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How to Reclaim Your Confidence and Live Your Best Life! · Mortgage Marketing Radio

0:00
In today's highly competitive mortgage industry, building profitable relationships with
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the real estate agents is essential for success.
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However, finding effective ways to secure agent relationships can be a challenge.
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With so many mortgage loan originators vying for the attention of real estate agents, it
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can be difficult to stand out and establish meaningful connections.
0:20
Our new case study featuring loan officer Chris Cogill is a must-read.
0:25
Chris has closed a remarkable 36 million in funded loans from agent referrals.
0:31
And in this case study, he shares his proven strategies for building strong relationships
0:34
with real estate agents and leveraging those relationships to drive more business.
0:39
To get your hands on this resource, head over to LOKestudy.com and download your free copy
0:45
of the case study today.
0:47
You'll find actionable insights and practical tips that Chris used to close 36 million
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in funded loans from agent referrals and how you can, too.
0:56
Don't miss out.
0:57
Go check it out right now.
0:58
Visit LOKestudy.com and download your free copy today.
1:22
For a post of mortgage marketing radio podcast where we help loan officers get more agent
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referrals so they can become the go-to lender in their market.
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How do we do that?
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We help originators implement a proven system for closing more loans without having a cold
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call.
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Agents pay for leads, chase, beg, borrow and talk to agents who don't want to talk to you.
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We lead with education.
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We deliver relevant content that agents want to learn more about so that we can attract
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the right agents to us and be in control of the conversations that lead to conversions
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and relationships.
2:01
You can learn more at mortgagemarketing.pro if you want to check it out.
2:06
You've obviously heard me talking about it by now, sharing some of the success stories
2:09
here.
2:10
I've got to share one from one of our power users, longtime member Liz LaFore, shout
2:16
out what's up.
2:17
Liz is doing a class truth about VA loans, 57 registered, Instagram, part one, 40 registered,
2:25
Instagram, part two, 12 registered.
2:27
She says don't underestimate the power of teaching classes.
2:30
Folks, don't underestimate the power of a personal brand when it comes to you being
2:35
chosen.
2:36
Why should a local realtor choose you?
2:40
Beyond the basics of your professional, you respond in a timely manner.
2:44
You got good rates, good product service, right?
2:46
You've heard it all before.
2:47
Why else should I choose to work with you?
2:49
We need a sharper edge competitive advantage in today's market and I will debate anyone
2:54
anytime, anywhere that there is no more competitive advantage than helping others get what they
2:58
want by being a higher and greater service value.
3:02
Just like you probably heard on the previous podcast episode, if you've not yet listened
3:06
to it, my interview with Wally Ellibary who produced 200 million plus in funding in 2022,
3:13
he talks a lot about how he has taken ownership of becoming a coach for mega teams, real estate
3:19
agents.
3:20
Yes, teaching classes, delivering relevant content that helps them in their business.
3:25
That's how he did it.
3:27
Make sure you listen to that episode if you haven't.
3:30
So this week, what are we talking about?
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I am thrilled to bring this conversation to you, a conversation that's near and dear to
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my heart.
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Do you ever struggle with confidence?
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Does that, do you have doubts, fears getting in the way of whether you take action or not,
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whether you follow through?
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Are doubts and fears getting in the way of your happiness and success?
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Well, today's conversation is all about empowering confidence in you and helping you be more
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confident.
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My special guest is Netta Lena.
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She is the founder and CEO of Rise Up for You, a number one best selling author, leadership
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and career confidence coach, and two times TEDx motivational speaker.
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She's toured the world as a singer.
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She has a master's degree in executive leadership.
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She's coached and mentored over 50,000 individuals around the world on self-improvement, career
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strategy and soft skills.
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Her company Rise Up has been featured worldwide, work with such brand as CBS, Google, various
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Fortune 500 companies, and a tons of small businesses in over 50 countries.
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She's been awarded 40 under 40 professionals in my old hometown of Orange County, California.
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We have an influence for entrepreneurship in 2021, keynote speaker award for the Lebanese
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Collegiate Network, and more and more and more.
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Look, confidence I think is something that at some point in our lives we all struggle
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with at varying degrees, and I am sharing with you that I have struggled with that as
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well in posture syndrome, call it whatever you want.
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And so the conversation today with Netta dives deep into how we can be more confident,
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how we can take ownership of our power, enhancing our emotional intelligence and communication
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skills so we can be more confident, transform our lives that is enjoying.
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Let's get into this week's show.
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Netta, welcome to the show.
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Thank you so much for having me.
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It's an honor to be here.
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It's an honor to have you.
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And I'm really looking forward to this conversation based on the previous chat we had.
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So for those who aren't aware of you, long she tell us who are you.
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What do you do?
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Yeah.
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Thank you.
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So I'm the CEO and founder of Rise Up For You, two time TEDx speaker, number one best
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selling author, and my organization gets the great honor of working with companies and
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individuals around the world who are in 50 countries, helping them with soft skills.
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So all things human skills, emotional intelligence, confidence, leadership, communication, really
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what I like to call the power skills, the most important skills we need.
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Mm.
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Power skills.
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And when you and I talked earlier, we connected on this idea of confidence.
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Yeah.
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And I was doing a little research prior to this and this is why I think this is such a
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great conversation.
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Why don't we start with this?
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First of all, why do many, if not most, of us struggle with confidence at some level?
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Yeah, that's a great question.
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So actually, let me just give you a little bit of statistics before we jump into that.
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My company, about a year ago today, 2021, my company, Rise Up For You, we asked 2000
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working professionals, so not for a load of people that were in the workforce actively
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working with their number one challenge was 83% of self confidence.
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That is a huge number, that their number one challenge is self confidence.
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So things that fall under that perfectionist mindset, imposter syndrome, not feeling enough,
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self doubt that cripples the ability to take action.
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So it sabotages them.
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So that's a huge number.
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So now if you think about it, if you own a company, you run a company or you're a professional
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in a company, imagine what that can do to communication, your ability to sell the clients, your ability
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just to take forward action and be your best.
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So just staggering that number, and that's why I wrote a whole book on it, because I think
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that as a society now answering your question, we've really been taught the wrong definition
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of what confidence is.
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Most of us our entire life has been built to build what I call or have been taught to
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build what I call micro confidence, and I talk about this in my book.
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Micro confidence meaning that we've been taught to build confidence in categories or competencies.
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I think about it when you go to K through 12 school, you go to university, you build confidence
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in a skill, right, or an area, I'm confident in math, I'm confident in PE history, whatever
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it is.
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But we're never really taught to build what I call macro confidence, which is confidence
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in your belief and ability to learn confidence to move forward and take action, even despite
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not knowing all the skills, right, and inner belief that you are enough simply because you
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exist and everything else you can learn.
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The challenge is that because we've been taught this opposite way, most individuals, they
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grow up defining themselves based off of these external things, your job, your title, your
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degree, your certificate, and the challenges is those things aren't sustainable.
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So when something like a pandemic happens, or when you lose someone or you go through
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a divorce or you lose your job or whatever, and those external things fall away, let's
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talk about artificial intelligence that's coming and half of our degrees aren't going
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to matter in 10 years from now, when all those things go away, our self identity and
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our self confidence also comes crashing down because we built it on all of these things.
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And that's why so many of us struggle with confidence because we've been taught the
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wrong way, not to mention our childhood, right, and our past experiences that have either
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validated or taken away the thoughts about ourselves, whether they're positive or negative.
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All right, I like that.
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And I know there's another part to the confidence puzzle, but before we go there, it made me
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really curious as listening to you as to why this is your mission and purpose, passion.
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Why is helping the world become more confident?
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Well, you know, your thing, you know, yeah, it's a good question.
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No one's ever asked me that one.
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Get at it early here.
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Yeah, you know what, ever since I can remember, even when I was in high school, I always
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had this mentality, if I can do it, how can you can't do it?
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Like even with my friends in class, right, like, well, I just did this, you can do it too.
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Like there was always like, hey, we could do it, like tapping into your potential, really.
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And so my big question in life was always, you know, how come people aren't using their
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potential, right?
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So the behavior is that they're not using their potential, they're not taking action,
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they're not moving forward.
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So my question was always, what's the cause of that behavior?
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And after being a performer, I toured around the world internationally as a singer, doing
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musical theater.
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And I always say that I used to walk in tune with hundreds of amazing singers.
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And I was always the best performer.
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I always got the center stage spot, but I was never the best singer.
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So you see they had better technique than me.
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Some of them had celebrity parents that were musicians like since the 19, early 1900s,
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like amazing.
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And yet I was always center stage and they weren't tapping into their potential.
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And then I went on and I became an executive and I had 200 people under me when I was 27.
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And all these amazing people with PhDs and master's degrees, they still weren't tapping
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into their potential, right?
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Their behavior wasn't forward moving, they weren't taking action.
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So what's behind that behavior?
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And I started doing research and having conversations and coaching even before I built this company,
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right?
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Just free, just like mentoring.
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And it always came down to this not feeling enough in a lack of self-confidence.
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And that's when I realized in my late 20s, I was like, this is a problem.
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I saw it as a performer, saw it when I was in high school, I see it as an executive and
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something's got to be done because it's a big problem for most challenges today.
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So you're saying you had more confidence than others in those situations?
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I'm saying that I've been blessed with an amazing childhood that validated myself worth
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and self-love and taught me how to have that at a young age.
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And I think that because there's a lot of confidence crushers, okay?
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So there's things that crushed your confidence.
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There's two schools of thought.
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Some people say you're born with confidence, okay?
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Either you have it or you don't.
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And other people say, no, you're not born with confidence, you build confidence.
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And I'm right in the middle, I believe it's both.
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I believe that you're born with confidence when you think about babies, when you think
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about children, like they're limitless in their mind.
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They come into this world and they just do whatever they want.
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They say whatever they want.
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But then that nurture side starts to take over, right?
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The parenting, your childhood, going to school, friends, teachers, you can't do this.
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Who said you're good enough for that?
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And then little before you know, your confidence starts to diminish.
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So we say that there's a couple of confidence crushers.
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One is your childhood, you're upbringing, okay?
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Another is society, right?
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Social stigma, also culture, right?
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We say that romance is a confidence crusher.
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It's in its own category because it sparks different chemicals in you, right?
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And then for a very, very, very, very small percentage of genetic, but that's a very small
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percentage according to research.
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So all of those things impact how you feel about yourself and everybody's dealt with
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a different cart, right?
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Different cards.
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So for me, I was blessed enough that I was dealt with some really great cards early
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on.
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I was born into a family where my parents were amazing and they always taught my brothers
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and I to love ourselves.
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That was like the number one thing and we were never below anybody and we were never
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above anyone.
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Like we're all humans, we're all be kind and always love yourself and always push your
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potential.
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We even taught that early, early on.
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And so that kind of existed in me already and so when I went through some trauma and hard
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things in my life, in my head, I was already like, no, that's not true because my whole
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life I've taught this other thing.
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So that's a belief I can't accept, it's not my belief.
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What would be an example of, if you can, as a parent, how you could instill the confidence
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in a child, and I know it varies based on age, but I want to make sure it's like, you
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know, where you don't cross over into delusion, you know what I mean?
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That's a good question.
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Yeah, and I'm not a parent, right?
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So I'm speaking from my own experience of a child that has parents, right?
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That had parents, both of my parents unfortunately passed away.
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But the one thing that I remember about my parents that I think was special is that they
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taught my brothers and I to have confidence for ourselves.
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It was never get good grades because of A, B, C, and D, right?
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Then you're going to go to college and you're going to get a good job and the boss is going
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to validate you love it was never because of that.
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I remember my dad would always say, I remember one time in particular, I was in high school
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and I brought home an A minus.
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And my dad was, my dad was an immigrant.
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He came from Lebanon with $20 in his pocket.
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He worked three jobs like poor, came from nothing to work his way up.
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So I remember I brought home an A minus and he was like, shoe, that means what, Arabic,
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what's this A minus?
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My dad, that A minus is pretty good.
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It's like, but why not the A plus?
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I'm like, well, A minus is great.
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He's like, but do you have the ability in yourself to get the A plus?
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Yeah.
15:18
Well, then why did you sell yourself short?
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Why didn't you push your ability and get the A plus?
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And I just remember thinking that and like, well, yeah, why didn't I put my best
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foot forward if I knew I really could get it?
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If I could do it, why didn't I?
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It was never about like the greater the validation.
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It was just like, if it's in you, why don't you use it?
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And that's what my parents taught us that I think was really special,
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opposed to doing things because maybe of cultural stigma or society or whatever, right?
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Or getting these accolades.
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It was never a thing of you need to be good for these people.
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It was always be good for you because at the end of the day,
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you have to put your own head on the pillow at night.
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And that's what they always taught us.
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It was about doing the best that you could do.
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Doing the best that you can do.
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And it really served us.
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And I saw this a lot and I talk about this when I was a performer.
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I remember going on tour with 50 people at a time, right?
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Each tour was about three and a half months long, 50 people on a cast.
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And when the two directors that created the show and casted the tours,
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they only came out for about two weeks out of the tour.
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You wouldn't believe how many people, I would say about 45 out of 50 people on that tour,
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the other 10 weeks, they were mediocre.
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They didn't put their best foot forward.
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The day those directors got on tour because they knew that they were now being watched
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and that they would potentially be casted for the next tour,
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it was like, boom, a whole new level of performance,
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a whole new level of showing up.
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And I would always be so frustrated with, where did that come from?
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Where is that the other 10 weeks of the tour when we were performing?
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Why all of a sudden is it out now?
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It's because they wanted to be validated by the directors.
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They wanted to get recasted for a show.
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It wasn't for them in being their best.
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It was because there was something else that they wanted.
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Hmm, wow.
17:17
All right, I'm going to put a pin in that for a moment
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because I want to go back to the report card or that example.
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Yeah.
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What would, and maybe this did happen,
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but how about if you had come home with a B,
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but you said, but I tried my best.
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Yeah, I mean, my parents were always very understanding in that way.
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But the thing is is that, and this is why I think it's so important
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as parents is we can't always see what we have in ourselves.
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And that's why my parents were amazing
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because they were like your personal board, right?
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And even now I have my own personal board.
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Even now with all the work that I do,
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I can't see my full potential.
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I push myself as much as I can.
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And then there's always that outside person that's like,
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I think you can go a little bit more
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or there's something in you that you can't see in you
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that then continues to push you.
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So the great thing about my parents as well
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that also like the confidence was communication.
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Like they were very good at communicating with us,
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even though it wasn't easy,
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like it was challenging for my dad
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as a Middle Eastern man to communicate,
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but he had a growth mindset, right?
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And so there was always, if I looked at him and I was like,
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no, I don't understand that.
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Then he would try to re-explain it, right?
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So it wasn't a my way of the highway situation?
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It was sometimes, because they taught us to have confidence,
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then the older we got, he'd be like,
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no, I don't like that answer, right?
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Like tell me, give me a reason.
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Yes, yes, yes, and then sooner or later,
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he was like, okay, like I can't give that answer.
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Let's have a conversation.
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And that's how it kind of evolved.
18:53
Interesting, that's cool.
18:54
Thank you for kind of going,
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going that, because there's a lot of people
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who are parents, and then we understand.
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But I do think, like, and this is really interesting is,
19:04
I hear these stories of like these parents
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who put the pressure on their kids to perform.
19:09
Yeah.
19:10
Not for the kid.
19:12
Bingo.
19:13
For the parents.
19:14
Bingo.
19:15
Is there living vicariously, or this is about
19:17
like you're representing us?
19:19
Yeah.
19:20
I've heard that line set a few times.
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When you go out into the world,
19:23
you're not just representing you,
19:24
you're representing our family.
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So I need you to perform,
19:27
and that could just be behave, comply, whatever.
19:30
Yeah.
19:31
And that never sat with me well,
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because I was always like, no, I get it.
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But I'm actually here just for me, you know what I mean?
19:37
Like whatever I do, if that has a reflection on you,
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correct me if I'm wrong,
19:42
that's more about how you're perceiving it.
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100%.
19:45
100%.
19:45
You're absolutely right.
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And that, and I'm grateful for my parents every day
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because they didn't come from that place.
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They didn't come from that place at all,
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even if they didn't agree with us.
19:54
Like when I became a performer,
19:55
my dad was like, why?
19:58
That'd go be a doctor.
20:00
Oh yeah.
20:01
You know, go and be a lawyer
20:02
because I had really good grades.
20:04
And I was like, no, you taught me to be confident
20:06
and love myself.
20:07
And this is what I want to do.
20:08
And this is what I'm going to do.
20:10
And I did and he accepted it.
20:12
And then he would start coming to my shows,
20:14
he went to every show, same thing.
20:16
He'd be like, you're saying really amazing,
20:18
but I think you can hold that note longer.
20:20
Try it next time.
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And then I would try it and I would hold it longer.
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And he'd be like, that was amazing.
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So it was, it was an evolution.
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And like I said, I'm grateful for it.
20:30
And that's something that's a big contributor
20:32
for people's confidence, for sure.
20:35
Yeah, let's go back to confidence
20:36
because I think it's something,
20:38
we all struggle with to some degree.
20:40
Like we said at the beginning,
20:42
some much more than others.
20:43
I know you talk about imposter syndrome.
20:45
Look at my notes here.
20:46
Imposter syndrome affects South, South, doubt,
20:50
which then affects our potential, right?
20:52
Yeah, yeah, all of the above.
20:55
And is the imposter syndrome amplified more today
21:00
because of social media?
21:04
I think it's amplified more today
21:05
because there's language around it.
21:08
Like 10 years ago, that word imposter syndrome,
21:11
no one ever heard of it.
21:12
What is that?
21:12
Yeah, exactly.
21:13
And I think it's just recently,
21:15
maybe like the last year or two years,
21:17
that there's a language that's put to it.
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And so people can now identify it.
21:21
They're like, oh, I feel that way.
21:23
So I must have imposter syndrome, right?
21:25
Which by the way, I really want to clarify
21:27
because this is often misconstrued.
21:29
Everything that I'm talking about,
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imposter syndrome, perfectionist mindset,
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it's across the board with genders.
21:34
And it's also across the board
21:36
with industries and job role and title, right?
21:39
So it's not entry level position.
21:41
It's not just women.
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I talk to a lot of men that struggle with imposter syndrome.
21:45
Perfectionist mindset.
21:47
It's across the board.
21:48
We just often hear a narrative
21:50
that's more towards women, but it's everyone.
21:53
And that imposter syndrome of feeling like
21:56
you've been put into a role or you're doing something
21:59
but maybe you don't deserve it.
22:01
Maybe you don't add value.
22:02
Someone's going to find out that you're a fraud.
22:04
Someone's going to find out that you shouldn't be
22:06
in that position and they're going to catch you, right?
22:09
First, I'm feeling that you don't deserve to be
22:11
where you are.
22:12
Again, there's that self-confidence, right?
22:13
That you're not enough to be there.
22:16
Am I good enough, yeah?
22:17
Am I good enough, right?
22:19
It's so funny you say that because I think
22:20
in the context of business and so a lot of our listeners
22:23
are, you know, quote, self-employed business owners,
22:26
if you will,
22:28
like that, it is based on performance.
22:30
Number one, we are kind of judged
22:34
on how successfully we execute our outcome, right?
22:37
Which is to sell the house, to close the loan on time,
22:39
whatever.
22:40
And so it is a lot of performance based.
22:43
And is that okay?
22:46
Like that that's part of the equation
22:49
for how you succeed in this role?
22:51
Performance.
22:52
Yeah.
22:53
I think it has to be, right?
22:54
Because I think that, you know,
22:57
especially as an entrepreneur or being self-employed,
22:59
really say those kind of things,
23:01
there are benchmarks, right?
23:02
That goes back to what you were saying
23:04
about being delusional.
23:05
That's not, we can't live in a world where there's not
23:07
benchmarks and we can't measure our results, right?
23:10
But what I can tell you is that the self-confidence
23:13
and how you feel about yourself in integrity
23:15
and those human skills,
23:17
they'll drive performance much higher, right?
23:20
Because again, it's not, and, you know,
23:23
selling a house is one thing,
23:25
but being confident enough to self-promote
23:27
and be confident that you're gonna be able
23:29
to get that deal done,
23:30
that you're gonna be able to build these relationships.
23:32
It's a whole new level, the way that you show up, right?
23:36
Giving confidence in the client
23:38
that you're gonna get it done.
23:39
All of those things are different common denominators
23:42
that make people say, I'm gonna work with you.
23:45
And I always talk about this, you know,
23:47
being seen, being heard and being relevant in a world
23:50
where there's millions of real estate agents.
23:52
There's millions of people that do what I do.
23:54
There's millions of coaches like
23:56
every single industry is inundated, right?
23:59
Meaning that the person next door
24:00
is probably doing the same thing,
24:02
but it's those power skills and in particular,
24:05
the confidence and making people trust
24:08
and feel the confidence in you
24:09
that's gonna get them say, I think this person's the one,
24:11
they're gonna get it done, right?
24:13
They're gonna be loyal, they're gonna be committed to me.
24:16
They build relationships, they're kind, they have integrity,
24:20
all of those things that move past the technical skill.
24:23
Well, how do we convey that more effectively?
24:25
It starts from within I assume, right?
24:27
It starts with within, it starts with person pressions
24:30
how you show up, that's a big one.
24:33
That's a big one that often because, you know,
24:34
that's, I would say like the shallow confidence,
24:37
is like, if I'm just looking at you,
24:39
what's the energy and aura that I get, right?
24:42
How do I show up?
24:43
We know according to research within a 10th of a second,
24:45
someone makes a judgment about you, right?
24:48
So if you're a real estate agent
24:50
and let's say you crush it,
24:51
but you show up in slippers,
24:53
not really dressed for the occasion,
24:55
you're slouched over, maybe you're more timid,
24:57
you're not gonna have that same feeling
24:59
as a person that walks in that looks really put together
25:02
that walks up to that says, hi, my name is Ned,
25:05
it's an honor for me to represent you.
25:07
Let's go find that best house for you.
25:10
Automatically you're like, ah, let's go.
25:14
So what if somebody's newer in their role
25:16
or they're up against somebody
25:17
who's got more experience per se, right?
25:19
How, what are some of the things we could do
25:22
to feel more confident?
25:24
You know, I don't like the whole fake it to your make it thing,
25:27
but what are some of the things we could do
25:28
to feel more confident if we are, right?
25:30
Kind of struggling with that.
25:32
I would say maybe just a little bit more research, right?
25:35
So that when you are in a space,
25:37
you know what you're talking about, right?
25:39
You know, get some results.
25:41
Yeah, and just like, you know,
25:43
when I first started building this business, for example,
25:47
you know, I was confident as a person,
25:49
but something that I did to be even more confident
25:52
is I studied a lot and I researched
25:54
so that when I hopped on a call or I did a podcast
25:57
and they asked a question, I had the tools to respond, right?
26:02
I had the tools even today as a keynote speaker.
26:05
You'd be surprised you offer, maybe you wouldn't be.
26:08
How many keynotes will say I won't do Q&A?
26:11
Because they want to go up there
26:12
and they just want to do like the PowerPoint
26:13
or whatever they scripted.
26:15
And I'm the opposite.
26:16
I'm like, I won't do a keynote
26:17
unless you give me time to do Q&A
26:19
because I need the audience to know
26:21
that I can think off the top of my head
26:23
and that I've researched things
26:25
that I can do in real time, just like this podcast, right?
26:28
Like we didn't script this out.
26:31
Because we're confident on our topic, which, all right.
26:34
So let me then ask you about in this world of social media,
26:37
you're obviously looking to build a brand
26:39
and expand your reach on social
26:41
as I'm sure you're well aware,
26:44
especially when you get in the 40 plus age group,
26:47
the confidence there seems to drop off big time
26:52
because in the 40, this is what I've seen personally
26:54
working with a lot of people who are in that age group
26:56
who are like real estate agents, mortgage professionals,
26:59
showing up in person, face to face,
27:01
cool, confident as hell.
27:03
You make me hold this thing up and record a video?
27:07
Whoa, like my confidence goes down.
27:09
Yeah.
27:10
You have experienced that?
27:11
Seeing it?
27:12
I've seen it in my clients.
27:13
Yeah, but see that's, there's something,
27:16
there's in a belief around doing video, right?
27:19
And there's a belief around when I put this out there,
27:23
what are people going to say?
27:24
What if it's not perfect?
27:25
Yeah, I'd human.
27:26
Judgment.
27:27
That's the belief that, like with my clients,
27:29
I'm like, you've got to break that.
27:31
You just put on the camera.
27:32
I always say like, just think that you're adding value
27:35
to someone that's right in front of you.
27:37
This camera, you're just adding value to it, right?
27:40
Don't think of the camera as,
27:41
I'm going to back to go on video
27:42
and it's got to be perfect.
27:44
Just turn on the video and pretend that there's
27:46
somebody on the other side,
27:48
maybe it's the client and you're like, listen,
27:49
here's one strategy I'm going to share with you today
27:51
that's going to really make an impact and then talk.
27:54
You know, don't get into your head about like,
27:56
I'm going on video because then that's when people are like,
28:00
they're going to judge me.
28:00
What if it's not perfect?
28:02
What if they start looking at my videos and thinking like,
28:05
who is this person and influencer?
28:07
These are the things that I hear all the time
28:08
from my clients, right?
28:09
Who do you think you are?
28:10
Who do you think you are doing these videos and animation?
28:14
And I always say just come from a place of value.
28:17
Just you're going to get on camera
28:18
and you're just going to add value
28:19
because people need what you have.
28:22
And if they're not an expert in real estate or mortgage,
28:26
trust me, they really need what you have
28:28
because they don't know this space, right?
28:30
And especially right now, there's a lot going on.
28:32
So I mean, you can go watch some of my videos
28:35
on social media.
28:36
Sometimes I step up on a word
28:38
or I say the wrong word or I say I'm
28:42
and I don't delete it.
28:43
I just put it out there.
28:44
I'm like, this is all I think that just take it, right?
28:47
And that's it.
28:49
It's not about perfection, it's about progress.
28:52
Mm, that's a good one.
28:54
That's a good one.
28:55
You referenced earlier about doing the research, right?
28:57
Getting information.
29:01
And what I wrote down a couple of things is
29:04
that you'll be rewarded in public
29:06
for what you do in private.
29:09
Assuming it's good things, right?
29:10
So by keeping it on the right line here,
29:14
is this made me think of like when the research
29:16
and having knowledge and for those that are listening,
29:18
like it'll give you the context of this.
29:19
You've obviously seen there's been a shift
29:21
in the real estate market, things have gone kind of bananas.
29:25
And there's a lot of people who have been able to do well
29:29
because of the market, yet they don't have the depth
29:32
of knowledge to use your word research
29:37
or information to now show up confidently.
29:40
Yeah.
29:41
Makes sense?
29:42
Yeah.
29:43
And I think it's got to be a combination of both.
29:47
I think that if all you have is research and technical skill,
29:50
it's not enough.
29:52
I always say that you can have all the knowledge in the world,
29:56
but if you don't activate that knowledge, it's pointless.
29:58
It does nothing for you, right?
30:00
Now on the flip side, okay, here's where it's important.
30:04
You can have no skill, but a lot of confidence.
30:08
And in some ways, you can go further faster
30:11
because if you have the right confidence,
30:13
which is that macro confidence, which is growth mindset,
30:16
you believe in your ability to learn,
30:18
you're confident enough to build those skills
30:21
that then makes you like a solid package, right?
30:24
So I always talk about myself as a business owner.
30:27
I had that macro confidence that I talk about
30:29
in the beginning of the interview.
30:31
But I didn't know how to build a business.
30:33
My master's in leadership, executive leadership.
30:35
I didn't go to school for building a business.
30:37
I didn't know anything about building a website, none of that.
30:40
But I had the macro confidence to say,
30:43
but I believe I can learn it.
30:46
I can learn how to build a website.
30:48
I can learn how to build a podcast.
30:49
I can learn how to build a business.
30:51
I can research and study and figure out
30:52
what the world needs right now.
30:54
And then I built a business with $100
30:56
with no business degree.
30:57
And today we're in over 50 countries.
30:59
So you see that macro confidence
31:01
helped me build the micro confidence.
31:03
So you need both, this is what you're saying.
31:06
You need both.
31:07
But if you have that macro confidence,
31:10
that can go a lot further than just having micro confidence.
31:14
Well, and I think you might have opened up with this dose
31:16
that from what you've seen in the research, if I'm correct,
31:20
people tend to have or overly weighted on the micro versus the macro.
31:25
Yes.
31:26
And you would be surprised how many clients I ask.
31:30
If you didn't have a job, got for bit,
31:31
if your title got taken away, if your house got taken away,
31:34
if your money got taken away, who are you?
31:37
And they stare at me and they're like,
31:41
I'm like, who are you?
31:43
They're like, well, I'm a real estate agent.
31:46
I'm like, no, that's a role.
31:47
That's a career.
31:48
Who are you?
31:51
And they can't answer.
31:54
They have to wait till they come back to the next coaching session.
31:56
They're like, I need time to think about it.
31:59
And when somebody does get to that answer,
32:03
what are some of the examples that are not a role-based?
32:06
It's usually things inside that you can't get in.
32:10
I'm a confident person.
32:11
I'm a confident, I'm kind, I'm resilient.
32:14
I'm a woman that I'm proud to look at in the morning when I wake up.
32:18
Right, it's those things that are inside
32:22
that we have to find within,
32:23
that we can't go get a degree or build a skill in.
32:27
Is this like that Saturday at Life's Get,
32:28
where they go?
32:29
Dog-gun at people like me.
32:31
I don't know, I haven't seen it.
32:35
Some people know I'm talking about it.
32:38
It's in the mirror and he says those positive affirmations
32:41
to himself and then he ends it with.
32:42
And dog-gun at people like me.
32:44
That's funny.
32:46
That's a good one.
32:47
All right, so this is all very, very critical
32:49
because without self-confidence, the macro-kind,
32:55
like I'm going back to this word I wrote down,
32:57
which is human potential.
32:58
Like that's, it's the governor, right?
33:02
Like on the gas pedal, it limits self-potential
33:05
because if you don't have the confidence to continue
33:07
to pursue, move forward.
33:09
Yes, take action, take action.
33:11
And that's not to say that you won't have self-doubt.
33:15
That's not to say that you won't have fear, okay?
33:18
So self-confidence is an eliminate, all of that.
33:21
But what self-confidence does is it regulates your behaviors
33:26
so that you don't sabotage yourself.
33:28
So don't, you can have self-doubt,
33:30
but don't let it sabotage you.
33:32
I always say, you know, you can have fear.
33:34
Let fear get in the car.
33:36
But don't let fear take the wheel.
33:39
Because the second that sucker takes the wheel,
33:40
it's going to drive you into a wall
33:42
or it's going to make you take a U-turn
33:44
in a direction you don't want to go into.
33:46
So let fear in the car, put the little seat belt on it.
33:49
And say, you're going to stay right there
33:50
and you keep your hands on the wheel and keep going
33:53
even with fear next to you.
33:55
So it's not about eliminating negative thoughts
33:58
and self-doubt, it's about managing it
34:00
so that it doesn't sabotage your movement forward.
34:04
All right, so just popped in my head that old saying,
34:07
do the thing you fear the most in the death of fear is certain.
34:10
How do you feel about that?
34:12
Say one more time for me.
34:13
Do the thing you fear the most in the death of fear is certain.
34:18
Mm.
34:19
I don't know.
34:22
I think I was frankly on Roosevelt.
34:25
There's somebody, but.
34:27
Yeah, I mean, I think people have fear
34:29
in like a number of different areas, right?
34:31
And most people today, the fear that they have is not,
34:35
you know, like jumping off a building,
34:36
it's fear that people are going to make fun of me.
34:38
It's fear that I'm going to fail.
34:39
It's fear that I'm not going to get,
34:42
you know, what I want when I do A, B, C, and D, right?
34:45
Again, it's all related to like the self.
34:49
All right, and I may be asking this question again,
34:53
but what are some of the tools or techniques?
34:57
How do you help people, right, overcome that?
35:00
Yeah, that's a great push.
35:01
You didn't ask this, it's a great.
35:02
So I have a blueprint for the four Bs
35:06
that I'm going to break down for everybody here.
35:07
Okay, cool.
35:09
It's the hardest thing to do and doesn't happen overnight
35:12
and you need to keep doing it.
35:13
So like I know people say words of affirmation, that's great.
35:16
But what you really need to do is break the behavior
35:20
and the belief of where it's coming from.
35:22
So the four Bs, the number one is the belief, okay?
35:24
So what's the belief that you have
35:26
that's getting in the way of your success?
35:28
Now we have a ton of beliefs.
35:31
So you can make a whole list of beliefs
35:33
that you have that are getting in the way.
35:35
I'm not good enough at my job.
35:37
Nobody likes me as a leader
35:39
because English is my second language.
35:40
I'm giving things that I've heard real life from clients, right?
35:44
I can't trust people because they're going to let me down.
35:47
Therefore, like I micromanaged my team, right?
35:49
So these are all these beliefs that people have
35:51
that are getting in the way of their success.
35:54
I can't be in a relationship because they're going to hurt me
35:56
and they're going to cheat on me again, right?
35:57
So these beliefs that we accumulate over time,
35:59
what's the belief?
36:01
Then the second B is the backstory.
36:03
Where did that belief come from?
36:07
And it might be from a number of places.
36:09
It could be that something happened in your childhood
36:13
that made you not feel good enough.
36:15
And then you went on to your first relationship
36:18
and something happened and then it validated
36:20
that not feeling good enough.
36:21
And then you went to your first job
36:23
and you had a leader that wasn't amazing
36:24
and then it revalidated that not feeling good enough, right?
36:27
So really try to understand what's the backstory of the belief.
36:31
Now the third B is the most important.
36:34
What's the behavior that it's causing?
36:37
Is it causing you not to raise your hand in the meeting
36:40
because you're scared?
36:41
Is it causing you not to go out there
36:44
and put yourself out there and network as a realistic agent
36:47
because you're afraid to network
36:49
or you're afraid of what people are going to think about you
36:51
or you're afraid of putting yourself out there?
36:53
Is it causing you not to be in a relationship?
36:56
Is it like what's the behavior that it's creating
36:59
and causing in you?
37:00
And then the fourth B is now how do we break it?
37:04
How do we break the belief so that we can shift the behavior?
37:09
And I always say like, have a notebook by you
37:11
and when a belief comes into your mind
37:14
that's creating hesitation, write it down.
37:17
Why do you have this belief?
37:18
Where's it coming from?
37:20
And how do you break it so that it doesn't make
37:22
the behavior a negative behavior?
37:24
It makes something that's for moving.
37:28
That's, they're all interconnected.
37:30
I can see I'm just looking at it.
37:31
I wrote all four of them down, both of them are connected.
37:34
Go ahead, Jeff.
37:37
I was just going to add them up.
37:38
Beliefs, backstory, behavior, and break it.
37:41
Yeah.
37:42
What most people don't really realize
37:45
is that their behaviors are drastically
37:47
shifted by their beliefs.
37:49
And that's why oftentimes when companies come to us
37:52
and they say, hey, we need you to work with our executive team
37:55
or with our leaders because they're
37:57
behaving in ways that aren't conducive to employee engagement
37:59
or they're behaving in ways that just aren't great for the team.
38:02
Oh, my, there's some beliefs in there.
38:04
We need to break down some beliefs because the beliefs
38:06
are what are what driving the behavior.
38:09
Yeah, it's really fascinating when you get into this stuff, too.
38:11
And I've spent a fair amount of time over the years
38:13
doing some personal development and 100% agree with you.
38:17
I mean, it just all, it just drives everything.
38:20
And I've spent a fair amount of time also hanging out
38:22
on what you call back story, also known as the story
38:25
we tell ourselves over and over again about that thing, right?
38:28
And that we need to be, we need it to be more self-aware.
38:33
Like when we are responding to a situation or reacting
38:38
based on some external stimulus, it's like,
38:41
I've tried to train myself and be like, pause, look inside,
38:45
hmm, why am I responding in that way to that situation?
38:48
What's coming up for me, you know?
38:50
And that's the emotional intelligence
38:52
that you're talking about, right?
38:54
That self-awareness, that self-management, the reflection,
38:57
that's the first half of emotional intelligence
39:00
which confidence falls under, right?
39:02
So that's how important confidence is,
39:04
is that in emotional intelligence, there's four pillars.
39:07
Under those four pillars are 18 competencies.
39:10
We could talk forever about this.
39:11
But that first pillar is self-awareness
39:14
and confidence is under that very first pillar.
39:17
That's how important it is.
39:18
It's right under that first pillar.
39:20
Wow, that's really cool.
39:22
That's really cool.
39:22
This is the secret to life stuff right here.
39:24
Oh yeah.
39:25
All right, so this has been a nice, you know,
39:30
crash course in how to become more confident
39:32
and live your full potential.
39:34
Yeah.
39:35
Probably the title for this episode.
39:37
Yes.
39:38
Made it happen right here.
39:39
All right, for those who want to connect with you more,
39:41
how would they do that?
39:42
Rise up for you everywhere, right?
39:45
We'll rise up for you.com.
39:46
They could go to our Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn,
39:48
rise up for you.
39:49
They can also connect with me, Netalina,
39:51
on Instagram and LinkedIn Facebook as well.
39:55
Yep, and we got a book, Rise Up for you.
39:57
Everything's under Rise Up for you.
39:59
We made it super simple for everybody.
40:01
And if it's okay, Geoff, I'd love to give a free gift
40:04
to everyone with the four skills
40:05
that we find are the most important, the human skills.
40:08
Please do.
40:09
Yeah.
40:09
So it's riseupfood.com, Ford Slash Success Kit.
40:13
And with all of our research, we found okay,
40:15
what are the most important things that people need?
40:17
The first is understanding the foundation of success for you.
40:20
So we have a whole like video module on that.
40:22
The second is all things confidence.
40:25
The third is emotional intelligence.
40:26
And the fourth is the power of your presence,
40:29
speaking how you show up.
40:31
So this success kit has all four of those modules
40:34
and they're totally free for people
40:36
to utilize and learn about.
40:38
Fantastic.
40:39
And I'm gonna make sure I put all the links
40:40
to all your stuff in the show notes.
40:42
Thank you.
40:43
That free success kit.
40:44
That's very generous of who we are grateful.
40:46
And I think no matter what,
40:47
people need to connect and engage with you,
40:49
two times TEDx speaker.
40:50
You've like you said, you're global, you're everywhere.
40:54
Yeah, we're grateful for that.
40:55
We're thankful.
40:56
Congratulations.
40:57
I want to thank you for making time out
40:58
of your busy schedule to share your message
41:01
of having more confidence in your life.
41:03
Thank you so much.
41:04
Thank you everybody.
41:05
You bet.
41:06
Listeners, you know what to do if you like this episode.
41:07
First of all, get to the links in the show notes
41:09
and then hey, leave us a review if you feel inclined.
41:12
We'll see you on the next one.
41:13
Bye for now.
41:44
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42:42
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42:43
You'll also get access to our weekly mastermind calls
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with top L.O.'s authors, speakers and coaches
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to learn the best strategies to grow your business
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right now in today's market.
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And as an extra bonus for limited time,
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for all new members, you'll get access
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to a database of 200 agents in your local market
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that have closed anywhere from eight to 50 transactions
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in the last 12 months.
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And we'll provide that list uploaded
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into our platform for you,
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so you can get off to a fast start
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in reaching actually productive agents.
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So what are you waiting for?
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You can check out more at mortgagedmarketing.pro,
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see more of the success stories there.
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And if you feel compelled to do so,
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book a call, we'll have a chat, we'll see if it's a fit.
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Don't miss out on this opportunity
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to take your mortgage business to the next level right now.
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Head over to mortgagedmarketing.pro.