Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / Friday feature - People pleasing

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Friday feature - People pleasing · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Appogiate production.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: People pleasing.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Yes, people pleasing. I feel like most women especially, Yeah,
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: like we are all people pleasers. We've got tendencies. Some
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: of us are on different ends of the scale. But
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: let's chat about it, unpack it and find ways that
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: you can start saying no and feel good about it.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: M hm. So people please. As someone who is like,
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: their intentions are to always please other people at the
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: cost of whatever that means to them. Yeah, Like, even
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: if it doesn't feel good for them, their whole goal
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: is to just make sure everyone else is happy and.
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: Make sure everyone feels comfortable, make sure they're not fluffing
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: any feathers, make sure there's no confrontation. I feel like
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: it's as well to keep themselves safe.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: One hundred percent. That's what they've learned to do, Yeah,
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: as a child.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: And they tend to sacrifice their own wants and needs
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: above anyone else's. So even if they are run down,
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: burnt out, don't have any capacity at all, they don't
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: want to tell a friend no. They're going no, I
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: don't want to do that. They'll think I'm a bad friend.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: They have these two es in their head that they're
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: going to be a bad person by simply saying no.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: Biologically, we are wired to want to be accepted into
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: the tribe and to be part of the tribe. So
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: a lot of us have you been taught by ca
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: gibers or parents or society that if you don't be
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: nice and you don't say yes to things, you'll miss
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: out on opportunities. People weren't like you, they won't invite
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: you again if you don't say yes. So we've got
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: all these like old stories that are ingrained in us.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: So as adults now it's like, oh gosh, if I
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: don't say yes, they might not like me, they might
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: not accept me. What if I don't get invited again?
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: Like what if that oportunity never comes again? But even
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: tho it doesn't feel right, what if I don't get
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: that chance again? So we're living in fear, yeah, that
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: if we don't say yes and please other people, that
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: we're not going to be accepted and be a part
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: of it all.
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: No, And I feel like this also goes back to
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: the different generations. I don't know about you, but being
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: brought up always use your manners, always be polite, don't
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: speak up, don't question why people are doing things, that's
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: classified as rude. Yea, even if what other people are
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: doing is wrong or is hurting or upsetting us at.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: The cost of your own happiness. And everything's at a cost,
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: it was as yourself at what cost? So when you
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: were saying yes to someone, whether that's to help them move,
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: you know, houses, or to look after their puppy when
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: they're away, or to do whatever, ask yourself, Okay, what
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: does that feel good for me?
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: At what cost?
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: If I say yes to that, does that mean to
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: miss out on time with my friends and family or
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: does that mean I miss out on time working on
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: my projects if I'm helping with yours? And in the
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: long run, you're just living your life for literally every
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: single person except for yourself. And guess what, No one's
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: doing that for you. No, no, not for you.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: They're not worrying about in it for themselves.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: Everyone is in it for themselves. Uh huh. So you
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: have to start saying no to other people so that
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: you can start saying yes to yourself. Usually people pleases
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: are people who struggle with confidence and need external validation
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: and approval by friends and family. This is so true, Yeah, Like,
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: it's such a true statement and I've spoken about this
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: before as well, But I was such a people pleaser
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: because I didn't think people actually liked me for me. Instead,
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: they liked what I could bring to the table. Yeah,
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: and this is only my twenties too. You know, my
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: business blew up. I grew a massive following. I had
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: a lot of money back of my twenties. We were
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: killing it too much that we didn't even know how
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: to like handle the how fast our business was scaling.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: And I don't think I want to believe like none
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: of my friends or people around me use me. But
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: I had a story that people didn't like me for me,
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: they liked what I could bring to the table. So
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: if I didn't say yes to things and come with
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: everything there that they wouldn't like me. So I would
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: just say yes to everything. I never would tune into
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: like does it feel good for me to say yes
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: to help that person with their business? Does it feel
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: good for me to say yes to lend that person money?
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: Does it feel good for me to be posting about
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: that personal whatever? I never it was just always yes,
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: of course I'll help you. I'm that person, I'm the giver.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: I'm always there for everyone. Of course, I can help
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: you like I want everyone to succeeed, I want everyone
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: to be happy, and then it just burns you out.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: And like I said, I don't think anyone actually used me.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: Who knows, I'm not sure. But now it's like I
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: say yes if it feels good for me. Of course,
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: I love helping people, but it's not going to be
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: at the cost of my own business. No, at my
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: own energy, at my own time with my family, and
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: my own emotional wellbeing or mental health like that has
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: to come first, otherwise I can't help anyone.
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like I was people pleasing a lot
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: surrounding work and my work ethic. I feel like I've
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: felt very valued in that area of my life. Literally
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: from the first time I ever got a job. I
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: feel like I've always been a pretty hard worker. And
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: looking back now in reflection, when we were even talking
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: about this podcast episode, this is something that came to
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: me throughout it and I was like, wow, I was
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: that person's like, Oh I can work this that day.
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: I can do that. I can do that shift that
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: no one else wants to do because I so valued
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: that part of me and thought that if I didn't
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: show up and set those boundaries that I wasn't as
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: good of a worker, or I wasn't going to I
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: don't know read.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: It's part of your identity to be successful, available and
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: like that girl that people can rely on.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: And everyone always commented, everyone's like, gosh, it's such a
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: hard worker. Gosh, like look at you, like you can
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: juggle so many balls in the air, Like holy duly,
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: you've done five dispenses today and you've done thirty like
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: and I was like, oh wow, like I can do this,
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: and I've got the energy, like I can actually do this.
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: But then yeah, it got to a point where I
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: was like at what costs? And I feel like I
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: still to this day struggle with that. I'm getting so
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: much better now than what I was. But like, even
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: when I look back at last year, it's that people
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: pleasing around my work ethics because it's a part of
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: my identity, and if I didn't do things a certain
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: way or if I cut back on things, it made
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: me feel like I was a failure. Growing up to
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: a lot of people around me had their own businesses,
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: and I saw them have everything happening in the way it's happening.
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: I saw them work their absolute ass off and run
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: themselves to the ground. Multiple people around me that had
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: their own business. So in my head, I was like,
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: that's what you have to have, but you definitely don't.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: You have to at the start. You have to go
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: through phases of that and different transitions and different areas,
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: but you don't have to say yes to everything. You
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: don't have to be like, oh, I can do this
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: and I can do that. You can go yeah nah,
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: so yeah in my work area, I feel like that's
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: somewhere where I've really kind of had struggled with that previously.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: So should had about how to progress forward something they're
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: struggling with. So first thing is to recognize that you
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: have got a choice and ask yourself the question at
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: what cost? You might look at it and be like, yeah, Like,
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna feel a bit tired, I'm gonna be pushing
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: myself too much. But I feel like I've got the
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: capacity right now. I don't have young kids, i don't
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: have this. All my kids are at school. I've got
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: to hold a hand. Yet this is my season to
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: go in on all this, or you might go, you
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: know what I feel like right now is not the
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: right time. I'm going to push back on this right now.
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: So it's all about asking yourself these questions and sometimes
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: as well to say to someone, can you just give
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: me a week to think about this. Can you give
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: me a week to get back to you, or can
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: you give me a day, depending on what it is
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: to actually give yourself the time to go, ooh do
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: I want to do this?
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah? Let me look at everything around me, let me
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: see if this is fitting right now?
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: And that is so powerful just knowing that you have
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: the choice, because you often hear people say my mom
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: made me like help her move the house, or like, oh,
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: my work colleague like made me do all this stuff.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: It's like, well, do they hold a gun to your
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: head and say I'm gonna kill you if you don't
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: do this. No, that's still a choice that you have
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: said yes, I'll do that, or no, I actually can't
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: do that. Yeah. If you cannot do something you don't
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: want to do it, that is your choice.
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, or even set your boundary, go, I can come
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: for an hour and then that's all I've got. Like,
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: I can come for one hour, then I really need
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: some time with my family. Haven't seen my kids all day,
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: Like alway. Yeah, so you can set the solid boundaries
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: as well. So that's the best thing actually that I've
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: learned is like as well, if you're having someone like
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: come over and they like linger people pleasing hard, a
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: little bit off topic. But if you ever have that too,
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: Like what we do is we'll be like, oh, we'll
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: me out, or like let's go on a walk, or
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: even if you want to have a hard conversation, I
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: go on a walk so you can like go separate
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: ways afterwards, you're not like stuck in this awkward energy.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: So true, you set timeframes, like Kurt and I will
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: do this with certain people, Like if I want to
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: be like, oh I need to chat with this person,
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: I will tell them I'll go on to walk with them,
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: so like have a chat, or well go to a park.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: So that you can exit when you need to.
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: That's it, honestly, rather than a.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: Pleasing and not being able to communicate. Hey, we actually
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: want to have our own time, now, can you sk
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: it out a.
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: Lo out of that? Yeah, Or a lot of the
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: time when we meet up with people, will do it
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: outside the house. Yeah, because you might love it and
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: you want to hang or invite them back. If you
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: guys are having a great time, the kids are good
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: in that, But if you're like going far out because
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: you've had a huge week, don't know how they're going
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: to be, what their capacity is going to be, like
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: to meet at the park for a barbecue, meet down
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: the beach for a swim.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: Like parenting one oh one, Yeah, love it, but.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: Then people pleasing too. You're kind of getting the best
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: of both words. You're not putting yourself in a position
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: where you don't have much controuble, or putting yourself in
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: a bit of an awkward situation.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, where you feel awkward, you struggle to communicate, like
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: we want to go, or.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: If you're not super close to someone, yeah, yes, oh
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: my gosh.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: Like we said before, no one else is looking out
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: for you, like you have to look out for yourself.
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: You have to be your own best friend. And it's
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: just always just asking what exactly feels right to me,
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: because no one else can make that decision for you either. Yeah,
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: So being solid in that and being your own best
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: friend and.
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: Cheerleader, listening to your intuition, following that gut feeling.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: Yes, not just doing what you've always done. He's done
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: you gonna get the same result and you're going to
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: feel the same And if you keep saying yes to
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: everyone else too, I feel like not only are you
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: letting yourself down, but you're also building out resentment against
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: them as well, because you feel like they are using
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: you or they are taking advantage of you. Like all
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: that kind of language can pop up.
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: Aha, And you know what too, It feels yucky to
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: tell someone no in the moment, but if you wait,
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: how much yucky it does it feel if you say
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: yes and then you've got to go ahead and do
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: something that you don't want to do. Your heart's not
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: in it. Like, I know it's tough in that moment
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: to go like nah, Like I think I might miss
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: out on this one. But how much harder is it
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: when you say the wrong thing than what you actually.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: We commit to something you don't want to go, and
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: then you have to go to that event or whatever
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: it is. I know, so much harder to actually go
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: do that?
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: Is that old choose your herd you always talk about. Yeah,
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: it's hard in the moment, but it's looking out for
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: the future.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: Yes, And I think we spoke about this previous episode,
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: but I.
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: Think we chat about it yesterday when we're talking about this.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: When you have strong boundaries, surrounding yourself with people that
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: have strong boundaries and on themselves, it gets easy to
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: say no because they get it. Yeah, that's say no.
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: They're not judging you no, because the.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: People that struggle with your nose, you'll see, they struggle
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: with their own boundary settings.
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: Projection is that. Yeah, like they struggle to say no themselves.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they make the same because they don't have boundaries.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: Though they can't handle someone else having boundaries. It feels
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: uncomfortable for them because it's quite a powerful thing for
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: someone to be able to say no. Yeah, And they
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: used to them saying yes and giving the into everything
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: that when someone else does and it's like oh yeah
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: oh and they almost like take offense to it. Yeah.
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: And another thing too, like if no feels a little
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: bit too hard, like a stepping stone is like, oh,
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: I might miss out this time. Next time, I'd love
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: to come. If you want to invite me, like, I'll
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: come then, So you can do a few little stepping
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: stones rather be like no, which no is fine as well,
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: but if you're feeling like, oh, that feels a bit harsh,
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: I'd love to come next time, but this time, like
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: you know, things are happening.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: Or or do you ever feel like Sometimes I still
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: catch myself like over explaining like oh I can't come
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: because this happened, this happened, this happened, this happened. Yeah,
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: where you should be able to just say no. So
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: I still fluff around Sometimes I'm like, oh, next time,
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: yet something I would love to come. I'm just so
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: fucking it.
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: But it depends on the person. Again, I feel like,
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: if it's somebody who like know, is not gonna be
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: very happy about it, I'm so sorry.
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: If they're so excited to have you there or whatever.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: That's when I'm like, I do feel bad, but you
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: still need to honest.
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: That's your own detriment. Yes. Another thing is to ask yourself, like,
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: what is the worst that can happen? Yes, once you
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: put that boundary place to say no, it's not like
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: they're going to go, well, no, you're actually going.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: To it, or we're not friends anymore.
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: I'm dragging you there, it's not gonna have yet, we're
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: not friends anymore.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: They did say that we're not friends anymore, then that's
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: not the kind of friend that.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: You're that's it, and that's wholly on them by you
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: stick into your boundaries. It's got nothing to do with them.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: Their emotions and their emotions to manage, and yours are yours,
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: and you're putting yourself first.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: Yes, that's such a good question in any situation. Hey,
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: I ask myself that all the time. If I'm scared
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: of something like getting on stage and talking, what's the
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: worst thing that can happen to me? Right now? I
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: forget what I'm saying, I crack a joke saying and
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: being honest, and I forget what I'm saying.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: I fall over.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: God, that would be a viral bit I leak with
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: my period. Okay, pretty relatable. Most of my audience is
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: probably going to be females. Is there anything else really
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: bad that can happen? Probably? Not, Like it's not that
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: bad when you think about it. No, But you get
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: so worked up over situations.
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: It's a far or flight response to you know that
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: you're wired that way and you can logically understand it,
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: but it's telling yourself in those moments.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: Emotional and logical just so far apart, sometimes oh so
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: far apart. And yeah, yeah, But when you ask that
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: logical question, what's the worst thing that can happen. It's like, oh,
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: brings you back down to earth. It does not that bad. No,
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: it's if that happens, cool, I've got a plan now
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: I'll laugh about it. Yeah, and just remember, like were
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: touched on as well, like how they respond is not
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: your issue. No, it's not your responsibility and it's not
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: your problem unfortunately, and that's something they have to work on.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: And when you hold your strong boundaries and say no,
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: you're also leading the way. You're also showing them how
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: to have boundaries, how to say no, and you're giving
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: them a permission slip that they too can do that. Yeah,
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: so know that, like you're being an example for them.
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: They'll feel more safe next time they want to say
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: no to you because she said my last time, Like,
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: I'm just going to say no this time.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: That's that a relationship that you're building, which is really
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: cool because that's the relationship. If you're listening to this,
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: I'm guessing that's sort of kind of relationships that you're
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: wanting in your life. So hold the torch, be the
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: leader and show them the way.