Latest / Healthy Boundaries for Moms| Christian Life Coach / EP 46: The Midweek Reset: Don't Quit

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EP 46: The Midweek Reset: Don't Quit · Healthy Boundaries for Moms| Christian Life Coach

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  Today was the first day of middle school for my daughter and
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  the first day of high school for my son. And if
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  I'm being real, I have been emotional today.
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  My baby is moving into the season where she's
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  just not going to need me as much. My son is beginning
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  the last 4 years before he graduates and
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  moves into whatever God has for him next, which I'm sure is going
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  to be amazing. And trust me, there's excitement in that, and I'm
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  proud of them. But there's also just a little grief that
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  I'm going through watching my kids grow up. I don't know if any of you
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  guys have experienced that. But on top of all of that,
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  I started my period today. I know, TMI.
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  So emotionally and physically, I just wasn't at 100%,
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  and instead of fighting that today I just decided to accept
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  it. Today was going to be a minimum kind of day because sometimes
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  not giving up doesn't look like pushing harder.
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  Sometimes not giving up just looks like doing less without
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  calling yourself a failure. If you're tired
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  of people pleasing, caring too much, and wondering
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  why peace still feels so hard to hold on to,
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  you're in the right place. Hi, I'm Lori, mom, former people pleaser,
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  and your boundaries coach. Here we talk about how to protect
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  your peace, set healthier boundaries, and get clear on what actually
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  matters so that you can build a life that feels lighter,
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  calmer, and more satisfying. So let's
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  stop the chaos for a minute, moms, catch our breath, and get into this
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  next episode.
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  Welcome back to Healthy Boundaries for Moms. I am your host, Lori Grimes,
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  and this is your midweek reset. So today we're
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  talking about not giving up, but probably
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  not in the way that you're expecting. This isn't about pushing through
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  at all costs or ignoring your emotions,
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  forcing yourself to perform when you are just running on
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  empty. Just running on fumes. It's about learning the difference
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  between quitting and actually just allowing yourself to
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  recuperate, because sometimes the wisest thing you can
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  do for your future self is to take a break today.
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  So normally I am a structured
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  kind of girly. I like my routines. I like knowing what
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  I'm doing and checking off those boxes. But today I didn't feel emotionally connected
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  to all of those goals that I usually end up
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  meeting. And you know what? That's okay. We aren't going to feel
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  connected to our goals and values every single day.
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  That's impossible. So sometimes you've been working towards
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  something for weeks, months, years, and you're thinking,
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  is this even working? Maybe you're not seeing the results
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  that you had expected, or maybe something has just knocked you off the
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  path or the course. Maybe life is just feeling a little heavy,
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  or maybe you're just tired. And when we're in that emotional place,
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  everything can just suddenly feel like permanent,
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  like I can't do this and this isn't working. Or have
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  you ever had that question pop up like, what is the point?
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  Or maybe I should just give up right here.
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  That's probably not the moment. To make a
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  big decision, friends. First, let your emotions
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  calm down. Give yourself a breather and take
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  a break. I want you to journal, to pray, to rest.
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  You don't have to decide today whether you can
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  keep doing this for another year. You just need to ask, what is the next
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  right step? Because your minimums still count.
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  That's what I chose to do today. I got some steps in, I just drank
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  my water, ate some good protein, I rested,
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  and I still actually got a couple things done that I wanted to
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  accomplish. But I dialed it way back. I didn't
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  expect my maximum for myself on a day when I didn't even have
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  my maximum to give, guys. And most importantly,
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  I didn't stack some shame on top of that. Now I
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  know I'm going to be back on my schedule tomorrow. I have tomorrow planned out
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  and I haven't abandoned my goals. I've allowed myself
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  to recuperate so that I can come back, and that's an important distinction,
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  right? Taking a break and giving up are not the same
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  thing. So I want you to be on the watch for all-or-nothing
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  thinking this week. This is where we get stuck in that black and white
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  Perfectionistic thinking that can really, really get
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  us into trouble. If I am not at 100%,
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  I'm at zero. That's what that perfectionistic thinking tells
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  me. Also things like, if I can't do the entire
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  workout, why do I even go to the gym? Or how about,
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  I ate an Oreo and now my day is ruined.
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  If I can't get everything on my list accomplished, then I
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  failed. But what if today is just a 40% kind of day?
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  Then give a really good 40%,
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  because again, your minimums are still counting,
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  friend. Because sometimes the thing that sends us completely
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  off the rails isn't actually the break,
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  it's the shame we're putting on top of the break.
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  We have one difficult day and we tell ourselves we have failed,
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  then we feel guilty, then we think, well, I already messed everything up.
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  And now one difficult choice starts gaining momentum,
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  right? Instead of what if you said today I need a little
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  less, I honored that. Tomorrow is a
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  new day. You didn't go off the rails,
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  guys. You just slowed down for a minute. I want you to count your
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  wins before you count yourself out. And on those days when
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  you are tempted to give up, I want you to go do something else.
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  Count your wins. Before you look at how far
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  you still have to go, look at how far you've already
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  come. Those are your wins. What have you learned? Where have you grown?
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  What are you doing today that would have been difficult for you?
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  What have you already overcome, and what progress are
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  you overlooking because you haven't reached the finish line
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  yet? Sometimes we are so focused
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  on the distance between where we are and where we want
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  to be that we completely forget about the distance between where we
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  started and where we are today. So count your
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  wins before you count yourself out. There's research behind this
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  too. In a series of 4 experiments published in Personality and Social Psychology
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  Bulletin— that's a lot of words— researchers found that responding to
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  mistakes and failure with self-compassion increased
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  people's motivation to improve. In one experiment,
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  people who responded to failure with self-compassion actually spent
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  more time studying afterward. So think about that. Giving yourself
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  grace— grace didn't make them care less.
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  It actually helped them to try again. So maybe grace
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  isn't letting yourself off the hook exactly. That's not what it's doing.
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  Maybe grace is just giving you enough emotional space to get
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  back on the hook tomorrow. So don't
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  quit in the middle, guys. Galatians 6:9 says, let us not become
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  weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if
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  we do not give up. So I love those words, at the proper
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  time, because there is usually a space between planting and
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  harvesting, right? There is a space between effort
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  and results. There is the middle. That messy middle
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  can be frustrating. You can be doing the work and still not seeing the
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  results yet, and that, that's often the place where we start questioning
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  everything that we're doing, right? Everything comes up for questioning,
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  and just because you haven't seen the harvest doesn't mean you
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  didn't plant something and something's not growing underground.
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  Maybe the breakthrough is on the other side of continuing.
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  Maybe what God is building in you through the process is just as important
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  as the outcome that you are waiting for. And maybe you don't
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  need enough strength for the entire journey today,
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  you just need enough for the next right step. So grace for today.
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  In 2 Corinthians 12:9 it says, my grace is sufficient
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  for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.
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  Sometimes, guys, we keep trying to manufacture more strength
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  Like, come on, push harder, do more, you know,
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  get yourself together. But what if we simply acknowledged,
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  God, I don't have much to give today, and allowed His grace
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  to be enough for today? So in Hebrews 4:16 it
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  says, let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence so
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  that we may receive mercy and find grace
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  to help us in our time of need. So this is our time
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  of need. Not after we've gotten ourselves all together. Not after
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  we've performed perfectly. Not when
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  we're 100%. When we need it,
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  God will give you enough grace for this step.
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  And then enough grace for the next one. And tomorrow,
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  there's new grace for tomorrow. So what does your future
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  self need? So before you give up, ask yourself, What does my future self
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  need from me today? Not the perfect version of you,
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  not the version of you who has unlimited energy,
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  motivation, time, and emotional capacity.
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  The real you with the capacity you actually
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  have today. So maybe your future self needs discipline from you
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  today. Maybe she needs some courage. Maybe she
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  just needs you to stop procrastinating and finally take a step you've been avoiding.
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  Maybe she needs you to rest. Maybe she needs you
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  to stop criticizing yourself. I need that one,
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  that one for sure. Maybe she needs you to recognize
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  how far you've already come, because taking a break
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  is not the same thing as giving up. You don't
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  need enough strength today for next year. You don't need to figure out the
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  entire journey. Just Take the walk, drink the water,
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  eat the protein, pray, write, get sleep,
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  count those wins, and don't shame yourself for having a hard day, guys.
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  Sometimes perseverance doesn't look like pushing harder.
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  Sometimes perseverance just looks like saying, I am still here,
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  I am still committed, and I am just resting
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  today. Hey friend,
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  I hope you enjoyed today's episode. If so, would you take
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  30 seconds and go join our free Facebook page at Healthy Boundaries
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  for Moms? That's where we go deeper, share what's actually working,
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  and support each other in real life. I will also share some great
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  tools and tips to help you along this journey. I have also included a link
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  to sign up for our brand new weekly newsletter. Letter in the Facebook
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  group. Don't forget to hit follow and leave a quick review on Apple.
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  It really lets me know that this podcast is helping you. More importantly,
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  it helps more women find this podcast. Now go say
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  no to something that's stealing your peace and say yes to something
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  you actually need. And I'll meet you back here in the next episode.