Latest / The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook / Rooted in Purpose: How Values Shape Holistic Therapy with Valerie Rivera

Transcript

Rooted in Purpose: How Values Shape Holistic Therapy with Valerie Rivera · The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook

0:00
Hello, Melissa Crook here. So happy to be here today with
0:03
you on the Field podcast. I am welcoming back a friend
0:07
that was with us a couple of years ago.
0:10
I believe it was season 4. I think that Valerie was with
0:15
us. I'm losing count of seasons now.
0:16
I think it was season 4. It was definitely spring two
0:19
years ago and we're bringing Valerie back because she's got
0:23
some more to share with us. She has got the next iteration
0:27
of what she is offering through her work in the therapeutic
0:32
world that and, and it kind of Hawaiian values into doing this
0:37
and taking this next step. It's really kind of been in her
0:40
planning and thinking all along. So we're super excited to bring
0:43
Valerie back. She had so much to offer us the
0:46
first time around. You hear me quoting her all the
0:49
time. And so it'll be great to bring
0:52
her back and, and for an update and a new visit.
0:54
And she's got a whole new round of wisdom to share with us
0:58
today. But as we give you some ways to
1:01
engage, this is how we're thinking.
1:04
This might be really supportive for you going into this
1:06
conversation. And it's to take some time to
1:09
reflect. Maybe even try writing
1:12
reflections down in a notebook. Reflect upon your health,
1:16
comparing where you were before and where you are now and before
1:22
might be, you know, if you've been tracking certain things in
1:25
your fitness or in your diet or blood work or just in general.
1:31
It doesn't have to have any specific marker type to it, but
1:35
but reflect upon that or what would you like to improve and
1:39
how can you identify some ways to do that And don't miss the
1:44
wins in this, you know. So identify what is improved and
1:48
as well as what you want to improve upon.
1:51
Don't be too hard on yourself. Like I said, celebrate even the
1:55
smallest of wits. Remember to give yourself grace
1:58
as you move through your journey towards a healthier lifestyle.
2:03
We hope this gives you some things to think about, not only
2:05
today's you're listening to the episode, but as you're going
2:08
through your week, as you're taking that time for yourself to
2:11
make sure that you are treating yourself with the value that you
2:16
deserve and carving out the space for you that you deserve.
2:19
Take good care of yourselves and enjoy this second episode with
2:23
our good friend Valerie Rivera. We appreciate you being with us.
2:43
Hello and welcome back to the Field Podcast this week.
2:46
I've got a a returning friend with us here today and you all,
2:50
if you've been listening to me at all the last couple of years,
2:53
I have probably referenced some quotes from Valerie's first
2:58
episode with us two years ago more than any other.
3:01
Guests that I have. Quoted because she said
3:04
something so important that the many things.
3:06
But one thing that really, really stuck with me that was
3:10
simple but yet complex. And we'll talk about that in a
3:14
in a moment. But Valerie Rivera is back here
3:17
with me today. She describes herself as full of
3:21
determination, curiosity, and how resiliency has been a
3:25
foundation for her through the different seasons she's gone
3:29
through in life and challenges she's faced.
3:32
But I'm so thankful and grateful to have Valerie back with me
3:35
today. Welcome.
3:36
Welcome back to the Field podcast.
3:38
I'm so excited to be back. I remember the first time that
3:42
we were doing this podcast recording together, you know,
3:45
and as I reflect on over the years, the changes that I have
3:49
endured and that I've gone through personally and
3:51
professionally, it's kind of kind of been like.
3:54
A roller coaster, but a good one.
3:56
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.
3:57
That's part I told Valerie before we started recording.
4:00
I wanted to bring her back because I feel like the things
4:03
we're going to talk about today and the new season that she's in
4:07
is so reflective of life, especially how it came up and
4:11
the things that really resonated with her, knowing that this was
4:14
the next right thing for her to do and pursue.
4:18
And it it's there's just going to be a lot of reminders, I
4:21
think within it. And we're going to reflect back
4:23
on what we shared, she shared with me a couple years ago.
4:26
And we're going to talk about where she is today and what
4:28
she's learned since then. So we're going to visit with our
4:32
old friend, but good friend self-care to start out with
4:36
first. And you know, we talked about
4:38
this a couple years ago. You talked about that your
4:42
clients, you ran into your clients feeling like this was
4:46
selfish a lot. That is a common theme with
4:49
women. It is 1.
4:50
I feel like we're fed from a very early age at, you know,
4:54
collectively, but then you also, you know, you pointed out the
4:58
things that are that you do to care for yourself, the haircuts,
5:02
the, the massages, the manis and the pettys, But you also brought
5:07
up some really important ones that I think are like self-care
5:11
is healthcare and that means good sleep and fueling your body
5:14
well and enjoying your food. I mean, you're a foodie.
5:17
You want to enjoy your food and the fact that you can feel
5:20
yourself in a healthy way and, and, and enjoy that and have
5:23
that be part of, of your journey.
5:25
So what in moving your body? You mentioned that piece too,
5:29
Just moving your body in that way.
5:31
So talk to me about what you've learned since we talked about
5:36
that last time, and how self-care serves.
5:39
You today, yeah. While still doing.
5:42
It's so funny that you mentioned like the massages and the
5:44
haircuts and the mayonnaise and all of those, you know, really
5:47
basic foundations for myself. Just got all of this done within
5:50
the last two weeks, so still doing all of those things.
5:54
When we when? We think about, like, exercising
5:58
and we think about our basic fundamentals, right?
6:00
Exercising, Yeah. Fueling our bodies, sleeping.
6:05
I have wrestled with those myself.
6:07
You know, just like, as a human over the the past few years,
6:10
I've wrestled with them. I kind of had like an up and
6:14
down battle with how I sleep and how I nourish my body and how I
6:18
move my body. And it looks really different
6:20
from when I talk to you there, there one, it's, you know, I'm,
6:26
I'm aging, of course, right? So there with aging comes
6:28
different, different challenges. And most recently, I went to the
6:32
doctor and I literally walked in and I said, OK, like, tell me
6:36
all the disaster that is going on, internally, right?
6:40
And I think that that really spoke to me in regards of the
6:44
different ways that I need to care for myself than what I did
6:48
for myself even two years ago, you know, and I have to be
6:51
reflective of what my body is, is asking for and how I need to
6:56
adjust or adapt to some of those ways in which my body is
7:01
speaking to me. Because if I exercised in the
7:04
same way I did 10 years ago, I probably wouldn't be in the, in
7:09
the same position that I am now, right?
7:11
I wouldn't be listening to my body in the way that it's trying
7:14
to speak to me. So it's been, it's been a, it's
7:16
been a challenge. You know, it definitely has, but
7:18
it doesn't mean that I have. Stepped away from some of those
7:22
things for myself. I love the adjustment piece.
7:25
I think this is a really important piece and I had to do
7:27
the same thing too. I was like I got to 45 and all
7:31
of a sudden my metabolism crashed and all of a sudden my
7:35
body was responding differently to.
7:37
Foods. Than it had before and I was
7:41
like what is happening here now? I will tell you up to that
7:45
point, for me personally, I had always moved my body.
7:49
Well, I was an I was an avid runner.
7:51
Moving my body was a very important part of myself care.
7:55
Because of that, I was able to, for a lot of years, kind of get
8:00
away with eating whatever I wanted to.
8:03
And then I could just run it off later or add an extra mile or do
8:07
something. And all of a sudden, at 45, my
8:08
body's like, no, no, no, we don't.
8:11
Work that way anymore. We did not do that anymore, but
8:14
it forced me to really stop. And you said something so
8:16
important. Pay attention.
8:18
Pay attention to those bodies cues.
8:21
Something's out of alignment. We need to make an adjustment.
8:24
Doesn't mean we abandoned practices, but we need to change
8:28
them and meet our bodies where they are today.
8:31
So thank you so much for addressing that.
8:34
What was that was how what is probably the biggest adjustment
8:38
then besides that, being in tune because all of a sudden when
8:41
your body starts giving you messages, it's really easiest
8:44
for us to go down the route. Oh gosh, my body's letting me
8:47
down instead of no, my body's trying to tell me that she needs
8:50
something different. From me now.
8:51
So talk about that. Too, I think it's almost like a
8:56
grieving process that you go through because when you're so
8:59
used to doing things a certain way and all of a sudden your
9:02
body's communicating something differently or it's asking for
9:05
something differently to let go of what you are familiar with is
9:08
really difficult. And so, you know, waking up at
9:12
4/30, 5:00 in the morning to go to a class at 5:30 may have been
9:17
easier for me two years ago. And we're now it's like, well, I
9:20
really have to re prioritize, advertise my sleep because I
9:25
don't have the same level of energy that I did even two years
9:28
ago, right? So.
9:30
The best way that I can describe that is reflecting on where you
9:34
were then versus where you are now.
9:37
And it doesn't mean that it's gonna be, It doesn't mean that
9:42
it has to change for the worse, right?
9:44
It means that this is the new direction in which your body,
9:48
your mind is taking you to, and you're going to be able to
9:50
explore something different for yourself that brings you a sense
9:55
of contentment in a different way.
9:57
Yeah, that's a great way to to explain that.
10:00
And and we'll talk about that more when we get to the
10:02
emotional, mental, physical health piece.
10:04
But but but also too, I would imagine this created a new, you
10:09
know, you might have to maybe rethink your healthy boundaries
10:12
and the boundaries you put around how you feel yourself,
10:15
how you move yourself, adjusting those things.
10:18
That's something I know, you know, it might have been, you
10:21
know, more protein, more fiber, less of this kind of, you know,
10:26
and looking at my macros, you know, all those kinds of that's
10:29
for me what I've gone through. But also just like, OK, those
10:33
things, I cannot have a drink after 7:30 anymore or this mom
10:37
is not sleeping Like, you know, that's.
10:41
Just not. And that's how.
10:43
You know, so talk to me about the boundaries, but also too you
10:46
have this new venture, your child's getting older.
10:49
I mean, there I think it's, you know, so talk to me about that
10:53
reassessment because that the quote that I was talking about
10:56
earlier that I have quoted from you 5,000,000 times because it's
10:59
so good is whatever you're saying yes to?
11:03
Remember that means you're saying no to something else and
11:06
you better be OK with that thing you're saying no to.
11:08
I cannot tell you, Valerie. I probably should have had you
11:12
patent that or something. You could be making money off me
11:14
right now. I quoted that so many times.
11:19
So talk to me about that piece of the journey.
11:23
Well, there's been various phases in my life that I've gone
11:28
through where I have needed to reprioritize a lot of times,
11:33
right? A lot of things.
11:34
And I've needed to and, and there have been moments in which
11:37
I have said yes to certain things and then have realized
11:41
that that's not in alignment with my values in the moment.
11:47
And so then I've had to go back on that.
11:49
I've had to backtrack. And a lot of the times, you
11:51
know, people say like you are, if you are a person of your
11:55
word, then you have a strong foundation to stand on that
11:58
other people will. It's essentially building a
12:02
trust factor with people. However, if I don't allow myself
12:08
to change my mind, if I don't allow myself to backtrack and
12:10
say something different, then I'm not being true to myself,
12:13
right? I'm essentially, I am
12:16
essentially meeting everybody elses needs and expectations.
12:19
And so that goes against me and that will create even more
12:22
internal dysregulation that I am willing to live through.
12:26
And so the phases that I've gone through is, of course, being
12:31
married, you know, before my son came along and my husband and I
12:36
had 10 years without a child. And that was great because we
12:40
got to experience life in a different way.
12:42
But when a child comes on board, it's like really needing to
12:45
reevaluate how we're going to do life.
12:47
And yeah, my son is getting older.
12:49
He's 8, going to be 9 soon. And he comes with a lot.
12:52
He comes with his own schedule, you know.
12:54
Oh yeah. He has his own things going on,
12:58
but I think what's been helpful in allowing me to be in a place
13:02
with him, to give back to him, was that my husband and I did
13:06
have a lot of good years alone, you know, together.
13:10
And we have always made it a point to say, well, he he is
13:14
going to be our priority because that's, that's essentially how
13:18
we're going to give back to our family, you know?
13:20
Yeah. Which means that that's going to
13:22
change a lot of how I do things for myself, right?
13:26
I choose to go do my hair. When I choose to go get my nails
13:29
done, when I choose to give back to myself, it's going to be in a
13:33
way that doesn't take away from him.
13:36
Yeah. Yeah.
13:37
So it's a lot of adaptations, of course, you know.
13:41
Yeah, but it you, but you still like this is important.
13:45
You still make the space for that.
13:47
I think so many times as women, we will put aside the self-care
13:52
and not like continue to like, OK, I can, I can work around
13:56
this because you said this before.
13:58
And you know, when you have a field cut, you know, when you've
14:01
taken that time to care for yourself, you are more fresh,
14:06
authentic on prepared to show up as your best, healthiest self
14:11
when you take the time to do that.
14:13
And so I'm so glad you spoke about.
14:15
It's like, no, I still don't lose things.
14:17
There's just, we look at the schedule differently and we work
14:19
around in a way that it works and doesn't interfere here and,
14:23
but also works for me. But we don't give that up.
14:25
We don't put that push that aside because I still know that
14:29
that is foundational to me showing up as my healthiest
14:33
version of myself for myself and for for my family and and those
14:37
I serve my clients. Yeah, absolutely.
14:40
Yeah. I would not be able to give back
14:43
to my clients. I mean, you know, sitting.
14:45
In A room. With clients, day in and day out
14:48
takes a lot of emotional capacity, a lot of mental
14:54
capacity, right? I, I can have this really big
14:57
window of emotional and mental capacity for them and that
15:01
starts to dwindle as the day goes on.
15:03
So by the time I get home, I have to find a new way to
15:06
regenerate some of that for my family.
15:09
Sure. I would say that that's been a
15:11
challenge. You know, even just as a
15:12
therapist in practice for a while, like that still continues
15:15
to be something that I have to be intentional about.
15:19
So giving back to them, giving back to myself, I have to be
15:22
intentional about that. Yeah, yeah, I talk a lot about.
15:25
I've had a few guests that talk about, you know, on my drive
15:28
home, I decompress. I listen to my favorite music,
15:31
my favorite podcast or nothing. I, I do, I listen to nothing or
15:35
I pull into the garage or the driveway and I sit there for 5
15:38
to 15 minutes and deep breathe and just prepare myself for that
15:44
next part of the day, that next chapter I'm going into that's
15:48
going to be at maybe as demanding, but in a different
15:51
way. But though, but I want to make
15:53
sure I show up fresh. So yeah, those moments matter.
15:56
And, and we want our people to remember us in a, in a, a way
16:02
that doesn't feel like they were getting the last ounce of what
16:05
we had to get that, that we were present with them.
16:08
So thank you so much for that. I think that's so important to
16:11
remember. All right, taking care of our
16:14
emotional health, mental health, physical health, you are very
16:18
aware of these practices. They're a a major component in
16:23
this new portion, this of your chapter where you're taking your
16:29
business now where it's beyond therapy practices.
16:34
There's more to it than that. And it really tends to the whole
16:38
person, their whole health, which is, you know, such a
16:42
powerful thing. I think for you as a
16:44
practitioner, a healthcare practitioner or a mental health
16:48
practitioner model that I'm in the business of healthcare.
16:51
We and we're addressing the whole person here.
16:56
Talk to me about and you have a beautiful story and and
17:00
beautiful in complexity. You know, the, the day that you
17:03
found out about receiving the grant and being able to move
17:07
forward with this project was it was a dual edged sword day for
17:11
you. You were mourning the
17:12
anniversary of the loss of a loved one and, and having that
17:17
all come together and come full circle.
17:20
But when was that moment that you determined I want to address
17:24
the whole person, not and, and and, and go beyond what we are
17:31
doing here from a therapy practice standpoint?
17:34
My vision to create a Wellness space for clients has been
17:41
something that I've always imagined.
17:44
You know, I have this notebook that I always reflect on, I
17:48
refer to every now and then. And it was this notebook was,
17:53
was dated back in 2017. So this is when I still had my
17:56
full time job at, you know, one of the local universities.
18:00
And in that notebook, I started writing down all my ideas,
18:04
right? Mind, body Wellness, how to
18:05
connect the mind, the emotional aspect of it with the physical
18:09
aspect of it. And so this, this has been
18:12
something that I've imagined for myself and for the community
18:15
since 2017, right? And it's just taken this long to
18:21
be able to actually put that into fruition.
18:24
Now when I started my private practice, I was still working
18:27
full time for the local university and and it was.
18:31
Through. That, you know, working part
18:34
time in my private practice, that it took probably a good
18:38
three years to even leave my full time job because there was
18:41
a lot of insecurities, there was a lot of fear surrounding that.
18:45
And then finally I just said, OK, like I think I'm good.
18:48
I think I can do it on my own. And most recently, there was an
18:54
opportunity within my community to apply for a grant that
18:57
allowed the expansion of your current business.
19:01
And I said, well, I'm, I'm gonna, I'm gonna do it with the
19:03
help of the local Small Business Administration here.
19:07
My community, they kind of helped me create a good business
19:11
plan. And I applied and I was one of,
19:14
I think 1 of 10 or one of 15 people that received the grant.
19:18
Wow, yeah, that happened. I applied for it back in October
19:22
of 2024 and I remember calling in November cuz they said
19:28
probably around November you'll find out.
19:29
I called in November and they're like no, the holidays.
19:32
And then I called in December and no, not yet.
19:35
And then they said sometime in January.
19:38
And as you mentioned, my father passed away in January of 2024
19:43
unexpectedly. So that was, you know, the
19:45
grieving process have been year long, you know, just ongoing.
19:50
And that day of his anniversary, I didn't think I was going to
19:57
have like the big emotional reactions that I did.
20:01
Thankfully, I did not have any clients scheduled.
20:03
That day was on a Friday and anymore we don't see clients on
20:05
Fridays. So I got suspended at home.
20:07
But I woke up and I was just like crying and crying.
20:11
I was like, Oh my gosh, OK, this is like still part of the
20:14
grieving process, right? And around noontime I remember I
20:19
received a notification and it said you know the tagline or the
20:23
the subject line was. Like congratulations or
20:26
something. So when I opened it up, I'm
20:28
literally crying as I'm opening this e-mail.
20:32
And it was, yeah, congratulations.
20:34
You have been one of the candidates that has been
20:35
selected to receive this $15,000 grant to pursue the expansion of
20:39
your business. In that moment, I thought, OK,
20:42
this this has to be right. Like, I'm, I believe that the
20:46
universe works in mysterious ways.
20:47
I believe that the universe sends the signs and signals and
20:51
I just truly believe that this was part of my father's presence
20:55
to say like, you know, even though I'm not there with you,
20:59
you are still able to continue to pursue the different dreams
21:03
and the different aspirations that you have.
21:05
And so I'm proud of you. Congratulations and and move
21:08
onward. Wow.
21:10
I love that. And and I think that that is
21:13
such a classic example of the nuance of life.
21:16
You're in this moment of grief, you're waking up and it's
21:19
hitting you a little unexpectedly because and I, and
21:22
I have more to say about that a minute because I think it you
21:25
come from a very different lens, being having the therapist
21:29
background and knowing, you know, how the mind works and how
21:33
we and emotions work, but also then being in it yourself
21:36
personally. And it's like grief is a tricky
21:39
sister. I mean, she shows up in
21:44
unexpected ways and unexpected times and you might think you've
21:47
moved forward in a way. And I've learned that it's just
21:50
you learn to live with it. You don't get over it.
21:53
You, you know, and we in 2023, we last might both might in laws
21:58
within a 5 month period and one was more expected, the other one
22:02
was not. And so it hit my poor husband
22:07
and daughters and not to mention me, I was close with him too.
22:11
Like a truck. I mean, it was just And so
22:14
learning, you know, so you so that's a whole process when
22:17
going through that, moving through your life in a way and
22:20
still giving that room to do what it needs to do.
22:23
But then to have this thing that you have been in pursuit of and,
22:28
and, and have been writing about and thinking about and dreaming
22:31
that come together in that day, that is life.
22:34
That is the nuance of life that you can, you can have grief and
22:37
joy and contentment and peace and unexpected all in the same,
22:45
all in the same period of time. And I, I thought that was like,
22:48
wow, that was just such a, an example.
22:51
And you, when you shared it in your newsletter, I was, I, I,
22:53
that's when I reached out to you immediately.
22:55
I'm like, Oh my gosh, we got to talk about this.
22:58
Come back and talk to me because again, I love that.
23:01
But also for you too, if you don't mind, talk to me about
23:05
that grief piece. Did it help having the therapy
23:09
background to know how to walk it out?
23:11
Or was there even things within it that was like, Dang, this is
23:15
really not what I expected or more challenging than I
23:19
anticipated? You know, I think having doing
23:25
this work is helpful. Sure.
23:29
I think, I think that I can know things.
23:34
But when you experience it for yourself, it's a different
23:38
story. You know, my father is the first
23:41
person that I've lost that has been really close to me, that
23:44
has hit me as hard as it has, you know, Right.
23:49
I did lose my mother when I was a child, but that that just
23:53
didn't hit the same way. You know, I was a child and it
23:55
was very different, you know, about 7 years old or so.
23:59
And so I think having the background helps.
24:04
I think going through the process, though, I had to
24:06
continuously remind myself that this is part of the grieving
24:08
process. Yeah.
24:10
Not only that, but holding space for myself while also holding
24:14
space for my client that are growing similar things.
24:18
Yes. That was also hard, right?
24:20
Because it's one thing when you have to really hold space for
24:25
them, but when you have to compartmentalize your own stuff,
24:28
your own personal journey, It it that was, that was difficult.
24:32
You know, I I had some really difficult situations in which I
24:37
had to remind myself that it's OK to feel what I'm feeling, you
24:41
know, and that I too am human going through similar situations
24:47
while not projecting my own hurt into my client space.
24:54
Yeah. You know, it's like a lot of
24:56
movie pieces. It's like, OK, like how much can
24:58
I share? How much can I, you know, and
25:00
why am I sharing? You know, if I, if I ever shared
25:02
like, yeah, you know, like a me too kind of situation.
25:04
Like I like I, I can personally understand what you're going
25:08
through. How much of that was for them
25:10
versus for me? You know, I have to be really,
25:13
really clear about that for myself and my clients.
25:16
Yeah, I, that was my, my is that capacity piece.
25:19
And, you know, where's my capacity?
25:21
Do I need talk about seasons sometimes, you know, do I need
25:24
to make adjustments? Can I take as many clients a day
25:27
right now before my capacity is different and being like just
25:31
being open and, you know, willing with yourself to be
25:34
like, I'm going to have to give myself time here.
25:36
And I think that we, you know, I use the example because you do
25:39
have a very a job that you've got to be very mindful of
25:43
emotional and mental capacity because of the kinds of things
25:48
you're hearing from people. But that's true.
25:50
I think across the board whenever we're going through
25:52
grief is really minding and managing ourselves in a way is
25:57
like, I'm going to need to give myself a little more grace and
26:00
space this time. Grief is always a things
26:04
something people like, oh, I don't want to talk about grief,
26:06
but it's like, yeah, we got to talk about it.
26:08
It's a part of life and having, you know, having tools and
26:12
resources and just mindfulness for yourself as you're walking
26:18
it out, you know, and what you can it's and what you can show
26:21
up in as well as possible within this moment is such an important
26:25
piece of it. Yeah, and you just never know,
26:28
right as you're going through grief, you just never know how
26:30
it's going to hit you, when it's going to hit you.
26:32
And you know, you, you mentioned taking time or how many clients
26:36
and what level of capacity I'm in.
26:38
I took two weeks off and I, you know, I probably should have
26:40
taken more time off. When I did come back though, I
26:43
took limited amount of of clients in because I just wanted
26:47
to kind of get back into the groove of, of things.
26:50
I would say it probably took me a good month to get back into
26:54
the level of sustainability. You know, that was reflective of
26:58
the way I was working before in my father, sure, but but it was
27:02
difficult. You know, you could even, it's
27:04
even reflective in like my reports when I looked at the
27:06
month of January, the month of February, it's like, OK, you
27:09
know, maybe the amount of work that I did isn't what shows for
27:14
2024, But I also have to remind myself, wait, you are not in the
27:17
same mental and emotional space that you were in 2024 during
27:21
that time, Right, right. Having a lot of grace and
27:23
compassion for myself. And like I said, it's been a
27:26
year long journey. You know, there, there were
27:29
times where I'd look at the, you know, I'd be driving and I'd
27:31
look at the time and I'd be like, Oh, you know, let me call
27:33
dad to see what he's doing. And I'm like, oh, like, I can't
27:36
do that. You know, that that's not
27:37
possible. And so a year I, I told my
27:40
clients this like there there's going to be a any time there's
27:44
huge change in your life, expect that, that the grieving process
27:48
will last about a year because there's going to be first for
27:51
everything. Yeah, first, first holidays, you
27:55
know, birthdays, Christmas, Easter, all of the first without
27:58
this person in your life, whether that's through a
28:01
breakup, death, whatever that looks like.
28:03
And so pretty much it's been a a good year worth of grieving the
28:07
loss of my father. Yeah, yeah, I, I think that's
28:11
such a good point of getting through those first and then all
28:13
of a sudden, you know, I, we found that when we got to the
28:16
second year, it didn't necessarily hit us in the moment
28:20
like it did. The year before.
28:22
Like we recognized it was coming.
28:23
We even said a week out, oh, this this 2nd anniversary is
28:27
coming. And then it was two days after
28:29
the anniversary. I'm like, oh, that happened.
28:32
And and different ones of us in the family had different ways of
28:35
honoring that. But yeah, yeah.
28:36
I think just giving yourself that grace and that patience and
28:39
the time and and also too, I think when you go through
28:42
something that that it does create a different level of
28:45
empathy when you're dealing with people that are walking through
28:49
it their first time, you know, you have a different level.
28:52
You might have a, a better insight what you as a therapist,
28:56
obviously, but just in life, when we have friends and
28:58
coworkers and other people is like, you know, I'm going to
29:01
give them a little more grace and space right now or be
29:05
mindful of ways that maybe I can support them because I've been
29:08
there and I know that this can be difficult and tricky and
29:11
unpredictable. So thank you for being willing
29:13
to share on that, because I think it's an important topic
29:16
that we that is part of life. But again, people get because
29:20
it's tough it, you know, or we're a little more cringy
29:23
about, you know, talking about, but it's such an important part
29:26
of our mental emotional, you know, physical health journey.
29:30
All right, how we can support ourselves and other women in
29:34
living unapologetically. You really do this well just by
29:38
the way you live. And there was a couple of
29:40
examples you shared the last time we were together.
29:42
And you talked a lot about being your own cheerleader, not being
29:46
afraid to celebrate your wins. But you also talked about the
29:50
importance of, you know, the time that you mentioned another
29:54
woman's name to someone that would be a good fit.
29:58
I think it was for an article. And she was so appreciative of
30:01
the fact that you're like, thank you for mentioning me,
30:04
mentioning my name in a room of possibilities and opportunities.
30:10
I, you know, I really appreciate that.
30:11
So you, you have have a really good grasp on both.
30:16
Celebrate your wins, celebrate yourself.
30:18
Don't be afraid to be your own cheerleader and also the others
30:23
as well. Talk to me about, you know, kind
30:26
of where that burst from and, and if you learned anything
30:30
since we talked last about that piece.
30:33
Yeah, You know, as you're talking about that today, I
30:36
actually went to a luncheon. It's a it's an organization for
30:42
women business and women in business that speak about
30:47
championing other women, right? And I took a picture with one of
30:52
them that I met through this organization.
30:55
And the caption that I put was she's a girl's girl.
31:01
And I kind of stepped back and I thought about like, what does
31:04
that really mean though? She's a girl's girl, right?
31:06
And it means like she champions for other women.
31:09
She is a support for other women.
31:11
She will say your name in a room full of opportunities so that
31:15
you can excel so that she's always like she's been like a a
31:20
nice cheerleader to have in my corner.
31:23
But if I will be really vulnerable and transparent right
31:28
now, that was not always me. I had to learn how to do that
31:31
that game. You know, that was not always me
31:33
because it came from a place of insecurity from my own childhood
31:36
experiences. I had to learn how and even
31:41
still, right, like Even so there's days sometimes I, I get
31:43
a little insecure around other women that have big
31:48
personalities or that are doing really big things because it
31:52
says something about me and how I, I tend to shrink into myself
31:56
every now and then, right? So I've had to learn how to do
32:00
that by surrounding myself with women that have supported me
32:04
through the process. And if I really look in, you
32:08
know, if I really look to the corner of all of my my friends,
32:12
all of my cheerleaders, those are the people that I needed to
32:16
help me get to a place in where I'm at mentally and emotionally.
32:20
You know, they have really been a strong foundation of support
32:26
for me. And anytime I say, I want to do,
32:29
you know, this big project, instead of saying no, that
32:33
sounds way out of league or that sounds way out of like your
32:36
capacity, instead they're like, how can we help you do that?
32:39
Like I don't need to be a part of that, you know, And so I, I
32:45
think I, I am thankful to have come across a lot of these women
32:51
that are in my corner because they've taught me how to
32:54
champion for other women, how to be a girl's girl, you know, and
32:58
that's not always, you know, I, I have to be transparent.
33:00
That's not always my insecurities tend to get the
33:03
best of me sometimes and they show up and I have to, I have to
33:07
think about how I'm going to work through those insecurities
33:10
because it's not about them. It's about me.
33:12
Yeah, yes, that. And I think, I think always
33:16
remembering that comes back to us.
33:17
And if something angsty is coming up and it's just like,
33:20
all right, what needs to be addressed here?
33:22
What's what's, what's, what needs to be impacted a little
33:25
bit. But also too, I think the
33:26
importance of surrounding yourselves with women that are
33:29
for you, with women that have your back that you feel safe
33:33
with. And but they're also going to
33:36
challenge you because you know that if you're getting a little
33:40
too comfortable or they're they're going to, you know, be
33:42
your biggest supporter. But also, I think you've got
33:45
more in you than that. Or I think you've got this
33:48
capability that maybe you're not seeing in yourself.
33:51
That's so powerful. And when we as women can do that
33:55
versus seeing each other as the competition and having this
33:58
scarcity mindset, which nobody wins with, we do not, we do not
34:04
change the narrative. We do not move barriers by going
34:07
this alone and trying to kick other women out of the way.
34:10
We got to do it together. So thank you for that example of
34:14
and also be just being real with ourselves about there's some
34:17
areas that I still bump into some old narratives and some old
34:21
insecurities that I that I have to be aware of and be mindful of
34:25
and, and make sure that I'm bringing those back home to me
34:29
instead of looking outward, you know, into why I've had this
34:34
certain person or her, the way she presents is impacting me.
34:38
I think that's a real vulnerable thing that we all have to kind
34:41
of confront sometimes. But thank you for sharing that.
34:44
So, so important in our journey as we continue to learn and
34:48
evolve and grow in this space of because that's not again, it
34:52
goes back to these old narratives and even especially
34:54
when you get into business and those kinds of things.
34:57
We've been set up over generations to compete against
35:00
each other for that one spot at the table.
35:03
Instead of seeing the power in the more of a show up and do
35:06
well, the more room it creates because the more opportunities
35:10
are out there because they see what we're capable of and what
35:13
we can do. And that's your example is such
35:17
an important part of that that piece.
35:20
Yes, you know, the, the luncheon that I went to today was a
35:23
commissioner and a mayor that sat on the panel.
35:26
And one of the things that I believe it was the mayor that
35:29
said she's the first Latina mayor in, I don't know, I think
35:36
like 27 years or something, first female Latina mayor right
35:40
in her city. And she said, like, I am
35:43
essentially paving the road for the next woman that's going to
35:48
walk in and take my place. And I thought that was really
35:51
powerful to be able to recognize that you, we cannot do things
35:56
just for ourselves, right? Like, selfishly we do.
35:59
Primarily we we may, but secondary always has to be about
36:03
how else are you going to create a space big enough for other
36:07
women to be part of whatever history we're trying to make?
36:12
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
36:14
That peeving the opportunity of opening that door, you know, and
36:18
and I love that so much. Thank you for that.
36:20
All right, you, I have a very close connection with this and
36:24
you speak to this so well. But the importance in the role
36:28
that coming back to your why and your values and everything you
36:31
do plays in your life. This is a very, this is a core
36:35
principle of yours. And I mean, your values are
36:38
posted in your business. I mean, this is of something you
36:41
really take seriously. You revisit your why.
36:44
Talk to me about how that has continued to grow and evolve
36:50
over time, and if there's a new set of why and values as you
36:55
take on this new adventure, or if it's just more of the same
36:57
and an expansion. Of them, my wife or my business
37:02
has always been about me having the flexibility to tend to my
37:08
son right to my family. And that remains my wife.
37:11
Even up until this point, it's been about saying yes to him in
37:16
whatever capacity he needs me at and whether it's to attend an
37:19
award, you know, assembly and go to, you know, Kite Day, like all
37:23
of those things, it's it's not going to mean the same.
37:26
I think what has been added to that is the expansion of where
37:32
I'm going with my business is about creating lifelong
37:37
sustainability, whether that's financially, whether that's a
37:41
legacy, right, that I'm creating for myself, primarily for my
37:46
son, for my husband, whatever that looks like.
37:48
So I think this expansion, again, I think I think big
37:52
right. And I, I tell this to one of my
37:55
friends that, well, she she was my business coach, turned into
37:58
one of my friends and continues to be my business coach every
38:01
now and then, right? But I tell her like, I have such
38:05
big ideas, like I dream so big, but the execution of some of
38:11
these things gets the best of me, right?
38:13
Because I'm like, OK, like. And she tells.
38:15
Me all the time. She's like stop running towards
38:17
the shiny things. Like what's 1 shiny thing
38:19
you're? Going to run to pick.
38:20
One, because then I overwhelm myself.
38:23
But I think, I think because I come from like my childhood
38:29
filled with poverty, right? And, and that in itself is
38:34
traumatic when you think about like financial resources and,
38:38
and I, I think so big because this is a life that I want to
38:42
build for the next generation, which is my son.
38:47
And so I think at first it was more about flexibility to be in
38:50
tune with him. And now the expansion is more
38:53
about creating a lifelong legacy and found a financial foundation
39:00
for my son. You know, at least that's the
39:02
hope. Yeah.
39:03
And I think when you grow up in poverty, I had AI had a call
39:08
with a woman the other day who had a similar story.
39:12
And the motivator that can be, but it's a tricky balance
39:17
because there's also, I don't think we realized the mental,
39:20
emotional traumatic impact that can have as a driver.
39:25
And so being able to like unpack those things and keep your your
39:29
why and your values authentic to you in a healthy way.
39:33
But also classic example of how something can motivate you to do
39:38
some great things, but also tending to the parts of it that
39:40
were hard and not allowing that to continue to impact you in an
39:45
unhealthy way. Can you talk about that a little
39:47
bit? Because I think that's an
39:48
important piece that we miss sometimes when we watch people
39:52
after coming from a background where there was a scarcity.
39:57
And then, you know, my dad grew up very poor.
40:01
Well, so in in response to that, there was always a lot of money
40:08
even by today's standards in savings that but yet there would
40:11
be a need come up in the family with one of us and he would tell
40:15
us he didn't have the money. Because he was so scared to let
40:19
that get below. So that that's an example of an
40:22
impact that was never dealt with of like, okay, you're not there
40:27
anymore. So can you talk about that a
40:28
little bit? Yeah, well, the part of the
40:31
trauma that you're referring to, you know, growing up in poverty,
40:36
the brain doesn't know whether we're still there or not.
40:39
It thinks that we we're still there so.
40:42
We're going to behave. As if we're still in that same
40:44
situation. You can have all the money in
40:47
the bank, Which same, right? Like it's like, oh, we have to
40:50
hoard our money because we don't know when the next catastrophe
40:55
is going to happen. And even when the next
40:58
catastrophe happens, Well, no, because a bigger one can happen.
41:02
So if we sit in the cycle of struggle because we're used to
41:07
that, you know, people are used to, well, I've lived without air
41:11
con. I've lived without, you know,
41:13
things that are privileges now, right, that my son will.
41:18
You'll never know what it's like to not have cable, to not have,
41:21
you know, these luxuries that I definitely did not grow up with.
41:25
But that's the whole point here, right, is that we're creating
41:29
generational wealth. And by general generation
41:31
generational wealth, I don't mean millions, right?
41:33
I just mean right, stability lifestyle, exactly.
41:37
Stable lifestyle for stability, right?
41:41
And so when when we think about like the scarcity mindset, it's
41:46
because the brain has not processed the difference between
41:49
then and now. It's needs that then is still
41:53
happening or that then can still come up.
41:56
And so it's difficult to change the mind frame in which you live
42:00
in, even if you have all of the resources, you kind of want to
42:04
afford those resources for like really, really big things, you
42:07
know? So I myself have also tried to
42:12
and still go through that right where I have to remind myself
42:15
that, hey, like your situation is not the same from when you
42:19
were 10 years old. Your situation is very different
42:22
and you have privileges and you have luxuries and how you choose
42:25
to utilize those has to come from a place of health as
42:29
opposed from a place of scarcity.
42:33
You know, abundance is something that is also very difficult to
42:36
manage because we have abundance of something the fear of losing
42:41
that can be very real. You.
42:44
Know, and so I think that when you talk about your father
42:46
having this money and then not utilizing it or sharing it, it's
42:50
because how, how is he going to make up for that money that he's
42:54
essentially giving out, right? There's no reputation of that.
42:57
There's no growth in that. Yeah, the same for me, right?
43:01
Like you think about this money that you have, it's just sitting
43:04
there. It's not growing.
43:05
How do you make it grow? But I don't know.
43:07
I don't know how to make it grow.
43:08
So then the fear comes up again. Oh, wow.
43:11
Thank you for explaining that cycle.
43:12
Because I think that's again, one of those things we don't
43:15
talk about a lot, but it's very real.
43:18
And having an understanding of that when you're dealing with
43:20
somebody, like as a kid, I didn't understand that.
43:23
I didn't know that, but you know, as you get older and you
43:26
start understanding people's stories more in the background
43:29
and said, oh, that's the impact. That's why that makes sense.
43:32
But I think there's a lot of power in that in, in how we
43:35
communicate and connect with each other when we can put those
43:38
pieces together. So thank you so much for that.
43:42
Living out of your own expectations versus others.
43:45
This is a very important component for you.
43:48
And it's, it's something that you also are mindful of, of like
43:52
I got to make sure my expectations are healthy and
43:55
realistic and they're not putting an unreasonable demands
44:01
on me, but also making sure they're from me and authentic to
44:05
me and not from other voices and outside places.
44:09
So, so talk to me about your expectations journey as it
44:12
continues to evolve and grown as you go into this new season.
44:17
Well, I think expectations are ever changing based again off of
44:21
the phases of your life that you're in, right?
44:23
If they're not changing, then we're probably not being
44:27
reflective of our own values, of our own foundation.
44:32
So the expectation to live authentically through the phase
44:38
of life that you're going through is important to, to, to
44:42
discuss not only within yourself, but the people that
44:45
support those for you, you know, so like my husband is a
44:48
foundation for me. If I want to, you know, with the
44:52
extension, when I wanted to do the extension, his support is
44:57
important because whatever stressors I go through or
45:00
whatever highs I experience, I want him to be a part of that
45:05
and he is going to be a part of that regardless.
45:07
Even if I don't talk about it, he's still going to notice right
45:09
there. Absolutely.
45:11
Yeah, so outside of my my girlfriends being my biggest
45:16
cheerleaders, he as my partner, as like the most important
45:22
person in my life outside of my child, has been my biggest
45:25
supporter. And he has helped me evaluate
45:29
those expectations. He puts me sometimes.
45:31
He's my therapist, you know, he kind of just puts things into
45:36
perspective for me in a way that allows me to see things
45:40
differently because I too can also be just as human beings, we
45:43
could be very narrow minded, very narrow focus.
45:46
When you have a goal that you want to reach that you forget to
45:49
look at the outside perspective of things.
45:51
And so sometimes when I tell him about the expectations that I
45:55
have for myself and for our family, he reminds me of, OK,
46:00
that's an expectation you have now.
46:01
But like, remember that this value is what you've mentioned
46:06
has been important to you. And it doesn't sound like those
46:09
are in alignment. So either we're going to.
46:10
Have to re evaluate the expectation or we're going to
46:12
have to re evaluate the value because if they're misaligned,
46:17
you're going to be in a state of distress and dysregulation.
46:21
Yeah, yeah. It's so nice to have that voice
46:24
with someone that you trust that knows you so well.
46:27
Grady very much serves that role for me.
46:30
And he was the first one to tell me in 2019.
46:33
All right, my love this friend anxiety that you've been walking
46:37
with you your whole life. It's time to sit down and have a
46:39
serious conversation, you know, and, and I was like, I know, I
46:46
mean, but just just having that person that knows you, that, you
46:50
know, and trust once what's best for you, but that also has just
46:53
a little bit of an outside lens. Like have you thought about
46:56
this? I mean, even just with things
46:58
that I do with this, he'll be like, have you thought about
47:01
this or have you thought about that?
47:02
I'm like, Oh yeah, you know, it's just so good to have that
47:04
trusting voice and it's so powerful.
47:07
And this goes really nicely into the relationships piece we'll
47:11
talk about in a bit. But before we do that, talk to
47:13
me about accepting the layered aspects of yourself, all the
47:17
pieces and parts of your life. We talked about this, the
47:21
struggles that you had growing up earlier.
47:23
You've lost your, your, your father in the last, you know,
47:27
little over a year. Your child's growing and you've
47:30
got different responsibilities. There's he gets busy.
47:33
You've got this new adventure you're embarking on.
47:36
So there's all these, your relationship with your husband,
47:38
continuing the relationship with your girlfriends.
47:40
There's all these layers and all these pieces and parts that make
47:44
up who we are and some we love and some we don't.
47:47
But I talk about the fact a lot that got to get for me.
47:51
The 1st and component you got to get a handle on if you're going
47:54
to value yourself and prioritize yourself is accepting all those
47:58
parts of yourself. So.
48:00
So talk to me about your own layers journey within that.
48:05
Well, there's, you know, being doing the work that I do.
48:10
There's always time for self reflection.
48:13
You know, there's always a client that will remind me of
48:15
something within me. There's always a client that
48:18
will, whatever they're going through can be significant of
48:25
something that I'm going through in my life.
48:27
And so the layers are also ever changing, right?
48:30
Like it's almost like an onion. You kind of like peel and peel
48:33
and peel until you get to the core of something and then that
48:38
can be healed. And then you come up with
48:40
another onion, right? And it's like having to peel
48:42
back those layers. And some, some are a lot slower
48:44
than others, right? Some you add it to the core
48:47
right away, but the layers are, you know, I think about the core
48:52
and the core for me is my childhood.
48:56
That's the core, right? Because if I think about the
49:00
core or a root, right, the root is my childhood and it goes into
49:05
very, it has very different directions in which it's taken
49:09
me on this life journey. And some of those have been
49:13
closed, you know, and others have been ever growing and, and
49:19
there's going to be new roots that are created based off of
49:22
where I'm at in my life. But the core is always going to
49:26
be how I grew up because it always takes me back to if
49:29
there's something within me that is that I'm struggling with, I
49:32
have to be able to identify what the root is.
49:35
You know, whether that is a time in my life that somebody has
49:39
either hurt me or a time in my life or somebody has championed
49:42
me in a way that has allowed me to accelerate.
49:45
Like I think about my high school dance teacher.
49:48
She has been one that I would always look up to and still till
49:52
this day, you know, look up to her because she was a really
49:57
core foundation in a time in my life where I was going through
50:01
difficulties and struggles. And, you know, she she was able
50:05
to provide me with sense of direction and motivation through
50:10
dance. And so the layers will
50:14
contiguously be piled on. It's whether you decide to heal
50:17
those some of those layers that are wounded or if you decide to
50:21
acknowledge the layers that have provided you with growth.
50:25
Yeah, yeah, and, and, and knowing that they're all there,
50:28
you know, that's all a part of the journey and we all have
50:32
them. I think so many times we get
50:33
caught up in other people's shiny moments.
50:35
Like, listen, we've all got those things.
50:37
And it's just, and it's having that any you talk about
50:41
curiosity being one of your character traits, that's where
50:44
the curiosity piece really comes in handy.
50:48
Is is you it because it allows you to be curious rather than
50:51
judgmental, and that creates so much more opportunity for
50:55
empathy and healing in those spaces.
50:58
Thank you so much for that. So good.
50:59
All right, in living out feel, finding empowerment, embracing
51:04
layers, which is something that you have you speak so well to.
51:08
You've talked about your own journey.
51:10
You have gone through your own healing processes as well as you
51:14
help others in their healing journeys, but also to in being.
51:18
You've talked about surrounding yourself with women that are
51:22
empower you and support you and your champions.
51:26
That really allows you through that.
51:28
You've really learned how to show up as your most authentic
51:31
self and, and, and, and really valuing that piece and
51:35
prioritizing your Wellness. Talk to me about how that's not
51:40
only impacted your relationship with yourself as you've grown
51:43
and recognized insecurities and and grown and healed beyond
51:46
those points, but also your relationship with other people.
51:50
Yeah. Well, I think in order to have
51:54
really healthy relationships with people, you have to learn
51:57
how to have a healthy relationship with yourself.
51:59
Otherwise we become dependent on their validation.
52:03
We've become dependent on their reassurance, Right.
52:07
And again, you know, in full transparency and vulnerability
52:10
here, that was me. I was anxiously attached growing
52:13
up, probably due to the fact of losing my mother at a very young
52:17
age and not, you know, just all of these different things that I
52:20
experienced. And so I at the time didn't know
52:25
what that meant. Anxiously attached.
52:26
I thought that was part of the norm.
52:28
I thought that me feeling the way that I felt internally was
52:32
part of the norm, part of the pain process that I needed to go
52:36
through. Sure.
52:37
It wasn't until I became an, you know, an adult and, and probably
52:41
a little later on in in my 20s where I realized this is not the
52:45
way to live, right? Like, I should not be anxious in
52:49
new relationships with friends. I should not feel insecure in
52:54
relationships with people at the workplace.
52:57
And so there's something going on with me, with me that has not
53:02
been healed. So.
53:04
Even now, right as I've been on this lifelong journey, there are
53:09
still points in my life where I'm like, you should probably
53:12
take care of that. You should probably talk to your
53:15
therapist about that, you know, because if I, if we just as
53:21
humans do not continuously reflect, rate self reflect and
53:26
dig and, and turn in inward, our outward relationships are
53:31
probably going to suffer. They're not going to be long
53:33
term sustainable and, and, and you're not going to have a
53:36
strong foundation within those. So, so I think that's what's
53:40
helped, you know, even my, my marriage, you know, it, it was
53:43
rocky at the beginning because again, I lived with anxiously
53:47
with anxiously. Yeah, yeah.
53:49
I mean, and you're, and when you're putting that kind of
53:54
pressure on someone else to fill a hole that they weren't
53:58
designed to fill, that's right. And trying to trying to identify
54:02
that, that can be really challenging.
54:06
Right, right. So in healing, you know, those
54:10
things, then it's allowed me to feel confident and secure and
54:16
have a healthy attachment with myself.
54:20
Then in turn, I can turn around and, and give, you know, 100% of
54:24
myself to other relationships, you know, and again, in full
54:28
transparency, it doesn't mean that it happens all the time.
54:31
There are timing, which sometimes people do or say
54:34
things and I'm like that, that feels really, really ugly to me.
54:37
And so that I have to think about, is this a person that I'm
54:40
willing to continue to build a relationship with, or is this a
54:44
person that I need to put stronger boundaries with?
54:47
Because even if they're triggering something within me,
54:50
that means that I have to reflect on what that means to me
54:54
and our friendship or relationship.
54:57
Yeah, yeah. That's not making sure you're
54:59
not continually putting yourself in the line of fire with someone
55:03
who's bringing something up within you.
55:04
That's not healthy, you know, that's not healthy for you.
55:07
So I think that, you know, it's that that awareness of like,
55:09
yes, I can do my own work, but also it's important to realize
55:13
how people are impacting you. You pay attention to your
55:16
nervous system. Do you start with your chest
55:18
start tightening up? Do you start sweating or feeling
55:21
uncomfortable? Does your stomach get queasy
55:23
when you start getting in, when you're in the company of certain
55:26
people or spaces, pay attention to that.
55:29
And and decided like maybe that's a clue that I need to
55:32
think differently about how I approach that relationship
55:36
boundaries I have around for my own well-being.
55:38
Yeah, exactly. You know, sometimes people think
55:40
like, oh, I should just kind of let them do the things that they
55:43
want to do and, and, and let them, you know, manipulate
55:48
situations because it's about them, not about me.
55:51
But if you continuously put yourself in those situations,
55:54
then you are really, you are really saying again, no to
55:58
yourself, right? You're not listening to
55:59
yourself. And some of that can also be
56:02
part of people pleasing tendencies.
56:05
You know, the idea that we just have to let people, yes, you
56:08
can't let people, but that doesn't mean you have to
56:10
surround yourself with those people, right?
56:12
You have to make decisions for yourself.
56:14
Yeah, absolutely. Thank you so much for that.
56:16
So good. All right, we're down to the
56:19
rapid fire. Name 5 activities that nourish
56:22
you. OK, let me count these So 5
56:26
activities. One is spending time with my son
56:29
at his baseball games. Love doing that.
56:32
Look forward to that. Another one is spending time as
56:37
a whole with my with my husband and my son.
56:41
Another 1 is really giving back to myself.
56:44
You know what we talked about those basic fundamentals, you
56:46
know, just taking care of my overall physical well-being.
56:51
Another one is doing nothing at the end of the day, you know,
56:54
just being at once, like my son goes to sleep and I can just lay
56:57
in bed and watch nothingness that nourishes me.
57:03
And probably I would have to say the last one would be I'm just
57:12
going to say. Food like not giving, nourishing
57:15
my body. Yeah.
57:16
With awesome food. Yeah, I love that.
57:19
All right. And five words on how you want
57:21
to feel the next six months. I want to feel fulfilled within
57:28
myself and my family. I want to feel accomplished
57:34
within the next few projects that I'm doing.
57:37
I have a few projects coming up that take me to the end of the
57:41
year. So I want to feel accomplished
57:43
within those. I want to feel loved by friends
57:50
and family and, and you know, primarily my husband and son,
57:54
though I feel that every day, but that's a continuous cycle.
57:59
I, I myself want to feel confidence within the new phase
58:03
of health, you know, the health journey that I'm going into now.
58:07
I want to feel confident about making right decisions and
58:10
choices for myself, and I also also want to feel internally at
58:19
peace. I regulate it.
58:22
Those are big ones. Oh, thank you so much for that,
58:24
Valerie. Tell people where they can find
58:26
you, follow you and then share like all the things that that's
58:31
this new season with the business will be offering and
58:34
how people can get access to those if they're in Texas.
58:38
Unfortunately this won't be available everywhere, but those
58:40
of you that are in Texas, pay attention.
58:43
Yeah, share that real quick. And this will probably resources
58:46
page on embracinglayers.com as well.
58:49
Yes, for sure. So you can find me on Instagram.
58:51
I'm most active there at Inner Solis Therapy.
58:55
Also that's connected to the Facebook at Inner Solis Therapy.
58:59
innersolistherapy.com is my website.
59:02
Now if you're within Texas, Ioffer Therapy services online
59:05
and of course within my local area in Mission, TX and
59:09
surrounding Rio Grande Valley, the Wellness space is my next
59:13
venture. So the Wellness space is going
59:15
to be here connected to, you know, my office where I'm at
59:18
right now, and that's going to have infrared light therapy
59:21
that's going to offer sound fed therapy, salt light panels,
59:25
massage chairs with the idea of future expansion within the
59:31
next, you know, year or two, just depending on where life
59:33
takes me. That will include a massage
59:37
therapist, you know, so there's, there's a lot of growth, you
59:40
know, that's going to happen. Another service that I'm
59:44
offering and this can be really for anybody that is willing to
59:47
travel to South Padre Island, TX.
59:50
I'm offering a couples retreat in September.
59:53
So that's my next venture. Yes.
59:56
So the retreats is something that I'm diving into as another
1:00:01
source of services for couples and also individuals.
1:00:05
Individuals will probably be next year, but this year it's
1:00:07
going to be couples retreat. I love that.
1:00:10
I love this expansion, I love this growth.
1:00:12
I love this, this, this connectivity you have to it.
1:00:15
And I, it's funny, I've heard a lot about some of these, the
1:00:18
infrared light and the sound. Those are things we're hearing.
1:00:22
They used to be considered, you know, woo woo.
1:00:24
We're hearing a lot more about these things now.
1:00:27
Are these things you've practiced yourself or you just,
1:00:30
you know, practitioners that do it and and you just have seen
1:00:34
the value of it? Yes.
1:00:36
So in my local area, there is a, he is a medical doctor that has
1:00:43
his own center and I've gone and practiced some of those things
1:00:49
there. And there's another center here
1:00:52
locally that that really targets like athletes.
1:00:57
My target is coming from a place of obviously mental health and
1:01:01
healing. So the population that I work
1:01:05
with has a lot of physical symptoms that they experience
1:01:09
from traumatic experiences that they've gone through.
1:01:11
And so again, my body connection is important for me.
1:01:14
So I do all the things like EMDR or I go through all of these
1:01:19
different therapeutic localities.
1:01:21
My my thought process, my idea is to do that while also then
1:01:26
having them practice and sound that therapy right Sit under the
1:01:31
red infrared light therapy to reduce even health issues that
1:01:36
they're experiencing. Sure, yeah, 'cause these somatic
1:01:40
experiences as a are a very real thing.
1:01:43
I, I mean, so having that all in one space to offer people, Oh my
1:01:48
gosh, that's so powerful. That's so great.
1:01:50
I love this. I'm going to be following this.
1:01:52
This is wonderful. Well, Valerie, thank you so much
1:01:54
for taking the time today. I appreciate what you do and how
1:01:57
you show up in the world. It's so valuable.
1:02:01
Go to our resources page folks and take a look at those
1:02:04
retreats. Even if you aren't in Texas and
1:02:07
you can't get access to these things that she has through the
1:02:11
state, you know, whether you work with her online or locally,
1:02:14
those retreats, I can tell you we have personal experience with
1:02:17
Valerie. It's going to be worth the time
1:02:19
to take a look at that and and see if that's something you want
1:02:22
to invest in. So all those again will be
1:02:25
available in our resources page. Thanks again for being with us.
1:02:29
Take good care of yourself this week, folks.
1:02:31
Listen to your body. Is there is there something
1:02:33
telling you that you need? We need to take a look and see
1:02:35
if your values and are in lineman are your boundaries or
1:02:38
alignment? Do you need to make some shifts
1:02:40
in yourself care. We go through different seasons,
1:02:43
we go through different times. Pay attention, know you're
1:02:45
worthy of it. Be your own cheerleader and
1:02:48
surround yourself with people that think and love you and
1:02:52
value that way as well. Those are some takeaways I have
1:02:55
from today. I hope you do too.
1:02:57
Take good care and have a great week.
1:03:02
Hello, I'm Melissa Crook here. Thank you so much for joining us
1:03:06
on the field podcast today. Finding empowerment, Embracing
1:03:10
Layers. I hope you found today's
1:03:13
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1:03:17
To learn more about all that we offer here at the Embracing
1:03:21
Layers Network, visit embracinglayers.com.
1:03:25
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1:03:29
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1:03:36
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1:03:39
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1:03:51
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