is truly seasonal
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and it's common. It's more common this time of year, starting around November,
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like I said, and then you kind of get your spring break out
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of this thing right in that zone of about April. And that's why this
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week I want to spend some time helping you get a mindset shift. And
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this by no means will take priority over visiting a therapist or finding a professional
2:23
to work through your sad disorder. If in fact this is something you are
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struggling with. What I want to help you to do, as with anything,
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is to start where the battle feel of anything you're dealing with is going
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to be in your mind. I want you to focus on the more positive,
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productive spaces in your life, because when you start to focus on the
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positive things, you start to think, be and ultimately experience the things that
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you desire to experience in life. My friends from all across the globe and
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welcome to the your red Sell Podcast. I am your host, my Lee
3:23
Noir. I am a mindset coach and your mindset advocate. I have curated
3:30
a space so that each and every week you can do the things you must
3:35
do to become more of your own rid self. I know that life is
3:38
busy. I know there is so much happening in the world and in your
3:43
world. This is the space to be intentional about what you're thinking, what
3:49
you're doing, how you're interacting and ultimately responding to all of the various places
3:58
and spaces in your life. And if you're new to this podcast, I
4:02
want to welcome you and thank you for being here and encourage you to subscribe
4:06
because this is a level of content I will be bringing to you each and
4:11
every week. And if you are a repeat listener and you have been riding,
4:17
you have been showing up, you have been participating in the Your and
4:21
rich Self community by being part of this weekly podcast. I want to thank
4:28
you for being part of one hundred and eighteen episodes. Yes, it is
4:34
because of you. It is your participation and your demonstration of being here to
4:41
do what you must each and every week to be more enriched. So I
4:44
want to thank you from the bottom of my heart and encourage you to continue
4:47
to show up for yourself, show up on this podcast, and share with
4:53
your friends and family. Now, if you know, you know, but
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each and every week I make a deposit in the bank of you, and
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I do this by way of affirmations. Affirmations are a great way to start
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your day and to command your mourning. And this week's affirmation is I am
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joyful, energetic, and alive. I am joyful, energetic, and alive.
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I am joyful, energetic, and alive. Now let's get ready for
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this week's episode of the Your Enriched Self podcast. A seasonal effective disorder or
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SAD is real. And as much as I want you to understand the science
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behind your thinking, I also want you to understand that you can manage your
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thoughts. And this week I want to do so in a way that will
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put you in the driver's seat, a way that's going to help you shift
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your mindset to a more positive and productive space, because you know that the
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battle feel of anything you're going to encounter starts with your thoughts, and if
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you're going to be something, it's going to start with what you're thinking about.
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And eventually, how you're going to experience that thing and ultimately your life.
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So you're probably wondering, so, how do I manage my mindset?
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How do I move to a space of productivity, a space of positivity.
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I'm going to encourage you to ask empowering questions. Asking empowering questions, and
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I've done this exercise on the podcast before, but I want to introduce you
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to some new questions that I feel are going to take your questioning strategy to
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higher, better levels. Empowering questions can be a very powerful tool to help
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you redirect your focus. And so this week, I want you to get
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a pen and paper out, because it's going to be a lot of putting
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these questions out there on the forefront. And it's not so much about answering
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the questions upfront, but spending time building the energy you need around the response
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to that question, your commitment to how you answer this, and your ability
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to take action. That's really going to be how you stay in a place
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of empowerment. That's really going to be how you move from feeling disempowered,
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which some of you are right now, being in a negative space, which
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some of you are right now, and standing in this stagnant, unproductive space,
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which is where some of you are right now to move into positivity and
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productivity. And that's what I want you to focus on as we go through
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these questions. Have you ever noticed that it is incredibly easy to make yourself
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feel bad about your life's, about your situation, about your job, whatever
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it is. It is probably the easiest thing to start down a list of
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beating yourself up, down a list of allowing your aspirations to derail you,
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because you see it so big, and you see it in a way that
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you can't even take it down into bite sized chunks, and so you just
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beat yourself up. Easiest thing to do. The hardest thing to do,
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on the other hand, is to make yourself feel good. That's why people
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spend thousands of dollars on lavish vacations and expensive self care treatments, going big
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because we were told sometime ago that you go bigger, go home. Bigger
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is better, And we do all these big, extravagant, loud things to
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make ourselves feel better. We're working harder to feel better and not smarter.
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And this week I want to take it down to the most simple thing that
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you should be doing to improve positivity and productivity. Enough of this mental bullying
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that's been going on, that you've been tormenting yourself, reminding yourself about how
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hard life is and how unhappy you are, and how you haven't done enough.
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I was talking to a friend of mine and she was sharing with me
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how a friend of hers who I know, I've seen this person on social
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media accomplish big thing after big thing, and she is busy right now in
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a corner somewhere. And I'm not making any light of this, because some
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of this is seasonal effective disorder. Some of this is deeper rooted, but
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at many levels, people are suffering with this feeling of not enoughness, this
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feeling of I'm not giving enough, I'm not doing enough. I'm out here
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struggling. I can't get ahead, and if I do, it's not fast
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enough. I am so far behind. And I want to quiet all of
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that noise, stop the swirl, and get us back to a space of
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empowerment, get us back to a space where we can redirect the focus.
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That's what it's all about, getting the focus back on track and not looking
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at which track should I be on? Because this is what social media says,
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and this is what the age of forty says, and this is what
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the age of twenty five says, and this is what the age of fifty
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like. We are looking at so many tracks of life that we can't figure
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out our own facts of life. And I want to get to those facts
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and the only way you can get there is to be intentional about your focus.
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So that's what it's all about. Let's shift the focus so we can
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boost your self awareness, which is needed right now, and work towards getting
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and living a more fulfilled life. So the question is what questions are you
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asking yourself? I would ask you, first of all, to ask yourself
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open questions, questions that are going to require you to think more and elaborate
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more on what it is that you're trying to do and where it is you're
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trying to go. So, in other words, don't ask yourself yes or
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no questions, and don't ask yourself the disempowering questions like the Y means.
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If you are asking yourself, think about it like this. If you're asking
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yourself a question that's only going to create more negativity and decrease your productivity,
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then you're not asking an empowering question. So let's talk about what types of
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questions you should be asking. Let me give you one, and I have
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some faves in here. So again, you should by now have a pen
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and paper to write these down. And it's not about answering these questions on
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the podcast. It's not about doing a rapid fire twenty questions getting things answered.
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It's about spending some time in your thoughts. And I know when you're
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busy and when life is happening, that's not something that we tend to do.
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And I get it. That's why we have the space. That's why
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I curated the space so we can do it. So question one, and
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I have several for you, So get your pen and paper if you don't
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already have it, and write these down. Question one? What could I
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be happy for in my life right now? What could you be happy for
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in your life right now? What could it be? See these questions allow
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you to go outside of what's happening now and think about what could be happening
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now? What could I be happy for in my life right now? Empowering
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questions should also get you out of the current and get you thinking about outside
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of that space. And it's going to be uncomfortable because we'd like to be
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able to see the next step walking up on that staircase. This is saying
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you can't see that step, so what could it be? And that makes
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it uncomfortable. And if you're uncomfortable in this exercise, you're doing it right,
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because discomfort is what keeps us in that space of negative negativity, is
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what keeps us in the box. And I want you to come outside the
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box, think outside the box, however you want to say it, but
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that's what we need to do in this time. This is another one that
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I like. Another question that I like, What kind of experiences do I
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want to have? And I love this question. And I've been intentional personally
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about asking myself this question. And I'll give you an example. For years,
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my sisters and I have said, you know, we're going to take
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a sister trip and we're gonna do these different things, and we're gonna break
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away from you know, motherhood and wifehood and you know, all the different
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hoods we're in, right, only to come up short because we didn't execute
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on it. So as we started collectively talking about the experiences that we wanted
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to have, and I started thinking about the experiences that I wanted to have.
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I decided it was time to take a trip to go see my sisters,
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and it was the best three day weekend I ever had. I arrived
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in their city early Friday morning and I left out late Sunday evening, and
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I had such a great time. I realize the kind of experiences I wanted
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to have, and together we curated that. We curated that as a group,
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we talked about it individually, and we executed it. And that's where
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I want you to go with your life. Think about the things you want
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to experience and start executing on making those things happen. And I know,
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sometimes financially and you know there's going to be time and space in between that,
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But go find out what kind of experiences you want. If you focus
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on what you want, it will expand. If you focus on the thoughts
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you want and the experience the life you want, you're going to start to
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live in it. And that's the intention of that question. Here's another question,
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in the same realm, what can I do differently to bring myself more
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happiness Again? You might be right now in a position where you are not
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happy, or you feel unhappy, or you don't have the joy that you
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once possessed or you thought you would possess. And that's why you ask yourself
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this type of question, because again, it brings you up outside of the
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current feeling, the current experience for some of you, and you start to
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think, what can I do differently? The other thing I like about this
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question is it's a very much an eye question. It's not you know,
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what's going on on the job, or what is this person doing, what's
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my partner my boyfriend? No, it is what can I do differently?
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What is a thing? Think about it, honestly, what is the thing
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that you are doing right now that if you change that thing? And I
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don't want you to focus on ten things, twenty things, not even five,
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three things. One thing? What can I do differently? If you
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can pick one thing you do differently, Maybe it's wake up earlier in the
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morning. Maybe it's having a better nighttime routine. Maybe it's journaling. It
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could be one thing whatever, think about it. Again, it's not this
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this conversation is not a time to solve the problem. It's a time to
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think about what is the art of possible in my life? This is one
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I like this one I like this one, what has been your greatest accomplishment
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so far this year? What I like about this one is it's not saying
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your accomplishment for the year, because there are still more hours, more weeks
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left for this year to come to a conclusion. I also like this because
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there's no wrong answer. You're not looking on anybody's paper to prove out the
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value of your accomplishment. Don't look to social media. Don't look at the
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person that wrote a book this year. That's not your journey, that's not
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your season. What has been your greatest accomplishment? Not compare it to anybody
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else. It's your accomplishment. That comparison will steal your joy. That comparison
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will move you outside of thinking in a productive way to an unproductive way.
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So really focus on you. I want you to carve a painting with these
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questions centered around you, for you, by you. Here's what I really
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like. These are some of my favorite ones. These coming up here.
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First one is what do you have that no one can take away from you.
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That's a really, really good question, and it's going to require you
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to peel back some of your own layers. It might be a talent,
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might be a gift, and oftentimes with talents and gifts, we because of
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how we've been patterned to transform to what the world's standards are, we tend
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to hide or not allow our gifts to unfold. I'm here to tell you
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let your gifts shine. Everyone has one a unique thing about themselves that they
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should be proud of. But somehow we got shamed into our own greatness.
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Isn't that crazy? People shame you because you're good at something, because maybe
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you're better at this other than maybe because you're better at it than someone else.
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Listen, we are all gifted, and so it's time to connect with
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that gift and recognize what you have. And sometimes it might be the thing
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that you have I found to be true may not even be something tangible per
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se. It could be that you are more compassionate than most people. It
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can be that you are more nurturing. It can be that you're a kind
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person. And we need more people like you because the world has a lot
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of unkind souls and unkind people. So people like you are important. And
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as much as people try to change you, they can't take that away from
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you. You're just kind and I thank you for being kind. I love
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this question. I love this question so much, and I talked about this
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a little bit last week, and this question is what would you do differently
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if you knew no one would judge you? And what I like about that
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question is it really allows you to go there because one of the greatest fears
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that people have outside of public speaking is the fear of being judged, a
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fear of being wrong, a fear of failing, because when you fail,
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people judge you, and so on and so forth. So it's all in
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that sphere of shame and condemnation. We get caught up in that because we
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are creating our greatest selves around pleasing people and making people feel comfortable with the
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version of ourselves that shows up in that moment. Sound familiar, Sound like
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you. So that's why I want you to go outside of what's comfortable,
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which is to make people comfortable, and go to a place where people are
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going to be uncomfortable when you show up as you. People are going to
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be uncomfortable when you do this thing that you do. People are going to
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be uncomfortable when you do something new, But you're also going to be uncomfortable.
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Are you comfortable being uncomfortable? That's like the matrix of questions. It's
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like a question within a question. But you've got to be uncomfortable with it.
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You've got to get dirty and gritty and uncomfortable because if you're going to
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do something different, it's not going to feel like anything you've done before.
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And if you're doing it that way, you're doing it right. Always remember
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that if you're doing it in a way that feels different, a way that
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feels uncomfortable, you're doing it right because you're trying to do something new.
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You ever try it on a new pair of shoes, it doesn't feel like
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the fit of a shoe that you've had for a year or six months or
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a few years. It feels like a new shoe. It's got some discomforts
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in parts. That's okay. Eventually it's gonna be like the old shoe.
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But you've got to give it somewhere. You've got to give it some reps.
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You've got to give it some walks to get to that space where it
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feels comfortable. But until then, allow it, allow that time to transpire.
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And my most favorite question. I love this question because when I read
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it, I had to reread it again and I'm like, wait a minute,
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I really like this question. Hear me out. If you could go
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back and relive one day without changing it, that's the key. What day
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would it be? If I'm gonna repeat it. If you could go back
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and relive one day without changing it, changing nothing about that day, just
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reliving that day, what day would it be? I don't know if you
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remember the movie Groundhog's Day, maybe I'm dating myself or Happy Birthday, something
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like that, But these movies are about somebody reliving a day, but the
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day is not an ideal day, and so they're trying to That's why I
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have to repeat this question. In the movie, they're trying to relive the
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day, but make changes along the way so that day can go better,
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so the day can be better, so it doesn't have these discomforts in the
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day. But what this question is saying is we're not talking about groundhogs Day.
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We're not talking about Happy Birthday to Me or whatever the name of that
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movie was. We're talking about if you could go back and relive a day,
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don't change a thing about that day, what day would it be?
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I want you to think about that, because there's something that you've lived that
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you don't mind reliving again, And that question it really got me thinking about
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some of the lives. It really had me thinking about some of the days
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I've lived and which of those days I want to relive again? And that
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put a smile on my face. And I hope you find that same level
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of joy as you do the introspect work, when you do the self awareness
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that you need to do in this exercise, and you really take an honest
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look at yourself and give yourself a chance to try these on and make the
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commitment to being authentic about your responses to these questions. I hope you enjoy
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this journey of learning more about yourself, exploring yourself, and giving yourself a
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chance to move into positivity and productivity, because because this is a form of
28:08
self care, it's a bit of shifting your mindset. It's a bit of
28:15
creating new goals and setting new targets for yourself because ultimately, you just want
28:22
to improve your life. And how you're gonna do that, it's gonna start
28:26
with your mind. So let's get you to redirecting your focus and making a
28:33
commitment to managing these empowering questions. I hope you enjoyed this week's episode of
28:47
the Urine Ritsub podcast. And the only way I'm gonna know this is if
28:49
you leave me some feedback. Feedback is a gift and it is free to
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give, and I would like to hear from you. I would like to
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know what resonated with you regarding this week episode. Now here's how you leave
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feedback on the platform in which you listen to this podcast. Follow the stars
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when you get there, leave a five star rating. But in all seriousness,
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when you get there, you can share your feedback on this podcast and
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that helps us. And when you share your feedback on this podcast, it
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helps others find us in these podcast streets. So we would definitely appreciate that.
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You can also share this episode with your friends and family right from the
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podcast. So right from the podcast platform and which you're listening to this episode,
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hit the share button and send it to the last three to five people
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what you're listening to and what's feeding you mind, body and spirit. I
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also want you to check out the show notes. In the show notes,
30:12
we have the affirmation of the week, the quote of the week, and
30:15
there you can also find my Amazon shop that your rich self shop has two
30:22
items right now, a journal which is the Show Up Everyday Journal, as
30:27
well as the Show Up Everyday Notebook. So check those out in my Amazon
30:32
shops. And finally, take what you can from this episode and do what
30:37
you must in the next one hundred and sixty eight hours so that you can
30:41
become more of your enridged self until we meet the