Latest / The Karen Kenney Show / EVEN WHEN YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE IT

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EVEN WHEN YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE IT · The Karen Kenney Show

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Karen Kenney: It's the Karen Kenney show. Hey you guys,
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welcome to the Karen Kenney show. I was gonna say I'm super
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duper excited to be here, but that would kind of be like Liar
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liar pants on. I would be a little bit of a lying pants if I
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said that. But let me put it into some context, because that
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is what this whole episode is about, right? You probably saw
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the title. What am I gonna call this thing? Probably something
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like, even when you don't feel like it, even if you don't feel
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like it. And let's just dive right into this. So this
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morning, I woke up, and normally I wake up, and especially if
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I've had, you know, a good night's sleep, I kind of get out
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of bed and I've already got some, like, positive Mojo, some
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good energy rolling, right? I tend to, I tend to be able to
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place my mind where I want to put it, in terms of, like,
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leaning, leaning a little bit more towards happiness, or, you
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know, whatever. So I don't tend to, I don't roll out of bed
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cranky and, you know, whatever, and I don't drink coffee or any
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of that stuff. So I am just kind of on my own kind of natural
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high that kind of like, jump starts my morning. But this
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morning, I could just tell there was a little bit of a lingering,
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like, I don't know what to call it, like, stickiness or
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tackiness or suppression or whatever. And I was just a
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little bit, I told myself in my brain, like, right now you got
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to decide I talk to myself all the time. Like, right now you
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not need to make a decision about what kind of day you're
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about to have. Because I could see myself if I really wanted to
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linger in my meh, everything's just like, Man, if I wanted to
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stay there, I could have and so I got up, talked to my sweetie
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for a little bit, and I just said to him, Look, we need to go
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downstairs right now and work out. I said, because I don't
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feel like it, I am not in the mood right now. And meaning,
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like, not that I was cranky, but I just was like, I have no
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desire to go pick up heavy things and put them down. So I
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said to him, I need to do it right now, you know. So I went
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in the bedroom, and I changed my clothes, put on my workout
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clothes, and went down to the basement. And we did. We picked
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up heavy things and put them down, right? And so I'm going to
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tell you two little stories, and I'm going to make my point. Make
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my point. So I did it, I got it done. And then once that was
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done, I was like, Oh, I got to record a podcast today. And I
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said, I kind of don't feel like it using, come on, you can
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relate double A many, as if you can relate when you're just
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feeling a little bit whiny, a little bit like I don't feel
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like it. You guys, think about it. Guys, this is like episode
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363 for so it was over 363 weeks, except for that one time
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when I took like, a little smidge of time off to see what
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that would be like. You know, me, I gotta experiment with
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everything. I mean, like, every week, practically, for 363,
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weeks I have been doing this. And so there are just days when
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you have more, whether it's energy or ideas or inspiration,
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a little bit of mojo, a little bit of, you know, movement in
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your in
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your body and in your brain. And you're like, yes, let's do this.
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I'm so jazz, and today, man, I just really didn't kind of feel
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like it, but I said to my sweetie, I came upstairs. No
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inspiration really struck, you know, and I always keep like, I
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have, I have stuff written down about ideas, but I'm not going
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to just talk about things. To talk about things. I want to
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talk about something because it matters to me, or it's got me
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thinking a new way, or whatever, right? So I was like, Okay, I'm
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gonna, I'm gonna go back downstairs. So I went back
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downstairs, I made some oatmeal, and I said to him, You know
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what? And I'm standing at the stove, and this is what it's
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like. I kind of asked my spiritual team. I asked, you
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know, the writing, the writing gods, I asked the muse, I just
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ask any, any divine helper that I can, like, help me, because I
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am stuck. And I figured if worse came to worse, I would just go
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out and go for a walk. Because when you walk, it totally helps
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your brain with problem solving, creativity, ideas, all of that,
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for most a lot of people, maybe not everybody, but for me, for
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sure. So we're downstairs, and as I'm stirring my oatmeal, and
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I say to him, I just don't feel like it. And then I all of a
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sudden, my my brain was like, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
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And I was like, that's what I'm going to talk about. I'm going
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to talk about showing up even when you don't feel like it. So
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let's go back to the first example, the workout. Okay, that
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was simply going to benefit me working out. So this was a
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chance for me to keep my word to myself, which is, hey, I
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strength train three days a week, right? And we're not
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skipping. I have no good reason to skip. I'm not sick. I'm not.
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You know, like maimed. I'm not injured. I have all the capacity
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to be able to get my ass downstairs and pick up those
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dumbbells. You know what I mean? Like, squat it out, row it out,
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press it out right, curl it out tricep, dip it out, whatever I'm
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doing. It's like I had everything I needed. What I
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didn't have was the right fucking attitude. You
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it whiny, right? I was like, I don't feel like doing it. But
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here's the thing we all know, what a slippery slope it can be
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when you start to cut yourself a little too much slack. So let me
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say this, before too many people or anybody gets like, their
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panties in a bunch, I understand that there are going to be times
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in life when you really have to listen to a part of you, if it's
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actually exhausted, if rest is what's really actually called
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for, I'm not talking about again, bypassing yourself,
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jumping over like your physical needs, whatever. They're just
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going to be times when you do not have anything in the tank to
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give. I'm not talking about that. This is more just like a
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preference, a mood, an attitude, you know what I mean? And I was
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like, Yeah, but here's the thing, it's such a slippery
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slope, because if I let myself create an excuse, right? If my
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mind, my mind left unattended, it can come up with any kind of
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excuse. I bet yours can too, right? And I have to resist the
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temptation of my whiny ass little brain sometimes to be
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like, Oh, you don't feel like it, and then you start hearing
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words in your head like, deserve, well, you deserve to
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take a break. You've been working hard, or you've been
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data, data, data, right? Quote, unquote, self care, right?
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Resist that. There's a lot in A Course in Miracles that says,
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resist the temptation to perceive yourself as unfairly
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treated, right? And so I think this sometimes I got to resist
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the temptation to perceive myself as somebody who's like, I
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don't feel like it's like, Nope. That is not our identity. We are
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a person that shows up, and we're going to show up for
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ourselves. We are not going to let these lame ass excuses get
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in the way and keep you from keeping your word to yourself,
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because self integrity is so important, you know, especially
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if you're a person who has in the past really just always
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gone, I shouldn't say always often, right? Anybody here who
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through their own survival? What's the word? I want to call
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strategies, your own survival instincts, your own survival,
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like things that you did because of your childhood or how you
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grew up, or your trauma, or whatever, right? Whether you
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became a people pleaser. Whether you became like, I'm gonna do
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everything for everybody else but myself, you put yourself
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last, and then you got kind of pissy about it. You became a
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mother and you were cranky, because you're always going
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above and beyond for everybody else, and then nobody does it
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for you, whatever, if you're the kind of person who used to make
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keeping your word to yourself like it was the last thing,
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because you always made yourself available to everybody else.
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Didn't have really good boundaries. There is something
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so important in creating like these, these things that
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sometimes get talked about these days as if they're a negative
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thing. But to me, discipline, like so many people are, like,
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too much discipline. We need more softness. I'm like, Yes,
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but discipline, to me, discipline is often discipline
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that is being enforced on you from an external source. But
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like self discipline, holding yourself accountable to your own
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word and to what you say matters and to what you say that you
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want to do like that, to me, is a very powerful thing. So to be
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able to build some discipline, to be able to to build self
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trust, to be able to get some momentum going right consistency
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and habit building, and like keeping your word to yourself,
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knowing that you can trust yourself is such a big thing. I
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know already said that, and then building an identity of the kind
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of person who doesn't make excuses, the kind of person that
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keeps their word, the kind of person that shows up. So me
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going downstairs into the basement, it might seem like a
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tiny little thing, but keeping my word to myself and doing the
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work even when I didn't feel like it is not only going to
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serve me in that moment of lifting weights, because I have
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never, I'm
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trying to trace my mind as far as I can remember in this
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moment, I have never, unless I got hurt or something like and
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you go, maybe I shouldn't have done that. But just in terms of
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like normal, like going to the gym or going out for a run or
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going out for a walk. Or going to yoga class or moving my body
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or whatever, right? I've never regretted doing it. It's just
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like kind of busting through that little bit of resistance
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and getting to the other side of the thing. Because I know I'm
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going to feel better after I did it. I know I'm going to be happy
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that I did it once I've done it, but it's in that beginning, like
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bumping up against that resistance, and maybe I'll do a
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whole thing about resistance at some point. But keeping myself,
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keeping my word to myself, even though I wasn't in the mood,
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even though I was feeling whiny, even I was feeling a little
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tired, it's like, man, it was so important for me to do that.
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Because I'll tell you this, the muscle that I'm building in that
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moment of keeping my word to myself is also the muscle that
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I'm going to need, that inner muscle that I'm going to need
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when it comes down to sitting down at my desk and writing my
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book and finishing this first draft, right? It's like there's
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going to be so much resistance. And we know all about this. Oh,
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I moved my books, but like Steven Pressfield talks about
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this, right? Stephen Pressfield has written so many fantastic
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books, The War of Art, you know, put your put your ass where your
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hat is,
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put your ass where your hat wants to be. I mean, he's
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written, do the work, like going pro, like he's written so many
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great books are all behind me in the bookshelf, but about how,
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just how brutal and vicious and relentless resistance can be. So
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anytime I can, and I don't like to say that thing like slay
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dragons, because I love dragons, like Mother of Dragons, and love
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them. But this idea of slaying that thing in you, whether you
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call it, I call it. It's almost like a whininess or a weakness,
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right? That like will come up, that like I don't feel like it
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murmur anytime I can overcome that sucker. It is like a win
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for me, because I know whether it's with working out, going for
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a walk, doing the hard thing, doing the thing you don't feel
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like that could be anything from like cleaning your house to
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doing your laundry to paying your bills, to getting off your
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ass, to showing up at the thing, even though you said you were
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like you don't feel like it now, but you gave your word below
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that is such a powerful thing, because it will help you across
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so many areas of your life. So when I keep my word to myself in
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the gym, in the basement, I keep my word to myself more in so
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many other ways, including my creative life. So that's me with
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me. Then there are going to be times when, like, with this
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podcast as I started as this example, I didn't really feel
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like recording, hitting record today. I was like, not really in
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the mood. There are just times because I am even though maybe
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somebody might call me an ambivert, but really, I'm an
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introvert. I like alone time. I like being by myself. And there
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are just sometimes when I'm a little bit more hermit than
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others where I'm really just happy, like putting on my comfy
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clothes, and like after working out or whatever, I just like
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hunkering down. And I don't want to have to be forward facing. I
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don't want to have to be communicating out with there are
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just some times when I just prefer to be more insular, more
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inside myself. And today was just one of those days, and I'm
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like, Yeah, I'm not, like, really feeling the desire to be
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super communicative and but I was like, Look, I have given my
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word right every Thursday in the morning, I know at least some of
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you are expecting that new episode to roll out, and I have
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kind of made this commitment until I no longer do a show,
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whenever that might be, I don't know, but right now, it's like
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the agreement. The unspoken agreement is I'm going to show
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up each week, and it's something you can count on that I'm going
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to roll out an episode. And so for me, showing up for others
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also means a lot. Like, I think about it, imagine if I just
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decided, like, oh yeah, I don't want to show up. I don't want to
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show up for my yoga class tonight, the one that I'm
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teaching with people, all the people coming to take class, and
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I was just like me. I just didn't feel like it. You know
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what? I mean? It's like, imagine if you're a mother or a parent
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or a partner, or you own a business, like, whatever it is
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like, you don't really have the luxury of just being like, meh.
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Didn't feel like, didn't didn't feel like feeding you today.
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Didn't feel like being there for you today. Didn't feel like
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picking you up from school. Didn't feel like whatever it's
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like, especially when you're self employed, and that's the
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thing, right? When you're self employed, you don't really have
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the like, you have a little more wiggle room than when, of
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course, you have to be at somebody else's business, but
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you have to be self motivating. You have to be like, Okay, I'm
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going to get my ass in gear and get the shit done that I said I
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was going to get done. I'm not going to be able to sit back
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here and just like, float right, sit back here eating bonbons and
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just putting my feet up and relaxing, right? So we have to
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practice keeping our word to ourselves. We have to practice
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keeping our words to others. We have to practice and through
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this repetition, we start to get stronger. This is how we build
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any muscle. And it's the same thing with like a daily spirit.
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Practice, right? A meditation practice, whatever people are
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doing, it's like, it can be so easy to be like, Oh, I'm tired.
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I don't feel like it. I'm feeling run down, and I'm not in
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the mood, or I have a cold or and I I'm sometimes I feel like
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it's not like,
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showing up when you don't feel like it. Sometimes I'm like, You
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should show up when you don't feel like it like, especially
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when you don't feel like it, so that we can kind of overcome
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that, you know, when you just feel like lethargic and you just
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feel like unmotivated and uninspired and everything just
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feels like extra hard. And the reality of it is, is we're like,
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we have this we tell ourselves this story, right? It's gonna be
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hard, it's gonna be challenging. It's gonna be there's an
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uncertain outcome. Like, I don't know what's gonna happen. It's
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uncomfortable. You could just see, if you'd see my face I'm
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making, like, all these whiny, all these kind of, like, whiny
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vases, like, man, like, I just don't want to right? We tell
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ourselves these stories. And the thing is, like, as I said
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earlier, it's like, do you remember, like, shoots and
16:07
ladders? Do you remember that game? And you would be like,
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hop, hop, hop, like, foreign momentum, and then all of a
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sudden you would get a ladder. I mean, that you would get a
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shoot, and, like, you would slide down, like, all this
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thing. And that was fun. That was fun on that game. It's not
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fun in real life when you start to create a slippery slope,
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because once you start, once you like skip one workout, it's so
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much easier to do it the next day. I've seen people do this
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with cheating. I've seen people do this with gambling. I've seen
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people doing this with spending money, or I just you see it with
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drinking. You see it in addiction, like any kind of
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tendencies. It's like, oh, it was just one time, and then it
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was like, that one time turned into two times, turned into
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three times, and then it's like, oh, we are slowly destroying
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whatever, this, this dream that you had, or this, this sobriety
16:59
that you had, or this whatever, right? So we have to be like,
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really vigilant. You got to be vigilant about the quality of
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your thoughts, the quality of your words, the quality of your
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actions, like you got to keep your and I'm doing like that. I
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thing where I pointed my own eyes now I'm pointing at you.
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You have got to watch yourself like a hawk. You have got to
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notice when you're like, oh, here I am about to slide down
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that slippery slope. I'm about to make an excuse, right? I'm
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about to, like, give myself a pass. And again, I'm not saying
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that there aren't maybe appropriate times when something
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really important or big, right, is pulling you out of your
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routine or whatever. But man, as soon as you can get yourself
17:44
back on track, as soon as you can do it, and whether you have
17:47
to write yourself a commitment letter to yourself, like
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tomorrow, I'm going to set it up. Or let's say, you skip the
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gym one day that that night, the net, that very night, right of
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the day you skip, you better set your shit out. You better put
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your clothes, your sneakers, your workout gear, get prepare
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yourself to get back on track the next day, because it's so
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easy. You know, you ever see like, I think about like, when,
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if you're like, this is, might be a weird example, but I think
18:15
about this, it's like, gut flora, right? Like the gut flora
18:17
in your intestines, your belly, all that stuff. It's like, you
18:21
give it, like, a little bit of sugar, right? I think about
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like, this is how, like, you know, yeast situations happen.
18:28
You feed it a little give it a little sugar one time. Not that
18:30
big of a deal. But you keep feeding that. You keep feeding
18:34
that beast and that thing, that bloom of bacteria, just is like
18:39
party, right? It's just like having a wicked time. It's like
18:42
because you keep giving it. The thing that actually is you're
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making, you're making the possibility of you not keeping
18:50
your word to yourself alive and intact. So here's the thing,
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there are going to be days. Why should you give a shit about
19:00
this, because there's going to be moments in days and times
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when you were just not going to be in the mood, and you're not
19:06
going to feel like it, and you're going to have such a
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great temptation, right? And here I am as like, you know, a
19:12
Catholic kid, you know, and I always hear in my head, lead us
19:16
not into temptation. What's often leading us into temptation
19:20
is our own thinking, you know, and our thinking is like
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thoughts. Thoughts. I always say, thoughts become words,
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thoughts become actions. Thoughts become over time. If
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you keep in that thought loop, they start to become your
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behavior, your patterns, your character, your identity, and we
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don't want, I don't like to feed, I don't like to feed the
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little gremlin that is like, that will just grow stronger,
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right? We'll get more power. We'll keep like, on a video
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game, you know, it goes, ding, and it grabs the wrong ding, it
19:53
grabs the jewel. Ding, it like, gets the weapon, right? I'm
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like, I do not want to feed that little monster that. Get
20:00
stronger to and keeps me from keeping my word to myself,
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right? I want to create and stay with the identity of I'm a
20:11
person that keeps my word first and foremost to me and then to
20:16
others. So you got to know how you self sabotage. You got to
20:20
know, like, keep an eye on notice. Well, it's often after I
20:26
do think or feel X, Y and Z that I have these tendencies to not
20:32
want to whatever. Sometimes you guys, seriously, it's shit that
20:36
you're eating, you're eating too much sugar, you're drinking too
20:38
much caffeine, and then you hit that slump, and then all your
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energy to like, you know, like, and again, let's, I'll just use
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this as an example, because I teach yoga. I teach at six
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o'clock at night, right? That's when most people are like, I'm
20:52
going home, like, I'm going home from work. So the people who are
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successful at showing up to class consistently, right? They
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usually like, bring their yoga clothes, they keep their yoga
21:04
mat. And so they set themselves up so that they're like, there's
21:07
no excuse, like, Oh, I forgot my my my clothes, right? Oh, I
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forgot my yoga mat. They set themselves up for success. And
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these are the things that we have to do. We have to notice
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around this time of day is when I start to get whiny. Oh, it's
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when I don't get enough sleep that I don't show up the next
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day prepared to blah, blah, blah. Oh, it's when I hang out
21:27
with this group of people. I feel worse afterwards, and then
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I don't want to go do that thing that's good for me, whatever it
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is, really what I'm saying is you got to be paying attention
21:35
to your life. You got to be paying attention to yourself,
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and you got to be paying attention to the choices that
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you're making that are either going to support the outcomes
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that you think you want to have, which is, I want to be strong, I
21:48
want to stay healthy, I want to stay fit and mobile, right?
21:51
Mobile, as I sometimes say, right. So I got to do my
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workouts. I got to do my you know, my stretching, my yoga,
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whatever you're going to do, right? And also keeping your
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word to others.
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There's something about when somebody breaks their word to
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you. And I understand that life happens. I understand that
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whether it's an act of God, an act of nature, something comes
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up. I totally get it. But we also know, if we took a look
22:19
around it, and whether it's your family or your friends or your
22:22
co workers or whatever, there's always somebody that people go,
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yeah, they're a flake. They're a flake. They always make, they
22:28
always make plans, and they never show up, or they always
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cancel, or they always blah, blah, blah. There's always a
22:33
reason. And what becomes is you, that person becomes a person who
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cannot be relied upon, and they're not responsible. And I
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was literally talking to somebody. Was it yesterday?
22:44
Yeah, it was yesterday. And we were talking about a particular
22:48
kind of business, it doesn't matter who or what. And they
22:51
said, This person is so talented, they are so good, but
22:55
I would never recommend them. And I was like, why not? And
22:59
they're like, they are not consistent, they are not
23:01
reliable. I don't know who's going to show up, how they're
23:04
going to show up, if they're going to show up. And I was
23:07
like, it's such a shame, man, it's such a shame that that is
23:09
the reputation that follows you. But we can build a reputation
23:13
with ourselves, too. Oh yeah, yeah. You know us talking about
23:17
us, that inner critic, oh yeah. She's not going to do it. She's
23:20
not reliable. She always does this data. She never does that.
23:24
So look, the next time you bump up against, I'm not in the mood,
23:29
you're tired, you're feeling whiny. You got to think about
23:32
you got to think about how when we practice moving through that
23:37
resistance, when we practice moving through the thoughts of,
23:40
oh, it's going to be challenging, it's going to be
23:42
uncomfortable, it's going to be hard. I'm not feeling like it
23:45
does when we start to focus on hey, I'm building discipline,
23:48
self discipline. I'm building self trust. I'm building some
23:52
forward momentum. I'm building an identity as a person who
23:55
takes action and keeps their word. You practice and you
23:57
practice and you practice and you build that repetition you
24:01
resist, the temptation you resist also the temptation to
24:04
distract yourself with nonsense like your phone and scrolling
24:10
and social media and shit that doesn't really matter, the drama
24:15
getting up in everybody else's business. It's like no man, you
24:17
got this one life to live like, let's live it. Let's fully show
24:20
up. Let's do the damn thing that we said we were going to do, and
24:25
watch your mind, because it's going to come up with 1000 good
24:28
reasons, 1000 good excuses as to let yourself off the hook. So
24:34
this is just like a little love letter, like from my heart to
24:37
yours, because I had to push through it today in two
24:40
different areas, and I'm so glad I did it right like I here I am
24:43
at the end, and I'm like, Oh, I'm so glad I sat down and did
24:46
it. I'm so glad I stopped being so whiny and I showed up to
24:52
spend some time with you today. So thank you for listening and
24:56
thank you for being here, and maybe you can relate to what I'm
24:59
talking about. I hope this landed for you in some way.
25:02
Right? My goal, as I always say, is always to either enlighten or
25:06
elevate or educate, create an emotional connection, to edify,
25:10
you know, to edify my listeners. So I hope that this landed in
25:14
some way for you. And I'll just stop there, because I can just,
25:17
like, keep going, but I think I said what I needed to say. So
25:19
maybe you find yourself in a period of your life or time when
25:22
you're at a job and you're like, don't feel like it. It can be so
25:26
easy to just half ass things and start to show up a little late
25:30
and not giving it your all. And I'm telling you, don't rep
25:34
represent yourself the way that you want to be, even if you're
25:37
on your way out the door, even if you know that this good job
25:39
is not going to be show up, do your job, keep your word like do
25:43
the things that are required of you, even when you don't feel
25:47
like it. Do it for self respect, too, right? Self integrity, self
25:50
respect. It will go a really long way. And I get it sometimes
25:54
we don't feel inspired, but this is when we have to buckle up and
25:57
buckle down and get the shit done, right? And I'm telling
26:01
you, it's going to build something inside of you, that
26:03
you're going to start to learn, that you can trust yourself, and
26:07
that you have resources and that you can do have things, and that
26:09
you can handle it. And it's a very, very, very powerful thing.
26:12
Okay, thanks for being here with me. I appreciate you. I love you
26:16
guys, and I'm so glad, I'm so glad that you showed up. If you
26:19
can still hear my voice and listen. Maybe you didn't feel
26:21
like it. Maybe you were like, man, maybe you're listening to
26:24
me right now on a walk that you didn't want to go on. And if so,
26:28
thank you for being here. Way to go. You. Okay, so wherever you
26:31
go, may you leave yourself and the animals and the people and
26:35
the places in the planet better than how you found them,
26:38
wherever you go. May you leave your being there wherever you
26:41
go. May your being there, right, your love, your presence, your
26:45
attitude, your energy, may it be a blessing.
26:49
Bye, Hey. Thanks so much for listening to the show. I really
26:53
love spending some time together. Now, if you dig the
26:56
show or know someone that could benefit from this episode,
27:00
please share it with them and help me to spread the good word
27:03
and the love. And if you want to be in the know about all of my
27:07
upcoming shenanigans, head on over to Karen kenney.com/sign up
27:12
and join my list. It'll be wicked fun to stay in touch.
27:17
Bye. You. A baby.