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Stop Hiding: Awareness Is the Gateway to Change · The Mike Mack Show

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: We walked on hot poles and we stood on our chairs and we shook our fists and we were yelling and hollering and man we walked out of that seminar like wow this is amazing and we were motivated brother we were just we just I just knew man I was I was right and every day like kind of like air escaping from a balloon that motivation that I felt when I was at that boot camp just left me and before I knew it I was back to my same old bad habits Welcome to the Michael Max Show it is wonderful to have you with me today we're going to talk about how men hide how they hide from being out of shape how they're able to lie to themselves essentially and ignore that they've got a problem let me kind of talk about what happened with me when I was uh morbidly obese and I was morbidly obese.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: And when I talk to guys that I'm helping these days to get themselves in shape, this is very, very common.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: Men often delude themselves.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: And they know deep down that they're not their best selves.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: They know deep down that they don't have the kind of energy that they should.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: They know deep down that they need to change.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: In other words, they kind of secretly admit to themselves that there has to be a change, but they don't change.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: They hide.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: Here's what I mean.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: On vacations, for example, they don't want to have their pictures taken, or they're embarrassed by the pictures that they see.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: They avoid certain functions.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: I avoided going to, I'll never forget this.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't go to a father-daughter dance with my daughter, and to this day I feel terrible about that because I was, you know, 42-inch waist and embarrassed that I'd have to go dance with my daughter.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: So we avoid situations because our self-concept is not where it should be.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: And we go through life ignoring, maybe not ignoring, that's a that's the wrong choice of words, not acknowledging that a change must happen.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: The first step is awareness of self.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: Even if it's not, if it's kind of still not not real flattering, awareness of self.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: Awareness is the gateway to change.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: Let me give you an example of awareness and how powerful awareness is when you stop hiding from yourself.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: When I was doing my research for my book, Man Transformed, I came across a stunning study of obese people who were asked to do just one thing, one thing only.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: They were told they didn't have to count calories, and these are these were obese people, guys, people who are really grossly overweight.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: They were told they just had to do one thing.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: They didn't have to count calories, they didn't have they didn't have any food limitations.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing like that.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: They were asked to do one thing and one thing only.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: That was to write down every day, write it down on a piece of paper, what they were eating and when they were eating it.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: So in other words, if they were to woof down six donuts, they had to write it down at the time that they had six donuts, and they had to be very specific about it.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: I just had three jelly-filled and and and and three bavarian creams, uh, along with bacon and eggs or whatever.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: So they had to write down what they were eating and what they were drinking when they were eating and drinking.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: In other words, they they were forced to be aware.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: They couldn't lie to themselves, they couldn't hide.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: Here's what happened the majority of those obese people started to lose weight.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: Being forced to be aware of yourself is the driver for change.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: When you become aware, hey, there's a problem, it's a freeing experience, really.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: And it's difficult.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: I reached a stage where hey, I I had I had to face myself in the mirror.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: That's the first step to change.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: What I've noticed with guys that I coach, and I call it transformation, because transformation, and I talk about this all the time, and I'll talk about it till the end of my time here on earth, is more than physical.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: It is first getting your mind right.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: When you get your mind right, everything else falls into place.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: The physical follows the thoughts.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: The thoughts drive the physical.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: And what I hear from guys, and it it's it's really cool.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: They tell me when they're getting themselves in shape, Michael.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know that I would be more patient.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know that getting myself in shape would make me calmer with my children, with my wife.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know it would help me in ways that I didn't anticipate.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: Getting yourself in the best physical shape, your health, getting your health together, radiates into so many aspects, other aspects of your life than just having six-pack abs.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: That's fine looking your best.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: But what happens, guys, is when you look your best, your self-esteem improves.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: Your trust in yourself improves because you're making promises to yourself and you're fulfilling those promises.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: What happens is when you're out of shape and you're living this life of, you know, every day you're you know deep down that you can do better, but you don't.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: You know what happens to a lot of guys?
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: They become angry and they're not sure.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: They're angry at themselves, really, but that manifests itself towards others.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: And when you get yourself in shape, when you start to look your best, feel your best, have more energy, and take control of your life, essentially.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: You know, have those habits.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: That's when you start to be a better person towards others.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's when the anger dissipates, that's when you become more calm, more confident, a role model.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so the first step is to stop hiding, to be aware and say, okay, this is I'm now I'm aware of the fact that I'm not in shape.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm aware of the fact that I need to make some changes.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Awesome.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, brother, we've got the first step down.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: Now we can do it.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Now we'll take the next step.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the next step.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: Take two guys, for example, and one guy is on a diet, okay?
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: And he says to the other guy, they're at a party, hey, I can't wait from this diet to get through this diet, because um, I can now go back to eating.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: Basically, implied in that message is after he loses weight, he's gonna go back to being fat.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I don't believe in diets.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: That's for another episode.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: Diets are essentially worthless, in my opinion.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: You know, in a sustainable way, diets don't work.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: Some may there's exceptions, but for the most part, um, what you need to find is a lifestyle, not a diet.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: So it implied in that message, hey, I can't wait to get through this diet, is implied that he's gonna fall back on his old ways.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: What that man needs to do, and what we all need to do, is change our identity.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: You get some guy who's overweight, he he acknowledges he's overweight, okay, guys?
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: He stops hiding.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: And he says, Look, I'm tired of the world controlling me, affecting me.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm now gonna take action, I'm gonna control the world, I'm gonna take action on behalf of myself.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: He changes his identity.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: He says, I'm no longer obese.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: Even though he is maybe physically obese still, he says to himself, I am transformed, I am in shape.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, we can talk about this in another episode.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: We will.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: He writes down affirmations every day.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: I am transformed, I am muscular, I am lean, I am functional, I all these positive things, affirmations that you make about yourself that change your identity.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: And here's what happens when you change your identity up here, the physical follows.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's just it's it's axiomatic.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: It is a rule, an unbreakable rule, that your physical self follows your mind.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: And in some ways, your physical self affects your mind.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: The two work together, but it starts up here.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: And here's what happens.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: I've often said this motivation is not enough.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I once went to this uh motivational seminar, it was it was great with some guys, and you know, we walked on hot coals and we stood on our chairs and we shook our fists and we were yelling and hollering, and man, we walked out of that seminar like, wow, this is amazing.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: And we were motivated, brother.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: We were just, we just, I just knew, man, I was I was real.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: And every day, like kind of like air escaping from a balloon, that motivation that I felt when I was at that boot camp just left me.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: And before I knew it, I was back to my same old bad habits.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: Motivation doesn't last.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: Discipline is the key.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: How do you get discipline?
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: You have to change how you think.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: Arnold Schwarzenegger said this, this is a very good example of this, that he goes to the gym every day because that's how he identifies himself as.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: It is, as he said, like brushing his teeth.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: He said if it was the last day on earth, he would go to the gym because it's who he is.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: The discipline is ingrained in him, it's embedded in his mind.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: For me, I uh look, guys will say, hey, you've got so much willpower.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: How are you able to do this?
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's just part of who I am.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: And when I work with a guy, that is that is that is the challenge that we will accomplish together is to change your identity so you see yourself in a completely different light.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: You see yourself as a fit man, a transformed man.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: And once you do that, brother, we're off to the races, man.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: We are born again hard.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: We are getting to where we need to go and we do it.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: And then you don't need the motivation because that doesn't last.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: The discipline takes over because the discipline is triggered by how you see yourself.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: And once you convince yourself that you are a fit man, once you identify yourself that you are a fit man, those habits, those bad habits like sitting on the couch eating pizza, they become repulsive to you.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: They are not part of who you are.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: So when you stop hiding is the first step.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: Once you stop hiding, then you start acknowledging okay, I gotta make a change.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: You become aware.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: And then from there, the change is triggered.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: That's when your life changes.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: And again, it's not just about physical.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: The physical is fine, but it this transcends mere physical.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: This is about your life, about how you deal with others, how you're content to do you know to serve others.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: Your whole paradigm changes, guys, when you get yourself in shape.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's not just the mere physical.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: Look, I'm all into looking good, man.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm all into that.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: That's that's awesome, brother.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: Love yourself, look great, wonderful.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm all for it, man.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: But there's more to it.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: Keep that in mind.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: If you're one of those guys who who is hiding, stop hiding.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's a freeing experience.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: Come out.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: Come out from the wilderness into the light.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'm happy to talk with you if you need to talk about that more.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: God bless you all.