Latest / Adult Child of Dysfunction / E 253: Calm Is a Skill: How to Lower Stress and Build Resilience Daily w Dr. Kate Lund

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E 253: Calm Is a Skill: How to Lower Stress and Build Resilience Daily w Dr. Kate Lund · Adult Child of Dysfunction

• 0:47
  Well,
• 0:47
  good
• 0:47
  morning,
• 0:47
  everybody,
• 0:48
  and
• 0:48
  welcome
• 0:48
  back
• 0:49
  to
• 0:49
  another
• 0:49
  episode
• 0:50
  of
• 0:50
  Adult
• 0:50
  Child
• 0:50
  of
• 0:51
  Dysfunction.
• 0:51
  Today
• 0:52
  we
• 0:52
  have
• 0:52
  with
• 0:52
  us
• 0:52
  Dr.
• 0:53
  Kate
• 0:53
  Lund.
• 0:54
  She
• 0:54
  is
• 0:54
  a
• 0:54
  licensed
• 0:55
  clinical
• 0:55
  psychologist,
• 0:56
  resilient
• 0:57
  expert,
• 0:58
  author
• 0:58
  and
• 0:58
  host
• 0:59
  of
• 0:59
  the
• 0:59
  Optimized
• 1:00
  Mind
• 1:00
  podcast.
• 1:01
  With
• 1:01
  specialized
• 1:02
  training
• 1:02
  from
• 1:03
  three
• 1:03
  Harvard
• 1:03
  Medical
• 1:04
  School
• 1:04
  affiliated
• 1:05
  hospitals
• 1:05
  and
• 1:06
  more
• 1:06
  than
• 1:06
  two
• 1:06
  decades
• 1:07
  of
• 1:07
  clinical
• 1:08
  practice,
• 1:08
  she
• 1:09
  helps
• 1:09
  parents,
• 1:10
  athletes,
• 1:10
  students,
• 1:11
  students
• 1:11
  and
• 1:11
  entrepreneurs
• 1:12
  thrive
• 1:12
  within
• 1:13
  their
• 1:14
  own
• 1:14
  unique
• 1:15
  contexts.
• 1:16
  Dr.
• 1:16
  Kate
• 1:16
  is
• 1:17
  the
• 1:17
  author
• 1:17
  of
• 1:17
  Bounce
• 1:18
  Help
• 1:18
  youp
• 1:19
  Children
• 1:19
  Build
• 1:19
  Resilience
• 1:20
  and
• 1:20
  Thrive
• 1:21
  in
• 1:21
  School,
• 1:21
  Sports
• 1:22
  and
• 1:22
  Life
• 1:23
  and
• 1:23
  Step
• 1:24
  the
• 1:24
  Keys
• 1:24
  to
• 1:25
  Resilient
• 1:25
  Parenting.
• 1:26
  She
• 1:26
  is
• 1:27
  also
• 1:27
  an
• 1:27
  active
• 1:28
  volunteer
• 1:28
  at
• 1:28
  Seattle
• 1:29
  Children's
• 1:29
  Hospital
• 1:30
  with
• 1:30
  her
• 1:30
  dog,
• 1:31
  dog
• 1:31
  Wally.
• 1:32
  I
• 1:32
  love
• 1:32
  that.
• 1:32
  Together
• 1:33
  they
• 1:33
  bring
• 1:33
  smiles
• 1:34
  to
• 1:34
  the
• 1:34
  faces
• 1:35
  of
• 1:35
  young
• 1:35
  patients
• 1:37
  facing
• 1:37
  difficult
• 1:37
  medical
• 1:38
  situations.
• 1:39
  Through
• 1:39
  her
• 1:40
  writing,
• 1:40
  speaking
• 1:41
  and
• 1:41
  clinical
• 1:42
  work,
• 1:42
  she
• 1:42
  empowers
• 1:43
  people
• 1:43
  to
• 1:44
  build
• 1:44
  resilience,
• 1:45
  manage
• 1:45
  stress,
• 1:46
  and
• 1:46
  unlock
• 1:47
  their
• 1:47
  potential.
• 1:48
  Doesn't
• 1:48
  that
• 1:48
  sound
• 1:49
  good
• 1:49
  when
• 1:49
  someone
• 1:49
  else
• 1:49
  reads
• 1:50
  your
• 1:50
  bio?
• 1:51
  Yeah,
• 1:52
  I
• 1:53
  love
• 1:53
  it.
• 1:53
  Well,
• 1:53
  welcome,
• 1:54
  Dr.
• 1:54
  Kate.
• 1:54
  How
• 1:55
  are
• 1:55
  you
• 1:55
  today?
• 1:56
  I'm
• 1:56
  great.
• 1:56
  And
• 1:56
  thank
• 1:57
  you
• 1:57
  so
• 1:57
  much
• 1:57
  for
• 1:57
  having
• 1:58
  me.
• 1:58
  I
• 1:58
  really
• 1:58
  appreciate
• 1:59
  it.
• 1:59
  Oh,
• 1:59
  you
• 1:59
  are
• 2:00
  very
• 2:00
  welcome.
• 2:00
  And
• 2:00
  I
• 2:01
  love
• 2:01
  the
• 2:01
  topic
• 2:02
  because
• 2:02
  I
• 2:03
  didn't
• 2:03
  read
• 2:03
  your
• 2:03
  bio
• 2:04
  until
• 2:04
  actually
• 2:05
  this
• 2:05
  morning.
• 2:05
  But
• 2:06
  I
• 2:06
  know
• 2:06
  you
• 2:06
  talk
• 2:06
  about
• 2:07
  resilience
• 2:07
  and
• 2:07
  that
• 2:07
  is
• 2:08
  just
• 2:08
  something
• 2:08
  that
• 2:08
  I
• 2:09
  feel
• 2:09
  like
• 2:10
  it's
• 2:10
  just
• 2:10
  not
• 2:10
  taught,
• 2:11
  it's
• 2:11
  just
• 2:12
  not
• 2:12
  ingrained
• 2:13
  in
• 2:13
  people.
• 2:13
  And
• 2:14
  we're
• 2:14
  in
• 2:14
  this
• 2:15
  kind
• 2:15
  of
• 2:15
  trauma
• 2:16
  reactive
• 2:16
  world
• 2:17
  where
• 2:17
  people
• 2:18
  hadn't
• 2:19
  been
• 2:19
  taught
• 2:19
  resilience.
• 2:20
  And
• 2:20
  I
• 2:21
  love
• 2:21
  the
• 2:21
  fact
• 2:21
  that
• 2:22
  there's
• 2:22
  people
• 2:22
  out
• 2:23
  there
• 2:23
  now
• 2:23
  teaching
• 2:23
  it.
• 2:24
  There's
• 2:24
  people
• 2:24
  out
• 2:24
  there
• 2:24
  showing
• 2:25
  people.
• 2:25
  It
• 2:25
  doesn't
• 2:26
  matter
• 2:26
  what
• 2:26
  you
• 2:26
  went
• 2:26
  through,
• 2:27
  you
• 2:27
  can
• 2:27
  get
• 2:27
  through
• 2:27
  it
• 2:28
  and
• 2:28
  come
• 2:28
  out
• 2:29
  stronger
• 2:29
  and
• 2:29
  happier
• 2:30
  and
• 2:31
  better
• 2:32
  in
• 2:33
  your
• 2:33
  own
• 2:33
  skin
• 2:33
  on
• 2:34
  the
• 2:34
  other
• 2:34
  side.
• 2:36
  So
• 2:37
  tell
• 2:37
  me.
• 2:37
  I'm
• 2:38
  going
• 2:38
  to
• 2:38
  just
• 2:38
  start
• 2:38
  off
• 2:38
  and
• 2:39
  we're
• 2:39
  going
• 2:39
  to
• 2:39
  jump
• 2:40
  right
• 2:40
  in
• 2:40
  because
• 2:40
  I
• 2:40
  know
• 2:40
  you
• 2:41
  have
• 2:41
  so
• 2:41
  much
• 2:41
  to
• 2:41
  share
• 2:41
  with
• 2:42
  people.
• 2:43
  Tell
• 2:43
  me
• 2:44
  why
• 2:44
  you
• 2:44
  think
• 2:45
  that.
• 2:46
  I
• 2:46
  mean,
• 2:46
  we
• 2:46
  all
• 2:46
  go
• 2:46
  through
• 2:47
  stuff.
• 2:47
  We
• 2:47
  all
• 2:48
  have
• 2:48
  these
• 2:48
  little
• 2:48
  T
• 2:49
  traumas,
• 2:49
  middle
• 2:50
  T
• 2:50
  traumas,
• 2:50
  and
• 2:50
  big
• 2:51
  T
• 2:51
  traumas.
• 2:52
  Why
• 2:52
  do
• 2:52
  you
• 2:52
  think
• 2:52
  it
• 2:53
  is
• 2:53
  that
• 2:53
  some
• 2:53
  people
• 2:54
  just
• 2:54
  naturally
• 2:55
  bounce
• 2:55
  back
• 2:56
  better
• 2:56
  than
• 2:56
  others?
• 2:57
  Yeah,
• 2:58
  it's
• 2:58
  such
• 2:58
  a
• 2:59
  great
• 2:59
  question.
• 2:59
  And
• 3:00
  it
• 3:00
  really
• 3:00
  has
• 3:00
  to
• 3:00
  do
• 3:01
  with
• 3:01
  the
• 3:01
  fact
• 3:02
  that
• 3:03
  we're
• 3:03
  all
• 3:03
  wired
• 3:03
  differently,
• 3:04
  dispositionally
• 3:05
  speaking.
• 3:06
  Some
• 3:06
  folks
• 3:07
  are
• 3:07
  just
• 3:07
  more
• 3:07
  poised
• 3:08
  to
• 3:09
  move
• 3:09
  through
• 3:09
  and
• 3:09
  beyond
• 3:10
  difficult
• 3:10
  situations
• 3:11
  a
• 3:11
  bit
• 3:12
  more
• 3:12
  easily.
• 3:12
  Some
• 3:13
  need
• 3:13
  a
• 3:13
  little
• 3:13
  bit
• 3:14
  more
• 3:14
  time
• 3:15
  and
• 3:15
  coaching.
• 3:16
  It's
• 3:16
  also
• 3:18
  dependent
• 3:18
  on,
• 3:19
  let's
• 3:19
  say
• 3:19
  you've
• 3:20
  been
• 3:20
  through
• 3:21
  several
• 3:22
  traumas,
• 3:23
  little
• 3:23
  T,
• 3:23
  middle
• 3:24
  T,
• 3:24
  even
• 3:24
  big
• 3:25
  T
• 3:25
  early
• 3:26
  in
• 3:26
  life,
• 3:27
  and
• 3:28
  you're
• 3:28
  then
• 3:29
  a
• 3:29
  bit
• 3:29
  more
• 3:29
  poised
• 3:30
  most
• 3:30
  likely
• 3:31
  later
• 3:31
  in
• 3:32
  life
• 3:32
  and
• 3:32
  to
• 3:33
  manage
• 3:33
  through
• 3:34
  those
• 3:34
  same
• 3:34
  Types
• 3:35
  of
• 3:35
  experiences,
• 3:36
  particularly
• 3:36
  little
• 3:36
  T
• 3:37
  and
• 3:37
  middle
• 3:37
  T,
• 3:38
  because
• 3:39
  you've
• 3:39
  had
• 3:40
  the
• 3:40
  experience
• 3:41
  of
• 3:41
  overcoming
• 3:42
  something,
• 3:43
  moving
• 3:43
  through
• 3:43
  and
• 3:43
  beyond
• 3:44
  that
• 3:44
  challenge
• 3:45
  that
• 3:45
  we
• 3:45
  have
• 3:45
  to
• 3:46
  contend
• 3:46
  with.
• 3:46
  We
• 3:47
  never
• 3:47
  want
• 3:47
  to
• 3:47
  pretend
• 3:48
  that
• 3:48
  challenge
• 3:49
  doesn't
• 3:49
  exist
• 3:49
  because
• 3:49
  it
• 3:50
  does
• 3:50
  for
• 3:51
  all
• 3:51
  of
• 3:51
  us
• 3:51
  every
• 3:51
  single
• 3:52
  day.
• 3:52
  So
• 3:53
  those
• 3:53
  are.
• 3:53
  Those
• 3:53
  are
• 3:53
  a
• 3:53
  few
• 3:54
  of
• 3:54
  the
• 3:54
  reasons.
• 3:55
  Okay,
• 3:55
  well,
• 3:56
  and
• 3:56
  that
• 3:56
  makes
• 3:56
  sense
• 3:56
  now.
• 3:57
  I
• 3:57
  kind
• 3:57
  of.
• 3:57
  It's
• 3:57
  funny
• 3:58
  because,
• 3:58
  like,
• 3:58
  in
• 3:58
  my
• 3:59
  experience
• 3:59
  and
• 3:59
  a
• 3:59
  lot
• 3:59
  of
• 3:59
  the
• 3:59
  people
• 4:00
  I
• 4:00
  work
• 4:00
  with,
• 4:01
  it
• 4:01
  seems
• 4:02
  like
• 4:02
  they
• 4:03
  were
• 4:03
  so
• 4:04
  beaten
• 4:04
  down
• 4:05
  as
• 4:05
  children
• 4:06
  that
• 4:08
  it
• 4:08
  just
• 4:08
  seems
• 4:08
  like
• 4:09
  they
• 4:09
  didn't
• 4:09
  have
• 4:09
  that
• 4:10
  innate.
• 4:10
  You
• 4:10
  know,
• 4:11
  some
• 4:11
  of
• 4:11
  them
• 4:11
  just
• 4:11
  didn't
• 4:11
  have
• 4:11
  that
• 4:12
  innate,
• 4:12
  I'm
• 4:12
  gonna.
• 4:13
  I'm
• 4:13
  gonna
• 4:13
  bust
• 4:14
  through
• 4:14
  this.
• 4:15
  So
• 4:15
  it's
• 4:15
  like
• 4:15
  they're
• 4:15
  kind
• 4:16
  of
• 4:16
  still
• 4:16
  at,
• 4:16
  you
• 4:17
  know,
• 4:17
  sometimes
• 4:17
  even
• 4:17
  50
• 4:18
  years
• 4:18
  old,
• 4:18
  living
• 4:18
  in
• 4:19
  this
• 4:19
  survival,
• 4:20
  fight
• 4:20
  and
• 4:21
  flight,
• 4:22
  because
• 4:23
  they
• 4:23
  didn't
• 4:23
  learn
• 4:23
  those
• 4:24
  tricks
• 4:24
  of
• 4:24
  resilience.
• 4:25
  Of
• 4:26
  course.
• 4:26
  Yeah.
• 4:26
  And
• 4:27
  again,
• 4:27
  it
• 4:27
  goes
• 4:28
  back
• 4:28
  to
• 4:28
  that
• 4:28
  sort
• 4:28
  of
• 4:29
  dispositionally
• 4:30
  different
• 4:32
  state
• 4:32
  that
• 4:32
  we're
• 4:33
  all
• 4:33
  in,
• 4:33
  and
• 4:34
  the
• 4:34
  fact
• 4:34
  that
• 4:35
  we
• 4:35
  all
• 4:35
  experience
• 4:36
  things
• 4:36
  differently.
• 4:37
  We're
• 4:37
  coming
• 4:38
  from
• 4:38
  different
• 4:38
  experiences,
• 4:39
  different
• 4:39
  angles,
• 4:39
  different
• 4:40
  perceptions,
• 4:41
  and
• 4:41
  how
• 4:41
  we're
• 4:42
  making
• 4:42
  sense
• 4:42
  of
• 4:43
  things
• 4:43
  over
• 4:43
  time.
• 4:44
  And
• 4:44
  also,
• 4:45
  the
• 4:45
  level
• 4:45
  of
• 4:45
  support
• 4:46
  that
• 4:46
  we
• 4:46
  may
• 4:46
  have
• 4:47
  had
• 4:47
  early
• 4:47
  on
• 4:47
  is
• 4:48
  a
• 4:48
  big
• 4:48
  factor.
• 4:49
  Right.
• 4:49
  Because
• 4:50
  with
• 4:50
  zero
• 4:50
  support,
• 4:51
  you're
• 4:51
  kind
• 4:51
  of
• 4:51
  forced
• 4:52
  to
• 4:52
  just
• 4:52
  stay
• 4:52
  in
• 4:52
  that
• 4:53
  survival
• 4:54
  and
• 4:54
  not
• 4:54
  really
• 4:55
  come
• 4:55
  out.
• 4:56
  Like,
• 4:56
  when
• 4:56
  I
• 4:56
  think
• 4:56
  of
• 4:57
  resilience,
• 4:57
  I
• 4:57
  think
• 4:58
  out
• 4:58
  think
• 4:58
  about,
• 4:58
  you
• 4:59
  know,
• 4:59
  going
• 4:59
  through
• 4:59
  a
• 5:00
  situation
• 5:01
  and
• 5:01
  being
• 5:01
  able
• 5:02
  to
• 5:02
  process
• 5:02
  it
• 5:03
  and
• 5:03
  think
• 5:03
  through
• 5:04
  it
• 5:04
  and
• 5:04
  come
• 5:04
  out
• 5:05
  stronger,
• 5:05
  like,
• 5:06
  learn
• 5:06
  from
• 5:06
  it.
• 5:06
  And
• 5:07
  what
• 5:07
  would
• 5:07
  you.
• 5:08
  What
• 5:08
  would
• 5:08
  you
• 5:08
  say
• 5:08
  your
• 5:09
  big
• 5:09
  picture
• 5:09
  of,
• 5:09
  like,
• 5:10
  maybe
• 5:10
  a
• 5:10
  definition
• 5:10
  of
• 5:11
  resilience
• 5:11
  is
• 5:11
  even.
• 5:12
  Yeah,
• 5:12
  that's
• 5:13
  a
• 5:13
  great
• 5:13
  question,
• 5:13
  too.
• 5:14
  And
• 5:14
  what
• 5:14
  you
• 5:14
  say
• 5:14
  is
• 5:15
  spot
• 5:15
  on,
• 5:15
  but
• 5:15
  I'm
• 5:16
  thinking
• 5:16
  of
• 5:16
  resilience
• 5:17
  as
• 5:18
  a
• 5:18
  broad
• 5:19
  sort
• 5:19
  of
• 5:19
  lifestyle
• 5:20
  concept.
• 5:20
  So.
• 5:21
  So
• 5:21
  it's
• 5:21
  not
• 5:21
  just
• 5:22
  those
• 5:22
  moments
• 5:23
  when
• 5:23
  we're
• 5:24
  moving
• 5:24
  through
• 5:24
  and
• 5:24
  beyond
• 5:25
  challenge.
• 5:25
  We're
• 5:26
  learning
• 5:26
  from
• 5:26
  that
• 5:26
  challenge.
• 5:27
  We're
• 5:27
  coming
• 5:27
  out
• 5:27
  on
• 5:27
  the
• 5:28
  other
• 5:28
  side.
• 5:29
  It's
• 5:29
  more
• 5:29
  of
• 5:29
  what
• 5:30
  can
• 5:30
  we
• 5:30
  do
• 5:31
  to
• 5:32
  create
• 5:33
  a
• 5:33
  resilient
• 5:34
  lifestyle,
• 5:35
  a
• 5:35
  resilient
• 5:36
  lens
• 5:36
  that
• 5:37
  we're
• 5:37
  always
• 5:37
  showing
• 5:38
  up
• 5:38
  with,
• 5:38
  challenge
• 5:39
  or
• 5:39
  not.
• 5:41
  So
• 5:41
  give
• 5:42
  me.
• 5:42
  Can
• 5:42
  you
• 5:42
  give
• 5:42
  me
• 5:43
  a
• 5:43
  couple,
• 5:43
  like,
• 5:43
  maybe
• 5:44
  examples
• 5:44
  of
• 5:45
  things
• 5:45
  people
• 5:45
  went
• 5:45
  through?
• 5:46
  And
• 5:48
  one,
• 5:48
  that
• 5:48
  a
• 5:48
  way
• 5:49
  that
• 5:49
  somebody
• 5:49
  that
• 5:49
  maybe
• 5:50
  isn't
• 5:50
  so
• 5:50
  resilient
• 5:51
  would.
• 5:51
  How
• 5:52
  they
• 5:52
  would
• 5:52
  react
• 5:52
  versus
• 5:53
  somebody
• 5:53
  that
• 5:53
  does
• 5:53
  have
• 5:54
  these
• 5:54
  skills?
• 5:55
  Yeah,
• 5:56
  so
• 5:56
  that's
• 5:56
  a
• 5:56
  really
• 5:57
  good
• 5:57
  question.
• 5:57
  Why
• 5:57
  don't
• 5:57
  we
• 5:58
  talk
• 5:58
  about
• 5:58
  kind
• 5:58
  of
• 5:58
  a
• 5:58
  couple
• 5:59
  of
• 5:59
  the
• 5:59
  primary
• 6:00
  skills
• 6:01
  first
• 6:01
  and
• 6:01
  then
• 6:01
  we
• 6:02
  can
• 6:02
  get
• 6:02
  into
• 6:02
  good
• 6:03
  idea
• 6:03
  examples.
• 6:05
  Because
• 6:06
  as
• 6:06
  we're
• 6:06
  thinking
• 6:07
  about
• 6:07
  creating
• 6:08
  this
• 6:08
  resilient
• 6:09
  lifestyle.
• 6:09
  This.
• 6:10
  This
• 6:10
  way
• 6:11
  of
• 6:11
  showing
• 6:11
  up
• 6:12
  so
• 6:12
  that
• 6:12
  we're
• 6:13
  able
• 6:13
  to
• 6:13
  move
• 6:13
  through
• 6:14
  and
• 6:14
  beyond
• 6:14
  the
• 6:14
  challenges
• 6:15
  that
• 6:16
  we
• 6:16
  encounter.
• 6:17
  The
• 6:17
  first
• 6:17
  thing
• 6:18
  we
• 6:18
  want
• 6:18
  to
• 6:18
  do
• 6:18
  is
• 6:19
  have
• 6:19
  a
• 6:19
  way
• 6:20
  to
• 6:20
  manage
• 6:20
  our
• 6:20
  stress
• 6:21
  response.
• 6:22
  We
• 6:22
  want
• 6:22
  to
• 6:23
  be
• 6:23
  showing
• 6:23
  up
• 6:24
  as
• 6:24
  best
• 6:24
  we
• 6:25
  can
• 6:25
  each
• 6:26
  day
• 6:26
  in
• 6:27
  as
• 6:27
  level
• 6:27
  a
• 6:27
  space
• 6:28
  as
• 6:28
  possible.
• 6:29
  And
• 6:29
  of
• 6:29
  course,
• 6:30
  this
• 6:30
  is
• 6:30
  going
• 6:30
  to
• 6:30
  look
• 6:30
  a
• 6:31
  bit
• 6:31
  different
• 6:31
  for
• 6:32
  all
• 6:32
  of
• 6:32
  us,
• 6:32
  you
• 6:32
  know,
• 6:32
  depending
• 6:33
  on
• 6:33
  what
• 6:33
  we're
• 6:34
  contending
• 6:34
  with,
• 6:35
  what
• 6:35
  we've
• 6:35
  contended
• 6:35
  with.
• 6:36
  But
• 6:37
  we
• 6:37
  want
• 6:37
  to
• 6:37
  have
• 6:37
  that
• 6:38
  level
• 6:38
  baseline
• 6:39
  set.
• 6:40
  And
• 6:40
  I
• 6:40
  teach
• 6:41
  folks
• 6:41
  a
• 6:41
  technique
• 6:42
  called
• 6:42
  the
• 6:42
  relaxation
• 6:43
  response,
• 6:44
  which
• 6:44
  was
• 6:45
  designed
• 6:45
  by
• 6:46
  a
• 6:46
  physician
• 6:47
  in
• 6:47
  Boston
• 6:47
  in
• 6:48
  the
• 6:48
  1970s
• 6:49
  before,
• 6:50
  kind
• 6:50
  of
• 6:50
  mindfulness
• 6:51
  and
• 6:51
  stress
• 6:51
  management
• 6:52
  was
• 6:52
  a
• 6:52
  thing.
• 6:52
  But
• 6:54
  he
• 6:54
  forged
• 6:55
  on
• 6:55
  in
• 6:55
  his
• 6:56
  research
• 6:56
  and
• 6:56
  applied
• 6:57
  this
• 6:57
  to
• 6:57
  his
• 6:58
  medical
• 6:58
  patients.
• 6:58
  And
• 6:59
  now
• 6:59
  it's
• 6:59
  applied
• 7:00
  across
• 7:00
  domains
• 7:01
  for
• 7:01
  all
• 7:02
  sorts
• 7:02
  of
• 7:02
  different
• 7:03
  traumas
• 7:03
  and
• 7:04
  experiences
• 7:04
  and
• 7:05
  super
• 7:05
  simple
• 7:05
  techniques.
• 7:07
  You
• 7:07
  come
• 7:07
  up
• 7:07
  with
• 7:07
  a
• 7:07
  word
• 7:08
  or
• 7:08
  phrase
• 7:09
  that
• 7:09
  you
• 7:09
  find
• 7:09
  soothing
• 7:10
  in
• 7:10
  some
• 7:10
  way,
• 7:11
  and
• 7:11
  you
• 7:11
  breathe.
• 7:12
  And
• 7:12
  what
• 7:13
  I
• 7:13
  have,
• 7:13
  my
• 7:14
  clients
• 7:14
  do
• 7:14
  is
• 7:15
  practice
• 7:15
  on
• 7:16
  either
• 7:16
  side
• 7:16
  of
• 7:16
  the
• 7:16
  day,
• 7:17
  five
• 7:18
  minutes
• 7:18
  in
• 7:18
  the
• 7:18
  morning,
• 7:19
  five
• 7:19
  minutes
• 7:19
  in
• 7:19
  the
• 7:19
  evening,
• 7:20
  so
• 7:21
  they
• 7:21
  can
• 7:21
  start
• 7:21
  to
• 7:22
  experience
• 7:23
  what
• 7:23
  it
• 7:23
  feels
• 7:23
  like
• 7:24
  to
• 7:24
  be
• 7:24
  in
• 7:24
  that
• 7:25
  more
• 7:25
  level
• 7:25
  space.
• 7:26
  Because
• 7:27
  if
• 7:27
  we're
• 7:27
  stuck
• 7:27
  in
• 7:28
  fight
• 7:28
  or
• 7:28
  flight
• 7:28
  consistently,
• 7:29
  if
• 7:29
  we're
• 7:30
  living
• 7:30
  up
• 7:30
  here
• 7:32
  and
• 7:32
  a
• 7:33
  stressor
• 7:33
  hits,
• 7:33
  a
• 7:34
  challenge
• 7:34
  hits,
• 7:35
  something
• 7:35
  from
• 7:36
  our
• 7:36
  past
• 7:36
  comes
• 7:36
  into
• 7:37
  our
• 7:37
  mind
• 7:38
  and
• 7:38
  we
• 7:39
  escalate,
• 7:39
  we're
• 7:40
  going
• 7:40
  to
• 7:40
  escalate,
• 7:40
  most
• 7:41
  likely
• 7:41
  to
• 7:41
  the
• 7:41
  point
• 7:41
  of
• 7:41
  shutdown,
• 7:42
  right?
• 7:43
  And
• 7:43
  we're
• 7:43
  not
• 7:43
  going
• 7:43
  to
• 7:44
  be
• 7:44
  able
• 7:44
  to
• 7:44
  show
• 7:44
  up
• 7:45
  in
• 7:45
  our
• 7:45
  lives
• 7:46
  for
• 7:46
  ourselves
• 7:46
  or
• 7:47
  for
• 7:47
  others
• 7:47
  in
• 7:48
  a
• 7:48
  way
• 7:48
  that
• 7:48
  we
• 7:49
  want
• 7:49
  to.
• 7:50
  So
• 7:50
  managing
• 7:51
  that
• 7:51
  stress
• 7:51
  response
• 7:52
  is
• 7:52
  first
• 7:52
  and
• 7:53
  foremost
• 7:53
  the
• 7:53
  most
• 7:54
  important
• 7:54
  thing
• 7:54
  we
• 7:54
  can
• 7:55
  do.
• 7:55
  And
• 7:56
  so
• 7:57
  let's
• 7:57
  say
• 7:57
  somebody's
• 7:58
  experienced
• 7:59
  a
• 7:59
  major
• 7:59
  trauma
• 8:01
  and
• 8:02
  they
• 8:02
  are
• 8:03
  very
• 8:03
  much
• 8:04
  stuck
• 8:04
  in
• 8:04
  fight
• 8:04
  or
• 8:05
  flight
• 8:05
  up
• 8:05
  here.
• 8:06
  Showing
• 8:06
  up
• 8:07
  here
• 8:07
  every
• 8:07
  day,
• 8:09
  something
• 8:09
  happens,
• 8:10
  a
• 8:10
  stressor
• 8:10
  comes
• 8:10
  up.
• 8:11
  You
• 8:11
  know,
• 8:11
  someone
• 8:12
  cuts
• 8:12
  them
• 8:12
  off
• 8:12
  in
• 8:13
  traffic,
• 8:13
  or
• 8:14
  they,
• 8:15
  you
• 8:15
  know,
• 8:15
  have
• 8:16
  some
• 8:16
  other
• 8:16
  kind
• 8:16
  of
• 8:16
  a
• 8:17
  challenge.
• 8:17
  A
• 8:17
  challenge
• 8:17
  happens
• 8:18
  with
• 8:18
  their
• 8:18
  child,
• 8:19
  they're
• 8:19
  probably
• 8:19
  going
• 8:20
  to
• 8:20
  escalate
• 8:20
  to
• 8:20
  the
• 8:20
  point
• 8:20
  of
• 8:20
  shutdown,
• 8:21
  maybe
• 8:21
  become
• 8:22
  very
• 8:22
  reactive,
• 8:23
  react
• 8:24
  in
• 8:24
  ways
• 8:24
  that
• 8:24
  they're
• 8:25
  not
• 8:25
  proud
• 8:26
  of,
• 8:26
  that
• 8:26
  kind
• 8:26
  of
• 8:26
  thing.
• 8:28
  When
• 8:28
  we're
• 8:28
  level
• 8:29
  and
• 8:29
  we're
• 8:30
  integrating
• 8:30
  that,
• 8:30
  it
• 8:31
  takes
• 8:31
  a
• 8:31
  while
• 8:31
  to
• 8:31
  get
• 8:32
  here.
• 8:33
  We're
• 8:33
  going
• 8:33
  to
• 8:33
  be
• 8:33
  able
• 8:34
  to
• 8:35
  respond
• 8:36
  to
• 8:36
  situations
• 8:37
  more
• 8:37
  effectively.
• 8:38
  I
• 8:38
  mean,
• 8:38
  it's
• 8:38
  not,
• 8:38
  you
• 8:39
  know,
• 8:39
  magic,
• 8:39
  you
• 8:40
  know,
• 8:40
  it
• 8:40
  doesn't.
• 8:40
  It.
• 8:40
  We
• 8:41
  really
• 8:41
  have
• 8:41
  to
• 8:41
  practice,
• 8:41
  we
• 8:42
  really
• 8:42
  have
• 8:42
  to
• 8:42
  integrate.
• 8:43
  And
• 8:43
  it
• 8:43
  doesn't
• 8:43
  work
• 8:44
  perfectly
• 8:44
  every
• 8:44
  time,
• 8:45
  of
• 8:45
  course,
• 8:46
  but
• 8:46
  we're
• 8:46
  going
• 8:46
  to
• 8:46
  be
• 8:47
  able
• 8:47
  to
• 8:47
  respond
• 8:48
  in
• 8:48
  a
• 8:48
  much
• 8:48
  more
• 8:48
  level
• 8:49
  way.
• 8:49
  We're
• 8:49
  going
• 8:50
  to
• 8:50
  be
• 8:50
  able
• 8:50
  to
• 8:51
  take
• 8:51
  a
• 8:51
  step
• 8:51
  back
• 8:51
  and
• 8:52
  gain
• 8:52
  perspective
• 8:53
  on
• 8:54
  the
• 8:54
  situation,
• 8:55
  figure
• 8:56
  out
• 8:56
  how
• 8:56
  we
• 8:56
  want
• 8:57
  to
• 8:57
  move
• 8:57
  forward.
• 8:58
  And
• 8:58
  also
• 8:59
  we're
• 8:59
  going
• 9:00
  to
• 9:00
  be
• 9:00
  able
• 9:00
  to
• 9:01
  move
• 9:01
  forward
• 9:02
  in
• 9:02
  a
• 9:02
  way
• 9:02
  that
• 9:03
  we're
• 9:04
  proud
• 9:04
  of
• 9:04
  that
• 9:05
  represents
• 9:05
  us
• 9:06
  as
• 9:06
  opposed
• 9:06
  to
• 9:07
  the
• 9:07
  situation
• 9:08
  or
• 9:08
  the
• 9:08
  trauma.
• 9:09
  Makes
• 9:09
  total
• 9:09
  sense.
• 9:10
  And
• 9:10
  I
• 9:10
  mean
• 9:10
  I
• 9:10
  talk
• 9:10
  a
• 9:11
  lot
• 9:11
  and
• 9:11
  we've
• 9:11
  talked
• 9:12
  many
• 9:12
  times
• 9:12
  on
• 9:12
  the
• 9:13
  different
• 9:13
  episodes
• 9:13
  in
• 9:13
  this
• 9:14
  podcast
• 9:14
  about
• 9:14
  the
• 9:14
  fact
• 9:15
  that
• 9:15
  when
• 9:15
  you're
• 9:16
  in
• 9:16
  that
• 9:16
  hyper
• 9:16
  aroused
• 9:17
  or
• 9:17
  hyper,
• 9:17
  hyper
• 9:18
  reactive
• 9:19
  state,
• 9:19
  you're
• 9:20
  in
• 9:20
  a
• 9:20
  different
• 9:20
  mindset.
• 9:21
  Like
• 9:21
  you're
• 9:21
  not
• 9:22
  in
• 9:22
  your
• 9:22
  normal
• 9:22
  life,
• 9:23
  logical
• 9:23
  brain
• 9:23
  side.
• 9:25
  So
• 9:25
  you're
• 9:26
  not
• 9:26
  making
• 9:26
  good
• 9:26
  decisions,
• 9:27
  you're
• 9:27
  not.
• 9:27
  And
• 9:28
  especially
• 9:28
  with
• 9:29
  people
• 9:29
  that
• 9:29
  have
• 9:29
  been
• 9:30
  kind
• 9:30
  of
• 9:31
  wired
• 9:31
  to
• 9:31
  do
• 9:32
  that
• 9:32
  and
• 9:32
  to
• 9:32
  scan
• 9:33
  for
• 9:33
  bad
• 9:33
  and
• 9:33
  to
• 9:34
  look
• 9:34
  for
• 9:34
  bad.
• 9:35
  It's
• 9:35
  like
• 9:35
  a
• 9:35
  vicious
• 9:36
  cycle
• 9:36
  because
• 9:36
  you
• 9:36
  make
• 9:37
  the
• 9:37
  bad
• 9:37
  decision,
• 9:37
  then
• 9:38
  you
• 9:38
  beat
• 9:38
  yourself
• 9:38
  up
• 9:38
  about
• 9:39
  it.
• 9:39
  So
• 9:40
  I
• 9:40
  kind
• 9:40
  of,
• 9:40
  what
• 9:41
  I
• 9:41
  hear
• 9:41
  you
• 9:41
  saying
• 9:41
  is
• 9:42
  we
• 9:42
  just
• 9:42
  need
• 9:42
  to
• 9:42
  all
• 9:43
  kind
• 9:43
  of
• 9:43
  lower
• 9:43
  our
• 9:44
  baseline
• 9:44
  where
• 9:45
  we're
• 9:45
  starting
• 9:45
  at
• 9:46
  every
• 9:46
  day.
• 9:46
  Exactly.
• 9:47
  Yeah,
• 9:48
  yeah.
• 9:48
  And,
• 9:48
  and
• 9:48
  it's
• 9:49
  starts,
• 9:49
  you
• 9:50
  know,
• 9:50
  with
• 9:50
  that.
• 9:51
  And
• 9:51
  then
• 9:51
  we
• 9:52
  add
• 9:52
  in
• 9:53
  self
• 9:53
  awareness.
• 9:54
  We
• 9:54
  really
• 9:54
  want
• 9:54
  to
• 9:55
  understand
• 9:56
  ourselves
• 9:57
  in
• 9:57
  a
• 9:57
  way
• 9:57
  that
• 9:58
  makes
• 9:58
  sense
• 9:59
  to
• 9:59
  us,
• 10:00
  allows
• 10:00
  us
• 10:00
  to
• 10:00
  know
• 10:01
  what
• 10:01
  we
• 10:01
  need
• 10:02
  to
• 10:02
  be
• 10:03
  optimal
• 10:03
  within
• 10:04
  our
• 10:04
  own
• 10:04
  unique
• 10:05
  context.
• 10:06
  And
• 10:06
  if
• 10:06
  that
• 10:07
  context
• 10:07
  involves,
• 10:08
  you
• 10:08
  know,
• 10:08
  a
• 10:08
  past
• 10:09
  trauma,
• 10:10
  many
• 10:10
  current
• 10:10
  stressors
• 10:11
  challenges,
• 10:12
  we
• 10:12
  need
• 10:13
  to
• 10:13
  understand
• 10:13
  that.
• 10:13
  We
• 10:13
  need
• 10:14
  to
• 10:14
  figure
• 10:14
  out
• 10:14
  how
• 10:15
  can
• 10:15
  we
• 10:17
  address
• 10:17
  these
• 10:18
  in
• 10:18
  the
• 10:18
  here
• 10:18
  and
• 10:19
  now
• 10:19
  and
• 10:20
  that
• 10:20
  the
• 10:20
  leveling
• 10:21
  of
• 10:21
  the
• 10:21
  stress
• 10:21
  response
• 10:22
  really
• 10:22
  helps
• 10:23
  in
• 10:23
  that.
• 10:23
  But
• 10:23
  what
• 10:24
  else
• 10:24
  do
• 10:24
  we
• 10:24
  need?
• 10:25
  Is
• 10:25
  it
• 10:26
  a
• 10:26
  supportive
• 10:27
  community?
• 10:28
  Is
• 10:28
  it
• 10:29
  connection
• 10:29
  with
• 10:30
  people
• 10:30
  in
• 10:31
  our
• 10:31
  lives?
• 10:31
  Very,
• 10:31
  very
• 10:32
  important.
• 10:32
  We
• 10:33
  often
• 10:33
  are
• 10:33
  moving
• 10:33
  through
• 10:34
  life
• 10:34
  so
• 10:35
  fast.
• 10:36
  We
• 10:36
  feel
• 10:36
  like
• 10:36
  we
• 10:36
  don't
• 10:36
  have
• 10:37
  time
• 10:37
  to
• 10:37
  pick
• 10:37
  up
• 10:37
  the
• 10:37
  phone,
• 10:38
  we
• 10:38
  don't
• 10:38
  have
• 10:39
  time
• 10:39
  to
• 10:40
  carve
• 10:40
  out
• 10:41
  an
• 10:41
  hour
• 10:41
  to
• 10:42
  meet
• 10:42
  a
• 10:42
  friend
• 10:42
  for
• 10:42
  lunch.
• 10:43
  All
• 10:43
  of
• 10:43
  those
• 10:43
  things
• 10:44
  are
• 10:44
  so,
• 10:45
  so
• 10:45
  powerful
• 10:46
  in
• 10:46
  helping
• 10:47
  us
• 10:47
  to
• 10:47
  gain
• 10:48
  perspective
• 10:49
  and
• 10:50
  shift
• 10:50
  gears.
• 10:50
  Even
• 10:51
  if
• 10:51
  we're
• 10:51
  not
• 10:51
  talking
• 10:52
  about
• 10:52
  the
• 10:52
  stressors
• 10:52
  with
• 10:53
  those
• 10:54
  friends
• 10:54
  or
• 10:54
  those
• 10:54
  connections,
• 10:55
  it
• 10:55
  just
• 10:56
  does
• 10:56
  something
• 10:57
  to
• 10:57
  our
• 10:57
  physiology,
• 10:58
  calms
• 10:59
  our
• 10:59
  nervous
• 10:59
  system
• 11:00
  when
• 11:01
  we're
• 11:01
  focusing
• 11:02
  in
• 11:02
  that
• 11:02
  way
• 11:02
  and
• 11:03
  when
• 11:03
  we're
• 11:03
  getting
• 11:03
  that
• 11:04
  level
• 11:04
  of
• 11:04
  support.
• 11:05
  Oh,
• 11:05
  abs,
• 11:06
  absolutely.
• 11:07
  And
• 11:07
  just
• 11:07
  the
• 11:07
  connection
• 11:08
  in
• 11:08
  general,
• 11:08
  like
• 11:09
  you,
• 11:09
  like
• 11:09
  you
• 11:09
  said,
• 11:10
  picking
• 11:10
  up,
• 11:10
  even
• 11:11
  just
• 11:11
  talking
• 11:11
  to
• 11:11
  a
• 11:11
  friend
• 11:11
  for
• 11:12
  five
• 11:12
  minutes,
• 11:13
  even
• 11:13
  laying
• 11:13
  on
• 11:13
  the
• 11:14
  ground,
• 11:14
  you
• 11:14
  know,
• 11:14
  like,
• 11:15
  I
• 11:15
  don't
• 11:15
  know,
• 11:15
  I
• 11:15
  lay
• 11:16
  on
• 11:16
  the
• 11:16
  ground
• 11:16
  and
• 11:16
  roll
• 11:16
  around
• 11:17
  with
• 11:17
  my
• 11:17
  puppy.
• 11:18
  That
• 11:18
  connection
• 11:18
  sometimes
• 11:19
  is
• 11:19
  enough
• 11:19
  to
• 11:19
  just.
• 11:21
  100%
• 11:22
  and
• 11:22
  knowing
• 11:23
  what
• 11:23
  those
• 11:24
  things
• 11:24
  are
• 11:24
  for
• 11:24
  you.
• 11:25
  And
• 11:25
  I
• 11:25
  love
• 11:25
  that
• 11:26
  with
• 11:26
  the
• 11:26
  puppy
• 11:26
  because
• 11:26
  yes,
• 11:27
  animals
• 11:28
  bring
• 11:29
  so
• 11:29
  much.
• 11:30
  And
• 11:30
  I
• 11:30
  could
• 11:31
  talk
• 11:31
  to
• 11:31
  you
• 11:31
  for
• 11:31
  Hours
• 11:31
  about
• 11:32
  that.
• 11:33
  And.
• 11:33
  And
• 11:34
  it's
• 11:34
  just.
• 11:34
  That's
• 11:35
  perfect,
• 11:35
  you
• 11:35
  know,
• 11:36
  so
• 11:36
  finding
• 11:37
  things
• 11:38
  in
• 11:38
  your
• 11:39
  life
• 11:39
  and
• 11:39
  environment
• 11:40
  that
• 11:41
  will
• 11:41
  help
• 11:41
  to
• 11:42
  modulate
• 11:42
  your
• 11:42
  stress
• 11:42
  response,
• 11:43
  calm
• 11:44
  your
• 11:44
  central
• 11:44
  nervous
• 11:44
  system.
• 11:45
  And
• 11:45
  that's
• 11:46
  so
• 11:46
  important
• 11:47
  when
• 11:47
  we're
• 11:48
  dealing
• 11:48
  with
• 11:49
  managing
• 11:49
  current
• 11:50
  stressors
• 11:51
  and
• 11:53
  managing
• 11:53
  the
• 11:54
  impact
• 11:54
  of
• 11:54
  past
• 11:55
  traumas
• 11:55
  and
• 11:56
  stressors.
• 11:57
  So
• 11:57
  really,
• 11:58
  having
• 11:58
  that
• 11:58
  lens
• 11:59
  on
• 12:00
  modulating
• 12:01
  and
• 12:01
  calming
• 12:01
  our
• 12:01
  central
• 12:02
  nervous
• 12:02
  system
• 12:02
  is
• 12:03
  so
• 12:03
  important.
• 12:04
  I'm
• 12:05
  going
• 12:05
  to
• 12:05
  go
• 12:05
  back
• 12:05
  and
• 12:06
  kind
• 12:06
  of
• 12:06
  revisit
• 12:07
  something
• 12:07
  that
• 12:08
  you
• 12:08
  talked
• 12:08
  about
• 12:08
  just
• 12:08
  a
• 12:09
  minute
• 12:09
  ago.
• 12:09
  And
• 12:09
  you
• 12:09
  talked
• 12:10
  about
• 12:10
  picking
• 12:11
  a
• 12:11
  word,
• 12:12
  a
• 12:12
  calming
• 12:12
  word,
• 12:13
  as
• 12:13
  an
• 12:13
  exercise
• 12:13
  to
• 12:13
  do
• 12:14
  every
• 12:14
  morning.
• 12:14
  So
• 12:15
  with.
• 12:16
  And
• 12:16
  then
• 12:16
  just
• 12:16
  breathing.
• 12:17
  So
• 12:17
  would
• 12:17
  that
• 12:18
  be
• 12:18
  kind
• 12:18
  of
• 12:18
  like
• 12:18
  the
• 12:19
  same
• 12:19
  concept
• 12:19
  of
• 12:19
  like
• 12:20
  a
• 12:20
  mantra,
• 12:20
  like,
• 12:21
  I
• 12:21
  am
• 12:21
  safe
• 12:22
  or
• 12:22
  just
• 12:22
  joy?
• 12:22
  Or
• 12:23
  is
• 12:23
  it
• 12:23
  just
• 12:24
  any
• 12:24
  word?
• 12:24
  I
• 12:25
  mean,
• 12:25
  what
• 12:25
  do
• 12:25
  you.
• 12:26
  Yeah,
• 12:26
  yeah,
• 12:27
  it
• 12:27
  is.
• 12:27
  It's.
• 12:28
  It's
• 12:28
  something
• 12:28
  that
• 12:29
  you
• 12:29
  find
• 12:29
  soothing.
• 12:31
  You
• 12:31
  don't
• 12:31
  want
• 12:31
  it
• 12:31
  to
• 12:31
  be
• 12:32
  too
• 12:32
  complex,
• 12:33
  but
• 12:33
  something
• 12:34
  simple.
• 12:34
  So
• 12:35
  it
• 12:35
  could
• 12:35
  be
• 12:35
  joy.
• 12:35
  It
• 12:36
  could.
• 12:36
  Could
• 12:36
  be
• 12:36
  I
• 12:36
  am
• 12:37
  safe.
• 12:37
  You
• 12:37
  don't
• 12:37
  want
• 12:37
  it
• 12:38
  to
• 12:38
  go
• 12:38
  beyond,
• 12:38
  like,
• 12:38
  three
• 12:39
  words.
• 12:39
  Right.
• 12:40
  You
• 12:40
  know,
• 12:40
  but
• 12:41
  something
• 12:41
  along
• 12:41
  those
• 12:42
  lines,
• 12:42
  whatever
• 12:43
  you
• 12:43
  feel
• 12:44
  would
• 12:45
  act
• 12:45
  as
• 12:46
  a
• 12:46
  soothing
• 12:47
  placeholder
• 12:48
  so
• 12:48
  that
• 12:48
  you
• 12:48
  can
• 12:48
  really
• 12:49
  be
• 12:49
  focusing
• 12:49
  on
• 12:50
  your
• 12:50
  breathing,
• 12:50
  focusing
• 12:51
  on
• 12:51
  that
• 12:51
  word
• 12:51
  or
• 12:52
  phrase
• 12:53
  so
• 12:53
  that
• 12:53
  when
• 12:53
  all
• 12:54
  those
• 12:54
  other
• 12:54
  thoughts
• 12:55
  try
• 12:55
  to
• 12:55
  come
• 12:56
  in,
• 12:56
  you've
• 12:57
  got
• 12:57
  that
• 12:57
  placeholder
• 12:58
  so
• 12:58
  it's
• 12:58
  easier
• 12:59
  to
• 12:59
  push
• 13:00
  them
• 13:00
  away.
• 13:01
  And
• 13:01
  I
• 13:01
  feel
• 13:01
  like
• 13:01
  it's
• 13:01
  also
• 13:02
  probably
• 13:02
  an
• 13:02
  anchor,
• 13:03
  too.
• 13:03
  It's
• 13:03
  like,
• 13:03
  so
• 13:03
  if
• 13:04
  the
• 13:04
  word
• 13:04
  joy
• 13:06
  you
• 13:06
  can
• 13:06
  find,
• 13:06
  you
• 13:07
  know,
• 13:07
  you
• 13:07
  can
• 13:07
  think
• 13:07
  and
• 13:07
  you
• 13:08
  practice
• 13:08
  every
• 13:08
  morning
• 13:08
  and
• 13:09
  every
• 13:09
  night,
• 13:09
  like
• 13:09
  you
• 13:10
  said,
• 13:10
  five
• 13:10
  minutes,
• 13:10
  and
• 13:10
  you're
• 13:11
  thinking,
• 13:11
  you
• 13:11
  know,
• 13:11
  I
• 13:11
  am
• 13:12
  joy
• 13:12
  or
• 13:12
  I
• 13:12
  am
• 13:13
  love.
• 13:13
  A
• 13:13
  lot
• 13:13
  of
• 13:13
  times
• 13:13
  I'll
• 13:14
  just
• 13:14
  say,
• 13:14
  I
• 13:14
  am
• 13:14
  love.
• 13:15
  And
• 13:16
  while
• 13:16
  I'm
• 13:16
  breathing
• 13:17
  and
• 13:17
  relaxing,
• 13:18
  and
• 13:18
  then
• 13:18
  if
• 13:19
  something
• 13:19
  like,
• 13:19
  I
• 13:19
  anticipate.
• 13:21
  Okay,
• 13:21
  this
• 13:21
  is
• 13:22
  gonna
• 13:22
  be
• 13:22
  ugly.
• 13:22
  We're
• 13:23
  walking
• 13:23
  into
• 13:23
  this.
• 13:23
  You.
• 13:24
  I
• 13:24
  can
• 13:24
  just
• 13:24
  say
• 13:25
  to
• 13:25
  myself,
• 13:25
  I
• 13:25
  am
• 13:25
  love.
• 13:26
  And
• 13:26
  it
• 13:26
  brings
• 13:26
  me
• 13:26
  right
• 13:27
  back
• 13:27
  to
• 13:27
  that
• 13:27
  same
• 13:28
  feeling
• 13:29
  that
• 13:29
  I
• 13:29
  was
• 13:29
  feeling
• 13:29
  when
• 13:30
  I
• 13:30
  was
• 13:30
  in,
• 13:30
  like,
• 13:30
  a
• 13:31
  meditative
• 13:31
  state.
• 13:32
  100.
• 13:33
  Yes,
• 13:34
  that
• 13:34
  is
• 13:34
  spot
• 13:34
  on.
• 13:35
  Exactly
• 13:35
  what
• 13:36
  we
• 13:36
  want
• 13:36
  people
• 13:36
  to
• 13:36
  do.
• 13:37
  Love
• 13:37
  it.
• 13:38
  Love
• 13:38
  it.
• 13:38
  Absolutely
• 13:39
  love
• 13:39
  it.
• 13:39
  So
• 13:40
  you
• 13:40
  work
• 13:41
  with
• 13:41
  people,
• 13:41
  and
• 13:41
  I
• 13:42
  don't
• 13:42
  remember
• 13:42
  if
• 13:42
  it
• 13:43
  said
• 13:43
  exactly
• 13:43
  children,
• 13:44
  families,
• 13:44
  whatever
• 13:44
  it
• 13:44
  was,
• 13:45
  of
• 13:45
  people
• 13:45
  that
• 13:45
  have
• 13:46
  had,
• 13:46
  like,
• 13:47
  medical.
• 13:48
  I
• 13:48
  don't
• 13:48
  want
• 13:48
  to
• 13:48
  say
• 13:48
  crises,
• 13:49
  but
• 13:49
  medical
• 13:50
  situations
• 13:51
  going
• 13:51
  on.
• 13:52
  Yeah,
• 13:52
  yeah,
• 13:53
  that's.
• 13:53
  That's
• 13:53
  a
• 13:54
  lot
• 13:54
  of
• 13:54
  the
• 13:54
  work
• 13:54
  that
• 13:54
  I
• 13:55
  do.
• 13:55
  And
• 13:56
  I.
• 13:56
  My
• 13:57
  early
• 13:57
  training
• 13:58
  was
• 13:58
  in
• 13:59
  pediatric
• 13:59
  medical
• 14:00
  psychology,
• 14:00
  so
• 14:01
  working
• 14:01
  with
• 14:02
  children
• 14:02
  who
• 14:03
  had
• 14:04
  a
• 14:04
  serious
• 14:04
  medical
• 14:05
  diagnosis
• 14:06
  or.
• 14:07
  I
• 14:07
  spent
• 14:07
  two
• 14:07
  years
• 14:08
  in
• 14:08
  a
• 14:08
  burn
• 14:08
  center.
• 14:09
  So
• 14:09
  serious
• 14:10
  burn
• 14:10
  Injuries
• 14:11
  which
• 14:11
  changed
• 14:12
  their
• 14:12
  lives
• 14:12
  in
• 14:12
  catastrophic
• 14:13
  ways.
• 14:14
  And
• 14:14
  so
• 14:14
  working
• 14:15
  with
• 14:15
  the
• 14:15
  kids,
• 14:15
  but
• 14:16
  also
• 14:16
  working
• 14:16
  with
• 14:17
  the
• 14:17
  parents,
• 14:17
  largely
• 14:18
  because
• 14:19
  at
• 14:19
  the
• 14:19
  initial,
• 14:20
  you
• 14:20
  know,
• 14:20
  at
• 14:20
  the
• 14:20
  outset
• 14:21
  of
• 14:21
  those
• 14:21
  injuries,
• 14:21
  the
• 14:22
  kids
• 14:22
  aren't
• 14:22
  in
• 14:22
  a
• 14:22
  state
• 14:23
  where
• 14:23
  they
• 14:23
  can
• 14:23
  work
• 14:24
  with
• 14:24
  someone
• 14:24
  like
• 14:25
  me.
• 14:25
  So
• 14:26
  helping
• 14:26
  the
• 14:26
  parents
• 14:28
  manage
• 14:28
  through
• 14:28
  this
• 14:29
  severe
• 14:29
  trauma
• 14:30
  was
• 14:31
  a
• 14:31
  big
• 14:31
  piece
• 14:31
  of
• 14:31
  it.
• 14:32
  That
• 14:32
  work
• 14:33
  has
• 14:33
  kind
• 14:33
  of
• 14:33
  morphed
• 14:34
  over
• 14:34
  time
• 14:35
  because
• 14:35
  we
• 14:35
  moved
• 14:36
  around
• 14:36
  a
• 14:36
  lot
• 14:36
  with
• 14:36
  my
• 14:37
  husband's
• 14:37
  job
• 14:38
  and
• 14:38
  started
• 14:39
  to
• 14:39
  practice,
• 14:39
  had
• 14:40
  our
• 14:40
  own
• 14:40
  kids,
• 14:40
  and
• 14:41
  so
• 14:41
  wanted
• 14:41
  to
• 14:42
  be
• 14:42
  a
• 14:42
  little
• 14:42
  bit
• 14:42
  more
• 14:42
  available
• 14:43
  for
• 14:43
  my
• 14:43
  kids
• 14:44
  and
• 14:44
  not
• 14:44
  in
• 14:44
  the
• 14:44
  hospital
• 14:45
  80
• 14:45
  hours
• 14:45
  a
• 14:45
  week.
• 14:47
  So
• 14:48
  my
• 14:48
  work
• 14:49
  is
• 14:49
  more
• 14:50
  generally
• 14:50
  with
• 14:50
  parents
• 14:51
  these
• 14:51
  days,
• 14:52
  who.
• 14:53
  Corporate
• 14:53
  folks,
• 14:54
  entrepreneurs.
• 14:55
  I
• 14:56
  also
• 14:56
  work
• 14:56
  a
• 14:56
  lot
• 14:56
  with
• 14:57
  athletes.
• 14:58
  Most
• 14:58
  of
• 14:58
  my
• 14:58
  clients,
• 14:59
  dare
• 15:00
  I
• 15:00
  say
• 15:00
  all
• 15:00
  of
• 15:00
  them,
• 15:00
  are
• 15:01
  parents.
• 15:01
  So
• 15:02
  helping
• 15:02
  them
• 15:03
  to
• 15:03
  manage
• 15:04
  parenting
• 15:05
  in
• 15:05
  a
• 15:06
  way
• 15:06
  that
• 15:07
  feels
• 15:07
  good
• 15:07
  and
• 15:08
  optimal
• 15:08
  to
• 15:08
  them
• 15:09
  and
• 15:10
  then
• 15:10
  balancing
• 15:11
  the
• 15:11
  rest
• 15:11
  of
• 15:11
  their
• 15:11
  lives
• 15:12
  at
• 15:12
  the
• 15:12
  same
• 15:12
  time.
• 15:13
  So
• 15:13
  that's
• 15:13
  really
• 15:14
  where
• 15:14
  the
• 15:14
  focus
• 15:14
  is.
• 15:15
  And
• 15:15
  resilience
• 15:16
  is
• 15:16
  a
• 15:16
  big
• 15:16
  piece
• 15:17
  of
• 15:17
  that,
• 15:19
  but
• 15:19
  the
• 15:19
  medical
• 15:19
  piece
• 15:20
  is
• 15:20
  still
• 15:20
  a
• 15:20
  part
• 15:20
  of
• 15:20
  it
• 15:21
  because
• 15:21
  lots
• 15:21
  of
• 15:21
  people
• 15:22
  come
• 15:22
  to
• 15:22
  me
• 15:22
  with
• 15:23
  medical
• 15:23
  challenges
• 15:24
  and
• 15:24
  diagnoses,
• 15:25
  and
• 15:25
  that's.
• 15:25
  That's
• 15:26
  a.
• 15:26
  That's
• 15:26
  an
• 15:26
  important
• 15:27
  area
• 15:27
  to.
• 15:29
  To
• 15:29
  think
• 15:29
  about.
• 15:29
  I
• 15:30
  can
• 15:30
  only
• 15:30
  imagine,
• 15:30
  because
• 15:30
  I.
• 15:31
  I
• 15:31
  have
• 15:31
  friends,
• 15:32
  and
• 15:32
  I
• 15:32
  have
• 15:32
  a
• 15:32
  friend
• 15:33
  right
• 15:33
  now
• 15:33
  that
• 15:33
  is
• 15:33
  going
• 15:33
  through,
• 15:34
  you
• 15:34
  know,
• 15:34
  breast
• 15:35
  cancer.
• 15:35
  And
• 15:36
  the
• 15:37
  resilience
• 15:38
  part
• 15:38
  of
• 15:38
  it
• 15:38
  just
• 15:38
  plays
• 15:39
  so
• 15:39
  much
• 15:40
  in.
• 15:40
  You
• 15:40
  know,
• 15:41
  it's
• 15:41
  so
• 15:41
  easy
• 15:41
  to
• 15:41
  get
• 15:42
  down
• 15:42
  and
• 15:42
  not.
• 15:43
  Not
• 15:43
  be
• 15:43
  able
• 15:43
  to
• 15:44
  pull
• 15:44
  from
• 15:44
  that
• 15:44
  positivity
• 15:45
  or
• 15:45
  that,
• 15:46
  you
• 15:46
  know,
• 15:46
  what
• 15:47
  you
• 15:47
  need
• 15:47
  to
• 15:48
  want
• 15:49
  the.
• 15:49
  Just
• 15:49
  to
• 15:50
  really
• 15:50
  have
• 15:50
  the
• 15:50
  full
• 15:51
  desire
• 15:51
  to.
• 15:52
  I'm
• 15:52
  gonna
• 15:52
  get
• 15:52
  better
• 15:53
  and
• 15:53
  I'm
• 15:53
  gonna
• 15:53
  get
• 15:53
  through
• 15:54
  this
• 15:54
  versus,
• 15:55
  you
• 15:56
  know,
• 15:56
  it's.
• 15:56
  It's
• 15:57
  like
• 15:57
  that
• 15:57
  fine
• 15:57
  walk,
• 15:58
  it
• 15:58
  seems
• 15:58
  like,
• 15:58
  with
• 15:59
  even
• 15:59
  her
• 15:59
  of,
• 16:00
  you
• 16:00
  know,
• 16:01
  I'm
• 16:01
  a
• 16:01
  victim
• 16:01
  versus
• 16:02
  I'm
• 16:02
  a
• 16:02
  victor.
• 16:02
  And
• 16:03
  what
• 16:03
  are
• 16:04
  some
• 16:04
  tricks
• 16:04
  that
• 16:05
  you
• 16:05
  help
• 16:05
  people
• 16:05
  with
• 16:06
  that
• 16:06
  have
• 16:06
  gotten
• 16:07
  that
• 16:07
  diagnosis
• 16:07
  as
• 16:08
  far
• 16:08
  as
• 16:08
  keeping
• 16:09
  that
• 16:09
  hope
• 16:09
  alive
• 16:10
  and.
• 16:10
  And
• 16:10
  really
• 16:11
  wanting
• 16:11
  to
• 16:12
  push
• 16:12
  through
• 16:12
  and
• 16:13
  do
• 16:13
  what
• 16:13
  they
• 16:13
  have
• 16:13
  to
• 16:13
  do,
• 16:14
  because
• 16:14
  there's
• 16:14
  a
• 16:14
  lot
• 16:14
  of
• 16:15
  work
• 16:15
  sometimes
• 16:16
  and
• 16:16
  getting
• 16:16
  well.
• 16:17
  Oh,
• 16:18
  my
• 16:18
  goodness.
• 16:18
  It
• 16:19
  is
• 16:19
  such.
• 16:19
  Yeah,
• 16:20
  it's
• 16:20
  so,
• 16:20
  so
• 16:21
  difficult,
• 16:21
  so
• 16:22
  hard.
• 16:22
  And
• 16:23
  it
• 16:23
  is
• 16:23
  true.
• 16:23
  It's
• 16:24
  a
• 16:24
  very
• 16:24
  fine
• 16:25
  line,
• 16:25
  you
• 16:25
  know,
• 16:25
  and
• 16:26
  it's
• 16:26
  contending
• 16:27
  with
• 16:28
  the.
• 16:28
  The
• 16:28
  true
• 16:29
  challenges
• 16:29
  that
• 16:29
  are
• 16:30
  right
• 16:30
  there,
• 16:30
  right
• 16:30
  here,
• 16:31
  when
• 16:31
  that
• 16:32
  type
• 16:32
  of
• 16:32
  a
• 16:32
  diagnosis
• 16:33
  comes
• 16:33
  up
• 16:34
  and
• 16:35
  really
• 16:35
  helping
• 16:35
  folks
• 16:36
  to
• 16:36
  move
• 16:37
  through
• 16:37
  each
• 16:38
  phase,
• 16:39
  the
• 16:39
  initial
• 16:39
  shock
• 16:40
  of
• 16:40
  it,
• 16:41
  sitting
• 16:42
  with
• 16:42
  them,
• 16:43
  processing
• 16:44
  emotions,
• 16:45
  emotions
• 16:45
  that
• 16:46
  are
• 16:46
  very
• 16:46
  real
• 16:47
  and
• 16:47
  very
• 16:47
  important
• 16:47
  to
• 16:48
  process,
• 16:49
  and
• 16:49
  then
• 16:49
  thinking
• 16:50
  about
• 16:50
  small
• 16:51
  steps
• 16:51
  that
• 16:52
  they
• 16:52
  can
• 16:52
  take
• 16:53
  to
• 16:53
  maintain
• 16:55
  a
• 16:55
  sense
• 16:55
  of
• 16:56
  wellness.
• 16:59
  Sorry,
• 17:00
  my
• 17:00
  Dog
• 17:00
  barked.
• 17:01
  No
• 17:02
  problem.
• 17:03
  Maintain
• 17:03
  a
• 17:04
  sense
• 17:04
  of
• 17:04
  wellness
• 17:05
  within
• 17:05
  the
• 17:05
  context
• 17:06
  of.
• 17:06
  Of
• 17:06
  what
• 17:06
  is,
• 17:07
  you
• 17:07
  know,
• 17:08
  and
• 17:08
  that
• 17:08
  might
• 17:08
  just
• 17:09
  be,
• 17:10
  you
• 17:10
  know,
• 17:10
  stepping
• 17:11
  outside
• 17:11
  on
• 17:11
  the
• 17:12
  porch
• 17:12
  with
• 17:12
  a
• 17:12
  warm
• 17:13
  cup
• 17:13
  of
• 17:13
  tea.
• 17:14
  You
• 17:14
  know,
• 17:14
  we're
• 17:14
  talking
• 17:15
  small
• 17:15
  steps,
• 17:16
  but
• 17:16
  things
• 17:16
  they
• 17:17
  can
• 17:17
  do
• 17:18
  to
• 17:18
  bring
• 17:19
  a
• 17:19
  moment
• 17:20
  of
• 17:21
  peace,
• 17:21
  of
• 17:21
  solitude
• 17:22
  into
• 17:23
  the
• 17:23
  mix
• 17:23
  of
• 17:24
  a
• 17:24
  very,
• 17:24
  very
• 17:25
  stressful
• 17:25
  and
• 17:25
  very
• 17:26
  intense
• 17:27
  situation.
• 17:28
  But
• 17:28
  a
• 17:28
  lot
• 17:28
  of
• 17:28
  it
• 17:29
  is
• 17:30
  really
• 17:30
  meeting
• 17:32
  my
• 17:32
  clients
• 17:32
  where
• 17:32
  they
• 17:33
  are
• 17:33
  within
• 17:34
  the
• 17:34
  context
• 17:34
  of
• 17:35
  the
• 17:35
  diagnosis
• 17:36
  or
• 17:36
  whatever
• 17:37
  it
• 17:37
  might
• 17:37
  be,
• 17:37
  you
• 17:38
  know,
• 17:38
  and
• 17:38
  some
• 17:38
  folks
• 17:39
  are
• 17:39
  like,
• 17:39
  okay,
• 17:39
  I'm
• 17:40
  going
• 17:40
  to
• 17:40
  take
• 17:40
  the
• 17:40
  bull
• 17:40
  by
• 17:40
  the
• 17:41
  horns
• 17:41
  here,
• 17:41
  and
• 17:41
  I'm
• 17:41
  going
• 17:41
  to,
• 17:42
  you
• 17:42
  know,
• 17:42
  run
• 17:42
  a
• 17:42
  marathon
• 17:43
  through
• 17:43
  my
• 17:43
  training,
• 17:44
  I
• 17:44
  mean,
• 17:44
  through
• 17:44
  my
• 17:44
  treatment.
• 17:45
  And
• 17:46
  some
• 17:46
  people,
• 17:46
  you
• 17:47
  know,
• 17:47
  that's
• 17:47
  not
• 17:48
  their
• 17:48
  lens
• 17:49
  or
• 17:49
  that
• 17:49
  angle,
• 17:49
  and
• 17:50
  that's
• 17:50
  okay.
• 17:50
  So
• 17:51
  it's
• 17:51
  really
• 17:53
  everyone.
• 17:53
  It's
• 17:54
  really
• 17:54
  meeting
• 17:55
  folks
• 17:55
  where
• 17:55
  they
• 17:55
  are
• 17:56
  within
• 17:56
  their
• 17:57
  own
• 17:57
  unique
• 17:57
  context
• 17:58
  and
• 17:58
  helping
• 17:59
  them
• 18:00
  find
• 18:00
  a
• 18:00
  way
• 18:01
  to
• 18:01
  move
• 18:01
  forward
• 18:02
  in
• 18:02
  a
• 18:03
  way
• 18:03
  that
• 18:03
  makes
• 18:03
  sense
• 18:04
  for
• 18:04
  them.
• 18:05
  And
• 18:06
  oftentimes
• 18:07
  we
• 18:07
  do
• 18:07
  focus
• 18:08
  on
• 18:08
  those
• 18:08
  small
• 18:09
  steps
• 18:09
  that
• 18:09
  they
• 18:09
  can
• 18:10
  take,
• 18:11
  those
• 18:11
  small
• 18:13
  sort
• 18:13
  of
• 18:14
  places
• 18:14
  where
• 18:15
  they
• 18:15
  can
• 18:15
  feel
• 18:15
  a
• 18:16
  sense
• 18:16
  of
• 18:16
  control,
• 18:17
  because
• 18:18
  oftentimes
• 18:19
  there's
• 18:19
  such
• 18:19
  a
• 18:19
  lack
• 18:19
  of
• 18:20
  control
• 18:20
  in
• 18:20
  those
• 18:20
  types
• 18:21
  of
• 18:21
  situations.
• 18:22
  Oh,
• 18:22
  absolutely.
• 18:24
  I
• 18:24
  love.
• 18:24
  I
• 18:25
  love
• 18:25
  that.
• 18:25
  So
• 18:25
  tell
• 18:26
  me
• 18:26
  about.
• 18:26
  Because
• 18:27
  I
• 18:27
  know
• 18:27
  that's.
• 18:27
  I.
• 18:28
  Is
• 18:28
  that
• 18:28
  in
• 18:28
  either
• 18:29
  of
• 18:29
  your
• 18:29
  books,
• 18:29
  that
• 18:30
  whole
• 18:30
  kind
• 18:30
  of.
• 18:31
  That
• 18:31
  whole
• 18:31
  dealing
• 18:32
  with
• 18:32
  the
• 18:32
  medical
• 18:32
  issue
• 18:33
  part?
• 18:33
  Well,
• 18:34
  so
• 18:34
  it's
• 18:35
  in
• 18:35
  both
• 18:35
  of
• 18:36
  the
• 18:36
  books.
• 18:37
  From
• 18:37
  the
• 18:37
  perspective
• 18:38
  of.
• 18:39
  So
• 18:40
  in
• 18:40
  my
• 18:40
  latest
• 18:41
  book,
• 18:41
  Step
• 18:41
  Away
• 18:42
  from
• 18:42
  the
• 18:42
  perspective
• 18:43
  of
• 18:43
  the
• 18:44
  parents
• 18:44
  helping
• 18:45
  kids
• 18:45
  to
• 18:46
  manage
• 18:46
  a
• 18:47
  chronic
• 18:47
  illness.
• 18:48
  I
• 18:48
  have
• 18:48
  case
• 18:49
  studies
• 18:49
  sprinkled
• 18:50
  throughout
• 18:50
  the
• 18:50
  book,
• 18:50
  and
• 18:50
  there's
• 18:51
  one.
• 18:51
  And
• 18:52
  with
• 18:52
  the
• 18:52
  parents
• 18:53
  managing.
• 18:53
  Helping
• 18:54
  a
• 18:54
  kid
• 18:54
  manage
• 18:55
  a
• 18:55
  chronic
• 18:55
  illness,
• 18:55
  diabetes,
• 18:57
  and
• 18:57
  also
• 18:58
  a
• 18:58
  situation
• 18:59
  where
• 18:59
  a
• 18:59
  parent
• 19:00
  is
• 19:00
  helping
• 19:00
  a
• 19:00
  child
• 19:01
  recover
• 19:02
  from
• 19:02
  a
• 19:02
  sports
• 19:03
  injury,
• 19:03
  that
• 19:03
  sort
• 19:04
  of
• 19:04
  thing.
• 19:05
  There's
• 19:05
  also
• 19:06
  a
• 19:06
  piece
• 19:07
  in
• 19:07
  the
• 19:07
  book.
• 19:09
  So
• 19:09
  I
• 19:10
  grew
• 19:10
  up
• 19:10
  with
• 19:10
  a
• 19:11
  illness,
• 19:12
  well,
• 19:12
  a
• 19:12
  condition
• 19:13
  called
• 19:13
  hydrocephalus,
• 19:14
  which
• 19:15
  had
• 19:15
  me
• 19:15
  in
• 19:15
  and
• 19:15
  out
• 19:16
  of
• 19:16
  the
• 19:16
  hospital
• 19:16
  a
• 19:16
  lot
• 19:16
  when
• 19:17
  I
• 19:17
  was
• 19:17
  a
• 19:17
  kid.
• 19:18
  So
• 19:18
  there's
• 19:18
  a
• 19:19
  piece
• 19:19
  on
• 19:19
  my
• 19:19
  parents
• 19:20
  and
• 19:20
  how
• 19:20
  they
• 19:20
  had
• 19:21
  to
• 19:21
  manage
• 19:21
  through
• 19:22
  that
• 19:22
  situation
• 19:23
  over
• 19:24
  time.
• 19:25
  So
• 19:26
  my
• 19:26
  next
• 19:26
  book
• 19:26
  will
• 19:27
  probably
• 19:28
  deal
• 19:28
  with
• 19:28
  this
• 19:28
  a
• 19:29
  little
• 19:29
  bit
• 19:29
  more
• 19:29
  directly.
• 19:30
  Okay,
• 19:31
  and
• 19:31
  can
• 19:32
  you
• 19:32
  give
• 19:32
  me
• 19:32
  an
• 19:32
  example?
• 19:33
  Because
• 19:33
  you
• 19:33
  grew
• 19:33
  up,
• 19:34
  obviously,
• 19:34
  resilient
• 19:35
  and.
• 19:35
  And
• 19:36
  you
• 19:37
  teach
• 19:37
  it.
• 19:38
  What
• 19:38
  are
• 19:38
  some
• 19:38
  of
• 19:38
  the
• 19:38
  things
• 19:39
  that
• 19:39
  you
• 19:39
  think
• 19:39
  that
• 19:40
  your
• 19:40
  parents
• 19:40
  did
• 19:41
  like
• 19:41
  to
• 19:41
  help
• 19:41
  you
• 19:41
  through
• 19:42
  that?
• 19:43
  Yeah,
• 19:44
  definitely.
• 19:44
  And
• 19:44
  that
• 19:44
  was.
• 19:45
  That
• 19:45
  was
• 19:45
  really
• 19:45
  important,
• 19:45
  actually,
• 19:47
  the
• 19:47
  biggest
• 19:48
  thing
• 19:48
  that
• 19:48
  they
• 19:48
  did.
• 19:49
  So
• 19:49
  hydrocephalus
• 19:50
  is
• 19:50
  a
• 19:50
  situation
• 19:51
  where
• 19:52
  the
• 19:52
  cerebral
• 19:53
  spinal
• 19:54
  fluid
• 19:54
  isn't
• 19:54
  circulating
• 19:55
  as
• 19:55
  it
• 19:55
  should,
• 19:55
  and
• 19:56
  pressure
• 19:56
  builds
• 19:56
  up
• 19:57
  in
• 19:57
  the
• 19:57
  brain
• 19:57
  so
• 19:58
  to
• 19:58
  be
• 19:58
  managed
• 19:59
  with
• 19:59
  something
• 19:59
  called
• 19:59
  a
• 19:59
  shunt,
• 20:00
  which
• 20:00
  is
• 20:00
  surgically
• 20:01
  implanted.
• 20:01
  And
• 20:02
  when
• 20:02
  the
• 20:02
  shunt
• 20:03
  is
• 20:03
  working,
• 20:04
  it's
• 20:04
  good.
• 20:04
  You
• 20:04
  know,
• 20:05
  everything's
• 20:05
  good.
• 20:06
  When
• 20:06
  the
• 20:06
  shunt
• 20:07
  is
• 20:07
  not
• 20:07
  working,
• 20:08
  everything's
• 20:08
  not
• 20:09
  good,
• 20:09
  and
• 20:09
  you
• 20:09
  have
• 20:09
  to
• 20:10
  have
• 20:10
  another
• 20:10
  one
• 20:11
  put
• 20:11
  in.
• 20:11
  So
• 20:11
  it
• 20:11
  means
• 20:12
  surgery.
• 20:12
  So
• 20:13
  I
• 20:13
  often
• 20:14
  would
• 20:14
  come
• 20:15
  back
• 20:15
  to
• 20:15
  school
• 20:15
  looking
• 20:15
  different,
• 20:16
  feeling
• 20:16
  different,
• 20:17
  all
• 20:17
  of
• 20:17
  that,
• 20:18
  not
• 20:19
  being
• 20:19
  able
• 20:19
  to
• 20:19
  do
• 20:20
  a
• 20:20
  lot
• 20:20
  of
• 20:20
  the
• 20:20
  things
• 20:20
  that
• 20:21
  my
• 20:21
  peers
• 20:21
  were
• 20:21
  able
• 20:22
  to
• 20:22
  do.
• 20:22
  Contact
• 20:23
  sports
• 20:23
  were
• 20:23
  out,
• 20:24
  you
• 20:25
  know,
• 20:25
  gymnastics,
• 20:27
  hanging
• 20:28
  upside
• 20:28
  down
• 20:28
  on
• 20:28
  the.
• 20:29
  At
• 20:29
  the
• 20:29
  jungle
• 20:30
  gym
• 20:30
  with
• 20:31
  the
• 20:31
  girls
• 20:31
  was
• 20:32
  out,
• 20:32
  you
• 20:32
  know,
• 20:32
  all
• 20:32
  these
• 20:33
  things.
• 20:34
  So
• 20:34
  my
• 20:34
  parents
• 20:34
  did.
• 20:35
  Was.
• 20:35
  They
• 20:35
  helped
• 20:35
  me
• 20:35
  focus
• 20:36
  on
• 20:36
  what
• 20:36
  I
• 20:36
  could.
• 20:37
  Could
• 20:37
  do
• 20:37
  as
• 20:37
  opposed
• 20:38
  to
• 20:38
  what
• 20:38
  I
• 20:38
  couldn't
• 20:38
  do.
• 20:39
  And
• 20:40
  that
• 20:40
  really
• 20:40
  made
• 20:41
  all
• 20:41
  the
• 20:41
  difference
• 20:41
  for
• 20:42
  me
• 20:42
  because
• 20:42
  it
• 20:42
  saw.
• 20:43
  It
• 20:44
  enabled
• 20:44
  me
• 20:44
  to
• 20:44
  see
• 20:45
  myself
• 20:45
  as
• 20:45
  capable
• 20:47
  as
• 20:47
  opposed
• 20:47
  to
• 20:49
  disabled,
• 20:49
  you
• 20:50
  know,
• 20:50
  and
• 20:50
  I
• 20:50
  really
• 20:51
  wasn't
• 20:51
  disabled,
• 20:51
  but,
• 20:52
  you
• 20:52
  know,
• 20:52
  I
• 20:52
  could
• 20:52
  have
• 20:53
  taken
• 20:53
  on
• 20:53
  that
• 20:54
  lens
• 20:55
  because
• 20:55
  there
• 20:55
  were
• 20:55
  a
• 20:55
  lot
• 20:55
  of
• 20:56
  times
• 20:56
  I
• 20:56
  couldn't
• 20:56
  really
• 20:57
  do
• 20:57
  much,
• 20:57
  and
• 20:57
  I
• 20:58
  was
• 20:58
  out
• 20:58
  of
• 20:58
  school
• 20:58
  for
• 20:58
  months
• 20:59
  at
• 20:59
  a
• 20:59
  time
• 20:59
  and
• 20:59
  all
• 20:59
  these
• 21:00
  things.
• 21:01
  So
• 21:01
  they
• 21:01
  really,
• 21:02
  really
• 21:02
  helped
• 21:02
  me
• 21:03
  to
• 21:03
  see,
• 21:03
  see.
• 21:03
  Okay,
• 21:03
  well,
• 21:04
  what
• 21:04
  can
• 21:04
  you
• 21:04
  do?
• 21:05
  All
• 21:05
  right,
• 21:05
  you
• 21:05
  can't
• 21:06
  play
• 21:06
  hockey
• 21:06
  like
• 21:06
  your
• 21:06
  brother,
• 21:08
  but
• 21:09
  you
• 21:09
  like.
• 21:10
  You
• 21:10
  like
• 21:10
  tennis
• 21:11
  balls.
• 21:11
  You.
• 21:11
  You
• 21:11
  play
• 21:12
  with
• 21:12
  tennis
• 21:12
  balls
• 21:12
  all
• 21:12
  the
• 21:12
  time.
• 21:13
  Maybe
• 21:13
  tennis.
• 21:14
  And
• 21:14
  that
• 21:14
  became
• 21:15
  a
• 21:15
  huge
• 21:15
  piece
• 21:15
  of
• 21:16
  my
• 21:16
  identity.
• 21:16
  I
• 21:16
  actually
• 21:17
  got
• 21:17
  pretty
• 21:17
  good
• 21:17
  at
• 21:17
  it,
• 21:18
  and
• 21:19
  it
• 21:19
  was.
• 21:19
  It
• 21:19
  was.
• 21:20
  It
• 21:20
  was
• 21:20
  a
• 21:20
  big
• 21:20
  deal.
• 21:21
  Bike
• 21:21
  riding
• 21:22
  safely
• 21:23
  with
• 21:23
  a
• 21:23
  helmet,
• 21:24
  but
• 21:24
  that
• 21:25
  was
• 21:25
  okay.
• 21:25
  Like,
• 21:26
  helmets
• 21:26
  weren't
• 21:26
  cool
• 21:27
  back
• 21:27
  in
• 21:27
  the
• 21:27
  1980s.
• 21:28
  Right.
• 21:28
  And
• 21:28
  so
• 21:29
  I.
• 21:29
  I
• 21:30
  had
• 21:30
  to
• 21:30
  wear,
• 21:30
  like,
• 21:30
  giant
• 21:31
  helmets
• 21:31
  when
• 21:31
  I
• 21:31
  ice
• 21:32
  skated
• 21:32
  and
• 21:32
  when
• 21:32
  I
• 21:32
  rode
• 21:33
  my
• 21:33
  bike
• 21:33
  and
• 21:33
  all
• 21:33
  these
• 21:33
  things,
• 21:34
  and
• 21:34
  kids
• 21:35
  laughed,
• 21:35
  but,
• 21:35
  you
• 21:35
  know,
• 21:36
  it
• 21:36
  was
• 21:36
  my
• 21:37
  context,
• 21:37
  and
• 21:37
  it
• 21:37
  was
• 21:38
  what
• 21:38
  I
• 21:38
  needed
• 21:38
  to
• 21:38
  do
• 21:39
  within
• 21:39
  my
• 21:39
  context.
• 21:41
  And
• 21:41
  I
• 21:41
  think
• 21:41
  the
• 21:42
  biggest
• 21:42
  thing
• 21:42
  my
• 21:42
  parents
• 21:43
  did
• 21:43
  was
• 21:43
  normalize
• 21:44
  that
• 21:44
  context
• 21:45
  and
• 21:45
  also
• 21:46
  help
• 21:46
  me
• 21:46
  focus
• 21:46
  on
• 21:47
  what
• 21:47
  I
• 21:47
  could
• 21:47
  do.
• 21:48
  I.
• 21:48
  I
• 21:48
  was
• 21:48
  just
• 21:48
  gonna
• 21:49
  say
• 21:49
  that's
• 21:49
  so
• 21:49
  important.
• 21:50
  And
• 21:50
  that
• 21:50
  took
• 21:50
  you
• 21:51
  away
• 21:51
  from
• 21:52
  always
• 21:52
  concentrating
• 21:53
  on
• 21:53
  what
• 21:53
  you
• 21:53
  can't
• 21:54
  do.
• 21:54
  So
• 21:54
  it's.
• 21:55
  Yeah,
• 21:56
  right.
• 21:56
  Of
• 21:56
  course.
• 21:57
  And
• 21:57
  of
• 21:57
  course,
• 21:57
  there
• 21:57
  were
• 21:57
  challenges
• 21:58
  that
• 21:58
  had
• 21:58
  to
• 21:58
  be
• 21:58
  contended
• 21:59
  with
• 21:59
  that
• 21:59
  were
• 21:59
  right
• 22:00
  here.
• 22:00
  But,
• 22:01
  you
• 22:01
  know,
• 22:01
  there
• 22:01
  were.
• 22:02
  There
• 22:02
  were
• 22:02
  also
• 22:03
  very
• 22:03
  good
• 22:03
  moments,
• 22:04
  and
• 22:05
  there.
• 22:05
  Yeah.
• 22:06
  So
• 22:06
  that
• 22:06
  was
• 22:06
  what
• 22:06
  my
• 22:06
  parents
• 22:07
  did,
• 22:07
  and
• 22:07
  I
• 22:08
  appreciate
• 22:08
  that
• 22:08
  to
• 22:09
  this
• 22:09
  day.
• 22:10
  Very
• 22:10
  good.
• 22:11
  Can
• 22:11
  you
• 22:12
  tell
• 22:12
  me
• 22:12
  now?
• 22:12
  There's
• 22:12
  a
• 22:12
  lot
• 22:13
  of
• 22:13
  things
• 22:13
  going
• 22:13
  on
• 22:13
  in
• 22:13
  schools
• 22:14
  right
• 22:14
  now
• 22:14
  that
• 22:15
  I
• 22:15
  think
• 22:15
  feel
• 22:15
  like
• 22:16
  kids
• 22:16
  need
• 22:16
  to
• 22:16
  be
• 22:17
  much,
• 22:17
  like,
• 22:18
  taught
• 22:18
  resilience
• 22:19
  and
• 22:19
  how
• 22:19
  to
• 22:19
  come
• 22:19
  out
• 22:19
  of
• 22:20
  these
• 22:20
  things.
• 22:20
  I
• 22:20
  mean,
• 22:20
  there's
• 22:21
  a
• 22:21
  fear
• 22:21
  in
• 22:21
  many
• 22:22
  districts
• 22:22
  because
• 22:23
  of
• 22:23
  shootings
• 22:23
  and
• 22:23
  all
• 22:24
  of
• 22:24
  this
• 22:24
  stuff
• 22:24
  kind
• 22:24
  of
• 22:24
  coming
• 22:24
  out
• 22:25
  of
• 22:25
  that.
• 22:25
  How
• 22:25
  can
• 22:26
  you.
• 22:26
  How
• 22:26
  do
• 22:26
  you
• 22:27
  look
• 22:27
  at
• 22:27
  the
• 22:27
  big.
• 22:28
  The
• 22:28
  big
• 22:28
  picture
• 22:28
  of
• 22:29
  like
• 22:29
  teachers
• 22:29
  and
• 22:29
  parents
• 22:30
  really
• 22:31
  building
• 22:31
  that
• 22:32
  resilience
• 22:33
  into
• 22:33
  the
• 22:34
  kids
• 22:35
  for
• 22:35
  things
• 22:35
  like
• 22:35
  that?
• 22:36
  Yeah,
• 22:37
  that's
• 22:37
  such
• 22:37
  a
• 22:37
  great
• 22:37
  question
• 22:38
  and
• 22:38
  such
• 22:38
  an
• 22:38
  important
• 22:39
  question
• 22:39
  because
• 22:39
  there
• 22:39
  is
• 22:40
  so
• 22:40
  much
• 22:40
  going
• 22:41
  on
• 22:41
  out
• 22:41
  there
• 22:41
  that's
• 22:41
  scary
• 22:42
  and
• 22:43
  it's
• 22:43
  real
• 22:43
  fear.
• 22:44
  And
• 22:44
  so
• 22:46
  first
• 22:46
  thing
• 22:46
  is
• 22:47
  helping
• 22:47
  kids
• 22:48
  show
• 22:48
  up
• 22:49
  with
• 22:49
  as
• 22:49
  even
• 22:50
  a
• 22:50
  stress
• 22:50
  response
• 22:51
  as
• 22:51
  possible.
• 22:52
  So
• 22:52
  that
• 22:53
  technique
• 22:53
  that
• 22:53
  we
• 22:53
  talked
• 22:54
  about
• 22:54
  earlier,
• 22:55
  we
• 22:55
  want
• 22:55
  to
• 22:55
  be
• 22:55
  teaching
• 22:56
  our
• 22:56
  kids
• 22:56
  to
• 22:57
  do
• 22:57
  this
• 22:57
  same
• 22:57
  thing.
• 22:58
  We
• 22:58
  want
• 22:58
  to
• 22:58
  help
• 22:59
  level
• 22:59
  out
• 22:59
  their
• 23:00
  stress
• 23:00
  response.
• 23:01
  Because
• 23:01
  if
• 23:02
  they're
• 23:02
  showing
• 23:02
  up
• 23:03
  in
• 23:03
  this
• 23:03
  state
• 23:03
  of
• 23:04
  heightened
• 23:04
  fear
• 23:05
  every
• 23:05
  day
• 23:05
  at
• 23:06
  school,
• 23:06
  which
• 23:06
  is
• 23:06
  very
• 23:07
  possible,
• 23:08
  you
• 23:08
  know,
• 23:08
  because
• 23:08
  the
• 23:09
  stressors
• 23:10
  are
• 23:10
  real,
• 23:11
  it's
• 23:11
  not
• 23:12
  going
• 23:12
  to
• 23:12
  be
• 23:12
  helpful
• 23:12
  for
• 23:12
  them
• 23:13
  in
• 23:13
  any
• 23:13
  way.
• 23:14
  So
• 23:14
  I'm
• 23:14
  going
• 23:14
  to
• 23:14
  try
• 23:15
  to
• 23:15
  level
• 23:15
  that
• 23:15
  out.
• 23:16
  In
• 23:16
  addition
• 23:16
  to
• 23:17
  the
• 23:17
  exercise,
• 23:18
  the
• 23:18
  word,
• 23:18
  the
• 23:19
  phrase,
• 23:19
  the
• 23:19
  breathing,
• 23:20
  which
• 23:21
  we
• 23:21
  want
• 23:21
  to
• 23:21
  be
• 23:21
  practicing
• 23:22
  in
• 23:22
  the
• 23:22
  classroom,
• 23:24
  we
• 23:24
  want
• 23:24
  to
• 23:24
  also
• 23:24
  normalize
• 23:25
  the
• 23:25
  fear.
• 23:26
  We
• 23:27
  want
• 23:27
  to
• 23:28
  leave
• 23:28
  an
• 23:28
  opening
• 23:29
  for
• 23:29
  our
• 23:30
  kids
• 23:30
  to
• 23:30
  talk
• 23:31
  about
• 23:31
  the
• 23:31
  things
• 23:32
  that
• 23:32
  they're
• 23:32
  afraid
• 23:32
  of,
• 23:33
  talk
• 23:33
  about
• 23:33
  the
• 23:34
  things
• 23:34
  that
• 23:34
  are
• 23:34
  hard.
• 23:35
  And
• 23:36
  you
• 23:36
  know,
• 23:37
  we
• 23:37
  can
• 23:37
  do
• 23:37
  that
• 23:38
  in
• 23:38
  a
• 23:38
  developmentally
• 23:39
  appropriate
• 23:39
  way
• 23:40
  as
• 23:40
  parents,
• 23:41
  as
• 23:41
  teachers,
• 23:42
  by
• 23:43
  sharing
• 23:43
  our
• 23:44
  own
• 23:44
  areas
• 23:44
  of
• 23:45
  vulnerability.
• 23:45
  You
• 23:46
  know,
• 23:46
  the
• 23:46
  things
• 23:46
  that
• 23:46
  are
• 23:47
  hard
• 23:47
  for
• 23:47
  us,
• 23:47
  that
• 23:48
  might
• 23:48
  be
• 23:48
  scary,
• 23:49
  that
• 23:49
  sort
• 23:49
  of
• 23:49
  thing.
• 23:49
  Of
• 23:49
  course,
• 23:50
  in
• 23:50
  a
• 23:50
  developmentally
• 23:50
  appropriate
• 23:51
  way,
• 23:51
  with
• 23:52
  boundaries,
• 23:52
  all
• 23:52
  of
• 23:52
  that
• 23:53
  very
• 23:53
  important.
• 23:54
  But
• 23:55
  that
• 23:56
  leaves
• 23:56
  an
• 23:56
  opening
• 23:57
  for
• 23:57
  our
• 23:58
  kids
• 23:58
  to
• 23:58
  know
• 23:58
  that
• 23:59
  we're
• 23:59
  human
• 23:59
  too,
• 24:00
  and
• 24:01
  that
• 24:01
  things
• 24:02
  are
• 24:02
  hard
• 24:02
  for
• 24:02
  us
• 24:03
  too,
• 24:03
  but
• 24:04
  things
• 24:04
  are
• 24:04
  also
• 24:04
  okay,
• 24:05
  you
• 24:05
  know,
• 24:05
  that
• 24:06
  kind
• 24:06
  of
• 24:06
  a
• 24:06
  thing.
• 24:07
  So
• 24:07
  to
• 24:07
  be
• 24:07
  giving
• 24:08
  those
• 24:08
  types
• 24:09
  of
• 24:09
  messages
• 24:10
  on
• 24:10
  top
• 24:11
  of
• 24:12
  helping
• 24:12
  our
• 24:12
  kids,
• 24:13
  kids,
• 24:13
  particularly
• 24:14
  in
• 24:14
  the
• 24:14
  classroom,
• 24:15
  maybe
• 24:16
  even
• 24:16
  at
• 24:16
  home
• 24:16
  in
• 24:17
  the
• 24:17
  evening,
• 24:18
  to
• 24:18
  find
• 24:18
  a
• 24:19
  way
• 24:19
  to
• 24:19
  manage
• 24:21
  their
• 24:21
  stress
• 24:21
  response,
• 24:22
  to
• 24:22
  build
• 24:22
  that
• 24:23
  resilience
• 24:23
  muscle
• 24:24
  in
• 24:24
  that
• 24:24
  way
• 24:25
  is
• 24:25
  very
• 24:25
  important.
• 24:26
  I
• 24:26
  think
• 24:26
  that's
• 24:27
  hugely
• 24:27
  important.
• 24:27
  And
• 24:28
  a
• 24:28
  lot
• 24:28
  of
• 24:28
  kids
• 24:28
  are
• 24:28
  just
• 24:29
  taught,
• 24:29
  especially
• 24:30
  when
• 24:30
  there's
• 24:30
  things
• 24:30
  like
• 24:31
  going
• 24:31
  out
• 24:31
  at
• 24:31
  home
• 24:32
  or
• 24:32
  doing
• 24:33
  what
• 24:33
  I
• 24:33
  call
• 24:34
  the
• 24:34
  middle
• 24:34
  t
• 24:34
  trauma,
• 24:35
  things
• 24:35
  that
• 24:36
  they
• 24:36
  can't
• 24:36
  talk
• 24:37
  about
• 24:37
  it,
• 24:37
  they
• 24:37
  can't
• 24:37
  express
• 24:38
  it.
• 24:38
  And
• 24:38
  then
• 24:38
  you're
• 24:38
  right,
• 24:39
  they
• 24:39
  do
• 24:39
  stay
• 24:39
  up
• 24:40
  here
• 24:40
  and
• 24:40
  it's.
• 24:41
  They
• 24:41
  can
• 24:41
  stay
• 24:41
  up
• 24:41
  there
• 24:42
  for
• 24:42
  decades,
• 24:43
  decades,
• 24:44
  decades.
• 24:44
  So
• 24:45
  that
• 24:45
  is
• 24:45
  very
• 24:45
  helpful.
• 24:46
  I
• 24:46
  actually
• 24:46
  had
• 24:46
  unfortunately
• 24:47
  a
• 24:47
  friend
• 24:48
  that
• 24:50
  passed
• 24:51
  with
• 24:51
  her
• 24:51
  ex
• 24:52
  husband
• 24:52
  in
• 24:52
  a
• 24:53
  kind
• 24:53
  of
• 24:53
  altercation
• 24:54
  kind
• 24:54
  of
• 24:54
  thing.
• 24:55
  And
• 24:55
  those
• 24:56
  children
• 24:56
  were
• 24:56
  back
• 24:57
  in
• 24:57
  school
• 24:57
  on
• 24:58
  this
• 24:58
  happened
• 24:58
  on
• 24:58
  a
• 24:59
  Friday,
• 24:59
  I
• 24:59
  think,
• 25:00
  and
• 25:00
  they
• 25:00
  went
• 25:00
  to
• 25:00
  live
• 25:01
  with
• 25:01
  the
• 25:01
  grandparents
• 25:02
  and
• 25:02
  they
• 25:02
  were
• 25:02
  back
• 25:02
  in
• 25:02
  school
• 25:02
  on
• 25:03
  Monday
• 25:03
  and
• 25:03
  the
• 25:03
  grandma
• 25:04
  said,
• 25:04
  oh,
• 25:04
  they're
• 25:04
  fine.
• 25:06
  And
• 25:06
  I
• 25:06
  Was
• 25:06
  like,
• 25:07
  oh,
• 25:07
  good
• 25:08
  God.
• 25:08
  Because
• 25:09
  nobody
• 25:09
  wanted
• 25:09
  to
• 25:09
  deal
• 25:10
  with
• 25:10
  it.
• 25:10
  It
• 25:10
  was
• 25:10
  a
• 25:10
  really
• 25:10
  ugly
• 25:11
  situation
• 25:11
  that
• 25:12
  there
• 25:12
  was
• 25:12
  a
• 25:13
  lot
• 25:13
  of
• 25:14
  shame
• 25:14
  and
• 25:15
  embarrassment
• 25:16
  and.
• 25:17
  Which
• 25:17
  there
• 25:17
  shouldn't
• 25:18
  have
• 25:18
  been.
• 25:18
  It
• 25:18
  should
• 25:18
  have
• 25:18
  all
• 25:18
  been.
• 25:19
  It
• 25:19
  should
• 25:19
  have
• 25:20
  all
• 25:20
  been
• 25:20
  about,
• 25:20
  let's
• 25:21
  just
• 25:21
  help
• 25:21
  these
• 25:21
  children
• 25:22
  get
• 25:22
  through
• 25:22
  this.
• 25:23
  But
• 25:24
  the
• 25:25
  thought
• 25:25
  that
• 25:25
  they
• 25:25
  were
• 25:26
  told,
• 25:26
  you
• 25:26
  know,
• 25:27
  you're
• 25:27
  okay,
• 25:28
  we're
• 25:28
  just
• 25:28
  going
• 25:28
  to
• 25:28
  move,
• 25:29
  and
• 25:29
  like,
• 25:29
  almost
• 25:30
  like,
• 25:30
  pretend
• 25:30
  it
• 25:30
  didn't
• 25:31
  happen
• 25:31
  kind
• 25:31
  of
• 25:31
  thing.
• 25:33
  And.
• 25:34
  Yeah,
• 25:35
  and
• 25:35
  what's
• 25:35
  crazier
• 25:36
  is
• 25:36
  it
• 25:36
  was
• 25:36
  funny
• 25:37
  is
• 25:37
  the,
• 25:37
  the
• 25:37
  woman
• 25:38
  that
• 25:38
  this
• 25:38
  happened
• 25:39
  to,
• 25:39
  she
• 25:39
  had
• 25:39
  just
• 25:40
  published
• 25:40
  a
• 25:40
  book
• 25:40
  called
• 25:41
  Raising
• 25:42
  Badass
• 25:42
  Humans.
• 25:43
  And
• 25:43
  it
• 25:44
  was,
• 25:44
  it
• 25:45
  was
• 25:45
  about
• 25:45
  raising
• 25:46
  children
• 25:46
  with
• 25:46
  emotional
• 25:47
  intelligence
• 25:48
  and
• 25:48
  awareness
• 25:48
  and
• 25:49
  resilience.
• 25:49
  And
• 25:50
  I
• 25:50
  was
• 25:51
  like,
• 25:51
  the
• 25:51
  irony
• 25:51
  of
• 25:52
  that.
• 25:52
  I
• 25:52
  said,
• 25:52
  you
• 25:52
  know,
• 25:52
  the
• 25:52
  only
• 25:53
  thing,
• 25:53
  I
• 25:53
  kind
• 25:53
  of
• 25:53
  look
• 25:53
  at
• 25:54
  it
• 25:54
  and
• 25:54
  go,
• 25:54
  well,
• 25:55
  had
• 25:55
  she
• 25:56
  not
• 25:56
  raised
• 25:56
  them,
• 25:57
  I
• 25:57
  mean,
• 25:57
  they
• 25:57
  are,
• 25:58
  I'm
• 25:58
  sorry,
• 25:58
  done
• 25:59
  this.
• 25:59
  My
• 26:00
  dog
• 26:00
  keeps
• 26:00
  barking.
• 26:02
  Had
• 26:02
  she
• 26:02
  not
• 26:02
  raised
• 26:03
  them,
• 26:03
  it
• 26:03
  might
• 26:03
  have
• 26:03
  been
• 26:03
  a
• 26:04
  totally
• 26:04
  different
• 26:04
  story.
• 26:05
  At
• 26:05
  least
• 26:05
  they
• 26:05
  had
• 26:05
  one
• 26:06
  foot
• 26:06
  up.
• 26:07
  But
• 26:07
  many,
• 26:08
  many
• 26:08
  children
• 26:08
  don't.
• 26:09
  And
• 26:09
  they
• 26:09
  go
• 26:09
  through
• 26:10
  something.
• 26:10
  And
• 26:11
  I
• 26:11
  love
• 26:11
  the
• 26:11
  breathing
• 26:12
  thing.
• 26:12
  I
• 26:12
  wish
• 26:13
  they
• 26:13
  taught
• 26:13
  it
• 26:13
  in
• 26:13
  schools.
• 26:14
  Right.
• 26:15
  Yeah,
• 26:15
  it's,
• 26:15
  it's,
• 26:16
  it's.
• 26:16
  It's
• 26:16
  a
• 26:17
  really
• 26:17
  important
• 26:17
  thing.
• 26:17
  And
• 26:18
  I,
• 26:18
  when
• 26:18
  my,
• 26:18
  when
• 26:19
  my
• 26:19
  boys
• 26:19
  were
• 26:20
  in
• 26:20
  second,
• 26:21
  third
• 26:21
  grade,
• 26:21
  I'd
• 26:22
  go
• 26:22
  in
• 26:22
  and
• 26:22
  I
• 26:22
  do
• 26:23
  short
• 26:23
  sessions
• 26:24
  with
• 26:24
  the
• 26:24
  classes
• 26:25
  on
• 26:26
  it
• 26:26
  and.
• 26:26
  Because
• 26:26
  I
• 26:27
  think
• 26:27
  it's
• 26:27
  so
• 26:28
  important
• 26:28
  for
• 26:29
  all
• 26:29
  the
• 26:29
  kids
• 26:29
  to
• 26:29
  have
• 26:30
  that
• 26:31
  tool
• 26:31
  in
• 26:31
  their
• 26:31
  toolbox
• 26:32
  because,
• 26:33
  you
• 26:33
  know,
• 26:33
  they're.
• 26:34
  They're
• 26:34
  going
• 26:34
  to
• 26:34
  be
• 26:34
  moments
• 26:35
  that
• 26:35
  are,
• 26:35
  that
• 26:35
  are
• 26:35
  hard,
• 26:36
  that
• 26:36
  are
• 26:36
  stressful,
• 26:37
  and
• 26:37
  it
• 26:38
  really
• 26:38
  helps
• 26:38
  them
• 26:38
  to
• 26:38
  move
• 26:39
  forward
• 26:39
  in
• 26:39
  a
• 26:39
  way
• 26:39
  that
• 26:40
  feels
• 26:40
  good.
• 26:41
  Right?
• 26:42
  Absolutely.
• 26:42
  And
• 26:42
  they
• 26:43
  need
• 26:43
  that.
• 26:43
  Kids
• 26:43
  need
• 26:43
  that.
• 26:44
  Adults
• 26:44
  need
• 26:44
  that.
• 26:45
  I
• 26:45
  mean,
• 26:45
  a
• 26:45
  lot
• 26:45
  of
• 26:45
  adults
• 26:46
  are
• 26:46
  still
• 26:46
  kind
• 26:46
  of
• 26:47
  like
• 26:47
  floundering,
• 26:47
  and
• 26:48
  they
• 26:48
  don't
• 26:48
  have
• 26:48
  that
• 26:48
  resilience.
• 26:49
  They
• 26:49
  don't
• 26:49
  know.
• 26:50
  But
• 26:50
  that's
• 26:50
  a
• 26:50
  good.
• 26:50
  I
• 26:51
  mean,
• 26:51
  that's
• 26:51
  if.
• 26:51
  From
• 26:52
  everything
• 26:52
  we've
• 26:52
  said
• 26:53
  today,
• 26:53
  that's
• 26:53
  the
• 26:53
  biggest
• 26:54
  tip
• 26:54
  I
• 26:54
  get
• 26:54
  is
• 26:55
  just
• 26:55
  to
• 26:56
  kind
• 26:56
  of
• 26:56
  lower
• 26:56
  that
• 26:56
  baseline
• 26:57
  so
• 26:57
  that
• 26:58
  when
• 26:58
  things
• 26:58
  do
• 26:58
  come
• 26:59
  at
• 26:59
  you,
• 26:59
  you're
• 27:00
  already
• 27:00
  a
• 27:00
  little
• 27:00
  more
• 27:01
  calm
• 27:01
  and
• 27:02
  you
• 27:02
  don't
• 27:03
  jump
• 27:03
  right
• 27:03
  into
• 27:04
  that
• 27:04
  super
• 27:04
  reactive
• 27:05
  state.
• 27:06
  But
• 27:07
  how
• 27:08
  do
• 27:08
  you
• 27:08
  work?
• 27:08
  Like,
• 27:08
  who.
• 27:09
  What
• 27:09
  are
• 27:10
  your
• 27:10
  clients?
• 27:10
  Do
• 27:11
  you
• 27:11
  work
• 27:11
  all
• 27:11
  over
• 27:11
  the
• 27:12
  world?
• 27:12
  Tell
• 27:12
  us
• 27:12
  about
• 27:12
  that.
• 27:13
  Yeah,
• 27:14
  I
• 27:14
  do.
• 27:14
  I.
• 27:14
  I
• 27:15
  work
• 27:15
  virtually.
• 27:16
  Okay.
• 27:17
  So
• 27:17
  I
• 27:17
  am
• 27:17
  available
• 27:18
  for
• 27:18
  virtual
• 27:18
  appointments
• 27:19
  and
• 27:20
  I'm
• 27:21
  licensed
• 27:21
  as
• 27:21
  a
• 27:21
  psychologist
• 27:23
  across
• 27:24
  many,
• 27:24
  many
• 27:24
  states
• 27:25
  because
• 27:26
  there
• 27:27
  was
• 27:27
  a
• 27:28
  side
• 27:28
  pack
• 27:29
  clause
• 27:29
  that
• 27:30
  came
• 27:30
  out
• 27:30
  in.
• 27:31
  During
• 27:31
  COVID
• 27:32
  and
• 27:32
  so
• 27:32
  that
• 27:33
  covers
• 27:33
  me
• 27:33
  across
• 27:33
  many,
• 27:34
  many
• 27:34
  states.
• 27:34
  So
• 27:34
  virtual.
• 27:35
  And
• 27:35
  I'm
• 27:35
  Very
• 27:35
  much
• 27:35
  available
• 27:36
  work,
• 27:37
  as
• 27:37
  I
• 27:37
  mentioned,
• 27:38
  mostly
• 27:38
  with
• 27:38
  parents
• 27:40
  either
• 27:40
  about
• 27:40
  their
• 27:40
  own
• 27:41
  situation.
• 27:42
  Oftentimes
• 27:43
  what's
• 27:43
  happening
• 27:43
  with
• 27:44
  their
• 27:44
  kids
• 27:44
  gets
• 27:44
  wrapped
• 27:45
  into
• 27:45
  it.
• 27:45
  We
• 27:45
  can
• 27:46
  do
• 27:46
  some
• 27:46
  coaching
• 27:46
  around
• 27:47
  that.
• 27:48
  I
• 27:48
  don't
• 27:49
  work
• 27:49
  with
• 27:50
  kids
• 27:50
  virtually.
• 27:51
  Okay.
• 27:52
  So
• 27:52
  I
• 27:52
  do
• 27:52
  work
• 27:52
  with
• 27:53
  older
• 27:54
  adolescents
• 27:55
  who
• 27:55
  might
• 27:55
  be
• 27:56
  serious
• 27:57
  athletes,
• 27:57
  that
• 27:57
  sort
• 27:58
  of
• 27:58
  thing,
• 27:58
  who
• 27:58
  are
• 27:58
  working
• 27:59
  through
• 27:59
  performance
• 27:59
  blocks,
• 28:00
  that
• 28:00
  kind
• 28:00
  of
• 28:00
  thing.
• 28:01
  But
• 28:02
  all
• 28:02
  of
• 28:02
  my
• 28:02
  true
• 28:02
  virtual
• 28:03
  work
• 28:03
  is
• 28:04
  with
• 28:05
  adults.
• 28:06
  Okay,
• 28:06
  perfect,
• 28:07
  perfect.
• 28:08
  And
• 28:08
  that's
• 28:08
  nice
• 28:09
  that
• 28:09
  it's
• 28:10
  Covid
• 28:10
  changed
• 28:11
  things,
• 28:11
  right.
• 28:11
  As
• 28:11
  far
• 28:11
  as
• 28:12
  being.
• 28:12
  Being
• 28:12
  able
• 28:12
  to
• 28:12
  spread
• 28:13
  out
• 28:13
  a
• 28:13
  little
• 28:13
  more
• 28:13
  and
• 28:14
  be
• 28:14
  able
• 28:14
  to
• 28:14
  do
• 28:14
  a
• 28:14
  lot
• 28:14
  more
• 28:15
  virtually,
• 28:16
  which
• 28:16
  is
• 28:16
  a
• 28:16
  blessing
• 28:16
  and
• 28:16
  a
• 28:16
  curse
• 28:17
  because
• 28:17
  I
• 28:17
  always
• 28:18
  still
• 28:18
  feel
• 28:18
  like
• 28:18
  there's
• 28:19
  nothing
• 28:19
  like
• 28:19
  that
• 28:20
  human
• 28:20
  touch.
• 28:20
  You
• 28:20
  know,
• 28:21
  when
• 28:21
  I'm
• 28:22
  dealing
• 28:22
  with
• 28:22
  someone,
• 28:22
  it
• 28:22
  would
• 28:23
  just.
• 28:23
  Sometimes
• 28:23
  it's
• 28:23
  so
• 28:23
  nice
• 28:24
  to
• 28:24
  just.
• 28:24
  Just
• 28:24
  put
• 28:25
  their
• 28:25
  hand
• 28:25
  on
• 28:25
  their
• 28:26
  arm
• 28:26
  or
• 28:26
  their
• 28:26
  shoulder
• 28:27
  and
• 28:27
  say,
• 28:27
  you
• 28:27
  know,
• 28:27
  it's
• 28:28
  okay.
• 28:28
  And
• 28:28
  something
• 28:28
  about
• 28:29
  that
• 28:29
  energetic
• 28:30
  connection
• 28:31
  is
• 28:31
  you
• 28:32
  can't
• 28:32
  do
• 28:32
  that
• 28:32
  through
• 28:32
  zoom.
• 28:33
  I
• 28:33
  mean,
• 28:33
  I'm
• 28:33
  looking
• 28:33
  at
• 28:34
  you,
• 28:34
  but
• 28:34
  I'm
• 28:34
  actually
• 28:34
  looking
• 28:35
  at
• 28:35
  the
• 28:35
  black
• 28:35
  hole,
• 28:35
  because
• 28:36
  I
• 28:36
  know
• 28:36
  you're
• 28:36
  down
• 28:36
  there
• 28:37
  and
• 28:37
  it's
• 28:38
  like,
• 28:39
  I
• 28:39
  got
• 28:40
  you.
• 28:40
  Yeah,
• 28:40
  yeah,
• 28:41
  yeah.
• 28:42
  It's.
• 28:42
  It's,
• 28:43
  yeah,
• 28:43
  like
• 28:43
  I
• 28:43
  said,
• 28:43
  a
• 28:43
  blessing
• 28:44
  and
• 28:44
  a
• 28:44
  curse.
• 28:44
  But
• 28:44
  it's
• 28:44
  just
• 28:45
  something
• 28:45
  we
• 28:45
  deal
• 28:45
  with
• 28:45
  now.
• 28:46
  But
• 28:46
  it
• 28:46
  is
• 28:46
  good
• 28:46
  because
• 28:46
  it
• 28:47
  does
• 28:47
  be.
• 28:47
  Enable
• 28:48
  you
• 28:48
  to
• 28:48
  reach
• 28:49
  out
• 28:49
  to
• 28:49
  the
• 28:49
  masses
• 28:50
  and
• 28:50
  reach
• 28:50
  out
• 28:50
  to
• 28:50
  people
• 28:50
  all
• 28:51
  over
• 28:51
  the
• 28:51
  place.
• 28:52
  So
• 28:52
  people
• 28:52
  want
• 28:52
  to
• 28:53
  work
• 28:53
  with
• 28:53
  you,
• 28:53
  want
• 28:53
  to
• 28:53
  reach
• 28:54
  you.
• 28:54
  What
• 28:54
  is
• 28:54
  the
• 28:55
  best
• 28:55
  way
• 28:55
  for
• 28:55
  them
• 28:55
  to
• 28:56
  get
• 28:56
  hold
• 28:56
  of
• 28:56
  you?
• 28:57
  So
• 28:57
  best
• 28:58
  ways
• 28:58
  through
• 28:58
  my
• 28:58
  website,
• 28:59
  which
• 28:59
  is
• 28:59
  www.
• 29:01
  Caitlinspeaks.com
• 29:04
  and
• 29:04
  I'm
• 29:04
  also
• 29:05
  very
• 29:05
  much
• 29:05
  available
• 29:05
  on
• 29:06
  LinkedIn.
• 29:07
  Okay,
• 29:08
  perfect.
• 29:08
  And
• 29:08
  I
• 29:09
  will
• 29:09
  put
• 29:09
  those
• 29:09
  in,
• 29:10
  those
• 29:10
  in
• 29:10
  the
• 29:10
  show
• 29:10
  notes.
• 29:11
  I'll
• 29:11
  put
• 29:11
  a
• 29:11
  link
• 29:11
  to
• 29:11
  your
• 29:12
  books
• 29:12
  because
• 29:12
  I'm
• 29:12
  excited.
• 29:13
  I'm
• 29:13
  going
• 29:13
  to
• 29:13
  add
• 29:13
  that
• 29:14
  to
• 29:14
  my
• 29:14
  list
• 29:14
  of
• 29:14
  200
• 29:15
  books
• 29:15
  I
• 29:15
  got
• 29:15
  to
• 29:15
  read,
• 29:15
  but
• 29:16
  we're
• 29:16
  going
• 29:16
  to
• 29:16
  put
• 29:16
  it
• 29:17
  on
• 29:17
  there.
• 29:18
  Thank
• 29:18
  you.
• 29:19
  Before
• 29:19
  you
• 29:19
  go,
• 29:19
  though,
• 29:20
  I.
• 29:20
  I
• 29:20
  want
• 29:20
  first,
• 29:21
  I
• 29:21
  want
• 29:21
  to
• 29:21
  thank
• 29:21
  you
• 29:21
  very
• 29:21
  much
• 29:21
  for
• 29:22
  coming
• 29:22
  on
• 29:22
  and
• 29:23
  sharing
• 29:23
  because
• 29:24
  I
• 29:24
  feel
• 29:24
  like
• 29:24
  if
• 29:25
  just
• 29:25
  that
• 29:25
  one
• 29:25
  tip
• 29:26
  alone,
• 29:26
  if
• 29:27
  everybody
• 29:28
  could
• 29:28
  practice
• 29:28
  that
• 29:28
  one
• 29:29
  thing
• 29:29
  and
• 29:29
  just
• 29:30
  get
• 29:30
  yourself
• 29:31
  in
• 29:31
  a
• 29:32
  calmer,
• 29:32
  more
• 29:33
  grounded
• 29:34
  state
• 29:35
  before
• 29:35
  they
• 29:35
  go
• 29:36
  out
• 29:36
  into
• 29:36
  the
• 29:36
  world,
• 29:36
  which
• 29:37
  inevitably
• 29:37
  is
• 29:37
  going
• 29:38
  to
• 29:38
  start
• 29:38
  lifing
• 29:39
  on
• 29:39
  us,
• 29:40
  that's
• 29:40
  the
• 29:40
  best
• 29:40
  way
• 29:41
  to
• 29:41
  put.
• 29:43
  Would
• 29:43
  be
• 29:44
  much
• 29:44
  more.
• 29:44
  It
• 29:45
  would
• 29:45
  be
• 29:45
  helpful.
• 29:46
  But
• 29:47
  if
• 29:47
  you
• 29:47
  could
• 29:47
  give
• 29:47
  people
• 29:48
  one
• 29:48
  piece
• 29:48
  of
• 29:48
  advice,
• 29:49
  one.
• 29:49
  Some
• 29:50
  words
• 29:50
  of
• 29:50
  wisdom,
• 29:51
  what
• 29:51
  would
• 29:51
  it
• 29:52
  be?
• 29:52
  Yeah,
• 29:53
  so
• 29:53
  it
• 29:53
  would
• 29:53
  be
• 29:54
  to
• 29:54
  focus
• 29:55
  on
• 29:55
  the
• 29:55
  possibility
• 29:56
  on
• 29:56
  the
• 29:56
  other
• 29:57
  side
• 29:57
  of
• 29:57
  the
• 29:57
  challenge
• 29:58
  for
• 29:58
  both
• 29:58
  yourself
• 30:00
  and
• 30:00
  your
• 30:00
  children,
• 30:00
  you
• 30:01
  know,
• 30:01
  easier
• 30:01
  said
• 30:01
  than
• 30:02
  done.
• 30:02
  But
• 30:02
  really,
• 30:03
  to
• 30:03
  keep
• 30:03
  your
• 30:03
  eye
• 30:03
  on
• 30:04
  what's
• 30:04
  possible
• 30:05
  for
• 30:05
  you
• 30:05
  out
• 30:05
  there
• 30:05
  is
• 30:06
  so
• 30:06
  important.
• 30:07
  Sounds
• 30:07
  great.
• 30:08
  Well,
• 30:08
  thank
• 30:08
  you
• 30:08
  so,
• 30:09
  so
• 30:09
  much
• 30:09
  for
• 30:09
  coming
• 30:09
  on,
• 30:10
  Kate.
• 30:10
  I
• 30:10
  appreciate
• 30:11
  you.
• 30:12
  Thank
• 30:12
  you
• 30:12
  so
• 30:13
  much
• 30:13
  for
• 30:13
  having
• 30:13
  me.
• 30:14
  You
• 30:14
  are
• 30:14
  very
• 30:15
  welcome.
• 30:15
  And
• 30:15
  for
• 30:15
  everybody
• 30:16
  out
• 30:16
  there
• 30:16
  listening,
• 30:17
  you
• 30:17
  heard
• 30:17
  it.
• 30:17
  That's
• 30:18
  Dr.
• 30:18
  Kate
• 30:18
  Lund.
• 30:19
  And
• 30:19
  she
• 30:19
  gave
• 30:20
  an
• 30:20
  amazing
• 30:21
  tip,
• 30:21
  actually,
• 30:22
  that
• 30:22
  everybody
• 30:23
  can
• 30:23
  practice.
• 30:24
  And
• 30:25
  like
• 30:25
  I
• 30:25
  said,
• 30:26
  anything
• 30:26
  that
• 30:26
  involves
• 30:26
  your
• 30:27
  breath,
• 30:27
  you
• 30:27
  have
• 30:27
  it
• 30:27
  with
• 30:28
  you
• 30:28
  every
• 30:28
  day,
• 30:28
  every
• 30:28
  second,
• 30:29
  every
• 30:29
  moment.
• 30:30
  Use
• 30:30
  it
• 30:31
  to
• 30:31
  your
• 30:31
  advantage.
• 30:31
  Use
• 30:32
  it
• 30:32
  to
• 30:32
  calm.
• 30:32
  Use
• 30:33
  it
• 30:33
  to
• 30:33
  find
• 30:33
  peace
• 30:34
  and
• 30:34
  joy
• 30:34
  and
• 30:34
  love
• 30:35
  in
• 30:35
  your
• 30:35
  life.
• 30:35
  And
• 30:36
  thank
• 30:36
  you
• 30:36
  all.
• 30:37
  You
• 30:37
  all
• 30:37
  have
• 30:37
  a
• 30:37
  very
• 30:38
  blessed
• 30:38
  day.
• 30:38
  And
• 30:38
  we
• 30:39
  will
• 30:39
  see
• 30:39
  you
• 30:39
  back
• 30:39
  next
• 30:40
  week.