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Giatti Glow Life Coaching Ep 3 Breaking Limiting Beliefs · The Barbara Schnarr Podcast

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Welcome back to Jyoti Glow, my friends. I'm Barb Schnarr Jyoti,
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and I am so glad you're here.
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Every week, we come together to grow and glow, learning to live more fully and
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more consciously as we glow from the inside out.
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This is week 3 of 12 of the Jyoti Glow Life Coach Series.
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If you're following along in my 12-week life coaching book, that's great.
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If you don't have the book, that's absolutely fine, but you will want something
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to write with and write on.
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If you'd like to get the book, just
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go to the About section of Jotty Glow wherever you found this podcast.
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There will be a link to my 12 Life Coach Sessions for Coaches and Individuals
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book on Amazon, or you can go to Amazon and search for Schnarr Coach.
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That's S-C-H-N-A-R-R Coach.
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Schnarr is my maiden name, and that's what I use to write these books.
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So remember how last week I talked about my vision statement is,
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my goal is to have a successful podcast based on my coaching books that allows
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me to have financial freedom with no limitations based on time, geography, etc.
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You can bet, as someone who's never had a podcast before, that I let some doubts seep in.
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The, I don't know anything about podcasts or marketing them,
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and what if I do if nobody listens, and everybody else is better at this,
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and do I even have anything to say that's worth listening to?
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You know, all the things about how I would fail, which brings us to this week's focus.
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This week, we're talking about something that every single one of us faces, limiting beliefs.
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Think about how often you talk negatively to yourself.
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Happens all the time, like seriously, like all the time. If someone else talked
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to you that way, you wouldn't keep them in your life, right?
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So since you're always going to have you, let's work on stopping the negative
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self-talk and making our inner voice something that helps us instead of being a toxic influence.
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By the end of this episode, you'll be able to clearly spot your own limiting
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beliefs and self-talk, understand where they come from, and have the tools to
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start rewriting them into something far more empowering and useful.
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Part 1. What are limiting beliefs?
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I'm going to ask you a question. Have you ever caught yourself saying something
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like, I'm not good at that, or I could never do what they're doing,
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or that's just not who I am?
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If so, you've experienced a limiting belief. A limiting belief is a story that you tell yourself.
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It's a narrative that restricts your potential, and it's probably not true, it just feels like it is.
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A limiting belief is a mental boundary that keeps you from achieving everything you're capable of.
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For example, let's say someone is thinking of starting their own business.
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They might say, I'm not the kind of person who can handle that much responsibility.
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Or if a person who's been hurt in a relationship might say, I'm never going
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to find anyone who's going to truly get me.
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Or maybe you've heard yourself say, I'm too old to start something new.
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These statements might sound harmless, but they quietly shape your reality.
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Because what we believe determines what we do or what we don't do.
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If you believe that something isn't possible, your mind is going to automatically
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look for evidence to prove that belief correct.
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But you know what? The opposite is also true. If you believe that something
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is possible, your mind begins to find evidence to support that, too.
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Part 2. Where do limiting beliefs come from? So let's talk about where these
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beliefs actually come from.
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Most of them are hand-me-downs. We didn't choose them. We inherited them.
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Negative self-talk comes from three main places. Childhood, society,
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and past experiences. So let's take childhood first.
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Maybe you had a teacher who told you you weren't artistic and that has stuck
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with you your entire life.
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Or you had a parent or both of them who said be practical all the time when you were big dreamer.
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Or maybe you tried something, even just once, singing or writing or volleyball,
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and somebody laughed at you.
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Even a small comment made offhandedly can plant a seed that grows into a limiting belief.
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Now, side note, the people who do those things to you, that's just a split second in their life.
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They never think about it again, but somehow we carry these things through our
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entire lives. It's crazy.
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So here's a story. So one time a client told me that when she was 10,
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she tried to make her parents breakfast in bed. And she was so proud of it.
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Even though, realistically speaking, she had burned the toast and spilled some
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juice and, you know, it wasn't great, but she was really proud of herself.
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And her dad really cut her down. He's like, well, you'll never be a chef or anything.
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And 30 years, I'm not kidding, 30 years later, even when she's by herself at
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her own home, she's still telling herself, I can't cook.
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Just that one little comment sticks with
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her you know these untruths we
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tell ourselves can really get sticky and stay
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with us but we're going to work on that so second society and culture so we
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take in messages from everywhere movies social media advertising cultural and
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familial traditions so like and these are the things that are you need to look a specific certain way.
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Or you need to have everything figured out by the time you're 30 or people like us don't do that.
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These stories really put limits.
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On us, and they're not realistic in the real world, but somehow we carry them
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with us, and they put limitations on us.
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Also, that everything figured out by a 30 thing, that's not realistic at all.
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That's all I'm going to say about that.
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And third, past experiences. So maybe you started something and you failed at
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it, or maybe you were in love with someone and they hurt you,
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or maybe you took a risk and it didn't go as you planned or hoped,
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it's really easy to let one experience define who you are and,
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but not really. Do you see what I'm saying? It's like we let that one experience
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define what we believe about our entire future, even though it's not true.
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It's kind of like reading the first chapter of a book and assuming you know the ending.
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So here's the thing. I really want you to understand. Your past does not define you.
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It informs you. It just gives you data, not destiny.
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Part three, how limiting beliefs show up.
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Limiting beliefs rarely introduce themselves directly.
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It's not like they walk up and say, hi, I'm the reason you're stuck and feel
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like you can't do anything. Want to get a cup of coffee?
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They show up in behaviors, in patterns, and feelings, and like, here are some clues.
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Procrastination. You keep putting things off, not because you don't care,
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but because deep down you doubt you'll succeed.
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Perfectionism. You convince yourself that you'll start when the time is right,
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but perfectionism often is fear dressed up as productivity.
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Negative self-talk. You criticize yourself for not being enough,
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not smart enough, not thin enough, not confident enough. And comparison.
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You'll see someone succeeding and feel like you're falling behind,
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forgetting that you're on your own unique timeline.
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So here's an example. Let's say you've always wanted to learn to paint.
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You buy the brushes, the paints, the canvas, and somehow you never start.
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I think we all have some hobbies like that, where we bought all the stuff to
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do the hobby, and then we just never do it.
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You tell yourself, I just don't have the time, or I'll start when I'm less busy, or whatever.
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But if you dig deeper, maybe what's really underneath is like,
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I'm afraid I won't be good at it, and if I'm not good at it, I'll feel like I failed.
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That's a limiting belief hiding behind an excuse.
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Let's do a reflection exercise. So right now, take a deep breath.
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Think of one goal or dream that you've had on the back burner. Could be anything.
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Now, what thoughts pop up when you imagine taking a step toward it?
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Maybe you think, oh, that's stupid, or I don't know where to start,
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or it's just not realistic.
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Write down all the things that are holding you back, and then really look at
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them and figure out where they came from and if they're actually true or not.
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From there, you can trash all the junk thoughts and make obstacle blockers that
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we talked about in the first episode.
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For the things that might keep you from achieving your goals.
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Part four, the cost of limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs have a quiet way of
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shaping the life you settle for.
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So in your career, it might sound things like, oh, I could never be a team lead
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or I'm not management material.
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And before you know it, you've stopped even thinking about getting a promotion or sharing your ideas.
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In relationships, it might sound like, oh, people always leave, or it's me, I'm too much.
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And then you're afraid to be authentic or let anyone in.
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In your personal growth, it could be like, oh, I'm just not that type of person,
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or I always struggle with this.
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So you stay in your comfort zone, even when it's no longer comfortable.
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These beliefs create invisible walls, and I want you to understand that you
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can take those walls down, one thought at a time. Part 5.
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Challenging Limiting Beliefs. So now comes the part where we start to change
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and question these beliefs.
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So let's walk through this together here. So choose one belief you identified earlier.
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Something like, oh, I'm not confident, or I'm not good with money,
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or I always fail. Something like that.
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Now, ask yourself three questions. Is this belief really true?
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Where did it come from? And what's another way to see this? Let's take these
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one at a time. Is this belief really true?
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Well, prove it. If this belief is true, you can prove it, right?
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There's an unchangeable fact. or maybe it's just something I've repeated to
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myself, even though it's not true. Is this belief really true?
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Two, where did it come from? Who taught me to think this way?
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Sometimes we realize that the belief isn't truly ours.
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It's borrowed from somebody else's fear or stupid opinion.
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So we need number two is where did it come from? And number three is what's
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another way of seeing this?
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Could there be another story or another perspective that feels more empowering?
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So here's an example. Let's say your belief is, I am not a leader.
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Ask yourself, is this true?
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Yeah, maybe you're not like a CEO of a Fortune 500 company, but you lead your
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family every day, or maybe you are a volunteer leader in your community,
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or even your own healing journey every day. You're leading yourself through that.
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You make decisions, you set boundaries,
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you inspire others, and that's leadership. So you are a leader.
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Take a moment to challenge that belief, and when you do that,
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it begins to loosen its grip on you.
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So let's actually write this out. Take one limiting belief and write it down.
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Write down the belief itself, where it came from, the evidence that contradicts
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it, and write a new belief, an empowering belief, to replace it.
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For example, limiting belief. I'm terrible at managing money.
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Contradicting evidence would be, I've paid off debt before, I budget well, and I am learning.
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Your new belief could be, I am becoming more confident and capable with money every single day.
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You see the shift? You move from self-criticism to self-trust.
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Part 6. Building Empowering Beliefs So now that you've identified and challenged
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your old beliefs, it's time to build some new ones.
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Empowering beliefs are thoughts that expand your possibilities.
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They help you focus on growth and not limitation.
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And they sound like, I'm capable of learning anything I put my mind to.
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Or, I create my own opportunities. Or, every day, I'm becoming more of who I'm meant to be.
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One of my favorite things to remind clients is this. You know,
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you don't have to believe your new thought 100% at first.
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You just have to believe it a little more than you believe the old thought.
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Because repetition builds belief.
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I mean, think about how you learned your limiting beliefs in the first place,
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through years of repetition.
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So now you're going to use that same principle to rewrite your story.
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Here's an activity. Take an old belief, like I'm not creative.
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Now flip it to something empowering.
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Creativity closed through me in ways I haven't even discovered yet.
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Or maybe it's an old belief, like I always quit.
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Well, reframe that as I am learning to follow through and trust my consistency.
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Then speak these new beliefs out loud. Write them on sticky notes and put them where you'll see them.
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Put it on the lock screen of your phone. Each time you read or say them,
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you're training your mind to see new possibilities.
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Part 7. Growth Mindset and Why It Matters Let's connect this to something called
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growth mindset, a concept from psychologist Carol Tweck.
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A fixed mindset believes that your abilities are set in stone.
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I'm just not good at that. A growth mindset believes that everything can be
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developed with effort, time, and learning.
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With a growth mindset, you stop asking, can I do this? And start asking,
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how can I learn to do this?
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Imagine if you applied that to everything. I can't run a business.
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Yet. I'm not confident speaking up. Yet.
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That little word yet changes everything.
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Every skill you admire in someone else, confidence, discipline, courage, is learnable.
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It's not a personality trait. It's practice.
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So here's a reflection exercise. Think of something you've struggled with recently.
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Maybe you started a new project or tried a new hobby or took on a new challenge.
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Ask yourself, if I looked at this through growth mindset, mindset.
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What lesson would I see here? What is this challenge teaching me about myself?
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And what can I do differently next time?
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Write your thoughts down or say them out loud.
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Reflection turns experience into wisdom. Side note, we're going to do a whole
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12-week coaching series around growth mindset.
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I haven't decided in which order I'm doing these series yet. Sorry.
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But you can get my growth mindset coaching book on Amazon if you want to get
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started now, or any book by Carol Dweck that'll really help get you started
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with growth mindset, which is the power of yet.
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Part 8, Overcoming Resistance.
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So now let's talk about resistance, because when you start changing your beliefs,
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resistance will show up.
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You know, you might find yourself saying things like, oh, this feels weird, or this isn't working.
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That's normal. It's just your brain trying to keep you safe in the familiar.
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If you're used to believing something about yourself, it's easier to not challenge it, right?
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So when resistance appears, don't fight it. Meet it with curiosity.
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Ask yourself, what is this resistance trying to protect me from?
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Usually it's just fear, fear of failure, rejection, or fear of the unknown, that kind of stuff.
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Here's an example. Once a client told me she wanted to start a blog,
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but she just couldn't do it. She just couldn't sit down and start writing.
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So we thought about it for a while, and after a while, we realized it wasn't the fear about writing.
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It was the fear about being seen, much like I have with this podcast.
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So once she named that fear, she could work through it one step at a time,
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and pretty soon she got her blog up and live.
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And the key is to start small.
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Just take that one tiny action that contradicts your limiting belief.
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Because every time you act in opposition to fear, you weaken its hold.
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This week, I want you to change one small action that is a negative belief you have about yourself.
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If your belief says, I'm not brave, make that phone call you've been avoiding.
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If your belief says, I'm not creative, take five minutes to do something creative.
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If your belief says, I'm not worthy, do something kind for yourself.
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You don't need permission for that.
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Then reflect on how it feels afterwards, because every small step is a step towards victory.
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Part 9. Keeping the Momentum Breaking limiting beliefs isn't a one-time thing.
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It's an ongoing relationship you have with yourself that will only deepen over time.
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You can keep your momentum by practicing a few simple habits.
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Daily affirmations, weekly reflection, and celebrate your progress.
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With your daily affirmations, you can start every morning by saying something
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empowering And whatever you say is up to you, but it would be something like
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Today, I choose to believe in myself Weekly reflection What belief did I challenge
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this week, and how did it change me?
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And celebrate your progress No step is too small to celebrate Everything that
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builds confidence and helps rewire your brain is a good thing and a cause for celebration,
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When you celebrate your small wins, you teach your mind, change is safe,
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growth feels good. You can even have it as a mantra.
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Change is safe, growth feels good.
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So here's what I want you to take away today.
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You are not your limiting beliefs. You are the reader, writer,
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and editor of your own story.
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Your beliefs are thoughts you've practiced. And if you can practice old ones,
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you can practice new ones too, right?
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So take what we talked about today, awareness, challenge, and replacement,
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and begin rewriting the script of your mind.
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Every time you choose a more empowering thought, you're choosing to glow a little brighter.
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Thank you so much for being with me today. If you'd like to go deeper,
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check out my life coaching workbook on Amazon.
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It's a really good companion to these episodes. And until next week,
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keep growing, keep believing, and keep glowing.
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I'm Barb Schnarch-Jotty, and this is Jotty Glow.
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Jotty Glow is powered by the Life Coach Store, which is owned by me, Barb Jotty.
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On my website, you can find all kinds of great resources for over 20 types of wellness coaches.
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Check out thelifecoach.store for more information.