Latest / Questionable Detour / Letting a man inside your clothes with you, wearing wet socks to bed, and concerning every father.

Transcript

Letting a man inside your clothes with you, wearing wet socks to bed, and concerning every father. · Questionable Detour

0:00
Excuse me, what is going on here?
0:04
But first we're going to make a little detour.
0:09
So absurd, so questionable.
0:12
I guess we're just the weirdos.
0:15
Expect the detour.
0:24
So every once in a while, Alan and I like to check in on Evan and really see how
0:29
his life is going, how he is emotionally, where his ego's at.
0:32
We don't care, to be fair.
0:34
We just want to check and see where he's at.
0:37
Yeah, it's just purely curiosity.
0:40
You know, when you see an ant crawling across the pavement, you step on it just
0:44
to see what happens, same type of curiosity.
0:47
So Evan, where are you at as far as happiness, joy, and, you know, a sunny disposition?
0:54
Never been happier, I think.
0:56
Never been higher.
0:57
I got a couple of friends that check in on me all the time.
0:59
You're misreading, man.
1:02
I mean, I'm successful.
1:04
Uh, I have things.
1:06
Um, so you're feeling pretty good.
1:08
Yeah.
1:09
I'm higher on my horse than I've ever been.
1:10
What is there anything that could maybe take you down?
1:13
Well, what would just, what would just turn your day completely upside down?
1:17
Tell you what, what would take me down.
1:19
Okay.
1:20
So we'll say the things that won't take me down because that list may be shorter.
1:24
Okay.
1:27
One of these cock and nanny Saturday workers, right?
1:30
Yeah.
1:31
Saying anything about me.
1:33
Yeah.
1:33
I don't listen to a word.
1:34
These people say I, I'm better than them.
1:37
Okay.
1:37
I give them advice, you know, they don't give you're the one with the mic.
1:42
Yeah.
1:43
I'm just better.
1:45
Um, is that, is that a good way to alienate yourself from your listeners?
1:49
Yeah.
1:49
Go to an awesome.
1:49
You're on the right track.
1:51
Yeah.
1:51
Well, let's test that theory because we have an email this week of somebody that
1:57
understands the world needs less happiness in Evan.
2:00
There needs to be less light behind those eyes.
2:03
And Kyle writes in and he simply puts, Hey, Alan, Evan, and Zach.
2:08
So first of all, I would like to insult Evan.
2:10
I bet he likes to wear wet socks to bed and blows bubbles in his milk.
2:16
That dumb idiot.
2:18
Immediate thoughts, immediate feelings.
2:20
Immediate thoughts, immediate feelings would be it hurts.
2:23
It does.
2:24
Yeah.
2:24
But it's not going to get me down.
2:25
Understandable, understandable.
2:27
Um, because a couple of those seem like facts.
2:29
So why would they get you down?
2:31
Well, just because they're true doesn't mean they hurt any less.
2:35
Okay.
2:35
You do them.
2:36
It just, yeah, you're hurt by your, your weird hobbies.
2:40
Yeah.
2:40
I realize what it does to me and my family.
2:42
So I'm glad that's why, that's why the divorce over under a 72 hours.
2:48
Cause the moment that you got into bed with Savannah and she saw you dipping
2:53
socks into the tub to put on your feet.
2:56
She was like, ah, yeah, forget that I put, I get the socks wet before I put them on.
3:01
I forget that.
3:01
Oh, you, I guess that is true.
3:04
You could probably, he fills up the tub instead of just using the sink.
3:10
And he puts a bath bomb in it.
3:12
It's like a whole like night routine.
3:15
You got to get a scent on the socks.
3:16
Obviously.
3:17
So what does wet socks do for you in bed?
3:20
I feel like it really grounds me.
3:22
Is that because you've connected yourself with electrodes and are
3:25
running electricity through you and you're grounded?
3:28
Yeah.
3:28
And I'm just sparking every time anything touches me.
3:32
You like somebody put a defibrillator on you.
3:34
Yeah.
3:34
I look like a transformer that's about to blow.
3:39
And those wet socks just help that electricity move through.
3:42
Really conduct, just really conduct some electricity.
3:45
When you wet those socks down, is it always water?
3:48
I like to give it a good mix.
3:49
Uh, depends on what I'm drinking that day.
3:51
Sure.
3:52
Whatever I feel like I need to take more in of most days, it's water.
3:55
Cause you're healthy.
3:56
Yeah, I'm healthy.
3:57
I'm just like the rest.
3:58
I feel like I never get enough water in my day.
4:00
Sure.
4:00
Now, Kyle, Kyle had a nice call out of milk coming up.
4:04
Yeah.
4:05
He does say some of them.
4:06
Do you ever just ferment those socks in milk?
4:09
I know you don't watch those socks.
4:10
Those socks become some sort of weird cheese.
4:13
I got to say it's interesting the types of bacteria that can grow on socks.
4:17
Yeah.
4:18
Um, and that's kind of what I like to culture.
4:20
See what kind of bacteria I can just muster up.
4:23
You're growing bacteria.
4:25
Just seeing what can grow.
4:28
I'm sure it must be hard trying to keep bacteria alive when you're sending
4:32
volts of electricity through your body.
4:34
Exactly.
4:35
And that is half the experiment I'm doing is to see what bacteria can withstand.
4:40
Maybe grow a new super bacteria that you can't kill with electricity.
4:45
So you go to bed with probably with like a lab coat on because you're
4:49
some kind of weird scientist in your mind.
4:52
Yeah, I got a lab coat, wet socks, a nine volt battery, and just a lot of enthusiasm.
4:57
Yeah, you're very happy.
4:59
Really interested to see where the night's going to lead.
5:02
Now, is that enthusiasm or is your body just coursing with electricity?
5:06
Yeah.
5:06
It's surging. Yeah, it really hypes me up.
5:10
It's like it's nothing like an energy drink.
5:11
You know, yeah, it's more than anything you could ever get at a gas station.
5:15
No, absolutely.
5:16
So this brings me to the next thing.
5:18
What the blows bubbles in milk.
5:21
What is this?
5:22
Why?
5:22
Why are you blowing bubbles in milk?
5:24
I think it's important to incorporate air into your milk just because you
5:28
don't want it to be like a tough bread.
5:30
So let me ask you this.
5:31
When you look on the carton or gaffer, you know, you're going to be
5:35
on a carton or gallon of milk and it has an expiration date.
5:39
How far back is that date on that gallon
5:42
of milk that you have to keep it from turning into a solid?
5:45
And don't use years.
5:46
Use use your favorite way of telling us
5:51
when something happened by using past events.
5:54
Yeah, that's right.
5:55
When did you get the gallon of milk in your fridge right now?
6:01
Well.
6:03
Pre covid post Trump.
6:05
Somewhere somewhere in there.
6:07
Yeah, it's old milk.
6:08
Yeah.
6:09
Multiple years.
6:10
Really a tough time for our country.
6:13
Me and the milk have seen a lot.
6:15
Yeah.
6:15
That's why I can't throw it out.
6:16
Sure.
6:17
Yeah.
6:17
You do it all the sentimental thing.
6:20
Yeah.
6:20
You blow bubbles into your milk because it is almost solidified because it's so
6:26
old. That's your answer to this.
6:29
You basically got your mouth in butter.
6:33
It smells so bad with the old milk and just wet socks and like fried hair from
6:42
the electricity. That's true.
6:44
Yeah.
6:44
You guys like yogurt?
6:46
It's kind of the same thing.
6:47
Yeah, it's kind of the same same thing.
6:50
Texture.
6:50
You like yogurt.
6:51
You'll like post Trump pre covid milk.
6:56
If you're about to offer us, I do have some it's in the other room.
7:00
I got a couple.
7:01
Oh, I can smell it.
7:02
Yeah, so you want that. You're saying you want some.
7:04
Did you want some, Alan?
7:05
I'm going to have to pass.
7:06
OK, I'm going to pass too.
7:07
Then there you go.
7:08
Evan, did Kyle knock you down at all because he just kind of exposed you for two
7:12
very weird things.
7:13
The truth is out there now.
7:15
The truth is out there now, which so be it.
7:18
You are settling dropping hints to these things.
7:20
You know, the wet socks were that you're wearing right now for is probably the
7:24
first hint fact that I slid across the room whenever I entered here.
7:29
I would say a little.
7:30
OK, OK, where I guess is what I'll say.
7:34
You're more aware that didn't really answer the question, but he's more aware.
7:37
Kyle, I don't know if that was what Kyle set out to more aware.
7:41
He's hatred of Kyle.
7:42
OK, oh, there it is.
7:44
Do you have anything to say to Kyle?
7:45
Listen, Kyle, we all have our secrets.
7:48
You don't see me out here telling everybody about how you're not the man you once were.
7:53
Oh, yeah. Tell a secret about Kyle on everybody to know Kyle.
7:57
He licks the dust off the bottom of cabinets.
8:00
Oh, Kyle, Kyle,
8:04
you know, place to judge Evan.
8:06
So what are you going to do, Kyle?
8:08
Now that both our secrets are out, there's just what you wanted, man.
8:12
That's what I'm talking about.
8:12
This is like a Jerry Springer episode.
8:14
You know, when we have him back, when we send out that that message across the
8:19
radio waves, calling in all the Saturday workers to just roast Evan,
8:25
I didn't think we'd get Kyle.
8:26
I don't know that we wanted Kyle
8:29
after after finding out his secret.
8:31
He's almost as bad as Evan.
8:33
Yeah, there's some collateral damage on this.
8:36
Hmm.
8:37
It's weird that Kyle called out Evan when he knew that Evan knew something so dark
8:42
about him. Yeah, how did Evan know about Kyle's weird problems?
8:48
So when you meet a Kyle, you know, you know, it's every Kyle probably does it.
8:52
That makes sense.
8:53
Oh, well, there you go, Kyle.
8:55
You knocked him down and made him more aware.
8:57
He's aware of his surroundings.
8:59
I don't know.
9:00
He's really aware of you.
9:02
Yeah, so really aware of you.
9:04
I'd say watch your back.
9:06
You can probably hear him coming when you hear the squishy sounds from the socks
9:11
and smell him with his old milk drink.
9:14
Like is it a must scape out here with his
9:18
old milk drink?
9:20
Oh, man.
9:22
Welcome to Questionable Detour.
9:24
Let's do a hypothetical.
9:25
Dave, can I pose a somewhat abstract, purely hypothetical question?
9:30
I guess I want to apologize for asking a hypothetical question.
9:33
Well, that's a hypothetical question.
9:35
So Kyle wrote a little more than just insulting Evan.
9:39
So we read the part of the email where he insulted Evan.
9:42
The rest of his email continues like this.
9:45
Anyway, hypothetical that I hope you guys will answer for me.
9:49
I was having to get fitted for a wedding suit and was overcome with the awkwardness
9:54
as the guy walked around me with that tape measure measuring every part of my body.
9:59
What you guys do when you are getting fitted for clothes and you have a tailor
10:04
examining you, but you guys are the best.
10:06
I've even listened to you with my dad in the car.
10:08
And he was laughing at the answers to the sleepover hypothetical.
10:12
Keep up the good work.
10:13
A Saturday worker, Kyle.
10:15
First of all, he was measuring every part of you.
10:17
Come on. Come on, Kyle.
10:19
Kyle, I think you got taken advantage of.
10:24
I'll tell your dad,
10:26
Kyle's dad, if you're listening on your own, call Kyle.
10:30
Check it.
10:31
There's no way Kyle and his dad are not sitting in the car right now.
10:34
And Kyle's just like sweating.
10:38
I like to think they're gathered around
10:40
the fireplace at that Kyle's family home,
10:43
listening to this podcast like they did in the 40s.
10:46
It's cold outside, playing it on an old radio.
10:50
They're all crowded around and listen to what they call their programs.
10:55
It's a fireside chat with QD right here.
10:59
But the scary thing is, is if we do continue with that thought,
11:03
that means Kyle's whole family has heard that he licks the dust off the bottom of
11:08
the shelves and now that he was probably molested by a tailor.
11:13
But thank you, Kyle.
11:14
We are the best.
11:15
I think we knew that you didn't have to tell us.
11:17
Affirmation is good, though.
11:18
Yeah.
11:18
I mean, thank you for telling us.
11:19
And a shout out to Kyle's dad.
11:21
Kyle, have your dad right in.
11:23
Yeah, we're kind of I think we're more into him now.
11:26
We've moved on.
11:30
But all right, guys, Kyle wants to know,
11:32
what do you all do when you all get examined from a tailor, you know, fitting
11:36
you for some new clothes, because I know the three of us have gotten fitted for
11:39
multiple tuxedos, so we're classy folk.
11:42
So what do you all do for me personally?
11:44
I don't know about you guys, but it can be an awkward situation.
11:48
And it just feels awkward.
11:50
Someone telling you the size of you,
11:53
maybe you can be insecure about that or whatever.
11:55
I mean, and you are I would never be that.
11:58
I mean, too good for that.
11:59
And so what I like to do is I like to make sure that the way that he's measuring
12:05
me doesn't paint me in a bad light. Sure.
12:07
So I tell that man when he's got his little ruler wrapped around me,
12:12
he wraps a ruler around you.
12:15
Yeah, they don't like break a yardstick in half.
12:18
He's like karate top it.
12:20
Just a bunch of small bits.
12:22
He's like, let me get that inseam measurement.
12:24
Yeah,
12:26
that's a special yard.
12:28
Yagi measuring you.
12:31
He gets that tape measure around me and starts to write down, you know,
12:35
32 inches or whatever, I'm like, no, what's that in miles?
12:40
Yeah, you want him to convert it to miles.
12:42
I want him to convert every measurement to miles.
12:45
So it's actually like point zero zero two three miles.
12:50
And that makes me look really skinny.
12:52
You know, yeah, that is true that you're using in miles.
12:56
So I make him convert it to miles for every measurement.
12:59
If you were curious, my torso length is point three six miles point.
13:03
Oh, three six.
13:04
OK, make sense.
13:05
You seem very small.
13:06
You seem like you could be on a runway as a Victoria Secret Supermodel.
13:10
Thank you.
13:12
Could you imagine Evan on the Victoria Secret runway?
13:16
Can you imagine?
13:17
Oh, let's take a moment.
13:19
Let's take a moment and imagine it.
13:23
I'm hot.
13:26
Very hot.
13:27
But could you imagine it?
13:28
He's got all like the feathers, the big wings, and he's strutting his stuff.
13:32
And the announcer is like, this is Evan.
13:34
He's point zero zero zero one six three miles wide.
13:39
People are like, oh,
13:41
so small.
13:44
What I'm imagining is going for a run
13:46
and then looking down at my Apple watch and saying, you ran this many Evans.
13:51
Oh, he's Evans as a unit of measurement.
13:53
OK.
13:55
So many Evans.
13:57
That's like one step.
13:59
How did you get that unit of measurement?
14:00
Did you maybe go out and run and you brought Evan with you?
14:04
What I did is I laid Evan down and just rolled him.
14:07
I just flipped him over once.
14:09
And that was that was one unit of measurement.
14:12
Yeah. So like you were running.
14:14
So you laid him down and then you ran his distance.
14:17
So very, very quick,
14:19
the quickest sprint.
14:20
And then you flipped him.
14:21
Yeah. And then you ran again.
14:23
And then you flipped him.
14:24
I didn't say it was a good use of my time.
14:27
I just said I did it.
14:29
You made a name for yourself in the town.
14:31
Yeah. Yeah.
14:33
Call him the they call me the weird guy
14:35
that runs with a guy that lays down on the ground guy rolls off the tongue.
14:40
Yeah, that seems like it'd be hard to bring up in conversation.
14:44
It sounds like no one remembers your name ever.
14:48
So do you use this way of measuring elsewhere?
14:53
Like you tell the tailor to convert it, but do you use it elsewhere?
14:57
Um, I mean, when I'm talking to anybody,
15:00
you know, when I'm like trying to see how tall their kid is.
15:03
Yeah. I'm like, hey, your kid's getting really big.
15:06
How tall is he now?
15:07
They're like, oh, he's three feet tall.
15:09
And I'm like, that makes no sense to me.
15:12
Put that miles, please.
15:13
I have no concept of what three feet is.
15:16
Do you actually think three feet is the child has three feet when the parents
15:20
like he's three feet tall, you're like, where's the other one?
15:23
This is a stupid measurement.
15:25
Let's just make it miles.
15:26
Yeah. And they look at you probably with understanding, right?
15:29
Obviously. They're like, it's just such a better measurement.
15:32
It makes so much more sense.
15:35
This is the equivalent to somebody saying, yeah, my kid's 73 months old.
15:40
Yeah. They use months for years.
15:43
So when the parents finally convert their kids height to miles, they go,
15:48
his child is not growing at all. He is severely under.
15:51
Yeah. He's like point zero zero six three miles.
15:54
We need to get him to the doctor.
15:56
We have a midget on our hands.
15:58
Let's stretch this baby out.
16:01
And that's when they start tying a rope to his hands and a rope to his feet
16:04
and then pulling them between two trucks.
16:07
It's interesting they used modern trucks for such a archaic way of thinking.
16:13
It's so weird that they couldn't find
16:15
weird medieval torture devices laying around to stretch the body out.
16:20
You know, you would think with that line
16:21
of thinking, they would get a couple of horses.
16:24
They don't listen to doctors well around here.
16:26
So the people that you're around really don't look at you weird for this.
16:29
If that's their natural reaction to the information.
16:32
Oh, no, of course, they're all on my side.
16:35
This has really been a detriment to my construction career because.
16:39
Oh, that's right. You did.
16:40
You did work construction.
16:42
I did for some months.
16:43
Yeah, not many didn't last.
16:46
Yeah, didn't last because boy, did I try to build a house that was
16:50
point oh five miles long, a mile long point.
16:55
Oh, five point.
16:57
Oh, I misheard that five percent of a mile.
17:01
Yeah, five percent of a mile still seems like a lot.
17:04
Yeah, it does. It seems like a big old house.
17:06
I was into building big houses.
17:08
All right.
17:09
That's why I got fired very quickly.
17:11
I think it's because you don't understand measure.
17:16
Listen, have you ever tried to build a house,
17:19
to build a roof that was point oh seven nine miles long on one side and point oh
17:25
eight on the other and put it at a negative hundred and thirty five degree
17:31
angle? Wow. I cannot say I have, but I guarantee there are some like blue collar
17:35
workers out there. They're like moaning right now.
17:38
They're like, I get it.
17:39
They might not get the unit of measurement, but they're like,
17:42
I was a Saturday worker once.
17:44
Yeah.
17:45
So how do you measure this?
17:46
Do you I imagine you just have a crazy long ruler that is a mile long to help you
17:54
make these measurements? Yeah, I unspool that baby.
17:56
I just kind of flip it out, you know, and it doesn't roll rolls all the way down.
18:00
I kind of just use like the first couple
18:02
measurements on it and then I got to roll the whole thing.
18:04
Yeah, it's a nightmare.
18:05
I never got anything done.
18:07
It's good that you have the convenience
18:09
of a roll up one because I just assumed you had a mile long piece of wood with
18:15
inches and feet marked out for you.
18:17
Nobody's ever accused him of having a mile long piece of wood.
18:20
Yeah.
18:24
Converting inches to miles, that's an interesting way of going about getting
18:29
your suit fitted. I would have expected nothing less.
18:31
All right, Alan, you're going to get fitted for a nice suit.
18:35
And as the patriarch that you are, you go to a lot of important events.
18:39
How do you how do you handle being tailored for a new suit?
18:43
So when I walk into that men's warehouse, I see those middle aged depressed
18:50
employees getting ready to fit me for a suit.
18:53
What I like to do, I like to show these guys where I came from so they know where
18:59
I am now. Sure. So I'll take every piece of clothing that I've ever owned
19:04
and I'll put it on my body somehow.
19:07
That way, they have extensive historical records
19:12
of my previous sizes.
19:14
Yeah. So just wear the shirts one on top of the other until I get to where they
19:18
don't really fit me anymore.
19:19
And then I just start wearing a shirt on an arm.
19:21
I was going to ask, do you go all the way back to like in?
19:24
Oh, yeah. I've got the blanket that I used in the hospital as a baby.
19:28
Your arms and legs seem like they're not getting any blood right now
19:33
because of the tight clothes that you're wearing.
19:35
Small price to pay.
19:37
Yeah. Small price to pay.
19:39
I don't mean to accuse you of anything.
19:41
Well, but it sounds like you're shoplifting.
19:45
It sounds like it sounds like you went
19:48
to a men's warehouse and you started stealing clothes.
19:51
And then they asked, you know, they were on to you.
19:55
And then you were like, oh, I need to be tailored for a new suit.
19:58
And that was your excuse.
19:59
That was my cover story. Yeah.
20:01
I'm not going to say that hadn't happened.
20:03
I mean, who among us hasn't walked into a walked into a store and thought, well,
20:08
dead gum it, I forgot I don't want to pay for these.
20:14
You let my mind, you know, it's cheaper stealing, stealing.
20:19
Exactly.
20:21
Just kind of walk past the walk past a rack of clothes.
20:24
You look to your left, you look to your right, make sure nobody's looking.
20:27
Just button that shirt up.
20:29
Wait, the shirt off the rack or you just now button up the shirt you have on the
20:33
shirt off the rack. OK, I don't know if you walk around like a drunk middle
20:36
aged person shirt that I have on is a dirty wife beater.
20:41
Of course, it does not button up.
20:46
So I walk in wearing that dirty, nasty
20:48
wife beater, and now I've changed into some deep purple shirt with cufflinks.
20:53
And like, I mean, you would think somebody would notice you would think.
20:56
But what I do is if they look at me too
20:58
hard, I just stand real still pretend to be a mannequin.
21:02
Yeah. You do the old Trenasaurus Rex thing where, like, if you don't move,
21:06
they can't see you. Yeah.
21:08
How does that go? Does that work?
21:11
It depends on if I'm in white face or not.
21:13
You're
21:16
waiting at it.
21:17
Wait, you said that like we were supposed to get that back up.
21:19
You know how all mannequins are white?
21:21
Like they're all like they're all just standard.
21:25
The color white, not the skin tone.
21:27
Sure. OK, so you're it's not white face.
21:29
You're just going dressed up as a mannequin dressed up as a mannequin.
21:32
Yeah. Got you. OK.
21:33
OK, that needs to be cleared.
21:34
Fair enough. Fair enough.
21:35
And you're saying mannequins are only white.
21:38
Man, we there's somebody out there with hoods on yipping and yapping right now to
21:44
this. He's like, they're like, yeah, this guy gets it
21:48
the way it should be.
21:50
And, you know, maybe that's because I'm going to I'm going to take the blame for
21:54
that, guys, for the clan.
21:56
No, not for you're going to take.
21:58
I cannot blame for the clan.
21:59
I cannot hold responsibility.
22:02
I will take the blame for me only thinking that mannequins are white.
22:07
You're admitting ignorance.
22:08
That's good.
22:09
Maybe I need to be shopping at different places.
22:11
Probably go to a city here.
22:13
Go to a city.
22:20
Maybe we need to broaden my horizons.
22:29
But to get back to the question at hand.
22:32
So when you get tailored for outfits,
22:34
it's just a convenient situation because you were there stealing.
22:37
Yep.
22:37
It's it's one of those things where if I can get out of there without being
22:42
tailored, that is that that is the end result.
22:45
But if they're catching on, you know, I'll play along.
22:48
Yeah, absolutely.
22:49
Get tailored.
22:50
I'll get tailored.
22:51
Was meaning to get my measurements anyways.
22:53
You know, might as might as well do it while I'm stealing things from a local
22:57
men's warehouse.
22:59
Why are you always getting in the situation of being tailored?
23:02
What are you doing?
23:03
Is it because you have so many clothes on under your clothes that you look like a
23:08
like a fat person and they're like, this guy obviously needs to be tailored.
23:11
He's huge.
23:12
Yeah.
23:13
It looks like I'm wearing like an inflatable suit under me because I got so many clothes
23:18
just shoved up into my shirt.
23:20
I'm good.
23:21
I'm addicted to stealing.
23:22
You're a kleptomaniac.
23:23
Yeah. Yeah.
23:24
I mean, everybody does.
23:27
I don't do you steal.
23:28
Do you steal things?
23:29
Hmm.
23:30
Hmm.
23:30
I don't steal things.
23:31
So apparently you two do.
23:33
Hmm.
23:33
What do you steal?
23:34
No.
23:35
What do you steal?
23:36
Steel.
23:37
What do you what do you take without paying?
23:39
A great material.
23:40
That is what I'll say about steel.
23:42
Oh, OK.
23:43
Answer that like a politician.
23:44
Yeah.
23:46
Really dodge that question.
23:47
I would build a house with it.
23:48
Well, way to dodge that question.
23:49
Thank you for being completely honest.
23:51
I mean, I can see Evan decided that he didn't want to be honest today and was
23:55
just going to really dodge the question completely.
23:57
I think it's good for people to know that if they want to steal, that's OK.
24:04
Don't be don't be afraid to just just take some just take something that's not yours.
24:10
Yeah.
24:11
Checking out the gas station, take a pack of gum, slip it in your pocket.
24:15
Somebody leaves their car running also at that gas station.
24:18
Just take it.
24:19
What are they going to do?
24:20
What are they going to do?
24:21
Have a car anymore?
24:22
No.
24:23
You look in the back seat of that car.
24:24
What's that?
24:26
Keurig coffee maker.
24:27
Oh, dump that car.
24:28
Take the coffee maker.
24:30
Steal that.
24:30
Steal that coffee maker from the stolen car.
24:33
What about the child?
24:34
Yeah.
24:35
Yeah.
24:36
What about the three year old infant?
24:37
Take the coffee maker and the kid.
24:39
OK, raise the kid as your own.
24:42
Teach him the art of sleight of hand.
24:45
Raise him to be a thief.
24:47
OK, so you didn't want to raise the coffee
24:50
maker as your own and get your coffee from a three year old.
24:53
You can set the kid up to compete with the coffee maker.
24:55
Yeah.
24:56
You tell that kid how great the coffee maker is a stealing.
25:00
OK, say he's doing better than you.
25:04
But then you tell the coffee maker how great the kid is making coffee.
25:08
You do, but only to be even.
25:09
Yeah.
25:11
That way, you've got the best working coffee maker and the best stealing kid.
25:18
You're really thinking steps ahead of literally everybody on this planet.
25:21
That's right. That's right.
25:23
I do want to bring this back to the very
25:25
beginning where you said you were wearing the history of your clothes.
25:29
That is lying.
25:30
That is how this one started.
25:31
OK, that's so that was not truthful.
25:33
Sure.
25:35
OK, he was he was trying to I was I was give us a run around.
25:39
Yeah, yeah, that was that was what call lie.
25:41
Classic classic misdirection.
25:45
No, that little white lie as white as his face paint.
25:49
Oh, man, there you go.
25:51
And you you only use a tailor because you accidentally get caught from stealing.
25:56
Yep. Oh, OK.
25:59
Just just another day, really.
26:01
Yeah. Here's what I do when I go to a tailor to get clothes fitted.
26:06
I don't steal. I don't steal clothes.
26:08
So I go to a tailor, honestly, and I ask him to give me the the measurements in
26:14
inches, you know, like a normal human.
26:16
But here's the thing.
26:17
I don't want to take off my clothes in front of the tailor.
26:20
And what do you do at a tailor?
26:23
You take your clothes off, you know, you don't take your clothes off for a tailor.
26:28
Not any tailor I've been to.
26:31
Well, Kyle took his clothes off for a tailor because he made every part of his body.
26:36
Y'all got some weird tailors.
26:38
OK, well, here's here's here's here's what I do.
26:40
I don't take my clothes off for the tailor.
26:41
That's out of the way.
26:43
I don't do it.
26:44
But I want the tailor to not only get my measurements because that's only
26:48
the empirical data, it's it's not personal.
26:52
I want my tailor to understand what it's like to be in my clothes.
26:55
Here comes back around.
26:56
I'm not going to take my clothes off for the tailor.
26:59
Good. So he puts them on.
27:01
Right.
27:02
I want the tailor to get in my clothes with me.
27:08
So that means I want my tailor to know my clothes personally, dare I say intimately.
27:13
And I unbutton my pants and unzip and I unbutton my shirt and I invite him in
27:18
as if I'm inviting in a long lost friend into my house to have dinner with me.
27:25
And I just kind of cooked some in.
27:26
He backs in and he puts his arm down the sleeve with my arm still in it.
27:33
But the other arm down the sleeve with my other arm in it, pants the same way.
27:39
Not with his arms, though, because that would be weird with his legs.
27:43
And then we button up and then, you know, he just like a person.
27:48
Like a fat person with two heads.
27:50
And then, you know, we just kind of sit there, I guess.
27:52
And I'm sweaty.
27:54
So he's like filling the sweat on my clothes.
28:00
You know, the shoes are kind of hard to get on with two people getting into the shoes.
28:05
But we do it. I fit it in there.
28:07
I fit two dogs in one shoe, you know.
28:12
And he does this willingly.
28:15
He does it hesitantly.
28:16
And there's a difference there.
28:18
But he does it of his own volition.
28:20
Yeah, he does it his own volition because he's a good tailor.
28:22
And I think he understands the art of the measurement.
28:27
And if you really, truly want to get the
28:29
measurement of somebody, you have to walk a mile in their clothes with them.
28:33
Is he hesitant because he's afraid of doing it or afraid of how he's going to feel?
28:45
You know, I've had a tailor to just start crying,
28:47
just soft, soft weeping
28:51
while they're in my clothes with me.
28:54
And I would like to think
28:56
I would like to think that it's because they appreciate the beauty of the moment.
29:01
He's not only getting a measure of your size physically,
29:06
but he's getting a measure of your heart.
29:07
Of my soul. That's right.
29:09
That's beautiful.
29:10
And, you know, I'd like to think it's the moment where we're on top of a very high
29:14
cliff and we're watching a sunset together and it's just kind of that beautiful
29:19
moment, maybe over a beach area somewhere, just your body's pressed up against each other.
29:25
It's a beach.
29:27
So hot and humid.
29:29
His body is pressed up against each other in layers of clothes, just moist,
29:36
sliding around on each other and wearing
29:38
flip flops on the beach, too, so it's kind of a weird situation, a double foot and a
29:42
flip flop. That's the least of the worries here on this on this beach.
29:49
So, yeah, I think they appreciate it after.
29:51
I think they're afraid of what they might feel,
29:54
afraid that they may never feel this moment again.
29:57
Yeah, you know, it's an interesting situation when the day's done.
30:01
You know, it's an all day affair
30:03
because you could turn it on and off, you know, the tailor.
30:07
No,
30:08
you can just you and that tailor can get out of that outfit and you can go home
30:13
like a normal person, right? But that person, a normal person,
30:17
a normal day for you, a normal person, that tailor, he's going to leave change.
30:25
Yes, to say the least, he's going to leave changed.
30:29
He's he's not going to know how to interact with his family.
30:33
He's not going to be able to go to sleep straight away at night.
30:36
No, no, he'll he'll lay awake for a while.
30:40
That'll keep him up.
30:42
A lot of sleepless nights, but it's only because I think at that moment
30:46
he's reached self-aculization.
30:48
He's reached the pinnacle of life.
30:51
They're rolling over, checking his phone to see if you've text.
30:53
Yeah. Come on back in, brother.
30:56
It's like 2 a.m. and he's he's just texting you, you know, got the
31:00
sizes if you want, we can go over them tomorrow.
31:04
What are you wearing?
31:08
That outfit from this morning.
31:10
I think a lot about your clothes.
31:12
Yeah, I tell him I'm wearing the pajamas
31:15
that Ebenezer Scrooge wears, you know, with like the long sleep hat.
31:20
Yeah, you know, and arguably top three most attractive sleepwear.
31:24
Yeah, the only sexiest of laundry.
31:27
The only sexiest of laundry is
31:33
honestly, top three sexiest Christmas people of all time.
31:37
I'm putting them in number and putting them top three for sure.
31:40
I'm glad that we got that out of the way.
31:45
But that's what I do.
31:46
I just want my tailor to know me personally, know my clothes personally.
31:52
So I have them get in the clothes with me.
31:54
That's good. I like that.
31:56
So there you go, Kyle. Three things that we do.
31:59
I hope that your tailor visit was as interesting.
32:05
It's traumatizing.
32:07
But anyway, there's what the three
32:09
fanciest people do when they get their suits tailored.
32:12
But our next segment is going to be a draft.
32:14
Let's jump into that.
32:15
Welcome back to the draft.
32:17
Good young players with the drafts all about.
32:19
Here and in your house.
32:20
Welcome back to the draft.
32:22
I never say anything like this.
32:23
All right, so for this draft, we're doing another blind draft.
32:26
Evan's out. So we're doing a blind draft.
32:28
And how the blind draft work is me and Alan have decided on a topic,
32:33
a topic that we will draft and Evan has no idea what's coming.
32:38
But he's still going to have to draft all the same.
32:40
So the subject of this draft is what you
32:44
could show your father to make him concerned.
32:47
So let's call Evan back in and start the draft.
32:50
All right, Evan, how was your journey on the outside of the studio?
32:54
Scary.
32:56
I didn't know what to do out there on my own.
32:58
Yeah.
32:59
How are you feeling? You feeling confident?
33:00
Like always.
33:01
OK, ignorant confidence.
33:03
That's you.
33:04
All right, well, let's get to drafting.
33:06
Alan, you want to go first?
33:07
Yeah. So my first pick out the gate, strong choice.
33:11
I'm going to go with a signed picture of Jimmy Carter.
33:17
Actually, my first picks is going to be a picture, too.
33:20
But the picture I have is a picture of me in a thong bikini.
33:28
Is this the one that you already have or are you getting this made?
33:32
It's already one I have.
33:33
I have it framed and everything.
33:35
Two pictures.
33:36
OK, one central and sexy and two central and sexy.
33:43
Say one central and sexy and then one of Zack.
33:47
I think I'm going to have to go with my first pick.
33:52
I didn't make this too easy, but I'm just going to have to go with my dad's diploma.
34:02
His college diploma.
34:03
Really? Your dad's college diploma.
34:06
Yeah, I think so. Yeah.
34:07
OK, strong.
34:10
It's a strong first pick.
34:12
OK, good. OK, I was nervous about that one.
34:15
Your dad's diploma.
34:17
My dad. Yeah, that's what you go with.
34:19
Yeah, like his framed diploma.
34:20
Yeah, OK. OK.
34:22
All right. Well, Alan, second pick of the the blind questionable detour draft.
34:27
What are you doing?
34:28
Let go with a copy of the book New Moon from the Twilight series.
34:37
A great pick.
34:38
I really if an excellent and excellent choice for the people that know what the
34:43
subject of the draft is, it's a great pick.
34:45
If you know, you know.
34:46
Yeah.
34:47
My second pick is going to be freshly neutered bull testicles.
34:52
Jesus.
34:53
See, I'm trying to figure out what New Moon and freshly neutered bull testicles
34:58
have in common. They do.
35:00
They have something in common.
35:01
OK, because right now I'm not seeing the link is vague at best.
35:06
Our deep thinking Saturday workers, they they figured it out.
35:10
And mostly because they heard us.
35:11
I tell mostly because, yeah, we've already talked about it.
35:14
We go with a an apron covered in cocoa powder and flour,
35:20
one that looks like it's been baked in.
35:21
Yeah, yeah.
35:22
I used apron.
35:23
Yeah, basically.
35:24
Yeah, baking apron.
35:25
Yeah. OK, that's good.
35:27
I guess. Yeah, that's pretty good.
35:29
Solid second pick.
35:30
All right, Alan.
35:32
Third and final pick.
35:33
I'm going to I'm going to choose an article of clothing this time.
35:36
A skirt made out of foxtails.
35:40
What?
35:41
It's very Irish Scottish sounding.
35:44
Very. Yeah.
35:45
Yeah.
35:46
Are they tied together?
35:47
They just sewing everything underneath them.
35:49
Those tails, you know, they're tied at the top half,
35:52
but the bottom half of the tail just flows.
35:56
You're letting everybody see your bits.
35:58
You see what you you see, what you want to see.
36:00
Very good.
36:02
My third and final pick is whatever my father had in his pocket at that given
36:07
time and what whatever he had in his pocket at that given time.
36:12
It'll be almost like a magic trick.
36:13
Like, you'll know he has his, you know, multi tool wallet.
36:18
But then all of a sudden I have his multi tool wallet and he has no idea how I got
36:22
it. Oh, OK.
36:23
You see what I'm saying? Like a little magic trick situation.
36:25
You get it.
36:26
That's you know, Zach's Zach's pick is a good one.
36:30
If Evan even had any clue, I'm pretty sure your your latest pick threw him off
36:37
the trail. Yeah.
36:38
And that's what I meant to do.
36:39
It can it confused me and I knew what the topic was.
36:43
It's it's as easy to throw Evan off the trail as it would be a blind man on a hike.
36:48
You know, you look stressed, Evan.
36:51
Third and final pick, big pick, final pick.
36:53
Now I want to go back on some of my
36:56
kids already drafted them.
36:58
I think third pick is going to be the sexy leg lamp from from A Christmas Story.
37:03
Oh, OK. That might be good.
37:05
So did you have a guess on what we might be drafting for?
37:09
I think it's going to be things that were in the room when you were conceived.
37:19
No, but very funny.
37:21
It is good.
37:22
Yeah, especially since I picked a framed picture of me in a bikini when I was
37:28
conceived, that's that's what actually led me to it.
37:31
That's a time travelers nightmare right there.
37:34
My parents were a huge fan of the Twilight.
37:36
Yeah, Jimmy Carter.
37:38
Well, all right.
37:40
Do you are you wanting to know what to know?
37:42
OK, that's not correct.
37:44
I don't know what could be.
37:45
Yeah, well, here it is.
37:46
The subject was things that you could show your dad to concern him.
37:51
Oh,
37:53
sign picture of Jimmy Carter.
37:55
He wasn't a fan.
37:57
So let's run through our picks now that everybody in the room and on the other end
38:05
of the mic knows what we picked, so we had a sign picture of Jimmy Carter,
38:11
the book New Moon from the Twilight series and a skirt made out of foxtails.
38:18
We know every dad when those Twilight books came out were concerned.
38:22
Yeah, like if they not a fan from the middle age group.
38:26
No, you don't want nothing you want to see your son with
38:30
and obviously a skirt made of foxtails.
38:33
You definitely don't want that are not mended on the way down.
38:36
Yeah, no, no, no, no, no.
38:38
Especially a combination of the two.
38:39
Yeah, foxtails and New Moon.
38:42
You sound like a furry.
38:46
Mine were a framed picture of me in a thong bikini,
38:50
a pair of freshly confiscated bull testicles.
38:55
Confiscated police pull you over.
38:58
Yeah, you know, I was like, you took them from a kid at school.
39:04
Who's to say where they came from?
39:06
I mean, a bull at one point, but after that, who knows?
39:09
And then finally, it was whatever my father had in his pocket at that given time.
39:14
So as if I kind of like did a magic trick and got his wallet multi tool,
39:19
you know, like he'd be concerned.
39:21
Like, how do you do that? Did you pick pocket?
39:22
You just be impressed, maybe it depends on your father.
39:25
My father would hit me
39:28
and then yours, which are by far the most interesting.
39:31
So to concern your dad, you would show him his diploma,
39:37
his college diploma.
39:38
Very concerning. Yeah.
39:40
He's like, I never used that a day in my life.
39:42
Yeah, I look how much I paid for it.
39:44
Yeah. And then you showed him a used apron with cocoa powder and flour on it.
39:49
He's like, oh, God, this guy's been making brownies.
39:52
Men don't deserve to be in the kitchen.
39:55
And then finally, the leg from A Christmas Story, the classic Christmas movie,
40:01
which is ironic because the dad in that one loved it.
40:05
Yeah, I was a little off the mark with that one.
40:06
Yeah, that one was a little bit.
40:08
It was a different category than I thought it was at that point.
40:10
Yeah. But maybe your dad would be concerned with it.
40:13
I don't know.
40:14
Never know. But I guess we come to the time
40:17
where we vote on who won this draft.
40:19
So this usually goes we each vote for each other, but you cannot vote for yourself.
40:24
And usually it comes out to one of us winning it.
40:27
So, Alan, you want to go first?
40:28
Who do you think won this draft?
40:30
I'm going to give it to Zach.
40:31
I liked his answers.
40:33
I also don't want Evan to win.
40:37
But, you know, I feel like if you showed
40:40
your dad a picture of you in not just underwear, just neon green,
40:45
exposing everything, I feel like that would frighten him.
40:49
Yeah, absolutely.
40:50
Neon green bong bikini.
40:53
That's right.
40:54
Add that with the bull testicles.
40:55
I mean, oh, I'm giving him these at the one time.
40:59
I guess you could, yeah.
41:02
Or they could be three separate instances.
41:04
But, you know, I think those two are very frightening.
41:08
It was the last one.
41:09
Things from his pocket.
41:10
No man will feel comfortable if they're being swindled.
41:13
No, pickpocketed.
41:15
That's right.
41:15
They don't lose masculinity.
41:17
They don't believe in magic.
41:19
They need to take that tomfoolery somewhere else.
41:22
It's not going to happen in my dad's household.
41:24
So I'm going to give it to Zach.
41:25
I think his choices were wise.
41:28
So wise.
41:30
I'm going to give my vote to Alan, you know,
41:33
out of all the things that could concern your father, I don't think really any of
41:38
Evan's a father that doesn't believe his son should bake and is scared of education.
41:46
It doesn't really make any sense.
41:48
So just the fact that Evan's picks were not on the mark.
41:51
I'm going to give it to Alan. My vote is Alan.
41:53
Well, look who has the power here.
41:56
Evan's either winning or he has the power in the vote.
41:58
No wonder he's on a high horse.
42:00
So I'm just going to have to go ahead and give it to Zach.
42:03
Yeah, sure.
42:04
His picks were good, but he also didn't
42:06
blatantly say that he didn't want me to win.
42:10
I got to say that drives half the vote to Zach.
42:13
Feeling a little overconfident there.
42:14
Probably probably should have held back on that one.
42:18
Don't tell the truth too much.
42:19
You know, that's that's the role.
42:21
This is all about telling the truth on everything.
42:24
Everything we say here is completely on transparency, honesty.
42:28
Listen, Saturday workers, we've never been dishonest.
42:30
Yeah, everything we say we do.
42:32
That's a QD guarantee. Yeah.
42:34
Stamp it. Stamp it, Evan. That's a QD guarantee.
42:36
But yeah, I'm going to have to go with Zach
42:37
because obviously of the Bay don't watch picture he had there in the green thong.
42:43
Yeah, that would scare.
42:44
I think that would scare just about anybody.
42:46
Yeah, that would send children running.
42:48
I don't show it to children that would get you arrested.
42:50
Put on a list and then you have to tell people you moved into a neighborhood.
42:53
Yeah, yeah.
42:55
Alone that would concern me as a father.
42:57
Yeah. Yeah. OK.
42:58
The bull testicle you'd be OK with, though.
43:00
It comes and goes. You know, that's just a part of the hey bull testicles do come
43:04
and go. Yeah, yeah.
43:07
That's a choice joke.
43:10
And then I mean, you put bull testicles on top of on top of sleight of hand.
43:16
Like, where did you learn that? Obviously not from him.
43:19
Yeah, he's upset about that.
43:20
He's going to be concerned.
43:21
You've been hanging out with the wrong people,
43:23
people with bull testicles and bikinis.
43:25
Well, listen, first of all, thank you all.
43:27
Thank you all for the vote.
43:29
I would like to thank just a few people.
43:31
First of all, my tailor, he did a great job fitting me today.
43:34
Is that your friend?
43:35
He well, yeah, well, yeah, my tailor.
43:38
Yeah, I have one friend named Taylor.
43:39
I call I take possession of him and then also the person that fits me for clothing.
43:45
He could not be here today, otherwise you would notice him inside my clothing.
43:48
But I would like to thank him for fitting me and making me feel well, well dressed.
43:52
But, you know, sometimes you're at the top
43:55
and sometimes you're in the valley and today I'm at the top of the mountain.
43:57
So thank you all.
43:58
I think this is your first W.
44:00
It is my first W.
44:01
We don't have to point that out, but it is my first.
44:03
A wins a win.
44:05
You always remember your first.
44:06
And we were here to watch it.
44:11
All right.
44:12
Well, guys, that was that was another fabulous draft.
44:15
I thought I was able to win it.
44:17
Yeah, Zach, congratulations on your victory.
44:20
Thank you. Finally win something.
44:21
Hey, you take it to victory is where you can get them.
44:24
That's right.
44:24
But anyways, we're going to move on to our next segment.
44:27
And it's going to be our Did you know segment?
44:30
Did you know?
44:32
Did you know?
44:34
Did you know that it's all right to wonder?
44:38
Did you know that it's all right to wonder?
44:42
There are all kinds of wonderful things in this world.
44:48
All right.
44:48
So the topic of Did you know for this week is going to be centered around clothing.
44:55
We're just going to give you just some basic facts about clothing,
44:58
things that everybody knows, things that some people know
45:02
and things that maybe nobody's ever heard of before.
45:07
But it's good.
45:08
We at Questionable Detailer want to give you facts, make you more knowledgeable,
45:11
maybe make you more interesting at like a party, you know, a soiree, if you will.
45:17
Maybe you can just spit some of these facts out.
45:19
Tell people these facts confidently.
45:21
You know, we're not a legal podcast, but we are an educational podcast.
45:25
That's right. That's right.
45:26
All right.
45:27
Starting it off, did you guys know that it
45:29
takes 700 gallons of water to make a cotton shirt?
45:33
That's impressive. I didn't know that, actually.
45:35
It's good to know.
45:36
It's quite a bit of water. Yeah.
45:37
Did y'all know that the average American throws about 82 pounds of clothes away a year?
45:44
It's a lot of waste.
45:46
What are we doing?
45:46
Those darn Americans.
45:48
Darn Americans.
45:49
Did you guys know that the most expensive
45:51
t-shirt was valued at four hundred thousand dollars and featured 16 diamonds?
45:55
Oh, my God.
45:56
That is interesting.
45:58
Very interesting.
45:59
Did y'all know that it's totally OK?
46:02
It's totally OK if you let another man enter your clothes with you.
46:06
It's totally OK.
46:08
And if you want to do that, you should not be judged and you should let it happen.
46:12
It's a beautiful thing.
46:13
Sounds more like an opinion, but OK.
46:15
It's a fact.
46:16
I'm reading it right here off our fact list.
46:18
Did you guys know that during the summer of 1982,
46:22
togas were incredibly popular for men just in everyday wear?
46:26
The that was that was soon ended because of winter.
46:33
Did y'all know in 1945 when America invaded Germany in World War Two
46:39
and when Hitler finally took his last breath after he killed himself,
46:42
he was wearing a pink crop top.
46:44
Oh, fashionable.
46:47
Talk about going out on top.
46:53
My grandfather actually told me he wore
46:55
a blue one in opposition to that as he stormed the beaches.
46:57
OK, yeah.
46:58
Well, very little, very little is known about what they were in World War Two.
47:02
They don't talk about it much.
47:04
You'll be you'll be amazed on how much skin was sewn.
47:07
Lot of crop tops.
47:09
More fishnet than you think.
47:14
Did you know that shoes can take up to a thousand years to break down?
47:20
That's actually very impressive.
47:22
But it only takes me about two minutes
47:25
to break down or to break down soon to break down.
47:31
Oh, like crying.
47:34
Yeah, emotionally, you break down emotionally.
47:41
Did you know Levi Strauss, the founder of Levi's Jeans,
47:46
received the patent for the iconic design with copper rivets in 1873?
47:50
The term jeans is believed to originate from the French phrase blue jeans,
47:54
which is what I did when I saw your mom.
48:03
The jeans.
48:08
Did you know the world record for the most T-shirts worn at once is two hundred
48:12
and fifty seven layers? Alan just calls that going to the tailor.
48:16
Alan's like, I just leaving Dillard's.
48:21
It's a good haul.
48:24
Did you all know that I actually look really good in a thong bikini?
48:32
You should get a picture of you.
48:33
Yeah, I will frame it.
48:34
Put it up in here in the studio.
48:36
Did you know in the eighteen seventeen,
48:39
eighteen hundreds, the American industries actually experimented with steel
48:43
for clothing, steel shirts, steel jackets were made.
48:47
But they found that it didn't leave much room or flexibility for enslaving people.
48:52
So
48:53
it's hard to enslave an entire race when you can't move.
48:56
Yeah.
48:58
Do you know that in twenty twenty two,
49:01
more men, more socks as underwear instead of boxers?
49:05
Man, the covid really screwed things up.
49:08
People didn't know what they were doing.
49:11
They're so sick.
49:13
They're so sick.
49:15
Did you know one in three hundred and fifty million Americans wears wet socks?
49:20
The bed. That's a fact.
49:22
I'm not weird.
49:24
Many more than you'd think.
49:27
One too many.
49:29
Did you know the world's longest wedding dress train measured over
49:34
one hundred and seventeen thousand two hundred and sixteen inches,
49:37
as my tailor would say,
49:39
or one point eight five miles, as I would say.
49:41
Yeah.
49:45
Well, you need to stop saying that.
49:49
Oh, there you go, guys.
49:51
Giving facts and information out to the world.
49:53
I don't think there's ever any other podcast that just gives out facts.
49:57
You know, that just informs people.
49:59
We have to be the only one that does that.
50:01
They tell them those those facts that everybody knows.
50:04
Yeah. I mean, we're going deep.
50:06
Not the underground facts.
50:08
You know, that you can't get on a Google image.
50:11
Yeah. The ones that don't see the sun.
50:13
Yeah. That's what we're here for.
50:14
Facts that nobody wants you to find out.
50:16
Evan, we're uncovering those.
50:18
Evan put it eloquently.
50:19
The facts that you find on like page forty six of a Google search.
50:23
Yeah, you know.
50:25
But, you know, we give out facts, but we also give out wisdom.
50:28
So traditional one liner wisdom for the Saturday workers.
50:32
What do you think? Covering yourself in a blanket can warm you for a night.
50:35
Lighting that blanket on fire while you're under it
50:38
can warm you for the rest of your life
50:41
because it will sever and burn all your nerve endings.
50:43
Yeah, you'll never feel another.
50:46
That's that's actually probably one of the most true facts we've ever said on here.
50:51
They say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree,
50:54
but a kid sure will, depending on how hard you throw him
50:58
out of the tree. Yeah.
51:01
Oh, man. Very violent wisdoms tonight, guys.
51:05
We're going through. Yeah.
51:06
You all feel it. OK, there's a certain vibe here tonight.
51:08
Yeah.
51:11
There you go. Wisdoms, facts and tailored outfits.
51:14
Where else can you get this?
51:16
That's all I'm saying.
51:17
But if you have a hypothetical that you want us to answer,
51:20
advice that you want us to give, we give great advice or you want to know a fact
51:24
about a certain subject, write in question will detour podcast at gmail.com.
51:28
All right, boys, you want to be done?
51:31
Hey, hey, Dad, I need to show you something.
51:35
Son, what do you this?
51:37
This better be something you're already disappointed.
51:42
I've known you for a long time, son.
51:45
Well, you're about to know me a lot better after I show you this.
51:49
Here is a framed
51:52
picture of me in a thong bikini.
51:53
Good God, you look like your mother.
52:02
Oh, I didn't show the testicles.
52:04
Thank you, Evan. You're here, too.
52:07
I'm just hiding back here. OK, OK.
52:08
I wish you'd just stop bringing that guy around.
52:13
Just your support group.
52:14
Yeah, he does good.
52:16
He's the one that took the picture.
52:18
Did you like the angle?
52:19
Was it the angle?
52:21
I don't think it was.
52:22
I think it was just me and a Victor.
52:24
Hey, Dad, here also is a freshly severed bull testicle.
52:28
You do this yourself.
52:31
Yeah, I did it. I did it myself.
52:33
God, you're a freak.
52:36
What's this? What's this other thing you got?
52:38
This better be better be good.
52:39
Oh, you knew you knew exactly.
52:41
There was three items.
52:42
You always you all good things always in three always do things in threes.
52:47
What you call you calls me and your mother's divorce.
52:51
Yeah, you broke my leg
52:55
and you ran off the family horse
52:59
and our bull is has one less testicle.
53:04
And then the final thing I want to show you is, hey, here's your multi-tool
53:08
and keys and what get out of my house.