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THE PEDESTAL TRAP: Are You Mistaking Inspiration for Perfection? 💡😬 · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

0:05
Speaker 1: Apode Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashy
0:13
Speaker 1: and I'm Tiana.
0:14
Speaker 2: This podcast is about female empowerment and encouraging you to
0:17
Speaker 2: be your biggest, boldest, and most authentic version of yourself.
0:20
Speaker 1: We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level.
0:23
Speaker 1: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone
0:26
Speaker 1: else is too afraid to talk about.
0:28
Speaker 3: Get ready for your next level of self.
0:31
Speaker 1: Welcome back, guys, Back in your ears four times a week,
0:33
Speaker 1: which is so cold, loving all the feedback and all
0:35
Speaker 1: the different variety of the episodes.
0:37
Speaker 2: You girls like variety like we do, and we know
0:39
Speaker 2: you're gonna be loving it. It's just so fun.
0:41
Speaker 1: And She Rises like a box of roses. You don't
0:42
Speaker 1: know what chocolate are you gonna go? You never know.
0:44
Speaker 2: You might get a good one, might get a really
0:46
Speaker 2: good one.
0:47
Speaker 1: Aboutally wout tooting your own horn? OHI if you're not
0:50
Speaker 1: gonna toot our own horns, no one's.
0:51
Speaker 3: Gonna do well.
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Speaker 2: I'm gonna do it too, too, mother, Just kidding. Today's
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Speaker 2: episode is all about something that you might find yourself
0:58
Speaker 2: getting trapped in. So are you mistaking inspiration for perfection?
1:03
Speaker 2: We want to talk about the petis trap and how
1:06
Speaker 2: easy it is to pedestal others and how easy it
1:09
Speaker 2: is for us to get caught up in people being
1:12
Speaker 2: this perfected, idolized version of who we think they are,
1:16
Speaker 2: and what tends to happen to our sense of self
1:19
Speaker 2: when we are prioritizing and putting people so high on
1:21
Speaker 2: a pedestal, and where we end up as well. So
1:24
Speaker 2: we kind of want to talk about that, overcoming that
1:26
Speaker 2: and how to stop pedestaling people, bringing them back to
1:30
Speaker 2: neutral and bringing yourself up as well.
1:32
Speaker 1: Definitely, something someone said to me, I cannot remember who
1:36
Speaker 1: said it to me, might have been Katie Ford, but
1:38
Speaker 1: something she said to me was, whoever you put on
1:40
Speaker 1: a pedestal will always fall off. No one is exempt
1:43
Speaker 1: from being human and making mistakes. Yeah. I love that.
1:45
Speaker 1: And when we put someone on a pedestal and say
1:48
Speaker 1: they make a mistake, we are left with so much disappointment. True,
1:52
Speaker 1: and we make up all these stories about oh I
1:54
Speaker 1: thought they were this person or I thought they did this,
1:56
Speaker 1: and it's like you almost dehumanize them. Yeah, it doesn't
2:00
Speaker 1: matter if you're a celebrity, a social media influencer, Mum, humans,
2:05
Speaker 1: this is all of our first time living. I think
2:08
Speaker 1: some people have had other lives, but like we're all
2:11
Speaker 1: learning as we go. I don't like the whole pedestal thing,
2:14
Speaker 1: yet I do it. The person I put on a
2:16
Speaker 1: pedestal is my coach Taylor. Yeah, and I literally said
2:18
Speaker 1: that to him. It's like, stop doing that. I'm like,
2:21
Speaker 1: but you are, You're a mat Like he's perfection in
2:23
Speaker 1: my eyes when it comes to a human being, like
2:26
Speaker 1: the best heart, so knowledgeable. Yeah, his wisdom, his lessons,
2:30
Speaker 1: his playfulness, like good dad, he's a great dad. Like
2:33
Speaker 1: everything about him. I'm like, you are up there. I've
2:35
Speaker 1: never seen him lose his shit or say something negative
2:37
Speaker 1: or I don't know, just fall off his pedestal that
2:40
Speaker 1: I put him on. Yeah, he stays up there, but
2:42
Speaker 1: I know it's not productive or beneficial for him or
2:45
Speaker 1: for me.
2:45
Speaker 2: And we talked with celebrities as well. Yeah, I've definitely
2:48
Speaker 2: done it. I've done it to celebrities. I've done it
2:49
Speaker 2: to people in my life, best friends, like business coaches,
2:53
Speaker 2: because you just have so much love and admiration and
2:56
Speaker 2: you're inspired by them and you just think they're the
2:58
Speaker 2: best fucking human. And I do that with you. I
3:00
Speaker 2: love you a pedestal too, you know, And so it's
3:03
Speaker 2: just it's so easy to do because we have much
3:05
Speaker 2: admiration for others. But it also sometimes with that admiration
3:09
Speaker 2: for others comes immediately putting ourselves down. It does, doesn't it,
3:13
Speaker 2: Because it's like, well, if this person's up here, then
3:16
Speaker 2: I'm down here, yes, you know, And that's an interesting
3:19
Speaker 2: thing to do because sometimes we think. You know, the
3:21
Speaker 2: way that I used to think was that two powers
3:24
Speaker 2: couldn't exist at once. Yeah, you know, it's like, oh wow,
3:26
Speaker 2: this person is so incredible and intelligent and beautiful and
3:30
Speaker 2: amazing and you know, a good mum and all these things.
3:32
Speaker 2: And it was like automatically that meant that I couldn't
3:35
Speaker 2: be that too. It was like there was no room almost,
3:39
Speaker 2: you know.
3:40
Speaker 1: It's such a good way to put it.
3:41
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was like, oh, well, if this is true,
3:43
Speaker 2: then what that means I'm automatically down here. And then
3:45
Speaker 2: it's like self deprecating and it's like, oh, well I'm
3:48
Speaker 2: not as smart, I'm not as beautiful. And you go
3:49
Speaker 2: into comparison and there's a really slippery slope from there.
3:52
Speaker 1: It's a very slippery slope. And then on the other
3:55
Speaker 1: side of that is when people put you on a pedestal,
3:58
Speaker 1: which I have experience, and I was talking to you
4:00
Speaker 1: about it the other day. It's a silly example. When
4:03
Speaker 1: I was in the fitness industry and I was leanest, fittest,
4:06
Speaker 1: like look at my best. Peoplet me on a pedestal
4:09
Speaker 1: for always eating perfect and being perfect and having my
4:13
Speaker 1: life together and all of it. And I remember grocery
4:16
Speaker 1: shopping so many times and like someone had done my program,
4:19
Speaker 1: like look at my troul and be like, oh my god,
4:21
Speaker 1: do you eat that. I didn't if you ate that,
4:23
Speaker 1: I thought you were only clean eat that's what your
4:24
Speaker 1: diet plan is about clean eating. But you've got chocolate
4:26
Speaker 1: in there. Yeah, And I'm like, oho, I felt this
4:29
Speaker 1: immense amount of pressure, yeah, to be perfect with my
4:32
Speaker 1: eating all the time because I looked this way and
4:35
Speaker 1: I sold a clean any diet plan. I was all
4:37
Speaker 1: about whole food eating. There was no room for me
4:39
Speaker 1: to be balanced or enjoying my snacks or treats or whatever.
4:43
Speaker 1: I was like, oh gosh, But that was up to
4:45
Speaker 1: me to change that narrative, for me to teach and communicate.
4:49
Speaker 1: And it doesn't have to be one way or the other.
4:52
Speaker 1: But just to bring me back down to like, I'm
4:54
Speaker 1: still a human. I get emotional and emotionally eat. Once
4:57
Speaker 1: I started talking about that, I think it brought me
4:59
Speaker 1: back down to being a human humanized me. Yeah, but
5:02
Speaker 1: it was up to me to openly have those conversations
5:04
Speaker 1: and not pretend that I was perfect. Yeah, I think
5:06
Speaker 1: I had. Yeah, probably done for way too long. I
5:09
Speaker 1: was like, yes, I love eating healthy and cleaning. I
5:12
Speaker 1: still do now, but I like to eat ice cream.
5:15
Speaker 3: Yeah, we like a snack.
5:17
Speaker 1: I eat ninety percent or gadding, but I still like
5:19
Speaker 1: to fake ten. Yes, yes, I use the best of
5:23
Speaker 1: the best products, but I like a spray of perfume
5:26
Speaker 1: shoot me.
5:27
Speaker 2: Yeah, she liked to smell good.
5:29
Speaker 1: I am not perfect in everything you do. But when
5:33
Speaker 1: you put someone on a pedestal, you're putting a lot
5:34
Speaker 1: of pressure on them to maintain this image and box
5:37
Speaker 1: that you've put them in.
5:38
Speaker 2: Yeah.
5:38
Speaker 1: Once again, not productive for you or for them or
5:40
Speaker 1: for them. Yeah O true.
5:42
Speaker 2: I remember having a friend one time pedestal me a
5:45
Speaker 2: little bit, and I always remember feeling a little bit
5:47
Speaker 2: uncomfortable with her because I felt the pressure of being like, oh, well,
5:50
Speaker 2: you don't do anything wrong and I'm like, no, I
5:52
Speaker 2: fuck up all the time, you know. And I think
5:55
Speaker 2: she used to compliment me a lot on like my wisdom,
5:57
Speaker 2: and you know, she's like, we always know the right
5:59
Speaker 2: thing to say, and I was like, but no, I don't,
6:02
Speaker 2: you know, because I care and I have experiences that
6:04
Speaker 2: have helped me get a level of wisdom that you know,
6:07
Speaker 2: maybe is beneficial for you at the time. But then
6:10
Speaker 2: I was like, fuck, Like now I have to always
6:12
Speaker 2: have the right thing to say, and I can't never
6:15
Speaker 2: have nothing to say and just be quiet or you know,
6:17
Speaker 2: not say the right thing. And I just want yeah,
6:20
Speaker 2: I just remember feeling like what you were saying. Now
6:23
Speaker 2: I need to uphold this thing of like I always
6:25
Speaker 2: have the right thing to say and I always know
6:27
Speaker 2: what to say and give good advice and all that
6:29
Speaker 2: sort of stuff, and.
6:31
Speaker 1: This perfect person that they've made you out to be.
6:33
Speaker 2: And then I absolutely did that all I wanted to do.
6:36
Speaker 2: I constructed my life around being well spoken and having
6:40
Speaker 2: the right thing to say and always being well presented
6:42
Speaker 2: and being smart and all that sort of stuff. And
6:44
Speaker 2: I was just like, I don't feel like that like
6:47
Speaker 2: all the time. Just want to be me, And how
6:49
Speaker 2: much harder is it to connect with people when they
6:51
Speaker 2: see you in that way where you're not allowed to
6:53
Speaker 2: make any mistakes. I feel like I'm limited to what
6:55
Speaker 2: I can actually do and be within this dynamic.
6:58
Speaker 1: You're not being authentic, no, all of you. Yeah, the
7:01
Speaker 1: polished perfection version of you that you think they want
7:05
Speaker 1: you to be, to be loved and accepted.
7:07
Speaker 2: Yeah, And then if you don't show up? Is that
7:09
Speaker 2: then what happens if I if I don't project it,
7:12
Speaker 2: will they leave me? Am I not good enough? Are
7:15
Speaker 2: they going to judge.
7:16
Speaker 1: Me more than yeah, someone else? I want to be
7:19
Speaker 1: that person?
7:20
Speaker 2: Yeah?
7:21
Speaker 1: Yeah? Interesting?
7:21
Speaker 2: Isn't it so crazy? I remember this time I had
7:25
Speaker 2: a business coach who was also my best friend at
7:27
Speaker 2: the time. I just like pedestaled her so much, just
7:29
Speaker 2: for everything like business and life and the way that
7:32
Speaker 2: she parented and all that sort of stuff. And it
7:34
Speaker 2: just became to a point where it actually became unproductive
7:37
Speaker 2: because in the moments where I had her on this
7:40
Speaker 2: expectation of like her being superhuman, we actually had a
7:44
Speaker 2: conversation around her saying those things to me and being like,
7:46
Speaker 2: I feel like I can't be anything else, Like I
7:49
Speaker 2: can feel the pressure and the pedestal, and like, because
7:52
Speaker 2: then I would get disappointed if something, you know, she
7:54
Speaker 2: didn't show up the way that I wanted her to,
7:56
Speaker 2: all the way that I expected her to in my mind.
7:58
Speaker 2: Then I would get really like in thoughts. You know,
8:01
Speaker 2: it's like when you put a celebrity up on a
8:03
Speaker 2: pedestal and you know, let's say example, you know Justin Bieber,
8:06
Speaker 2: he's a child star whatever, and growing up he was
8:09
Speaker 2: really good doing all these things. But then he got
8:11
Speaker 2: into his teenage years and then he started doing silly
8:13
Speaker 2: things and getting arrested and drinking and middle teenager just
8:17
Speaker 2: being a teenager, and then everyone is like, why are
8:20
Speaker 2: you doing that?
8:20
Speaker 1: That's why would you show.
8:21
Speaker 3: Up like that?
8:22
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right an example, Yeah, yeah, and so make
8:26
Speaker 1: mistakes basically, yeah.
8:27
Speaker 2: And I just remember feeling like this was obviously not
8:30
Speaker 2: productive for her or me because it damages a friendship.
8:32
Speaker 2: For one, you can't connect, there's no vulnerability. There's almost
8:35
Speaker 2: like this invisible barrier between you and that person because
8:38
Speaker 2: you're not on the same wavelength. I just remember feeling
8:41
Speaker 2: like overly disappointed about certain things because I had all
8:43
Speaker 2: these expectations and even that for me to project it
8:46
Speaker 2: onto her.
8:46
Speaker 1: Is so unfair.
8:47
Speaker 2: It's just unfair to do it, and it's unfair for
8:50
Speaker 2: that person to receive it as well.
8:51
Speaker 1: It's both ends, isn't that I'm late? I put Levi
8:54
Speaker 1: on a pedestal. Yeah, for so many years. Yeah, and
8:58
Speaker 1: it really prevented us from having a beautiful friendship. We
9:01
Speaker 1: have a really beautiful friendship. We have like a really
9:03
Speaker 1: nice bond, very similar on so many levels. But for
9:07
Speaker 1: years I put him on such a pedestal that I
9:09
Speaker 1: could even talk in front of him. Sometimes. He was just,
9:12
Speaker 1: in my eyes, the smartest, most knowledgeable person when it
9:16
Speaker 1: comes to health, fitness, business, like everything that I wanted
9:19
Speaker 1: to be. He was my business partner. I would struggle
9:23
Speaker 1: to like give ideas or voice my opinion or ask
9:26
Speaker 1: him a question because I thought he thought I was dumb. Yes,
9:29
Speaker 1: and if it would look at me in a certain way,
9:31
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, he's judging me.
9:32
Speaker 2: Yeah.
9:33
Speaker 1: I just could not be myself around him. And I
9:35
Speaker 1: used to say he did, I'm so scared of Levi.
9:38
Speaker 1: I'm so scared to like talk to him to suggest things.
9:40
Speaker 1: I just and then one day I just pulled my
9:43
Speaker 1: fucking head out of my own asshole.
9:45
Speaker 3: That's like, what the hell are you doing? Yeah, and
9:47
Speaker 3: I just got over it.
9:48
Speaker 1: I got over it and I pulled him down and
9:50
Speaker 1: I was just like, this is so stupid. And then
9:53
Speaker 1: our friendship can actually start to develop because we could
9:55
Speaker 1: just be our souls around each other. I actually should
9:57
Speaker 1: ask him if he ever felt that from me, because
10:00
Speaker 1: I never really communicated that's what I did to him.
10:03
Speaker 1: I always told him, I complimented him, you're so smart,
10:05
Speaker 1: so you said that. He never denied it. But I
10:09
Speaker 1: wonder if he ever felt that pressure for me, because
10:11
Speaker 1: once I kind of let that go, we just developed
10:13
Speaker 1: a beautiful friendship. And I also then was like, oh, yeah,
10:16
Speaker 1: he's smart and he's great. Perfect example. You ask LEVI
10:20
Speaker 1: is a pistachio healthy, most people just want to yes
10:23
Speaker 1: or a no or yep. They're full of great healthy fats.
10:25
Speaker 1: Don't over consume them. They're quite calorie dnse just a
10:28
Speaker 1: little broken down version, right, you ask LEVI is a
10:31
Speaker 1: pistacio healthy. He will give you two a four pages
10:37
Speaker 1: all about starchios and you'll probably read it and half
10:40
Speaker 1: the words you've never heard of in your life. So
10:42
Speaker 1: he was doing this in our business to these girls
10:44
Speaker 1: that wanting to lose weight or want it to be healthy,
10:45
Speaker 1: and I'll be like, what the fuck is he just written?
10:48
Speaker 1: So I realized he had his strength and the knowledge,
10:50
Speaker 1: but I had the strength of breaking it down in
10:51
Speaker 1: a way that women could actually understand. We're a really
10:53
Speaker 1: good team because some things actually don't know or I'm
10:56
Speaker 1: not qualified dancer. He's qualified natural path and nutritionist, so
10:59
Speaker 1: he's always kind of be in the backbone of everything
11:01
Speaker 1: that I've done. But I could see my strength and
11:04
Speaker 1: see his. So I took them off the pedestal and
11:06
Speaker 1: it kind of just evened us out, and I'm like,
11:07
Speaker 1: let's work together. Yes, And from there, like I just
11:10
Speaker 1: felt like our business grew, our relationship grew. Everything felt
11:13
Speaker 1: so much better. It was a huge lesson for me
11:15
Speaker 1: to be like, why do you put these people up
11:17
Speaker 1: so high and then you push yourself so far down
11:21
Speaker 1: that your old stories. If I'm too dumb, I'm not capable,
11:23
Speaker 1: I can't do it, just like linger, Yeah, And it
11:26
Speaker 1: prevents you from growing and developing as a person or
11:28
Speaker 1: in your business, and it stops the connection.
11:31
Speaker 3: It really does.
11:32
Speaker 2: What you just said about how it made you show
11:34
Speaker 2: up is so true. Self inflicted right, we pedestal somebody else,
11:39
Speaker 2: and then it makes us show up in a really
11:41
Speaker 2: incongruent way or inauthentic way. I remember with this friend
11:45
Speaker 2: of mine, I never wanted her to see me where
11:47
Speaker 2: I was at with money because she was really like
11:50
Speaker 2: thriving in her business and stuff like that. So I
11:52
Speaker 2: was like, oh, I felt shame around this, and because
11:55
Speaker 2: she was doing really well in that, I was like, oh,
11:56
Speaker 2: I need to be seen as this too, And so
11:58
Speaker 2: I was showing up incongruently because I never wanted her
12:01
Speaker 2: to judge me for that, even though she would have
12:03
Speaker 2: never judged me for that, but it was my own
12:05
Speaker 2: shit of like pedestaling her and then making her this
12:08
Speaker 2: superhuman and then being like oh fuck, like if this
12:11
Speaker 2: superhuman wants to spend time with me, I've got to
12:12
Speaker 2: be superhuman too, And then it put pressure on me
12:15
Speaker 2: to perform, and then it was just like, of course
12:18
Speaker 2: you're going to go separate ways when you can't connect
12:20
Speaker 2: correctly in a vulnerable way.
12:22
Speaker 1: That's so true. I remember even the time, so I
12:25
Speaker 1: went to festivals like partied a bit. Yeah, we had
12:27
Speaker 1: like I did a surprise birthday for Steve one year,
12:29
Speaker 1: and we were all partying and having a good time.
12:32
Speaker 1: But like none of us wanted to be around Levi
12:35
Speaker 1: because he was so healthy and didn't party that we
12:38
Speaker 1: excluded him. Yeah, we thought he was judging us and
12:41
Speaker 1: jawing us for as as a matter of fact, you
12:43
Speaker 1: probably don't give two shits. No, I to celebrate and
12:45
Speaker 1: have a good time, and yeah, in his own way,
12:47
Speaker 1: which is what I do now. I don't drink anymore,
12:49
Speaker 1: and I wouldn't judge other people for doing it. Like
12:51
Speaker 1: I've got Chess's hens coming up and guarantee I'll be
12:54
Speaker 1: the only so there. Yeah, they're all going to have
12:56
Speaker 1: a big fun night. Yeah you do you Yes, But
12:59
Speaker 1: I look back on that night now, I'm like, oh wow,
13:01
Speaker 1: we really would have left him out and he would
13:03
Speaker 1: have then felt like so isolated. Yeah, like why are
13:05
Speaker 1: they leaving me out? Why do they want to hang
13:07
Speaker 1: with me? Why do they want to party with me?
13:08
Speaker 1: Just because they do it different to you? So it
13:10
Speaker 1: does It really prevents you from having a beautiful connection
13:13
Speaker 1: and yeah, you're not showing up authentically, and then you
13:16
Speaker 1: feel shamedful what you're doing, you know, just like owning
13:18
Speaker 1: who you are and what you want to do for
13:20
Speaker 1: your life in that moment.
13:21
Speaker 3: It's so true.
13:22
Speaker 2: Nah, this is such a cool conversation actually, like exploring
13:25
Speaker 2: both sides of what happens when you pedestal somebody, how
13:29
Speaker 2: it feels, how it might feel for that person.
13:31
Speaker 1: This is cool.
13:32
Speaker 2: It's almost like it gives even for me just listening
13:34
Speaker 2: and having this conversation with you, it's like a deeper
13:36
Speaker 2: understanding of what kind of goes on when this does happen.
13:39
Speaker 2: It's cool to bring awareness to it, to be mindful
13:42
Speaker 2: of where we are showing up like this still.
13:43
Speaker 1: Is it anyone on a pedestal now? In like right now? Actively?
13:47
Speaker 3: I mean for me for sure, I.
13:49
Speaker 2: Put you on a pedestal, but not in an unproductive way.
13:52
Speaker 2: Me too with you, Like I feel like it's more
13:55
Speaker 2: admiration inspiration. I just have so much love for you,
13:58
Speaker 2: and I really admire the way that you live your life,
14:01
Speaker 2: Like in terms of being a parent, Like when I
14:03
Speaker 2: watch you parent the kids, member even say like, oh
14:05
Speaker 2: that would be so nice.
14:06
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love.
14:07
Speaker 2: The way that you do. It's such a gentle parent.
14:09
Speaker 2: You're an awesome business woman, You're an incredible friend, Like
14:12
Speaker 2: there are just aspects of you that I just love
14:14
Speaker 2: and adoor, but I wouldn't say that it's unproductive. Yeah,
14:17
Speaker 2: I think I've been able to really humanize people now
14:20
Speaker 2: because I didn't before. You know, I've really experienced what
14:23
Speaker 2: it's like to pedestal other people and push myself down,
14:25
Speaker 2: and I just don't do that anymore for the most part.
14:28
Speaker 1: So you've also seen me at some pretty low moments.
14:31
Speaker 2: There's lots of humanist in our relationship, so true, you know,
14:33
Speaker 2: for us both, and it feels really safe, like yeah, yeah, I.
14:37
Speaker 1: Put you on a pedestal, and I think you're more qualified, capable,
14:41
Speaker 1: and smarter than me. And I openly say that all
14:43
Speaker 1: the time. Yeah, You're like, well, notice it when it
14:45
Speaker 1: pops up. I'm like, ah, I can't do that.
14:47
Speaker 3: You're like, yes you can.
14:48
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know you're doing it with me, And you
14:49
Speaker 2: know what, that blows my mind because I think the
14:53
Speaker 2: same in my own way. Like for me, I'm like,
14:56
Speaker 2: you're an incredible business woman, much more than what I am,
15:00
Speaker 2: because you've had so much experience in what you've done.
15:01
Speaker 2: I'm like, you absolutely know more than what I do.
15:04
Speaker 2: And I'm just like that just is what it is.
15:06
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm catching up.
15:07
Speaker 1: You know. But I'm like, you're so good at spreadsheets.
15:09
Speaker 1: I can't even look at that spreadsheet having a peck attack.
15:12
Speaker 1: She like showed me the other day all the spreadsheets
15:14
Speaker 1: for as she rises, and like she's like this green
15:16
Speaker 1: color means this, and this yellow and I'm like, yep, yep, yeah,
15:19
Speaker 1: lay over.
15:19
Speaker 3: My head, pad over. Yeah sounds good, looks like glazing over,
15:23
Speaker 3: Like shut up, like great, I'm just gonna go make
15:26
Speaker 3: us lunch. Finish off. Yes.
15:28
Speaker 2: When that was happening, I was like, oh, so nice
15:30
Speaker 2: that she's doing that. I'm so happy doing this.
15:31
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I'm like I can take care of her
15:33
Speaker 3: this way.
15:34
Speaker 2: You know, what you do really beautifully that I struggle
15:35
Speaker 2: with is storytelling. You're really really fucking good at storytelling,
15:41
Speaker 2: and I just get like lost in your stories and
15:43
Speaker 2: I'm like, fuck, I would love to be able to
15:44
Speaker 2: do that.
15:44
Speaker 1: I love that. So is this how I teach? Yeah?
15:46
Speaker 1: I don't think I'm super smart, Like I don't think
15:48
Speaker 1: i'm super book smart, but I teach through storytelling. I
15:51
Speaker 1: teach through my own lessons.
15:53
Speaker 3: You absolutely do. You're really good at it.
15:54
Speaker 1: I think because I've always learned like that. When I
15:56
Speaker 1: did my first Tony Robins. Course, I learnt the most
15:59
Speaker 1: when he was storytelling through his experiences, or when someone
16:03
Speaker 1: would stand up and they would tell their story and
16:05
Speaker 1: then he would break down why they are who they are,
16:08
Speaker 1: why they're doing what they're doing. Yeah, where to go
16:10
Speaker 1: from here? Like, I'm very engaged in that. I would
16:13
Speaker 1: much prefer to learn from someone's storytelling. So it comes
16:15
Speaker 1: quite natural from me, I think.
16:16
Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, it's cool to see as well because different
16:19
Speaker 2: people like learn differently as well. Like I think for me,
16:22
Speaker 2: maybe that's why I do business the way that I do. Yeah,
16:24
Speaker 2: Like I coach the way that I do. I'm very
16:26
Speaker 2: like educational. Yeah, I feel like I lean towards that way.
16:29
Speaker 2: I don't mean too, but it just comes natural for me.
16:32
Speaker 1: And I think I'm the opposite too, because I think
16:33
Speaker 1: I've got that old story that I'm dumb, Like I'm
16:35
Speaker 1: not that educated. I failed school, didn't go to Uni.
16:38
Speaker 1: I've only done like some basic courses. Yeah, I don't
16:41
Speaker 1: lean on education, and.
16:42
Speaker 2: See I hide behind education because I think that my
16:45
Speaker 2: personal stories aren't valuable enough. Yeah, So I'm like with education,
16:49
Speaker 2: I'm like, well there are facts, they're a study. Yeah,
16:52
Speaker 2: and I'm not super science based, but I'm very like
16:55
Speaker 2: education based. It just feels more natural and I feel
16:57
Speaker 2: like I hide behind that sometimes.
16:59
Speaker 1: Yeah, so interesting, Hey, but they're both great, they're both amazing. Yeah,
17:02
Speaker 1: that's why we work so well together too, because it's
17:04
Speaker 1: different bespect learning is different ways to teach and how
17:07
Speaker 1: you teach other people would really love, but then other
17:09
Speaker 1: people might not get it and vice versa, and I
17:11
Speaker 1: sorry tell them. Might be some people that are like,
17:13
Speaker 1: shut the fuck up, where's the facts? And you know
17:15
Speaker 1: when we shut the fuck up.
17:18
Speaker 2: When we bring those together, I feel like if bridges
17:21
Speaker 2: a really cool gap, it does you know, it flows
17:23
Speaker 2: so nicely to your own We're just amazing too.
17:27
Speaker 1: So yeah, point of this episode was like, who are
17:30
Speaker 1: you putting on a pedestal? Is it productive? How does
17:34
Speaker 1: it serve you? How do you think it feels on
17:36
Speaker 1: the other foot, where's the pressure? And just humanize everyone.
17:41
Speaker 1: Yeah we're all doing this thing together. Yeah, we're all learning.
17:45
Speaker 1: Let's take a breath. Just accept everyone where they're at.
17:47
Speaker 1: No in trust that everyone's doing the best they can with.
17:49
Speaker 1: Yeah they have.
17:50
Speaker 2: And if you are the person who is being put
17:51
Speaker 2: on a pedestal, this is where you actually get to
17:54
Speaker 2: do some self reflection and ask yourself, where are you
17:56
Speaker 2: presenting yourself as the perfect version that like I was
17:59
Speaker 2: doing Yeah, I was doing it too, So where are
18:01
Speaker 2: you actually buying into that mold and not showing people
18:05
Speaker 2: your heart, not showing people the vulnerable moments, the things
18:08
Speaker 2: that you're going through day to day. And it's not
18:10
Speaker 2: about bonding over, it's not trauma bonding right, It's just
18:14
Speaker 2: about letting people in and that vulnerability bridges the gap
18:17
Speaker 2: and allows people to really see you for who you
18:19
Speaker 2: are and not this image that they've kind of got
18:22
Speaker 2: you stuck in. I love that amazing.
18:26
Speaker 1: We'll see you on Friday.
18:28
Speaker 2: Bye.