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Transcript

Why I've Stopped Cycle Syncing (& Started Trusting My Body Instead) · The Good Girl Rebellion

• 0:00
  So I need to tell you something that's probably gonna be quite controversial coming from somebody who teaches about the menstrual cycle.
• 0:05
  I feel like cycle syncing fucked my cycle.
• 0:08
  I feel like overanalyzing everything, micromanaging my cycle, looking into every minute detail is what has completely thrown me off balance.
• 0:16
  And not because cycle syncing doesn't work, but because cycle syncing, the way I was doing it, was coming all from the wrong place.
• 0:50
  So if you're ready to reclaim your power, reconnect with your wildest self and rise as the woman you were never taught to be, you are in the right place.
• 0:59
  Welcome to the rebellion.
• 1:00
  I think cycle syncing and trying to live by my cycle has fucked my cycle.
• 1:08
  This is this has been a journey.
• 1:10
  This has been an absolute journey, but looking back in hindsight, I can see that I've been using cycle syncing as a way to overanalyse everything I do and to create rules for myself around everything I do.
• 1:24
  Because the wellness industry loves rules, and I'm not saying these rules are bad.
• 1:28
  These rules could be really good.
• 1:30
  They come from a great place.
• 1:31
  Things like eat like this in your follicular phase, exercise like this in your luteal phase, schedule your meetings in here, rest here, prioritize your motivation here.
• 1:40
  Create your content in this phase of your cycle, socialise in this phase of your cycle.
• 1:44
  There's all these things, all these do's and don'ts that seem really appealing.
• 1:48
  But then what happens when you actually feel like showing up on the days that cycle syncing tells you you're not supposed to show up?
• 1:54
  Or what happens when you don't feel like showing up on the days that cycle syncing tells you you should show up?
• 1:58
  You begin to feel guilty and you begin to create this narrative in your head about what's right and what's wrong.
• 2:05
  And actually, I think it all just comes down to how you feel.
• 2:08
  It all just comes down to unlearning everything we've been told is true and just listening to your body.
• 2:15
  Because sometimes the body can be confusing.
• 2:17
  Sometimes we don't actually know what our body wants because we've been so disconnected from listening to it, to well and truly listening to it, that we actually don't know how to listen to it anymore.
• 2:28
  So cycle thinking gives you a blueprint, it gives you something to follow, and it's exciting and it's easy and it's structured.
• 2:34
  Which, if you're someone like me, that was like, yep, okay, sign me up.
• 2:38
  But your bodies aren't spreadsheets, your bodies aren't here to be analysed, your bodies aren't here to show up the same every month, every phase of your cycle.
• 2:46
  One luteal phase will be so different to the next luteal phase.
• 2:50
  You might be absolutely thriving in ovulation one month and then having the worst time of your life in another month.
• 2:56
  It's just about showing up how you feel in that moment, in that phase of your cycle, on that day, and not listening to the rules and the do's of the don'ts of the wellness industry because you are your own wellness industry.
• 3:10
  You need nothing outside of you to tell you what's right and what's wrong.
• 3:13
  And this is something I'm learning the hard way.
• 3:16
  I stopped listening to myself.
• 3:17
  I stopped listening to my body and what she truly needs.
• 3:21
  I stopped exercising in my lose your phase because I was told that I shouldn't do that.
• 3:26
  I felt guilty for being productive on my bleed when I had all these ideas flowing.
• 3:30
  I felt guilty because I wasn't eating the right foods at the right time of my cycle, and I always felt like I could be doing better, even though I was already doing so much.
• 3:39
  And I just analyzed every symptom, I analyzed every single piece of my body to the point where yes, it's really great to know where we are in our cycle and what's going on internally and what's happening, but over-analysing it and having all of this information at your fingertips, I feel like has almost done me the opposite of what it was supposed to.
• 3:59
  Because having all this information is great, but I wasn't becoming more connected to my body, I was becoming obsessed with monitoring it, with analysing it, with creating a system to work around it.
• 4:10
  And it shouldn't work like that because it all came down to the fact that I wasn't living my cycle, I was managing it, and that is no way to live.
• 4:19
  If we know anything, women are supposed to flow and be fluid and show up how we feel in each and every moment and be slow and sensual and juicy and just in tune with ourselves, and living like that cyclically, trying to analyze everything, does not allow you to live as you are in each and every moment.
• 4:40
  It just means that you are creating structure and a very masculine approach to your feminine body.
• 4:46
  And this is something I've really struggled with because earlier in the year I created a course around living by your cycles called the cyclica method, about living with your inner seasons, living in touch with all of the different seasons, showing up differently through each of these seasons, and I've really struggled with it.
• 5:03
  I've really struggled to connect to it because if you've been listening for a while, you'll know that I lost my cycle.
• 5:09
  So I bled in January of this year and I didn't bleed again until May.
• 5:14
  I have been going through a lot in my personal life.
• 5:17
  I was at home, I was dealing with feeling kind of stuck and the sense of kind of just not belonging where I was living.
• 5:26
  And I then was moving to Australia.
• 5:28
  So all of that was kind of happening, it was all a process, it was all kind of happening all at once.
• 5:34
  But in that, I was micromanaging my cycle because I was teaching how to live cyclically, so I was really embodying living cyclically, and I really think that not showing up for myself has got me to the position where I am now where I don't recognize myself, I really don't recognise the woman I've become, and it's really tough to know that you are in such a good flow and such a good state when you weren't overanalysing everything, and then when I've looked at all of my data and micromanaged all of my symptoms, I've lost it.
• 6:09
  And this is my reminder to you that you don't have to do what the wellness industry, what I, what anybody else tells you you should do, you just need to listen to your body because this is my backhanded way of learning myself that I should be listening to my body and not showing up how I think I should.
• 6:29
  I should be showing up exactly how I want to because like this morning I woke up and I really wanted to go out to the river, to the water, and go for a walk or a run for the sunrise.
• 6:40
  And I was like, I can't do that because I haven't eaten and I'm not gonna be able to eat and run and like make it there in time because I should never work out fasted and blah blah blah.
• 6:49
  And I was just like, it's the over-analysing of everything.
• 6:52
  Why am I looking into it with this much detail when actually I should just do what I want to do?
• 6:57
  And if I want to go for a walk at sunrise and I haven't eaten anything yet, I should still go because it's gonna make me happy because that's what my body wants to do.
• 7:05
  My body was craving being outside and moving.
• 7:08
  And if I'd have not allowed myself to do that, because the wellness industry has told us that we shouldn't, where does that leave us?
• 7:17
  Where does that leave us, and how do we manage ourselves when we don't listen to our bodies and what she wants?
• 7:23
  Because this is how cycle syncing has become another form of perfectionism.
• 7:27
  You're either good at cycle syncing or you're bad at cycle syncing, you're getting your cycle perfect, and you have symptom-free periods and everything's flowing, and you turn healing into performance, and it shouldn't be a performance.
• 7:39
  Healing should just be about listening to your body and showing up how it feels and how it needs in each and every moment, and over-analyzing everything and creating it as another form of perfectionism is what has ruined it, it's what has made it this other form of good girl conditioning.
• 7:56
  Like we've lost the good girl conditioning in how women should be, and now we've evolved it into becoming this cycle sinking wellness good girl because cycle sinking takes away from our curiosity, our playfulness, our connection to our body, and it creates hyper-vigilance.
• 8:11
  And hyper-vigilance is not body literacy, hyper-vigilance is a way of scrutinizing ourselves and putting ourselves under the microscope to see what is wrong and what we can do about it.
• 8:23
  When actually, body literacy is all about being curious, it's all about awareness, it's all about the flexibility to understand that we are fluid.
• 8:32
  I always think of the feminine and the masculine is the masculine is the riverbed, the hard structure that holds.
• 8:39
  And the river is the feminine.
• 8:41
  You are fluid, you are moving, you are constantly going and with the flow of life, and you need the strong structure of the riverbed to keep you in place, but you need to continue to be fluid.
• 8:53
  And cycle syncing takes away that fluidity, it takes away that aspect of showing up and coming exactly as you are because it tells you that you should be feeling this way, you should be able to show up when you're ovulating, you shouldn't show up in your in your bleed, you should do this, you shouldn't do that.
• 9:10
  It creates constant monitoring, it creates anxiety, it creates constantly looking at our body and trying to figure out what's wrong and how to fix everything, and then feeling guilty when we don't know how to fix it, or that we feel like we haven't showed up how we were supposed to, when you're not supposed to do anything, you're not supposed to show up in any way, you're not supposed to be or do anything because the outside world has told you that's how you should be and do and everything.
• 9:36
  You just need to show up as you feel in each and every moment.
• 9:39
  Because knowing your body and constantly watching your body are two completely different things, and that is what I've come to realize is that yes, I have a good connection to my body, but I haven't been knowing it, haven't been listening to her, haven't been honoring her, I've been watching her, I've been watching what she's doing, I've been making notes and scrutinizing her and trying to figure out what's wrong with me when there's nothing wrong with me.
• 10:01
  I just need to listen and allow her to guide me.
• 10:04
  So instead of following the rules, instead of following the do's and the don'ts and what you should be doing and how you should be showing up, yes, you can use them as guidelines and they're great if you feel like following them in the moment.
• 10:15
  But what has actually worked for me is listening to my body, slowing down enough to connect to my womb space, doing a daily womb meditation where I just sit in silence with my womb space and just see what she brings to my attention.
• 10:29
  Because if you quiet your mind, your body will speak to you.
• 10:32
  Having a plan and sticking to the plan and being disciplined and showing up for myself because I know that when I show up, even when I don't want to, it creates trust within myself and it means that I have the trust within myself that I'm able to do hard things.
• 10:48
  Whereas allowing myself to live by my cycle, it was almost like giving myself a get out of jail free card, and I wasn't showing up for myself, and I wasn't doing the things I told myself I was gonna do because oh I'm in my late lotious and I just don't I don't have the capacity.
• 11:04
  When actually sometimes you just have to show up, and when you do show up, you feel so much better on the other side than if you'd have allowed yourself to not.
• 11:11
  It's about responding instead of controlling, it's about understanding how we feel in each moment rather than trying to control how we feel in each moment.
• 11:18
  It's about looking at patterns over months rather than in moments.
• 11:22
  It's about understanding how you've shown up consistently and what's been showing up in your body consistently over a matter of like three to six months rather than looking at each symptom in each and every moment and trying to change it there and then.
• 11:35
  And it's really hard because cycle syncing can be incredible.
• 11:37
  Cycle syncing has changed so many women's lives and it's given them the empowerment to live with their cycle and actually the awareness to live by their cycle.
• 11:46
  And I think having the awareness of how your cycle works is one of the most important things you can do as a woman.
• 11:52
  Understanding where you are in your cycle, whether you're bleeding, whether you're ovulating, what is going on inside your body is a really crucial piece of information.
• 11:59
  Just have that awareness, but it doesn't have to control your life because your cycle isn't the whole picture, it isn't everything.
• 12:06
  There are so many other factors that come into our lives and come into how we feel in each and every moment that your cycle is not the number one show.
• 12:14
  Because not every emotion is a hormonal response, not every bad day is your luteal phase, and not every productive day is in your follicular phase.
• 12:22
  You are allowed to be a human being, you are allowed to ebb and flow however you see fit, not just how your cycle tells you you should.
• 12:31
  I think that's the biggest thing to remember is that yes, there are these guidelines, there are these things we should do and shouldn't do, but you know what?
• 12:38
  You just have to throw it all out and say, fuck it.
• 12:40
  What does my body want me to do?
• 12:42
  How do I feel in this moment?
• 12:44
  What do I want to do?
• 12:45
  How do I want to show up?
• 12:46
  What works for me?
• 12:49
  And that's just what you have to do.
• 12:50
  You have to follow your own instinct and your own gut decisions and listen to your body, no one else's.
• 12:56
  Because nobody knows your body like you do.
• 12:58
  Nobody knows how you should show up like you do.
• 13:01
  Because your cycle is information, not instruction.
• 13:04
  And if cycle syncing has helped you, then that's incredible because this is a great skill that you can use and call upon each time you're in each different season.
• 13:12
  But if cycle syncing hasn't worked for you, and if it's made you feel like you're just doing everything wrong, and it's just another set of rules that you have to follow, then maybe it isn't about learning your cycle and syncing your life to your cycle.
• 13:24
  Maybe it's just about listening to your body and understanding what your body needs from you in each and every moment because it's going to need something different.
• 13:32
  And in a roundabout way, this has been the greatest gift.
• 13:36
  I know I've learned the hard way, and I know I have a long way to go before I get my body back to the way I know that it should feel.
• 13:44
  But cycle syncing has given me the greatest gift.
• 13:46
  It's reminded me that everything I need is already within me.
• 13:50
  I don't need to outsource anything.
• 13:52
  And cycle syncing, psycho awareness, mental psycho awareness isn't about syncing my life to my cycle.
• 13:58
  It's about listening to my body.
• 14:00
  And that's the most important thing you can do.
• 14:02
  Listen to your body in each and every moment.
• 14:05
  Show up for the way that makes you feel good, no one else.
• 14:08
  Eat how you want to eat, live how you want to live, love how you want to love, play how you want to play, laugh how you want to laugh, work how you want to work, do everything for you because this is your chance and your shot and your life.
• 14:23
  And you know what?
• 14:24
  Everyone's gonna have an opinion, but fuck their opinion because the only thing that matters is how you want to show up.
• 14:30
  So that is why I think cycle syncing has fucked my cycle and how I am going to unfuck my cycle and unfuck my rhythm through listening to my body and understanding what she needs and showing up for her and honouring her rather than trying to monitor her.
• 14:46
  So that concludes today's episode.
• 14:48
  Thank you so much for listening.
• 14:50
  If you are new to the Good Girl Abillion podcast, make sure to come and follow us on Instagram at the Cyclica and subscribe or follow wherever you're listening to the podcast.
• 14:59
  Thank you again so much for listening.
• 15:01
  And if this episode resonated with you, then make sure to share it with the girls who need to hear this message the most.
• 15:06
  Because we are not supposed to live how the wellness industry has told us we should live.
• 15:11
  We need to be living how we want to live in each and every moment, and listening to our body and showing up as we are, coming as we are every single day.
• 15:20
  So thank you again so much for listening.
• 15:22
  Make sure to subscribe and follow for all future episodes, and I will see you again next week.
• 15:27
  As always, all my love.