Latest / The Daily Sarcast / June 2nd, 2026: Serena's Return, Hurricane Season And A New Phone In Miami

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June 2nd, 2026: Serena's Return, Hurricane Season And A New Phone In Miami · The Daily Sarcast

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  Today's episode is sponsored by not working enough and being bored or working
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  too much and missing being bored.
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  There's no middle ground here. In a lot of ways, I feel like I'm looking at
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  my own future. Jimmy Kimmel on Stephen Colbert losing his show.
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  Insert theme song here. This is the Daily Starcast. I give you the news and
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  maybe a laugh. I'm Lindsay Vernick and it's June 2nd, 2026.
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  Good morning and happy Tuesday. Or maybe it's not the morning.
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  Maybe it's the afternoon or the evening or not even June 2nd anymore.
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  Well, in any case, I hope you have, are having, or maybe had a great day.
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  In real news, so remember when Serena Williams retired in 2022 and said she
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  was evolving away from tennis?
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  Well, apparently she just evolved right back into a tennis player.
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  Serena has announced she's returning to competition at age 44 and will play
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  doubles at Queens. That will happen right before Wimbledon.
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  This comes after fans noticed her name had appeared in tennis's anti-doping testing pool last year.
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  At the time, Serena responded by saying, I'm not coming back,
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  which is now looking a lot like when your ex posts, I'm focusing on myself right
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  now, and then shows up two weeks later with a boyfriend named Chad.
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  To be fair, maybe Serena wasn't really planning on coming back.
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  Maybe she just woke up one morning and looked around the house and thought,
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  you know what, I really do miss dominating tennis. I'm bored.
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  Honestly, if anyone gets to change their mind, it's Serena Williams.
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  Most of us can't even commit to finishing a Netflix series.
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  She's won 23 Grand Slam titles, 7 Wimbledons, and enough tennis matches to make
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  the rest of us feel bad about our New Year's resolutions.
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  Whether she actually plays Wimbledon is still unclear, but if she does,
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  there is a 22-year-old player thinking, wow, I finally made Wimbledon,
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  only to discover her first-round opponent is Serena Williams.
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  Nothing says welcome to the big leagues, quite like getting your dreams crushed
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  by having to play against one of the best players of all time.
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  We'll see how far this comeback goes, but one thing is certain,
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  Serena Williams once again accomplished something that most of us never will.
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  She successfully came out of retirement without becoming a podcast host.
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  It's also giving Tom Brady vibes.
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  This is obviously way better than that one. Blue Origin had a bit of a rough night.
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  And by rough night, I mean their 322-foot New Glenn rocket exploded on the launch
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  pad during a test the other night.
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  The rocket wasn't even trying to go to space yet. It was basically warming up.
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  This is the equivalent of pulling a hamstring while you're stretching before
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  running the New York City Marathon.
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  The explosion was so severe that it reportedly damaged the only launch pad Blue
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  Origin has for the rocket. which is kind of a problem.
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  This setback could impact NASA's moon plans and Amazon's attempt to compete
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  with Starlink in the space internet race.
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  To his credit, Jeff Bezos responded by saying they'll rebuild and get back to
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  flying, which is exactly what you have to say when your rocket explodes.
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  You can't really post, you know what, maybe space isn't for us.
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  The good news is that nobody was injured.
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  The bad news is the rocket appears to have completed its mission of becoming
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  several smaller rockets.
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  This is also the only industry where a giant fireball can be described as a setback.
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  Like, if someone's oven exploded, no one would call it a setback.
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  Well, they'd call the fire department.
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  Happy hurricane season, everybody! This week officially marks the start of Atlantic
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  hurricane season, which is that magical time of year when weather forecasters
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  stare at a blurry green blob 800 miles away and say, we're keeping a close eye on this.
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  Right now, experts say conditions aren't ideal for tropical development because of windshear.
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  Windshear is basically Mother Nature's way of saying, not today.
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  The ocean is warm enough, there's enough moisture, the atmosphere is all the
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  ingredients for a storm.
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  It's kind of like a reality dating show where everyone's attractive,
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  everyone's single, but nobody can form a meaningful connection.
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  Forecasters are watching a low-pressure area that could develop off the East
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  Coast later this week. The good news is that it currently looks mostly non-tropical.
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  The bad news is that weather experts have the same energy as people in horror movies.
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  They always say things like, there's probably nothing to worry about.
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  And then three days later, they're
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  standing in front of a satellite image shaped exactly like a skull.
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  For now, there are no organized tropical systems. So hurricane season is off to a quiet start.
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  Which means Americans can spend the next six months checking weather apps every
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  20 minutes and buying bottled water like it's a limited edition sneaker release. Welcome to summer.
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  In Lindsay life, as promised, I have some more stories from Miami this past
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  week, so let me tell you another one.
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  If you missed yesterday's, it was the big flan incident of 2026,
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  so make sure to check out that podcast.
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  So it was the last day of the trip on Saturday, and my phone was glitching out.
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  And if you saw a picture of my phone, you would know that it also looks like
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  it got run over by a truck.
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  Not once, not twice, but probably like 30 times.
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  And it's been working just fine. Like, there has been no issues.
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  But once I got to Miami and it hit that heat, the phone literally could not
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  cool down. And it just kept turning off and just not working.
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  So I started getting nervous because I flew out the following day
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  on Sunday and I was like shit I don't
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  want to have to travel without a working phone you know
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  like nobody wants to have to do that and I was
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  debating on going to the
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  store because I'm like you know what maybe it'll pull through and I'll just deal with
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  it when I get home however as I'm telling
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  my co-worker about it in the car where it just happened to
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  pass by a Verizon store right there and we were on the way back to the hotel
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  anyway I wasn't like going back to set for the rest of the day so I got dropped
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  off with no working phone and then I was like wait shit I don't even know where
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  I am this was also like 20 minutes until closing too.
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  So I tell all the guys what's going on at the store. They're looking at my phone.
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  And whenever something like this happens, you know, where there's like a hiccup
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  in life, I had a little bump, you got to always call the dad.
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  And there is quite nothing like calling your father from a random phone number
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  to tell him that something is wrong.
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  I haven't done that in probably over a year now, maybe, maybe a few years now.
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  So I feel like I'm okay but I'm probably also blacking out another time that I had to do it.
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  Anyway so I call my dad I tell him what's going on
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  he tells me like yeah like get a new phone like
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  obviously you need one so I hang up the
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  phone and then I go over to talk to the Verizon guys
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  and they're like both like these two guys are trying to
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  fix my phone and they're like cutting themselves
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  on the back of the phone because the glass on
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  the phone was like coming out and they kept really like ow ow
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  and I'm like just put my phone down stop trying to make it
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  work like I'm just gonna get a new one anyway so
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  I got a new phone it works great I'm back and
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  connected with the world but then I felt bad because it was almost like 7 30
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  at night and these guys were like supposed to go home they were closing up shop
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  and so my phone was still updating but I didn't necessarily still need to be
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  in the store and like who just wants to hang out of a Verizon store on a Saturday night.
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  So I was like, okay, like you guys like go home, like just tell me how to get home from here.
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  So they pointed in the direction of my hotel and I walked down the street for
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  like 15 minutes and ran into my hotel. Thank God.
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  Lindsay lessons, a lesson by Linz. Whenever you call your parents from a number
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  that is not yours, always start with I'm okay.
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  As long as you are physically okay.
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  Cooking tip of the day. If you only eat half of your food, you can have the
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  other half for your next meal.
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  Feedback, comments, questions, a nice Jewish by looking for a date,
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  email me at lindsay at thedailystarcast.com. Thanks so much for listening.
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  Talk to you guys tomorrow.