Latest / The Kink Consultant / Ep 23 - From Pec Popping to Daddy Dom: A Conversation on Creating Content and Kink Relationships with Dilly form The Life of Dillyyy

Transcript

Ep 23 - From Pec Popping to Daddy Dom: A Conversation on Creating Content and Kink Relationships with Dilly form The Life of Dillyyy · The Kink Consultant

• 0:08
  It's the King Consultant podcast where we're turning up the heat
• 0:11
  on all things kink and dating, relationships and pop culture.
• 0:14
  So close the door, plug in your headphones, and let's get down
• 0:17
  to it. Hey everybody, I'm here with
• 0:24
  Dilly from Life of Dilly. You can find him on Instagram as
• 0:28
  Life of Dilly. Welcome.
• 0:30
  Thank you. Thank you.
• 0:31
  So you are Life of Dilly on Instagram and I sort of just
• 0:35
  recently started following you in the last month and I think
• 0:38
  that coincides with when you started to do a little bit more
• 0:41
  kinky content. I guess a little bit about my
• 0:44
  story and 2020, Gary Vaynerchuk talked about like, you have to
• 0:48
  be consistent on your content, like post, post, post.
• 0:51
  Everyone's eyes are on TikTok right now.
• 0:53
  And before, I mean, I had an Instagram, like I'm still on
• 0:56
  social media for years. And I was like, OK, like I'm
• 0:58
  gonna create a tick Tock account for fun.
• 1:01
  Like no judgment, no nothing. I was just like, where do I
• 1:03
  post? Like, what am I Like, I know I
• 1:05
  workout, drink wine, like what else do I do?
• 1:08
  And I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna post like, what
• 1:10
  have I been doing for a long time?
• 1:11
  And I've been actually came to conclusion like ever since I was
• 1:14
  like 13, I've known how to like bounce my pecs up and down
• 1:17
  South. I just started posting that on
• 1:19
  TikTok and it's just the traction just blew up.
• 1:21
  People started following me from that and people like wanted to
• 1:24
  like see more of it from 2020 on.
• 1:26
  Like I was just consistently posting pretty like funny but
• 1:29
  relatable I guess you would say. PG13 plus style content on tick.
• 1:34
  Yeah. Peck popping.
• 1:36
  Dilly, did you have competitors in the space?
• 1:38
  Were there like other pet poppers out there?
• 1:40
  I mean, yes, there were, but like I think established myself
• 1:44
  as like one of like the main people.
• 1:47
  I want to see some Peck pop. All right, all right.
• 1:49
  So I'll just keep it simple. It's just like, you know, a
• 1:51
  little bit of that, a little bit together.
• 1:53
  Yeah. It's just, it's just a little
• 1:55
  bit of like. What are you doing with your
• 1:57
  body? You.
• 1:58
  Can do that. It's people think it's like
• 1:59
  moving the shoulders, but it's not in the shoulder, you think?
• 2:01
  That. Too, you have to like focus deep
• 2:03
  like in like in your actual chest, right, Trying to like
• 2:07
  really use whatever muscles that you can in here to flex and then
• 2:11
  I go back and forth you can go you can go the same time you can
• 2:14
  like I can like I can like roll them too yeah.
• 2:16
  Oh wow. The rolling, the rolling is that
• 2:18
  you can do just you can do that one pop, you can do the the the
• 2:22
  alternating pop, the same pop, or you can do like the the
• 2:25
  rolling as well, which is like starting you like you flex, but
• 2:28
  you start from the bottom and it just kind of rolls up so.
• 2:31
  There's something sensual about. I think that's also where the
• 2:34
  viewers and the followers came from because it is something
• 2:37
  sensual, which I think is one of the reasons why I got banned off
• 2:41
  Tick Tock after a couple years. Yeah, I got banned three times
• 2:44
  on TikTok. So are.
• 2:46
  You back or are you like? Done with TikTok.
• 2:48
  I'm strictly on Instagram now. It's just like with Instagram
• 2:51
  and tick tock when you're like putting stuff in there, like
• 2:53
  when you're putting in like specific words, like if you're
• 2:55
  going to put, I don't know, I'm say this like horny or if you're
• 2:58
  going to put sex, you have to put seg.
• 3:00
  You have to like type in a different way, right?
• 3:02
  So it has to be like money sign. Yeah, money sign with like the
• 3:06
  letter three with like 3G's and a money sign.
• 3:09
  You can't just type SE X. The algorithm has to know that
• 3:13
  you're not out there talking about super crazy explicit
• 3:17
  stuff. So you have to like kind of use
• 3:18
  your brain a little bit and switch things up.
• 3:20
  And then once you get that going, they flag that word and
• 3:23
  you need a new word. Yeah, yeah.
• 3:25
  That it's just when you're making this type of content
• 3:28
  which is PG13 you. Can go to a movie today and
• 3:31
  they're gonna say the same stuff that you're saying.
• 3:33
  Oh yeah. Right.
• 3:34
  The thing I think they're looking that is they're looking
• 3:36
  for like, is there actual sexual content being shown?
• 3:41
  People put stuff in movies all the time.
• 3:42
  People like write stuff. There's stuff in books, but
• 3:45
  there's like actual sexual content being shown.
• 3:47
  Then they're like, oh, we got him.
• 3:48
  But to go back to what I was saying earlier regarding like
• 3:51
  the transition of kind of where I'm at today.
• 3:53
  I for a couple months I was doing the the tick tock stuff,
• 3:56
  PEC popping, just being super silly, which I still am creating
• 3:59
  a lot of silly content. But then it eventually led me to
• 4:02
  me creating and only fans, which has been pretty fun.
• 4:05
  Still doing it today, five years later.
• 4:08
  Rocking and rolling Which? By the way, after seeing a
• 4:11
  display of what this PEC thing is in the rolling, I have no
• 4:14
  doubt fans were probably asking for it.
• 4:17
  Like do you have an OF? Do you have an only fans?
• 4:20
  Well. It mostly started from that,
• 4:21
  like the first request I ever got that someone actually wanted
• 4:24
  to pay me for. It was like, hey, can you Peck
• 4:28
  pop for one minute to this song and I want to pay you like this
• 4:32
  right here. And I was like, OK, so it was
• 4:34
  like flow rider, like apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur
• 4:38
  was. This the actual.
• 4:39
  Song I think Baby got back was the first one.
• 4:42
  I could see that that was the first one.
• 4:43
  And then just like doing songs like Bad Bunny and all these
• 4:47
  other. But it was fun, I enjoyed it and
• 4:49
  I started get more requests of more things to do, like take
• 4:53
  your shirt off, do this. So yeah, it kind of just like
• 4:55
  started growing from there. And yeah, so now I do do only
• 4:59
  fans and I have been doing it basically like part time slash
• 5:02
  full time blasts on and off for like 5 years and it's been
• 5:04
  great. Only fans definitely get
• 5:06
  stigmatized for sure, both on the men and women's side.
• 5:09
  If you're out there and you're providing for yourself, why not,
• 5:11
  right? I think a lot of people think
• 5:13
  that you have to go work some corporate job and do this thing.
• 5:17
  But like if you're, you know, a guy or a girl who's able to do
• 5:20
  that and there is money to be made and, and you know how to
• 5:22
  promote yourself because there's definitely a certain way.
• 5:24
  I think a lot of people get only fans.
• 5:26
  They think that like do everything and like they're just
• 5:28
  going to get fans, right? Well, The thing is, is what I've
• 5:30
  seen that works really well with being only fans creators.
• 5:34
  You have to have the attention of the content you post on, on
• 5:37
  Twitter X tick tock and Instagram and red.
• 5:40
  It's a big one as well. It's the same thing as like
• 5:43
  owning a business and having and putting out content that's
• 5:45
  relative to that business. Like for example, if you own a
• 5:48
  pressure washing company, like you should be posting content
• 5:51
  out there of like you and some friends like, hey, man, like you
• 5:54
  know, you're gonna come out say it's like, no, I got to work.
• 5:56
  Let me show you the work I can do.
• 5:57
  And then like you make a video where you're like pressure
• 5:59
  watching this and you're pressure washing the house and
• 6:01
  you show like before and after. That's where social media has
• 6:03
  created this opportunity for business people to like really
• 6:07
  grow their companies by where the attention is.
• 6:10
  And the attention is literally on people scrolling every single
• 6:14
  day watching YouTube videos, Instagram videos, tick tock
• 6:17
  videos. How are you getting people to go
• 6:19
  to your only fans then? How it kind of creatives just
• 6:21
  the contact create, right, Because it's like, yeah, for
• 6:24
  example, if I go like my explore page and I see a super hot girl
• 6:28
  and she's just walking like in like a tight dress down the
• 6:30
  street and she makes a video of just her being seductive.
• 6:33
  There's a 80% chance that she hasn't only fans, right?
• 6:36
  Or if I see a video of like a dude shirtless cutting wood,
• 6:40
  kind of like doing like being seductive, whatever, like in the
• 6:43
  woods, like cut just like chopping wood.
• 6:45
  I'm like he for sure hasn't only fans.
• 6:47
  There's definitely tell tales of like who hasn't only fans and
• 6:50
  who doesn't? And some of the contacts like
• 6:52
  I've created and created before is content.
• 6:55
  That's like it spikes people's interest.
• 6:57
  So like, like my goal is like this guy is attractive.
• 6:59
  Like I wonder if he shows more. And then that's kind of where I
• 7:02
  have just like my link tree, which is like in my bio
• 7:06
  Instagram, but they click on that.
• 7:08
  And then of course, you know, I have Twitter and then my my only
• 7:11
  fans link in there as well. I don't promote it as much.
• 7:14
  I mean, there's some people who literally post on their story
• 7:16
  every single day. So I've kind of like
• 7:18
  transitioned for years. I was just posting like stuff
• 7:21
  that would really push the only fans.
• 7:23
  Like I would post content that would be like so seductive in
• 7:27
  the way that I would push that. But now over the last, which we
• 7:30
  will kind of think kind of roll into, I've been posting more
• 7:33
  like relatable, like funny, relatable, sensual content,
• 7:38
  right? One of the videos that blew up
• 7:40
  last year that I posted, I think it got like 12 million views.
• 7:44
  Or something. That's insane.
• 7:47
  Yeah. What did you do when say in
• 7:48
  this? Video, the video, all it was was
• 7:50
  me. It was like me walking through
• 7:52
  the like walking through the woods at Sequoia National Park.
• 7:54
  I put like in a script in the video.
• 7:57
  I said, send this to somebody that you have quote, UN quote
• 8:00
  masturbated to like what are you waiting for?
• 8:03
  Don't do it. And then I just like, you know,
• 8:05
  because I've seen videos before of like Reels, it's like, send
• 8:08
  this to somebody that you think is cute.
• 8:10
  I'm just gonna put a little extra twist on it.
• 8:12
  And what do you know, Like within like 30 days, it had like
• 8:15
  2 million views, hundreds and hundreds even that maybe over
• 8:18
  1000 comments. Because the things with
• 8:20
  Instagram Reels, you're always receiving and always sending
• 8:23
  reels that are like funny to people.
• 8:24
  Yeah, right. So I wanted to create something
• 8:26
  that I think is funny. I've always been like a pretty
• 8:28
  sexual person, but I wanted to create something that that was
• 8:31
  funny that like people can send to.
• 8:32
  And what do you know? I had like four or five very
• 8:35
  famous porn stars comment on it. I got yeah, yeah, I got a lot of
• 8:40
  traction from that video and I was like, OK, like I wonder if I
• 8:42
  can keep doing that. So then I would create content
• 8:44
  that was like that. Like I would create, which I've
• 8:45
  been still doing today. Send this video or send this
• 8:48
  reel to blank if you want to blank or send this to somebody
• 8:52
  that you want to blank with like right now, right.
• 8:55
  So like one I posted about a week ago was another video, same
• 9:00
  thing. I'm in the woods and I said send
• 9:01
  this to somebody that you would Deep Throat in the woods right
• 9:04
  now. And I think it has like 300,000
• 9:07
  shares. And I'm pretty sure even the one
• 9:09
  like the send this to somebody you masturbated to, one I'm
• 9:11
  pretty sure is that video. A lot of it, it's honestly like
• 9:14
  straight guys sending it to like other straight guys as like a
• 9:18
  joke, right? So I had two or three of my
• 9:20
  friends reach out and they're like, dude, one of my good
• 9:22
  friends sent me your video not knowing it was you.
• 9:25
  No way. Yeah, so it's like friend, like
• 9:29
  my best friend, my really good friends having their friends
• 9:33
  that I don't know, send it to them of the content that I made,
• 9:36
  which is pretty fun. The thing about Instagram is
• 9:38
  it's never really supposed to. And social media as a whole,
• 9:41
  it's never supposed to be taken too serious.
• 9:42
  And I've always been someone where I've been pretty silly
• 9:45
  most of my life. You.
• 9:46
  Want to keep it like easygoing, not like too much intensity or
• 9:50
  seriousness around it. Sometimes that gets you in
• 9:53
  trouble though. I've seen some videos with some
• 9:55
  aggressive comments. Then one of the most recent ones
• 9:58
  I created has definitely sparked a little like side by side
• 10:02
  comments and that that video was.
• 10:04
  What you say what? Did you say?
• 10:06
  I will say, I will say all right.
• 10:09
  Hey kingsters, quick question, have you ever fantasized about
• 10:13
  taking your Dom sub relationship to the next level?
• 10:17
  Or maybe you haven't even started yet and you want to know
• 10:20
  about everything kink. Well guess what, I have the
• 10:25
  event for you, Dom Sub Dynamics Virtual Summit.
• 10:30
  Go grab your free ticket and save the dates March 31st
• 10:34
  through April 3rd. The amazing thing is, it doesn't
• 10:37
  matter. No matter what your kink is, if
• 10:39
  you want to try something new, the experts are going to be
• 10:42
  covering everything from bondage to hypnosis to power exchange
• 10:47
  psychology. Go grab your free ticket now.
• 10:51
  Go to domsubdynamics.com/TKC and check out the show notes.
• 10:57
  You won't be sorry. I basically said there's only
• 11:01
  two things you need to do to keep a man happy.
• 11:03
  I made the video twice, but the first video I made was you have
• 11:07
  to make sure that he's fed and you have to make sure that his
• 11:09
  balls are drained and that was it.
• 11:11
  It's just like there's people fighting in my comments going
• 11:14
  like, oh, I drained his balls for 20 years and he's still
• 11:17
  cheating on me. You know what I mean?
• 11:18
  So because. It feels personal because it's
• 11:20
  like, oh, it's what's really funny is it's not that you said
• 11:24
  it. It's like, this is false advice.
• 11:26
  This is. Like, well, yeah, it's just
• 11:28
  like, it's meant to be. Like, I'm not being like, hey,
• 11:31
  just so you know, if you're not keeping him fed and draining his
• 11:34
  balls, he will leave you. That's not what I'm saying.
• 11:36
  Really good point. Yeah, I actually took the quote
• 11:38
  from one of my good friends. The way he said it is he says
• 11:41
  the two things that all men really want in a relationship is
• 11:44
  they want a partner who is committed.
• 11:47
  They want a partners that they can come home to after a long
• 11:50
  day of work or whatever. And it's just like full
• 11:52
  connection, like not nagging their partner all the time, not
• 11:55
  doing this. Like they want a partner that is
• 11:56
  their piece. And then the second part of that
• 11:58
  is they want a partner that will drain their.
• 12:00
  I think there's an energy out in the world where I think a lot of
• 12:04
  people, and this kind of relates to kink and all that too, where,
• 12:07
  I mean, I've talked to people, they're like, Oh yeah, me and my
• 12:09
  partner, like we have sex like once every four months.
• 12:12
  I have clients who come to see me and that is the exact line I
• 12:16
  get. So yes, yeah.
• 12:17
  Yeah. So it's like, I think there's
• 12:18
  definitely it's. Common.
• 12:20
  Unfortunately common. There's a lot of people who
• 12:23
  don't really know what is the norm.
• 12:25
  Like should they be having sex every single day?
• 12:27
  Should it be a once? I mean, obviously everyone's
• 12:29
  schedules different, every individual person is different
• 12:32
  too, but that goes into the whole side of like
• 12:36
  communication, which I think the biggest thing, which I think a
• 12:39
  lot of people talk about, which I've like seen podcasts and all
• 12:41
  that regarding like why people don't have sex is because it's
• 12:44
  underlining like anger a lot of the times, right?
• 12:47
  It's like, let's just say husband and wife gets home from
• 12:50
  work after a long day and he just goes to sits on the couch.
• 12:52
  Well, the wife is like, Hey, I want you to like help me do this
• 12:54
  or help me do that, or I need help doing this.
• 12:56
  And the husband's like, I don't want to do that.
• 12:58
  I just had a long day at work. She's upset because she won't
• 13:00
  help him and he's like, well, she's nagging me basically he's
• 13:04
  like, oh, I won't have sex my wife, but she's upset because
• 13:06
  she won't help him. Agreed.
• 13:08
  Yes, yes. And a lot of it is that like
• 13:10
  underlining anger that honestly can be worked through just
• 13:14
  communicating better. Like how can every day as you
• 13:17
  have a main partner, especially in monogamous relationships, is
• 13:20
  how can you be so brutally honest and so commutative with
• 13:25
  your partner that you know exactly what your desires, what
• 13:28
  both your desires are, and how you can both fulfill those
• 13:31
  which. Goes back to your very original,
• 13:33
  like I guess the second video you made, it's about being each
• 13:37
  other's piece. If both people are each other's
• 13:39
  piece, foreplay starts way before the bedroom.
• 13:42
  And it's in these moments like this where if they were meeting
• 13:45
  each other and both felt seen, it could move into something a
• 13:48
  little sexier. There's a lot of people out
• 13:50
  there who I think especially people who maybe have been
• 13:53
  married for a long time or whatever, who have just been
• 13:55
  doing the traditional way, who also maybe sometimes they like
• 13:59
  don't want to have sex because it might be something we're
• 14:01
  like, we're just going to do missionary again.
• 14:03
  Here we go, right or. Just like it out.
• 14:06
  Yeah, it's just like, yeah, it's like, OK, it's going to be 5
• 14:10
  minutes of just missionary and we're just going.
• 14:12
  It's going to be another task, right?
• 14:14
  Sex should be something that should be rewarding.
• 14:17
  It should be fun. It should be you should laugh
• 14:20
  when you're doing it like you should.
• 14:21
  It's a transfer of energy, right?
• 14:23
  You are literally like the life force of a man and the energy
• 14:28
  and the bond of a woman are coming together.
• 14:30
  There's nothing closer than having sex.
• 14:32
  Nothing. One person is going inside of
• 14:34
  another person and is literally like the most closest form of
• 14:38
  connection that you can be. And I think that if you can
• 14:41
  communicate like what you want and communicate what you want to
• 14:45
  give as well, that would just make things way better, but also
• 14:49
  just more exciting too. To me I think it is more
• 14:51
  exciting because I am not vanilla at all.
• 14:54
  But what you're describing is people introducing a kink as a
• 14:57
  way to spice their sex life spiced it up in the bedroom,
• 15:00
  which is a totally valid way to explore kink.
• 15:03
  Is that how you came about? Kink?
• 15:05
  So good question. So I'm glad you asked that.
• 15:06
  So because you found me because of the content I've been posting
• 15:10
  on Instagram. So just to kind of go off of
• 15:12
  what you're saying, like how the last five months I've been
• 15:14
  posting like kind of like some here are three phrases to say as
• 15:18
  a pleasure dog. And then like I was like kind of
• 15:21
  seductive and saying in all of that, it was just for fun, but
• 15:24
  that the video like boom, hundreds of thousands of views.
• 15:26
  I'm like, wow, people are actually interested in this.
• 15:29
  So I started posting a little bit more and to be fully honest
• 15:32
  with you, I mean, there's definitely levels to like kink
• 15:35
  and I'm not like anywhere near the top, probably somewhere in
• 15:38
  the bottom middle, but it kind of.
• 15:40
  Majority of people who are practicing kink are.
• 15:44
  Yeah, I've always just been a basic, I guess you could say
• 15:46
  vanilla sexual experiences. Yes, there's maybe a little bit
• 15:49
  of slapping and a little bit of like picking my partner up or.
• 15:53
  Like a little bit rough, a little bit.
• 15:55
  Rough, Yeah, and. Handily like.
• 15:57
  Just trying to be like a dominant person, not like an
• 15:59
  actual like Dom, but be like a dominant person like in the
• 16:03
  bedroom. And then like middle late 2023 I
• 16:06
  started dating this amazing girl.
• 16:08
  She's incredible. Unfortunately we're not together
• 16:10
  anymore, but her story was she used to have this Dom in her
• 16:14
  life. Basically this Dom had like
• 16:16
  other multiple partners and stuff as her and I started
• 16:19
  getting closer and she knew that I I was like a more dominant
• 16:22
  figure. She was like, hey, like I think
• 16:23
  I want you to basically be my daddy Dom because that was like
• 16:27
  what her partner was. Then I was just like, OK, I
• 16:30
  don't really know what that entails or whatever, you know?
• 16:33
  We're open because a lot of people when they hear the word
• 16:36
  daddy, like I had someone on the podcast recently we talked about
• 16:39
  that daddy word. A lot of people get a little bit
• 16:42
  squirrelly around it like, Oh no, that's quote UN quote weird.
• 16:45
  Did you feel any of that? Were you like so?
• 16:47
  The answer to that question is no is because of all my fans and
• 16:52
  followers, which are predominantly gay men, like they
• 16:56
  all call me daddy. Like daddy has been something
• 16:59
  that's been like ingrained to me the last like four or five
• 17:02
  years. That has also been something
• 17:04
  that like I think some girls like they gravitate towards in
• 17:07
  the bedroom if like. 100%. If they have a guy who is like
• 17:11
  dominant with them, who is like someone who is maybe like you
• 17:15
  said, like you're saying manhandling them a little bit or
• 17:17
  just treating them with like degradation, but also with
• 17:20
  respect as well, right? They like that entry.
• 17:23
  Level. Sometimes it's not daddy,
• 17:25
  sometimes it's poppy, depending on the culture thing, yes, but I
• 17:28
  also think it's someone who is making you feel both safe but
• 17:33
  also on the edge. Yes, and that's what usually
• 17:35
  brings out the daddy. Like me calling somebody daddy.
• 17:38
  And do little people know that like if a guy was like with a
• 17:41
  girl, whatever, and just like, oh, you're being so good and
• 17:44
  they might think they're vanilla.
• 17:45
  Like, that is a form of kink, right?
• 17:47
  Like that is a form of kink in itself, right?
• 17:51
  And I. Kind of praise.
• 17:52
  A lot of people enjoy praise and that can be a praise.
• 17:55
  I think if that's yeah, turning you on a little bit more.
• 17:58
  And that's basically kind of what my ex partner basically
• 18:01
  enjoyed. So over the course of like
• 18:04
  basically her and I dating, we started to adapt and kind of
• 18:08
  learn more about that and figure out like what kind of entails
• 18:12
  being a daddy Dom. There's definitely extreme
• 18:15
  stuff. To be honest, I don't really
• 18:16
  know. I've kind of seen it out there,
• 18:17
  but not really know. I think I call coloring is a big
• 18:20
  for sure right? Like, you know.
• 18:23
  Extreme, probably, I think, yeah, because there's a collared
• 18:27
  sub, a collared sub with someone who puts on a collar, and that's
• 18:30
  sort of almost like a wedding band.
• 18:32
  Like, we're very connected. This is not coming off.
• 18:35
  Yeah. And there's like, yeah, that
• 18:36
  medium tier where it's like we're putting the collar on to
• 18:39
  play in the bed. Yeah, I think collared sub is
• 18:42
  like what's her and I have talked about before because she
• 18:44
  like knew people who were who were right.
• 18:47
  Like that is definitely like if I see someone wearing that in
• 18:49
  public, whatever, Like if you see wearing that public, you're
• 18:51
  like, oh, someone just wearing a necklace.
• 18:53
  But like little do you know, if there weren't a necklace with
• 18:55
  like a little something here, like that's cake.
• 18:58
  Like they they have a Dom who like owns them is the right
• 19:02
  word. Yeah, a lot of yeah, it's kink
• 19:05
  is so specific. Like also for some people, by
• 19:08
  the way, in kink, Daddy is an honorific that has to be earned
• 19:11
  and people aren't cool with it being said, you know, there are
• 19:14
  levels to everything. So on the collar conversation,
• 19:17
  though, I only really take it seriously.
• 19:19
  Well, and it might not be fair, but when you see the full metal
• 19:22
  ones, I don't know if you've seen that full metal circles,
• 19:24
  I'm like, oh, they're really collared because that's not as
• 19:27
  much a fashion statement as maybe the other ones.
• 19:31
  You're totally right though. The other one I'm just like, for
• 19:34
  me, I only perk up and I'm like, oh, that persons owned.
• 19:36
  If it's a better one, that's my own like take on it.
• 19:39
  All right, you said pleasure, Dom, Daddy Dom, do you identify
• 19:43
  as both? All right, Kingster, let's talk
• 19:47
  about pleasure. Not just mine, Yours too.
• 19:50
  If you're enjoying this episode of The King Consultant, I need
• 19:53
  you to do me a little favor and I promise it'll feel oh so good.
• 19:58
  Take a second and give this podcast a five star rating.
• 20:01
  Just imagine your finger sliding all over that 5th star, pressing
• 20:06
  down, giving it exactly the kind of attention it deserves.
• 20:09
  Yeah, that's it. And you know what happens when
• 20:12
  you do. I get all hot and bothered
• 20:14
  knowing you're out there showing your appreciation.
• 20:18
  Plus, every time you leave a review, a naughty little brat
• 20:20
  somewhere gets that spanking they've been begging for.
• 20:24
  So be a good listener and tap that star, won't you?
• 20:27
  Thanks, love. Now let's get back to the fun.
• 20:33
  I guess I'll just go out and say I enjoy both.
• 20:37
  I would say that my old partner is I was daddy.
• 20:40
  She never called me about my first name ever.
• 20:42
  It was always daddy. And that was something that
• 20:45
  because we were in a relationship and we had that
• 20:48
  strong connection like that was me.
• 20:49
  I was daddy, no other name, not babe, not anything else.
• 20:53
  It was just straight daddy. And I loved that it made our
• 20:56
  connection and it made our relationship stronger in my
• 20:59
  sense because it almost gave into like that knowledge, I
• 21:01
  guess of like she's mine and. The protector role you held,
• 21:05
  Yeah, over her. And she's, like, returned it
• 21:08
  with the sign of respect of that honorific.
• 21:10
  Yeah. Exactly.
• 21:11
  And the love was just like, I knew that this individual loved
• 21:15
  me. Because for your partner to like
• 21:17
  only call your other partner like daddy and that's it.
• 21:21
  That's pretty heavy. Like you have to, yeah, you
• 21:24
  have, you have to make sure to add in that extra D&X and the
• 21:27
  extra Y because Dad can sometimes get mixed in there,
• 21:32
  especially if you have like, let's just say for example, you
• 21:33
  have in your phone, you have like dad in your phone and then
• 21:37
  you have like your partner as daddy, Daddy.
• 21:39
  But that was never the case. So my name and her phone was
• 21:42
  just my name. So OK, fortunately,
• 21:44
  unfortunately, there was number time when we were ever at dinner
• 21:47
  and her dad, we're at dinner together.
• 21:48
  And unfortunately there was number time.
• 21:50
  She was like, hey daddy, can you pass the salt?
• 21:52
  And we both went to grab it. There was number time where that
• 21:54
  happened. But did she ever call you daddy
• 21:56
  in an inopportune moment, like around her family or her
• 22:00
  friends? Around her friends and family?
• 22:02
  I don't think so. Maybe around some of her
• 22:04
  friends, but around her family now.
• 22:05
  When I was dating my ex in front of my family sometimes I would
• 22:08
  accidentally say daddy but around my sister's not like.
• 22:12
  My father, yeah, which I think she would, but like around her
• 22:16
  closer family, it was just like Babe, because babe is pretty
• 22:19
  neutral where you can say that around anybody, basically, yeah.
• 22:22
  Or just your regular. Name.
• 22:24
  I have a question, might be a little bit sensitive.
• 22:27
  Do you think it was harder to get over this breakup because
• 22:30
  you had the kink element in it? I mean, even to this day we've
• 22:34
  been split now for a couple of months.
• 22:36
  Like is there still some love there?
• 22:39
  Yeah, of course. Like you can't just get over
• 22:40
  somebody in a weeks time or one months time, right?
• 22:44
  There definitely is some energy there personally from my side,
• 22:48
  but I think the biggest thing to kind of move forward with that,
• 22:51
  which she actually has, he told me about, I think her and her
• 22:54
  previous partner broke up or even the first time we were
• 22:57
  going to break up like over a year ago.
• 22:59
  The biggest thing with like breakups is you have to
• 23:01
  establish like a no contact rule because that just breeds this
• 23:05
  trying to happen, right? Instead of like going this way,
• 23:08
  it just breeds. Like, you're like stealing each
• 23:10
  other's orbit and being in each other's orbit is going to make
• 23:13
  it more painful and more difficult to actually break up,
• 23:16
  which for at least one of you is always the goal.
• 23:18
  It's like, we need to split. This needs to be done.
• 23:21
  Yeah. And that's where like even with
• 23:23
  this relationship, I would say in the last 10 years of my life,
• 23:27
  I've had four main partners and one of them was around like 21.
• 23:32
  I told this girl, she told me she loved me.
• 23:34
  I told her I loved her back. And I like actually meant it.
• 23:37
  I was like, wow. Because there's a feeling when
• 23:38
  like when you say you love you someone or whatever someone says
• 23:41
  they love you, it's just your body.
• 23:42
  You get those butterflies, you get something because there is
• 23:45
  something there when they mean it, right there is that
• 23:46
  connection. And with her, it's when she told
• 23:48
  me that she loved me. And when we would say it
• 23:49
  together, our time together was always just, I don't want to say
• 23:53
  it was like fire because it wasn't like explosive, but it
• 23:55
  was just very, it was peace right?
• 23:58
  When I was with her, it was like someone at peace, especially
• 24:01
  because we knew how to separate between a lot of the kinks stuff
• 24:06
  and also just being in the relationship stuff.
• 24:08
  Yeah, because we did practice a good amount of degradation style
• 24:11
  play. We did a lot of role play stuff.
• 24:13
  She was down for whatever. That's what I think created why
• 24:16
  I think we were so good was role.
• 24:18
  Play new to you though, like had you done role play before?
• 24:21
  No, no, we only did it like probably two or three times.
• 24:24
  There's a time she like got dressed up as little outfit and
• 24:27
  we just kind of role played with like patient nurse, I guess.
• 24:30
  Yeah, that was pretty fun. And The thing is you have to
• 24:33
  going into connection with your partners.
• 24:36
  You have to try new things, right?
• 24:38
  And that's where I think people get tired and people who have
• 24:41
  sexual disconnection in their relationships is because here's
• 24:44
  the thing, like if you eat cheese pizza every day for
• 24:48
  10:20, 30-40 years, cheese pizza might get a little old.
• 24:52
  Probably faster than 20 years, yeah.
• 24:54
  But if you start adding like pineapple on it, olives, all
• 24:57
  these other different toppings and you start making it
• 24:59
  different ways, I could be totally just bonkers.
• 25:02
  But like with relating that to relationships, it's like you can
• 25:06
  still be with that same person and have that connection.
• 25:10
  But when you try new things like trying king stuff, like role
• 25:14
  play stuff, trying like maybe having like shower sex, maybe
• 25:19
  having hot tub sex, maybe like doing oral somewhere fun, right?
• 25:24
  You're still eating that pizza, you're still eating that and
• 25:26
  you're still with that same person, the same analogy, but
• 25:28
  you're like, you're doing all these things and you're trying
• 25:31
  all these different toppings and you're making different way and
• 25:33
  it's just you have to find ways that are breaking that.
• 25:36
  Just like all right, today we're going to go to the bedroom and
• 25:40
  we're going to do missionary, you know so I.
• 25:43
  Love the pizza analysis so. Right.
• 25:45
  There's so many different things to sprinkle on.
• 25:47
  Yeah, change it up while still eating pizza like.
• 25:50
  I kind of said for the beginning with the king stuff, I am not
• 25:53
  somebody that is in that upper echelon.
• 25:56
  Like I don't really practice BDSM and only practice that
• 25:59
  stuff. So here I guess this is what I
• 26:00
  enjoy. I'll just kind of go straight
• 26:02
  into it as like a daddy Dom pleasure Dom.
• 26:05
  I love teasing and edging. I also love to be teased in
• 26:08
  Edge. So there is maybe a slight
• 26:11
  switch in there because I like to give, I also like to receive.
• 26:15
  Be on the receiving end of some of that play.
• 26:17
  Correct. Yeah.
• 26:18
  I would say more on the Gibbs side.
• 26:20
  It's probably like 8020. But sometimes it's nice to like
• 26:23
  for example, let's just say I'm with a partner, I'm like rubbing
• 26:27
  them, just a little foreplay. Then I also talk, I'm like, hey,
• 26:30
  like is it OK if I like slap your ass?
• 26:33
  Is it OK if I maybe give you some love tabs in the face or
• 26:36
  can I slap your face? If so, like how hard can I do it
• 26:39
  right like that communication and then also finding ways like
• 26:43
  do you want me to do you want me to be soft with you or do you
• 26:46
  want me to be rough with? You so you're like
• 26:48
  communicating, standing in communication the whole time.
• 26:51
  I just have to tell you, I love that you're saying that because
• 26:54
  just because you're not into the hardcore BDSM stuff doesn't mean
• 26:57
  you're skipping that what we call the negotiation stage of
• 27:00
  like, is it OK if I do this? I will say this though, there is
• 27:03
  something great about this surprise, right?
• 27:05
  And just let it all out there. And then after that connection,
• 27:08
  you can then have that like I like to call post nut clarity,
• 27:12
  you know, communication. You talk with them and go, hey,
• 27:15
  what did you like or love that I did?
• 27:16
  And what did you not like? Because then if you're gonna
• 27:18
  connect again, then that second time you could go like all in on
• 27:22
  that stuff and then even ask them more.
• 27:24
  What else do you like? That's just the fact about
• 27:26
  during sex, right? Yeah, I am the first person
• 27:29
  who's gonna say consent play really ethically like that.
• 27:32
  But sometimes is pinning someone's hands above their head
• 27:35
  something you need consent for? You know, it's sort of like
• 27:39
  sometimes it's like as long as you know you're going to be
• 27:41
  responsible enough to read body language and understand if
• 27:44
  that's not OK or communicate in the moment, is this OK?
• 27:47
  Exactly, Reading body language is like the biggest thing.
• 27:49
  Read the room, read the environment, read the energy as
• 27:53
  well. Because then all you're doing
• 27:55
  with that initial connection, you're drafting up an essay.
• 27:58
  You're drafting up like what? How is this gonna look if we do
• 28:01
  it again? Let's just throw it all out
• 28:03
  there. Let's just see what kind, what
• 28:04
  we both enjoy. Yeah, let's just have fun.
• 28:06
  It's from that first position on.
• 28:08
  I think it's pretty hard that if you meet someone in public and
• 28:10
  like you bring them back, you're like, all right, we're going to
• 28:12
  sit down right now and this is what we're going to go over.
• 28:15
  And they're like, this person is probably just like, I just want
• 28:17
  to get into it. You know, depending on what type
• 28:18
  of person you are, either you just go into it and then you
• 28:22
  have that like after communication so that like the
• 28:24
  next time you can really make that experience better, more.
• 28:28
  To the next level together. That's it.
• 28:30
  OK, So what you're describing is a very real scenario, but I'm
• 28:33
  also realizing this is one of the things that I think confuses
• 28:36
  people the most. Kink doesn't always have to be
• 28:39
  about sex. So a lot of scene negotiation is
• 28:42
  all of that foreplay type of stuff that doesn't always even
• 28:44
  lead to sex. There are jokes that like BDSM
• 28:47
  people are basically celibate, and that's not true.
• 28:50
  But the point is you're describing situations that
• 28:54
  always include sex, which is totally fair.
• 28:56
  Is sex always part of your kink life?
• 28:58
  I. Haven't really fully experienced
• 29:00
  a lot of king stuff outside of the bedroom other than like the
• 29:03
  praise stuff. You know you don't have to.
• 29:06
  Every. Form of exploration is valid
• 29:09
  here with consent, Yeah. Do you want to?
• 29:12
  Is this something you want? Are you happy with it in the
• 29:15
  bedroom? I guess just time will tell,
• 29:17
  right? Yeah, I think it's just
• 29:19
  exploring more of it. Like I said, where I'm at is I
• 29:21
  love to be like a daddy Dom and like pleasure Dom, right?
• 29:25
  So like I get off on, you know, like more aggressive.
• 29:28
  Degradation side. Degradation Dom stuff which I
• 29:32
  could do but like here's the thing.
• 29:34
  Like I would rather have my partner feel good than be
• 29:39
  treated lesser than. I want to raise.
• 29:42
  I want to raise you up. I don't really want to put you
• 29:44
  down. There is some people who.
• 29:46
  Degradation makes me feel raised up.
• 29:48
  You saying you're my little slut?
• 29:51
  What if that turns me off? I think you have to understand
• 29:55
  what is it that the partner wants, right?
• 29:57
  Like maybe then. You on too.
• 29:59
  Yeah, because sometimes the truth is maybe you calling your
• 30:03
  partner that like you're such a good little slut.
• 30:05
  Maybe that to you down deep you're like, I don't like call
• 30:07
  my partner slut, you know, like they're fucking so good.
• 30:11
  Like they're the best. Like you'd rather have like that
• 30:13
  side of it than the other. But I mean, The thing is though,
• 30:15
  is it's not one sided. Like what do you and what do
• 30:19
  your partner like to say and hear and do?
• 30:22
  Yeah. Because it's not sustainable to
• 30:25
  keep calling someone a slut that is actually hurting you, the
• 30:29
  person saying it, and isn't landing authentically.
• 30:32
  Say, I'm glad you said this stuff too, because a lot of
• 30:35
  times there's a big difference between like if you're with
• 30:38
  somebody in the bedroom, there's, there's a big
• 30:39
  difference between just going like, oh, you're such a slut.
• 30:42
  Yeah. And going, oh, you're like,
• 30:44
  you're my slut. If you're just like calling a
• 30:47
  partner, whatever your partner, if you're in the bedroom, you're
• 30:49
  like, God, you're such a slut. That's a form of just like
• 30:52
  negative degradation. Those are things that people say
• 30:54
  in the normal days, like I remember, you know, in high
• 30:56
  school, like there's one girl that hooked up with like 2 of my
• 30:59
  friends. Oh, she's such a slut.
• 31:01
  But instead in like a mean harsh way, it wasn't meant in any type
• 31:06
  of positive framework. Yes, whereas in the form of like
• 31:11
  if your partner's doing like some amazing nasty stuff, you're
• 31:14
  just like, that's my good little slut right there, right.
• 31:17
  So like you're saying as like it's like the Dom ownership
• 31:20
  part? Ownership.
• 31:21
  Yes, where like you're my like you're being so good for me,
• 31:25
  right. A lot of like that going back
• 31:27
  into like bringing it personal to prefer like between that
• 31:30
  situation and not just saying like, yeah, you're you're a
• 31:34
  whore. You know what I mean?
• 31:35
  And I think what's important is you've just gone through a whole
• 31:38
  self reflection about what would make it OK for you to call
• 31:41
  someone a slut or a whore versus what doesn't make it feel good
• 31:44
  for you. And then there are some people
• 31:46
  who enjoy. It's really funny you bring this
• 31:48
  up because recently I was having sex.
• 31:51
  I called myself a slut because I do like some degradation like
• 31:54
  that. And he said you're my slut.
• 31:57
  And it was like that ownership thing.
• 31:59
  You're like, Oh my gosh, here we go.
• 32:02
  Like and I'm going to just, I am.
• 32:05
  I'm wide open now. Both things did it for me, but I
• 32:09
  think the difference was what did it for him.
• 32:11
  And then that created a connection because he was like,
• 32:13
  let me create a connection here by turning it into something I'm
• 32:17
  going to enjoy too. And then that became the thing.
• 32:19
  And that's the biggest thing for me when it comes down to
• 32:22
  connection and sexual experience as a whole is the biggest thing
• 32:26
  is communication. Like some days, like if you're
• 32:28
  with your partner, let's just say they want to have sex with
• 32:30
  you, but they had a bad day and all they want to do is connect
• 32:33
  with you, right? All they want to do is just be
• 32:36
  loved and praised and treated and cuddled and held, right?
• 32:41
  What kind of sex do you want? Do you want to be love fucked or
• 32:45
  do you want to be like fucked? Yeah, something a little.
• 32:49
  More primal. Right.
• 32:50
  So I think with like the difference between like hardcore
• 32:54
  sex and like love sex, depending on which one you do, there has
• 32:57
  to be some sort of like introduction into that before
• 33:01
  you gravitate towards each one. And I think a lot of the times
• 33:05
  if your partner wants hardcore, but they want to feel connected
• 33:08
  first, then you have to gravitate towards the love side
• 33:10
  of it to then get into the hardcore stuff.
• 33:13
  And then maybe sometimes with the hardcore stuff, you might go
• 33:15
  into it and they're just like, they're just like, oh, like I'm
• 33:17
  having a tough time. I want to be treated a little
• 33:20
  more softer. Then you kind of switch over to
• 33:22
  the love stuff and you have a little more kind of compassion
• 33:25
  around you. Figure that out.
• 33:27
  Through yes, exactly, which is the biggest thing All in all is
• 33:31
  you have to in any way shape or form, whether it's through
• 33:34
  vanilla or kink related stuff, especially with the kink related
• 33:38
  stuff like you have to have that form of communication Yeah, in
• 33:42
  every way, shape and form it's. Gonna open it up more because
• 33:45
  then when you start, it's like a muscle start to use that type of
• 33:48
  communication. How are we talking about this?
• 33:50
  Alright, And then you get better at talking about it in general.
• 33:53
  It becomes easier, less awkward. Yeah, if you withdraw the sex
• 33:56
  part out of it, if you just go into this thing of like, what do
• 33:59
  you need today? Like what do you need?
• 34:01
  Let's communicate that, right? Don't just shut me off.
• 34:04
  Communicate with me. A lot of times, if you have a
• 34:06
  partner who has just had a rough day and they don't want to talk
• 34:09
  about it, it's hard for the other person to come in and say,
• 34:12
  like, they see they're kind of closed off.
• 34:14
  So they're like, oh, maybe I want to leave them alone, but
• 34:17
  it's hard to go up to them and be like, hey, like, how can I
• 34:19
  make this situation better? What do you need right now?
• 34:22
  Exactly. Exactly.
• 34:24
  Sometimes, though, we don't know what we need, and that's where
• 34:26
  it gets slightly complicated. Yeah.
• 34:28
  Also, I'm curious where it is. The man coming home and the
• 34:31
  woman's been taking care of the house all day.
• 34:33
  Because I don't know any couple. I think I might know one couple
• 34:37
  that has that dynamic. And most of it is both people
• 34:40
  are out working and then they come home.
• 34:42
  Yeah. And comes in.
• 34:43
  Exactly. That is definitely especially
• 34:44
  both people are working and I think the biggest thing is like
• 34:47
  each person is dealing with their own experiences and
• 34:50
  dealing with their own like troubles.
• 34:52
  And have our struggles everything.
• 34:54
  Exactly. Dealing with their own struggles
• 34:56
  like in their other lives. And a lot of times when they
• 34:59
  come home, it's like the last thing you want to do is to take
• 35:02
  what's out there and then bring it back into your own space.
• 35:05
  There's a good balance in a relationship.
• 35:08
  You can leave all the bullshit, your work, whatever.
• 35:11
  You can leave that out. And when you guys are together,
• 35:14
  it's together. It's not together like this.
• 35:17
  Let's go to dinner. Let's be like this.
• 35:19
  Let's sit on the couch and let's do this.
• 35:21
  It's like it's this. It's here.
• 35:23
  I'm the scientists why I think a lot of divorce rates are through
• 35:26
  the roof, but I. Think they're also better than
• 35:28
  ever so question. You have very interesting views.
• 35:34
  I'm wondering if you know what your love language is, because
• 35:36
  if I had to guess from what you're saying, quality time is
• 35:41
  really important to you. Quality time is probably the
• 35:44
  most important to me. So that's your love language,
• 35:47
  both giving and receiving. Yeah, I mean, for the longest
• 35:49
  time I would say physical touch was in there.
• 35:51
  I would say physical touch is still in the top three.
• 35:54
  Giving would probably be physical touch.
• 35:56
  Like I love giving physical touch.
• 35:58
  Yeah, I actually do love gift giving.
• 36:01
  I can literally come like if someone so if I gave really nice
• 36:04
  bottle of wine, they're like, dude, this wine is so good like
• 36:07
  that for me is like, I love that right?
• 36:09
  I give someone a gift and they enjoy it.
• 36:11
  Like that's definitely up there you.
• 36:12
  Saw them, you know them, you guys nailed it and there's like
• 36:16
  reciprocation in. That yeah, yeah.
• 36:18
  The other like top one up there access service too.
• 36:21
  But I think for me, the biggest one that I love receiving is
• 36:25
  quality time. You really want that connection
• 36:27
  of of, yes, just being together, no phones, not really being
• 36:31
  distracted, yeah. Paying attention.
• 36:33
  I also love giving words of affirmation, which is like the
• 36:35
  praise thing on the king side, but I think like someone's
• 36:39
  saying like, oh, you're a good daddy.
• 36:40
  That shows in the quality time we're together.
• 36:42
  You don't need to show me words of affirmation when I am with
• 36:46
  you. Having quality time is just
• 36:48
  that's an act of service in its own right.
• 36:49
  There you are acting in the part of being with me and doing
• 36:53
  things with me or whatever. Or just like laying in bed
• 36:55
  together or watching a movie, whatever, which then goes back
• 36:59
  into time in the bedroom, right? So connecting there, Yes, yes.
• 37:04
  That makes sense. You mentioned and you were so
• 37:06
  spot on. A lot of people don't realize
• 37:08
  was saying something like good girl is it's kink, it's a praise
• 37:11
  kink. A lot of women might enjoy it
• 37:12
  and not realize, hey, that's actually something kinky.
• 37:14
  Can you name like three others? I think the painting, the arms
• 37:18
  that I described, I also think during sex that's a kinky act
• 37:22
  that people would never consider kinky because it's common.
• 37:25
  And like Joking goes along with that as well.
• 37:27
  I think for me, like you're good girl.
• 37:29
  Another one that I think people like, which I just like saying
• 37:32
  in general, is I'm so proud of you.
• 37:34
  I think one of the best compliments you can get from
• 37:35
  somebody, right? There's the words of affirmation
• 37:38
  thing you. Enjoy, yes?
• 37:40
  Hearing I'm proud. Of yes, so that's number two.
• 37:42
  Number three, if we're going to have sex and we're together,
• 37:45
  like my throat around their neck, eye contact and saying
• 37:48
  like Are you ready? What else do I enjoy?
• 37:50
  What? You're describing is taking
• 37:51
  possession, Yes, in that way, OK.
• 37:54
  Taking possession, but letting them know like, hey, like Are
• 37:57
  you ready for this? I'm here for you.
• 37:59
  If they want to be like rough, it's like first connect with
• 38:03
  that person, understand that like they feel safe and secure
• 38:06
  with you and where first you establish a bomb with them that
• 38:09
  you feel safe and secure with this person.
• 38:11
  Then when it comes to the next move, if you're with them being
• 38:14
  like, hey, Are you ready for this?
• 38:15
  If you're OK with this, if I have your consent, as long as
• 38:18
  you want it, I'm going to beat you up a little.
• 38:20
  I promise I'm here for you. Have that safe word.
• 38:23
  If anything changes just let me know what we do.
• 38:26
  Is we check in in King check in. Sometimes we do like what's your
• 38:29
  color? We'll just say that.
• 38:31
  And if they say yellow, it's too hard.
• 38:32
  And if it's green, it's you can keep going and intensifying.
• 38:36
  Yeah. And then there's red, which is
• 38:37
  like, we're absolutely. Stopping now.
• 38:38
  Yeah, I always like to. Mention that option because it
• 38:41
  adds the layers and it's a quick way to not have.
• 38:43
  It's a one word answer. Yellow tells you everything you
• 38:46
  need to know. If it's a yellow, it's like I'll
• 38:48
  back off. And then there's ratty answer of
• 38:50
  beige which means this is full on boring.
• 38:53
  Like yeah, please work up to a green or.
• 38:56
  Yeah, damn. OK, see, this is stuff that I
• 38:58
  don't know, right? This is like new kink stuff that
• 39:01
  I just don't know a lot of times.
• 39:03
  I'll ask as well. Well, like if I'm about to have
• 39:05
  sex, I'm gonna be like, I'll say, hey, do you want it soft or
• 39:08
  do you want it hard? So the biggest thing is goes all
• 39:11
  the way back to what we've been saying the whole time is the
• 39:13
  communication. Yeah, it's like start soft and
• 39:16
  then go hard or oh, I thought I wanted it hard.
• 39:18
  I absolutely don't want that today.
• 39:20
  Like have these like conversations.
• 39:23
  Sometimes you're gonna like the best part about it is you're
• 39:26
  gonna laugh. If you can laugh during sex,
• 39:29
  it's the best part as long as you're.
• 39:31
  Like social media, it's not that serious.
• 39:33
  Not that serious. You don't need to make it.
• 39:35
  This whole scene, laughing, smiling, maybe taking a break in
• 39:39
  between. You just gotta learn how to have
• 39:40
  fun. It's also like you have to
• 39:42
  understand, like you're not just going to get into right away.
• 39:44
  Yeah, you gotta build to it. And that's the other thing.
• 39:47
  You can't walk in and expect to be the perfect Dom, the perfect
• 39:50
  sub. Aiming for perfection from the
• 39:52
  gecko is just going to ruin the entire experience because all
• 39:54
  you're going to do is beat yourself up about not getting it
• 39:56
  right. I know we are at time, but I'm
• 39:58
  going to give you one last question.
• 40:00
  Do you mention this on a first, second date?
• 40:02
  Do you just naturally introduce it later?
• 40:04
  Like how? When?
• 40:06
  So it's time to bring this up. I think with a lot of this
• 40:09
  stuff, it depends on how connected you are with this
• 40:12
  person. With my ex, she knew I was like,
• 40:14
  especially someone like myself, like I do only fans, right?
• 40:17
  Like that's I'm in the space. I'm in the space of I could talk
• 40:20
  about this stuff freely. But I think when it comes down
• 40:22
  to like the daddy, the good girl, the there's not a specific
• 40:26
  timeline, but it's definitely not a first date thing.
• 40:30
  It's definitely not a. Maybe not the.
• 40:32
  Daddy thing like yes, I'm gonna know on a first date if someone
• 40:36
  is kinky because if there is, if they are vanilla and they're
• 40:38
  like no, I'm not into that. I will never.
• 40:40
  I'm not choking a girl. It depends on the person, I
• 40:43
  think. Definitely.
• 40:44
  For guys too though, I don't think a guy has the same
• 40:47
  flexibility or ability to bring it up on the first date because
• 40:51
  men have a lot of pressure on them too of.
• 40:53
  How they need to present then it's not the norm.
• 40:55
  Dilly I have had the best time chatting.
• 40:58
  This was so fun. Hope to do it again.
• 41:00
  Everyone can find Dilly on. Life of Dilly with with two YS.
• 41:04
  I'm on X as well. Emily post as much on there.
• 41:08
  My only fans is no the throw me a follow.
• 41:11
  Throw me a message if you have any questions regarding any of
• 41:14
  this stuff like I am more than freely to talk about it.
• 41:18
  Well, on that note, Dilly, thank you so much for coming on today.
• 41:21
  Catch Dilly on Instagram at Life of Dilly.
• 41:23
  And that's with two Y's at the end.
• 41:25
  We'll put it in the show notes so that people can find you all
• 41:28
  right. Thanks, Amanda.
• 41:29
  Thanks so much, have a good one. See ya.
• 41:34
  If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe, leave
• 41:36
  a review and share it with anyone who might find it
• 41:39
  interesting. And if you have any questions or
• 41:41
  topics you'd like me to cover in future episodes, feel free to
• 41:43
  reach out e-mail info@thekingconsultant.com.
• 41:47
  Until next time, keep on kinking on.